Breakups are breakthroughs if you USE them! In this video, we're talking about how to let go of someone you once loved. This video's for anyone who can't let go of an ex, heartbreak, their past, relationships, etc. Hope it helps, but more importantly, I hope you take action with it! Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions [0:00] where you're at [0:42] why you can't let go [2:15] your secret to letting go [3:15] your first step [6:00] your second step [8:45] your third step
I have a BIG problem with the word "addiction". People throw it around constantly. And here is why: The word addiction holds so many negative connotations. Shame, guilt, etc. Anything one does to excess is actually self soothing, or employing a coping mechanism. We begin using these coping mechanisms VERY young. My oldest son sucked his thumb until he was about 7 years old. He didn't do it in front of anyone else, he hid under his covers, I'm sure feeling ashamed and embarrassed about it. Would you say, "He is an addict. He is addicted to it."? Of course not! You would never label a child engaging in self soothing behaviors an addict! These coping mechanisms continue on in life. In ALL manner of ways! Referring to them as addictions is only adding yet another layer of shame on top of it. This label helps no one, as a matter of fact, I would go so far as saying that labels are one of our biggest problems. We're labeling everything all of the time and a lot of the labels are LOADED with negative implications. (SO many times I've thought, "I wish I would wake up tomorrow and completely forget the English language!" EVERYTHING!" It would make things SO much easier! p.s. My 4 year old French bulldog also self sooths by sucking on his toys, is he an addict too? *maybe I should find a support group for him.???* LMAO! Just a thought, not actually MY thought, one that I'm observing...lol
Thank you this definitely helped I just broke up with my first long term partner this helped so much sadly they go to my school so it’s hard but this helps
The trauma from a breakup is at the some level of the death of a loved one. What makes it worse in a strange and painful way is they are still present in this world much like a ghost that is impossible to have them in your life anymore. This is why it is so hard to move on knowing they are still living their life.
I am forcing myself to play the hard game, telling my mind: "They are dead. Deceased. Cremated. Gone." Nothing can revive them. They chose to be dead in my world and the only choice I have is to let it go. Let go of this dream that never was and will never be. I can't change it. I've accepted: I can't stop the rain, or change the wind. Hold on Friend. You still have yourself.
@@johannpfouche There's always a chance they come back, but it's bad to bet everything on it, and make your happiness depend on it.. The best you can do is no contact and then let them contact you if they want to try again.. Otherwise just live your life and deal with the loss
Took me years to get over my ex i was stressed every day to the point i got ulcerative colitis, no one should feel ashamed to get the help they need to feel better.
@chelsea2711 it seems like we are only now getting the information on how much damage chronic stress can do on the body as well as the mind, hope you came through alright too 🙂
Have you come out of that difficult situation dear? OR still on that phase of moving on in ur life?? Let me know I'm gonna 😌 make videos on it to help you gyes 😊
If your watching this right now. You’re not alone. I just had a breakup a week ago and what hurts more is we are in good terms. And im still healing and trying to move on. Hope you will too ❤
@CaseyFrazAnimations I always got tears. But never for the same person. I cry it out and move on. Doesn't mean I can't cry again if I'm broken hearted again. But it takes a while before I can fall hard again. My guard is up now.
never knew how painful breakups were until til this first one. Always thought everyone was being over-dramatic and now im the dramatic one. She just broke up with me today, but im trying to use this as an opportunity for growth instead of decline. Good luck everyone, we’re all gonna be okay one day.
We officially broke things today. I feel abandoned. She was more than my girlfriend, she was my best friend. I feel wronged my her, and still I love her so much and would take her back. I know I have to move on though, but fk it hurts
All of us make mistakes when we're in relationship ,but if u know in your heart that u've done your best to resolve that, then just forgive yourself and also if u know that you've done everything you can and you've loved her with all your heart, be proud of that fact and take it one day at a time! Hopefully time does heal you!
She love me And I miss her every day sucks that we have a kid too I feel like I deserve it I let my emotions get The Best of Me and lost my temper. I'm sorry, but something in my gut and hin my heart are telling me she's not coming back. I wanna show her but I'm not the same but it's too late she tells me.
Going through the same thing here, we couldn’t have become what they wanted us to be unless things ended. Be better for yourself because it makes you feel good.
That is what has helped me move on. I was a good to her & with it not working out I didn’t have to deal with any guilt & regret on top of the loss. Just loss of one whom I genuinely loved. I don’t how people move on that are guilty of slinging mud & betrayal.
@barron5970 I assume you never dated? I need context to this. If you never asked her out then damn... felt... I did it and was rejected but hey at least now I know there wasnt a chance so I can move on with my life. Its better to be rejected than to go your whole life wondering if it could or couldn't have been.
@@gilbertorodriguez6203I dated this girl in middle school and broke up with her before we could even do anything so throughout the years I always tried to get back with her because we were really good friends and she always was petty after 7 years she finally gave me a shot after being ran through by many guys and it just hurts
@@priyanka3580I’m sorry to her that .. I’m in so much pain .. he just left in my worse time .. and put the whole fault on me for everything .. I dont know to communicate .. and I’m driving him crazy … after he said let’s be friends … that’s so sad ..
Not true, some people let themselves appear better than they really are to get into your life. Only then when you find out who they are eventually it will be to late and you will be heartbroken.
So what is the point in that? My ex was loving for 6 months. I met a loving person like myself? Then one day she went cold and left. I was suddenly cold to myself?
It doesn’t matter my dear … a person who leave will leave all the time … my ex boyfriend did that so many time I took him back .. I loved him … I will ask questions to him he will say I don’t want questions… I will start talking seriously with him .. he will say you have 30 min to talk no more than that .. your time is up …. Think about it my friend if they left yog is better now and not late ..
@@CarterMakesFunnies I’m sorry to hear that I’m going though the pain too .. I can’t sleep how much stressed I’m .. sometimes I feel like love does this to you ? I better stay without no one and not like this
It took me about 7 years to get over a 7-year-relationship. I went into depression, had bad acne, lost a lot of weight. It felt like being in a black hole filled with a dark mud I can't get myself out of. Ten years later, I still think of the guy but no more emotion. Exactly what I prayed for.
@@sitiimanina4.8 years of relationship my girl just broke up with me after texting a guy which she only told basically she was monkey branching . I was heartbroken and ready to move on but suddenly out of nowhere my gf apologised saying she was wrong and ready to make amends … On one hand I feel betrayal loss of trust and on other side my gf wants to continue on our relationship don’t know what to do😢??
@@sitiimaninasame thing here exactly. caught her behind the house with a coworker and now she’s filing a restraining order against me for stalking (I just saw the car lights).
I have the toughest time getting over breakups. I can't eat, my smiles are fake, I don't want to go on. I listen to inspirational messeges in hopes that some words will help. I go for walks and cry. I talk to the universe in hopes to ease my suffering. I've made the lists, I've made lists of the things I'm grateful for. I think of my family. I'm shattered. It slowly gets better, a little bit every day. Then one day I notice that I didn't think about it all day. Then the roller coaster of think/don't think happens. Finally, finally there is some relief. I can see the flowers and peoples smiles again. I carry the weight of my pain, and start to become someone different having learned from it all. It's the toughest journey. The only time I start to really feel better is when I can turn my attention away.
For me, writing down my thoughts and feelings on paper is something that has helped. Putting it down on paper helps me get it out of my head. When you're finished or begin healing, dispose of it.
Hmm, even when my ex and I were happy she'd cry, past traumas and things... then yeah, I made her cry later with some unchecked, anxious behaviour. Which i'll always regret.
"Break Through the Breakup: A Modern Woman's Guide to Mending A Broken Heart and Bouncing Back Stronger" "Breakup to Breakthrough: The Healing Power of Heartache" And hundreds of others.... That phrase is old af, and this dude is just milking losers, by regurgitating nonsense. 5 second google search for books... STOP LISENING TO PPL ONLINE. Deuces
Currently going through a breakup today. Listening to YT videos like yours for hours searching for help. Crying for hours. Regretting staying and so much more. Hoping this pain passes at a reasonable time. 💔
This was me 6 mos ago. I still am doing stuff but i cried lesser , im better than the time we broke up. Im finally ready to move on, he is right i deleted all photos and our nessage thread. I tried to block unblock so many times in ig. Just yesterday i just unblocked just so i can send the last message without expecting a reply. After he saw it i deleted it right away. I didnt go back to block him, i jist deleted my ig app so i can heal. i just browse all asmr reiki and anything podcasts that can validate i am right to feel this way. Remember its ok to do things for yourself so you can heal. Its not selfish its self care, self love
Awesome advice. Deleting everything though is too extreme. I know I'll regret it after the feelings go away. I see all the pictures as part of my life that I can reflect back on when the time is right.
61 years old; 21 years of deleting everything? Sounds so hard but may be a good idea as daily my fan y samsung phone posts 'memories ' ugh difficult very much still and?after a long and painful divorce. Steps forward are however necessary. Thanks for this video, you young one!
I feel you. What I've done is save everything in a memory stick or similar and give it to someone you trust to keep it safe. Until the time is right and you can go back without feeling bad. Take care.
I agree. It was such a happy time in my life, i don’t want to erase it. I know i will be happy again, but this feels too special to delete entirely. I have removed all photos off my phone. Still following on social media for now which I know i have to cut asap 😢
Trust me, it is a spiritual awakening. It's not easy. I often cry, my heart screams. But finally I can forgive. When I can love her, I can also forgive her. And that will calm my heart. Don't hold back your tears. Because it is part of the journey of life, and it is a healing process. Don't give up. I'm experiencing it. Especially for me, thank you for being strong.
Hi… I’m newly single after 20 years. Im heartbroken. Of course cheating was the reason. The woman sleeping with my husband was somewhat of a friend at least I thought… This video was and is everything I needed. I’m far from getting over this breakup but this video made my day a little brighter. Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.
It hurts when y’all are both talking about actively moving in together and getting married to a lonely weekend then him telling you it’s a break to “I didn’t want to hurt you”. My life is upside down I mean literally got dumped by someone who was building everything with me together but now it’s almost been a week😢
For me, it’s the fact we’ll never share our laughs again… our million inside jokes we had, the tingling connection we both shared when we looked into each other’s eyes… his voice 😢
I'm 16 and going through my first break up. I knew it was going to end sooner or later but it still sucks, especially because it's the first time. Thank you for making this
The most challenging thing for me is the thought of possibility. The hope. It seems like my brain can come up with a million reason why it's still possible for a reconnection. My biggest blocks are the addiction to the pleasurable thoughts..
It is difficult but is such a waste of a life, living in the past. Having been through this pain, I can totally recommend the advice here. It takes a little while but I decided I was worth far more than just being an ex of somebody who not only dumped me for another person but also left me financially destitute. I now have more self respect and have used it as my breakthrough to develop as a person and gain more skills.
I recently spent over an hour looking up a girl that I dated 20 years ago and finally found her. And for days I couldn’t help but think about her. And it hurt every time because I would drive myself into a pit of immense guilt because of how our relationship and friendship ended so many years ago. Knowing that she is successful and married, as much as that hurts, was the rope I desperately needed to pull myself out of that pit. I can finally move on. Seeing her life now brings me relief knowing she moved on to greater things after me. And so did I 😊 thank you Alison for the time we had
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
its always difficult to let go of you love, i was in a similar situation my husband for 12 years left me.i couldnt just let him go, so i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back
Battling this for over a year now, it’s been very hard to let go of someone who decided to let go which seems crazy. Hell I feel crazy most of the time. But these videos help and I appreciate you.
Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break EVEN!! He broke up with me a month ago and he is happy with someone else. 5 years and 5 mons of relationship and in a snap its all gone. The hardest part i was the one left broken and its not easy no words can explain how os the pain and im going through unil now. To everyone whos here i hope we all get through this 😭
Hello @spin3rellah887 I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup :( I'm 3 weeks out of an 18 year Married with 4 kids. I am devastated and barely hanging on..how are you doing today hun ? How are you feeling ??
For me, it’s really incredible the perspective these videos give me almost immediately(sometimes only temporarily), but are still helpful either way. The pain is still there, but my actions going forward change. If you need a slap in the face, just come back to these videos
I went through a divorce with my wife and it’s been a year and I haven’t let myself be able to let go and forget about her. Watching this, I’d say I’m finally ready. It’s tough everyone, I wish you the best.
I’m so sorry for both of you. I’m in the process of trying to decide to separate from my husband of 26 years. He came clean after 25+ years of marriage about his pornography addiction. He has been in therapy and a support group for a year now but relapsed and lied to me. I set boundaries when I found out: no more porn and no lies or gaslighting. He back tracked a few months ago and lied to his therapist and me. I’ve been nothing but supportive of him in his journey, never raised my voice but I can’t change nor fix him. This is his journey and it’s his choice to want to get better. There is no marriage without trust and respect. Love doesn’t hold a marriage together alone.
@@Sorchia56 I completely agree. This is why I tell people to fix their own issues like that before getting married, because of how unfair it is to put someone else through that type of pain. I am so, so sorry for what you had to deal with. I’m hoping the best for you, never let anyone cross your boundaries!
How are you going 9 months on? I am separating from my wife after being together for over 20 years. It’s been horribly painful and I have been holding on to the hope that we’ll somehow turn things around but she has completely shut down. I have finally accepted that we don’t have a future and I am letting go.
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
When things fall apart, they may actually be falling into place. Ie it’s not a bad thing, it’s actually a good thing. Let go of what is for space of what will be. You’re not losing something bad, but gaining better
This is something that you don't overcome thoroughly. This is a process to come across. It's hard to admit over my exhusband. My love to all of you who are going through a hard time
I've just watched like a dozen videos on how to get over a breakup. They all helped some, but I think this one has been the most helpful to me. Thank you, Clark.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
That helped me a lot, writing down the negative aspects of them I'd never have to put up with again. Also studying ambiguous grief helped equip me with how my brain was seeing what happened. It's not easy though.
I’ve been listening to you for a few years now, for practical slightly spiritual guidance, lol. Today I lost my relationship and here this video was. I didn’t expect it. Thank you…
Sorry to hear about your loss, I too last met me 2weeks back and am healing myself. I’ve accepted it, still grieving but looking at this as an opportunity to be the version of myself that didn’t exist before. You’ll be good on the other side of this
@@sitiimanina steady on the journey of self improvement. I feel like I’ve been able to find more of myself in this solitude. I let her go. And she found her way back.. yet that doesn’t stop me from continuing to move through. Lots more work to do.. thanks for asking
Did she cheat? Mine cheated and it has been a roller coaster of crying from both sides. It has been hard these past two weeks. We are not like hanging and i dont know it is just a matter of time i guess till the third party comes back or so although my partner is telling me that the third party has ghosted her now.. i dont know.. it is just really hard.
man I‘ve ended my relationship yesterday because we are just completely different even though I love her, and I have been crying quite a few times since then, but I immediately deleted everything, reminded me of all the headache and pain I’ve had, and wrote it all down. glad that someone basically confirms everything I did!
You have my humble gratitude. You made this video in the very right time for me. I got the news yesterday that the girl I liked just got married. And it quite hurts. And I was feeling down after knowing the news. But I'm trying to move on. So your words are of great value to me. Much Love.
I broke up with my ex a month ago. I was the one who proposed it, and I did it for her actions. She did not wanted to be with me anymore, this hurts but she actually stopped caring about me at all. I had patience and I really tried hard pushing her back into our relationship, but then my insecurities came up, along with doubts, anger and frustration. I could not mirror her words and her actions, so I was suffering, and we broke up. I am telling you this because, I was the one trying to get back to her afterwards. This happened because I only remembered the good things about her. All I had and actually have are memories of ourselves in the happiest moments, the kisses, travels, quite everything positive comes instantly to my mind. It is easy to numb the bad side of a person we love, but this video, and the therapies I have been going through, I am finding some sort of peace. I have this idea that I want to become a better man, just like Clark said, and for that a long travel awaits. But this time it is a travel of my own.
Thank you, I was actually of doing the pros and cons. But I have been procrastinating, partially because I'm too mentally and emotionally tired. But I know I have to do it if i want to overcome it. Another thing is that I still have pictures and texts because it somehow helps me not to go back to them. I get sad, angry, and confused but never nostalgic. It's true what he said, if you want better, then you need to become the version of yourself that you want to meet. It's hard work, but I think there's is no time limit to work on yourself. You do get tired of feeling depressed, it's smothering. I at least want to be at peace with myself and move on.
I would also say don't suppress the feelings of loss you have. Painful as they are, take a long walk as I did recently and then take a seat somewhere and allow the pain literally to wash over your heart like a breaking wave. Allow your heart to ache as that wave breaks over it. Close your eyes. Say a prayer. And then when the immediate pain/loss has subsided carry on your walk home. Allow this to take place as often as your heart and mind require. Experience the pain as it washes over your heart. Gradually that pain will subside and get less on each subsequent occasion. It's actually incredibly healthy because you're facing up to that pain and allowing your body and mind to face it and overcome it, making you stronger each time, much like our antibodies get activated when we have a bad cold or 'flu. In my experience it's the deepest and best way to a healing heart. You'll be amazed how much better you will feel and how quickly this happens.
I really needed to hear this. It's been six years and I haven't gotten over it. I sent her a message today. She didn't answer me. It made me look very weak, but I think it's time to move on.
5:10 is the best! Deleting all the messages and pictures from my phone helped the best! I kept some of the best memorie-pictures on one hard drive. So theoretically they are still there but they are not accessible for me. And this helps so much.
It hurts so bad. I'm trying to balance focusing on myself and healing emotionally. I need to deal with these feeling and not do anything numb them. My heart is cold. Im dead inside.
Thanks going through a really hard break up as of last night. I think this one hurts more because we don’t hate each other or nothing serious broke us up. Just have different points of views on big topics. So the love is still there from both of us. Thanks
This was great advice and true in my experience. When I think about people from my past, I really had to be tough with myself and just cut off the good and the bad memories and force myself to replace them with other activities that would occupy my mind. God was it hard, but it really does work over time. I stopped reading anything that had to do with them (past text messages, notes I kept on my phone about things they liked) and forced myself to have a months long period where I absolutely was not allowed to look at pictures or any obvious reminders of them until I really felt strong enough. It works if you let it, but the problem is forcing yourself to stick with it.
Clark, I found you first time when I was going through a reaalllyyyyyyy tough breakup last year. I remember watching and having this intense pain in my chest that I didn’t know what to do because I never felt that way ever. But after your video I gained clarity, comfort. You were my gateway into self-improvement and healing. So this video took me back 😅
Was a needed video. Been obsessed with someone who just wasn’t ready and he wasn’t able to give me what I needed. Truly an amazing person but wrong time. Just cannot stop thinking about him and all the good. Highly annoying as I’m a pretty disciplined woman. Miss him a lot and I was extremely highly heartbroken over Christmas😢 but it is what it is! Just need to stop thinking about him! Thank you for making this video as it’s is most definitely needed ❤
Hi. I’m in the same boat as you! The girl that I’m in love with (who was my high school sweetheart 22yrs ago) came back into my life but only wants to be friends. We’re both single, never married & no kids (at 40). I told her that I can’t see her as just a friend. But it’s either be friends for now and maybe have a chance when she’s ready or just cut her loose all together. I’m so lost. Part of me wants to take the friendship so I at least have her in my life but I can already feel the pain that will cause me. Any advice anyone? Thank you in advance.
@@Andrew714oc take a step back. You’ll only feel more devastated if it doesn’t go to plan. Live her from a distance. Build yourself up, keep busy and be the best version of yourself. If it’s ment to be, she’ll most definitely be with you.
Journaling has been a big help. Getting therapy is also beneficial because talking about it is a huge relief. I myself am in that grieving stage but I'm going to use the experience to make myself a better more resilient person.
@7:04 After my break up, I read where a person suggested to right a list of the “Pros and Cons” of the relationship! Whenever I ruminated about the relationship I read that list! It instantly put everything in perspective!
What's crazy is when you still feel that way after getting married to someone else and having a family. I struggled for 25 years to get over my first love. I never will get over her, but I'm trying to live my life the best way I can. On the plus side, I wrote a book about her and it went on to become a 4x Amazon bestseller, which helps.
Break ups are really tough and I really appreciate this video. It really helped me get through a hard time. I lost a relationship of five years due to my stupidity of my actions and not caring and in return, I lost her so now I’m trying to cope with the pain it’s been a month and I feel like I’m getting better and sometimes I don’t but as time can tell, I will get better overtime
I’ve watched a lot of these type of videos over the past month since my 5 year relationship ended and I have to say that this has been one of the most helpful. Thank you.
Great video Clark, thank you so much! I would like to add, there is an element that is not talked in this video: the love bombing stage of narcissist/sociopath/psychopaths. The first stage of love with them is so potent and it stays deep in our vein, if we don't understand that type of psychology to truly understand what they are, it so potent yet it's all an illusion they make for us to fall in their traps. Much blessings to all xo
Helpful info! What convicted me was your opening: "If you REALLY want to get over someone...". I realize I don't want to get over her, I want her back...still...4 years after divorce, I remain stuck. She don't want me but I want her. I have dated and ended those relationships because I would rather be with her. I can't imagine a better woman or relationship. It ended because I was bored and sought attention elsewhere which lead to an emotional affair. Again, this video was helpful and I appreciate your sincerity in wanting to help people move on.
It's been almost 27 yrs 😢still miss him; even if he wasn't the best for me nor I for him. He is my twin flame though; I can feel him in my soul. 😢 💔 Longest slowest heartbreak ever. We never broke up, just drifted apart. We are friends, it's better than nothing. 😢❤
I’ll never fall for anyone again. Opening up, sharing secrets, sharing your body, putting your all into a relationship, just to go from one day “I love you” and the next day “I hate you”. It’s just too much pain, there’s no point trusting anyone when they say they love you and don’t ever want to lose, when they can easily walk away over a minuscule argument!
After 2 years of me being in a complicated relationship with a guy, I'm still in a healing process of moving on from him. He was the type of person I was looking for, but it's unfortunate how we're not together anymore. I would cry, keep looking at pictures and videos of that person, and listen to Giveon sometimes. Also, I wrote a song about it. Idk if I would date a new guy at the moment because I don't see myself paired up with them, but at the same time, I wish I could feel loved again. I was told that God would bring someone to me, or let them come up to me naturally. Until then, I have to stick with self-love, which sometimes suck. Overall, this video was great, and I will definitely follow these steps.
I appreciated this video. Coming from a single father with no family but my son. My baby mama left me after 10 years and I don’t hold it against her. I just want what’s best for our son. So I figured if she’s moving ahead and not looking back. I need to do the same. It’s rough and it’s been a rough few weeks but it’s not impossible. But it sure is tough. Very.
@@letlifemoveyou I’m sorry to hear that. It’s been 7 months now. I’m doing better. All I can say is that I learned a lot from this relationship and that , despite everything. As a man , father. We just have to keep going. For me , it was about staying busy and focused. Looking for a new outlet too. Change. Change is good. Tough , but good.
I absolutely love this video, I hung on to an ex ( whom I know is not good for me) just because I kept thinking he will change his mind and come back. I am finally learning to let go after 8 years.
This was an excellent video for a normal/healthy relationship, but would you consider doing one for toxic/abusive relationships? I've been through many breakups that shook me and threw me off, but coming out of a toxic relationship was a different beast and had me struggling for air for like half a year. I totally forgot who I was, lost all sense of self worth, and had to fight to get myself back. Just a request, no biggie if you don't want to/aren't comfortable! Take care, Clark, and thanks for your great work.
Right now i feel like running mad ,,, my husband left me with kids with no goodbye since monday and no one knows where he is he rather sent a message that he is fine and hapoy where he is
Currently going through a separation, most likely my SECOND divorce. I blamed myself mostly for both of these, but I'm starting to see clearly and realize that there was a ton of negatives that I just overlooked and focused too much on the few positives. This video definitely helped my mind get in the right place tonight. I really appreciate you putting this video out. I do deserve better and I can move on. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it.
thank u. My therapy isn’t going through and I need as much guidance as I can. Just feels like it’s impossible to talk to someone. So thank u. This is a start.
It is my 5th day after the b word. This is the first video, since then, that I was able to watch through till the end, it was authentic and to the point. Thank you and blessings to all who are in the same position as me. I, am ready to turn it into my breakthrough and am excited to love and be loved again. It was the flip of the coin for me because it is always something I also tend to preach about when times are good.
The hardest part is that some people/souls get attached to my energy fields and stay there for a while. Not only lovers but also people I seem to grapple with. How to remove or resolve those attachments...
I feel ya. I'm going through this myself but my situation may be a tad different than most men here. Hear me out ... I'm a single dad with two kiddos. I was married eight years and got divorced last year. I waited a full year before I even tried dating. I met this amazing woman and she was looking for her person. Her life partner because she wants kids. She's 34 and wants them by 40. Well, I'm 44 and I don't want more children. There was always this underlying negative about kids when everything else in the relationship was fantastic. We had to end it last week and it has been f..king BRUTAL. It's been brutal because there's nothing wrong with us. I have to walk away from one of the greatest humans I've ever met just because our view on children is different. It's just sad.
I’m going through this at this exact moment and watching every kind of video available to get out of this miserable state of mind. It’s been really tough. Thanks for the video.
That felt good . Thank you so much . A heartfelt comment, really needed this in this time of pain. THANK YOU MAN AND YOUR TEAM who made this video possible. ❤
Clark, first of all I would like to point out how concise and straight to the point this video was. I’ve never looked at a break up from 2 sides (pain + pleasure) as you mentioned you should. This information is very valuable and I appreciate you putting it together to help us.
My issue is that I'm a very sensetive and emotinal man, and when I was with my ex I had somewhere to channel all those wonderful thoughts and feelings that I have inside me, I had someone to love and take care off. But now without her, I have nobody all I have have left are the negative emotions, I feel as if she took a part of me and left
@@njrom2975 I know, I know. Thank you, it's getting better and will only get better with more time. My logical mind realized it is over a long time ago but my feelings just have to catch up.
Excellent advice! I also feel like my biggest growth has come after big transitions. I was ‘broken up with’ one week ago in a civilized, compassionate way and am handling it in a mostly healthy fashion. Even so, it’s hard. I am going to utilize the steps you’ve suggested. Thank you!
This seriously is THE best advice. Been almost a year and I’m still struggling. You described me to a “T” and I’m taking what you said to heart. Thank you.
Thanks clark this popped up at the right time for me , I have not been in a realtionship and broken up with someone but they were on my mind a lot As I learned we share the same birthday and year and have many similarities but we don't see each other often enough and thinking about her was distracting me from my true path.
Thank you for sharing this knowledge for free. I appreciate it. I lost the girl of my dreams. I like her voice, her smile. The problem is we are in the same office. Now she hides a relationship with another officemate behind me which they don't know that I know. I know this guy is bad for her. Still care for her even though I shouldn't. Hurt, cringe and very hard to move on...
I know how that feels. When someone who used to be affectionate to you suddenly gone cold. Then you kinda knew it gonna end bad. So I learned never be to invested because I am not the fortune type to find true love.
Hi, I’m on this side of the relationship and believe me it hurts just as much as the person getting broken up with. I loved him for 8 years, I still do. He is a part of me but ultimately I couldn’t go on in our perfect little life. I felt trapped for no apparent reason, I felt sad, I felt guilty. He loves me so much and he would do anything if it meant that I would stick around. Eventually I outgrew the relationship and we hit a dead end. He would’ve kept trying to fix it, but there was nothing that could fix my heart screaming for more. It couldn’t possibly have been a forever. I really thought it would be, so did he. Falling out of love sucks so hard. It’s terrifying how the strong love I had romantically started fading into a intimate yet more platonic bond. I hate myself for letting him go. He resents me too although he would never admit it.
The Memory stick method is a good one. Not only because you don't want to erase your past, but it's a great way to tell yourself you have control over your pain. Erased from your computer and phone so you don't need to see it and imprisoned in a small fragile stick you can crush in the palm of your hand and erase everything for good.
One phrase someone in the comments had said and somehow reduced my anxiety and dependency instantly is "They weren't The One, If they were, they will never let you go". Kinda makes you feel some hope that you can live without them and that you can find a better love in someone else.
This video is really well timed for me, I just got divorced last month after 14 years of marriage. I've been trying to figure out how to let myself move on, and your advice here has really helped my perspective.
Breakups are breakthroughs if you USE them! In this video, we're talking about how to let go of someone you once loved. This video's for anyone who can't let go of an ex, heartbreak, their past, relationships, etc. Hope it helps, but more importantly, I hope you take action with it! Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
[0:00] where you're at
[0:42] why you can't let go
[2:15] your secret to letting go
[3:15] your first step
[6:00] your second step
[8:45] your third step
do silent subliminals work? i mean high frequency that humans can not hear.
I have a BIG problem with the word "addiction". People throw it around constantly. And here is why: The word addiction holds so many negative connotations. Shame, guilt, etc. Anything one does to excess is actually self soothing, or employing a coping mechanism. We begin using these coping mechanisms VERY young. My oldest son sucked his thumb until he was about 7 years old. He didn't do it in front of anyone else, he hid under his covers, I'm sure feeling ashamed and embarrassed about it. Would you say, "He is an addict. He is addicted to it."? Of course not! You would never label a child engaging in self soothing behaviors an addict! These coping mechanisms continue on in life. In ALL manner of ways! Referring to them as addictions is only adding yet another layer of shame on top of it. This label helps no one, as a matter of fact, I would go so far as saying that labels are one of our biggest problems. We're labeling everything all of the time and a lot of the labels are LOADED with negative implications. (SO many times I've thought, "I wish I would wake up tomorrow and completely forget the English language!" EVERYTHING!" It would make things SO much easier! p.s. My 4 year old French bulldog also self sooths by sucking on his toys, is he an addict too? *maybe I should find a support group for him.???* LMAO! Just a thought, not actually MY thought, one that I'm observing...lol
Thank you for appearing in my life!❤ i recently broke up😊 because he cheated on me ! You helped me very much
Qq x
Thank you this definitely helped I just broke up with my first long term partner this helped so much sadly they go to my school so it’s hard but this helps
The trauma from a breakup is at the some level of the death of a loved one. What makes it worse in a strange and painful way is they are still present in this world much like a ghost that is impossible to have them in your life anymore. This is why it is so hard to move on knowing they are still living their life.
I am forcing myself to play the hard game, telling my mind: "They are dead. Deceased. Cremated. Gone." Nothing can revive them. They chose to be dead in my world and the only choice I have is to let it go. Let go of this dream that never was and will never be. I can't change it. I've accepted: I can't stop the rain, or change the wind. Hold on Friend. You still have yourself.
This is something I thought of as well!! Nice to hear someone else get it..
Sounds all great but what if you have a son or daughter together?
@@johannpfouche There's always a chance they come back, but it's bad to bet everything on it, and make your happiness depend on it.. The best you can do is no contact and then let them contact you if they want to try again.. Otherwise just live your life and deal with the loss
You've written that perfectly. That person, in that time, will never be again... they will just be a memory that haunts you
Took me years to get over my ex i was stressed every day to the point i got ulcerative colitis, no one should feel ashamed to get the help they need to feel better.
I had something VERY similar happen to me! I had no idea stress/trauma could cause health problems. I found out in a wild way 😅 Hope you're well ❤
@chelsea2711 it seems like we are only now getting the information on how much damage chronic stress can do on the body as well as the mind, hope you came through alright too 🙂
Damn bro, as someone with chrons disease I feel your pain brother
Have you come out of that difficult situation dear? OR still on that phase of moving on in ur life?? Let me know I'm gonna 😌 make videos on it to help you gyes 😊
Can you tell me what exactly are the things which will make you move on ? Less time taking
If your watching this right now. You’re not alone. I just had a breakup a week ago and what hurts more is we are in good terms. And im still healing and trying to move on. Hope you will too ❤
Thanks it's hart break ups I just can't forget olsbout her 😭
@@IDONTHAVEANAME-m2osame man, same
How you feeling now?
same bro, same
I did not even get closure lol
I just cry it all out in the shower until there's no more tears. Waste of energy to hold on to the past. Cry it out. And move on. ❤
I don’t really cry even though I know I need to, it’s hard
Men has overall a much harder time going thru a lost love.
Yeah, you’re obviously just a kid, probably never really been in love.
Yes but you do that so many times in life crying stops working all you're left with is a hole.
@CaseyFrazAnimations I always got tears.
But never for the same person. I cry it out and move on. Doesn't mean I can't cry again if I'm broken hearted again. But it takes a while before I can fall hard again. My guard is up now.
never knew how painful breakups were until til this first one. Always thought everyone was being over-dramatic and now im the dramatic one. She just broke up with me today, but im trying to use this as an opportunity for growth instead of decline. Good luck everyone, we’re all gonna be okay one day.
same here bro she broke up with me today and I'm just going to focus on myself still miss her tho.
@@sukmn1136 Can't believe its been a month already. I've just been working out and getting by. How you been doin?
Same here
@@sukmn1136how are you doing now
We officially broke things today. I feel abandoned. She was more than my girlfriend, she was my best friend. I feel wronged my her, and still I love her so much and would take her back. I know I have to move on though, but fk it hurts
All of us make mistakes when we're in relationship ,but if u know in your heart that u've done your best to resolve that, then just forgive yourself and also if u know that you've done everything you can and you've loved her with all your heart, be proud of that fact and take it one day at a time! Hopefully time does heal you!
I needed thisssssssss
I needed this 💯
She love me And I miss her every day sucks that we have a kid too I feel like I deserve it I let my emotions get The Best of Me and lost my temper. I'm sorry, but something in my gut and hin my heart are telling me she's not coming back.
I wanna show her but I'm not the same but it's too late she tells me.
Going through the same thing here, we couldn’t have become what they wanted us to be unless things ended. Be better for yourself because it makes you feel good.
That is what has helped me move on. I was a good to her & with it not working out I didn’t have to deal with any guilt & regret on top of the loss. Just loss of one whom I genuinely loved. I don’t how people move on that are guilty of slinging mud & betrayal.
Perfect for me, heartbroken from a person who I never dated
What's even worst she is my neighbor
@barron5970 I assume you never dated? I need context to this. If you never asked her out then damn... felt... I did it and was rejected but hey at least now I know there wasnt a chance so I can move on with my life. Its better to be rejected than to go your whole life wondering if it could or couldn't have been.
Hahahaha ,
@@gilbertorodriguez6203I dated this girl in middle school and broke up with her before we could even do anything so throughout the years I always tried to get back with her because we were really good friends and she always was petty after 7 years she finally gave me a shot after being ran through by many guys and it just hurts
I was so in love with her and she wanted nothing to do with me
He wasn't The One since y'all broke up. The One will NEVER let you go. Remember that
Thanks for this comment...needed to validate it from someone....he didn't fight for me...treated him like my world...still trying to recover...
@@priyanka3580same and we had a baby together
@@priyanka3580on the other hand if he really loved you. Hed let you go and be happy.
@@priyanka3580I am sending you healing wishes and support from afar. You are worthy and you deserve someone who loves truly loves you ❤ A big hug 🙌🏻✨
@@priyanka3580I’m sorry to her that .. I’m in so much pain .. he just left in my worse time .. and put the whole fault on me for everything .. I dont know to communicate .. and I’m driving him crazy … after he said let’s be friends … that’s so sad ..
I just really enjoyed the phrase, “You only attract what you are, not necessarily what you want.”
That’s soul food right there.
That’s not true, though, for everyone
Not true, some people let themselves appear better than they really are to get into your life. Only then when you find out who they are eventually it will be to late and you will be heartbroken.
@@nlrenzo9432 That's prolyl a narc..
I don’t think that for me. I’ve never cheated and never played with anyone heart but I seem to attract people who do
So what is the point in that? My ex was loving for 6 months.
I met a loving person like myself?
Then one day she went cold and left.
I was suddenly cold to myself?
What hurts the most after breakup is the thought that she would be loved, touched, seen and felt by some other dude.
and he'll pleasure her better.
It doesn’t matter my dear … a person who leave will leave all the time … my ex boyfriend did that so many time I took him back .. I loved him … I will ask questions to him he will say I don’t want questions… I will start talking seriously with him .. he will say you have 30 min to talk no more than that .. your time is up …. Think about it my friend if they left yog is better now and not late ..
dealing with this right now.
I'm literally feeling that right now
@@CarterMakesFunnies I’m sorry to hear that I’m going though the pain too .. I can’t sleep how much stressed I’m .. sometimes I feel like love does this to you ? I better stay without no one and not like this
It took me about 7 years to get over a 7-year-relationship. I went into depression, had bad acne, lost a lot of weight. It felt like being in a black hole filled with a dark mud I can't get myself out of. Ten years later, I still think of the guy but no more emotion. Exactly what I prayed for.
4 years relationship just went away due to betrayal last week... idk how long it is going to take me
@@sitiimanina4.8 years of relationship my girl just broke up with me after texting a guy which she only told basically she was monkey branching .
I was heartbroken and ready to move on but suddenly out of nowhere my gf apologised saying she was wrong and ready to make amends …
On one hand I feel betrayal loss of trust and on other side my gf wants to continue on our relationship
don’t know what to do😢??
@@sitiimaninasame thing here exactly. caught her behind the house with a coworker and now she’s filing a restraining order against me for stalking (I just saw the car lights).
7 years 😮
7 years here, too. Everything we built ended up disappearing in a month. It's... So tough. To lose what you valued most.
stop settling. start living. that's deep
What I've learnt from my past.. it to just let it go.. and move onwards. You may not be perfect.. but You're the best You can be at Present.
I have the toughest time getting over breakups. I can't eat, my smiles are fake, I don't want to go on. I listen to inspirational messeges in hopes that some words will help. I go for walks and cry. I talk to the universe in hopes to ease my suffering. I've made the lists, I've made lists of the things I'm grateful for. I think of my family. I'm shattered. It slowly gets better, a little bit every day. Then one day I notice that I didn't think about it all day. Then the roller coaster of think/don't think happens. Finally, finally there is some relief. I can see the flowers and peoples smiles again. I carry the weight of my pain, and start to become someone different having learned from it all. It's the toughest journey. The only time I start to really feel better is when I can turn my attention away.
Thanks for sharing that bro!
I in this darkness right now I can’t eat, my smile are fakes and i cant think straight, its hard day by day
For me, writing down my thoughts and feelings on paper is something that has helped. Putting it down on paper helps me get it out of my head. When you're finished or begin healing, dispose of it.
I always think of the quote... "NO MAN IS WORTH YOUR TEARS AND THE ONE WHO IS WON'T MAKE YOU CRY "!!! 💯
I love this, its so true~
Hmm, even when my ex and I were happy she'd cry, past traumas and things... then yeah, I made her cry later with some unchecked, anxious behaviour. Which i'll always regret.
While this is true, reality is different :(
Yea thats wishful thinking. All relationships experience hurt and struggle at some point
What if... A woman broke me
Use your break-up as a breakthrough 🔥
be mature,life is too short
@@durexuncensored u on the WRONG place for that comment, lol. All this is duh af. I just got YT auto-play baited.
"Break Through the Breakup: A Modern Woman's Guide to Mending A Broken Heart and Bouncing Back Stronger"
"Breakup to Breakthrough: The Healing Power of Heartache"
And hundreds of others....
That phrase is old af, and this dude is just milking losers, by regurgitating nonsense. 5 second google search for books... STOP LISENING TO PPL ONLINE. Deuces
Consider your break up as a wake up call.
Yes, use a breakup as a breakthrough, dear God, guide me through this pain am undergoing, show me the right path, let me chose wise decision, Amen 🙏
Currently going through a breakup today. Listening to YT videos like yours for hours searching for help. Crying for hours. Regretting staying and so much more. Hoping this pain passes at a reasonable time. 💔
Hi dear… sending you love and prayers. Trust me, it’ll get better!
🥺 It's very painful but we can do it!
This was me 6 mos ago. I still am doing stuff but i cried lesser , im better than the time we broke up. Im finally ready to move on, he is right i deleted all photos and our nessage thread. I tried to block unblock so many times in ig. Just yesterday i just unblocked just so i can send the last message without expecting a reply. After he saw it i deleted it right away. I didnt go back to block him, i jist deleted my ig app so i can heal. i just browse all asmr reiki and anything podcasts that can validate i am right to feel this way. Remember its ok to do things for yourself so you can heal. Its not selfish its self care, self love
how r u now?
@@caperlacleannhazel2034hey how are you
Addicted to the fantasy linked to the pain. Wow. You are profound.
Awesome advice. Deleting everything though is too extreme. I know I'll regret it after the feelings go away. I see all the pictures as part of my life that I can reflect back on when the time is right.
61 years old; 21 years of deleting everything? Sounds so hard but may be a good idea as daily my fan y samsung phone posts 'memories ' ugh difficult very much still and?after a long and painful divorce. Steps forward are however necessary. Thanks for this video, you young one!
I feel you. What I've done is save everything in a memory stick or similar and give it to someone you trust to keep it safe. Until the time is right and you can go back without feeling bad. Take care.
I agree. It was such a happy time in my life, i don’t want to erase it. I know i will be happy again, but this feels too special to delete entirely. I have removed all photos off my phone. Still following on social media for now which I know i have to cut asap 😢
Go buy an SD card. Put them all on there. Seal it into something. Don't check it. Ever.
Noone asked@Alixir1228
Trust me, it is a spiritual awakening. It's not easy. I often cry, my heart screams. But finally I can forgive. When I can love her, I can also forgive her. And that will calm my heart. Don't hold back your tears. Because it is part of the journey of life, and it is a healing process. Don't give up. I'm experiencing it. Especially for me, thank you for being strong.
Hi… I’m newly single after 20 years. Im heartbroken. Of course cheating was the reason. The woman sleeping with my husband was somewhat of a friend at least I thought… This video was and is everything I needed. I’m far from getting over this breakup but this video made my day a little brighter. Thank you so much. I needed to hear this.
Woman always cheat men 😢😢
I soo feel for you and wish you Fresh Energy to help heal you ❤
I hope your days are getting better.
It really hurts when we lose a person with whom we decide our future.
Yes I'm going thru the same
Yes 😢
It cuts deep
Same here
Same here, it hurts like hell.
What’s makes it worse is I have a little girl with her.
It hurts when y’all are both talking about actively moving in together and getting married to a lonely weekend then him telling you it’s a break to “I didn’t want to hurt you”. My life is upside down I mean literally got dumped by someone who was building everything with me together but now it’s almost been a week😢
For me, it’s the fact we’ll never share our laughs again… our million inside jokes we had, the tingling connection we both shared when we looked into each other’s eyes… his voice 😢
I'm 16 and going through my first break up. I knew it was going to end sooner or later but it still sucks, especially because it's the first time. Thank you for making this
Personal
I want ur help
@@yurami_._. i just had my first breakup.. I'm 18 and I feel very sad
The most challenging thing for me is the thought of possibility. The hope. It seems like my brain can come up with a million reason why it's still possible for a reconnection. My biggest blocks are the addiction to the pleasurable thoughts..
"You attract what you are, not what you want" ... stellar quote
It is difficult but is such a waste of a life, living in the past. Having been through this pain, I can totally recommend the advice here. It takes a little while but I decided I was worth far more than just being an ex of somebody who not only dumped me for another person but also left me financially destitute. I now have more self respect and have used it as my breakthrough to develop as a person and gain more skills.
I recently spent over an hour looking up a girl that I dated 20 years ago and finally found her. And for days I couldn’t help but think about her. And it hurt every time because I would drive myself into a pit of immense guilt because of how our relationship and friendship ended so many years ago. Knowing that she is successful and married, as much as that hurts, was the rope I desperately needed to pull myself out of that pit. I can finally move on. Seeing her life now brings me relief knowing she moved on to greater things after me. And so did I 😊 thank you Alison for the time we had
How are you feeling now
Cutn
Great video, I was in a beautiful marriage before my now ex wife left me, i still love her and most times i cant stop thinking about her, i am doing my very best to get rid of the thought of her, but i just cant, i love her so much, i dont know why i am bring this here for, i cant stop thinking about her.
its always difficult to let go of you love, i was in a similar situation my husband for 12 years left me.i couldnt just let him go, so i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back
wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
Funny enough when I read your comment I immediately knew it was building up to this nonsense about someone who can bring back an ex!
Battling this for over a year now, it’s been very hard to let go of someone who decided to let go which seems crazy. Hell I feel crazy most of the time. But these videos help and I appreciate you.
It feels SOOOO good seeing someone feeling the same way. Keep going and be glad u experienced them 🥲 we got this bro
@@biancawalker4776 ❤️❤️
Break ups can make or break a person. Literally up to you.
Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break EVEN!! He broke up with me a month ago and he is happy with someone else. 5 years and 5 mons of relationship and in a snap its all gone. The hardest part i was the one left broken and its not easy no words can explain how os the pain and im going through unil now. To everyone whos here i hope we all get through this 😭
Hello @spin3rellah887 I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup :( I'm 3 weeks out of an 18 year Married with 4 kids. I am devastated and barely hanging on..how are you doing today hun ? How are you feeling ??
For me, it’s really incredible the perspective these videos give me almost immediately(sometimes only temporarily), but are still helpful either way. The pain is still there, but my actions going forward change. If you need a slap in the face, just come back to these videos
I went through a divorce with my wife and it’s been a year and I haven’t let myself be able to let go and forget about her. Watching this, I’d say I’m finally ready. It’s tough everyone, I wish you the best.
My husband left me. Ghosted me once again said he had a weak moment and he still wants a divorce. I'm dying 😭😭😭🥀
I’m so sorry for both of you. I’m in the process of trying to decide to separate from my husband of 26 years. He came clean after 25+ years of marriage about his pornography addiction. He has been in therapy and a support group for a year now but relapsed and lied to me. I set boundaries when I found out: no more porn and no lies or gaslighting. He back tracked a few months ago and lied to his therapist and me. I’ve been nothing but supportive of him in his journey, never raised my voice but I can’t change nor fix him. This is his journey and it’s his choice to want to get better. There is no marriage without trust and respect. Love doesn’t hold a marriage together alone.
@@cristianmoore9267 I’m so sorry for that, I’m wishing you nothing but the best. You got this!
@@Sorchia56 I completely agree. This is why I tell people to fix their own issues like that before getting married, because of how unfair it is to put someone else through that type of pain. I am so, so sorry for what you had to deal with. I’m hoping the best for you, never let anyone cross your boundaries!
How are you going 9 months on? I am separating from my wife after being together for over 20 years. It’s been horribly painful and I have been holding on to the hope that we’ll somehow turn things around but she has completely shut down. I have finally accepted that we don’t have a future and I am letting go.
“Sometimes things fall apart so better things can fall together” - Marilyn Monroe
Talk loving ly to yourself. Start it now!! Learn self compassion.
Cool video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive.
@@juanderuano8969 hey, can you share with me the spiritual counselor too?
Why did she leave you? She is no good if she left you after 5 years for no good reason
When things fall apart, they may actually be falling into place. Ie it’s not a bad thing, it’s actually a good thing. Let go of what is for space of what will be. You’re not losing something bad, but gaining better
I am addicted to this person, but my addiction stops today. This video helped me. Thank you
This is something that you don't overcome thoroughly. This is a process to come across. It's hard to admit over my exhusband. My love to all of you who are going through a hard time
I've just watched like a dozen videos on how to get over a breakup. They all helped some, but I think this one has been the most helpful to me. Thank you, Clark.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let her go. So i had to do all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@@EricScofield22scam alert
That helped me a lot, writing down the negative aspects of them I'd never have to put up with again. Also studying ambiguous grief helped equip me with how my brain was seeing what happened. It's not easy though.
I’ve been listening to you for a few years now, for practical slightly spiritual guidance, lol. Today I lost my relationship and here this video was. I didn’t expect it. Thank you…
Don't worry dear right people are always meant to stay in your life ✨️ One must not be ur match
Sorry to hear about your loss, I too last met me 2weeks back and am healing myself. I’ve accepted it, still grieving but looking at this as an opportunity to be the version of myself that didn’t exist before. You’ll be good on the other side of this
@@ByTheWilliamshow are you feeling now
@@sitiimanina steady on the journey of self improvement. I feel like I’ve been able to find more of myself in this solitude.
I let her go. And she found her way back..
yet that doesn’t stop me from continuing to move through. Lots more work to do..
thanks for asking
Did she cheat? Mine cheated and it has been a roller coaster of crying from both sides. It has been hard these past two weeks. We are not like hanging and i dont know it is just a matter of time i guess till the third party comes back or so although my partner is telling me that the third party has ghosted her now.. i dont know.. it is just really hard.
man I‘ve ended my relationship yesterday because we are just completely different
even though I love her, and I have been crying quite a few times since then, but I immediately deleted everything, reminded me of all the headache and pain I’ve had, and wrote it all down. glad that someone basically confirms everything I did!
Feeling better?
I just ended things yesterday and I’m in pain
I want him back even though I know he doesn’t value me
You have my humble gratitude. You made this video in the very right time for me. I got the news yesterday that the girl I liked just got married. And it quite hurts. And I was feeling down after knowing the news. But I'm trying to move on. So your words are of great value to me. Much Love.
I broke up with my ex a month ago. I was the one who proposed it, and I did it for her actions. She did not wanted to be with me anymore, this hurts but she actually stopped caring about me at all. I had patience and I really tried hard pushing her back into our relationship, but then my insecurities came up, along with doubts, anger and frustration. I could not mirror her words and her actions, so I was suffering, and we broke up. I am telling you this because, I was the one trying to get back to her afterwards. This happened because I only remembered the good things about her. All I had and actually have are memories of ourselves in the happiest moments, the kisses, travels, quite everything positive comes instantly to my mind. It is easy to numb the bad side of a person we love, but this video, and the therapies I have been going through, I am finding some sort of peace. I have this idea that I want to become a better man, just like Clark said, and for that a long travel awaits. But this time it is a travel of my own.
Thank you, I was actually of doing the pros and cons. But I have been procrastinating, partially because I'm too mentally and emotionally tired. But I know I have to do it if i want to overcome it. Another thing is that I still have pictures and texts because it somehow helps me not to go back to them. I get sad, angry, and confused but never nostalgic. It's true what he said, if you want better, then you need to become the version of yourself that you want to meet. It's hard work, but I think there's is no time limit to work on yourself. You do get tired of feeling depressed, it's smothering. I at least want to be at peace with myself and move on.
This is the most important 👏 step
Taking that decision
I would also say don't suppress the feelings of loss you have. Painful as they are, take a long walk as I did recently and then take a seat somewhere and allow the pain literally to wash over your heart like a breaking wave. Allow your heart to ache as that wave breaks over it. Close your eyes. Say a prayer. And then when the immediate pain/loss has subsided carry on your walk home.
Allow this to take place as often as your heart and mind require. Experience the pain as it washes over your heart. Gradually that pain will subside and get less on each subsequent occasion. It's actually incredibly healthy because you're facing up to that pain and allowing your body and mind to face it and overcome it, making you stronger each time, much like our antibodies get activated when we have a bad cold or 'flu. In my experience it's the deepest and best way to a healing heart. You'll be amazed how much better you will feel and how quickly this happens.
I really needed to hear this. It's been six years and I haven't gotten over it. I sent her a message today. She didn't answer me. It made me look very weak, but I think it's time to move on.
You have an anxious attachment. Learn about it and ways you can learn to live with it
bro, i know that feel, pls move on for the sake of yourself. don't stay in the past with regret. U could be the happiest man in the world. Fighting.
I always say that I can get over these memories, and I'm still trying to deal with them. I don't know what to do. I'm in a mess
5:10 is the best!
Deleting all the messages and pictures from my phone helped the best! I kept some of the best memorie-pictures on one hard drive. So theoretically they are still there but they are not accessible for me. And this helps so much.
It hurts so bad. I'm trying to balance focusing on myself and healing emotionally. I need to deal with these feeling and not do anything numb them. My heart is cold. Im dead inside.
Thanks going through a really hard break up as of last night. I think this one hurts more because we don’t hate each other or nothing serious broke us up. Just have different points of views on big topics. So the love is still there from both of us. Thanks
This was great advice and true in my experience. When I think about people from my past, I really had to be tough with myself and just cut off the good and the bad memories and force myself to replace them with other activities that would occupy my mind. God was it hard, but it really does work over time. I stopped reading anything that had to do with them (past text messages, notes I kept on my phone about things they liked) and forced myself to have a months long period where I absolutely was not allowed to look at pictures or any obvious reminders of them until I really felt strong enough. It works if you let it, but the problem is forcing yourself to stick with it.
I did the chart and he doesn't have any negatives, he been nice for years.
Clark, I found you first time when I was going through a reaalllyyyyyyy tough breakup last year. I remember watching and having this intense pain in my chest that I didn’t know what to do because I never felt that way ever. But after your video I gained clarity, comfort. You were my gateway into self-improvement and healing. So this video took me back 😅
Are you currently facing the same situation?
@@Selflovexpedition no, I’m in a better state now, better than ever actually. This break up was my breakthrough 🩵
Was a needed video. Been obsessed with someone who just wasn’t ready and he wasn’t able to give me what I needed. Truly an amazing person but wrong time. Just cannot stop thinking about him and all the good. Highly annoying as I’m a pretty disciplined woman. Miss him a lot and I was extremely highly heartbroken over Christmas😢 but it is what it is! Just need to stop thinking about him! Thank you for making this video as it’s is most definitely needed ❤
Hi. I’m in the same boat as you! The girl that I’m in love with (who was my high school sweetheart 22yrs ago) came back into my life but only wants to be friends. We’re both single, never married & no kids (at 40). I told her that I can’t see her as just a friend. But it’s either be friends for now and maybe have a chance when she’s ready or just cut her loose all together. I’m so lost. Part of me wants to take the friendship so I at least have her in my life but I can already feel the pain that will cause me. Any advice anyone? Thank you in advance.
@@Andrew714oc take a step back. You’ll only feel more devastated if it doesn’t go to plan. Live her from a distance. Build yourself up, keep busy and be the best version of yourself. If it’s ment to be, she’ll most definitely be with you.
@@starryeyed_enchantress1183 thank you so much for such wonderful advice.
@@Andrew714oc you’re welcome ☺️ you’ll be great. Just trust the process!
How are you feeling now? Did you go no contact with them? I'm in a similar situation right now, only i was the dumped one
“You can be all you can be” love this!
Yes and when it rains your wet
Journaling has been a big help. Getting therapy is also beneficial because talking about it is a huge relief. I myself am in that grieving stage but I'm going to use the experience to make myself a better more resilient person.
@7:04
After my break up, I read where a person suggested to right a list of the “Pros and Cons” of the relationship! Whenever I ruminated about the relationship I read that list!
It instantly put everything in perspective!
What's crazy is when you still feel that way after getting married to someone else and having a family. I struggled for 25 years to get over my first love. I never will get over her, but I'm trying to live my life the best way I can. On the plus side, I wrote a book about her and it went on to become a 4x Amazon bestseller, which helps.
Break ups are really tough and I really appreciate this video. It really helped me get through a hard time. I lost a relationship of five years due to my stupidity of my actions and not caring and in return, I lost her so now I’m trying to cope with the pain it’s been a month and I feel like I’m getting better and sometimes I don’t but as time can tell, I will get better overtime
I’ve watched a lot of these type of videos over the past month since my 5 year relationship ended and I have to say that this has been one of the most helpful. Thank you.
Great video Clark, thank you so much! I would like to add, there is an element that is not talked in this video: the love bombing stage of narcissist/sociopath/psychopaths. The first stage of love with them is so potent and it stays deep in our vein, if we don't understand that type of psychology to truly understand what they are, it so potent yet it's all an illusion they make for us to fall in their traps. Much blessings to all xo
You are so Right!! I want to go back in time and call him out on his games!
Helpful info! What convicted me was your opening: "If you REALLY want to get over someone...". I realize I don't want to get over her, I want her back...still...4 years after divorce, I remain stuck. She don't want me but I want her. I have dated and ended those relationships because I would rather be with her. I can't imagine a better woman or relationship. It ended because I was bored and sought attention elsewhere which lead to an emotional affair. Again, this video was helpful and I appreciate your sincerity in wanting to help people move on.
It's been almost 27 yrs 😢still miss him; even if he wasn't the best for me nor I for him. He is my twin flame though; I can feel him in my soul. 😢 💔 Longest slowest heartbreak ever. We never broke up, just drifted apart. We are friends, it's better than nothing. 😢❤
.... saddening
Drifting apart is sad :(
Why did u keep the friendship . It stops u from moving on
I’ll never fall for anyone again. Opening up, sharing secrets, sharing your body, putting your all into a relationship, just to go from one day “I love you” and the next day “I hate you”. It’s just too much pain, there’s no point trusting anyone when they say they love you and don’t ever want to lose, when they can easily walk away over a minuscule argument!
You will be ok,,and get the love you deserve one day.
I feel you...😢
After 2 years of me being in a complicated relationship with a guy, I'm still in a healing process of moving on from him. He was the type of person I was looking for, but it's unfortunate how we're not together anymore. I would cry, keep looking at pictures and videos of that person, and listen to Giveon sometimes. Also, I wrote a song about it. Idk if I would date a new guy at the moment because I don't see myself paired up with them, but at the same time, I wish I could feel loved again. I was told that God would bring someone to me, or let them come up to me naturally. Until then, I have to stick with self-love, which sometimes suck. Overall, this video was great, and I will definitely follow these steps.
*I’ve been looking for YEARS for a video just like this one. THANK YOU.❤*
They are literally all over youtube. This is not unique.
Are you still struggling to cope with a situation let me know
@@Selflovexpedition I am.
@@ayayron7776OK tell me your problem! it would be great if I can help as I've overcome such situations in my life too
This is one of the most helpful videos you have ever created. Thank you!
I appreciated this video. Coming from a single father with no family but my son. My baby mama left me after 10 years and I don’t hold it against her. I just want what’s best for our son. So I figured if she’s moving ahead and not looking back. I need to do the same. It’s rough and it’s been a rough few weeks but it’s not impossible. But it sure is tough. Very.
how are you feeling these days ?
Going through something very similar man
@@letlifemoveyou I’m sorry to hear that. It’s been 7 months now. I’m doing better. All I can say is that I learned a lot from this relationship and that , despite everything. As a man , father. We just have to keep going. For me , it was about staying busy and focused. Looking for a new outlet too. Change. Change is good. Tough , but good.
I absolutely love this video, I hung on to an ex ( whom I know is not good for me) just because I kept thinking he will change his mind and come back. I am finally learning to let go after 8 years.
This was an excellent video for a normal/healthy relationship, but would you consider doing one for toxic/abusive relationships? I've been through many breakups that shook me and threw me off, but coming out of a toxic relationship was a different beast and had me struggling for air for like half a year. I totally forgot who I was, lost all sense of self worth, and had to fight to get myself back. Just a request, no biggie if you don't want to/aren't comfortable! Take care, Clark, and thanks for your great work.
CRAPPY CHILDHOOD Fairy Channel!!!
Thank you @@Humgin1234
Right now i feel like running mad ,,, my husband left me with kids with no goodbye since monday and no one knows where he is he rather sent a message that he is fine and hapoy where he is
Are you any better?
I’ve watched a thousand of these and this one hits home. Thank you .
Best break-up video I've seen all year. Thank you. Really really needed this. Saving it.
Currently going through a separation, most likely my SECOND divorce. I blamed myself mostly for both of these, but I'm starting to see clearly and realize that there was a ton of negatives that I just overlooked and focused too much on the few positives. This video definitely helped my mind get in the right place tonight. I really appreciate you putting this video out. I do deserve better and I can move on. I can't believe it took me this long to realize it.
thank u. My therapy isn’t going through and I need as much guidance as I can. Just feels like it’s impossible to talk to someone.
So thank u. This is a start.
This was such a great video. Really helping me to refocus my energy back on myself!
It is my 5th day after the b word. This is the first video, since then, that I was able to watch through till the end, it was authentic and to the point. Thank you and blessings to all who are in the same position as me. I, am ready to turn it into my breakthrough and am excited to love and be loved again. It was the flip of the coin for me because it is always something I also tend to preach about when times are good.
The hardest part is that some people/souls get attached to my energy fields and stay there for a while. Not only lovers but also people I seem to grapple with. How to remove or resolve those attachments...
I feel ya. I'm going through this myself but my situation may be a tad different than most men here. Hear me out ...
I'm a single dad with two kiddos. I was married eight years and got divorced last year. I waited a full year before I even tried dating. I met this amazing woman and she was looking for her person. Her life partner because she wants kids. She's 34 and wants them by 40. Well, I'm 44 and I don't want more children. There was always this underlying negative about kids when everything else in the relationship was fantastic. We had to end it last week and it has been f..king BRUTAL. It's been brutal because there's nothing wrong with us. I have to walk away from one of the greatest humans I've ever met just because our view on children is different. It's just sad.
Oh my goodness gracious!!! This is exactly what I needed with such a great delivery. Thank you
I’m going through this at this exact moment and watching every kind of video available to get out of this miserable state of mind. It’s been really tough. Thanks for the video.
That felt good . Thank you so much . A heartfelt comment, really needed this in this time of pain. THANK YOU MAN AND YOUR TEAM who made this video possible. ❤
Clark, first of all I would like to point out how concise and straight to the point this video was.
I’ve never looked at a break up from 2 sides (pain + pleasure) as you mentioned you should. This information is very valuable and I appreciate you putting it together to help us.
Literally cried for 45 days straight god i miss her 😢
Yep brutal, 10/10. This was one of the best I’ve found for helping right now.
My issue is that I'm a very sensetive and emotinal man, and when I was with my ex I had somewhere to channel all those wonderful thoughts and feelings that I have inside me, I had someone to love and take care off. But now without her, I have nobody all I have have left are the negative emotions, I feel as if she took a part of me and left
I understand completely.
Move on ! This is not the end of the world! Go I believe in u
@@njrom2975 I know, I know. Thank you, it's getting better and will only get better with more time. My logical mind realized it is over a long time ago but my feelings just have to catch up.
Excellent advice! I also feel like my biggest growth has come after big transitions. I was ‘broken up with’ one week ago in a civilized, compassionate way and am handling it in a mostly healthy fashion. Even so, it’s hard. I am going to utilize the steps you’ve suggested. Thank you!
The problem some of love the hardest and when someone switches on us... It's either that moment makes us or breaks us.
This seriously is THE best advice. Been almost a year and I’m still struggling. You described me to a “T” and I’m taking what you said to heart. Thank you.
Thanks clark this popped up at the right time for me , I have not been in a realtionship and broken up with someone but they were on my mind a lot As I learned we share the same birthday and year and have many similarities but we don't see each other often enough and thinking about her was distracting me from my true path.
❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing this knowledge for free. I appreciate it. I lost the girl of my dreams. I like her voice, her smile. The problem is we are in the same office. Now she hides a relationship with another officemate behind me which they don't know that I know. I know this guy is bad for her. Still care for her even though I shouldn't. Hurt, cringe and very hard to move on...
How can someone one day suddenly just loose all feelings and attachments when you were in a perfect relationship..is that even possible 😭😭
I know how that feels. When someone who used to be affectionate to you suddenly gone cold. Then you kinda knew it gonna end bad.
So I learned never be to invested because I am not the fortune type to find true love.
Me too asking the same question
Same.First treat you like they like you all of sudden hates come.I am very sad heart broken because of his action.
Fck knows.
Hi, I’m on this side of the relationship and believe me it hurts just as much as the person getting broken up with. I loved him for 8 years, I still do. He is a part of me but ultimately I couldn’t go on in our perfect little life. I felt trapped for no apparent reason, I felt sad, I felt guilty. He loves me so much and he would do anything if it meant that I would stick around. Eventually I outgrew the relationship and we hit a dead end. He would’ve kept trying to fix it, but there was nothing that could fix my heart screaming for more. It couldn’t possibly have been a forever. I really thought it would be, so did he. Falling out of love sucks so hard. It’s terrifying how the strong love I had romantically started fading into a intimate yet more platonic bond. I hate myself for letting him go. He resents me too although he would never admit it.
Great video. Hard to move on but great to hear there’s hope
The Memory stick method is a good one. Not only because you don't want to erase your past, but it's a great way to tell yourself you have control over your pain. Erased from your computer and phone so you don't need to see it and imprisoned in a small fragile stick you can crush in the palm of your hand and erase everything for good.
One phrase someone in the comments had said and somehow reduced my anxiety and dependency instantly is "They weren't The One, If they were, they will never let you go". Kinda makes you feel some hope that you can live without them and that you can find a better love in someone else.
This video is really well timed for me, I just got divorced last month after 14 years of marriage. I've been trying to figure out how to let myself move on, and your advice here has really helped my perspective.
EFT Tapping helps! I wish you all the love and peace
happened to me in 2019 , keep yourself active - exercise - avoid alcohol , read books and exercise ( get tired ) - good luck ! 🥇