Why Many Men Don't Want A Relationship: Women Require Emotional Labor and Time Investment
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 лип 2023
- Become a member to see behind the scenes videos and some more personal videos.
www.youtube.com/@schahrzadmor...
Connect with me via email, phone/zoom, or a public meeting.
thetreasurewithincoaching.com...
Read my book "The F-ck List"
www.amazon.com/dp/B00YCSO9PI
I married at 27, found it to be a living hell, found she contributed nothing, divorced at 29, never married again. Today I am 71, living my best life.
Interesting. Thanks for the share
We live in a country where telling women what to do is a crime. The lazy ones reproduced in the last generation because they didn't have rights (actually privileges that men don't have). Now that they have, it will take a while before they are eliminated from the gene pool.
Damn that was a long time ago then.. 😯
@@shanepatrick641 I only have to learn a lesson once.
That’s sad. You gave up. You let one lame woman that you chose by the way dictate how you viewed the rest of the female race. It’s like when women become “ bitter”
As you guys call us, when they date a few bad apples and then hate all men and use them and treat them badly. It’s the same thing.
Modern women are telling each other "Don't give anything, demand everything"
Yup. And we are watching what could otherwise be healthy relationships go straight down the shitter because of it. Utterly toxic.
There are so many walking vortexes of doom now that only know how to take, that the infinitesimally few that can give, stick out like flames on the ocean.
Most women want over 6' tall, make 200k or more, expect men not to care that they spent their 20s and 30s riding cock train
A relationship should be not only a commitment on both parts but both contributing to the relationship as well. From my perspective (50’s and single for years) currently MOST women want everything while giving nothing. It’s simply not worth dating anymore. Modern women finally validated why men turn to escorts. I didn’t get it before and although I’ve never gone that route-it simply makes sense.
A good marriage is like 2 CEOs who decide to extablish an alliance because both sides will benefit. But for some reason it is treated as job seeking.
Was married for 15 years, my wife became an alcoholic, I sent her to rehab and took care of our children, she ran away with a meth addict court-ordered to be in rehab and was still able to leave with majority custody of the children and more than half of everything else. Half of the retirement is gone, she got the home, and her meth boyfriend lives in my home with my children. I have a clean record and those two do not. I will never marry again. You never know who a person will change into 15 years down the road.
I've been single the majority of my life and the last part of this video is 100% on point. It's emotionally easier for a man to just go on without being in a relationship.
You have won the game
💯%
I think that's true for women as well. I gave up going out with men in my mid 20's because they brought either too much pain or drama to my life.
are you an aquarius?
@@lauraa857 . Nope.
Worst part is that, even in a relationship, the woman wants nothing to do with your emotions. It is entirely a one-way emotional relationship, where it is all about her time and tending to her feelings. If you need her to tend to your feelings, she is gone
That can be a sign of an avoidant being uncomfortable with other end opening up (and even with themselves it can be hard) in which case they withdraw. Its a hard dynamic to be in at first because they will try if they really love you but you cannot overdepend on them sadly until much later in the relationship IF youve managed to make them feel more comfortable otherwise they feel overwhelmed because theyre too busy managing their own insecurities.
Sounds like you are projecting your experience with women to all 4 billion of them.
Women are emotional black holes that will suck the life out of you while draining your wallet.
Would you say that a woman who reciprocates emotional attention equally or more is a keeper than one who just wants the s4x and is good at it? Sometimes I wonder if men really prioritize the cliche's you hear (attractiveness, being good in bed), or if they actually prefer more of a emotionally fulfilling relationship like some women do?
@@Ladeliciadelinda "Emotional fulfillment"? What's that? Is it going to haul the water or chop the wood. Such demands only come after the necessities of life have been achieved. Moreover, such questions are asked by people who are safe and have everything they truly needed.
Men want to be useful and respected for their usefulness. It's that simple.
The peace of being alone at my camper on the lake is amazing. No one tells me what to do, or bosses me around, or bitches and complains. Can you tell I've been married before?
How long does it take before the ringing in your ears from all the screaming stops?
@@MidnightMark12 Months at least. 😃😃
The only chirping you hear is the birds, not some woman planning your day :)
Yes. 😆
Yes! And you're right.
A very perceptive video, and one I haven't seen before from a woman's perspective.
I'm a healthcare professional, married someone with the same degree I have, and within two years she no longer wanted to work because I "made plenty of money for us".
I'm sure I was a bit of a workaholic, and I didn't give her nearly the emotional support level that a stay at home wife who's bored apparently requires, but I have no idea what she thought she was bringing to the relationship.
I'm 52 now and can't think of a reason I'd ever want to get married again. The brochure looks nice, loving caring spouse, nice home environment, etc., but real life falls FAR short.
you knock your pan in to provide everything and its still not enough for her. They are inherently selfish, all of them.
On the bright side, you both saved money on paying for child support. Very expensive.
From a family planning perspective it makes sense to just look after your own children rather than pay what it costs to have professionals do it. Also, paying for someone to keep up with things like cleaning, laundry, making service appointment, and so much routine stuff that it sounds like you didn’t do if you were away at work. So much time and effort goes into being a homemaker and also having a child. It’s the reason men learn to live with much less after they divorce. It’s too much work to do it yourself. Lol. Now , Crying in your beer about how awful and lazy your wife was with other jaded men who will prop up your misguided notions, is the best consolation.
It takes two to tango
@@christinefury1040 No, the issue is that many women who decide to become stay at home wives hardly do any of the things you mentioned, withdraw sex and then complain that they are bored and that all you do is work - after complaining that they want a bigger house.
A man calling women inherently selfish cracked me up 🤣
At 52 I could careless how good you are or how good looking you are I just can't be bothered. This woman nailed exactly all the things I'm not willing to give up. Nice work. Went to dinner a few weeks ago with some friends and meet a great lady there, she was attractive, fun and intelligent. We got on fine and I have to admit I enjoyed the night very much. She got my number from one of them and phoned me and asked if I'd be interested in going out this weekend and I just recoiled back and politely shut the call down. I was kinda blindsided, I just didn't see it coming. I was surprised myself at my reaction. But there was no way I was doing that. The whole thought of starting a new relationship just sent a shiver down my spine. I can't really say why either. I have not been single that long and my wife and I parted by mutual agreement. I have never really been alone and I think I'm just enjoying chillin out.
Eventually she would have robbed you from your newly found peace and happiness, good choice.
30 years your junior, and I'm already seeing this whole dating game for what it is and the unfortunate consequences. When you get past that point of dejection, defensiveness, regret, etc from turning away to everyone's surprise, you just feel serenity. No more PUA or feminist lies. People's whole personalities 75% of the time revolve around insincere relationships and that freedom you get knowing how both sexes really see each other is priceless. No more lies.
Enjoy your new freedom 😊!
@@mercere2948
I am 60 dude ..he speaks the truth
I however would have smashed her then dashed...
By the way the peace part is awesome
Shiver down my spine
Thats gold brother & so true...
She makes women sound like emotionally stunted children
...and she's not wrong...
At least dogs are loyal...
I think a lot of women are more like cats
@@thecurrentmoment - yeah, shedding all over the place and spraying the furniture
dogs are property they would leave if they had autonomy.
@@nitacollins3645Actually they won’t because they are loyal.
@@riffraff521 yeah buy an infant girl and care for and groom her youll have the same love slave you want.
In our 50's, I dated a fairly attractive woman whom I just met on a dating site, and in our conversation she let me know how disappointed she was that the men she has been meeting just did not "impress her", that she wanted to be pursued and spoiled by the man that was courting her. I told her that was how life was when we were in our 20's, when testosterone drove and motivated all that courting energy. But now in my 50's, with a lower level of testosterone driving me, and many more low-effort options, I asked how she thought she was "impressive to a man"... she was totally puzzled and speechless... I am also an entrepreneur, and I got the very distinct feeling that many single women (in their 40's and 50's) don't realize their "customers" (single, eligible men) are changing and they don't realize it. Like a business owner, women need to be keenly aware of the changes in their environment...
What motivated us was knowing that there was something good on the other side of the tunnel. That all the effort would result in a family. But today, what we have on the other side of the tunnel is a woman divorcing because she's bored and sending us to jail if we don't pay alimony and all that stuff. I have a healthy diet and pretty high testosterone, I pursue women in other countries. Western women are 304s, and are good just for 304ing. They aren't worth pursuing as wives anymore.
Great story !👍So true.
Women that age don't seem to be able to accept that their value has dropped a great deal. That is not the same as having been in a relationship with a woman long enough that she is your partner into the 50's etc. But starting from fresh with a jaded older woman? You would have better odds just playing the lottery.
"Emotional labor and time investment" is woman speak for "Let me find the tools for gaslightling and manipulation". I'm not interested. I have better things to do.
They themselves have changed. Part is from age and fairly inevitable. Part is self inflicted, physically and the character they cultivate. The overall result is they are expecting to buy the same goods and services with devalued currency. Many are obese and/or obnoxious and demanding. Why the hell would a guy want to be with that? His peace is not possible with such a person.
Now, if they keep themselves fit and cultivate an enjoyable personality and exercise understanding the man and bringing him joy, their value as a companion could actually increase. But in western societies today, such a woman has become the exception.
From my perspective, I do believe that it becomes an emotional "effort" when your partner is emotionally unstable and causes constant drama. I truly believe that men have no problem investing in a relationship, nor do we have problems being emotional and open. What's tiring to us is the constant struggle in our own home and in what should be the closest relationship in our lives. Men value peace and harmony and if the relationship does not bring those and sustain them....then the relationship is not worth the hassle and more and more men are waking up to this. Men prefer to relate and invest in relationships with feminine, supportive, gentle, and kind women.
marriage counseling??? lmfao. find a good lawyer bud, its over.
At 33, I look back at all the girls I had a chance with, pursued, texted, dated, hooked up, or had a friendship with. Majority are single mothers or divorced. This isn't exaggeration or hyperbole. 90% of them are single mothers or divorced. Almost every single woman was never worth the time or the effort. And I'm glad they never really pushed for a relationship with me, because I would be in bad financial shape. So I take it as a blessing that I am still single, and that they didn't see me as an option.
The only way I'm getting married is if she is Catholic and signs a prenup. I've worked too hard, and been through too much bullshit since I was 16 and nobody is taking 17 years of my hard earned money from me.
Like I said 90% of the girls I came across in my life (outside of family) are single mothers or divorced. You know "men are trash, it's men's fault". No. Those women created this environment. And now they can live with it. What's mine is mine, and will stay mine. I'm open to a relationship and marriage. But it needs to be a woman with traditional values.
That attitude was also pushed on women by feminism, Hollywood, and so on.
As a traditional woman, you don’t really sound like a traditional man. Also doesn’t it say a lot about you if all the women you had didn’t try to pursue a relationship with you?
I’ve met many guys like you and they say the same thing, want a traditional woman that’s Catholic (in my case Christian). The thing is men like you are used to dealing with a type of woman but when a true traditional woman is presented 1) you treat her like you treat the rest 2) you run because it actually takes time and work, and the woman you are used to don’t require that, so many guys like you run 🏃♂️. 3) become bitter because you want a high value woman but you yourself are low vibrational and don’t want to put the work in to heal and grow
Not saying you would do this because I don’t know you but from what you wrote, you sound like many guys I’ve known.
@@guitarsinger1231Did you not read my post? I dodged many bullets. If they are all divorced and single mothers, that says a whole lot about me. I’m still whole. Being combative, lying, manipulative, that’s not on my end. That’s them. And in my reality that’s the way it is. Can’t change it. Have to move on a grow from it.
High value isn’t appearance and financial. It’s the intangibles. Honesty, loyalty, respect, ability to cooperate. Its so very simple to treat people this way. But It’s very difficult to find in a society that’s hyper selfish/narcissistic.
Don’t sign anything, the union has nothing to do with the state, problem solved. That’s if you want to wife a woman or some women up.
You’re 100% spot on and why majority of men have gone MGTOW and ‘passportbros’ ! A relationship today with western women isn’t worth it !
You are Absolutely right!
Forget it’s not worth it it’s no longer a consideration period 😂she’s wasting her time with this video but I’m sure post wall she’ll get some simps posting
The juice ain't worth the skills
The juice ain't worth the squeeze.... correction
Relationships is like a part time job. Do I want a job on Saturdays and Sundays?
When I first started working, they would ask who wanted to work late. It was always the older married guys who just loved the overtime. Years later I figured out that they just didn't want to go home. And now I totally get it....🤣
Additionally, when I was single I would live for Fridays and the upcoming weekends. Now Married w/kids I get excited for Sunday nights knowing I’m rolling back into my work week…
Appeasing/managing the emotions and logistics of women and children is exhausting
@will7its: Lmao🤣😂I've noticed the same!
All the married guys at my job seem to *WANT* to be at work. Meanwhile, I can't wait to get out, lol.
They go home to nagging and drama. I go home to peace😁
@@6193drizzle I'm sorry dude. I *ALMOST* had kids with one of my exes. When I look back, I know that would have likely been the biggest mistake of my life (No offense intended bro. I'm sure you love your kids. I'm just saying the "married with kids" life seems exhausting and stressful. It's just not my cup of tea).
@@6193drizzle Welcome to manhood. You will be rewarded.
When I worked on an offshore oil rig we worked a 7 days on 7 days off schedule. There were guys who when it got close to time to go home they made plans among each other to go on fishing or hunting trips so that they didn't have to spend more than a day or two with their wives.
I got married in 1989. I’ve experienced 34 years of misery. I hate every day of it.
Cheaper to keep her right pal, keep grinding
WOW how did you stay in the marraige for 34 years that sir is a long time to be miserable.
This is the best relationship video on the Internet. You've explained it all right here, and exactly why I've never married and happy about it.
You're spot on when you say women don't have to give up anything to be in a relationship. Most bring little or nothing to the table. They think 'they' are the prize.
This is very true. Being a man with options, I need something special to invest. The other night I was out with a group and a woman (who obviously liked me) said - almost crying - "I just want someone to love me for who I am!" And I've been thinking: If so, what do you have to give to a man? Being an entrepreneur, always doing stuff, what are you prepared to invest in him? Or do you just expect this high-value man to hover around you, love you and lift you, without getting anything in return?
A lot of modern woman can't offer much
It's hard to understand that a man doesn't want a woman's love. Maybe choose wisely. Not immaturity
Thank you for your comment.
This leads to the question what do men want from women. I'll make that video now and welcome your response.
@schahrzadmorgan I'd also like to add that us men should ask what we're prepared to give to the right woman. It's not right for us to feel entitled to a great woman without being prepared to put in the effort. It's a two-way street.
Most modern women feel there presence and body are all they need to bring to a relationship..to get the resources and commitment from a man..its like sex is only somthing we get that they have to suffer the indignity of..most are walking condoms anyway with high body counts and gross attitudes about there part in a relationship..
That's really interesting. I never thought of it that way before -- women don't give up anything to be in a relationship; they want to be in relationship; they love relationship. It's men that hesitate, because it's a lot of work, and it comes at a price. Well stated.
I'm 38, and in my 20's women were very different than they are now. Something has changed and it has given most men (included myself sadly) a jaded view on the modern woman. I was in a relationship for 10 years, and then I left that and jumped into a relationship with a friend of mine that lasted for over 2 years. So you can imagine my shock when I went back into the dating world and realized "holy crap, women today are nothing like they were 12+ years ago when I was dating." It's like they're all expecting the absolute best man on the planet, and if you aren't him, then you're wasting their time. Well I make more money than most men, so I live comfortably now and just focus on chasing my dreams. I've set dating aside and don't find the modern woman to be a worthwhile investment of time or resources.
The internet my friend
Social media does to women what porn has done to men.
This happens to me too - I'm in my 40s now, and man, it's getting more difficult to pull the girls I want (the tight fit girls in their 20s). Not because they are demanding - I can meet the demands (cash, fitness etc). No, it's because they have become So DUMB. When did the education system get so bad!!!!
also, feminism is a disease.
Try imagining dating scene 35 yrs ago.....
@@willbass2869Well I'll tell ya this, right now we're seeing the men suffering. But come 20 years from now, it's gonna be the other way around.
After having escaped a quarter century marriage that went very sour but which I stuck with for the sake of our daughter I can say categorically "never again" ..... I've had almost 5 years on my own and I want to enjoy what time I have left without the fear that I'm going to get shafted again ..... being played physically, financially and emotionally isn't a relationship, but that's how many relationships end up.
ditto
Unfortunately, I've seen this as well. All the best to you.
@@vincemarshall8550 I Ditto that ditto
@@stevenphillips3466 well dittoed
Ditto that Peter.
Marriage and relationships are a one way street where men are the givers and women are the takers, the benefit factors. Thanks for reminding me why I'm happily single.
The thing is, the odds of finding a compatible woman these days are about 20-1. That is a lot of first dates that are a complete waste of time and money. Here is the truth: many women are miserable without having a man in their life, and when they do get a man they treat him like crap. It's like checking a box: "In a relationship." CHECK. Or "married." CHECK. Married women I have known don't refer to their husbands by their first names. They say, "My husband this, or my husband that." You see, they are not real people, they are possessions.
As a man, when I hear that I am making an an investment, I have an expectation of getting a return on that investment. I also expect myself to be able to control my emotions. Out of control male emotions could easily be described as violence. There are numerous legal and criminal ramifications to out of emotional control men.
Out of control emotions from a woman, such as reputation destruction or emasculation of a man carries no such legal and criminal burdens by a woman. In fact, the legal system in many ways rewards women for out of control emotions.
Yes sadly many men accept emotional outbursts from women. It isn't okay.
Don’t think of it as making an investment. Consider more as just making a donation instead.
@@schahrzadmorgan What should we do in this case? Only thing we can do is turn ice cold, ignore or walk away, because everything else will be held against us.
Bingo. I couldn’t have said it any better. You’re exactly right.
@@Gaphalor Yup. Any reaction other than that, and you’re the bad guy-“Why are YOU being so mean to ME.” They’ll turn it around on you and play the victim card.
Feminism has ruined American women. It's sad really. I VERY much enjoy caring for, providing for and protecting the women who have been in my life. I love treating my woman like a queen! But getting a woman to in turn treat me like a king is a battle, and often just not worth it. I have to operate at a high level to maintain my lifestyle. I need someone to look after me on my downtime, not someone to battle with.
We need to treat ourselves like kings, first and foremost! Men, KNOW YOUR WORTH! WE ARE THE PRIZE!!!
NEVER treat a woman like a queen, all you do is bolster their sense of entitlement. SIMPS treat women like queens.
Until today's modern women have a massive paradigm and abandon feminism and go back to traditional traits and ideals, it just does not behoove men today to get involved in a relationship. Women today will not bring ANYTHING to the table, yet requires men to build, set and fill the table themselves.
The level of selfishness and narcissism of todays women are off the charts, and men are right in avoiding women today.
@@liverpoolscottish6430 Not true! Specifically if she's doing eveything a feminine woman should be doing, then she's worth it! That's a great relationshiop. It's not simping to care for a woman who's caring for you. It's simping if you're spoiling a woman who brings nothing to the table hoping that she will do something for you.
@@GUITARTIME2024 You're not understanding my statement. My treatment is a reward, a reciprication of how she treats me. I don't worship, chase, or simp on women at all. If she treats me like a King, she deserves to be spoiled. We both should be treating each other well.
I didn't know this was going to happen until my grandparents told me what most women in their time needed (1980's) when I was born in 1990, I thought it was pretty normalized until my grandfather told me at 2000 that women are demanding emotional labor/support every time, a man can't keep up with it, money will always be the problem because some woman wants everything with little work being done, and what's worse you'll have to work your ass hard to "prove" you want her, even if you did just enough, it never will be for her. Took that to heart and I see most women aren't even worth the time/investment when you'll always be compared to someone else. Focus on you kings and you'll be able to have the life you wanted w/o a woman on your side, it's *them* that needs us that much.
That's because back then they actually had stuff to keep them occupied, nowadays they have dish-washers and washing machines that turn all that labor they'd spend all day doing into mere minutes a day and giving them too much free time which in the last few years can be spent on social media where they get constant and unending validation from thousands upon thousands of men from any and every corner of the world. No one man can compete with all of that.
I'm in my 50's. I've been divorced for several years. My son is grown and off living his life. I've found happiness being by myself. It's not worth the investment that is required. Total freedom! No compromises and no drama.....
Yes! Me too 😊🙏 I'm a woman though but totally agree
Thank the Lord I had that with my Kazakhstan born Russian wife. She loved her family, spent most of the weekend cooking for us and physically was always there for me. She passed away two years ago and I know there is no replacing her. And as I look around me here in the midwest - most of these Western and Westernized women are absolutely repugnant. Great video.
Go back to a better country than this one. There are so many. Shaking your head at all the terrible local options will not make the problem go away. Unless you are willing to accept someone new you won't go and get it.
@@jamesmedina2062 no thank you Chief. Not going back to Russia. My daughter and I are fine just here 😂
@@JL03241 To meet somebody is like going to the store. People hop on a plane and fly, arriving within hours. Central Americans and Caribbean people can be very nice. When the solution is not in front of us, we don't see it, but that's where adventure and curiosity can come in to help.
@@JL03241what about Kazakstan?
@@JL03241 Just continue to be thankful you had that experience. Wmn like that, don't exist in 2023.
The Puppy example is very good.
My opinion - Women want to feel connected but they don't want to connect. A man who has his own issues or wants emotional labor from the woman turns her off. So the man has to give and give but never receives (emotionally). The risk of being seen as weak or beta or needy or killing her attraction by really opening up is too high. The woman is needy for relationship but actually avoidant at the same time.
I think its mostly true. women provide emotional support and love but they dont like when you bring your burdens into it.
deal with your shit, and get love and sex, not a therapist
@@bobthebuilderhecanbuilditThat made zero sense. Just call them parasites plain and simple.
@@bobthebuilderhecanbuildit that seems to have nothing to do with what he says.
If you think what he says is therapist material, you may lack a great deal of life experience, or reflective capability.
23 years marriage and wife makes sure there is no emotional connection. I tried everything, thinking it was my fault. I am the only one trying. Took me awhile to see it takes 2 trying. I filed friday
@@TRUTHandLIGHT4809congratulations to your future freedom and peace of mind.
She nailed it about letting the guy have some time with his friends, a woman can do it too. There must be balance between the relationship and other personal stuff, there must be a bond yes, but we need some personal space.
I’m a 25 y/o man, who is fit, good looking, and starting grad school soon, which will secure a well paying career. I recently got out of a 1.5 year relationship. I loved her but she was a lot of work. I wasn’t without my own flaws as well, but the dynamic you described is so true. She was very needy, clingy, and relied on me heavily to help her emotionally regulate and always needed more emotional connection. No matter how much I changed it wasn’t enough. My word of advice to women is that if you want a driven man, you need to allow for him to stay on his purpose and keep his hobbies, and accept that he needs that to show up as his best self, for you, and your potential family together. If you don’t do that, and he is a man that has options, he will walk away one day, because of how emotionally draining that dynamic eventually becomes.
Thank you for providing from a Mans Perspective .
I am manager at work so when I get home I am physically and emotionally drained.
I tried asking for a compromise like, give me 20 minutes to decompress. I even bought communication and relationship books.
She was unrelenting, I had to end the relationship.
I was just worn out.
I get that. All the best to you.
I took on a second job so my ex could give up work. I was doing just shy of 80 hrs a week and got moaned at for wanting an 'hour in the chair' when I got in and always being at work.
Ladies, don't be needy.
@@Cocoisagordonsetter Yes, it was done so my ex could be a 'stay at home mum'.
After three years of dating and 48 years of marriage to the finest woman I ever met, I can honestly say that the greatest value she brought to our relationship was the bearing of three fantastic children.
If I could be 21 again, I would never marry. _Sorry kids._ I would be roughly $5,000,000.00 richer, I would have avoided all the headaches and heartaches she inflicted on me, and I would have been free to enjoy the numerous women who would have been available to me. (Based on personal experience, that is to say, all of the women who have asked me if I got along well with my wife and if I was thinking of divorce.)
If a young man today asked me for advice, I would tell him that only a fool would marry a typical woman today. Why on Earth would any man willingly enter into an arrangement that could be ended by the other party at any time, resulting in the loss of half of everything he had worked for?
Marriage today is a fool's bet.
I call marriage today a "high risk low reward" situation.
That's pretty sad shit. And that was the finest woman you ever met? Jesus, dude.
@@DiogenesNephewHe’s 100% right.
So it wasn't even worth it for the kids she gave you. Most people love their kids despite them being fairly ordinary if not problematic. They take so long to raise, yet most add very little value to the world. Thanks for sharing.
💯
I’m 55 and out of a 15 year marriage with my narcissistic/sociopathic ex, 4 1/2 years she drug out the divorce even after she cheated. I dated some during the divorce years and some quite a bit younger women but stopped dating a few years ago. I just see reality for what is now. I want peace. I am closing my business and plan on traveling for a year in my RV and deciding where to go or do after that. I don’t “need” to work. I am still open to possibly meeting someone but they would have to be very different from modern women. So far the juice is just not worth the squeeze. I choose peaceful solitude.
spot on, divorced in 2000, got my life back after 28 yrs, 73 now still moving on!
Modern feminism has caused men to stop and think. And as related in the video, many men come to see it's just not worth the trouble. Or a lesson I learned from a friend 30 years ago when he came home from a business trip to be informed by his wife that they were getting a divorce. Before the divorce was final, she wanted to reconcile, but he told me, "I realized just how miserable I had been" and finalized the divorce.
Be careful about causing others to stop and think, they may realize things you don't want.
I've been told I'm "un-dateable" and I'm imperfectly fine with that. Between trying to make the IRS and my boss happy, life is stressful enough. The sheer time, financial, and emotional investment is too much of a gamble in the U.S.A with the way the courts/judges view and treat men. Stay safe and be smart guys. Assume everyone is trying to scam you.
You just don't have emotional awareness and depth to be ina relationship with a good person. There are good women out there. Some of them are usually ina relationship with bad men
@@rusinhouston Yeah there are good women out there, 1 in a billion 🤣
@@rusinhoustonlmao nice shaming language at the start there.
I'm 62. Divorced 17 years ago after 22 years of emptiness and mind bending hell, why would anyone risk something like that again. Stop perpetuating the marriage mythology. I understand the younger men are staying single longer. Good on them.
You are so wise and understanding. I think you nailed it. Its a great video. A lot of times getting into a relationship with a woman it feels like I got a second job. She is like a boss. Im the employee. This second job must be done even during working hours and it is full time, meaning it is 24/7/365 job. No vacations... And certainly in this second job I don't get paid. Instead, I have to pay in order to get this second job called "relationship".
You made excellent points. You are very astute in your observations. Being 78, and having been married to my wife for 53 years, I have been blessed exceedingly. It takes maturity and love to make a marriage work, and to remain connected. Sharing our faith together has been the bond for my wife and I. I think that loving the Lord and putting Him first in your life has the effect of bringing Christian couples even closer. I pray that more men and women would come to faith, meet likeminded spouses, and get married. Couples who just shack up together have merely a living arrangement, but marriage, on the other hand, is a covenant and a commitment. Men and women have emotional needs and differences, and these factors are complimentary, not negatives. Just my opinion, God bless.
You're spot on about the emotional investment. And that's not talking and support. It's managing conflicts created out of thin air. Men fight about action. Women fight about inaction, when life doesn't match their idea of perfect. You didn't buy gifts when I wanted / call when I "needed" / open the door (that one time). No one can match someone else's idea of perfect all of the time, because it's in the other person's head, and people are fallible. Expecting perfection always leads to disappointment. Yet here we are.
“Managing conflicts created out of thin air.” ABSOLUTE 100% TRUTH!!!
“Life doesn’t match their idea of perfect”… 🤦♂️ Women are the ones who look for what is missing in a relationship and then obsess about it until it completely overshadows everything else.
@bazookacat8421: "conflicts created out of thin air"
You triggered my relationship ptsd...
I swear, they're not happy unless there's something to nag or argue about.
@@tizodd6 Managing conflicts out of thin air, that is the thing I really hate. Too bad I didn't learn to recognize it and walk away earlier but better late than never.
For me it is the lack of appreciation for the things men do. It's expected and when you bring it up you get the eye roll like it means nothing. It's very hard to be with someone who doesn't appreciate what you do. Men are expected to understand and spend a lot of time maneuvering around women's wants and desires and they offer very little. Im 51 and really don't care to get involved again unless it's with the right woman which seems very, very difficult to find.
@@steveos5112 What were the other 4 things?
It's true. women don't care about men.
@@theevolutionofthebear3093 (2) spent all the money (3) no sex (4) no sharing of chores (5) liked to get fat.
Brother, this is HUGE. Women operate in total comfort and security ONLY because we made the environment as such. And continue to do so. Western nations are basically a giant day-care that we operate and (most) women are the little bubble-wrapped children. They have had it so good for so long ... all perspective has been lost. The reckoning is coming though.
That's right. The attitude is one of entitlement. When you give and give, you don't deserve any appreciation, because, after all, you're only doing what a man is "supposed" to be doing.
I have found that older women often do NOT want “relationships” with men. I have no idea what they do want (when I was out there looking). I literally met a woman for a drink off a dating site and she mocked men for wanting relationships. I was so taken aback I could not think of something to say or ask. I found that many women were out there continually dipping their toes in the water so they tell their girlfriends stories. I remember ads on dating sites from women who essentially indicated if a guy was lucky, he would come in third or fourth in priority. Woman has her great career, great friends, great kids, her hobbies, yada, yada.
Women often say they want certain things like what is being said here, but in actuality, a man who is “emotionally available” they are not interested. To me, if a woman would give me enthusiastic sex and otherwise take care of me, I would do whatever it took to keep her around. I am not interested in casual sex but whenever I hear from women in a disdainful way that “all men want is sex” I roll my eyes. Yes, it is a biological imperative for men.
Why men marry …..FOR SEX PRIVILEGES …..WHY MEN WATCH PORN , FOR SEX Of course, WHY MEN GO TO PROSTITUTES ….TO PAY FOR A SEXUAL FANTASY DONE FOR HIM ….WE KNOW WHO MEN ARE AT THIS POINT .
Then, if men get to have biological imperatives so do women…. This is what I dont understand … you cant want sex and caretaking from a woman then expect her to not have a list of her own
Never enter a contract with someone who benefits from breaking it.
Thank you for acknowledging that men do emotional labor. We're expected to always be the pillar of stability in a family. To suppress our emotions as necessary to do whatever needs to be done on a daily basis. To remain calm and controlled when she freaks out, especially at us. My ex would openly confess to doing nothing all day on a regular basis due to emotional obstacles. As the breadwinner (a position I didn't want - I would have much preferred to be the stay-at-home and I expressed this clearly), that was never an option to me. I skip a day because I simply don't feel like it, and it would quickly be my fault that the family is homeless. I've shown up to work thousands of times intensely depressed or distracted by personal worries, and returned home after to fights or the expectation to dole out positive attention. It's an incredible amount of emotional labor.
You hit the nail squarely on the head.
Very, very well said.
You deserve to be able to take care of your mental health. I hope you got the medication and or counseling that you need.
@@christinefury1040 I got out of that relationship. That's all I needed.
@@christinefury1040 Medication or counseling?? You just don’t get it. What about some peace and quiet? Some solitude? Some appreciation? Some gratitude?
Being a union electrician in Oakland California. I'm not risking losing my 4 retirement pension, assets etc just for someone who makes emotional decisions. Emotional s fluctuate, logic is very consistent. Keep it casual
I have a couple of female friends and they agree with me as to why women should not be in politics for the very reason you mention. They make emotional decisions.
It's all fun and games till she wakes up one morning goes to the courthouse divorces you now she wants your 401k, pension, assets, and things you put blood, sweat, and tears.
@@brianbest6097yep. Even worse if you have children. That child support destroys a man.
marriage in the west is like strapping yourself to a timebomb.
@@Thomzz95 My ex is a 1 percenter, she pays child support, she thought that new man was worth dumping all the kids on me, she thought wrong.
I think your observations are really accurate. I'm retired now and I am not ambitious about building a relationship for the "future." I've been married a few times. Now I enjoy my life, mostly on my own with my pups. But I do see some happy couples who really seem to find great joy sharing life together. I would like to have that and I would be willing to offer a lot of time and attention if I could find it. But I just never have found it in this life. I guess I picked the wrong women or something like that. I just don't really feel optimistic that the really wonderful union I always dreamed of will actually happen in this lifetime.
After a nearly 14-year marriage I was divorced for seven years before I met my second (and last) wife. I am so blessed to have found someone who’s my equal and I know how rare our relationship truly is. I can’t imagine anyone ever replacing her and I do my best every day to reciprocate!
This video is a breath of fresh air. I appreciate your balanced perspective. After a 20+ year marriage with and extremely emotionally needy woman and the eventual divorce and financial and emotional damage, doing it again is something that is almost beyond consideration. The emotional investment on my part was enormous, but I did it anyway because I took my vows seriously but was rewarded by : "I need to find myself". Forgiveness is in my nature, but trust...that is another matter.
Happened to me and I hear this way too much. Women seem smart...and then clueless.
@@brianob1 they have been told over and over again that they are smart, much smarter than their husbands. That's the root of most problems I think...
@@John_Wood_ and it seems like they make spur of the moment decisions emotionally, then believe they are always right. No amount of discussion or logic, even when proved wrong, they wouldn't admit it or change their minds.
Not your girl, it's just your turn
The second you try and connect, she will think you’re weak. They always change. Don’t even bother.
As a more traditional male, I wanted to be married. My wife is a spouse, confidant, business partner and intimate other. After 41 years, I am always glad she is with me.
You are so spot-on ! I have been there and done that for 55yrs ! Now at 82yrs, widowed for 5 yrs, call-girls rock !
I just bought a fixer upper and I inherently know that if I were to bring a woman into my life right now, it would be a MAJOR distraction from the tasks at hand and I just can't risk that right now. As guys, we have to be very prepared to add a woman into our lives.
Major distraction now; major distraction later; major distraction always.
Sooner or later, your fixed up house will be hers, and you will get to see your kids at your apartment on alternating weekends. I've been there, done that. Let's face it, marriage is a bad investment on every level.
@@mikehawkins4752 yes, been there done that. it's fun and ok to play with the girls but never allow yourself to be without an exit plan 😎
As a woman, I can say the same thing. I'm starting a consulting business and I've been single for a while. I know that to start dating someone right now wouldn't be a good idea. Starting a business is a lot of time, and commitment. My point is an ethical person (male or female) knows that when they're engaged in a major project, perhaps it's not the best time to bring a new person into their life.
@mobilemcsmarty1466 And women wonder why men are afraid of commitment. We know that by committing to marriage, we are gambling with our financial future, and women will just walk away with half of everything we've earned without any empathy. They feel entitled to half of everything, and they have our antiquated laws on their side.They aren't making the same high stakes gamble we are and the divorce rate is over 50%, so it's more likely than not that we will lose out. It's a high-risk, low payout gamble.
I struggle with this, my girlfriend always tells me "You should want to spend time with me" when some times I just don't, really. I think she was a bit stunned when I told her at one point "You should want to have sex with me," but she agreed that I was right. Its give and take on both sides, but it feels to me that both men and women are socially conditioned to think that what men give is a "bare minimum" while women are well within their rights to set strong boundaries and limit what men can take from them.
As a man who has been married for over 30 years, we have finally reached a point that we can sit in a car or our living room and feel perfectly comfortable not saying a word. Men hate drama and attitude…. We don’t need(or want) to know how you feel all the time.
Don't fall victim to a girl's "backup plan" relationship where she's very very flakey the first weeks and you're just chasing - life is short, find someone who confidently wants to date, who really likes you and doesn't have a lineup of 6 other guys in the same week.
Mine had a back up plan,a single mom who had one in the friend zone,then I caught her on the dating sites but her plan failed 💀😆💀☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️💚
I, personally, have no time to be dealing with paranoia, neediness, being demanding, acting weird about sex or having poor hygiene, trying to be a man when they are women, withholding, wanting to have male best friends, wanting to go to Happy Hour with work buddies when they've been with them all day, expecting me to foot the bill for everything not matter how extravagant, wanting kids when I say I'm done with kids, not having their life together, smoking or being pushy, having floozy single girlfriends, being alcoholics, always feeling the need to challenge anything I say, having their owns kids and not being very nice to them...the list goes on but those are some of the things I just choose not to deal with.
You’re probably just not an interesting person or picked the wrong girl, my friends can’t wait to gone back to their bfs/ fiancé at the end of the day And I was the same when I had one until I realised how much he was using me as a bang maid while also working full time. Either you’re the problem or she is but don’t blame it on ALL women it’s pathetic
Poor hygiene?! What kind of women were you hanging around? lol
@@DeusExMachina50 you must be somewhat inexperienced with females would be my guess by your comment. You don’t know squat about a woman’s hygiene until she reveals it to you meaning after her pants are off. That’s when you know what’s going on. Most women care about their hygiene, true but some don’t and it doesn’t matter how they appear. Fact. Deal with it.
God bless you man take it easy you're exactly right
I keep telling people, latin culture is to beat their wives. Kind of making sense more and more
Yes, a relationship requires emotional effort, time, a lot of effort and - money.
And what do you get? Attitude , bs, limited conversation, distance and mind games.
Personally at almost 40 I enjoy the little things, video games, focusing on my goals, working out, being alone, getting stuff done, creativity, learning. I love life😊😊
All that strengthens and rejuvenates my mind.
I've never been married, never will. Been single for 20+ years.
And you will look and feel much younger and healthier and most married men, and men that are in long relationships, in your age bracket.
@@darrellsmith8197 so true
The problem when you get past your late 30's is that you don't really care about female "companionship" anymore. You probably have a career and hobbies that keep you busy. That's why you never see guys in their 40's looking for wives and it's why feminism is dangerous. Women think they can live it up in their 20's and quality men will still be looking to marry them in their 30's/40's. They don't understand how this is a bad deal for men. No one is interested in what women are selling once they are past their prime. You are the equivalent of the family dog.
Dating apps and social media have hollowed out and depersonalized interactions between men and women. For men, a date feels like a job interview. For women, a fault finding expedition where she looks for potential flaws, either real or imagined. Men know that they are one swipe away from being replaced by, what the woman believes, is a better offer.
I'm 50, no kids, ever married, and I fit into the jeans that I wore in High school.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha these 304s just eat.
Always nice to see a video from a woman who gets it. My most recent relationship of 9 years that recently ended was so emotionally demanding and draining. I was sad of course but I now have more time, money, peace, quiet, and freedom. I own two homes, have six figures in the bank, a paid off car, have my bachelors degree, I have a great social circle, keep in touch with family, and am in the best shape of my life. All that’s left is a job (recent grad) and maybe a dog. And like she said, I can always hire a professional or hookup. So umm why do I need a girlfriend again? 😂 my standards are ridiculously high at this point. And if I wanted kids, I can always hire a surrogate mother and hire a nanny to do the motherly duties. Men need to stop simping and instead, self-improve/raise their standards.
This sounds almost like THE RED PILL from a female who understands that man desires female company and/ or companionship but without the unnecessary emotional BS
Thank you for posting this insightful and thought provoking vid.
Well, you are spot on with so many things. My relationship with my ex started out great. We had a lot of fun together, sex was good etc. Then after a while the list of what was stopped or very limited came out. The first was cooking, no more home dinners unless I cooked it, (fortunately I had learned how when I was a kid), sex was to be on very limited basis, weekends were for housework and repair, etc., etc. Also because she would get migraines (which I sympathized with), every time we started a conversation it was like flipping a coin as to whether I would get the witch/ or the saint. Pretty soon it got to the point where I preferred to go to work to get some rest.
Yep standard fair for most men in a relationship that I know
Shes checked out of the relationship
@@cweatherfella547 When you say checked out what exactly do you mean? Is she ready to monkey branch?
@@John_Wood_
Yes...
you are 100% spot on here. I have been single since 2007 and love my life. After coming off 3 serious relationships I made a conscious decision to go it alone. In my past relationships I had some great times with the women I was with but always felt happiest when I was alone. It does take great emotional effort to be with women. Being single has been great. Over the years I have continued to build myself emotionally, spiritually, physically (training for 28 years) and financially. I have never had issues attracting beautiful women however when I can see that the woman I am seeing at the time is starting to develop feelings, I move on as I already know what is in store. For this reason alone, there are times that I will turn down having sex with a woman as I do not want them to get the wrong idea that I want something more that just sex. I feel there has been far too much feminist propaganda that has ruined the minds of many women and that is why I have to remain very picky with who I deal with. Not to mention the legal system that favors women.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
At least you don't just hit it and quit it. That's very painful 😢
@bassremix1244 if you are being sincere with what you’re saying, I thank you for the kind words. However, I am still a work in progress and not perfect, therefore I continue to work on myself and try to be the best person I can be. I think we all need to strive to be better than who we were yesterday. Life is short.
@taghazoutmoon5031I think the best thing a man can do is learn sexual discipline. I think if more men had more discipline in this area a lot of the poor behaviour from women would be defused as women would not be able to use their sexuality as a power tool. Likewise, there would be less women feeling terrible due to “hitting and quitting it” as you stated. Pornography has undoubtedly decayed society, especially the western world and has allowed men to have a false representation of sex .i.e removing intimacy.
@dreday77764 thanks for understanding. I don't think most men know how painful it is for a woman when a man sleeps with her after weeks or months of dating, only to dump her once his conquest is done, on to the next. Or maybe they don't care. Women aren't innocent either, but we're more likely to want long-term relationship and marriage instead of "hitting and quitting ". I've suffered from extreme anxiety and depression due to being treated badly in relationships. I've also made many mistakes in dating and was pretty naive. Once sex is involved, I get extremely attached to a man and he has all the power. It's like he has a remote control to my heart. Men need to understand this power and use it wisely, not destructively. You can make me smile as easily as you can make me cry.
This is the best description i have ever heard about psych differences. Early on i thought that only women in their 20's wanted to do everything together and were not secure enough to let the boyfriend go out with his friends.
And she's right that men are more easy going in relationships. A woman is always lookin to "set things right" emotionally. She says to him "We have to talk"... which is code to mean we are going to talk about you and how my emotional needs are not being met. A man is like, "I'm good!"
You are right. I feel like I'd have to give up too much for a relationship, and also put in too much effort, fir very little return. But on the flip side, why would women want to be homemakers, when they have to work a 40 hr work week as well? The days of the single income household are over. I think the problem isn't how women have changed, or how men have changed, but how society has changed.
This recently happened with a work mate of mine. young English guy 27, Engineer in a relationship with a Canadian girl. We were hanging out after a work party on a friday eve. When it got around 8. PM he said he needs to go home to have dinner, and his girlfriend will be waiting for him.
I told him what a wonderful girl firend he has, that she will wait for him to return home for Dinner. How traditional woman.
He laughed and told me, he needs to get back home so that he can cook dinner for her, because she cant cook.
Todays young women want a "relationship" and "other relationships" on the side that the main relationship doesn't know about. They're also looking for the next best thing.
100% accurate. I've loved dogs all my life, but will not have one as a pet because the "dog time" involved takes too much time away from the things that truly motivate my life. Romantic relationships represent the same problem. I'm 67 and have been single since my late 20's. I never consciously gave up on romantic relationships after divorce. But sometime after age 35, in pursuing my life interests, dating just slid out of my life, as it was too demanding with minimal rewards. Remaining single has been the best time of my life, as i have total freedom to do and spend as I please. For many, maybe even most men, romance is not worth the time, while pursuing life's passions and interests is always rewarding and worth the time and effort.
I love dogs too but love my freedom even more. I’m childless and recently started dating a woman who’s also childless. Sounds perfect right? Nope she has two big ass dogs. So she doesn’t have kids but she still can’t be too spontaneous and, say, go with me out of town for a weekend, because she has to see about her dogs smh. It’s frustrating
There's a lot of us out there who feel exactly the same way. The Quite Majority.
Turning 50 at the end of the month, and I'm on the same path. By 40 I called it quits. I've been out with a handful of girls since. Most are completely turned off, as soon as they find out, I have never been married and divorced. None of them had nothing to offer, they couldn't even hold a conversation. They would mostly talk about themselves and never even ask me questions to get to know me better.
@@mrmoe110 Why not taking the dogs with you for the weekend ?
I don't buy anyone that he is truly happy and centered and then goes to comment stuff on youtube to either lecture or warn others or find self validation. This also includes myself
True - In my past relationships, I got worn out with the daily emotional labor and restrictions on what I can do with my time. The work I put in on all levels was never reciprocated. I’ve been single for 4 years.
For myself, I am about to turn 42, and I genuinely feel like I just entered my prime years. Career-wise I have never been more successful and I still have a lot of room for growth. I still look 7-10 years younger. I even feel young and healthy. But more and more these days I think a lot about wanting to build a family someday and it just seems like an impossible future because, the woman I choose to have kids with needs to be the one I spend the rest of my life with. It sounds relationships like that don't really exist anymore.
I remember in my early 30's thinking damn, I wish I could snap my fingers and be 5+ years deep into a relationship because I feel like the early part of a relationship has so much chaos--I don't want to deal with the turbulence of every week trying to learn how we can both effectively communicate over what seems to be mole hills and not mountains.
Even in my current relationship, I feel like there is a regular assault on me as a boyfriend that I cannot meet her needs. There is a very real "me" aspect from women that I have experienced. All I personally ask from a relationship is respect, positivity, calmness and someone that is pleasant to be with, along with (at least somewhat) regular sex. In fact, I have had only one relationship where a woman did not ask for much, but I couldn't keep up with her pace--I just can't haphazardly throw around the word "love" two days into a relationship. But I swear it seems like you give an inch and they take a mile, where as men can easily settle into most situations and be comfortable, even content without complaining.
At this rate, I equate a woman's happiness in a relationship to the beat of a heart. If it doesn't have all the regular ups and downs, she feels like the relationship is dead and will either create drama or move on. Or maybe this just shows I am dead on the inside LOL
Or maybe you just pick out women with borderline personality disorder and you think that all women are like that. Change your libido. If they are charismatic and pretty high chance they have personality disorders
Due to the legal and financial risks involved, many men are hesitant to pursue relationships. The potential consequences are simply not worth it for them.
When Tom Brady get hit with divorce papers, the rest of us know we have no chance
That divorce seems shady... Came out of nowhere, no reasons given, her supposed new house is directly across from his, and all this at same time as meltdown of FTX which had given big money to both spouses. She's from a different country... Perhaps shielding assets
@@SanDiegoisnice Not exactly from nowhere. She was complaining for years he worked too much and when he went back for one more year she divorced him. I know NFL QB is a hard job but it is pretty normal for a 40ish man to have to work. I think she was so rich so young she doesn't know what normal is.
He lost all the money on crypto.
So she went whoring for a bigger wallet
@@patienceobongo Could be or she has the bag and the kids and now she can play around while she is still young.
"Women love relationships" . . . A woman's brain designed to constantly position herself as the center of someone's else's life, she believes that her happiness is someone else's responsibility so she constantly attributes her negative feelings to anyone other than herself.
Yeah Right ! If women love relationships then why do NOT get into them with emotionally stable men ? Why do they consistently go after losers and bums ? "Women love control" should be your wording .
Haha, good
As a young man I noticed that most single women had a boyfriend but most single men didn’t have a girlfriend. According to some statistics I saw recently most single women nowadays have sex on a regular basis, most single men don’t. Think about what that implies.
This doesnt make sense because who are those women sleeping with ? Aliens
@@yudollia What the statistics suggest is that a fairly small percentage of single men have multiple sex partners, and a larger percentage have sex very infrequently if at all. A benefit of women’s emancipation is that they can be choosier about who they climb into bed with. The bedrock of middle-class America as envisaged at the end of WW2 was monogamous marriage with a woman for every man. That paradigm is now broken.
This is the best breakdown of how men and women view relationships I have seen on this platform. She is so spot on.
First vid, new sub.. 68 yo male, divorced for 17 yrs after 20 yr marriage, lone wolf personality, introvert (recharge alone, generally depleted after too much ‘socialization’- work, dating, partying etc).. I think you are spot on (at least for me). Very nicely summed up between 6:00 to 7:00.. Thank you..
It's true, the morning messages are such a drain, it opens women to begin their daily nagging.
This is a conversation that’s happening a lot right now. Today’s women seem poised to tell men what they want and they’ll demand your time and expect the man to pay for “their” time out at restaurants vacations and etc. all the while she tells you she is a modern independent woman who says it’s 50/50 in the marriage or relationship. She wants to make most or all the decisions without the man’s input and the man is the one who pays for most everything. We always hear about what women expect or want from the union but the man never gets a return on the investment. Women want it both ways since they feel like they’re entitled to “date up” and hit the 1%ers. A lot of above-average educated, smart, and successful women are single because they want the guys above their class who are also smarter, educated and successful. But what these guys are doing is dating the attractive early-mid 20’s gals or are already married, or single and playing with their toys… So there it all is folks, gotta love it…
You described my ex. Wanted to be the boss with no responsibility.
This is simply your reality. I don’t really understand any of this because all the women I know around me are beautiful kind souls who work hard, but yes life gets to them and they need emotional support sometimes , what’s wrong with that?
The women earn just as much as men, usually more come to think of it but they remain soft, loving kind and bear the children without whining about it (obviously since you men can’t do that)
I live in London too, not some eastern country.
I think you have something to do with your choice of women too, it’s like if a woman chooses an abuser it’s something she needs to work on herself to make sure she can discern between a good man and a bad one, but men seem to paint all women with the same brush. Well, I’m sure women do that too.
I just simply can’t see what everyone else is saying. Most women just need to be loved and supported and they give back so much in return. In fact men are exactly the same. Not sure why everyone is so keen to divide men and women as if one gender is the problem
@@Natttttttttt😂🤡
@@ZackSuruOL, I know right? Western women are some of the most privileged beings on earth, yet they always talk about how there are no good men, or they have this ridiculous list of what men must do for the honor of having them spend your money.
@@donnix1192 but the problem is western men are the most privileged men on earth too lmao. You def don’t work as hard as men from third world countries. Stop pointing the finger at women so much and look at yourselves. Most western men are fat and lazy and spend all day gaming with Cheeto dust on their fingers lol. We’re all spoiled and want too much from our partners.
Pay attention men, this is pure gold, and 100% true. I respect this lady for telling the truth. I'm 53, never married, and so glad i never did.
I play Bass, race Superbikes, and never let anyone dominate my emotions.
Gentlemen, protect your M.E.A.T at all costs. MONEY, ENERGY, ATTENTION, TIME. Once they start trying to manipulate any of the above the get left behind.
I’m 53..never had a relationship..proud of myself!
Not sure why your tone made me 😅
Women nowadays don't understand that ''happiness'' is not a prerequisite to a relationship. Respect instead is essential, and modern relationships don't usually last long enough to develope that. It is also difficult to develop respect for each other when there is an overall lack of moral values in society. The point of a relationship or marriage is always been the bringing up of a new generations of humans. Man and Woman with similar values that take the responsability to build a family, nobody ever said that you have to be the happiest person on heart, but you better take your children and raise them as decent human beings.
Men look for a woman who will be their closest friend and bring laughs and sex and great shared experiences to their life. Men want a happy and relaxed home life. Women have extreme ego needs and will put those above happiness or friendship. Many openly state that they don't want a friend. They want a man as a commodity who will give them things they want and be there when they want. Another thing to understand is a woman's idea of "emotional support" may be quite toxic. A woman getting home from work every night and spending an hour dumping her workday angst on her partner is abusive behavior but very common. Demanding that a guy give up his interests to share in the woman's interests is just selfish. The cooking thing is questionable. Most guys can cook for themselves past a certain age. The cooking thing can be misused as well. A man may just want pizza and sex but the woman spends hours cooking some fancy meal (because she enjoys cooking) that she demands that he be grateful for then falls asleep on the couch while watching a moronic reality TV show. She got what she wanted out of the evening and she feels that the man owes her for her efforts. A woman may also use sex as a bargaining chip in a relationship or decide that she isn't interested in sex anymore and that the man shouldn't have sex with anyone else. The woman may also push to spend money on flash restaurants and expensive holidays that the man doesn't really want. So a man can be forgiven for coming to the conclusion that a woman, as a relationship package, is just a bad product. She costs too much and delivers too little. If he marries her, she might later decide that she's "not fulfilled" and call in lawyers to clean out his finances while all her friends cheer her on. Anyhow, it's not about men dodging emotional labor and time investment. It's about women actually understanding what men want. The cold truth is that many women do understand but they choose their own immediate ego gratification over such concerns. What do I mean by ego gratification? Women like to compete with other women. All the clothes, jewelry, expensive shoes and designer handbags they crave are to impress other women or outshine them by getting more attention. That stuff has nothing to do with men. The expensive holiday is so that they can brag to other women about it. This toxic and materialistic female culture also makes women a bad product. Finally, women need drama in their lives to feel emotionally fulfilled. Men don't. Men find it stressful and want nothing to do with it. That issue alone can make women a terrible product. Why would a man invest in a terrible product? If he can't find a woman who honestly wants a best friend and lifetime lover then he should have hookups, masturbate, pay for sex services and also enjoy long term friendships with men and women. If a man wants more drama and challenges in his life then he can buy a vintage Italian car. If he needs something demanding then he can buy a puppy.
You are describing toxic women. I am not familiar with those types, as they are as repulsive as the MGTOW guys in the comments.
My video is about emotionally healthy women who make their own money. These women are also requiring an emotional investment, although the investment is well worth it.
@@schahrzadmorgan Thank you for your measured response. I just thought that I'd contribute to the discussion and offer a different perspective. I thought that your video was very optimistic but, perhaps, did not consider what a woman SHOULD NOT offer a man. You talked about men investing time and emotional labour and wondered what women could offer in return. I made the point that it is what women *actually* offer in relationships that is the problem. I would not use a label like "toxic women" to confine these behaviors to a small group. These toxic behaviors (and more) are common with contemporary women and there is a sense that women are entitled to act any way they want because their needs are sacred. I am not remotely claiming that men are without faults. I am simply saying that the negative aspects should be considered if a woman wants a relationship to last (or even to begin). I'd welcome your thoughts and opinions on the idea of what women shouldn't offer a man and an honest discussion of female objectives when starting a relationship. What do women really want out of a relationship and do they tend to be honest about their objectives? What is your opinion?
Well said. That certainly resonates with my experiences. I’ve got no effort or interest left in me to pursue a relationship. I’ve given it all away and come up against brick walls every time. Also I’ve never been happier than now with no woman to demand everything, give nothing.
@@schahrzadmorgan you mean you are one of those toxic types
Perfect description of 80% of 2023 relationships. (99% with the very attractive ones)
👑🍻👏
There are plenty of men who want a relationship. They just don't want to become a permanent babysitter to a needy, self entitled, unfaithful child with our legal system to back them up when they are finished using the man. What men want is a faithful partner who will love and be there for the man as the man will love and be there for her, no matter the difficulties that come along in life.
"Invest emotionally into the relationship" becomes a very oneside perspective and goalpost moving target over the years and over weeks even.
Thats where lots of issues begin.
The minute I started getting my life together and had stuff going for me, women started coming out of the woodwork.
But also my almost desperate desire to have a relationship disappeared, it's almost as if women only want the man that doesn't need them. Well either way, I had so much less emotional turmoil as a result. I'm not built for it 😂
I think men are tired of bending to women's demands and have realized how much more peaceful it is to be alone. I know I am much more relaxed without my exe's needs being my responsibility. And let's face it sex rarely happens after being married for a short time, so once that's gone, there truly is no need for women since they no longer bring anything else to the relationship.
Well said, my soon to be ex wife is useless around the house and the sex stopped a while ago. Nothing but a dead weight and emotional drain.
Never been in a relationship, im 53, I learned from friends who I car pooled with. For hours in traffic I had to listen, and listen, and listen...
I can relate so much to the message of this video. I considered dating after my divorce, but became disinterested after a few missed connections. I'd come to recognize that I was fine going it alone and the longer I've been alone, the happier I am. At this point, I feel I'd need to compromise far too much for a relationship.
Great video, finally a woman who understands men and the plight we face. You analyse and explain everything well and you don't sugarcoat it for the ladies. A woman who tells it, like it is.
....and it's not good to get a woman.
I see no women in the comment section 😂
What women needs to give is peace in a relationship. What she gives up is the knee jerk, undisciplined emotional outbursts and complaints. She needs to be self aware and channel the negative into something positive. The easiest thing to do is complain, but it takes discipline to do something about it without all the anger and gruff. Too many modern women don’t have this ability and they stupidly feel invalidated if they can’t complain incessantly to their partner who is generally thinking “why can’t you shut up and solve your problems, you petulant child?”
That is my biggest problem with women. They dont use women for their emotions. Talk to women about your problems. I think the issue is other women dont want to hear their problems either. Women force men to listen to their bullshit that they should be saying to their moms and female friends. Speak to us men about the REAL important stuff and save the fluff for other women.
@@Malcolm_LaFlare Agree. I have my wife's sister on speed-dial. Any time she starts complaining I dial and hand her off.
@@markwalmsley5741 yes !
Get a woman and lose your peace. FACT
What are you all doing to maintain the peace with her ?
This video is great - more perceptive and reflective of reality about men/women relationships than I have seen from anybody else. I have just a couple of quibbles with this video: 1) Cooking. I can cook. I don't count on somebody else for cooking and I wouldn't even consider expecting a woman to cook for me more than I cook for us. 2) "As for women, we're built for connection. We love connection. It just comes naturally to us." Well, OK, women may be more connection-attentive, but it's mostly in the way they perceive connection should be. However, every woman that I've known overestimates her abilities of connection, listening, empathy, understanding, and straight-forward communication. That leads to most relationship conflict and drama. Men hate that. Men aren't mind-readers and neither are women.
The unfortunate truth is that the majority of women will never have this level of awareness.
I think you pegged it. What is work for him is a goal for her. She gives up very little to get what she wants, but he must re-organize his life around her needs.
Then there is the ironic part that even if he does these things for her, her commitment to him may be conditional, and when she finds a better man, she's gone.
Literally everything you just said is how I feel about relationships. You’re humble, and know what you’re talking about here.
Women want to be taken care of.
Men are tired of the trouble. Women are not considered worth the trouble. We want things in return.
In my youth as an attractive man, I can not tell you how many times women would ìnitiate interaction & express interest in me. I grew to mistrust women in time after many potential affairs developed with married women. I had many attractive girlfriends & never slept around indiscriminately, but lost interest in most in short order. Now, at my age, I could care less about a "relationship."
Wow…you hit the nail on the head…I curiously watched this vid after reading the title and it was a revelation to me as to why I have zero interest in dating or especially a relationship…I am totally enjoying my alone time and being able to do what I want, when I want…and your comment about men feeling trapped was dead on…the ladies who are in serious relationships need to realize that their man would be lots happier if they just let him be sometimes and let him have some buddies, go fishing, camping or whatever man thing he likes to do…and No, it’s not cool to invite yourself to the man gathering…the guy who is only allowed to hang with his friends if his lady can come along, well that guy is miserable and his friends won’t let him forget it…the one thing you didn’t mention is that for men that have worked hard their whole life to build what we have, whether it’s an empire or maybe just the house we live in, we are in no hurry to get shafted by the courts if that new love goes bad…
59YO Aussie bloke here. I just stumbled across your channel now. You absolutely nailed it! This is a keeper. 😘
Oh, thank you.
We want relationships too, but women complicate too much nowadays. Women are behaving like a man must do all the effort while they do literally nothing!
The issue is what do women do with man's emotions. It is not just that men are too lazy to deal with emotions.
You're spot on with a man wants the woman to feel like a reward in a relationship. I want to feel like she's a reward not a complete chore.
Agree totally. 67 y.o. male who has experienced many relationships, and after years of trial and error, have discovered I'm much happier, secure, rested and wealthy without one for all the reasons you cited above. If a man really wants all that comes with having a relationship (or a pet, for that matter) he is more likely to want to accept the sacrifice, the service and responsibility that goes along with it...but that's not me.