Realities That Narcissists Can't Accept
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- Опубліковано 15 кві 2017
- One of the greatest costs of the narcissists abuse is that it prevents you from accepting certain truths and realities. The comforting insulation that the narcissist provides obscures truth and prevents you from personal growth.
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I have often thought that they are possibly possessed by an evil entity. I wonder if the childhood trauma they went through, has opened a door which we call the "false self". This would explain the diabolical ,manical, hate that drives them to injury and seek to destroy anyone who threatens THEIR reality.
I saw a full blown demon take over a person. This person was a narcissist in behavior. This person went out of his way to rob me spiritually. So yes..I agree with your comment
Why does anyone assume they had some kind of childhood trauma? This is not a cohort known for their veracity and they’re well aware of the narrative most likely to garner them a Get Out of Jail Free card. They were nasty kids, nasty teenagers, nasty young adults and nasty adults.
They’re consistently consistent in their nastiness.
How come those of us who DO come from parents like these POS don’t abuse our own kids-and know enough to NC and ensure our own kids are shielded from these known abusers? Please. Believing anything that comes out of their mouth is remotely truthful is hazardous to your health.
And a denial of your own Reality.
Idk, but they're absolutely terrible and they NEVER rest!
UA-cam spirit of Pharoah, Pastor Robert Clancy. Found my "husband". People also say Spirit of Jezebel... indeed that may be true, but in my case Spirit of Pharoah rang true
They had a severe trauma in early childhood ..only because someone ever humiliated them as a child.( what happens to 99% of all children) ..They become narcissist the day they where born.
On a "Positive" Note: They SHOCK you into the awareness you need to go NO CONTACT. If they weren't COMPLETELY TOXIC, you would still be dealing with their flaws (since we all have them). IOW: You would just think they were jerks. Their INSANITY actually does you the favor of AWARENESS.
well said! so true
Wow yes, tragically true. I wish it didn't take 38 years to figure this all out about my mother...
sheena holly ...yes my narcs npd behavioural traits sure woke me up...and I haven't been near the cookcoo in more than 4 years !!
Well said
Very True!!
For me it was terrible to realize that the person my Ex pretend to be does not exist. It is almost like the person I loved dies. I think so much about the beginng of the relationship and how it happend that I falled in love with him. I really thought he is an Angel and now I think he is the devil himself.
That's exactly how it is. Part of healing from this abuse is grieving for the person you thought they were. THAT is who we miss. THAT person is who we grieve.
I've come to accept the fact that my ex-husband of twenty-five years is not who I thought he was. Now, whenever I see him, he just makes my skin crawl, and I want to vomit. Once you see their true nature, you can't un-see it.
with me it was a lady, she made me think for more than 5 years that i was the problem, all her masks fell off, a shock to me and total defeat/ shame to her when i got knowledge that they exist in our world
Alex Stark You were likely lovebombed in the beginning. It is very common with narc relationships. Sorry, been there too.
MY EXACT DILEMMA AT THE MOMENT, just blocked my ex yesterday for good even though it's been a couple of months since we broke up. I started to distance myself cut ties for good but am dealing with the trauma from that and losing my mother to cancer. I'm a 25 y.o openly bisexual man and dated this guy for 8 months that was a narcissist. Afte we broke up he kept trying to get me to talk to him. I would give short answers and ignore him. I had unfollowed but I realized I'm not about to play that childish shit anymore. He acted very foolishly, cold hearted, physcopathic and abusive mentally towards me but he " loved " me so much in the beginning. I remember him showing me his true colors and how bad that felt and how it went from bad to worse from there. It was about 3 months before the first thing went wrong and he was so gorgeous and romantic. He takes such pride on being a monster and had only kept him on my page so that I could get revenge one day but each time he reaches out it IMMEDIATELY drains me no matter what his disposition at the time. I sent him a video basically calmly dogging him out telling him to pull that bullshit and that was glad I blocked him b4 we video chatted about this issue before we did and he was at work so I sent it to him and then blocked him. Knowing Kevin as well as I do, that hurt his ego and have been the best guy in his life, most loyal, and attractive to date imo and that does not matter to a guy like this 😅😅😅😅 so ladies and any men, ugly or pretty, big or little you are beautiful in se way and deserve freedom. I'm damaged but not broken and God bless all of you. I have a place in my heart for everybody here y'all are the real heroes.
*Zenyatta Mondatta:* I'm sorry to read that this happened to you - I know exactly what you mean!! It happened to me - it took me 23 years to see what he was, and it was only because he abandoned me, totally without warning!! Like you said, I miss who I THOUGHT he was - who he was at the beginning, and it IS like a death. I try to look at it as though he's mentally ill, to preserve my own sanity. He also did the same thing to his first wife of 19 years, and left her with 2 children, but I was too stupid to see what he was back then, and I believed his sob story about his first wife being a controlling, abusive monster. Now, I question every word that he's ever said to me - his ex-wife may not be what HE told me she was, at all!
I recently attended a wonderful "Boundaries" workshop. The presenter talked a lot about tending our own garden. Having grown up with a narc father, then marrying one, I had no idea I could have a life NOT devoted to someone else. At 71, I am experiencing the joy of being responsible for ME. Each should carry HIS OWN napsack.
The less I think about the Narcissist the better I feel, leave them and don't think about them. They really do destroy your soul.
59Disciple yes; they do if u let them.
I agree. For me, too, it is better to put them out of my mind and not think about how miserable and screwed up their lives and heads are, because as an empath, that just gets me down.
My ex narc had it in for me from the very beginning
I thank my lucky stars that I realized early on there was something really off about him. At about the same time of my discovery, I began to feel the effects, put two and two together and got away. He tried to hoover me but I didn't fall for it.
I wasn't the person he thought he could drag down that road to hell.
He began to realize I wasn't worth the energy he was putting into the manipulation tactics he was using on me.
I could see right through him and he knew it.
They not only destroy your soul, they go out of their way to mess with your head, inconspicuously..so you almost start 2nd guessing yourself.
The psychology behind their madness and destructive behavior is unbelievable, once you realize they're narcissists.
It's an eye opening experience for sure.
TRUE!
My narc mother has been telling me she's dying for the last 30 years. I think it was her way of abusing me but all she did was make it easier to accept her eventual death. Thanks mom
My mother did the same. Always telling us kids she was going to die. Later on as an adult in my 40s, I asked her why she was always telling us all our lives and even now that she was going to die. (It’s an awful and confusing thing to hear as a child). She said because her mother died when my mother was 14 from cancer whom she helped care for and watched her die. And she said it was her greatest fear and she wanted us to be prepared should it happen to her while we were young. She’s been dying now for 76 years. Watching her mother die must have been very traumatic for her. She has just been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s dementia. :(
For me, the KEY catalyst was this:
Learning that THE NARC IS UNABLE TO CHANGE - period.
I never knew what I was dealing with - in clinical terms, anyway - until I stumbled upon various UTube videos towards the end of last year that outlined all aspects of narcissism. Every behavior & psychological tactic & manipulation mentioned, .. and my corresponding reactions, ... fit my scenario(s) to a T. It also confirmed the conclusions I came to on my own over the years (that they never change, their behavior gets worse over time, their idea of giving is always done with the expectation of receiving something in return ( to benefit them and/or their reputation), that they only want control & power over situations & people, that they don't care about who/how/to the extent they hurt someone to get what they want, that they're slick master manipulators & deceivers in doing so, and sickest yet, they enjoy laughing at/making fun of or looking down on the economically disadvantaged, & mentally/physically disabled... and SO much more, as I'm sure, you & those reading this already know. I spent my 20s & 30s giving one sibling in particular the benefit of the doubt whenever we had a run-in, thinking "ok.. maybe she had a bad day", or, "maybe she'll react differently next time", only to see her consistently fall back into the same "Jeckel & Hyde" behavior, ... proving NOTHING ever changed inside her. I always knew I had cruel siblings (physical violence, deciet/trickery, condescending put-downs/name-calling, making me the butt of their jokes, gaslighting, taking away my power in various ways, sabotaging my education, & later on, my career endeavors, pitting my other siblings (even my Mom's doctors later on) against me with their smear campaigns), but didn't have it confirmed til later, when I started sharing their injustices with close friends, that this was NOT "the norm" in most families. All my friends, who didn't even know each other, said the same thing, .. "There's something mentally wrong with her". Yes.. there is.. AND...that's HER RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX - NOT MINE. I used to think if I tried showing her/my siblings the love/compassion/help I thought they were missing in their lives currently and/or making up for in the absence of such through which we ALL suffered as siblings raised under the same roof/parental guidance, it might change their disposition - a miraculous healing would take place & they'd change their opinion of me as "the runt of the litter"/least significant/successful in my family. But I now know that doesn't interest them. They simply DON'T CARE because there's no immediate benefit to them in doing so. It's much easier to hate, & more entertaining to them to continue fostering the environment that enables them to torment others. And because they see nothing wrong with that, they're just not going "to fix it if it ain't broke". They're just stuck in "survival mode" & unwilling to do the inner work to overcome their fears & immoral behaviors in order to be a better person than those by whom they were mistreated.
The bottom line is, ... God gave everyone a Conscience - an inner compass to understand the difference between right & wrong - and the Freedom to chose to follow it or not. Their behavior gives them away, ... therefore, ...
1) they ARE WHO THEY ARE by CHOICE - willing/able to change or not
2) THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE for what they've CHOSEN to become
3) It is NOT our responsibility, as Empaths, to "save" them from their choice
4) We, as Empaths, are FREE to walk away from ANYone who is not willing to change or treat us with the respect we deserve.
Unfortunately, some people ARE a "lost cause" - proven clinically - (AND theologically) which, sad as it is for them, gives me the Peace & "Self-Granted Permission" to change trajectory & break free. Information truly IS the Liberator! :D
Brilliant and yes they are stuck in "survival" mode.It,s quite entertaining to watch them reach middle age and try to fight it.They are not human.They masquerade as people but they are dead inside.They will never work on themselves or face reality no matter what happens.Death,illness nothing stops them.Nothing.
I just hope you are not living with these damaged people and can get space away
ActiveEnergy
yep! I think the whole concept of "narc-ism" boils down to the very basics in Christianity - good vs. evil And like the angels that dropped everything to follow satan & do his bidding, narcs too, are used as tools/vessels to carry out satan's plan of torment & destruction towards the Godly.
Narcs
• are jealous of us
• are envious of us
• feel threatened by us
• want to hurt/cause us pain
• want to sabotage our purpose for being
• want to ultimately destroy us
(sounds just like the devil, doesn't it?!) And in doing so, they slap God in the face by suggesting He didn't make them "perfect" or give them enough talents, etc. "They got more than I did!", "Why didn't I get what they have?!", "I wasn't treated fairly", "I'm not pretty", instead of being GRATEFUL for how God has made us & all He has given us as individuals, each with our specific purpose & destiny. Why not be thankful for even the basics most people take for granted:
• Our 5 senses
• The ability to walk/move
• Good Health
• Talents & Skills
• Independance
• Freedom of choice
(and look what they choose! - it's a disgrace)
They're all just Big Whiny Babies that turn into "Free-Range" BULLIES. One of the things that helps me tough it out with their abuse is knowing that God disciplines His own - so if they're getting away with their criminal behavior (I say criminal because they commit crimes against humanity - UNSEEN), then I also know that they are not of God & will eventually receive the ultimate punishment: God's wrath & eternity in hell.
mz
In the middle of trying to get away - economic/financial circumstances & parent in need of Full time care have "held me hostage" under the same roof with my controlling & abusive narc sister for 7 years now ( but my plan is in place, bricks are being laid as I speak, & I trust God will "part the sea & free me from Egypt" eventually. TY for your concern, BTW. it's nice to know someone even cares! :)
*****
Yes ... "The Savior" in so many ways ... has come thru 4 me B4 ... I trust He will again! TY 4 your encouragement. Means a lot 2 me. :)
This is an important topic. Thank you. Narcs cannot face reality for themselves or for anyone. God help you if you have a health scare when you have a family member who is a narcissist because they will kick you to the curb since they do not want to be around anyone who is not going to be able to make them the priority. Your job is to serve them and they are angry when you actually have needs.
Antoinette Brosset I 100% agree. I can attest that is very accurate. I went NO CONTACT with NF and my reason was i suffered a back injury at my place of employment that required back surgery and boy did NF was pissed his Primary SUPPLY was hurt. Sick individuals
Antoinette Brosset are u serious well that’s just selfish of them to think and feel that way then!
The other interesting reality narcs can't handle is the TRUTH about their behaviors. When confronted with it, their narc rage or other similar temper tantrum really gives away and reveals their deep insecurities (along with "outs" them as narcs often).
Just happened to me, while in that explosion at me, she was smearing her faults on to me and unwittingly telling me how deeply narc she is and how deeply it runs and mad that I could tell what she is and it was right of me to had been guarded but she scolded me for doing it, forgetting I did talk to her more than she assumes I never did and was shunning her.
The weirdest parts in her tearing down of me was both her admitting her deep set jealousy of a mutual friend's abilities and who they are as a saner person in general she is regularly siphoning their energy and duping them as being their "very best friend" but not letting them be with their own friends without her okay or her watching close/invited at all times to same places friend goes and they have no idea they are being expolited/having their soul hijacked. One day I pray they wake themselves up and see what this nightmare has been clouding their life before it's too long
also that she says if she does not "Win someone over" then it is pointless to her to see where it goes if it becomes a good thing or not. I won't be the last person who sees right through her like she thinks, she feels she can will everybody to be fooled and duped into thinking she's so wonderful and caring and harmless, anybody like that is the most toxic.
When you got opinion on something and your opinion is correct....they might hate you and plot against you....like sneaky behavior....i just withnessed it around oct'18
Oh and that same person addmitted what she did to her ex....i could already see all coming beacuse i study this straight 10Y.....since my son got behavior problems.....
My NPD husband was a pastor for 25 years.He finally had such an emotional breakdown that he was hospitalized on his own initiative. All of a sudden, we in the congregation had a breath of freedom! We began sharing with each other all the ways he had done harm to us emotionally, and psychologically as well as spiritually. We voted him out. I moved out.
There was a lot to work through, but that was the beginning of the healing process for many of us. So, sometimes it takes a crisis to move us "off the dime". But perhaps, now days, with your site, and others like it, diseminating great information, people won't have reach a crisis point before taking proper action to gain the freedom everybody is meant to have.
That's a rare win for the good guys! I'm happy for you.
@@mm669 I believe it was God. God is not mocked.
I lived with a Narc for 17 years. I knew that something wasn't right with him, I didn't know about NPD then, yet with all his "talk" and victimization, I felt pity for many years...promising myself that I would never hurt him...post escape now knowing I did this at the expense of myself. The final straw for me was his trying to "sell" me on the idea of moving in with my son at his apt, as a "roommate" (that can't happen I'm his mom). and renting out the house that my sister so generously gave me to live in without rent! Such a grandiose plan, terrible taking advantage of my family! That wasn't going to happen. I knew I needed to have that talk that I couldn't go on anymore with him. He kept me at bay for many years, with his threats of suicide if I didn't want him anymore. He actually did it himself. He could have just left with my stuff..my comp, cell phone, and my car, but that night he just had to explode on me and try to kill me, because I didn't listen to him, because I ignored him. I"ll never forget his contorted, evil face that night! Did he count on me to NOT call the police? Probably so..because he knew I never wanted to call the police for anything. It took a lot of courage on my part to go against my own policy, but I did call the police, and he STILL sits in jail awaiting trial. That is because he systematically wiped out his blood family from his life, due to their unwillingness to listen to his relentless talk of how they should live their lives. Now I am finally free and filing for divorce. I have gone no contact, and filed a restraining order. Once it happened, I didn't feel sadness, I felt numb, and then came the relief!!! I AM FREE!
jofish420 nice dont give him access to information about yourself like your address and who you hang with and phone number because they'll try to cause chaos and hoover, always be cautious, peace and love
That's not what a narc is
My narc dad has about a year to live. The kind of cancer that you don't beat, especially not as his age and given the rest of his medical history. As soon as he was given "the death sentence" he looked one of his enablers in the eye and said, "I'm gonna beat this, I'm gonna live another 10 years!! I know it!" These people are completely delusional sometimes. And yes, sometimes people do have better health outcomes in times like these, but the way that he made that declaration made it absolutely clear that he would continue to live because he was special. Not because of his team of doctors, or his treatments, etc. It was just because he was so special.
Sounds like my narc mother--told that she'd lost 3/4 of her vision due to glaucoma so can't drive anymore, she turned her head to the wall, refused to look at the eye test results, insists that her vision is perfect so she can drive just fine.
Yes, shatter the illusion and then resurrect your life. A great message for Easter(if you follow that theology) 🙏
This guy is very good, the best I have seen. Well done helped me a lot, thank you. At last I am free No Contact is the only way.
I had my break free over a year ago now. I am still in contact with my narcissist on a limited basis. Every now and again I have this overwhelming fear that I am going to be sucked back in, but I realize time and time again, that what is broken won't be put back together. The narcissist is not powerful enough to draw me back in. It creates a lot of very strange and weird encounters but I always leave the contact feeling liberated and safe in a way I never knew possible. The roller-coaster that is knowing a narcissist is not over, but I am not flung around the way I used to be and I can usually see what's coming.
StartingAnew as long as they’re around at all they have your attention so you aren’t starting anew.
You’re taking an intermission.
The Narcissist will make (force) you to Accept their Reality...
"They" are not truth oriented.
After so many life times, the truth abandons "them."
Always comes in the form of good people going no contact with "them." They are energetically casted away from The Unifying Field of Pure Consciousness.
Best Comment, dunno why people don't fuck with you.
They give the illusion of stability Yes, they are good at that facade. They act like the one who can walk on water but, turn out to be the one who runs away when things get a little difficult. I've had some chaotic, difficult times with ex narcissist. He does not handle responsibility well at all. Talk about crisis.
I was watching Truly Free Me and they said a crisis for a narcissist is asking them a simple question. How dare you question the narcissists opinion, idea or anything.
That question is a crisis so, a narcissist in a "normal" crisis is disaster times 10.
They won't even help their servant, their victim out of harms way. Too fixated on themselves and their illusion. They are always in a state of shame and grandiose.
That's all nuts to me. Also, I heard they don't have a conscience so that explains a lot.
Depending on how sensitive they were or how abusive their parent was, decides weather they geot their consciences murdered or not. I am not worried about talking about death because it is a reality but, true, what you say about narcs and aging and death.
My ex narc was surprised he was fifty. Like it was a crisis. We all have crisies but, you figured he was the only person who suffered getting old.
They screw things up, don't plan for any future and burn all their bridges so, I'd be afraid of who's gonna take care of me if I was them. There are so many people who would go, "F---off narc." I'm not angry, Just telling my opinion. My ex, without me standing beside him is a lot worse off financially and image wise. And, he knows, hopefully by now, that i won't be going to his funeral and saying anything about him because I wouldn't go. So, they lose a lot of friends along the way. But, they just find new fools to dupe.
Their fear of death is easy to explain: they'll lose everything they think they have. They will lose all supply.
The reality my narc parents can't accept is that there is something wrong with me mentally. (and there is something wrong with me) What really helped me is knowing that they don't love me. I already knew that when I was a toddler.
Alexander Jurjens
I'm sure they love you at the primal level you can be sure of that
Alexander Jurjens
do you think you're suffering from complex post-traumatic stress disorder which would be long term traumatic stress from different events over a long period of time which differs from regular post-traumatic stress disorder which usually has one incident or cause like war
I am absolutely sure they don't love me. I have been diagnosed with a personality disorder myself.
Alexander Jurjens
if you want to tell me I'm listening and keep in mind therapists are not always right. they could have mistakenly diagnosed you or incorrectly
Alexander Jurjens
keep in mind cptsd that I mentioned below can look like borderline personality. and generalized anxiety disorder GAD can look like NPD narcissistic personality disorder. and even bipolar can be confused with borderline psychiatrists and psychologists are really just learning . most don't even know anything about complex post-traumatic stress disorder. see Richard Grannon the Spartan life coach channel. he specializes in c-ptsd due to narcissistic abuse.
and also some of these things can be just hormone imbalances and lack of nutrition and too much sugar and starches lack of sleep and adrenal fatigue or even allergies which are autoimmune. they're too quick, in my opinion to make a diagnosis.
I'm not keen on using the word human in describing the narcissist but understand your politeness giving them the benefit of doubt. They certainly impersonate and simulate real humans but don't meet criteria as being truly human
"Never underestimate the level of denial a narcissist can live in" is particularly affecting for me. He did such awful things. In just about every way he could disappoint me and traumatise me, he did. Many incidents were largely reactive but some were planned. When these things upset me, with they mostly did of course, it wasn't just because of the thing he'd done. It was also because he should even want to do it, never mind plan it! The knowledge that he hardly gives those things a second thought and just ploughs on is a killer. It's even worse that I have strongly suspected that this might really be true for a long time, but every time I'm confronted with it, it horrifies me all over again. I could never have conceived of the possibility of this until I did. And I did only when things had ended. Far too late. Hmm, this denial thing has really triggered me. Interesting :)
My resident narc is obsessed with superhero movies, and while he was drinking, honestly thought he was a superhero, indestructible and immortal. bound to outlive us all.
This is a great analysis of the narcissist and reality. Both of my parents are extreme narcissists. I am 52 and now no contact after pulling away for the last three decades. Understanding the reality of my childhood has been a necessary step in understanding how I view the world and my anxiety and full understanding is necessary for us victims to reprogram our brains to be positive for the rest of our lives.
A narc holds this intense control which has you frozen with fear . You FEEL fear yet once you see them for what they are you realise YOU are the one in control if you choose to be . They are vulnerable to your rejection . Yet from years of this head distorting abuse you still feel the FEAR . It’s such a difficult condition to explain yet when you have been a victim ,listening to someone like yourself trying to explain it makes 100% sense and is life saving help . Thankyou .
You Have MEGA Relevance!!!!!!! I have pulled thru, thanks you for all your wisdom!!!!!!!!
Jacob Pennink I agree. He really understands this subject and can articulate his findings in an incredible manner.
Excellent video. My catalyst was getting sick - I realised that my life with the narc would never contain the support, understanding and compassion I needed, so I left. An awful time in my life became the best positive ever and my life is much happier now with a caring partner, even whilst sick ☺
"Honing your response..." You pinpointed my exact plight at this moment in life. I was so accustomed to having to 'figure everything out' and now I'm simply trying to stay present in the moment and craft my responses to the unknown and life in general. It is unsettling and yet I'm learning how to become comfortable w/not knowing or having it all figured out. I appreciate this video SO much!
For me it was difficult to understand they don’t love - they fake love. When I asked my husband why he never says I love you to me his response was because you should already know I love you.
:( I’m so sorry
my ex-narc told me that she was very afraid of death all her childhood....big topic in her youth
they are very swift and agile, to live (and defend) their reality no matter how much proof there is to the contrary of it...it mind-bending really. And it literally will drive you crazy if you let it. After being married to a covert Narcissist for over 25 years, I wondered why I felt such a strong need to keep my independence and sense of self, it was because I would garnish no affirmation or support from him. Not to say that I came out of the marriage unscathed, I was injured in my soul from lack of validation and neglect.
This is a really good topic. That moment when the illusion is shattered... when the hidden inadequacies that underlie the need to control are revealed, is the moment when the vampire's spell is broken. No longer can the prey be convinced of the deity of the narcissist. After that, whether a person chooses to stay or leave, they have gained a foothold in reality. However, if it is not a mortal wound to the narcissist (as in facing their actual death) once they realize that you are aware of their imperfection, they will reject you in as scathing way possible (which will be a good thing, ultimately.) The point is, that this moment of exposed vulnerability marks the end of beguilement.
Yes, that is the true path to freedom from narcissists... Jesus Christ! The funny thing is, often it is an encounter with a narcissist that brings a human being to their knees and a true awakening as to the loving nature of their Creator. How ironic is THAT?
very insightful... he does what it takes to get our attention, yes?
I am not a jesus admirer, but very spiritual and with a house full of maria pictures/statues, bibles, books on religion and astrology, and art. And I sensed it right away the first moment I met her at work. She made me think of a girlfriend of very long time ago,(but I didn't know she was a narcissist). So I kept distance. But then one day I got shocked over critique I got from a female colleague.And as I came home later that day,the narc was cycling in front of my house! I was very surprised and we talked abt what had happened "Oh, she is in love with you", she said.( It turned out she was right). And she herself lived around the corner.. Never seen her in over 10 years. And bc work was a 10 miles travel, she could have a lift with me the next days.
In short: after a couple of days i got ill, playing baroque music all day, knowing what was coming. And at the end of the week we had a phonecall, she came to me, and so our relation started.
All the rest is history: angel in the beginning, devil at the end. After 6 months I broke up with an email to her analysing her demeanor, followed with a talk ( my idea) under guidance of a chairman ( her idea) in which she got totally enraged
In unbelief what had happened, after 2 years I'm still wondering: was this karma, to know what narcissism is, and to find answers on all other questons and past? Or was it a test- from God?
I understand the very familiar saga of a narcissist relationship. Unfortunately, there has been a concerted effort by certain self-worshiping religious people that has deliberately obscured the truth of Jesus Christ, the only Divine being who, rather than demanding blood, offered up his own life for the redemption of sinners, which we all are, whether we are NPD or not. The true path of forgiveness can only be found in Jesus, and all other spiritual practices have emerged from a spiritual entity that ENVIES and IMITATES the love of the Creator Father. Thus, the character flaws found in narcissists are a microcosm of the original Liar, who pretends to be something that he is not in order to obtain control. Please look beyond the religious structure of our time, and consider in the Bible who Jesus really is, for the time is short, and all this endless narcissistic evil is about to be undone. There truly is only One Way. There is either repentance and forgiveness, or falsity, pride and death. Choose well, my friend. I was once in a similar spiritual state, but now that I have found the true Light I have found forgiveness, both for myself and for those that have harmed me: and freedom. I tell you this in the hope that you may find this freedom as well.
yes...illusionists who can't handle anything :(
I relate perfectly to what you are talking about. Anyone who has not been with one wouldn't have any idea what you talk about in your videos, that's one thing I like about your videos because you HAVE to have experienced it to know what you're saying. thx.
I know all about it! I finally realized my mother is narcissistic early last year and when I began learning about it, I got a bigger, more objective picture of the state of her mind and our lives.
She lives in constant denial on multiple levels. Everything from her cats being OK - until you see that she’s having them use a litter box ankle deep in urine, after you’ve left her 4 large containers of cat litter, to the idea that she didn’t actually lose a legal case that she lost, to the fact that her house wasn’t upside down, when it was.
I think that this is also part of future faking (pie in the sky). They can’t accept realities. They can’t accept failures. When they future fake you, they’re also future faking themselves since their battle is really with you, instead of themselves anyway.
But, it can become very dangerous as you can end up basing your life on the convincing narcissist and the bubble they’ve created. And it is not always so that the bubble will burst for them, as well. It may just burst for you and ruin your life. Since narcissists don’t like responsibility, they are unlikely to take responsibility for it either so, you’ll be on your own.
thank you for the help you provide us all.
Hope. Breaking away is insanely doable. But functioning in reality is scary to go over that hurdle. I'm a recluse with severe adrenal fatigue. Nowhere to go. I'm getting more determined from videos like this. It will be a prooooooocess. Thank you so much for your videos.
a recluse with adrenal fatigue. this is my life :)
I have adrenal fatigue also and I tend to prefer to be alone as well.
It's not a coincidence. People in our situation tend to isolate. It gets worse over time. So if you guys are still able to enjoy public places , I'd make it a regular priority to get out there in it to prevent further issues down the road. I live in the middle of nowhere and that has alot to do with my situation.
No sidewalks 😫. It's not preferred to drive far away to get out of the house , but there are people out there with Much bigger problems than me.
✨✨✨💕💜💙🌺💙💜💕✨✨✨
+E L0VE When I'm not working I prefer to be alone.
If I'm off 3 days in a row I am in the house 90% of the time. it's a love/hate relationship
being around people tends to drain me so I like keeping my own company. I´d love to keep company with more people but it seems I can only find self obsessed monologging drones, who just want to vomit their problems on me and carry on merrily. No thanks. If I´m going to listen a monologue, it will be my own lol
Thank you for the video, Scott.
Otto Kernberg emphasizes that one of the hallmarks of NPD is what he calls "destruction of time", which basically means that a "mid-life crisis" hits narcissists with the force of a hurricane. The idea is that they spend all their life by projecting out and splitting off any problems, without growing mature relationships which are blends of good and bad. According to Kernberg, our subjective sense of time is correlated with our sense that relationships evolve and become more complex, that we are not just "perfect", and that requires our constant re-adjusting of our identity. However, narcissistic personality is abnormally rigid, unable to incorporate good and bad in a mature way, and hence when their limitations become impossible to deny (like in a mid-life crisis), they look back on their life and see emptiness. Without all those "bad" parts that they threw off their experiences became frighteningly shallow, and they feel that they never lived at all. Hence Kernberg calls this phenomenon "destruction of time". I have seen this in my former friend who is a malignant narcissists: he is aging now, and when he is down, he is WAY down, even though he does not face unusually grave life challenges. Unfortunately, his way of dealing with being down is to emotionally torture another human being, which makes it impossible to help him without destroying yourself in the process.
This rocked. I totally dig how you articulated what just happened in the last year of my life. You are young and wise. Thank you so much.
I am going to get a bumper sticker - A door decoration/sticker - Timeline picture - It will say - NO NARCISSISTS ARE WELCOME. Great Video!!!
Some of the most articulate and insightful talks available on this topic. Thanks for all your work.
yes I have noticed that they can recover from horrible things by creating a new reality, Its amazing , If they believe it, its true for them I guess.
59Disciple they are completely delusional. They always have to face reality sooner or later
My narcissist would have me hold him in my arms while he bawled his eyes out about someday having to face death. It was intense, not your average reaction. It was moments like these I started to suspect something was wrong with him that I had never noticed.
Scott, you just trip me out on your level of maturity and your perceptiveness of this subject and just in life period. You can read these people like nobodies business. But it does surprise me that you haven't yet figured out why they want to destroy the possessions of others. You said this in a previous video from before this one how you didn't know why they want to destroy the things of others. They do this to show that they have control over their target. It makes them feel "all-powerful". They want to remove all signs of ownership and individuality for the person they are trying to manipulate and control. They want to show that everything comes from them and ends with them. They want to remove all signs of your having a separate identity. That you are one and the same as them. That you believe you are part of this sickness then you must be just as sick as them and you belong together with them forever. This is how you lose your identity. If you're so tied in emotionally with them then you can no longer distinguish yourself from your very own perpetrator of the abuse they employ upon you. You then in turn become just as abusive as your abuser. This is what they want to do in the end. Destroy the goodness in you so that you become just as sick and twisted as they are.
And the lies, deception, and destruction feeds the false self. The false self of the narcissist needs these mal-adaptive behaviors to live. They must destroy your stuff because your stuff represents boundaries and truth.
Love your way of naturally swimming through your narratives. You have an excellent way of making the entire emotional environment play like a movie we can see and better understand. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!
Life throws narcisists in your way.
Been bingeing on your videos since I found you among the pack. Even though I nursed in acute care psych for decades I'd managed to mostly avoid (or repel:-) narcissists. They appear to be falling from the rafters right now during these momentous times. You are really helping me understand them on a deeper level with your unique insights. Thank you so much for sharing your gift.
Great video, Scott.
My experience is that sociopaths are sometimes delusional about their death. My ex used to say that he was immortal because he hadn't died yet. Death would have to prove him wrong. And I think he was serious.
On the other hand, narcs in general trivialize their own death (they make jokes, say they're gonna die young). And they also fear it and expect it any moment (they believe they're dead when actually are just drunk/half asleep, they panic if they're not the driver, they expect anyone to stab them literally). At least those are some of my experiences.
Let's not forget they are the most hypochondriac and destructive beings on earth. So they're right to an extent
Jessica Michaels He is a creep
Trianabfine Great point. It's true! Many things can be explained if we look at the children, because basically that's what they are. Thanks for pointing it out
Hey, I just found this information and I think it might be interesting:
Cotard delusion is a rare mental illness in which the affected person holds the delusional that they are already dead, do not exist, are putrefying, or have lost theirblood or internal organs. Paradoxically, 55% of the patients present delusions of immortality
That's exactly what the sociopath I know was experiencing
Well said. The Narcissist feeds on those falsehoods which are really projection of their own flaws. I’m being less than positive here but I’ve found this to be true. I love your positivity and your getting the learning across from the experience, painful as it is. I grew up with narcissistic siblings and one of my parents also. It is extremely damaging to grow up in that environment. I’m always feeling like I still need to heal from all that emotional abuse. They definitely feed off your pain. I moved out as soon as I was old enough to be on my own.
Want to say this, I love how ethical and thoughtful people like you are using the internet as a force for good. I think you bring comfort to a lot of people. Thank you.
Thank you for posting this very clarifying video at a point in time that I truly needed help with the situation you describe. I have a life long relationship with a cerebral type narcissist who at this moment is in the hospital with stage four cancer and in total denial. She seems to be trying so hard to control everyone around her including all hospital staff and assorted friends to do her bidding. It's like a horror circus really. She is faking an insincere niceyness ...something I've seen all too often in the past. I've been setting boundaries with her recently and called out her abusive behavior to no relief and she thinks I must be at her beck and call to clean up all the mess shell be leaving behind .Her own family can't stomach it either. She's trying hard to hide her dirty secrets from everyone and wants me to be dishonest along with her .This is just sad because I can't find it in myself to comfort her when I've finally realized she just used me basically all my life.
I'm making a video about this today, humanizing them is so important to your recovery and healing. Good video.
I really appreciate your "calm" style and delivery of validation via your sharing and knowledge . Thank-you....
We always say 'they think they're clever, there's a big difference between sly and clever'
the way you're explaining it, it's almost like a story telling within a film, or a bit like me talking to myself or convince myself the actual truth when alone. you have a gift of explaining intricate details on this issue my friend.
Thank you so much! It's reassuring that someone understands. 🙂
Hi Scott, I'm sure you have more... But one of your great qualities, authentic to you, that I've noticed through your videos... Is your mind. Your ability to think and process information from different perspectives and yet communicate it within context is awesome and part of what makes you relatable... Thank you 👍
My mother was a strong narcissist and the closer she came to her death, like maybe 6-8 months, she was in a mindset of “dang, I’m gonna actually die, I won’t be here anymore.” She passed away peacefully in a coma.
I was the only child of 3 that never abused her back. I was kind. In the end, she proved her love and loyalty by leaving everything to me. I remember my narc mother with love and understanding that she raised me the way she was raised herself.
Great video!!
did anyone notice that this particular video really struck a nerve with us? we are continuing the dialogue
I love your videos over others on here because it really gets you to understand why you shouldn’t beat yourself up over a narcissist. You really highlight the problems they face and got me to accept the reality that it’s way huge compared to the mind games I had faced. I am not one saying we aren’t important, I am saying I fathomed why we shouldn’t focus on the internal conflict because it isn’t really worth it as we can change but they can’t, instead, you get us to focus and accept our reality.. Thank you for your videos!
I can't stop watching your videos. After 17 years, 5 kids, and nowhere to turn, I found your videos. God answered my prayers. I'm not "crazy". I could not explain what was going on. You articulate everything so exact, so clearly, so real, I cannot deny this is my life. Now, I have the strength to do what should have been done years ago. The TRUTH, set me free. Thank You!
This video is amazing. SO much that rings true, i actually feel like a lump in my chest like food is stuck in the throat. I did end up with the last narc when I was fearful, and they do try to control everything, thinking somehow they will escape all consequences of their actions. That is, after all, why WE are to be the scapegoats. Thank you.
One reality I've noticed (at least with some of the narcs in my life) is that they are obsessed with social media. This is for a few reasons: controlling how they can be seen by their followers/"friends", being able to manipulate the narrative in a larger scale than telling whatever BS story they want them to believe and also to disguise the fact of how lonely and isolated they really are in real life. The ones I knew were either actually shut-ins or so disliked or distrusted at their office/place of work that very few people would actually talk to them. Which serves them right as far as I'm concerned.
I just got out of relationship with a narcissistic man,who tried to blame for every negative things that he has refused to take responsibility in a relationship,then i watch these videos and got the real in sight now i truely have understanding. Thank God i saw these videos,so there no self blame to myself and i can savage my self esteem.
This is the underlying psychological abuse and deception that can keep victims ensnared indefinitely. Thank you for "rambling" so effectively! :-)
Everything you said has a valid point and a good reason no you wasn't rambling on your very accurate and descriptive describing a lot of experiences with narcs as an enabler and I can vouch for you , your definitely making this a little easier for me. I'm living out my car as I'm typing this because I made a quiet escape from my narc family member and the system she has behind her and you described it in a lot of your videos so if you dnt still do these types of videos I recommend you keep it going because this might be your purpose here on Earth because I learned that I'm not alone or crazy just by veiwing your vids and others as well GOD BLESS
Mr. Rogers whats it like getting away and living in your car? Is it better you think if i left the narc and lived in a car for a while? Is it practical?
But ... they're NOT human.
no they are not :( hope you're well and happy now :)
Why you say they not human?
@@ilovemexoxo5720 Why you say their not human?
You are so spot on it’s crazy! You will forever be relevant to anyone who has a heart! Thank you and miss you 5 years later✊🏼
When I met my narc ex and we were getting to know each other, I asked about his parents and what they did and after a pause he described both their occupations and made it seem like they were both presently alive. It turned out his father had passed away of cancer, but that was his first real indication of twisting reality. Like he didn't want his father to be dead, so he lied about it and pretended he was alive? He also lived his life in a way that he didn't believe in death, he didn't believe in religion, or an afterlife and it was just like a naughty child who couldn't believe he himself was aging so emotionally he was still like 8.
All I can say about this video is- WOW! So spot on it's unreal! Thank you for the video Scott:)
Thank you so much for your wisdom!! I grew up with this problem, married people with it, and have children who have it!!! I never understood it!!! It’s hard when you are constantly bulled, thank you for freeing me from this abuse!!!
Thank you I loved this video,needed to hear it .
Your insights are so on point. I can detect narcissism and fakeness a mile away. Even in narc videos. I dont know how you gained your knowledge but it is truth. I never comment bc of the conditioning of narc abuse that makes me fear retribution. I didn’t have this previously and was able to express myself before last narc romantic relationship. My method of coping is to take full accountability of my part in things. But some people take advantage of people who are real. “Narcissists would have you believe that what they tell you is true”. I’ve been triangulated, falsely imprisoned and exploited. And the kicker is at same time I was told they loved me more than anyone ever has loved me and convincing my best friends of same. Then turned my friends against me. I can’t prove all of the triangulation, but mine was so savvy and covert. I still find myself having self blame. I try so hard to be fair. That it works against me in my own recovery. I hope this comment helps someone else who is doubting their own reality. It’s so hard for me to put this all out there for the works to see.
This really struck a chord with me. Previously I was with a narc in long term relationship. The control and organising got obsessive. It was s dictatorship to make me feel weak, foolish or disorganised. I'm all for being organised but this was different, it was controlling and over dominance. Narcissistic personalities I've seen have often been trying to isolate, dominate and crush independence or signs of strength out of you. Good video. Hope you still find therapy in them as I often do. I'm 18 months away from the poisoning relationship, and it really is like coming out of s coma, but one where you always get little headaches to remind of the past pains, I went no contact which was very hard but I knew deep deep down, it was what I had to do, My body told me. My mind was scrambled by 6 years of manipulations. You realise they don't give s crap about anybody, and that was a big wake up call. Glad I didn't marry them!!!
How did you get away. I have been in a relationship with a NARC for 7 years. Although I only recently found out there is a name for this. But I know I have to get out now. My body is telling me. But I have not been able to break away. I feel as if I have lost my self. And I have tried before but somehow I always get sucked back in . I have horrible headaches and feel exausted. But the really strange thing is that I ran away. Far away to another country. But he came all the way here. I was so scared. Then he had to leave. But we are still in communication through skype and FB. I am desperate to break free. How did you do it?
Shannon Hamilton
Shannon, go no contact.
Stop replying to his calls, texts, whatever.
Move again if you have to. Only tell a chosen few where you are.
The longer you go no contact and stay away the sooner your head will clear. Your thought process about everything will go back to normal.
If you've been abused mentally for a long time, it might take some time to recover. But once you do, you'll see your narc as the person they really are, but you won't until you go no contact for good.
Find the strength through close friends and family and others who you trust that can help you.
It won't be easy, it takes time and alot of strength to overcome a narc.
Good luck to you.
Yes, I understand what you are saying, I lived the same thing with my mother. You are explaining it well. It caused me a lot of emotional issues until I separated myself from it. They are very, very, very delusional and arrogant with their act of having it all under control and then you realize how rediculous, and weak, they truly are, and the arguments to face reality are futile. They waste your time with their fake stories about the future, and even the reality of today. I don't know exactly how I broke free, but I remember that it's best to keep my distance.
Narcs are as "human" as we are biologically speaking. Spiritually and psychologically speaking, it's another matter that requires spiritual knowledge and discernment.
I love you and your channel! you and others have helped me so much, I was raped by my narcissistic boyfriend when I tried to leave him. since then yours and other vedios, blogs, anything has helped me with the healing process. thank you!
Thanks Scott! This resonates completely with me, as have the two videos before this one (and many others). Wish I had time to share more of my own experiences relating to these particular aspects, but at the moment I don't. Will have to get back to you on that. I hope you're having a wonderful Easter weekend. All the best to you! / Maria Sederholm, Stockholm, Sweden
I appreciate the knowledge, and didn't feel as though you were rambling. I also just love the thought of contemplating that climactic moment when things fall apart and the prisoner is set free.
Great video for me to be able to explain what I been going through.. thank you .
Stream of consciousness perhaps, but rambling, no! You always manage to press buttons that are as slippery as wet fish! But you are able to encapsulate what can be very fine, very subtle colours. Colours which those that haven't been exposed to narcissistic abuse will probably never quite see. In my case, I guess I found a great deal "strange" about my ex right from the start. The hypnosis and my own desire to deny managed to keep a lid on things (at a hefty price!) When the cheating and the exploitation reached crisis, that's when I broke free from the continuous mental and physical agony. 7 years later and I'm fine. But this isn't something that you ever forget or abandon unscathed. The bonus, however, is in what you can learn from it all. Thank you again. Always enjoy your not-so ramblings!
You have a good video persona, thank you for talking about these things.
I really "get" your point in this video. My first husband who was a narcissist on steroids -(figuratively, not literally), got himself into such a state that he went into a depression. This was after we had been married a very long time. Finally, it became clear I could no longer help him or endure his control, and I left and never went back. Unfortunately, he rebuffed any attempts made by professionals to help him deal with his issues. He died a couple of years later. To the end, he tried to make others do his bidding, but the support fell away. As much as I have been hurt by narcissists, I find them, as you implied, very sad, unhappy people who think they are above the rules, and can mistreat people and still have the love of those people to the end. They live in a delusional world, which may fear them, but doesn't really love them. Because to really have a relationship with someone, there has to be give and take. There has to be times when each of them is willing to say they are sorry and take responsibility for his or her behavior. Narcissists can't or won't do that. This, again, is total denial, because we all make mistakes. That's why we need a Savior.
Really awesome! So true. My moments of discovering that real control is not defined in a hurtful sense. Self control and influence is necessary in maybe some healthy ways but real control is not defined by someone abusing u. It has been the most free-ing experience of my life! My mom was a full blown narc, my ex husband and my ex lover. So it's safe to say I was addicted their way of doing things until at 37, I began to be present with myself and accept I was broken, I was hurt and I had a very real desire to break thru and go higher and obtain a real peace and happiness. That was the start of discovering narcissism. 💜
Thank you for this video and thanks to those who commented. All of it and YOU were SO helpful with what I am going through! I was in a quandary however I now have my answer! Thank you! And Bless you all!
Thank you for posting a new video
they also before they die, try to put ideas in your mind to think about after they die... how to mess with your mind once their gone.
Oh yes, my aging father is taking steps to ensure that the divisions he created between his kids will continue and worsen after he dies. All while he preaches "You must forgive!"
Come back! I think so many narc channels are narcs. I think you are just like all of us in the comments. Pure and gentle soul with such a heart based way of explaining this journey with these toxic individuals.
Thank you for your insight!
They fear being exposed. My ex-narc bf was so afraid i was going to tell his family about his drinking and he would obsess about it. I was turned off by him when he asked me to lie for him to his parents and tell them he was sober. And his mask slowly started to slip...he would make statements about his little boy, how he wanted to give up his father's rights so he wouldn't have to pay child support and he would get so infuriated with the Enforcement Office lady to the point of wanting to "shoot her". That woke me up for sure. I had a panic attack that night and two days later i broke up with him. The only way i could get him to agree to leave is to threaten to tell his mom about his drinking. He still did a smear campaign on Facebook and played the victim. Oh, and he told everyone "I left her because she was controlling" lol
Excellent observations totally true. They fear death, getting old and sick
You are a delight....lots means all you say or said are sensible....your mind is brilliantly beautiful
Thank you, great video I can relate to everything you talked about
Thank you for your enlightning explanation.
Thank you for helping people!💗
Listening 5 years out. Where did you go? You really do understand the narcissist, you get into their head and explain them really well. Very different take than others, but resonates well with me.
Okay, I’m going to comment on a UA-cam video for the FIRST time here:
First, THANK YOU! Thank you for the time you take into sharing your experiences on narcissism and how you’ve been dealing with it. It has helped tremendously!
I think I may share a similar family dynamic as you. I believe my dad to be the head narcissist. I have 5 other siblings (all blood) and I believe 2 of them to be in the extreme antagonistic narcissist category and the others are more just drinking the metaphorical Koolade, if you will.
The big event you speak of, that gave me the strength to walk away and see the toxic family dynamic for what it TRULY is was the start of my parents (still pending legally) DIVORCE.
See, my mom was/ is the family scapegoat for many many years, aka the “crazy” one. My dad- the devoted, hardworking, successful, generous husband.
My dad owns a successful construction company building commercial pools and water features alike. He employs all of my 3 younger brothers and employs my oldest sister’s husband. All of these family members are drastically financially and emotionally entangled. Family businesses I feel fuel a narcissist like none other!!! A business can become a place for a cult of followers to regard their boss/father/ as a “hero” , “a saint” , “the smartest man” they know!” (Sorry, that last one is a direct quote from a sibling 🤣)
I could EaSILY write a novel here, but my main purpose is to say that my mom finally breaking away from it all and calling attention to my dads abusive behavior is what finally got me to take a step back and truly look at the dynamic for how it TRULY functions. Or rather, Dysfunctionally functions. 😆 what’s funny is, my dad would often say , “our family puts the fun is DysFUNction!!” He was proud of all the chaos and drama within the family. He LOvED it when my siblings would act disrespectfully to my mom!!! Later I would learn, many narcs are misongynists so all of his little “quirks” soon to all make sense. All of his sexist, racist, demeaning “jokes” all served HIS purpose.
He broke my mom down so low through the years. Calling her crazy, getting all of us to believe it. Her emotions were “too sensitive”…her behavior “unexplainable”. I could go on and on. She later would find herself in a rehab center that he encouraged her to go into. Funny enough, this place would be his undoing. The rehab center ended up shining a light on her family’s abuse. The family was really good at making every little thing her fault. She needed to apologize for EVeRYThinG and “get help”. I’m honestly sad to say, there were times I actually believed my mom could be the problem. 😞
I always remained close to my mom, however. As much as my dad tried to alienate and isolate her from me. Telling me a mother like that couldn’t truly love me! But i questioned my dad and his opinion of reality A LOt! And because of this, I never truly let myself invest in him completely. My physical distance (living in a different state) and not being involved in the family business I think helped!! And was KEY! I wasn’t as entangled as the rest of the kids.
What made me feel my mom truly loved me was her respecting my boundaries and my dad would continually bust through them! I was able to recognize that how I FELT around my mom felt more genuine and REAL.
The divorce , filed a year ago, still hasn’t made a whole lot of progress. He keeps spreading fear amongst the other siblings that my mom is going to dESTroy the company and DESTROy all of their livelihoods with it. He’s convinced them she doesn’t love them and that she’s the true enemy. He has convinced them that THEY need to cut her off from contact with them as a punishment and a manipulation tactic until she realizes she needs to COME BACK to my dad and that she is too INCAPABLE of living life without HIS money.
I had a brother “cut” ME out of his life for not following direction and continuing to have a relationship with my mom. Claiming that my relationship with her posed a threat to the WHOLE family and that I was selfish for pursuing a “fake” relationship with her.
I could go on and on…
I am now the new scapegoat. The new threat. And I am so so sos incredibly saddened by this. I’ve only tried to love all the members of my family. To understand them. And this is the “love” I get in return.
It’s SICK!!!! 😳 . IT’s dehumanizing. It’s all a freaking LIE!!! And it seems all these people really care about is money all while thinking they are the experts on love, morality and compassion!! 🤯
THESE are the personalities that are found in people like HItler and other tyrants throughout history. They are EViL! They are dangerous. And I have BLoCkED all but two of my siblings (that I still hold out hope for because they display some real human emotion)
Good luck out there people! It’s a scary world.
Excellent video, very insightful. Thank you
I finally "saw" my sister when I calmly told her that i felt hurt by what she had said to me ...seeing how she dealt with that while staying focused and emotionless myself was an eye opener and ended with her losing it and stomping off saying something like "yes you're always right aren't you"...noticing all her little add on almost stealth comments like "I was taking it in my usual weird way" etc and calling her out on those...she did not like it ...bye bye (hopefully )
Such hope spoken here. Thank you.
Very insightful. You are wise beyond your years
Even though I don't speak to my covert narc sister anymore, and haven't responded to her texts since last November , it's always good to listen to your words Scott . Each video sheds some more light on her mindset and behaviour . Feel pangs if great sadness that I don't have a relationship with the sister I thought she was and used to be . Now we're both middle aged I guess she will only get worse . However , I still think whether I should get back in touch , but unsure how to go about it . Logically she doesn't deserve any contact but to me , it not normal not to be in touch . We've both lost our dear dad aged 86 who died two yrs ago , and our mums got Dementia and in a carehome ...
my sister said some "finger wagging " comments about us seeing each other , and how I should morally do the "right thing " ; but no words of remorse or kindness . Just the "do the right thing and get back in touch And the final blow to me on text was her saying that I should honour our dads memory and do the right thing
The right thing with the narcissist is NO CONTATC. Don't forget that, unless you want more trouble.
jennifer UK hubbard We will always leave with our remorses...we need to accept that. we were brought up to feel remorses... But need to respect ourselves. Been there, know what u are talking about...courage
jennifer UK hubbard: Typical narc hypocrisy. They require their victims to "morally do the right thing" while they refuse to lift even a pinky themselves. 2 Tim 3:1-5 describes them to a tee and says to have nothing whatsoever to do with them. You cannot "morally do the right thing" by returning to an unrepentant predator for more abuse. It's your call but I would stay far away from her. Blood does not a relative make. Spiritual connection makes us relatives, not blood. Your sister is of a different spirit, just like my narc mother and golden child brother. I had to forfeit my entire family of origen along with my inheritance (that was already stolen by my golden child brother) because of their lies. Every aunt , uncle and cousin on both sides believed their lies and took their side when I tried to expose my narc mother. She slowly sucked the life out of my cowardly, enabling dad and finally finished him off 5 months after I went no contact. He was a dried up shell of a zombie with Stockholm Syndrome the very last time I saw him. It's very very painful but the only alternative is to continue allowing them to abuse you and ignoring the Truth.