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Narcissists are Paranoid and Their Paranoia Reveals Deep Inner-Conflict
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- Опубліковано 18 гру 2015
- Narcissists have a darn good reason to be paranoid.
Check out my book "The 16 Signs of a Narcissist" by clicking below right now:
understandingnarcissists.com/...
If you're with a narcissist you're constantly being bullied on a subliminal level.
Billy Bob bullying is good
Yes, somekind of internal thing going on.
Narcissists nauseate me and I don't want to be any where near them or talk to them.
I agree they are like children who never developed into mature adults.
So true!
It IS very strange. It's negative energy. I can feel it the moment I'm around them. It has kind of a prickly feel to it. It's ALWAYS turned on. It's a constant flow of negative energy that gets up under you and bores right through you. Excellent vid. Thank you!
+25centsworth It's definitely not a relaxing energy. I always feel uncomfortable around it and sometimes certain body parts even start to ache.
+Breakthrough Moment or itch..or break out in pimples & hemrroids. Yes. Just from conversation! wtf? It goes deep. I think God was telling me GET AWAY FROM THIS VAMPIRE NOW
+GarLyndia Ford Haha!! Same here! These people exude such a piercingly penetrating, negative energy that it literally raises the hair on the back of my neck, LOL! But, seriously some body part will immediately start aching the moment they storm into the room or I'll feel a sharp pang of pain shooting through my body...ugh! And you're right even when they talk it hurts! Ouch!
GarLyndia Ford toxic in every way
Hate themselves and aren't mature enough to admit it. That's key.
+Randy Andretti
and then they try to make us hate ourselves ...
+Pine Trees - it's horrifying to watch too!
Yo, don't make that kind of judgement so lightly. Everyone is brought up differently and they are a product of their environment as well as some influence from genes.
F8Sealed
That's not an excuse for lying, cheatin, stealing. Sorry, mate.
It's not an excuse to do it, but that doesn't mean they will choose to lie, cheat or steal. That is just a stereotype. That is what I find wrong with that statement. If you really think that then you have something wrong with you.
That emotional dis -ease is real. You'll never understand it unless you've experienced it.
Bonnie Glenn ......WORDZ 😎
List of characteristics of narcissists (like most personality disorders, there is a spectrum from mild to severe): Narcissists: Paranoid; Never or never genuinely apologize; Are never wrong (always someone else's fault); Dislike the holidays; Dislike children; Dislike happy people; Don't have friends; Are very petty; Childish emotional reaction to things; Believe that the universe and everyone in it does not give them the respect they deserve; Are overly critical of others and the world; Are intolerant of the emotions of others; They are passive aggressive.
You nailed it, Susan! In my case, especially hates the holidays and made mine hell, all the while whining about how holidays always made him sad. Boo freakin' hoo.
this is one of the most revealing, insightful videos on the disorder. The fact that they hate themselves and therefore become bullies...
Sick of hearing that narcissists were victims. Poor them. The woman who adopted me tormented, controlled and manipulated her own mother. Her behavior is not reflected in either of her parents. When her mother went into the nursing home, and she lost that form of control, she began to starve, gaslight and otherwise torment me and stressed me to the level where I required an emergency room visit. She is unrelenting in her her psychological games because she feeds off the negative emotions she causes in others. And is perfectly aware of what she is doing. If I ignore it or do not comply, she retaliates. I am also autistic and have had several shutdowns over the past few weeks because of this thing masquerading as a human. She physically abused me and my foster sister. And I don't believe she was raised to be this way. If something caused it along the way, these are people who were mentally sick to begin with. No excuses for narcissists. They are as bad in their own way as psychopaths, sociopaths and serial killers.
In psychoanalytic theory, paranoia is a projection of guilt ---> a Narc's fear of getting caught at what they've done wrong.
P. Schouten yes I agree with your statement. The paranoia does seem to reflect directly off of the guilt that they have about the things they've done in the past and the things they continue to do. They have admitted to me that their fear is being exposed for these things rather than any type of conscience Ness or remorse.
Im not afraid of getting caught doing something wrong. Most do something wrong.
But if I do nothing at all, have I succeeded?
Yes & what I've seen is a deep rooted victim mentality which they continue to identify with as they go about in their malignant behavior to victimize others & they never want to admit the truth because then they have to face they are no longer victims but quite the opposite, they are abusers. When one refuses to face the truth they can never be free & will go on in life as cowards.
Exactly it’s a fear of making a conscience choice they made
Yes there is a contradiction to their belief that everyone is like them. Because they can detect other narcissists and are completely move away from them. I've always noticed how they recognize each other and ignore them without paying the slightest attention. So those who ARE like them, they don't have anything to do with. They know deep down that they are different and something is wrong with them
They may move away from other narcs at times OR I've seen them totally team up with other narcs to scam others. They seem to sort of respect other narcs even if they move away.
Oh yes. So sad how many of us are living in denial. It's almost like we're living in a predatory / parasitic environment. Tragic.
Now this explains why it felt like my narc could read my mind, while I would plot in my mind on how am I gonna leave her for the 4th and final time, she was all along thinking that everyone is out to get everyone. So in her mind I was just as fucked as she is, just because I no longer wanted to be cheated on, gaslighted, devalued, idealized and so on. While all along I'm trying to hold on for dear life, and contemplating suicide, she would go about her business as if I'm narcking her. I cannot believe that I still have my sanity let alone my life. God is truly good!
I've always said "they suck the air out of the room they're in!" There's nothing left for anyone else... talk about "can't breathe!" It's beyond stifling!!
Definitely! I feel sorry for what my ex Narc could of been. Absolutely gorgeous, beautiful body, tall, smart, cute smile... Now add delusional, childish, drama filled, no conversation. .etc. Sad...
they justifie there behaviour to themselves as if they are right to do these things to people...but sometimes there just doing it to create a negative reaction in someone
So true.
You are so easy to watch. I enjoy listening to you. You don't trigger me like many other UA-camrs do. Anger and rage spills out all over some videos and causes me to turn them off. Your insights are original and insightful as well as totally refreshing.
you are a narc ? as a narc myself i don't get pissed of with his videos lol...
KiloOne Shady why do you watch videos about narcissists and how do you feel when you do?
They are embarrassed after they show paranoia. They want to give u a "talk" about it like a script re-write. Like " this never happened" type deal. Both times I saw extreme paranoia in a narc it has enemies on its tail. Employees that were mistreated. Bogus deals gone bad
3 of the 4 narcs that I've known were from very loving homes. They were not abused. Their parents were not cold or cruel. There was something very different about them early on in life.
+MB Stephens So they were spoiled and being favored too much.
+Elisabeth1903 No, they really weren't. One was my dad, and I knew his family my entire life, and their stories. Another was born to a family with 8 siblings. They all had to work for what they had. Another was the 4th born in a sibling group of 6. I knew them from childhood ~ never abused, never spoiled
+Elisabeth1903 Science tells us that some people seem to be simply born with a different kind of brain. Not everything is easily explained away.
+ MB Stephens. - Satan wasn't abused, but I would say he is abusive. 😈😬
+MB Stephens I actually do have sort of a "theory" on what that difference might be. Some people are born with brains that generate "undeniable memories".
Like, everyone who has been e.g. in a motorcycle accident will tell you that there are basically two different types of accidents: The ones you don't remember, and the ones that make you quit motorcycling forever.
I believe that we, who did *not* end up as narcissists (even if we were abused) sometimes inadvertently "push the record button" during the most unflattering moments of our own behavior.
People who end up as narcissists (whether they were abused or not) are probably not born like that. They never actually observe their own behavior, especially in the moments when their behavior is horrific. So their brain doesn't provide them with the natural corrective of *positive (=non-toxic) shame* which healthy (or _healing_) people like us experience.
YES! The narcissist in my life is the most paranoid person on the planet. At first he is cool, calm, and collected and accuses me of being paranoid and "overreacting," then freaks the f*ck out when his latest little scheme doesn't go as planned. He has a deep, DEEP insecurity that he hides very well, unless he is rambling on and on about government and corruption and how everyone is out to get him. He does inherently hate himself, but that only comes out in extreme situations. I LOVE this video series!
Katie Maniaci I had the same experience with mine as well.
An ex narc I lived with was super paranoid - lots of mind games - doors randomly woud also be disabled - light bulbs unscrewed sometimes - never knew if the garadge door was "disabled" - he would say he needed to move my car - just to go though my car phone log. He had complete control of my environment - at the same time he would disappear or suddenly appear to catch me off guard. I caught him hiding outside after he pretended to leave once- trying to listen to me on a phone call. I think they enjoy spying - I found binoculars in his work bag a few times - its crazy. So glad it is in the past - thanks for these videos!
Their Past will try to catch up to them...
Carlos Paradox Oh yes it does! Some of their paranoia is made up in their heads and some is righteously so because of bad, dangerous situations they created themselves and have many people out to get them.
Has anyone experienced the Narc's use of mimicry? The individual I worked with took mimicry to the extreme.
It was almost as if he was attempting to 'steal' my identity. He began to dress like me, mimic some of my mannerisms and
even got a similar haircut. He wanted me to actually witness this behavior. Sometimes I think he lacked a genuine identity
or individualism.
Yes - most definitely & it's so strange to watch them in this behavior & they do it at times in front of the person they stole it from and blatantly act as if it's their true identity. It's actually stealing in my opinion.
@@karriphillips5090 happened to my narcs
They steal your ideas , use them to be smart or something
I was loving guy wants to help and build a family and supports everyone as i read alot
But sadly they uses that
Damn , this is fucked up .. my whole siblings do that even with names .. if your son is mark .. they will name theirs mark
They do get a son at the same time you do .. they are evil .. they know your good and they want to destroy that ..there is no explanation
Self love and self acceptance is impossible because there is no true self there. It's been neglected their whole life and has never had a chance to grow. That's why no matter what they get in life and how much success they have (some narcissists achieve a lot of success and gain a lot in their lives) they are never happy, because true happiness comes from self knowledge and self acceptance. They are bottomless pits that never get filled. It can be so hard to let these people go because we see them as people, not as objects or pieces of trash which is exactly how they see us.
like a snake or a crocodile they will lay in wait for the right time to strike! everything is fine until the opportunity arrives for them to strike! then they will go into denial and start the process over again! it is very frustrating and annoying!
I have really learned a lot from viewing your videos. My mother and unfortunately, some of my boyfriends were narcissists. Their behavior never made sense to me. By learning about their behavior, I feel helps to deal with them much better.
Watch Lisa a romanovs videos. You will be able to break the pattern. All these best!
In relistening to this, it not only describes my ex-narc, but also my father... OMG! There's a nasty revelation.
Adaptation to their environment. You are 100% correct
They are paranoid because they know they are evil and trying to hurt others and are afraid someone will do the same to them. They really can't believe they get away with all they do.
Spot on!! With every word, I was nodding in agreement..
oh yes my ex was so paranoid especially at the end. wow your so right on.
They do hate themselves. They are so bitter, nasty and negative and turn that inner hatred outward towards those closest to them. My Narcissist mother and ex were so much alike you would swear they were the same person. Before I understood what they were I used to believe they both had depression. Both were extremely negative, lazy, seemed to have no emotions, no goals and used sleeping and drugs as a form of escapism. I am now wondering if they had depression and narcissism. Are all narcissists depressed ? It seems the ones I have known are. I have spent the last two years studying this issue extensively and have never seen this touched on.
Bitter and nasty. True. They bring everyone down. They're judgemental. They think they're always right and have an opinion on every one else. But hate it if you have an opinion about them. They are hypocrites.
Yea, it felt like the two narcissists in my life were the same person too. I can't believe I chose the same type of person to live with, that was just like my childhood tormentor
+grand454 Yes that's very common thing that happens. Many go from a familial life of being abused to marrying an abuser. It crushes self esteem and confidence. Which then lays you bare to further abuse in all sorts of situations and circumstances.
+JD ashcroft Exactly!
+Debbie Grant - usually negative, hypocritical, and very negative, but would NEVER admit it
I am glad you have brought up the very sad condition of a narcissistic life style for the narcissist. I have been watching/listening to several UA-cam channels which focus on narcissism and I get exhausted from all the negative energy projected. I understand there is a very real need to vent and describe their experiences but I feel part of moving on is to compassionately acknowledge the humanity of someone suffering from NPD and their utter and inescapable hell. This acknowledgement does not diminish any experience or indicate weakness but, to me, transmutes the energy of the experience toward developing a healthy and positive life style. It cannot go without saying that, of course, everyone's experience and rate of recovery is different but going no contact is just the beginning of the healing. One must also lay down the months and years of venom which has accumulated in their soul.
To ask some survivors of narcissistic abuse to empathize with their abuser is the same as asking a gazelle to empathize with the lion making it their prey.
They were taught to hate themselves because they were hated from the beginning of their lives.
& this is very sad to me for them in all they are truly suffering. It is just so shocking that they will not receive help or answers in order to move forward to have a real meaningful life. They choose to reject real love and real relations from those who have unconditional love for them. It really is so disheartening to me. They have to live
like they are right at all costs even to themselves.
@@karriphillips5090 yup and the reason you feel sorry for them is why they will take advantage of you. Don’t feel sad for them stay away from them
Wow! You are describing my husband spot on, soon to be ex. He might actually be one of the scarier ones too. Possibly dangerous. I felt something was off about him. It seems to have gotten a lot worse. I cannot believe how much your videos are sounding like him and what our circumstances were. He is a pathological liar and has been gaslighting me our entire marriage. I started catching on a couple years ago and began exploring NPD along with other disorders/disturbed characters. He is definitely something not normal and evil.
Much has been said about the spiritual aspect of narcissistic abuse and narcissist relationships. Without getting into all that- the aura, etc. as you just touched on, any discussion would still only be scratching the superficial surface of the iceberg. The reason narcissistic abuse Is so uniquely intense is that it is spiritual abuse to its very core which is why it is undetectable to many on the surface. The self love and self compassion is also a huge part of this. The reason why narcissists are the way they are is because of an intense self hatred which they project out in many forms to the world and the reason why victims are attracted to them is that same lack of self love exists in victims because they are looking for someone outside themselves to validate them and love them. This is the very premise of narcissistic supply- getting spiritual energy and love outside of themselves. Victims are doing the same thing in that we are looking for that perfect love outside of ourselves
Self love is the only way to consistently generate and receive positive spiritual energy for the self. Until we all realize that at the core of our being, we will always attract another narcissist to fill in that gaping hole that our original abuse created. Only we can fill that hole. Narcissists come into our lives to teach us two things: 1) self compassion/love and 2) boundaries
+Leila Mal
Amen
Also to reveal demons from our families of origin other associates bosses coworkers etc...missing puzzle pieces
Spot on!
@@theself5738 Well said! Peace
The last time i talked to the narc he was trying to get away with his bad behaviour, part of what he said was denying that he ever tried to push me down to feel superior and he never went and talked smack about me to ppl. I never accused him of this, i never have in the past but i know he does both those things and more. He was trying to pre-emptively deny them. So him saying that without my input confirmed to me that he really did those things cuz thats what he was afraid of being accused of.
This actually makes so much sense! You wonder why they bring up unrelated things during arguments when they're trying to gaslight you. This explains why.
Like when they say they are leaving. Close the door like they are leaving but don’t. Others don’t see them and they are listening to see if someone is talking about them.
05:17 gettin' one over on somebody else.
Thats a big deal to them.
THATS WINNING!
THATS WINNING IN LIFE.
I often wondered if mine was borderline schizophrenic he was so paranoid. He thought everyone was watching him, he thought that highly of himself. Mine wont even tell me where he is living now because he thinks I am going to kill him. I have never once threatened him in any way. He on the other hand has an arsenal of loaded guns and carries one everywhere he goes. At first I was impressed, I thought he was manly like a Clint Eastwood type, but I later realized he was paranoid and a huge coward.
I have heard a narc. ( while she was having trouble with something she was trying to do) say ALOUD: 'I Hate Myself'. I don't think she realized she had said it out loud at the time, until a moment later when she looked up and saw me looking amazed at her. She went kind of white. I think it really slipped but shows you what she actually thought of herself.
+Amy Sz
Te he. When I said to my covert narcissist lover "I don't even know whether that person I loved ever existed", he flinched.
And I didn't know anything about narcissism at that time, mind you. ;-)
My ex would tell me that he hated himself when he was drunk. He would actually tell me "I hate myself that's why I am the way I am". And at the time I felt bad for him. I would tell him all the reasons why he should love himself and I would hug him and comfort him and explain how I don't understand why he doesn't see the good inside him. But now that I know what he really is I know exactly why he would say that he hated himself.
You live with the abusive and you soon get a deep distrust of people. Have you read about Mobbing and abuse, it seems according to clinic findings is that your classic bully does not only take away your sandwich, the worst part of being with those who use others to an unreasonable degree is that they blacken their victimes till these have no friends.
I find this to be so true in the life of one whom I love dearly. I feel such pity and compassion for them because I know that they hate themselves and have no respect. He is emotionally detached from others and seems to have no feeling whatsoever for others.
It shows that the Narcissist is aware of his actions.
They may be aware what they did to the Victim. Could be experiencing GUILT.
Carlos Paradox They are very aware. They calculate everything they do. Its how they manipulte and control people and situations.
Yes, I also came to the conclusion that they hate themselves. It makes sense why they can't grasp the concept that other people can love them, and why they are always so suspicious of other people's intentions. If they are not capable of loving themselves, then how can they believe someone else would love them? They are taught to believe they are worthless because that is how the parent treats them. ESP when the parents confuse love with abuse, it will really screw that kid up and what their idea of love is, and their perception of self worth, for the rest of their lives unless they intentionally address these issues. . Unfortunately, The nature of this beast is denial, so the disorder perpetuates itself.
Narcissists do hate themselves. It is one of the saddest aspects of their condition.
I don't know why I keep finding myself surrounded with people living in mental adolescence. There is no stability, people are at mercy to every little emotion, and they fill these voids in ways that will eventually destroy all the simplistic beauty left in the world. I don't truly understand the point in keeping company with anyone unless it's in a supportive role and sometimes that may mean doing the unpopular thing.
It must be an awful existence. You'd really feel sorry for them if they weren't so vile to be around 🙄
I don't think all narcs were victims. The two closest to me "mother" and ex "wife" neither of which were victimized at all. What they were (are) is spoiled rotten *******es.
Spoon feeding a child sugar until they're diabetic is abuse.
Narcmare Aware most are victims of society. We need to kill those who make society worse.
Smoothering and spoiling a child is also a form of abuse. And can create a narc.
Yes I agree my mother in law created a monster catered to him put him on a pedestal the golden child out of a very big family. When I meet her she said I was taking her baby away. Really he was 28 years old.
Also covert narcs can't take in compliments.. or at least in my experience most of the time I noticed they couldn't energetically believe the compliment I would give them when I was in the relationship.. And I found that odd because they seemed so confident in themselves.
.My gosh, all your videos are excellent and greatly contribute to my need to understand this behavior more comprehensively. This one in particular made me cry. It highlights for me just how damaged the narcissist really is. Such gross distortions, projections, sadism and the sickly undercurrent of gloom and doom. To experience this, is for me mind numbing. Thank you Scott.
are you sure there's nothing I can do to help these folks? I really hate that someone suffered so much trauma in their childhood enough to cause this significance in adulthood. I have been burned several times by different narcs and any time it just strikes me that they may have been victims children I really really with I could be able to just help them see just how great they can be if only they surrender narcissism. 😢😭
Does the devil hate himself? Many narcissists had idyllic childhoods. Even if they didn't, then wouldn't almost everyone be a narcissist? Narcissists choose their life, like anyone else. They chose a very dark path very young in life, although that is a hard thought for nice people to understand. Hatred of oneself stems from remorse, of which they have none. They do not hate themselves, they are in love with themselves, which is what the word narcissist means.
This is the first video about narcissism that describes my ex perfectly. Thank you for addressing WHY the narcissist became who they are. I agree with your assertions. (First time I have subscribed on youtube, as well. Woot woot!)
As crazy as this sounds, if you replaced the word "narcissist" with "reptilian" nothing changes, even gets creepier with terms such as "supply".
How very true!! My ex used to fill in the Sunday crossword with me. I let him do the writing. Every one of his "small letter-i's" was so tiny...in some cases, the dot was bigger than the bloody letter !! That was his TRUE opinion of himself, despite bravado. Good vid.x
Oh, now I understand! My spouse attacks me very often, that I think very negative of him. although I do not. Of coarse "I have to" defend myself, what is the aim of the whole action of him! OMG. I will agree with him. Until that big DAY.
Thank you!
Your ability to explain, give examples, and dig down to the underlying layers that are operating within the "Hardwired" system of the Narcissistic personality is above and beyond anything else I have watched thus far. Please keep the videos coming.
You're perfect. Yeah. Those are things I feel, too. Yes. And, you aren't "soft" on them -- I think you're human. I love you for it. I think you're beautiful.
You coverered so many different angles in this video of behaviours that I have seen played out so many times...Awesome job. I had so much Deja-vu of past situations through the way you described everything. Really helps to reassure me that that was actually what was happening, and not doubt my own perception.
Just read this - another interesting angle to narcissist paranoia:
"The narcissist is hungry for 'narcissistic supply'. Even his paranoia is a 'grandiose' one. Through it, he proves to himself that he is sufficiently important, interesting, and enough of a threat to be threatened back, to have people conspire and worry over him, in other words: to be the subject of incessant attention. This narcissistic supply needs constant feeding. He sees enemies everywhere (mainly in his mind) and has delusions of grandeur. He continually tries to sound important; and important men deserve important enemies. The narcissist believes he has much greater power than he really possesses. Such 'power' would look misplaced and abnormal without opponents. The victories that the narcissist scores over his (mostly imagined) enemies serve to emphasize his superiority."
Source: www.winning-teams.com/
+25centsworth
Yes, absolutely. One of the best explanations for co-dependency I have found so far, is by a narc on psychforum. An aware one of course. (This was to convince a person with borderline personality disorder to let go of her narc and tend to her own mental health).
He maintained that narcs "have a huge paralyzing unconscious fear of being inadequate (not being good enough). So they will fight with extreme measures to make that fear stay submerged."
While people who feel worthless are more prone to be drawn into relationships with narcs. And that function like this:
"The reason you 'love' him, or are addicted to him is he makes your 'I'm worthless' fear disappear for a while he has you wrapped up in his false reality. Anything that removes the misery/pain/discomfort of that fear even sporadically becomes very addictive. That is why BPD women hold so tight to their SOs. You help him fend off his inadequacy fear when you are with him."
The good news is: It's possible to overcome it. For both. Though for the narc it's unlikely to be at a point where he/she wants to.
I thought, his advice was spot on
As a child of a narcissist I struggle with low self worth, although I know it's completely irrational.
I actually think I was trained to feel worthless, and I excelled at it. I guess, it pleased my father because (this is from the article cited in my original comment):
"Another way that people respond to feeling inferior is to develop a superiority complex. This involves covering up their feeling of inferiority by pretending to be superior. If you feel small, one way to feel big is to make others feel smaller! Bullies operate this way. Other examples are those that put others down for their gender, race, ethnic origins, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, weight, height, etc."
It's eerie because my faterh actually became a racist, after all the scapegoats had left. And my father is and has always been, even as a child, a bully.
I'm going to conclude with something more cheerful, again a quote by that narc:
"Train your brain into deleting the “I am worthless” fear. You are not worthless, no-one is. Past abuse/neglect robbed you of a feeling of inner worth. This needs to be rebuilt. Takes time but it is achievable and many have been successful from going from where you are to healthy & happy.
Once you are healthy and happy if you want a boy-friend a good guy will come along."
+25centsworth Yep, my first reaction was to think, I would be paranoid if I treated people that badly - but then I'm thinking like a non-disordered person. A narc would avoid such insight. Glad, you liked the quote, too.
connectingTheDots This is spot on! Perfect!
I have read so many books on narcissim starting fromBella Grunberg,surviving this kind of abuse really puts us on another level,i must admit you are the number one expert in my Hamble opinion,your knowledge expertise on the subjects is astonishing, how do you come to such a accurate conclusion on every topic to pick.thank you.
I witnessed fights and arguments between my narc mom and her boyfriends/husbands. She could call them any name in the book. Oh but watch out if one of them called her something back--the fight was on. She tried to make it so she could dish awful behavior out and yet protect herself from receiving the same bad behavior. We kids knew better than to return the name calling, but not so for her peers. However she finally found one that would sit there and take her meanness -- they were married for 25-30 years. I think he was some kind of saint.
yes yes yes all true I was codependent all my life, not now I'm glad to say. I was sucked in in the beginning the gentleman NOT!!!!!!!!
The word Hostile comes to mind.
Just my own personal opinion... I think they are demons incarnated into the flesh
So far & also quite recently in my life I have somehow attracted 2 very distinct Narcassistic women. How? Im not really sure other than my recent desire to help others on an emotional basis. I have recently (about 2-3 yrs. ago) converted to Christianity & this seems to be the magnet to all of this. Im very upset, hurt & angry to the point if seeking Therapy. My 1st therapy app. is this coming Wednesday.
They take the bible litterally. "do unto others....." They distrust others and see them as faulty. As they Think others Think the same they fell the same vibes from others as they send out themselves.
Fantastic videos mate. Thanks for sharing your great insights.
youre great to do this youtube work. thank you so much.
yep, I said this in comments under another vid, but yet they think they're above you at the same time they are doing what they do, and projecting it onto you.....there's one big contradiction. I don't see that as any part of intelligence, nor is it sexy, let's be honest.
Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean they're not after you.
I am quite sure it is a bit of a stubborn character who made a choice to blame. My narc parents tried again and again to make me hate them as a toddler, and I made a choice to forgive them in front of them. I remember it. I really meant it. I meant it because I saw their good side and they hadn't been looked after. I made a choice that I was happy to go without. They couldn't believe it and my narc brother and they chose blame as a safer option. They hold on to this false hope their parent will come back and make everything all right, but then act proud like they don't want that. That's the stupid, shallow truth of it.
My mother-in-law was a malignant narc. Glad she's dead. About ten years before she died I told my wife that I was sick and tired if her behavior and that I wasn't going to be her pin cushion any more. I told my wife that her mother so wanted to hit me with narc comments, etc., that it almost seemed like her physiology depended on it. It so happened that everyone's birthday fell between Sept. and Dec. After she got her digs in during either the birthday get togethers or the holidays, she actually seemed to calm down and act reasonable for a time. She had a pattern. Jan. thru May she was calm and more reasonable. June thru Sept. she started acting irritated and I could tell she was gathering info for an attack later that year from the questions she was asking my wife. From Sept. thru Dec. she would be on the attack and her flying monkey golden boy son would also. So one year I said that I was not going to anything and warned my wife her mother was probably going to get sick once she figured out I was going to be a permanent no-show because it almost seemed like my mother-in-law's very well being revolved around getting those digs in. I warned my wife repeatedly her mother would get sick over it. Just before Christmas she ended up in the hospital and lost 30 pounds. She was in failing health for ten years before finally dying. The Christmas before she died I did go to Christmas dinner at her house. I was ready for her and could tell from questions she asked my wife what she was going to try and pull. Long story short is it backfired and she died less than a year later just before Christmas!
Russell Sova interesting my ex narc seemed to have a pattern of starting up real bad in march through till the end of summer. I think now it was a summer thing, he might have been getting more supply in the summer months from elsewhere. Was more desperate to keep me during winter especially for xmas. Makes me think now, his other supplies don't want him at xmas. Vile people
You are a genius in understanding narcissists, you are the only two people whom I know have come close knowledge about narcissism and behind the scene.
Mine was raised by a father who was a tortured POW during the cold war era. I knew the man who was regarded by everyone in the family as this loving, awesome man to be revered. However, as I observed him, he came across as someone who really only was interested in himself and his own interests and sharing them with everyone every time he sees them. From first contact on every visit he took charge of every conversation that was all about him and his agenda which often seemed preplanned. When he was done, it was done. Seemingly in a playful way he would act like there was something wrong with you if your life didn't reflect his preferences, but that isn't actually playful or kind is it? I have often wondered if this tortured soul was actually a very abusive parent. If he was, it is a best kept secret amongst all the children. There seems to be an unwritten rule in the family not to ever acknowledge any fault or defect in any of them, but to rather excuse away every thing and dismiss the damage that it inflicts on others.
they are 5 year olds with no sense of humor-- BORING!
Old Boyfriend from 25 years ago-- example #1 still has to have women give him what he wants, when and how he wants it in order for him to be happy. He is far too busy to deal with dating or anything like that. Women must be on call and arrive on time properly dressed. While HE Can't vary his clothing or his hairstyle in any way and HE. also never change his style or manner and drive the same kind of vehicle and live in the same house with the exact same furniture even though he has done all of this for over 40 years.He also cannot consider changing anything in any manner because that is simply a waste of his time but YOU on the other hand must be able to drop everything for him, change everything for him and be happy to do so, Because he knows best for the good of all. ALSO HE Can't deal with cutting his own meat. That is women's work,,,
"You're breaking up with me?!"
"There's nothing beneth the surface."
My mother said that to me.
Thank you, Scott ...
6:40 + "if you were actually a narcissist it wouldn't work" lol LOL another genius fact Scott!! "they are people of the opposite" yes they agree disagree *WITH THEMSELVES* by lying yes they "hate themselves" "being petty""people dont cooperate they just need to get something and they assume everybody is like them because that would mean you are like them which you're not and they treat you like you are like them" yes
thank you very much, you are the best.
Very good video! Totally agree and this makes a lot of sense!
Aaahhh.... I SENSED this in the last one and a few others, and I had no idea it was a narcissist thing until this video. Omg thanks so much.
You hit the nail on the head!
This seems to be very true...thanks for sharing your analysis!
As convoluted as your explanations are... it makes perfect sense to me... I felt all this but had no way to verbalize the nonsense... thank you. xoxo xoxo
Good video, thanks x
THANKYOU YOUR VIDEOS ARE AWSOME!!!!
Best keeping my cool. Not jumping ahead of time.. thanks...
Another accurate description!
Excellent insight
Very good video! Thanks!
yeah mine turns people against me that otherwise I might be on good terms with them. I feel I have to keep speaking up and saying if you want to know son thing about me...just talk to me
Great insight-thank you
You're super cool, thanks for the informative information.
Thank you for bringing this up. I think putting up with narcissistic abuse causes victims to become paranoid and untrustworthy of others. Word needs to get about this because all my life I have been accused of having paranoia as a mental illness. What would always get me is my nearest and dearest knew I have been "emotionally" invalidated all my life and they could not pinpoint it. It seems the only one who could get it out of all the mental health personal was my psychologist Dr Newman. I also feel bad because I have had the police called on me during melt downs and I have always been very co-operative and nice with them. I think it would be a good idea to teach abuse victims how to deal with officers. Don't be mad at them it is there job to make sure you and the general public are not in danger. Like when I was told they had to bring me in for a psychiatric evaluation. The told me that I seemed upset and needed to talk with someone. I did not try to talk my way out of it because they told me they could get in trouble. That was enough to make me agree to go for a ride to the psych ward. I don't mean to fly off the handle like I did a few days ago but I got triggered by something that literally felt like some one ripped off a scab and salted it followed by alcohol. I blew up and started kicking the wall and screaming you filthy sick f-kers!!!! What I saw was something I can never have. If I ment to blow up like I do I would seek out triggers. That's why I play a lot of video games like pool or Dark Souls. And it's like I have told people if only I could have the life I wanted I swear as God is my witness I would be good as gold compared to how I am now. God did give me a small sliver of my constant craving since I was 15. I have improved dramatically over time. Even though people can't see them I am spiritually with the ones I have been painfully searching for. I thought I was going to be a goner like on Mortal Kombat were your warrior is falling down a grey brick pit and I too can also relate with that fallen warrior waiting for the spikes at the bottom. I felt trapped spiraling down falling pulled into a black hole and all I could think of was to wait for death. But it seems I slipped into another dimension. I feel changed I survived. Is it possible to be soul sucked into a black hole. They say you can emerge in another dimension with no way back. And I would not want to go back. I always think of the movie The Titanic. Except it takes place in a star ship and instead of an ice burg it is a black hole. And the part in The Titanic about all the beautiful china and furniture and people being flooded with water is my soul drowning in darkness and despair. It is A Life so Changed. I even had a strange spiritual experience where I felt suspended alone in darkness and that's when I felt the spiritual hands of other people. Like a few days ago I was having premonitions about a lady saying I hate to leave you alone but my time is over. We are the last of our times. I know you miss us and the glory that once was but live this life as peaceful as possible we will be together someday. This is their generation ours is passing away and be kind to these poor lost souls they are a product of their times. Times filled with narcissism and validation seeking... Sure enough on MSN she really did pass on.... I will end it hear because I don't want to go on forever.
We're talking about all people in a narc universe.
I really wish these videos were around when I was your age. Thank you for these. It took me in to my 40's before I even ran across the idea of a malignant narcissist, and then began to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Fortunately, I left home at 17 and kept much physical and emotional distance from my narcissist mother and enabler/sadistic father, which helped me function and even have some big successes in life. It was only when I got lured in by their 'niceness' and subsequent abuse that I've had troubles, thanks to them triggering old, programmed insecurities. It is very, very true that narcissists never, ever change! Narcissistic traits in their victims, however, can be worked on, leading to a very healthy and happy life. Awareness of them in the first place is key....and of course, one should ALWAYS keep a safe distance from these people!
Same for me except I'm 52
Puzzle complete!😂😂💪💪
⭐️ QUESTION: If they think everybody is trying to get them and harm them, why do they always have to have the attention from others and stay in the lime light? >>> hiding from and avoiding everybody and go in hermit mode would be more reasonable consequence out of that.
But then the narc wouldn't have his victims from whom he sucks emotions and souls, trying to fill his empty, sad void. I'm learning to pity him, forgive him, but I will never forget the lessons I learned from him ... stay the hell away from narcs!
I made my narcissist ex girlfriend so mad she says she hates me and never wants to talk to me again Am I finally rid of her ?
motor mania ....NO
I'm also paranoid and I am not a narcissist (I passed the test)
Those disorders are in different clusters not for nothing.
I m highly paranoid and I suffer a lot because of it