A Narcissist's Threats are Mostly Hot Air, Except When They Become Dangerous
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- Опубліковано 26 лис 2015
- The biggest things a narcissist threatens you with if you don't do what they say are empty.
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“Chaos takes a lot of work.” That’s a great sentence
Everything you said is a perfect description of a narcissist and they will at the end want to kill who they lose control of because they can't take any loss
My ex nearly killed me in his final fit of narcissistic rage attack, totally didn't see it coming. He knew I saw him for what his was. I was lucky to get away with my life. Now I have a restraining order and he cant contact me anymore.
I'm getting one against mother.
Sometimes the victim can snap too.
+grand454 Sadly sometimes the victim channels the anger towards someone other than the narcissist.
+Ludmil Ivanov I have been there and that is used against you.
They do it's prolly why there is domestic violence
grand454 exactly
grand454 uh
The most terrifying thing about my former Cluster B was her absolute addition to Dateline, looking back it wasn't an addiction, it was homework.
My sister is like that, and she's become almost a carbon copy of my nmom. Creepy....
A narc I accidentally hooked up with and am getting stalked by was literally STUDYING this eerie, nuclear destruction video on UA-cam and he always talks so idealistically about depopulation. He’s grandiose and a psychopath. He’s got some money too so he recently just threatened to put a hit out on me and my family if I didn’t “do what he says.” I’m not going to let him scare me and control me with fear but he’s really making me angry. I can’t believe somebody could be THAT DISGUSTING. I’m hitting myself on the head for sharing such an intimate part of myself with him.
My first narcissistic ex boyfriend, to my knowledge, favorite show is/was “A 1000 Ways to Die.” And he is/was obsessed with Stewie Griffin. I never thought of it before but if you analyze Stewie’s psychological state, I wonder how is that he idealizes this character as an adult male. He’s now a practicing surgeon.
Narcissists live for power and they always follow through on their threats to show you they are the boss and you must never disobey them. Even if they're violating your rights - time, money etc they must have immediate gratification at all times. If you don't give it to them then you better find ways to protect yourself because they will retaliate and enjoy taking you down a peg or two in their own eyes.
Aka tyrants
I never bow down to narcissists and have tortured many . They are just cowards. Being spineless doesn't make a change.
I think you're onto something. However, where they don't actually kill their target physically, they slowly mentally torture them, using passive-aggressive techniques, ruining their lives and making them "dead", in terms of any agency or power that they're left with. This is done deliberately, consciously and on purpose. They’re ruthless.
I agree with your assessment that "they're not people of action" and yes, generating a never end of dysfunction and chaos does "take a lot of work."
Mending the Hummingbird do not underestimate him
Chaos takes a lot of work- Great line!
They do a lot of harm with talk, true or not they will bully you and try to put U down. Those people are very sick, stay away from them. Very sad
A few inferences: If they are cowardly yet ill-intended, if they can have criminal minds yet are obsessed with faking self-righteousness, if they are lazy yet want things done for them...then it's clear that they would rarely make overt treats and follow through on them with their own hands. Instead, when they want to commit a serious crime they proceed very secretly and where possible they recruit other people to do the dirty work.
I can attest from personal experience, they CAN be deadly.
I can to absolutely
Me too.
I know one who used to sharpen knives in the kitchen. The message was clear.
(*gulp")
When I left my ExN, it was rather sudden..for HIM. I couldn't take the, controlling BS, silent treatment and being in a panic type state all the time. I had my 3 beautiful kids w/ me and we were planning this great life, only to find that he was a big flop, and a very destructive, controlling, and angry man. Nothing resembling what I fell in love with. Relationship was 3 yrs long. I actually called my X-hubby ( dad of all 3) and told him something was terribly wrong and he needed to come right away to get us. While I was packing up our belongings and not taking any SHIT from that asshole anymore, he took the kids for a walk to tell them "Bye". I didn't think much of it, since it was country type property, and they enjoy nature. I was suddenly overwhelmed w/ PANIC and the worst fear ever. He just walked off w/ my babies. Nearest neighbor was a mile away. I stayed glued to the window, called their names, and they finally came back to the porch. Good GAWD, listen to what Scott is saying. I have had break-ups, marriage loss, bad dates, but I have NEVER felt fear like that. He knew my X-hub and the childrens' father was hauling ass and about to pull up any minute, so he didn't do anything, if he was thinking it in a flash. Never been so terrified. But my ExN was in a frame of mind I'll never forget. Like holding a baby bunny so hard they kill it, then toss it. SICK. I haven't seen him since January 16', no contact...best decision I ever made was to walk out on that motherfucker. Sorry for language, but they are absolutely awful people. Stay away from them. Much love to all
😮 what a terrible feeling…I could feel your fear and anxiety pulsating as I read your story…! Horrible! 😳I’m so glad that this was a happy story because you literally dodged a bullet…!!! 🥲So brave and good for you! yay! everything turned out okay!! 😮💨
Lots of threats, including a close pointing finger in my face and blocking the doorway with his body yelling saying "I'm going to leave, and you'll be living in your car." Thank God I've filed for divorce, but living under the same roof in separate rooms is emotionally draining and feel so alone and isolated. I just want this process to go quicker, but for the moment I'm financially dependent; he has had me frightened at times, and after 14 years being married to this person, he's never physically abused me, although I consider his physical intimidation and bullying, while blocking the door with a finger at my face, is really scary making me feel to small.
Narcissistic Rage ~ extremely dangerous time to be around them. Totally and completely unpredictable. Shocking to witness. Very very stressful. And with the potential of extreme violence. Do I think they could murder their victim? without a doubt.
+JD ashcroft My narcissists have been in many fights, including a non-fatal stabbing. There is nothing to gain and everything to lose when fighting a narcissist.
They loose control like total blockout.
At 3 am once, he started calling me names and said that all he felt like was to kick my head off. H
Have you got an idea why they are so cruel ?My first boyfriend was a narc too-as my mother is-I didnt know much about the world back then -and Chose a violent one.At the end he was this mean I almost had needed a psychologist and Sanatorium stay.He was like my mother and altough I said I am leaving and do not take anything with me I am already looking for own flat -he just tortured me-waked me in hat emiddle of the night when I was tired and sick-and I did everything he sayis to stay until I had my flat. He took Advantage of my Situation I Wanst aloowed an own life had to be with him all tbhe time-had to stay in the hall when he went for an overnight with his brother.And he couldnt resist calling me fucker you arent a good housewife -there is a dirt and there and here ...fucker is laundry ready - I cannot go over to the Supermarket call your friends when you are really sick .But he played nice the very Moment his sister came with her husband or the neighbours.How come they loose respect so totally !And why do they call when you finally got out !Icecold -he took five Dollar out of my Hand when we left Restaurant and he asked if I copuld lend him five Dollars. I did-but I was shocked with the way he took it. I wanted it to take out of my purse and handing over to him-but he was so quick with taknif it I almost had openedn my purse. A bit greedy and very unfriendly and cold I do think !They are loners without brain-cause there cannot eat. Doctors should pay me two billions in crude since they do know a narc is a three koth old and not a two years old Ist all about Money making-and NWO!
When that engine of abuse and supply is chugging along between you and the narc, no they will not leave,. It becomes real dangerous when you find some effective ways to restrict that engine, ways to cut off the fuel. Be careful when disengaging from these relationships, have a plan, get outside help, have safe places to go. On the other hand, when my narc mom and I reconnected she hightailed it out of town, but that abuse-supply cycle was not in place and I had no intentions of feeding her any supply to start with. Yea they will go away if they can't get you hooked into their drama up front. But once you let yourself become a part of that cycle, watch out! It's hard and often dangerous to get free of it.
In my case, that was exactly right. My ex was a middle,covert narcissist and he couldn't function without his Mom's money, or his significant others physical help. I kicked him out and he brought his mom and sister to do all the work. He did nothing that he tried to scare me with. He's too lazy and broken to function.
Once my narc, who lives in another city, but bullies me over the phone, said that if he lived in my town, he would drive over, kick open my door, beat me down, then pick up my television and smash it over my head. THAT scared me! Why do I talk to him over the phone? Well, it started out with the love bombing, and gradually grew worse over the phone. I'm working up to the day when I change my number. It's just that I dread being so alone when I do.😬
Oh yes, glad you're making this connection between crime and personality disorders because so many people will never see it. It's becoming mainstream knowledge but narcissist is a word that's still used inaccurately and a lot of people still believe that a narcissist is simply someone who is excessively vain.
As an avid watcher of documentaries on the ID channel, I can't count the number of times where killers (serial killers and also those who acted for other reasons) have indeed been labeled as narcissists by the psychologists. And, I would also state that I have witnessed/experienced very real threats of death by two narcs.
When my sister fought me while pregnant and was trying to choke me out, I realized she is very dangerous and will kill. She had no regards for my unborn child. I’m glad she is out of my life.
Hello, and thank you for addressing these higly important aspects of narcissism. As you point out; very often their big words are followed by...nothing. There seems to be a certain level of cowardice, with these people. But it is ESSENTIAL to be aware of the ones that fear exposure of their abuse. These people will literally walk into their own death, if it means having succeded in shutting you up... Take care. Kind regards.
My ex NARC is all talk he threaten me but do nothing, I use to be afraid but not anymore.
All psychopaths are narcissists, not all narcissists are psychopaths...
My niece, a malignant narcissist, is extremely deadly. She caused my father's murder. She personally, physically attempted to murder her husband in front of her 3 small boys, marring them for life. When her ex father in law attempted to get her children from her after that, she falsely accused him of anally raping her middle son (not the first time she falsely accused someone of sexually abusing her children), which kept him from getting her children. She then went homeless with three young boys. She moved to Ohio and a black bodybuilder took pity on her to get her off the streets... she took it to mean he wanted to marry her. *WRONG!* While at his house, she used his Internet to find a 17 minute portion of her former pastor's preaching to expose his anti-interracial marriage stance to national news and online gossip sites... She destroyed her former pastor's ministry by getting him tagged "the most racist pastor in America." She is definitely very dangerous. She has committed perjury, felony false report a number of times, attempted murder, slander and libel to the "N"th degree. Speaking of degrees... she claims she has" 2 degrees and is working on a third" (quoted from her online post) but really she has two 2 week certificates and was working on a third when she made the post. Her new boyfriend is the front man for a horrible death metal band called, no kidding, "Dark Psychotica." Her parents tippy toed around her for her entire life and never laid down the law. They even defended her through all this, even when my dad was murdered ON THEIR PROPERTY. And, nobody's in prison yet. *NARCISSISTS CAN BE EXTREMELY DEADLY AND DANGEROUS.* Don't be deceived. You better protect yourself from them.
My ex is dangerous. When I realized that he was a narcissist and I ended our engagement and relationship, he began to harass me and scare me. When I realized that he wasn't going to leave me alone, I had to get the police involved and I was granted a 5 year restraining order against him based on the evidence that I had. I have had a restraining order against him for about three months, and he calls me several times a day. He knows that he can get arrested for this, but he doesn't care. He's been hovering me with beautiful words of "love" and there have been nights where I felt terrified, not really knowing what he's capable of. Thankfully, he stopped showing up at my house and following me once I was granted the restraining order. That was the main thing I wanted. I've changed my number twice and he got it both times (this guy is persistent), and he pretty much just bugs me over the phone. I've learned how to enjoy my life with him still contacting me, and when my voicemails get full, I report them all to the police. I think that things will remain this way for sometime, I don't think that he will get more aggressive. Then again, your'e never know.
+His Daughter in Christ
I am looking forward to your video about not changing your #.
I said the same thing, that he would get it again but I finally did and also got a restraining order.
The last few months have been so peaceful.
Sure he will come around again but I am not letting it run my life anymore.
Taking my power back piece by piece=empowering!
Peace to you!
Door handle makes it look like you have a badass earring lol. Great video and insight
I just learned HOW dangerous the Narc I was living with can be! He exploded over a few dollars that I had in my purse that he didn't know about. He tried to break my arm when I grabbed my purse after he dumped it out. "let it go, or I WILL break it!" Shoved me into the bedroom, so he could grandstand and pack. He told me get out of his space or it would be really bad. He then got me in a choke hold, and began strangling me, telling me "we can finish this here, right now, you and me, and it will be done!" Yes..I realized that night after he went to jail that he IS capable of Murder! I am very scared that if he gets out, since there is no hope for him, that he will "finish the job". I must follow through and make the charges stick. My neighbor who heard everything will give a statement to police. Narcissists ARE dangerous. If you identify with these vids, you MUST GET AWAY!
There really are a lot of empty threats. What they warn and threaten, they do not do. It's more about what they actually do and surprise you with. That's what to worry about. Yes, there is a potential to kill...I witnessed it. Only a couple times and after 15yrs together. It was not there previously but it became evident. Only due to my remaining calm and playing along did I get to witness the killer...It was both fascinating and scary as hell.
Totally relate to what you said.
Yeah Randy. I got 'the feeling' worse could happen. He hinted at it just enough to make me wonder. It was toward my escape so don't know how it would have played out if Id stayed.
...except when they become dangerous.
My narc ex talked about killing people, and trying to get other people to kill for him because he was pissed off. (police can't do anything until he actually commits the crime)
He did terrible things to people, (or their pets or property) who refused to continue in whatever capacity he was using them, or walked away from him.
No limits to what some of them are capable of when they lose control of people. Leaving him was the biggest violation and set me up for that kind of wrath. Obviously I moved very very far away.
some don't snap, some are calculated in their murders. i had a person (recently!) try and gaslight me into doing something 'safe' that would have killed me and/or my dog. their faulty reassurance that I wouldn't be harmed was based on a 'misunderstanding' of theirs, so they professed to not know the extent of the danger they were tying to push me into.
+Georgia Byrd what was it? I don't really understand what you wrote.
+Katja Sommer It's a long story with details you'd have to take my word on (which im counting on you to trust me on ;).... didn't mean to sound that cryptic. But i've heard others talk about it too putting people in very dangerous situations 'on accident.'
Sorry to be brief, I'll try and break it down a little. But mine was trying to get me to walk along train tracks that were held up by a covered bridge. It was narrow and high up and only had space for the tracks, so if we'd walked them and a train came, it would hit whoever was on the bridge and kill them. He said 'let's walk across!' He is an avid runner, so knew he could make it to the other side if a train did come. I have health problems and am slow, and had my dog with me offleash. When i protested for obvious reasons, he pushed it to the point it was ridiculous. "I do it all the time!"... 'the train only comes by twice a day!", just pushing, pushing, pushing HARD. I got upset, because at a cellular level i knew it was insane. He has asperger's. Trains are a very common hobby with them. He knew all the train schedules (or nearly... don't know if he knew this very one, but i know for sure that he knew they were regular, and that he lied about thinking they only came twice a day). As I decided to keep walking, we got maybe 150 ft away and a train passed. Had I agreed either myself and/or my dog would have been killed.
I don't know whether, probably a mixture, he was hoping we'd 1) die 2) i'd be able to make it off but my rescue dog who bolts and would have gotten trapped in the confusion, again i didn't have a leash, would have died and he could have gotten off on my devastation (this dog is EVERYTHING to me, i'm going through such a hard time and he loves me, he's my only family at present) or 3) if the fall didn't kill me if I was able to barely make it to the edge of the bridge and jump off, then I would have shattered my legs or broken my back which would have been the (slow) death of me (again, I'm trying to recover from major health problems).
Sick. Disturbing. Fuck.
He's a "good Chrisitian man"...... he would have gotten so much supply off church recounting how horrible it was to see such a tragic death, all the prayers, all the support...... as well as his private little Faces of Death memory he could get off with for the rest of his life.
+Georgia Byrd and again, that's the beauty of it, no one would know the truth......"but I told her she shouldn't be walking on the tracks!" sniff sniff
+Georgia Byrd horrifying story, and I don't have the smallest doubt, he meant that to do! Concidering the narc I know, I never thought somebody can be so evil. I thought such stories happen only on films.
I know! I feel like I'm suggesting a bad story line to a bad movie. And it also makes you feel like a histrionic nut if you try and tell someone, "He tried to make me walk on TRAIN TRACKS!"
But I was there, and I know him, I know it was true... Well, me and God, the silent court reporter to all their "Are You Sh$%ing Me?" antics.
Threatened to have cops come to my house every day of the week...crickets
What do you know about statistics on the narcissists potential for getting their partner to act violently towards them so they can cry wolf
It’s called reactive abuse. It’s a tactic of a narcissist.
Finally went full No Contact and have gotten berating VM’s before I blocked him, a passive aggressive card, and it culminated in a wellness check by the police. Even the police said expect him to continue doing this. I honestly think he’s completely insane and would try to kill me or my partner. This one has physically injured or beaten multiple people, has been in trouble with the law, etc. Some of these people will hurt others-you do need to look at their past and be very careful.
My late narc abusive real Dr.Jekyll/Mr. Hyde demon of a husband of 42 years threatened to kill me before he dropped dead of a heart attack a couple of years ago! He said "sometimes I feel like killing people and sometimes, I feel like killing you"! Did he really mean it? I don't know because he didn't live to do it. He also said he thought he was mentally ill and I told him he was! Don't miss him and THE best way to go NO CONTACT was his dying! Never thought I'd ever feel that way, but after what I've been through, I've finally come to that conclusion! Thankfully, via therapy and all the videos on UA-cam University and reading great books on healing from narc abuse , I''m healing and on my way to a healthier and brighter future that I might not have had if I had stayed with that complete monster! So ironic, because he loved actual masks, loved all the old horror movies and was a real life combination of all those old Hollywood monsters!
What to do when threats become reality. It's extremely not safe in life right now.
I saw very little of my narc mom (even less than usual) for about a month after I announced that I had lined up another place to live for my second year of college, almost had all the money I would need, and would be leaving soon. I'm taking my final trip to get the very last of my things when I see her standing in the middle of the living room, which I would have to go through to get to my room. It was the creepiest, silent observance, and I wondered why she ventured out of her lair now of all times. I moved past her with a box and started to take down all my academic trophies/medals, etc. to take with me. She. Lost. Her. Mind. I used to think 'out of nowhere', but now I know better. She didn't want me to take my awards, insisting that things like that belong at the parents' house. I continued to try to take them, and she became more and more enraged. There is a very real moment when you sense that these people are getting ready to do something violent. It's in their eyes. I looked at her, and her eyes looked nearly black-- glazed, animalistic. Imagine the horror movie moment when a character realizes that the person they're talking to is really possessed/a demon. There was NOTHING human in her eyes. I don't remember what all was screamed after that- just spittle flying and dead eyes, but my dad got between us and told me to go. I did. Years later, she still has the broken pieces of 12 years of academic awards ON DISPLAY in her bedroom. It doesn't have to be a big issue. I believe she could have killed me that day, just for daring to move out of that house and for having the gall to say no to her confiscating something I cherished.
I lived this. My ex threatened me with lawyers that he said he had been talking to so "I couldn't have the house or any possessions" after I told him I wanted a divorce. We'd beent together 17 years and shared 3 children together. All lies. But I believed him. I stayed for 5 months. He insidiously threatened me in very innocuous ways only when I was around that he would kill himself if I left. A day came and he followed me around the house yelling at me and blaming me for everything wrong in our marriage and I stood up to him. He told me he'd have me removed from our home, I said " fine. Do it. Call the cops." He snapped and attempted a very grandiose and dramatic suicide attempt, in my opinion, so he could appear the victim. He had warned me of this several times. I called his bluff. It was all very staged. After he got out of the mental health unit. I stayed he continued to get more and more mentally and emotionally erratic. Berating me at work via text all day, telling me I couldn't come home and that if I did he couldn't be "civil" to me. Of course, he wouldn't let me have the children either. If I wanted to see the children I would need to come home. I ended up beginning to fear for my life and the lives of my children when his emotions became just as erratic if not more so, as the day he tried to kill himself with our 11 year old child home. I wasn't backing down to him and I honestly feared he would kill me, kill my children and himself, or kill all of us. I made an escape plan and got my children and myself out of there safely. And boy have I paid for that narcissistic injury. He then did hire a lawyer (finally. Because remember he had said he had one for weeks) and him and and his lawyer emotionally blackmailed me to make me look like the crazy one and him the victim of me. Every time I look at this man that I loved and share three children with, all I see is pure evil. I'm 100% certain he could have turned his rage into something catastrophic. My intuition told me what I needed to do. And I did it. But I've paid for it dearly.
There is a narcissist advertising on your channel before your video and it's funny.
My narcissist ex who I left 2 years ago has been bothering me trying to get in contact with me ever since and he always emails me and I can’t stop them even when it’s blocked he just makes new accounts and emails me. I for the first time gave a response and told him to F off and leave me alone and stop contacting me. His sending me all these threatening messages telling me I should watch my back “I’m coming for you you’ll be sorry”, watch what I do to you etc, he hacked my Facebook put my mugshots as my profile picture harassing me bullying me, so I’ve had to inform police hopefully they’ll scare him off
Ok. So, when my ex narc wife felt like she had everything lined out (and some other people prodding her from behind) I believe she poisoned me for insurance money $500k. Problem is, I didn't die. So I actually suffered for several more years with her. Strange thing happened during the divorce...................her boyfriend (39 y/o) died......of pneumonia (classically poisoning can look like pneumonia). I went to the police but they declined to open an investigation because it was years prior (it took time for me to figure it out) and obviously I am still alive.
my mother killed my father in cold blood and gotten away with it
Though I do enjoy some of your videos and you make some good points. You make way too many generalizations about them. Narcissists can definitely follow through on threats. And they can and will hurt you for their own sick pleasure and actually do what they say they're going to do. It's all situational. No narcissist is exactly the same and you kind of make it out to be that they are.
I think you're a bit off. When narcissists kill someone it's not to make themselves feel better, it's basically a rage-panic induced animal response. They do it because they feel like they're being emotionally annihilated. It's not a conscious thing; think of the people that kill their spouse or kids in a fit of rage and then feel bad later not because they are sorry for what they did but because they don't want to deal with the legal/social consequences.
Yes that's my experience. Narc's always follow through w their threats. Always been my situation w three different narc people.
Serenity
Serenity your so right. Its only been 2 days of no contact and hes already threatening me because i left with lovey dovey words. Im so worried i dont know what to do. Even no contact is making him lash out at me. He called me over 20 times within 2 hours today and i had 3 friend requests of his name because i keep blocking. Iv resorted to deactivating for a few days. Hes making my life a living hell. He came knocking on my door he broke my stuff he even threatened to harm me. Im so worried. Hes so scarily mentally unstable.
Serenity Rayne Scott was making the point that generally narcs are full of hot air. He had never said that all narcs are the same. My experience has been that narcs generally want to 'look like the good guy' so they're generally very careful about their actions and will tend to lash out PRIVATELY rather than making their actions obvious. And like he has also pointed out in another video - when they mess up, they REALLY mess up!
Why isnn't there education in our schools, teaching the warning signs? And if it' s proven that someone is this way, because the brain looks different with sociopaths, they should at least get their d.n.a. They do bad things everyday, it's who they are.
No offense but since when have school systems taught anything of use for practical life? We have to do our own schooling outside of the system.
Your so genius on this topic and fits to a tee.
The final narc threat was , " I can't see a way forward with you, you're impossible !"
Good job. :)
Great video!! sooo true, thank you very much.
I was so sure this narc would kill me that I started ordering Christmas and birthday gifts months in advance so that if he did decide to strangle/stab/shoot me then at least my family would know I loved them. I showed most of my friends and co-workers the screenshots of the creepy, stalkish, and abusive texts and messages he would send me so that if he did come after me they would immediately suspect he was behind it. It's been a full year now but I still lose a lot of sleep over it. I do hope the threats were mostly hot air.
I am having issues with a family member who uses violence against me and has threaten to kill me twice most recently in a physical conforntation. I am trying to get away but now he is manupulating my son's mom to control her and my 5 year old son. She refused my request to keep him away. My son's mom says that he is not going to do anything and that I am crazy and should get help. She sided with him and ignored when he punched me and threaten to kill me infront of her. I called the cops in fear of my life and they talk to them and turn the cops against the person who called for help. They wanted to take me to jail. I wrote all about it and I would love to share privately. Your video has helped me very much and I thank you!
great videos man. you make it simple
Learn the term "veiled threats" a component of passive aggression plus "empty threats", which ordinary people never do btw. Hopefully any legal threats or implied physical threats should cause you to healthily fear them and change your view of them withdraw completely contrary to all ties and protest. Irrational behaviour demands seemingly irrational response identify and admit sunk costs and flee like it is Chernobyl.
Great video...informative and (as always:) spot on!! Thank you...for ALL you're doing!! You were one of the very first sites i came to and really helped me to understand what i was dealing with here...it was a real wake up call!! I'm sorry I've not commented sooner!! I was pretty bad off for abt 6 mos..turns out it was PTSD...hmmm i wonder why ;(
Yes, they're very dangerous people! They'll destroy you if you cant/dont save yourself in time. So, thank you, thank you, thank you...you were a BIG part of my awakening!! :) Best wishes to you!!!
Your absolutely correct about Narcissists being full of hot air. I'm experiencing one now and your not exaggerating at all. She's all talk on social media and never comes through with anything, which makes me worried about her kids. :( Is there any way to talk to you in email. Thanks.
No mine is just now telling complete strangers complete lies in order to get my head kicked in.
Thank you 😢 I'm so scared.
ugh ty.. i needed this..
my sibling is either an overt narcissist or psychopath or both and that individual tried to kill their spouse on 2 occasions, 4 months apart -- i never saw that side. i saw the annoying, boundary squashing, exploitative person i went No Contact with 15 years ago -- but attempted murder and 'another' type of assault - no, i didn't see that coming --- so, yes - it can go as far as death with a narcissist
Scott - you are so right. After discovering the soon to be Xs other life, i told him we are divorcing. Constant threats of taking my beloved dogs. Makes no sense. He wants other relationships - fine - leave and dont come back.
I love your video. I am exactly in this situration. I need to go to police station, I concern my safety.
This video made me realize one of my friends is a classic narcissist
My narc always threatens w taking me to court and then does. Always follows through on his threats. Almost like he gears up for supply from me beginning w threats and finally following through.
your videos never cease to amaze!
They're most definitely capable of murder...I can never forget my near death experience with my ex narc...that fateful night when he had a knife on my face and threatened to slice it open...then he went onto suffocate me with a pillow and choked me till I ran out of breath..the worst was when he threatened to get my mother n teenage sister raped and killed!!
Absolutely sinister...I think he might very well be recruited by isis as he totally fits the bill...all his issues with society, religion, women etc..
they're the worst kind of people!
The 'Except when they become dangerous' is a big deal. I want to share that I have a parent left that I am dealing with. She is akin to a stalker/predator/ and is a Narc-psychopath. I have pretty much stopped leaving comments on any related issues because I find I am am exception to the rule and within the community I rarely hear back from anyone who has survived what I have lived through and still am living with. I have never heard any video that truly deals with the severity of this. another time when I came up against these parents I paid dearly. One day a bit late in the day they took me for an innocent swim out of the blue in the Ocean...yes for anyone wondering why did I go...because ones mind becomes scrambled when being a captor of these wicked types. You never really get what they are up to as they use fake niceness along with horrific acts that can change up in a split second...however with deductive reasoning skills this was premeditated as was many other near death events at their hands. Before it sunk in that something was terribly wrong and I felt it in my bones they had me swim abnormally far out...because they were going to proceed to drown me..when an extremely huge rogue 20 foot wave came and crashed down upon all of us. I went under and barely made it up as I was blacking out. within a few more seconds I was to lose consciousness but just made it up ( I had been pushed under and was swimming downward thinking it was upward) I realised I was going downward and turned to hopefully get up to the surface. I made it with labored breathing and found they were almost to the shore...hoping I had drowned. These people live above the law. It is exactly like in the type of movies where the victim has no known way out. I know because I was tracked down and thrown into a car and 'taken away' 9 times (as in missing for up to 6 months at a time...)as another punnishment for calling them out for the evil people they were/are. I had left home to hide and disapear and get away from them also butt was tracked down. When a person such as this one is very wealthy and gets away with anything because they have back up (dangerous relatives/paid off doctors/seedy lawyers who protect them that they are happy to pay) there is little hope and confrontations easily end up deadly...(fractured neck and other severe injuries to count in my case)my brother murdered...my father dead and within 12 hours of him being at the morgue she walks into the bedroom I am in waking me up to let me know...(with a smirk/smile on her face) that she is taking the $12,000 away he pays for my medical care every year..because it is extensive...(yes he was a Narc-Psychopath too but for god only knows he had the $ for me every year...the thought is that it was image management because his financial advisor was an old church friend and image management as they were responsible for all my injuries) ..yup as usual these types go to church to throw people off the track...anyhow she waited until the second he was dead...which is partially her fault..his death...and had the speech rehearsed. She had her vindictive triumph (read Karen Horney whom speaks of what that means in detail) She hated me since recall (I have recall from 3 years old) and she also falls under the covetous psychopath (read The Sociopath Next Door) these types have overwhelming jealously and want you ruined and they dream of killing you. It is an extreme urge that is very difficult for them to control. If you are killed they get the jackpot of supply....everyone says how sorry they are as they fake cry AND they never ever let that die EVER. My brother has been dead for 3 years...she let him die choking on blood on the floor. He said 2 months before he died that if he needed an ambulance that she would never call one...why? did he state this...because we were both locked in the house whenever we were seriously injured...even bleeding badly begging for medical help)...his fatal mistake was that he said that in front of me and my fiance and enraged her...Narcissistic injury at it's finest right...well when we left the house where they lived I hugged my brother once and walked a few feet away then had an overwhelming urge to turn back and tell him I love him forever....I held him sooo tight. I told my fiance it was the last time I would ever see my brother who was my best friend again. I just felt it. And it was the last time. He was dead within 45 days. The parent's statement when we arrived to her house after hearing he was dead was 'The carpet cleaners are coming in the morning. I hope your brother's blood has not stained and ruined my new carpet'...So let me tell you that the threats of things are very real. She has made good on too many to even state here.
I know this is the longest commentary ever by me...but I say this with a stern warning because it is what I have to give and offer for serious thought to this community. I know others that make up endless excuses for their parents. 'Oh my mom is really nice.. she just has real bad days...Oh my father loves me...he just acts this way sometimes' (and because I have spent 38 years studying every aspect of this issue I can see through what is happening) and right now I know someone in danger...however they just cannot totally believe that they are...so it is hard to watch and pushing myself on them will not help. I have tried to warn them...just like I did my brother...I told him get away while you can...He did not. lastly I am not stating that everyone will end up dead by the hands of a Narc or Narc- psychopath but you will be in for a very unpleasant ride and you may think it cannot escalate to this level...but it can....stealthly and suddenly these types can do and get away with horrific atrocities. They are soooo excellent at it too. They make everyone feel sorry for the tragedy they themselves cause. They are rarely even candidates to look into. Their image management skills are vert precise and contrived to near perfection.
I really like your video alot. It is very smart to have a lengthy disclaimer and warning that indeed these people can kill...well I know they are dangerous at all times...it dwells within them whether or not they end up acting on it to the degree in my case. I think much dedication to the subject is imperative for anyone finding themselves in bizarre and uncomfortably consuming soul stealing situations. When I say soul stealing...
I am referring to that sick inner feeling of being chipped away at bit by bit by bit until you realise you are being Siphoned step by step by step.
Thank you for caring.
So very true !
Live with a narc who threatened to break ALL my bones 10,000 different ways
They live in fantasy land...
I think you are right. Scary.
Hi Scott, what I'm concerned about, is that I first stood up for the first time to my older narcississtic sister, and then my parents who always believed her lies etc.which intuitively 7 years ago, I decided to go no contact with my whole family, as I have always been made the scapegoat, and this is before I even knew what a narcissist was, or any of the terminology. So I had a whole gang of them pointing the finger at me text book projecting, well, then, I left my covert narcissistic boyfriend a few years back and my sister joined her lies and projections with his, also a narcisstic female friend, I have 6 months ago have gone no contact, as I realised she too was stepping up the projecting. Long story short they all know each other, and I loathe that they all join together, tell 10% of the truth and all lie and make their up together. How do you rise above this? I now have some great friends, but I just think it is so darn unfair. Gillian
I feel for you; this is real ganging-up. I've been the scape-goat in my family since teenage (am now middle-aged) and it's very painful, especially at the moment, when it's coming-up to my birthday in a day or two. Now that I've figured-out that a web of lies must have been spun about me (I can't think of any other reason why the scape-goating is so severe), I feel so frustrated and upset and I find that the only thing that helps is thinking and coming-up with ideas on the subject and studying it, which is what I'm doing now, in watching this video. This particular author, "Understanding Narcissists", is better than many, as he is very concise AND accurate at the same time; this seems to calm me down. The whole situation that you, I and others are in is very unfair, but studying the subject seems to calm me down and give me some relief, which I hope it does for you.
Today my narc sis has sent me some very hurtful texts as I challenged her words about dealing with elderly parents financial matters. Her fowl projection was " I will not accept you lecturing me. ". " I find your unpleasant hostility very unhelpful".
" I saw your daughter today and she is very hurt by your rejection and uncaring unloving behaviour ". !!!!!
So true (I know I comment every video lol). Always heard "OR ELSE". But nothing ever happened. But it was so scary like you described that I couldn't just go "Oh, ok, empty threat". Eventually he stopped working without telling anyone, car was repossessed, we were evicted, no food, he wouldn't apply for assistance so we were hungry etc. I don't know if that was him delivering his threat or not. Don't think so though because I found out later all these things had happened before anyway. Still hard though.
I agree about the big exception as well. This is awful, and potentially may be a trigger for some so if so please stop reading:
My mom died when I was 11 without a clear reason. My N dad wasn't there, but I have often wondered if my N dad played a part. Guess I'll never know.
Hello! To the best of my knowledge, you don't identify yourself by name. I find your videos to be incredibly informative and helpful. I was wondering what your education background is? It doesn't really matter but you seem lvery educated. Thank you so much! Deborah
Spot on
Your awesome !!
Chris watts case is a great example of this.
Absolutely ....THIS GOES ON
Interesting. I've read through some of the comments which seem to disagree with the claim in the video that most of the time, narcissists will not follow through on their threats. I wonder if there are different types of narcissists, because the one I knew was very much like what was described in the video. He would occasionally become dangerous and would do explosively violent things in front of me, though most of the time he really WAS just full of hot air. Over time I was able to put up boundaries with him so he was no longer able to use threats to control me, but he was still like a viper biting at my ankles. It realized it was not productive to have any sort of interaction. And I do believe he is capable of murder, so I went no contact. Keeping him in my life was kind of like letting a wasp fly around the room. You probably won't get stung but if you step on it accidentally or do just the wrong thing at the wrong time, you certainly will be. And even if you aren't, the dang thing never stops buzzing. They are like predatory insects or mass consumers, such as the locust.
Great analogy
Excellent analysis. I was married to a narc for over 28 years-He left 5 years ago- I didn't get divorce b/c I was still hoping that maybe things would work out (silly me). In the last 5 years I have been able to analyze the situation from a distance, and have concluded I was with a Covert narc, and there really is no hope. All the things I didn't know about are coming out now, and I realize how dangerous the situation actually was. So pretty much no contact for 8 months-Feel much better-I hear through the grapevine he plans to commit suicide in the spring on his motorcycle. What a waste of a perfectly good motorcycle! My feeling is that when they begin to actively threaten suicide in some form or other is when they become really dangerous and to steer clear-maybe call the professionals?
You are correct Scott,, You are safe until your not and it can look you in the face and the only emotion you have is O-Shit, Its too late. keep protection.
Gavin de Becker-"The Gift of Fear" and his useful online tool-which is free: "The MOSAIC THREAT ASSESSMENT TEST"
It true in what he saying. I have experience 3 rage attacks, they can take a person by the throat and feel no empathy at all just pure rage and Hate. These attacks of very dangerous because I'm narcissistic doesn't really know what he's doing and he doesn't see the person that he's attacking all he wants to do is destroy the thing that he hates in he past life. Dietz Bridge are very scary for a person to experience and if you're lucky to get out it's a blessing.
Sobering.
What idiot would threaten to kill? Doesn’t a killer just kill? Like why would they tell you
The man I was with his malignant narc mom threatened that she would have nothing to to do with him EVER again if he didn't leave me. He left me. discarded with no love at all after 5 years. He is way too scared to stand up to her. He has to appease her and she is 47 years old. he is in total denial of how serious her control over him is. I don't even think he thinks it's at all abnormal, she rules his sexuality and ruins his ability to feel. Incredible.
I greatly offended my ex-narcissist when calling her out on some things, recently, and she became enraged. She threatened to disclose a faceless picture of my penis which she has one her phone to my employer in order to "get me fired." She was drunk when she said this and she is unlikely to follow through but, luckily, it is a felony in Washington, D.C. to distribute such images without consent and with the "intent to harm." I hope she doesn't do it but I might enjoy having her prosecuted and suing her civilly, subsequently, should she do so.
I agree with u. The narc I was with loved violence, and ruining ppl's lives. A 6'4" son of a biker who controlled everyone if there was a person that stood up for themselves. He wouldn't take that person down, he would take down the weakest person that person knew. Needless to say yes domestic violence. I'm no contact and he is still in jail. I will have to take the stand at some point. I don't know its so fucked up.
I've been told he will hold my head underwater until I can't breathe. or hold a pillow over my face until I can't breathe. because I have a mind of my own. sadface.
yep.
Oh my narc threatens to kill me and my family
You are wrong ! They are especially dangerous when you end it or cross them. Mine assult me, took my phone, car keys and threatened to kill me. He hit me in the head held me down so hard 2.5 months later I still have marks on my arms. He said I betrayed him by ending it. I was screaming so loud I think that is what made him stop. Of course when I got up he punched in the back. And this was planned he also left my car door open all night, so I couldn't leave. I wanted to end it way before , but was scared to. He controlled everything. Get police help to end it was a dangerous narc.
I just got a dm from him.
I guess me telling him to f**k right off isn't going over well.
He somehow found my adult son online.
Now he's threatening to send him nude pics and videos I was STUPID enough to give him.
He also sent a screen shot of my Instagram followers.
He's about to destroy my life isn't he????
Now what!!!!????!!!!
I've always felt narcs have the capacity to kill. There were numerous times in my childhood where I felt afraid for my life. I couldn't conceptualize it at the time but there was a wrath the narc radiated that told me..they would take it there. They being my mother. This isn't past tense. I believe they will and can always take it there. When a person is that hollow, bitter, envious, and just overall miserable as fuck, anything can make them go off to an extreme. They''re so fragile.
My X got the services involved (as her enablers) and gave them her twisted version of events as her reasons for doing so. of course then they gave her an ultimatum or she would loose our kids also cos she was with an apparent abuser. Of course then she could blame them for the eventual conclusion. She of course since blamed the services for making her do it!!!! Talk about high end narcissism!
My narc wife HAS threatened to kill me. Twice. In two different ways.
I believe narcs are on a spectrum.. but when they are outed by their supply, and as control begins to be lost, they panic and rage interspersed with sheer desperation.
In my case the cycle of love bombing vs rage has become far more erratic and frequent.
It's a tough situation to deal with. I finally have awareness.. still taking steps to save myself.
Yep, while it’s possible that they won’t carry through with anything, which is why I’m only low contact with my mother, in the hope that I might still inherit something, I won’t bet on it.
Plus, a few weeks ago, my mother called and asked a couple of times about whether I had life insurance. Although I do, I told her I didn’t. Why the question? I know that she seemed to be confusing life insurance with medical insurance but, because I no longer know who I’m talking to, she’s best kept in the dark. Since the dynamic is what it has become and she feels that my literal breathing should go towards efforts of helping her and my sister, it’s possible she’s trying to find out if there might be any benefit to something “happening to me”. She’d be quite disappointed to know that she and my sister had been moved to a lower percentage, beneath my brother, in my policy and that when I have the opportunity to adjust my policy this Fall, she and my sister will be completely removed.
Also, I knew a guy who murdered his ex-wife with the help of his daughter. As far as what the DA said, there was no big whoop during his statement to the family, during his sentencing and the DA called him a narcissist, as well.
from watching your video ive discovered it was me that forced him to leave,when i found out he was cheating i told him not to come home,so he ran off with the woman. i dont beleive he would have if i had let him come home and tell me some story to cover himself.
In your mind you should say thank you that was a blessing
Thinking, it might be very possible for a Narcissist's to talk someone else into killing someone for them. Then, as always, they can say they had no idea, the killer was crazy and here again we see their inability to accept responsibility. Just a thought. I do agree with you on many points you make and I do think they can kill and probably have. I mean, these types of people have no remorse. They are, however very concerned about what other people think of them. If they felt they would never get caught, it's my opinion that they wouldn't hesitate, to kill, if it meant getting what they want and feel they deserve and they always feel they are entitled to whatever they want. Especially money.
I would say some of them are all hot air. In fact I know they are, they're too lazy. It's just a way of trying to "look in control". I think the ones who are narc /pyscopath are the killer's. The two I knew were both just all talk, big tough guy's.
Most of them don't actually Wana go to jail - bit hard to get the right supply there. However always assume the worse to err on the side of caution.
What if they threaten to get you fired, wreck your reputation and break into your house?
I'm scared, I've just had an argument with his friend who when I was accused of stashing rizzlas after the narcissist I live with has stopped putting them in the draw where they usually are I get attacked as if I'm causing the trouble and his friend makes out I'm a bad person cos my family won't put me and the animals up,like it's my fault so he's joining in the bullying basically, now I'm fretting what they're going to do cos he's a narcissist as well.
I'm been married to a narcissist for 25 yrs. I put on the divorce on him have just two more papers to sign one we both have to do. feel he looking for another supplyer like you say.he was all for the divorce.. now he saying that he doesn't want the divorce. I think he thought he could go back to ex now she had move on with someone else.he wants me to stop the divorce process. I know in my heart that he not going to change.I'm to the point I can't live the way I'm living anymore kind of scary for me mean a new life 47 yrs old don't want to go back in the bubble. But had five children with this man.