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Why I (don't) want a relationship

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  • Опубліковано 30 жов 2020
  • Something intense happened to me on Wednesday which completely changed my thinking
    Update since this is my most popular video, 3 years later:
    I am now also available for coaching for those who want to improve their dating skills, fitness, mindset and other aspects of their life. You can contact me at:
    Instagram: / facere_veritatem
    Facebook: / levelupwithchriswolf
    #coaching #relationships #dating #psilocybin #psychedelic #love #loss

КОМЕНТАРІ • 225

  • @carerforever2118
    @carerforever2118 2 роки тому +266

    I'm glad I have chosen to be a single woman for the past 45 years, and plan to stay that way. I love my freedom, no drama, no fights with anyone!

    • @LOVEMOON21
      @LOVEMOON21 2 роки тому +8

      ,this is not God way. We r ment to be together have family love ..not lonley or alone

    • @nestroit5010
      @nestroit5010 2 роки тому +2

      God is dead

    • @cornevanerk9981
      @cornevanerk9981 2 роки тому +63

      @@LOVEMOON21 just because you are alone. Doesn't mean you are lonely..

    • @user-eu3qy8uf7f
      @user-eu3qy8uf7f 2 роки тому +14

      @@cornevanerk9981 Exactly. God gave us free will. My best and only REAL relationship is with him. After years of betrayal, endless misunderstandings, being sold out, used and abused, thrown out, kicked out, fired, laid off and on and on I got tired of human nature. I managed to retire at age 58, 11 years ago.
      I got my REVENGE on the worst culprits and stopped almost all social interaction-even family-especially family
      The pandemic helped me get over compulsive interacting with folks and after Christmas 2021 I saw the real TRUTH about family members and got some gratuitous hostility from others.
      That was it. I told my two remaining friends to F off and we're done AND gave most of my family silent treatment.
      I had a very occasional sex buddy but with the understanding its NOT going any further than that. He moved away and that's that.
      Others have tried but I smile and keep moving.
      I keep praying, meditating and enjoying nature.
      No drama, NO fighting, NO needing to explain, NO catching anything from someone else and no need to share resources.
      Peace that passeth all understanding

    • @Jenjenn1111
      @Jenjenn1111 2 роки тому +9

      @@user-eu3qy8uf7f Just seems easier being alone. I cut off family and remaining friends too.

  • @itchyhope.6782
    @itchyhope.6782 2 роки тому +102

    I've never felt like I needed a relationship as much as I love sharing time with someone that suits me, and most of the time that person is me.

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 2 місяці тому +2

      your in a relationships with your self thats all you need

  • @Agnethatheredhairkid
    @Agnethatheredhairkid 2 роки тому +151

    Never had a relationship and never will. Asexual and asocial and that's fine by me. I get all the love and respect I need from me. Have a great week, everyone.

    • @Agnethatheredhairkid
      @Agnethatheredhairkid 2 роки тому +1

      @Umar Yunusa The man I like has been married for 39 years, Umar!

    • @jgr9286
      @jgr9286 Рік тому +2

      I don’t think asexuality and being a recluse was what he was espousing. It was more to do with not “needing” something external to fulfill us. Having a partner in our lives, be that a sexual partner or just a platonic friend is best when we merely enjoy them without needing them. I think that was the point.

    • @cherryspice1011
      @cherryspice1011 Рік тому +2

      fellow asexual here and this is a huge mood

    • @thelastdaybreathinginetern1385
      @thelastdaybreathinginetern1385 Рік тому +9

      I'm asexual and aromantic.. I don't even want friends. I'm 28, and have been this way since I was 14/15

    • @Dousch
      @Dousch Місяць тому

      The more distance you have from sex, the more repulsed you get by it, and the easier it is to continue avoiding it, at least in my experience. I know what I taste like, let's just put it that way, and if even that makes me gag, I can't ever imagine sampling someone else's body and then having to pretend to like it (on a regular basis!) just to please them.

  • @SinaLaJuanaLewis
    @SinaLaJuanaLewis 2 роки тому +107

    This definitely resonates. I've long said that I don't need a relationship. People think that I'm crazy 😕

    • @Jeremy-iz6xs
      @Jeremy-iz6xs 2 роки тому +4

      Funny how people throw that word around "crazy". You know... everyone likes to call me crazy because I don't think like the majority of society. But I find myself thinking how much society and the status quos that entangle it is crazy. Just intrigues me how an intelligent thoughts and people that's not a part of the so called norms is deemed crazy. Look at Nikola Tesla. His ideas were "crazy" ...his views on relationships were "crazy"...his relationship with birds was crazy...so on. Now everyone is talking about him and not Edison. So not only says something about intelligence. It calls to action to look at society and why people call people crazy. Why would people want to create a view on someone else so intelligent and call them crazy for something as simple as not wanting to focus on relationships and focus on themselves and their goals. I can only come to one conclusion... jealousy. Not everyone can be a freethinker and intelligent as Nikola Tesla. So don't let anyone call you crazy for simply not thinking like them. Maybe society is the one that's sick.

    • @sjhaitianhog6047
      @sjhaitianhog6047 10 місяців тому +1

      Welcome to the club
      Edit: i get it, this comment was a year ago but still, all I'm saying is many people also think I'm crazy when I say I don't want any relationship and want to stay single.

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 3 місяці тому

      your not crazy your just not sucked in to the programing and conditoning like most people are

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 2 місяці тому

      because they been brainwash in to thinking everyone should be in a relationship

  • @tonika7543
    @tonika7543 Рік тому +39

    I’m 41 and I have given up on dating. I’ve been single for over 2 years, and relationships are just a waste of time, lack of trust, and communication. I choose to stay single cause I don’t want to deal with stress, arguing, and fighting. I want to come and go as I please, have more money in my bank, and set more goals for myself.

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 3 місяці тому

      i can relate to the lack of communication all my past relationships have been like that communication has been a complete dead lose
      i mean at the end of the day good communication is key for any every great relationship to take place without its its allways going to be a flope

  • @Xeenna60
    @Xeenna60 2 роки тому +52

    It's not that I don't want to be in a relationship! The Truth is I Always more at PEACE and JOYOUS When I am not in a relationship! No explaining! No complaining!

    • @teresachisom8041
      @teresachisom8041 2 роки тому

      Sweet freedom! It's priceless

    • @rodfrancis9160
      @rodfrancis9160 2 роки тому +5

      Yes, peace and joy will be reduced/gone in a relationship, especially if the other gets off on stressing/controlling your time.I don't do relationships because I get bored of a person's company after a few hours and I want to get back to my films,music,books,cooking,shooting and traveling.

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 2 місяці тому

      no projection no blaming

  • @tequilachanel7312
    @tequilachanel7312 11 місяців тому +17

    Amen “I’m no longer looking for love, I already have it.” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 2 місяці тому

      no one finds love by looking for it its never going to be my reality so better off out of it

  • @azaramoon4027
    @azaramoon4027 2 роки тому +64

    Ive come to the conclusion that we are meant to live in groups, tribes, not couples. What you said here resonated with me. I am terminally ill, but looking back, realise I was quite needy in relationships. Gods love is the only love that never ends, but we are meant to share with each other, I feel, to learn and grow faster. Thanks for this video.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +17

      Thank you for your comment. I wish you love and peace for each day of the rest of your life.

  • @SophieLovesSunsets
    @SophieLovesSunsets Рік тому +28

    It has taken me to reach the age of 34 to actually figure out I'm much happier single. I love living alone and I like my own company, and as others have already rightfully pointed out here, when you're single you have your freedom, no drama and you're not living your life to please someone else. While I would never say never to a relationship in future ... I would definitely never live with anyone again. I like my space.

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 2 місяці тому

      its not your job to please someone else in a relationship

  • @RedQueen1
    @RedQueen1 2 роки тому +22

    I realized that some time ago. Building relationship with myself gave me more happiness and fulfillment than any "romantic" could. I take full responsibility for my wrong choices in the past. My time is my most valuable currency and now I invest it wisely in people and situations. As you said, I want to, but I don't need to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts🙏 and I wish you all self love, it's a lifetime romance❤️😇

  • @rainbowtrout75
    @rainbowtrout75 2 роки тому +47

    as a young adult, I suffered domestic violence and continued attracting creeps...but as time worse on the calibre of men got better- but still, it was never good enough and left me unsatisfied. So I recently quit on relationships and have learnt to love myself instead. I am having a beautiful journey on my own, treasuring who I am and cooking amazing nutritious food- and my weight problem is becoming a thing of the past.

  • @BritBrat444
    @BritBrat444 3 місяці тому +5

    ok i thought i was crazy. i love myself and i’m happy and i’m doing great in life. so i just don’t see where a relationship would benefit me or fit into my life. i’m at peace

    • @daveo9844
      @daveo9844 2 місяці тому +1

      Amen to that 👍🏼

  • @dinaaa666
    @dinaaa666 2 роки тому +24

    Thank you for sharing your story! I agree. It’s refreshing to hear this perspective. The most divine love we can experience is the love we have in our own spirit. It’s waiting to be experienced, all we have to do is activate it.

  • @buzzcutbiene2211
    @buzzcutbiene2211 Рік тому +15

    My chihuahua gives me more love and validation than any man could give :)

    • @csmith8503
      @csmith8503 10 місяців тому +3

      I hear you. My cat gives me far more actual love and companionship than any human woman is capable of.

    • @buzzcutbiene2211
      @buzzcutbiene2211 10 місяців тому

      @@csmith8503 Yes, but mine scratches me too from time to time 😏

  • @carolinespence15
    @carolinespence15 2 роки тому +23

    I definitely understand this to the core. I have been single for 3 yrs and I have felt the most myself, free and at peace then I ever have.
    Alot of ppl keep asking me when are u going to settle down and be in a relationship. And I respond I am in one- with me. I think this is where alot of ppl need to start from.
    I feel at this point I would love to share with a partner, but I'm truly fine either way.
    I rather an authentic relationship with myself, then a transactional relationship just for validation.
    Thank you for this message, it is so wonderful to know there ppl that feel the same way.

    • @ricardodelacrvz1400
      @ricardodelacrvz1400 2 роки тому

      yes but one thing is being single because you didnt find anyone yet and other thing is rejecting relationships altogether and developing loner ideologies.

  • @jamesdeek7039
    @jamesdeek7039 10 місяців тому +6

    I love this.
    I mourned the relationship when my ex left me after 5 womderful years. It took me 2 years to move on, but recently im grateful that i was able to experience that level of love when most people never get to feel that. I did that, its off my list, now i can exist and learn a bit about self love

  • @deeh9365
    @deeh9365 Рік тому +8

    I used to desperately want to b in a relationship, & then I don't know what happened, but i suddenly found myself feeling happy & at peace by myself...i have a good social life, but dont feel the need to be attached to someone..thought something was wrong with me! Thanks for sharing.

  • @septicalfrogs
    @septicalfrogs 2 роки тому +8

    I’ve spent a lifetime trying to feel like I was good enough to be loved. After much rejection and neglect from my parents, being taught to seek out relationships where I was needed because that’s “what love is.”
    Love is so amazingly fluid and eternal. There is never love wasted on anyone. But I have discovered that it takes time. We need to take time to love ourselves truly. I need myself. I am the ONLY one who will be here through the whole of my life.
    Thanks for sharing this. ❤️

  • @ChaiTogether
    @ChaiTogether 2 місяці тому +2

    I really like what you stand for! I can agree with this. ❤🎉

  • @marykatherinehawk3530
    @marykatherinehawk3530 2 роки тому +12

    What a wonderful video. I’m in a place of coming out of a second divorce and at a place of just wanting to realize that all the love I deserve and need is already within and around me. This video appeared at the right time.

  • @oscarsaucedo1310
    @oscarsaucedo1310 2 роки тому +18

    my ex fiance tried to hit me I am happy that i'm not dating her anymore I am over her for good

  • @kawaiianimedrawing4703
    @kawaiianimedrawing4703 Рік тому +6

    My brother looks similar to you he's single all his life he's 35 now. He's celibate. Me too since age 31 pretty much and by choice. My mum too for pretty much 25 years. My other brother got engaged recently. I don't believe in casual relationships nor do any of my family believe in that. I understand everything you are saying I feel the same as you. I feel free now. I don't look for anyone or do anything to find anyone.

  • @JackieBaisa
    @JackieBaisa 10 місяців тому +5

    That really interesting to ponder "Why do I come pre-loaded with a desire for a relationship?" I've wondered that myself, but not quite that succinctly. I appreciate all your thoughts. I was single for a few years because relationships were just too hard. I mean, they were my worst experiences. I "retired" from standard relationships. I realize that I need different things. Today, I have exactly what I want, when I want it (a part-time relationship with someone I deeply care about) who lives on the opposite side of my country and who I meet up with every 4-6 weeks. The rest of the time is for growth and self-actualizing pursuits. My relationship complements who I am now, instead of me trying to fit myself into a tiny little box.

  • @stevenramdhanie3932
    @stevenramdhanie3932 Рік тому +5

    I love my own company i have no siblings and im all alone and i love it just like that recently i realized i dont care to be in any relationship with anyone cause its to much stress and being free is all i wanted .. i dont mind being alone and doing things on my own

  • @alwande8551
    @alwande8551 Рік тому +5

    Just got off a mentally and emotionally draining relationship of 8 years...the emotions and everything 😪 it was too much I got peace of mind and I am healing well...don't think il date anytime soon.

  • @lindabaric9434
    @lindabaric9434 2 роки тому +5

    Never saw this man before this is the first time hearing him but I`ve learned if a person tells you who they are believe them and I think this man just told us .

  • @OperationsMgr
    @OperationsMgr 10 місяців тому +4

    True love means letting go of external want of someone to find oneself.

    • @opticalman6417
      @opticalman6417 3 місяці тому

      most people are just going in to relationships to filli a voild from a place of lack

  • @Pacifica74
    @Pacifica74 10 місяців тому +2

    I think you pretty much described what all of humanity naturally does. Hoping to find a person out there who will never let them down and who will love them perfectly. You're looking in the wrong place. "For there is not a just man on earth who does good and does not sin." Ecclesiastes 7:20

  • @user-ee5om8wy7u
    @user-ee5om8wy7u 2 роки тому +4

    I never needed a relationship and entered into one from a want . But it wasn't still good enough because my partner didn't enter it from a want but from a need. So, I ended it.

  • @Wayner71
    @Wayner71 6 місяців тому +1

    I have never had a long-term stable relationship. When it comes down to it, I enjoy the freedom of solitude much more than being with someone. It took years for me to work this out. Painful years in which I felt like an outcast. When you get older, you don't regret your years of solitude.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  6 місяців тому

      While I'm now in a loving relationship, I understand your perspective also.

  • @martuskarogowska
    @martuskarogowska 10 місяців тому +2

    The goal of life, from a spiritual point of view, is to attain a state of unconditional love towards oneself, and to have the awareness of being enough. Otherwise, any relationship will always involve placing (too many) expectations on others. The paradox of this is that once you feel this way, the ultimate relationships will manisfest in your life.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  10 місяців тому +1

      About 7 years ago, a girl I was interested in asked me "Chris, what do you want to do in life?"
      I said "to become love"

    • @martuskarogowska
      @martuskarogowska 10 місяців тому +1

      @@busybecomingmyself A perfect answer! This is something we all should strive for.

  • @gyongyikovacs8443
    @gyongyikovacs8443 4 місяці тому

    The ‘place’ you are resonates with me very much. I embrace totally the fact that I AM love and just need to spread it to the ones my heart goes out to. And that’s definitely not one singel person. That’s why having a relationship has no relevance for me anymore. I’m the love of my life! ❤

  • @tequilachanel7312
    @tequilachanel7312 11 місяців тому +3

    As soon as life hits you and you find love and validation in yourself you wake up real quick a realize you don’t even like em like that lol

  • @Arlene_witha_y
    @Arlene_witha_y Рік тому +2

    Everything you said is exactly where I am.

  • @panzeralienofficial
    @panzeralienofficial 2 місяці тому +1

    The way i feel about is like what "the Weeknd" said in one of his songs: "I don't need a b1"tc# i am what a b1"tc# need"

  • @nikki4976
    @nikki4976 2 роки тому +4

    i am single,like my own thing,get men asking me out,but no,l just cant stand being pressured,everyone like you should get married,blah,blah,have kids,l am like yeah and look like you,always depressed

  • @ReadyToDanceAcademy
    @ReadyToDanceAcademy 3 роки тому +7

    Great video! Looking forward to more content from you!!!

  • @chadguindon6909
    @chadguindon6909 10 місяців тому +2

    Here are my reasons why I have chosen to live a single man, I have known this since I was 7 years old that I never wanted romantic partnership. Let's get into it.....
    1. Romantic partnership is expensive (buying dinners for 2, flowers and gifts)
    2. I'm not relationship/marriage material
    3. Too much crying, screaming, yelling, shouting, bitching and whining towards each other
    4. Too many cases of being controlling, abusive and ultimately violent
    5. Too many people lie and cheat
    Hearing too many stories with those things going on in romantic partnerships, I am so glad I'm not in those positions and being single was the best decision I have ever made.

  • @United_Wings
    @United_Wings 5 місяців тому +1

    I wouldn't say I'm asexual but I like the peace and freedom of being alone

  • @ryanarthur5035
    @ryanarthur5035 2 роки тому +5

    Inner peace for the soul and the mind is living without love is drug you can feel the high from it, but it can duck you up

  • @CreativeChatterbox
    @CreativeChatterbox Рік тому +3

    I have children and they can give me the love I’m looking for

  • @lyndsieannette957
    @lyndsieannette957 Рік тому +2

    I've always felt low-key pressure to be in, or if I'm single made to feel like I should want to be in a relationship. What I figured out is that the only people making me feel strange for not wanting to be in a relationship often had ulterior motives, like wanting to be involved with me.

  • @rodfrancis9160
    @rodfrancis9160 2 роки тому +3

    Decades ago my mobile ran out of juice and I was 2 hours late because of snow. Her indoors grilled me all evening asking why my phone was off and late...And I thought F to this crap, I am never living with anyone again and lucky I didn't strangle her,just to get some peace.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому

      I think it's possible to live with someone but I'd need to be able to state and defend boundaries about respectful speech, and that would go both ways.

  • @chrisgeigs6336
    @chrisgeigs6336 3 роки тому +4

    Amazing share Brother!! It is all within ...

  • @MaybejustNarbe
    @MaybejustNarbe Рік тому +3

    This is how I’m feeling. I love that I’m not alone in this

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Рік тому

      I made a follow up video to this called why I (might) want a relationship

    • @MaybejustNarbe
      @MaybejustNarbe Рік тому

      @@busybecomingmyself I’ll definitely check it out! Have you decided to pursue a relationship? Or are you still enjoying being single?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Рік тому

      @@MaybejustNarbe I have been dating a lot since I made this video, but I'm not going to commit until and unless it is clearly the best route for me.

    • @MaybejustNarbe
      @MaybejustNarbe Рік тому

      @@busybecomingmyself do you feel dating is satisfying? I’m straddling the fence regarding the decision I want to take, likely to pursue hermit mode as I don’t really even need sex or anything.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Рік тому

      @@MaybejustNarbe I love and need connection. Not just sex. I notice now that I'm getting regular sex i dont feel like dancing as much. But if I wasn't, maybe that would serve as a substitute.
      So yes, dating does feel satisfying to me, now that I know when to cut off people whose interests don't align with mine.

  • @LadyCamilleE
    @LadyCamilleE 2 роки тому +2

    We are always In Relationship with Creation, life and other.
    The central relationship we have is with ourselves.
    In our innermost world we find Love 💗
    In the most into-me-see moments.
    We are born alone. We shall die alone in this world.
    In between we embody Love. Love is eternal.

  • @hannahberlinpetry450
    @hannahberlinpetry450 2 роки тому +3

    It’s a good place to be in. I think the other work we need to do is be honest with ourselves and dig into the bad parts such as our sin (or just wrong doings if you don’t subscribe to the belief of sin). We can do all the work we want to get a healthy self and later, a healthy relationship, but if we neglect looking inward and confessing our past, asking for forgiveness when and to whom we can, and walking in repentance, we are just throwing a rug on rotting subfloor and when our foundation goes, so will our feigned “work” on ourselves.
    One of the best things we can do when we get back in the dating arena is talk about our past, especially where we were in the wrong. It is a red flag to me when someone I’m talking to doesn’t mention anything bad they’ve done. It tells me they’re trying to hide their true selves and that I cannot trust them. If we are Christians that claim to follow Jesus, He was very adamant about us confessing our sin, asking for forgiveness, and walking in repentance.

  • @redrunner3536
    @redrunner3536 10 місяців тому +1

    I appreciate your channel. I feel the same. I'm interested in casual encounters. They're on my terms, fun and a much better approach to a "love life".

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  10 місяців тому +1

      Thanks. I'm glad you enjoy it. You should see my other videos, especially "why I (might) want a relationship".

    • @redrunner3536
      @redrunner3536 10 місяців тому +1

      @@busybecomingmyself you're so welcome. I have. I enjoy your videos. Just found you this morning by chance. You just showed up on my feed. You're a male version of me. Wish you were in the states. New Jersey more specifically. Stay you.

  • @PeterB12345
    @PeterB12345 10 місяців тому +1

    Shit man that bit about love was beautiful. Tear in my eye, damn you!

  • @cici6295
    @cici6295 2 роки тому +7

    Single all the way!!😁💗❤💗

  • @Hiddenoddity26
    @Hiddenoddity26 3 місяці тому +1

    Im 21, but i already know I want to be si ngle for life. Romantic times are not worth the power struggles, arguments, insecurity, and conflict of worldviews.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  3 місяці тому

      I made this video in 2020. There are pros and cons to every path in life. But I would suggest seriously trying before deciding it isn't worth it.

    • @Hiddenoddity26
      @Hiddenoddity26 3 місяці тому +2

      @busybecomingmyself Sorry, but I'm just not interested. I am happiest when I am alone. Also, I myself have some personality flaws that would potentially hurt the woman I would be with. Admittedly, I can be selfish. Also, I'm not sure if you are aware of bdsm but it has become so popular, and I absolutely hate it. This is one of the reasons I want to stay single. I have no interest in fulfilling someone's fantasy. I always cared about financial gain and career fulfillment more than love anyway.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  3 місяці тому +1

      @@Hiddenoddity26 OK. Your life is yours to live as you choose. I wish you the best.

    • @sarbiewillams7217
      @sarbiewillams7217 3 місяці тому

      ​@@Hiddenoddity26Hi, I'm happy I've found this comment. I'm also 21 and I also feel this way. My friends and parents think I'm off lol 😅

  • @JayByard1010
    @JayByard1010 29 днів тому

    Now that I’m separating of my second wife of 5 years of marriage I realize that I don’t want to be married or be in a relationship I thought I wanted this but I realized I enjoy the perks the sex but not actual relationship part

  • @angieatvegas
    @angieatvegas 2 роки тому +6

    Some people can live and go through life a l o n e...not me, I believe strongly in love with a partner.
    Some people that are alone are bitter and angry, bcus it was not their choice!!

    • @johnnybrix5308
      @johnnybrix5308 10 місяців тому

      Each to their own. I think people who needs another person they may be emotionally weak and not spiritually strong.

    • @TREY_CHAMBERS_95
      @TREY_CHAMBERS_95 Місяць тому

      @angieatvegas you A weirdo then

  • @LuisGarzaHo
    @LuisGarzaHo Рік тому +2

    Sometimes you just have to find your mental peace

  • @e.paradigm7415
    @e.paradigm7415 2 роки тому +3

    I’m not going to lie, I want to be in a relationship, but I had a very late start in life. I’ve been working hard to catch up where I think I need to be in my life at my age. I have dated but I have yet to find a woman that I can really connect with or even relate to. I haven’t been in a relationship in nearly 4 years, I’m starting to believe that it’s in my area, but a lot of the women that I’ve met seem to already want an established man and I still have a long way to go. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +3

      Check out my other videos. I didn't have a girlfriend until 22. Married her at 24. Had a 7 year sexless marriage then got divorced aged 31. I had never even kissed more than 1 woman in my life. Now... Let's just say things are much better.

  • @maryempire1104
    @maryempire1104 2 роки тому +1

    I wasted 11 years of life on relationships I don't want to be in relationship never again

  • @jodifaber5722
    @jodifaber5722 8 місяців тому

    I love being single and i have also found self love these last 5 years i get everything i need from myself i do t want a relationship i enjoy my peace for sure

  • @timsargent5970
    @timsargent5970 10 місяців тому

    Not needing a relationship is perfectly normal and healthy in my opinion. I have absolutely no judgment for folks who want to remain single. Having said this, I prefer to be in a relationship because of how my partner mirrors where I need to work on myself. In some ways, I don't think I would get that if single. Of course I could see a therapist and work on myself in that format... but I've found having a partner has the affect of doing a better job!

  • @OperationsMgr
    @OperationsMgr 10 місяців тому

    No one ever measured up to my expectations of what I felt I deserved so every initial connection made was short-lived, mostly by my decision. The money. energy, attention and time to find someone then became too monumental a task for little in return. As time passed, I became more acclimated to this monk mode lifestyle. I became a social minimalist by choice, although I do enjoy the company of those who align in my thoughts and beliefs. Although I would not completely rule out connecting with someone again if the opportunity presented itself, I look at things with a red pill lens now, and will never subject myself to pursuit of another. The connection has to be based on mutual attraction and interest in one another and grow organically if it is meant to be. Only thing is - I have less time left ahead than behind, so time is precious and every moment must be spent with quality people and activities that are of interest to me.

  • @johnnybrix5308
    @johnnybrix5308 Рік тому

    For me, it's not even about the drama or anything. I just dont get obsessed or have the NEED to have one. I dont mind being in one, but I never feel the need. It's weird. I already feel fulfilled. I love this world etc, but I get scared because I feel something is wrong with me or something. Its really confusing I'm watching everyone get married and I'm thinking what exactly makes them wanting to marry? It baffles me. I'm already at peace.

  • @funicon3689
    @funicon3689 5 місяців тому +2

    i dont see the point of relationship beyond sex

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  5 місяців тому

      I'm now in a relationship, 4 years after this video. My reasons are: having children, receiving love and feminine sweetness, and companionship. I was prepared for anything but this chance was too good not to try.

  • @sirgigglez
    @sirgigglez 2 роки тому +5

    i got into a relationship and we broke up after 3 years. now i am ruined. 😭💔

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +5

      No that's an interpretation you're putting on it. You can heal, improve yourself and be onto better things.

    • @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live
      @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live 2 роки тому +1

      @@busybecomingmyself yeah. Just don't get into another relationship now that you've seen reality 🙂

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +3

      @@Mia-Taylor-Love-Live I'm open to the possibility. I date a lot. I even coach men in social awareness and getting dates. But now I'm much more choosy. And won't be rushing into making someone my girlfriend. Only if my brain and heart are fully aligned on that.

  • @reyangellopezmarquez803
    @reyangellopezmarquez803 2 роки тому +6

    You are a man very handsome

  • @opticalman6417
    @opticalman6417 Рік тому +1

    just becuase your in a relationship with someone one doesnt mean your going to get love and vaildation from them
    i have never had any of that from any of my relationships so much has been missing

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  11 місяців тому

      It's possible to have mutually fulfilling relationships but you have to be able to be prepared to walk away from anything that doesn't give you that

  • @jilldezsenyi7361
    @jilldezsenyi7361 2 роки тому +2

    And if its meant happen...it just will and naturally 🤓

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +3

      I don't think fate/god/the universe orders our relationships. I believe we are presented with opportunities and invitations we can accept or refuse. And I think it's perfectly possible to destroy a good thing. So I live each moment in gratitude.

  • @kawelle6019
    @kawelle6019 9 місяців тому +1

    How could you overcome those needs of validation and receiving love
    I'm still struggling actually to convince myself that i don't need to be in a relationship in order to feel complete

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  9 місяців тому +1

      By getting to know the parts of myself that craved it.

    • @kawelle6019
      @kawelle6019 9 місяців тому +1

      @@busybecomingmyself can you please share with me how you made them less craving it

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  9 місяців тому +1

      Please DM me or email me. It's not something that will fit in a comment section.

  • @iamsomeone8266
    @iamsomeone8266 Рік тому

    i have friends, and thats all i need. I just likr me. Me is perfect. Ibhave friends for the connections aspect. that is it rlly tbh

  • @franka6680
    @franka6680 Місяць тому

    Lately I’ve been wanting to stay single. I’ve been through shitty relationships and lately all I’ve wanted is to be alone no attention from anyone. There’s a girl right now who calls me every day and wants a relationship. Ive made it clear we should take it slow. But lately I’ve been thinking that maybe this is something I don’t want. Is this normal? Is it messed up to tell them I don’t want anything after investing her feelings?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Місяць тому

      Anyone can change their mind at any time. However just be aware of patterns. I recently had to lean into not quitting a relationship when my gut told me to run, because I noticed I would do the same thing at the same point with different girls. I always found an imperfection and treated it like the worst thing in the world. My fear was keeping me single. I now in a loving relationship, 4 years after making this video. See some of my more recent videos for more on this.

    • @franka6680
      @franka6680 Місяць тому

      @@busybecomingmyself my problem is I get attached at certain points during getting to know the person. So this time I caught myself I feel. To end it in its tracks. But I also don’t want to hurt their feelings. I’ve noticed my own loneliness is what made me get into relationships in the first place. My own expectation of what a men should do at certain times in their lives. But all that’s done is cause trauma and disorder. I sit here in my room alone. I come home to an empty house. I ride alone in my car. I go to gatherings and don’t feel like socializing. If I go with friends I don’t feel like I’m there so I don’t really engage in much. With this girl we was having a blast and I noticed it getting too deep so I told her let’s be just friends nothing more. But I just feel so empty and lost. Don’t know where I’m heading.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  Місяць тому

      @@franka6680 I used to do similar things and the possibility still lives in me. Getting used to riding out discomfort, not giving into spiralling thought patterns, and making decisions over months not moments is what helped me. Books I would suggest:
      Attached by Levi and (can't remember the other name right now)
      How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable by Dr Albert Ellis

  • @mimiearnest3346
    @mimiearnest3346 11 місяців тому +1

    Congratulations

  • @bxgxvxth
    @bxgxvxth Рік тому

    its better to be single my buddy you can explore , having fun and you can improve your way of communication with lot of people in the atmosphere and on other most important thing you can grow pets and you will look after them as your child♥

  • @ebonyjohnson758
    @ebonyjohnson758 Місяць тому

    I belive i played house for too long that i don’t want a b marry /live in no more im realized i never been alone & im only child now the 50 yrs old i want to time to self

  • @duniamaisha7695
    @duniamaisha7695 2 роки тому

    Ok.everybody has their own reasons desires.in the end it's you who matters your decisions

  • @IvanPolyansky
    @IvanPolyansky 2 роки тому

    Good for you man.

  • @jgr9286
    @jgr9286 10 місяців тому

    I found your video quite interesting but I have some questions? How do you define relationship? Are you saying you are going to be celibate or do you just mean that you don’t want any romantic attachments with commitment?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  10 місяців тому

      I was dating casually interspersed with times by myself when I recorded this. I made a follow up video "why I (might) want a relationship".
      I'm now in a relationship.

    • @jgr9286
      @jgr9286 10 місяців тому

      That’s cool. I wish you the best and hope that your relationship is very fulfilling for both of you. Thanks for the reply.@@busybecomingmyself

  • @jbc365gym
    @jbc365gym 2 місяці тому

    word

  • @opticalman6417
    @opticalman6417 Рік тому +1

    i'm not capable of love so are never bother wasting my time having a relationship with a women ever again
    and plus i couldnt get anyone worth having if i tryed no point longing for a love that not going to be recived or felt

    • @KantoCafe715
      @KantoCafe715 10 місяців тому

      Isn't the fact you long for it proof you're capable of it? I mean you can conceive of the concept

  • @DanielClementYoga
    @DanielClementYoga Рік тому

    I believe you.

  • @ironjohn5914
    @ironjohn5914 2 роки тому +2

    I have 2 hands and 1 wallet. Hmmmmmmm 🤔

  • @maceyr.6583
    @maceyr.6583 2 роки тому

    At the age of 21, dating is a scary thing for me. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому

      Why is that?

    • @maceyr.6583
      @maceyr.6583 2 роки тому

      @@busybecomingmyself I've been badly hurt in the past. That's the reason.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +1

      @@maceyr.6583 I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you all the best in your healing process.

  • @decentdeeds481
    @decentdeeds481 10 місяців тому

    So if one remains single, how can he be sexually healthy or satisfied without a partner?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  10 місяців тому

      I was casually dating a lot, interspersed with time focused on myself.
      I am now in a relationship.

  • @brain0nfire
    @brain0nfire Рік тому

    Good for you.

  • @weotalks2810
    @weotalks2810 3 місяці тому +1

    MGTOW 4LIFE

  • @601marcusable
    @601marcusable 9 місяців тому

    i don't want a relationship because the way women are today

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  9 місяців тому

      I keep making the point that it's really rare to find someone who has good relationship qualities. But it is possible. I have one now.

  • @Lucixir
    @Lucixir 2 роки тому +5

    I swear this was a coming out of the closet video....

  • @tequilachanel7312
    @tequilachanel7312 11 місяців тому

    Is it bad that I researched this video 😭😭😭 I just don’t think I can do it.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  11 місяців тому +1

      I think that's how most people find it. I did a follow up video a while back and most of my videos are in the topic of relationships. I speak mainly to men but some are suitable for women too.

    • @tequilachanel7312
      @tequilachanel7312 11 місяців тому

      @@busybecomingmyself I’ll check them out, thank you

  • @johnmoran7996
    @johnmoran7996 Рік тому

    Nope.not anymore.oh well.

  • @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live
    @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live 2 роки тому

    Is there a way to make sure that I won't fall in love?
    Please answer

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому

      The bigger issue is that you're afraid of it. If I were you, I'd look into where that fear is coming from.

    • @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live
      @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live 2 роки тому

      @@busybecomingmyself I'm afraid of it because I'll be confined and a major part of my freedom will be taken away and I'll have to bear a lot of responsibilities. At the same time my subconscious mind is pushing me for a relationship despite of being well aware of the consequences so that it can fullfil it's dezires😭. But I'm trying my best to oppose it

    • @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live
      @Mia-Taylor-Love-Live 2 роки тому +1

      @@busybecomingmyself thank you.

  • @sumaiahmayah3151
    @sumaiahmayah3151 2 роки тому +1

  • @natalie8105
    @natalie8105 2 роки тому

    Nice

  • @Steve-ArfArf
    @Steve-ArfArf 2 роки тому +2

    Are you Welsh?

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому

      Yes

    • @Steve-ArfArf
      @Steve-ArfArf 2 роки тому

      @@busybecomingmyself thought I recognised the accent but wasn't sure. South Walean here 😁

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +1

      I'm originally from Aberdare. But you could hardly tell now.

  • @jilldezsenyi7361
    @jilldezsenyi7361 2 роки тому

    Dont believe that...i mean some women think the same

  • @josermalavejr466
    @josermalavejr466 2 роки тому

    He'll yeah they need to be left alone . They treat use like shit anyway. I don't allow that behavior. But I'm heading to a 50 year old single life. Where do women get off talking to men like we are there son. Mother wives they need to be alone.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +2

      People only treat you as badly as you let them. I love women and have plenty of time for them. But I walk away from those who do not respect me or my boundaries.

  • @Sina8Hajarat
    @Sina8Hajarat 2 роки тому

    you should read the tenth chapter in jordan petersons newest book beyond order

  • @ericbryant2315
    @ericbryant2315 2 роки тому

    Sounds like you let some mushrooms decide your life decisions.. don’t seem too wise to me

  • @asdfdc1946
    @asdfdc1946 10 місяців тому

    relationships benefit women but they don't benefit men. its that simple & its actually not that deep. a lot of men are opting out of relationships, as they should.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  10 місяців тому

      Some relationships do. I eventually find myself in one 3 years after making this video.

    • @alanasmith6065
      @alanasmith6065 10 місяців тому +1

      Some women get exploited too. Also the rate of domestic abuse towards women is much higher. Don't let your bitterness and negative past experiences blind you.

    • @asdfdc1946
      @asdfdc1946 10 місяців тому

      @@busybecomingmyself which ones? a man can get everything he needs without a title on it.

    • @asdfdc1946
      @asdfdc1946 10 місяців тому

      ​@@alanasmith6065 "Some women get exploited too." --- its all about vetting. women choose the men that exploit them. they select for those type of men & those personality traits repeatedly. at the end of the day its about personal responsibility.
      "Also the rate of domestic abuse towards women is much higher." --- i'm not so sure about that. men get domestically abused more often than women do, but women's domestic abuse from men is just worse because men can hit harder. a vast majority of men's domestic abuse goes unreported because no one takes it seriously. police would laugh at men to their face if they reported that they were being beaten by their wife. in addition to that, lesbian couples report more domestic abuse than any other group. so when a man is not involved in the relationship at all, there are MORE physical altercations. i'm not sure what that says, but it says something.
      "Don't let your bitterness and negative past experiences blind you." --- sounds like projection. i spoke nothing about my past experiences. i never said anything bad happened to me. i simply said there's no benefit for men. why would men opt into something where there's no benefit? by putting a title on it, the man gets nothing. he just limits his number of partners & he limits his ability to leave when the relationship is no longer serving him.

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  10 місяців тому

      @@asdfdc1946 I'm not going to bring children into the world outside of a committed relationship because the outcomes for them are much worse.
      And my girlfriend has bloomed since committing to her in a way that she didn't when we were casually dating.

  • @ultimateoptimist5217
    @ultimateoptimist5217 2 роки тому +4

    You all need to get with God and read tge Bible. He has created us specifically to be with another. Marriage is a blessing. Find a good therapist and get right with God. You are all lost right now...

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +17

      I read the bible in Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic. I have a theology degree. Almost went to seminary to take an MDiv program to become a pastor. I've had therapy for much of the last 7 years. I saved sex until marriage, only to end up in a 7 year sexless marriage.
      What am I missing exactly?

    • @ultimateoptimist5217
      @ultimateoptimist5217 2 роки тому

      @@busybecomingmyself power of discernment

    • @busybecomingmyself
      @busybecomingmyself  2 роки тому +4

      Yeah I did. Which is exactly what I'm talking about in this video.

    • @swaggydaddy666
      @swaggydaddy666 2 роки тому

      God is an asshole...he created us to be with another n then takes away the person we love n leaves us heartbroken...i dont care for God cuz he dont care for me..thats all

    • @SomethingSomethingg
      @SomethingSomethingg Рік тому

      This is why I don't like Christians. Lol or Muslims because you people are too arrogant to accept that. Maybe some people are just happier living differently than you do.