Відео

Awesome 💪🔥

Thank you 💚

🙏🔥❤

I hear you, James. Sounds like you're doing great work. Keep going! Yes, it's a marathon, not a sprint. We do this work literally over a lifetime. If you're interested in somatic therapy I offer sessions and a free initial chat on my website.

Thank you - you're welcome

Lol I know what you mean. Glad you found the right place man

Yes, insanely powerful. If you're struggling with it you're not alone or crazy :) but we can work through it

Hey HarmonyLotus - amazing! Great work. So that is a young part of you. It can be helpful to build a relationship wtih it just like it is that young version of you. Let it know you see it, ask it how it feels (literally ask the energy in the body like you're asking a person - don't figure it out intellectually), what it needs etc. Let it know that you see how alone it feels and that it must be really hard. But don't try to change or fix AT ALL - that's the key. We just acknowledge this part deeply, see it, hear it, feel it's pain of aloneness and sit with it in solidarity in that aloneness. Once you have felt that aloneness (with that part) for a while, we then want to resource it. (Check out my resourcing video for more on this). For example, if you have ever had a teacher or friend or pet who was reassuring, imagine they are with this part too, perhaps. Or take this part to a place where it feels safer like a beach. Ask it what it needs and do your best to give it to it. Good luck!

Thank you, very glad they resonate. It's hard I know. Keep going - it's worth it! A quick note, if it's really hellish and awful without much relief then that suggests that a piece of the puzzle is missing, either resourcing (check out my video on that) or exploring the resistance (that'll be my next video - stay tuned - really important topic!). The resourcing helps us integrate the feelings and if unconscious resistance is present we think we're feeling our feelings but really we aren't. It's sneaky. But you have to judge for yourself. Good luck :)

Hey Douglas - thanks for the question, it's a great one. Yes, it does. HOWEVER - the key is really learning to work WITH the resistance (safely). This means, firstly, creating a foundation of safety (see my resourcing video) and then, secondly, learning to discern and investigate the resistance to our feelings. Sometimes with clients I spend the whole session discerning and allowing the resistance. When we welcome the resistance it relaxes and then the feelings from below flow up without us having to do anything. It can be helpful to have support from someone for this. I think I'll do a video on how to work with resistance also - that would be v important. It's the KEY! You don't want to force your way through the resistance - you'll just make it stronger. Sounds like you're doing great work tho :) focus on safety and welcoming resistance and see how you get on. Cheer,s Ben

@@drunkenbuddha4456 Thanks Ben for your reply! I appreciate you and you taking the time to help a stranger on the internet. Would love to see a video focused on resistance, it’s definietly one of my main challenges right now! Been trying to embrace the resistance instead of dissociating from it last day and it’s subtle but it feels like it helps, was able to let through some tears :) Cheers man! Douglas

@@Douglas-gu4my No problem :) OK yes great job. What I mean by 'going with resistance' will be clearer as you practice more - amazing job getting through to the tears - this stuff isn't easy! Stay tuned for the resistance video in a week or so :)

@@drunkenbuddha4456 thank you so much man! Looking forward to the video :)

That's fine and normal. We want to learn to feel and contain our anger in private, by ourselves. We don't want to unleash it on other people (that is not containing or feeling; that is acting it out). We just feel it bit by bit and work through, eventually there is less and less 'in the tank' so to speak, so we get less triggered by others.

Thanks. I didn't say it's mainly men that want to break up. I said it's mainly men that deflect from the truth in that particular way (i.e. by unconsciously repressing how they feel and being 'confused' about it). Although of course women do that, too. It's just that men do it more frequently on the whole so it makes it easier for people to grasp.

@@drunkenbuddha4456 i see, thanks for the explanation

Thank you - interesting. I'm curious - how do you distinguish between emotions that are in similar areas of the body? I'm curious how you use it, basically! Cheers, Ben

@@drunkenbuddha4456 Look up the map, there isn't an emotion that's the same, some are similar but I guess then you really have to think about what it is exactly you are feeling and why. I'm new to all of this and still have a hard time figuring out exactly what it is I'm feeling. I find it very helpful to become mindful, feel exactly were in my body the sensations are and then check on the map for a similar lay out. When I get a general idea of what emotion it is, it helps guide me to possible reasons for said emotion. I'm still only at a stage of knowing if something feels positive or negative, I have alot to learn about the specifics of each emotion and how it feels in my body. It's fun to finally figure all of this stuff out!

You're welcome :)

The journey never ends :) - but it is a beautiful ride. Good luck with the pain!

Me too haha :D

I'm not an expert - but EMDR uses bottom-up and somatic aspects for sure - just bringing in bilateral movement and eye movements as well as these can help reprocess traumatic memories. I haven't tried it but it is meant to be effective. My only gripe would be that it doesn't teach the person HOW to process trauma and be more present with their emotions in daily life.

You're welcome

I hear you - it's difficult. Try softer approaches first - treat your body and the protector parts with love (without denying your frustration and desperation) - bring safety to them (see my resourcing video for help or send me an email). Then they can start to open up and the deeper emotions become more accessible. Good luck!

You're welcome

Absolutely :)

I want to add, I’ve witnessed the self realized who can see clearly the nature of the deceptions and agendas be canceled by other self realized. Nonduality has so much muck it in from ego gods.

Hi Rory, I think this would depend entirely on the situation. Generally, however, you've probably gone too far if you're throwing up! I would back off before that point and go more gently. However, it is true that people purge emotional residue through all kinds of ways, including vomiting. I have had it once that another facilitator I was facilitating threw up a tiny bit (they were experienced enough to go there and know it was helpful - I wouldn't do this with a client). And of course it's very common in ayahuasca ceremonies (although it feels very different to 'normal' throwing up in that context). What is more common is a kind of dry retching/gagging, which happens quite a lot and seems to be helpful to release things energetically/emotionally. But nothing is physically coming up. If the dry retching comes up I would see if you can slowly go with it (staying within your limits or near them) if it gets physical I would back off. Thanks for the question.

@@drunkenbuddha4456 Thank you, I appreciate that info, regards Rory.

@@rory3627 You're welcome Rory

Thank you :)

Thank you!

Thanks for your vulnerability HarmonyLotus. You are far from alone! I think most people feel like this, to be honest. We are just very, VERY good at pretending.

Awesome. That is how we do it! The surest path beyond prisonerhood...:)

Spooky.

Thank you :)

Thanks for sharing. That's it. The fear is instilled in us and we carry it with us from that moment. But we can slowly meet the fear :) Good lucK!

Hello - the core point is simply that if we remain only at the level of the intellect, the therapy will be very limited. I hear your point that there are therapies that call themselves talk therapies that incorporate the body. Great! The therapies that incorporate both can be helpful, and there are plenty of those. My experience is the more you work with the body, the deeper the transformation goes (although not everyone wants that, necessarily, or is ready for it - and that's fine). It's also true that the wave of somatic-based trauma work is still finding it's way into the mainstream. Talk-only therapies (e.g. counselling, CBT) are still the kind of default. The reason this is important there are many examples of people (who I know personally or clients) who have done talk therapy (e.g. standard counselling or CBT) for years or even decades and very little has changed in terms of their core symptoms, even though they 'understand' what's going on for them more deeply. This is not good. It's leaving people in deep suffering and there are alternatives that are more effective. This is why it matters to call this out clearly. Re: alcoholism, I was an alcoholic myself; I know what it entails. However, you're right that I shouldn't probably use the example so flippantly or without greater context. It could be misunderstood. I'll be more careful in future. Thank you for that. Alcoholism manifests in many different ways (a middle-class professional drinking too much wine on the weekend is different from someone on the streets). It's also true that there are many ways people recover, not all of which are full sobriety. For less serious cases of alcoholism, somatic therapy can indeed be helpful to help people to grasp directly what is driving their drinking (i.e. the actual felt sense of nervous system dysregulation in the moment). More serious cases, many will need sobriety first as well as serious in-person support to detox and get clean. Ben

He is selling you the very therapy he says doesn't work. However, his resentment towards people who have studied to be analysts over many years shows clearly. He uses psychodynamic/analytical terms but doesn't have the experience nor qualifications that come with proper training- if he did he wouldn't suggest therapists seek to intellectualise emotional issues, addiction or trauma. He's fundamentally incorrect with his representation of what talk therapy is. Also not everything is repression, not everything needs to be embodied either... E.g. to prove my point: Imagine your friend has cried everyday because they have broken up with their partner. They do not struggle to embody their emotions, they may have felt very anxiously attached, or lived in symbiosis with that person. Additionally, rejection may be a pattern they experienced before. Maybe, they have never experienced rejection like this before, and they have no frame of reference to make sense of the break up. It could be many things that cause them to cry everyday, maybe crying actually makes them feel really good! Now when you talk to them to try to understand their situation, the complexities of it, you are also helping them make sense of it. As they are put in a situation where they are not just feeling heard, held (winnicott term, not literally held) and maybe the strength of the counsellor can allow them to feel secure enough to express some confusing and conflicting emotions which can be made sense of gradually. Not by the counsellor but by the client. They will make sense of it just through the exploration of thoughts, feelings and description of what it is they are going through. I doubt very much a man who suggests all counselling is essentially the lowest grade of CBT knows what talk therapy is - let alone be qualified to help people ESPECIALLY with addiction... the suggestion you can simply cut down to once every couple days is just... its hogwash

​@@Geoh1990 Are you even listening to what he is saying?

Or you can't because your nervous system is in fight or flight mode

​​@@produfo9900:24 he says talk therapy works at the level of "intellect." 01:13 "crazy thinking" 01:22 "catastrophizing" 01:28 "can't stop drinking. Which is a behaviour and you're thinking about you're drinking but what's fueling this is ALWAYS much deeper down in the body in the unconscious and that is the level you need to work at." First one and a half minutes. Briefly picked out points that need to be addressed. Catastrophizing is a CBT term, unceremoniously borrowed in this video. Similarly he borrows the terms unconscious, intellectualisation and rationalisation. I wonder which school of therapy he borrowed the term "crazy thinking" from? 😂 I will address your point regarding my "nervous system." You might see anger or anxiety in my writing, if you have worked with embodied somatic therapists (is what they are called right?) Then you will have been trained/coached into seeing anxiety/anger or flight/fight responses in almost everything. I am indeed angry about this video but do not confuse my anger with an instinctual process as my desire to challenge his falsehoods are fueled by my values, not emotions or instincts. Specifically the last quote I picked out regarding addiction is extremely dangerous. Addiction, especially alcoholism, is not merely a behaviour caused by unconscious or repressed issued. An alcoholic suffering the most extreme cases will literally die if they stop drinking, they need specialist help and assistance from doctors who can prescribe medicines to help their body overcome withdrawal... it takes some understand of addiction and how it can affect people, to fully appreciate how wrong this man ironically named "drunken," is.

​@@Geoh1990 Ooof you use too many words. You are all over the place. Maybe a little less 'talk therapy' for you? It may just do you some good 😉

You're welcome 🙏

Hi Alex - it's pretty shocking and amazing! To be honest this insight it huge. It's very transformative if you use it wisely. Glad it resonates with you 🙏 Godspeed my friend :)

Thank you 🙏

Great you're welcome ;)

Yes but practically how would you tackle self confidence? Self confidence comes with being able to feel and express our emotions, it’s not just anger, maybe hurt, maybe some other core feelings that feel very unsafe Find your deepest scariest emotions and target them

Hey Tony :) thank you. Yes, anger is a response to (and therefore repression of, in a way) a sense of helplessness and incapacity. It exists to help us take back control and capacity. So a part of working with anger is exploring that as well. What is causing your confusion is that the idea of integration is missing. When we unrepress our anger (and also feel the helplessness beneath) it integrates. Then it's no longer 'anger' taht is external to us, but transmutes into an innate sense of strength and power. THAT is what actually enables us to set boundaries and say no. When fully integrated the anger would not be anger but this innate solidity and strength from which you can calmly say yes or no and it will feel like you're ordering a coffee. Self-confidence is a bit of a nebulous idea, I don't think it really exists as such. It's a label for your inherent sense of capacity regarding a particular activity. So if you feel you have the capacity to brush your teeth, you will feel self-confident in that domain. Now, you could be wrong and injure yourself :D. And the amount of capacity we need goes up in proportion with the risk of harm. So brushing your teeth is low risk. Investing your life savings in a new business is high risk - and so the threshold of capacity needed to feel self-confident will be much higher. Fun stuff :)

@@goych Hey :) I think your point would be a function of the fact that the more we feel our emotions, the less attached we are to particular outcomes (because we are really afraid of the FEELINGS the outcomes will generate) and so life feels less scary and we therefore feel more self-confident. Great point - thank you!

@@drunkenbuddha4456 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Thanks man

Thanks buddy - a belated reply to your excellent question. Think of it this way: imagine that an emotion is a superhero whose mission is to help you survive. Each emotion has a different superpower: fear helps you hide or act with appropriate caution, anger helps you take control or stand up for yourself, sadness helps you signal for help from others, give yourself space when you need it etc. Each superhero turns up when needed to complete a given mission. When we fully feel the emotion that superhero feels like it has 'completed' its mission - it has been acknowledged, heard and felt. And it can return to superhero land - the emotion integrates, dissolves and actually leaves us feeling stronger and more whole. If we resist and repress it, it will keep trying over and over again to 'save' you. Even long after the original threat is gone. And we keep having to push these parts away, overall feeling weaker and more fragmented. Not that concise. But there you go :)