Hi! I tried following the steps in this video and was pleasantly surprised. I've never felt anxiety move or shift like this before - it almost always feels very stuck and very very scary. However, I used this technique twice now and each time I felt a vulnerability in my solar plexus area, under which I felt sadness and the feeling that no one is there for me and I am so alone. It felt like a very young voice. So that was great, but I don't quite know what to do next. How do I make that voice feel less alone?
Hey HarmonyLotus - amazing! Great work. So that is a young part of you. It can be helpful to build a relationship wtih it just like it is that young version of you. Let it know you see it, ask it how it feels (literally ask the energy in the body like you're asking a person - don't figure it out intellectually), what it needs etc. Let it know that you see how alone it feels and that it must be really hard. But don't try to change or fix AT ALL - that's the key. We just acknowledge this part deeply, see it, hear it, feel it's pain of aloneness and sit with it in solidarity in that aloneness. Once you have felt that aloneness (with that part) for a while, we then want to resource it. (Check out my resourcing video for more on this). For example, if you have ever had a teacher or friend or pet who was reassuring, imagine they are with this part too, perhaps. Or take this part to a place where it feels safer like a beach. Ask it what it needs and do your best to give it to it. Good luck!
Hey man! In the beginning of your journey, did it feel like the stuffed anger that you started to release and connect with was an endless pit? I’ve been using your techniques with success but the anger seems like a never ending dark black hole - although I wanna say I have a loooot to be angry about that I never allowed myself to feel (and I’m 33 now) so I guess I maybe just need to feel it until it stops lol? Thank you for what you do, have been binging your videos and hope I can have some session with you when I have saved up some money :) Cheers!
Hey Douglas, it can feel pretty endless sometimes. However, in each individual session (if you get it right) you should notice some shifts, either in your capacity to be with and contain the anger, a movement from anger to whatever is underneath it or the anger transmutes into a sense of power. If it is literally just looping endlessly then you have probably missed something. Either you aren't fully being with it in the body (instead you are subtly in your head), there is some hidden resistance to it holding it in place, you haven't met the need of that part or there is something it wants to communicate that you haven't quite grasped yet. Crucially, some people have a lot of access to anger and what that does is repress the more vulnerable emotions underneath. So you could explore the parts of you that are RESISTING feeling helpless or alone etc. In a 'complete' session (there is no such thing really but for argument's sake) you will feel through a layer of the anger, then that will give space to feel the vulnerability underneath. Then you tend to move back and forth between anger (defence) and vulnerability (wound). You know you're in the right spot if it feels 'good' or 'relieving' in some way to feel the anger. There are always deeper layers of the anger coming up - that can be essentially (if not literally) endless, but there should be lots of shifts and changes you notice along the way. Hope that helps :)
Hi! I tried following the steps in this video and was pleasantly surprised. I've never felt anxiety move or shift like this before - it almost always feels very stuck and very very scary.
However, I used this technique twice now and each time I felt a vulnerability in my solar plexus area, under which I felt sadness and the feeling that no one is there for me and I am so alone. It felt like a very young voice.
So that was great, but I don't quite know what to do next. How do I make that voice feel less alone?
Hey HarmonyLotus - amazing! Great work.
So that is a young part of you. It can be helpful to build a relationship wtih it just like it is that young version of you. Let it know you see it, ask it how it feels (literally ask the energy in the body like you're asking a person - don't figure it out intellectually), what it needs etc. Let it know that you see how alone it feels and that it must be really hard. But don't try to change or fix AT ALL - that's the key. We just acknowledge this part deeply, see it, hear it, feel it's pain of aloneness and sit with it in solidarity in that aloneness. Once you have felt that aloneness (with that part) for a while, we then want to resource it. (Check out my resourcing video for more on this). For example, if you have ever had a teacher or friend or pet who was reassuring, imagine they are with this part too, perhaps. Or take this part to a place where it feels safer like a beach. Ask it what it needs and do your best to give it to it. Good luck!
This is excellent Ben, I missed this sharing somehow
Thanks James!
Hey man! In the beginning of your journey, did it feel like the stuffed anger that you started to release and connect with was an endless pit?
I’ve been using your techniques with success but the anger seems like a never ending dark black hole - although I wanna say I have a loooot to be angry about that I never allowed myself to feel (and I’m 33 now) so I guess I maybe just need to feel it until it stops lol?
Thank you for what you do, have been binging your videos and hope I can have some session with you when I have saved up some money :)
Cheers!
Hey Douglas, it can feel pretty endless sometimes. However, in each individual session (if you get it right) you should notice some shifts, either in your capacity to be with and contain the anger, a movement from anger to whatever is underneath it or the anger transmutes into a sense of power.
If it is literally just looping endlessly then you have probably missed something. Either you aren't fully being with it in the body (instead you are subtly in your head), there is some hidden resistance to it holding it in place, you haven't met the need of that part or there is something it wants to communicate that you haven't quite grasped yet.
Crucially, some people have a lot of access to anger and what that does is repress the more vulnerable emotions underneath. So you could explore the parts of you that are RESISTING feeling helpless or alone etc.
In a 'complete' session (there is no such thing really but for argument's sake) you will feel through a layer of the anger, then that will give space to feel the vulnerability underneath. Then you tend to move back and forth between anger (defence) and vulnerability (wound).
You know you're in the right spot if it feels 'good' or 'relieving' in some way to feel the anger.
There are always deeper layers of the anger coming up - that can be essentially (if not literally) endless, but there should be lots of shifts and changes you notice along the way. Hope that helps :)
Can get that sheet