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For everybody going through a breakup right now, lemme tell u something, it's gonna be okay, give it time. Now you're grieving, but in a few months, it will hurt less and you're gonna find inner peace. Keep going. Don't consider your relationship as over, consider it as completed, it's gonna make a huge difference. May God Help us.
I’ve got an ex I call “Asteroid Boy” because our collision sent me off on a trajectory I could never have imagined. Led to a complete change and total fucking growth.
“Write out what you would be willing to commit to in a partner in the future”. I did this a couple a years back : ) Awesome thing to do. It made me realise how little the “dream” ex was actually giving. And what I was capable of instead.
Pray tell, how can I do and feel the same. I'm a guy, and I'm sick of feeling devastated for 8 months now, when the relationship I had with the girl didn't even last that long...
@@FBread-xj8qkAll I know is …time will lend its healing ❤️🩹 hand upon you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Feel the pain, let it all out and it will make you feel lighter and better little by little. One day at a time 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 you got this 💪
@@FBread-xj8qk You already have the answers...it feels devastating, because at your point in life you might have thought that this relationship resembles your future; the only fault here being that you think THE RELATIONSHIP with THAT PERSON is THE ONLY WAY to a fulfilled future...and that's not true. I know how it feels, because I've recently been dumped by someone I thought would be my future. It all got mixed up in my head (with my other past relationship) and my feelings of self worth CRUSHED. No meaning without that person - is what I thought. But one thing helped me: actually switch how you think about the "worth" of that RELATIONSHIP. It's the WORTH YOU GIVE IT. What I mean? The relationship must've triggered such thoughts and feelings of WHAT YOU WANT and WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. But those things were INSIDE YOU all along. That encounter just helped you notice those...What to do now? Reflect on THOSE THINGS and see that you can achieve so much without that person. Also: if the person does not see the beauty in your person and character, then I guess it's better the relationship is over. You will survive it. I am also trying and really GRATEFUL for the insights the person gave me. It was not the right time. But I learned a lot about myself and the world around.
How is that growth going? Do you still think the same about the situation? Have you found other things/people/situations/beliefs to help you (grow)? Greetings ❤
Loved the part about "don't suppress." It brings me back to a quote I once heard: "The greatest pain comes from trying not to feel that which needs to be felt."
@@reef2980 -- it means if you feel like crying, do it. If you feel sad, feel sad and spend some time processing why you are. If you are in pain, don't pretend you aren't and whatever you do, don't self-medicate. Otherwise, you just make the underlying pain even worse and it will come back to get you.
Not a problem, some of us couldn't get a rebound even if we wanted to. That's honestly the worst, you're feeling rejected and down from being dumped, so you go out on a Friday night, but end up going home alone, not by choice. Just makes you feel even more rejected and down.
@@fuzzypanda1684can’t lie man, i’ve been dealing w the same feelings, but if your self esteem is coming from whether girls are giving you attention, you aren’t healthy enough for a serious relationship.
My gf or ex and i broke up 5 days ago. It's crazy how most of us that are going thru this feel almost the same thing. For me it's terrifying to have this emotional roller-coaster, especially when being numb. I really need to let my emotions come out, feel them and lean into the pain. I juat hope it does not last that long so that i can move forward again 🙏🏽 I wish everyone else good recover in the process
@@MJ-gh9bl Hang in there. Try and use this time to reflect and work on your values, own them and take back your life. Sending you all the love and strenght, you are not alone in this
I met her when I was in a dark place. We both grew so much together. It’s hard to think I might never have her in my life again. Regardless of what’s happened or is going to happen, we must grow, not for them but for ourselves
@@babyyoda4942 Taking one day at a time, depression is still there but getting better. using this breakup to become the 2.0 version on myself like Clark says. Quit smoking weed for good because of it so i guess its a blessing in disguise, im not understanding totally what went wrong. you just cant actually and thats ok we should not ruminate on what could be and what we did wrong. a breakup doesnt mean youre less than. Smile because it happened. Its better to have loved and experience loss than to not have loved at all.
Im at week 6 after finding out about my gf cheating. shit is so much better now, im actualy surprised how much ive bounced back in that small amount of time. HOPE YOU ARE DOING A LITTLE BETTER NOW MRSTONE
Completely agree with all of this. I got yoked after I was dumped and now I love training hard. Even though it was the most painful time of my life, I look back on it and feel extreme pride and it's one of the best memories I have.
Reading comments on these kinds of videos is really healing. Damn near all of us experience heartbreak and just feel completely lost afterwards. My gf and I broke up today and not gonna lie, I’m crying while typing this. Fellas if you’re reading this and you think it’s “unmanly” to cry, let those fucking emotions out. Edit: I don’t know how to deal with step 4 on my current breakup. I did it on my last but this time is different. I see her at work and we share the same friend group which hangs out at least once a month… We ended things mutually but I really don’t know how this is going to work
Same bro I don't know how? I ended the relationship with her but the problem is we are working on same internship together as a team and we meet every week. But getting over in such a way is not possible for me. It just hits me back again. Plz share your experience if u get over it
Needed this in my teens and early 20s. Lost a coworker and friend in 2011 because her husband shot her, then himself because she wanted a divorce. We got to LEARN about our emotions or be controlled by them.
Step 2 advice is so solid. I tried to be friends with my ex for 3 years and we finally just cut ties. We dated for 2 years and we lived together as roommates for a year and a half after. I def held out hope we would get back together even though I dated others. Once he said he wanted to focus on himself but he still wanted to be friends. I had to be honest with myself that I knew I wanted more. So I made the decision to cut ties all together. Deleted all pics, text and his number. It’s not easy but it’s def the best thing you can do. I’m only 5 days out of the separation but I have accepted and began the process of letting go with love and appreciation.
Dude I freaking love this. Thank you so much. This is a physical plan to get over her. It's not just no contact. No contact is all I find. You are the first to set a physical plan and path up for me. I can't thank you enough.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
I think this applies to some situations but not all. No one should go back to an abuser but sometimes life is more complicated sometimes a breakup happens for a benign reason like an unexpected move or something.
amazing video . Due to previous separations i’ve learned the value of consistently working out , built an investment portfolio, learned a ton about attachment theory and communication. while it was hard at first it really put me in a great trajectory for the future
1st week after our breakup, fuck this feeling man! I feel awful. It hurts a lot. Really really hurts. I wish someday I could back to this video, and say I'm strong.😢
I think that erasing their digital footprint on all your devices is more effective than just blocking or unfollowing them. Mute their posts, stop checking their social media, delete chats, delete pictures… if you’re like me and you’d use these to get a fix or get triggered by them, erase their digital footprint on all your devices. Otherwise, you’re prolonging the healing process. I still can’t bring myself to unfollow or block though because it feels too drastic compared to how civilly the break up went.
You've got to unfollow. Doesn't matter if you broke up civilly. You're doing it for yourself, for your personal growth. You're putting yourself first, not the memory of the relationship. I think that sends an even better message than if you were to follow them, not that sending a message should be why you do this.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Wife of 4 years... Just told me she was leaving Sunday morning and has not spoken a single word to me since. Feel like I'm a ghost in my own home and I have to see her morning, noon and night. She made it even worse last night because when I climbed into bed she got up and went and slept on the couch. It's like death by a thousand cuts because I have to watch her packing her things, move, etc. It's going to take months. There is no ripping the band aid off and just deleting photos and phone numbers, etc. This has been absolutely unbearable. UPDATE - We sought couples therapy and I thought we had gotten past her issues. Her biggest one was that she claims I always made my daughters my priority vs her. We each have 2 kids from our priors. Well, we woke up on Christmas morning in a great mood. Around noon I told her my oldest daughter was coming over for Xmas and spending the night. Apparently I forgot to ask and discuss it with her. She completely flipped...started screaming at me, cussing at me and told me it was over. Stormed out of the house as the kids were about to open presents and that was it. She didn't come back until late Christmas night. Presents are still under the tree. She told me she'd be out in 6 weeks and moved into another bedroom. Hasn't spoken a single word to me since. I just don't know what to do. This is insanity. Who flips out because one of the children comes over on Christmas?!?! I would never expect her to ask me if one of her sons can come over.
@@Lils3m Thank you for asking. Oddly, things have gotten better over the last several weeks. I swear that some days I'm not sure she doesn't have a personality disorder. She goes to bed Dr Jekyll and wakes up Mr Hyde. Lately, we've gotten along well, but I'm just holding my breath for the next blow up. If this one does not work out I've promised myself that I'm going to remain single for a very long time. I'm done with it. It's just not worth it. After all, the bible says that it's better to be alone than with a quarrelsome wife. 100% true. How are you?
@@ctgeorgia Glad to hear that it has gotten better. But it sounds like it must be extremely though to be in your situation... I agree that it is definitely better to be alone than with somebody that slowly sucks the life out of you. Of course in all relationships there will be problems, but the - let's call it - effort/reward ratio should be reasonable one for both parties, and no one should sacrifice too many pieces of themselves to keep something going. I don't know if you're both open to that, but has she considered therapy? It sounds like it might be a good step into diving into the root of the problem. When it comes to myself it's been tough few months for me. I'm 26 and I've been dating someone that is 7 years older and I think that the age-gap in our case makes too much difference for me (for many different reasons) to keep this "relationship" going. It seems that it would be the best for me to let this go, but I just can't bring myself to do it due to some feelings that I feel for her. But I think I'm just delaying the inevitable
hey just wanted to say thank you so much for this. almost a month into the worst heartbreak of my life and it hasnt been getting any better and this video helped cut the edge off so thank you :)
the universe always provides. Currently heart broken, hadn't been on your channel In a little.. and what do you know. A video just for me. Thanks man, I appreciate you
It feels reaally disappointing because I thought she was the one, and it just feels like she doesn't like me as much as I do. It hurt my self esteem and respect especially because i was selfless in the relationship. Thanks for the advice here, it makes me feel less alone that others are struggling with the same thing. It will get better.
I'm on week 2 of an official breakup and the hardest part is knowing I contributed most to the breakup and physically she was the ideal partner. I'm trying to focus on what she didn't do well, and what she didn't have in hopes I can manifest the total package. I keep subconsciously comparing other girls to her appearance and it's keeping me miserable. This video helped a lot but this 11 weeks is gonna be tough.
Hey mate i have got your video on repeat and i am taking everything on board geading tot he store to get that protible hard drive for the photos man this feeling is so hard. so much commitment and energy down the drain and now i feel so numb, broken and tired. I wanna cry but for some reason a tear wont leave my eyes yet i feel the tears are right there.
I just ended things with my boyfriend of four months, doesn’t sound too serious but we’ve been on and off for a few years now and this one’s permanent. I can’t really feel any sadness or anything and it worries me, so to see you say you were in the same situation brings me hope that I can feel the emotions I’m suppressing and eventually grow stronger and heal
Third day after a breakup and now all i can feel is sadness, I'm worried, I'm scared, my body feels so heavy, hot and weak, I feel like I'm going to die, i couldn't sleep last night, my face hurts from crying. 😢
He just broke up with me a little over an hour ago. I feel the same way. But ultimately there are more pleasures in life than just being in relationships, or with that person. Cherish the time you have on your own. You are the only person who can make yourself feel whole. You're still alive, in one piece, and you will be when you heal from this.
I'm going through a breakup right now, and I wasn't sure what to do. After googling and looking around online, you have me good direction. Thank you for the help and for giving me the first step to healing. ❤
I keep searching for her face and body when I look for other women to be involved with. The 11 week rule helped a lot because it put a barometer on the amount of time it could take to get over this. Trying to imagine her as not existing anymore is a big help but the delusion of it makes it hard. Never had a break up this bad, I'm just trying to use it as a teaching moment. I'm seeing what I could improve on as a person and what I can use as motivation going into my next relationship. If we didn't break up the way we did I don't think I would've seen my biggest flaw, but this shit is hard to get over. I didn't realize how great she was until I knew I couldn't go back and social media let me see things that made it hurt more.
I broke up with him last week, and I still regret it. I had been bouncing the idea of breaking up with him in my mind for months because I wasn't getting the relationship I needed, but ultimately I stayed because I loved him. Every day I wished he was different: like that man I knew when we first started the relationship. But stress and life took a toll on us, and led me to cutting the cord. It was my first relationship. Nothing had ever prepared me for the absolute obliteration, even as the person who initiated the break up. Send help. :'(
I commend you on your courage and generosity. The fact that you didn't rush into breaking up with him but listened to your love for a while speaks volumes to me. I did the same, I thoroughly loved the woman, but I was beginning to pay the price of her lack of self-awareness and inability to process her feelings. I thank you for putting it so simply: you weren't getting the relationship you needed; neither was I, even if I liked many things about her. It was killing me. I hope you will find a person that truly deserves you and that so will I. For the moment, let yourself be
I think the worst part is that I have to accept that the breakup was equally my fault as hers. Which hurts so much because I feel like I failed her and myself. It would be so much easier if I could just hate her and be angry and just whatever but I can't and I have no idea how much more tears I have left
That 11-week rule is wild I wish I heard that 4 years ago now it's a different girl but shit would have saved me so much damn heartache back then and these past couple of weeks lmao
Wish I could control time... To rewind and go back, change my actions and behaviors to prevent this pain Im feeling now. To fast forward and skip to a time in the future when this pain has gone away.
Great advice. I was in the ‘numb out’ phase and it was brutal to my soul and poor liver 😣 Surviving that dark night of the soul was a blessing. I couldn’t be who I am now in that past relationship. I hope people can find some relief 🌟
Stumbled on this video and have never seen your stuff before. All excellent advice but I really want to commend you for providing honest and humble advice. So tired of seeing other influencers push toxic advice shrouded in some BS masculine agenda As a dude. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt because you miss a girl that you loved. And depending on the situation, your ex may not deserve to be viewed as some worthless commodity. You don’t need to demonize your ex to move on but you do need to move on and the advice here is a healthy way to start.
Phase II is what I call the 90 day no contact period. It’s needed to disengage your emotions and break the feelings of connection. You don’t see, hear, or engage with them in any form. It helps the healing process and forces you to focus on yourself.
The reason people obsess with how their ex is doing is not necessarily because you still love them and want them back, in fact often times you know you want something/someone different...The real reason is you have control issues. Once you understand it's not love that keeps you thinking of that ex, you should and will start moving on. Give it a few months and if you can, make new friends and connections or reach out to close existing ones..New interactions will become more important than old ones by pure recency bias. Your heart and mind will instinctively say, ENOUGH! when the time is right and you will come out on the other side hopefully having learned how you can be a better partner when the next person comes along.
We've been dating for two years and turned out that he was seeing someone else for almost half a year. It hurt so bad that i cried every minute, hadn't eaten anything until now, and then after our break up, he promised me that he would change himself for me, and after a few days, he said that he would go to the girl he cheated on me with. I feel like dying because he broke my heart again. I feel so stupid for not wanting him to go after all he did because i really love him, and now that it is all over, i don't know how to help myself forget him.
Time. And no contact. Resist every urge to check their socials, visit the places you know they’ll be at. Just don’t. Venting, friends can only take so much a counselled or therapist helps at this stage. Just take each day step by step. The pain will fade in time, trust in yourself to get through this!
Healing from a breakup can be tough, but know you're not alone. I'm on this journey too, and it's okay to feel the pain. But remember, you deserve to heal, grow, and find happiness again. But here's the thing: you deserve to heal, to grow, and to find happiness again. It's time to prioritize your own heart, to protect yourself from the what-ifs, and to focus on the incredible person you are. Remember, moving on doesn't mean erasing the memories or the love you shared. It means acknowledging the past, learning from it, and embracing the present with an open heart. Keep moving forward, even when it feels like the smallest step. Let's prioritize our own hearts, protect ourselves, and focus on the incredible people we are. We got this, and we're in this together!
Everyone reading this , believe in yourself and never forget to focus on you and your family . relationships come and go & until you find your true love. Everyone else before was just a place holder and a learning moment . You will be just fine I promise 😉. Your story isn’t done .
idk why these creators are not talking about Divine Goddess Appeal by Lentlish, you can literally attract your ex back after reading that forbidden knowledge
No contact is the most painful method to get over. I have done both. Spending my time after break up with contact and without contact. After my divorce I stayed on contact with my ex wife and I got over her pretty easily. I saw her flaws and bad attitude every day and my desire towards her died out soon. She was just an average woman for me I did not want back. With my lovely gf who dumped me out of the blue without any serious reason I started the no contact. And it is damn terrible. I think about her damn every day. I miss her more and more. I idealize her. I can not get over her at all. After the last break up and during the no contact I am actually the human wreckage. I hide this and I make brave face but I am destroyed inside.
I broke up with my lady friend a year and a half ago. I guess I am going through dumpers’s remorse. Three months after we broke up, she met somebody and was dating. I think now she has a friend with benefits. I am still going through Sadness. Trying to get out of the slump. I can’t stop thinking about her.
Thank you Clark for sharing this video. You have put a lot of time, energy and effort in this. This will help a lot of people. You are amazing! Thank you for being You!! 😺
to a much lesser degree you also have to deal with electronic ghosts when people are not metaphorically but actually dead to you. I had to deal with stuff like that after my mother died a few years ago. removing her number from my contacts archiving message threads removing buy gifts reminders from my google calendar etc. obviously this is not someone I am trying to forget but cutting down on the little electric jabs that she isn't here anymore helps a little with the grieving.
I was in such disbelief in the beginning I was numb by day 4 I literally cried for an hour and a half until my eyes were swollen. My tears came out of nowhere and I allowed myself to feel into it and surprisingly I felt a little better afterwards. I’m still in pain though.
Dam young man, you are a bright boy. Thanks from a hurting old guy! All common sense, which sometime we sometimes need a little reminding. The last one doesn't work in my case, because it is just a list of all the qualities that I loved and enjoyed the last four years. Just getting dumped didn't see or expect.
"ONCE YOU BECOME A PICKLE, YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO BEING A CUCUMBER." I haven't laughed at something so silly yet wisely true like that for a while now, thanks! 😊
I'm currently going through one and boy it is tough, I do not know how to process it clearly. I wanted to fix my flaws and be with her again but it's too late. I don't want this relationship to end...
I agree with everything but…deal with an ex-wife after 23 years of marriage and two children in common. I ‘ll survive surely but it will be not easy to struggle. Cheers from Switzerland!
There's some good stuff here, but be careful, because not everyone who throws themselves into a new venture gets positive results. If you hit the gym and get jacked, only to not be able to attract a new girl, or dedicate yourself to a new business, only to have it go nowhere, it can actually make you feel worse about yourself because you did what you were supposed to do and put in the time, but didn't get the results. It's like if you decide to go out to get laid on a Friday night to suppress the pain, but end up going home alone, and it's your 12th time in a row striking out. What started as a way to make yourself feel better and move on backfired, and now you feel worse than you did before. Be even MORE careful with the exercise at the end of imagining your perfect partner. Because while some people might do so and actually manage to attract them into their lives, if you do that, then go on to meet many girls who fulfill that vision, only to have none of them have any interest in you, it hurts. A lot.
After you felt what you needed to feel and acknowledge your loss, then you need to place yourself in a position to forget, that is, avoid contact with the person as if they did not exist, because they are nor part of your life anymore and the sooner that’s embraced the sooner healing will complete its course. That is what he meant :)
What helped me was... after he discarded me the second time so cold and without remorse.. a friend told him that she thinks i would do something bad to myself... he texted back "lol, im high and i dont wanna bother with it"... after a 2.5yrs relationship and he moved on asap... this put me instant in the "fuck you" phase... all of my "but he is my pookie" feelings went to rage... using this rage to hit the gym, make music, new tattoos etc etc ... the only thing im crying over is that i was so dumb to trust him and looking over all the red flags..
Love your videos, as always you're incredibly wise and you know how to speak in an amazing engaging manner. And it is cute how when you will share a personal story you ask if it's ok with us. Thanks for sharing all your knowledge, stay safe
I ran from my last relationship because i couldnt deal with the emotions. almost 2 yrs later now my ex is seeing someone else and now im extremely depressed and my anxiety is almost unmanageable
If I were in my 20s, this break up wouldn’t have hurt so much, but now at 32 out of a 6 year relationship. It feels like I’m one of the those left over singles. I’ll die alone 💔
I am so sorry you are going through this 🤗 I am also at an older age and both my siblings got engaged when my relationship went to shit (we officially broke up yesterday). I feel like it's too late for me, and I feel I am somehow broken or not good enough for people to choose. But I know this is my pain telling me lies, and in actuality being in your early 30s is actually young 😊 Wishing you strength 💪
Im 31 and just broke up too. Can relate. But i also remember a family friend who dated and got married in her 50s... Although in my case i guess its unlikely since i dont meet enough people
My relationship was becoming toxic when it ended. I still love the woman, but I know I'll never be a cucumber again. It was important to me for things to end in a civilized way, but that didn't make it any easier. I'm getting the USB key tomorrow. I've cried all the tears I had to cry and it's taken me a month to get to the point where I'm finally ready to let her go. I'm glad I've had this person in my life because she made me fall in love for the first time in many, many years. I wish her well and I hope she finds peace.
Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
For everybody going through a breakup right now, lemme tell u something, it's gonna be okay, give it time. Now you're grieving, but in a few months, it will hurt less and you're gonna find inner peace. Keep going. Don't consider your relationship as over, consider it as completed, it's gonna make a huge difference. May God Help us.
thank you , looking at it as completed is great advice
Amen
Thank you
Thank you.
are you sure...? for me, she was everything for me...i dont have anyone left in my life now...will i be okay?
The fact that I’m still alive after all my failed relationships is good enough.
Well reasoned conclusion
are you though? maybe we’re all dead already 💀
I hear you
Understood
Relatable brother
Every time my phone rings or I get a text I have this physical reaction hoping it’s him and then when I see It’s not I’m devastated all over again.
Same thing. Just hoping I get a text back one day. Probably never will, and it hurts to accept that.
Fuck…I’m in so much pain right now. This heartbreak has me wanting to give up…
@@Devil_Kenjiwe are on the same boat. I’m so depressed. Let’s stay strong
Its same with me its hard to wake up and breathe.. he says he will never gonna come back and I need to deal this on my own.. i am scared for myself😓
@@AndyKingCo alright brother. I’m down for that
I’ve got an ex I call “Asteroid Boy” because our collision sent me off on a trajectory I could never have imagined. Led to a complete change and total fucking growth.
“Write out what you would be willing to commit to in a partner in the future”.
I did this a couple a years back : ) Awesome thing to do. It made me realise how little the “dream” ex was actually giving. And what I was capable of instead.
Pray tell, how can I do and feel the same. I'm a guy, and I'm sick of feeling devastated for 8 months now, when the relationship I had with the girl didn't even last that long...
@@FBread-xj8qkAll I know is …time will lend its healing ❤️🩹 hand upon you 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 Feel the pain, let it all out and it will make you feel lighter and better little by little. One day at a time 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 you got this 💪
@@FBread-xj8qk You already have the answers...it feels devastating, because at your point in life you might have thought that this relationship resembles your future; the only fault here being that you think THE RELATIONSHIP with THAT PERSON is THE ONLY WAY to a fulfilled future...and that's not true. I know how it feels, because I've recently been dumped by someone I thought would be my future. It all got mixed up in my head (with my other past relationship) and my feelings of self worth CRUSHED. No meaning without that person - is what I thought. But one thing helped me: actually switch how you think about the "worth" of that RELATIONSHIP. It's the WORTH YOU GIVE IT. What I mean? The relationship must've triggered such thoughts and feelings of WHAT YOU WANT and WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. But those things were INSIDE YOU all along. That encounter just helped you notice those...What to do now? Reflect on THOSE THINGS and see that you can achieve so much without that person. Also: if the person does not see the beauty in your person and character, then I guess it's better the relationship is over. You will survive it. I am also trying and really GRATEFUL for the insights the person gave me. It was not the right time. But I learned a lot about myself and the world around.
How is that growth going? Do you still think the same about the situation? Have you found other things/people/situations/beliefs to help you (grow)? Greetings ❤
Loved the part about "don't suppress."
It brings me back to a quote I once heard: "The greatest pain comes from trying not to feel that which needs to be felt."
Good quote 👌
100%
Genuinely asking, what does it mean in this context?
@@reef2980 -- it means if you feel like crying, do it. If you feel sad, feel sad and spend some time processing why you are. If you are in pain, don't pretend you aren't and whatever you do, don't self-medicate. Otherwise, you just make the underlying pain even worse and it will come back to get you.
@andrewjohnson7474 thanks for your quick reply. I already thought it would mean something like that but I wasn't sure, thanks for clarifying that
It really does feel like the worst feeling any human could bear. But we always manage to overcome. If you’re reading this let’s stay strong
Stay away from the rebound, they really just fill in a void. Work on you and if you did love the person you broke off with come back a healed person.
Not a problem, some of us couldn't get a rebound even if we wanted to. That's honestly the worst, you're feeling rejected and down from being dumped, so you go out on a Friday night, but end up going home alone, not by choice. Just makes you feel even more rejected and down.
@@fuzzypanda1684yes but don’t go out, go to the gym and to church. You’d be surprised how fast that’ll flip YOUR situation
@@shadowsbruther Not religious, but I've been an avid gym goer for years. I get lots of looks and stares, but I still can't get any actual interest.
@@fuzzypanda1684can’t lie man, i’ve been dealing w the same feelings, but if your self esteem is coming from whether girls are giving you attention, you aren’t healthy enough for a serious relationship.
My gf or ex and i broke up 5 days ago. It's crazy how most of us that are going thru this feel almost the same thing. For me it's terrifying to have this emotional roller-coaster, especially when being numb. I really need to let my emotions come out, feel them and lean into the pain. I juat hope it does not last that long so that i can move forward again 🙏🏽
I wish everyone else good recover in the process
My bf broke with me too☹️
Going through this after a 5 year relationship
@@MJ-gh9bl Hang in there. Try and use this time to reflect and work on your values, own them and take back your life. Sending you all the love and strenght, you are not alone in this
Its same with me its hard to wake up and breathe.. he says he will never gonna come back and I need to deal this on my own.. i am scared for myself😓
How are u doing now?
I met her when I was in a dark place. We both grew so much together. It’s hard to think I might never have her in my life again. Regardless of what’s happened or is going to happen, we must grow, not for them but for ourselves
This video couldnt more on point with timing, just broke up yesterday. Thank you.
how u doing bro
@@babyyoda4942 Taking one day at a time, depression is still there but getting better. using this breakup to become the 2.0 version on myself like Clark says. Quit smoking weed for good because of it so i guess its a blessing in disguise, im not understanding totally what went wrong. you just cant actually and thats ok we should not ruminate on what could be and what we did wrong. a breakup doesnt mean youre less than. Smile because it happened. Its better to have loved and experience loss than to not have loved at all.
Good luck dude, we’re right there with you.
Im at week 6 after finding out about my gf cheating. shit is so much better now, im actualy surprised how much ive bounced back in that small amount of time. HOPE YOU ARE DOING A LITTLE BETTER NOW MRSTONE
God bless you
Completely agree with all of this. I got yoked after I was dumped and now I love training hard. Even though it was the most painful time of my life, I look back on it and feel extreme pride and it's one of the best memories I have.
You're my hero. Will go to gym tomorrow and cry while doing leg press
“This too shall pass” 🙏
Reading comments on these kinds of videos is really healing. Damn near all of us experience heartbreak and just feel completely lost afterwards. My gf and I broke up today and not gonna lie, I’m crying while typing this. Fellas if you’re reading this and you think it’s “unmanly” to cry, let those fucking emotions out.
Edit: I don’t know how to deal with step 4 on my current breakup. I did it on my last but this time is different. I see her at work and we share the same friend group which hangs out at least once a month… We ended things mutually but I really don’t know how this is going to work
Same bro I don't know how? I ended the relationship with her but the problem is we are working on same internship together as a team and we meet every week. But getting over in such a way is not possible for me. It just hits me back again. Plz share your experience if u get over it
Just violently sobbed for two hours. I feel better.
Drove the car at 80mph at 6 am and yelled my eyes out, does help doesn’t it
Needed this in my teens and early 20s. Lost a coworker and friend in 2011 because her husband shot her, then himself because she wanted a divorce. We got to LEARN about our emotions or be controlled by them.
Oh my this is horrible. I'm so sorry for your loss, may she rest in peace ❤
Step 2 advice is so solid. I tried to be friends with my ex for 3 years and we finally just cut ties. We dated for 2 years and we lived together as roommates for a year and a half after. I def held out hope we would get back together even though I dated others. Once he said he wanted to focus on himself but he still wanted to be friends. I had to be honest with myself that I knew I wanted more. So I made the decision to cut ties all together. Deleted all pics, text and his number. It’s not easy but it’s def the best thing you can do. I’m only 5 days out of the separation but I have accepted and began the process of letting go with love and appreciation.
Dude I freaking love this. Thank you so much. This is a physical plan to get over her. It's not just no contact. No contact is all I find. You are the first to set a physical plan and path up for me. I can't thank you enough.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my 4 year relationship. My beloved partner chose to depart, leaving me with an unyielding ache. Despite my relentless efforts to reconcile, I find myself grappling with frustration and an inability to envision a future without him. Despite attempts to purge him from my mind, I remain haunted by his absence, feeling compelled to express my longing here.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Akunna, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father akunna, he has great powers, he can help you.
I appreciate you providing this important information; I've just checked Father Akunna online, and wow, he's really genuine. Thank you so much again ❤
Going back to your ex is like taking a shower and putting dirty underwear on after
Why is that what if it is right person wrong time?
@@Jaden.Morris if you have to ask, you’ll never know, excellent question friend.
I think this applies to some situations but not all. No one should go back to an abuser but sometimes life is more complicated sometimes a breakup happens for a benign reason like an unexpected move or something.
@@AmbiguousGxrlzCluster well said friend
amazing video . Due to previous separations i’ve learned the value of consistently working out , built an investment portfolio, learned a ton about attachment theory and communication. while it was hard at first it really put me in a great trajectory for the future
Thank you for this. Makes me feel better that I’m not alone going through this. Still hurting, but I’m still alive. Let’s get it ppl ✊🏽
Your personal anecdotes are as insightful as your advice, Thanks Good Buddy
All great advice. Although, who would freaking let someone like you go!? Most definitely their loss. Bet they’re kicking themselves in the butt now.
I felt better after reading all the comments. Thank you all for sharing your experience.
1st week after our breakup, fuck this feeling man! I feel awful. It hurts a lot. Really really hurts. I wish someday I could back to this video, and say I'm strong.😢
How are you now?
How are you feeling now? Please give me some inspiration 😂
We need to know!
Whatever you do dont go drinking or try to get in a rebound. Telling u from experience
I think that erasing their digital footprint on all your devices is more effective than just blocking or unfollowing them. Mute their posts, stop checking their social media, delete chats, delete pictures… if you’re like me and you’d use these to get a fix or get triggered by them, erase their digital footprint on all your devices. Otherwise, you’re prolonging the healing process. I still can’t bring myself to unfollow or block though because it feels too drastic compared to how civilly the break up went.
Block them & run while you can
Ignoring them is 10x more efficient than blocking. It tells the other person you’ve moved on in peace… IMO🤷🏿♂️
You've got to unfollow. Doesn't matter if you broke up civilly. You're doing it for yourself, for your personal growth. You're putting yourself first, not the memory of the relationship. I think that sends an even better message than if you were to follow them, not that sending a message should be why you do this.
@@MArca-hj3xvcouldn’t agree more, it’s faster to get over someone that way. Although it is fuckin TOUGH
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
It's hard to say goodbye to someone you love; I experienced this when my 12-year relationship ended. However, I couldn't just let him go; instead, I tried everything to win him back. Eventually, I turned to a spiritual counsellor for assistance, and he was able to help me win him back.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
Wife of 4 years...
Just told me she was leaving Sunday morning and has not spoken a single word to me since. Feel like I'm a ghost in my own home and I have to see her morning, noon and night. She made it even worse last night because when I climbed into bed she got up and went and slept on the couch. It's like death by a thousand cuts because I have to watch her packing her things, move, etc. It's going to take months. There is no ripping the band aid off and just deleting photos and phone numbers, etc. This has been absolutely unbearable.
UPDATE - We sought couples therapy and I thought we had gotten past her issues. Her biggest one was that she claims I always made my daughters my priority vs her. We each have 2 kids from our priors. Well, we woke up on Christmas morning in a great mood. Around noon I told her my oldest daughter was coming over for Xmas and spending the night. Apparently I forgot to ask and discuss it with her. She completely flipped...started screaming at me, cussing at me and told me it was over. Stormed out of the house as the kids were about to open presents and that was it. She didn't come back until late Christmas night. Presents are still under the tree. She told me she'd be out in 6 weeks and moved into another bedroom. Hasn't spoken a single word to me since. I just don't know what to do. This is insanity. Who flips out because one of the children comes over on Christmas?!?! I would never expect her to ask me if one of her sons can come over.
Have you got better man?
@@Lils3m Thank you for asking. Oddly, things have gotten better over the last several weeks. I swear that some days I'm not sure she doesn't have a personality disorder. She goes to bed Dr Jekyll and wakes up Mr Hyde. Lately, we've gotten along well, but I'm just holding my breath for the next blow up. If this one does not work out I've promised myself that I'm going to remain single for a very long time. I'm done with it. It's just not worth it. After all, the bible says that it's better to be alone than with a quarrelsome wife. 100% true. How are you?
@@ctgeorgia Glad to hear that it has gotten better. But it sounds like it must be extremely though to be in your situation... I agree that it is definitely better to be alone than with somebody that slowly sucks the life out of you. Of course in all relationships there will be problems, but the - let's call it - effort/reward ratio should be reasonable one for both parties, and no one should sacrifice too many pieces of themselves to keep something going.
I don't know if you're both open to that, but has she considered therapy? It sounds like it might be a good step into diving into the root of the problem.
When it comes to myself it's been tough few months for me.
I'm 26 and I've been dating someone that is 7 years older and I think that the age-gap in our case makes too much difference for me (for many different reasons) to keep this "relationship" going. It seems that it would be the best for me to let this go, but I just can't bring myself to do it due to some feelings that I feel for her. But I think I'm just delaying the inevitable
@@ctgeorgia hope you are doing better man
@wichiwachigide2451 Day by day...thank you
hey just wanted to say thank you so much for this. almost a month into the worst heartbreak of my life and it hasnt been getting any better and this video helped cut the edge off so thank you :)
The part where you mentioned the breakup is a breakthrough really resonated with me.
the universe always provides. Currently heart broken, hadn't been on your channel In a little.. and what do you know. A video just for me. Thanks man, I appreciate you
Bro I’m goin through it rn, I wanna go back and try to fix things and break no contact but I’m just trying to fix myself first. Shits tuff fr
you got this bro 🤝 focus on building yourself first then eventually you'll be in a better place
Appreciate you bro ! 🙏
Heard you man I know I’m a better man now and I want to show that but I still got a lot of work
How are u doing now Bro ?
I am now in that position...3 weeks no contact and I miss her God so much
It feels reaally disappointing because I thought she was the one, and it just feels like she doesn't like me as much as I do. It hurt my self esteem and respect especially because i was selfless in the relationship. Thanks for the advice here, it makes me feel less alone that others are struggling with the same thing. It will get better.
Such a pragmatic guide, Clark. One of the most useful videos on the topic
I am going through a breakup currently. This stopped my crying and yelling in angush. Thank you for this.
Is it still hard after the month? Week ago, I found out that my gf is cheating on me. It's hard.
I'm on week 2 of an official breakup and the hardest part is knowing I contributed most to the breakup and physically she was the ideal partner. I'm trying to focus on what she didn't do well, and what she didn't have in hopes I can manifest the total package. I keep subconsciously comparing other girls to her appearance and it's keeping me miserable. This video helped a lot but this 11 weeks is gonna be tough.
What a great video! Thank you! I’m 61 years old and been dating for about 18 years. You think I’d know better lesson learned once again.!
Hey mate i have got your video on repeat and i am taking everything on board geading tot he store to get that protible hard drive for the photos man this feeling is so hard. so much commitment and energy down the drain and now i feel so numb, broken and tired. I wanna cry but for some reason a tear wont leave my eyes yet i feel the tears are right there.
I just ended things with my boyfriend of four months, doesn’t sound too serious but we’ve been on and off for a few years now and this one’s permanent. I can’t really feel any sadness or anything and it worries me, so to see you say you were in the same situation brings me hope that I can feel the emotions I’m suppressing and eventually grow stronger and heal
Third day after a breakup and now all i can feel is sadness, I'm worried, I'm scared, my body feels so heavy, hot and weak, I feel like I'm going to die, i couldn't sleep last night, my face hurts from crying. 😢
Same : he broke up on Thursday: i m on sleep pills but slept so less. Cant cry bcs no tears .my neck hurts:its burning all dayyy.
He just broke up with me a little over an hour ago. I feel the same way. But ultimately there are more pleasures in life than just being in relationships, or with that person. Cherish the time you have on your own. You are the only person who can make yourself feel whole. You're still alive, in one piece, and you will be when you heal from this.
how are you now brother ?
I'm going through a breakup right now, and I wasn't sure what to do. After googling and looking around online, you have me good direction. Thank you for the help and for giving me the first step to healing. ❤
Same here just today
Been broken up since 6July24 and been going CRAZY... Thank you for this bro. I really, really needed this. Peace.
3rd July here..
Same same
June 4th here. It sucks.
@@cowboynohorsesame
Same July 9th I REALLY knew… how you all holding up?
I keep searching for her face and body when I look for other women to be involved with. The 11 week rule helped a lot because it put a barometer on the amount of time it could take to get over this. Trying to imagine her as not existing anymore is a big help but the delusion of it makes it hard. Never had a break up this bad, I'm just trying to use it as a teaching moment. I'm seeing what I could improve on as a person and what I can use as motivation going into my next relationship. If we didn't break up the way we did I don't think I would've seen my biggest flaw, but this shit is hard to get over. I didn't realize how great she was until I knew I couldn't go back and social media let me see things that made it hurt more.
I broke up with him last week, and I still regret it. I had been bouncing the idea of breaking up with him in my mind for months because I wasn't getting the relationship I needed, but ultimately I stayed because I loved him. Every day I wished he was different: like that man I knew when we first started the relationship. But stress and life took a toll on us, and led me to cutting the cord. It was my first relationship. Nothing had ever prepared me for the absolute obliteration, even as the person who initiated the break up. Send help. :'(
I commend you on your courage and generosity. The fact that you didn't rush into breaking up with him but listened to your love for a while speaks volumes to me. I did the same, I thoroughly loved the woman, but I was beginning to pay the price of her lack of self-awareness and inability to process her feelings. I thank you for putting it so simply: you weren't getting the relationship you needed; neither was I, even if I liked many things about her. It was killing me. I hope you will find a person that truly deserves you and that so will I. For the moment, let yourself be
the trash can analogy is so incredibly simple it’s perfect
3:44 "Did you sit there and judge yourself for getting sick."
Me: yes actually, every time. *laughs in c-ptsd*
Same 😁
lol glad I'm not the only one
It’s too real 😭
As much as it hurts still, it’s good to know I’m “doing everything right” in the grieving period 💝
I just had a break up and I accepted he wanted to end our relationship. I just want to stop missing him.
Me Too! It's so hard.
Me too
I think the worst part is that I have to accept that the breakup was equally my fault as hers. Which hurts so much because I feel like I failed her and myself.
It would be so much easier if I could just hate her and be angry and just whatever but I can't and I have no idea how much more tears I have left
That 11-week rule is wild I wish I heard that 4 years ago now it's a different girl but shit would have saved me so much damn heartache back then and these past couple of weeks lmao
Great GREAT video. I am going through a breakup and I feel like I just went through every stage emotionally because of your presentation. Thank you
Wish I could control time... To rewind and go back, change my actions and behaviors to prevent this pain Im feeling now. To fast forward and skip to a time in the future when this pain has gone away.
Great advice. I was in the ‘numb out’ phase and it was brutal to my soul and poor liver 😣 Surviving that dark night of the soul was a blessing. I couldn’t be who I am now in that past relationship. I hope people can find some relief 🌟
hell yeah ive been using the fire, loosing weight, playing Brazillian drums, and writing poetry
Stumbled on this video and have never seen your stuff before. All excellent advice but I really want to commend you for providing honest and humble advice. So tired of seeing other influencers push toxic advice shrouded in some BS masculine agenda
As a dude. It’s okay to feel sad and hurt because you miss a girl that you loved. And depending on the situation, your ex may not deserve to be viewed as some worthless commodity.
You don’t need to demonize your ex to move on but you do need to move on and the advice here is a healthy way to start.
Phase II is what I call the 90 day no contact period. It’s needed to disengage your emotions and break the feelings of connection. You don’t see, hear, or engage with them in any form. It helps the healing process and forces you to focus on yourself.
What if they study in your own CLG and you have to study with them for 2-3 years?
The reason people obsess with how their ex is doing is not necessarily because you still love them and want them back, in fact often times you know you want something/someone different...The real reason is you have control issues. Once you understand it's not love that keeps you thinking of that ex, you should and will start moving on. Give it a few months and if you can, make new friends and connections or reach out to close existing ones..New interactions will become more important than old ones by pure recency bias. Your heart and mind will instinctively say, ENOUGH! when the time is right and you will come out on the other side hopefully having learned how you can be a better partner when the next person comes along.
We've been dating for two years and turned out that he was seeing someone else for almost half a year. It hurt so bad that i cried every minute, hadn't eaten anything until now, and then after our break up, he promised me that he would change himself for me, and after a few days, he said that he would go to the girl he cheated on me with. I feel like dying because he broke my heart again. I feel so stupid for not wanting him to go after all he did because i really love him, and now that it is all over, i don't know how to help myself forget him.
Time. And no contact. Resist every urge to check their socials, visit the places you know they’ll be at. Just don’t.
Venting, friends can only take so much a counselled or therapist helps at this stage.
Just take each day step by step. The pain will fade in time, trust in yourself to get through this!
Healing from a breakup can be tough, but know you're not alone. I'm on this journey too, and it's okay to feel the pain. But remember, you deserve to heal, grow, and find happiness again.
But here's the thing: you deserve to heal, to grow, and to find happiness again. It's time to prioritize your own heart, to protect yourself from the what-ifs, and to focus on the incredible person you are.
Remember, moving on doesn't mean erasing the memories or the love you shared. It means acknowledging the past, learning from it, and embracing the present with an open heart.
Keep moving forward, even when it feels like the smallest step.
Let's prioritize our own hearts, protect ourselves, and focus on the incredible people we are. We got this, and we're in this together!
Everyone reading this , believe in yourself and never forget to focus on you and your family . relationships come and go & until you find your true love. Everyone else before was just a place holder and a learning moment . You will be just fine I promise 😉. Your story isn’t done .
Extremely good video thank you a lot, you hit every nail on the head make part 2 plz
this video actually made me feel better. thanks!
idk why these creators are not talking about Divine Goddess Appeal by Lentlish, you can literally attract your ex back after reading that forbidden knowledge
I’ve read it and my ex texted me literally 6 days later. Amazing book ✨
@emilie33333 Where does one acquire this text?
BOT ALERT BOT ALERT
Having kids changes everything, make version for people with kids
No contact is the most painful method to get over. I have done both. Spending my time after break up with contact and without contact.
After my divorce I stayed on contact with my ex wife and I got over her pretty easily. I saw her flaws and bad attitude every day and my desire towards her died out soon. She was just an average woman for me I did not want back.
With my lovely gf who dumped me out of the blue without any serious reason I started the no contact. And it is damn terrible. I think about her damn every day. I miss her more and more. I idealize her. I can not get over her at all.
After the last break up and during the no contact I am actually the human wreckage. I hide this and I make brave face but I am destroyed inside.
how are you doing now?
@@mitrapoetry4163 still thinking of her every day. I do my own things, develop myself etc but it does help only a little.
Really like the energy on this. Definitely helped and provide a more positive outlook. Thanks!
Thank you for keeping this gender ambiguous and accessible to women and queer people ❤
This video is a blessing in disguise. Thank you Clark 👏🏽
I broke up with my lady friend a year and a half ago. I guess I am going through dumpers’s remorse. Three months after we broke up, she met somebody and was dating. I think now she has a friend with benefits. I am still going through Sadness. Trying to get out of the slump. I can’t stop thinking about her.
Great video! Best i’ve seen on the internet! Thanks!
Thank you Clark for sharing this video. You have put a lot of time, energy and effort in this. This will help a lot of people. You are amazing! Thank you for being You!! 😺
Thank you for this. Betrayal blindside of is hurtful. Thank you for this video.
to a much lesser degree you also have to deal with electronic ghosts when people are not metaphorically but actually dead to you. I had to deal with stuff like that after my mother died a few years ago. removing her number from my contacts archiving message threads removing buy gifts reminders from my google calendar etc. obviously this is not someone I am trying to forget but cutting down on the little electric jabs that she isn't here anymore helps a little with the grieving.
Wow. I have never thought about this. I’m sorry for your loss 🙏
My guy From Tomorrowland. Keep up the good work bro.
This was all exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
I was in such disbelief in the beginning I was numb by day 4 I literally cried for an hour and a half until my eyes were swollen. My tears came out of nowhere and I allowed myself to feel into it and surprisingly I felt a little better afterwards. I’m still in pain though.
Same with me sis , how to overcome this it's really hurting like hell
Seriously this is great advice. Thank you.
7:27 that is so funny though. thanks for your very useful advice!!
Dam young man, you are a bright boy. Thanks from a hurting old guy! All common sense, which sometime we sometimes need a little reminding. The last one doesn't work in my case, because it is just a list of all the qualities that I loved and enjoyed the last four years. Just getting dumped didn't see or expect.
This is the most realistic one I've watched tbh. One foot in one foot out really resonates with me as I'm still doing it now lol
Thanks Clark, after being confused for a week, i finally feel good after watching this video
This dude teaching this old guy...nice & thanks.
The example with the trash is awesome
"ONCE YOU BECOME A PICKLE, YOU CAN NEVER GO BACK TO BEING A CUCUMBER." I haven't laughed at something so silly yet wisely true like that for a while now, thanks! 😊
I'm currently going through one and boy it is tough, I do not know how to process it clearly. I wanted to fix my flaws and be with her again but it's too late. I don't want this relationship to end...
I agree with everything but…deal with an ex-wife after 23 years of marriage and two children in common. I ‘ll survive surely but it will be not easy to struggle. Cheers from Switzerland!
You are a truthful, blessing of a messenger !! Salute !! 💯 👍
🙏🙏🙏
There's some good stuff here, but be careful, because not everyone who throws themselves into a new venture gets positive results. If you hit the gym and get jacked, only to not be able to attract a new girl, or dedicate yourself to a new business, only to have it go nowhere, it can actually make you feel worse about yourself because you did what you were supposed to do and put in the time, but didn't get the results.
It's like if you decide to go out to get laid on a Friday night to suppress the pain, but end up going home alone, and it's your 12th time in a row striking out. What started as a way to make yourself feel better and move on backfired, and now you feel worse than you did before.
Be even MORE careful with the exercise at the end of imagining your perfect partner. Because while some people might do so and actually manage to attract them into their lives, if you do that, then go on to meet many girls who fulfill that vision, only to have none of them have any interest in you, it hurts. A lot.
1:50 - criticizing 'pretend they don't exist' because it means you didn't care / you're suppressing emotions
7:05 - forget that they even exist
?????
After you felt what you needed to feel and acknowledge your loss, then you need to place yourself in a position to forget, that is, avoid contact with the person as if they did not exist, because they are nor part of your life anymore and the sooner that’s embraced the sooner healing will complete its course. That is what he meant :)
What helped me was... after he discarded me the second time so cold and without remorse.. a friend told him that she thinks i would do something bad to myself... he texted back "lol, im high and i dont wanna bother with it"... after a 2.5yrs relationship and he moved on asap... this put me instant in the "fuck you" phase... all of my "but he is my pookie" feelings went to rage...
using this rage to hit the gym, make music, new tattoos etc etc ...
the only thing im crying over is that i was so dumb to trust him and looking over all the red flags..
I was good then had a dream, and now I relapsed.😢
Keep going, I'm in pain, so much, I just want a particular person to make it better. They won't do it
those dreams really set you back right.. I know them really well too.
I get them all the time. Always makes you feel like it's a sign not to let go. Messes with your head for sure
this keeps happening to me too. dreams are so hard
Love your videos, as always you're incredibly wise and you know how to speak in an amazing engaging manner. And it is cute how when you will share a personal story you ask if it's ok with us. Thanks for sharing all your knowledge, stay safe
I ran from my last relationship because i couldnt deal with the emotions. almost 2 yrs later now my ex is seeing someone else and now im extremely depressed and my anxiety is almost unmanageable
Thank you for this video, it was the advice and warm hearted-ness I needed
I've come to realized that walking away can be tough but staying in the toxic situation can be tougher..
Thank you for your wise message! ❤
Im liking the video because you said be careful on what you put on the list, then you said kidding... humor, fun, and I learned... so simple 🥰
If I were in my 20s, this break up wouldn’t have hurt so much, but now at 32 out of a 6 year relationship. It feels like I’m one of the those left over singles. I’ll die alone 💔
I am so sorry you are going through this 🤗
I am also at an older age and both my siblings got engaged when my relationship went to shit (we officially broke up yesterday). I feel like it's too late for me, and I feel I am somehow broken or not good enough for people to choose. But I know this is my pain telling me lies, and in actuality being in your early 30s is actually young 😊
Wishing you strength 💪
@@roxanapop1557 you too. I hope you find strength during these difficult times,
Im 31 and just broke up too.
Can relate.
But i also remember a family friend who dated and got married in her 50s...
Although in my case i guess its unlikely since i dont meet enough people
My relationship was becoming toxic when it ended. I still love the woman, but I know I'll never be a cucumber again. It was important to me for things to end in a civilized way, but that didn't make it any easier. I'm getting the USB key tomorrow. I've cried all the tears I had to cry and it's taken me a month to get to the point where I'm finally ready to let her go. I'm glad I've had this person in my life because she made me fall in love for the first time in many, many years. I wish her well and I hope she finds peace.