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6 reasons why guys give a minimal effort. When guys pull away.
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- Опубліковано 16 сер 2024
- Watch Part 1 here: • 5 reasons why guys giv...
Whats good? This is minimal effort guy part two.
Hey Ladies this is part two of the minimal effort video. If you haven’t seen the first one the link is in the description. The first list focused more on the reasons you have some influence or control over. This list deals with things you may not have the power to change. More about his reasons or intention.
1. He’s lazy and a bad partner
Some guys go through their whole lives half assing everything. They half ass as through through school, they half ass at work. They half ass as family members. They half ass their goals. Many even half ass their relationships. Some men are just lazy physically but their are a great many who are lazy emotionally. And that can can very toxic for a relationship new or old. Some men just don’t have any fight in them to work for anything. Others are so selfish that they can’t be bothered to try in an effort to please or serve someone else. Still others refuse to manage or nurture anyones needs or emotions outside of their own. If a man’s giving you minimal effort because of this reason it doesn’t take long to identify. Just look at the rest of his life. He was Probably a straight c student when he was younger. Even in gym class. His accomplishments are likely limited. He probably doesn’t have much going on. He’s probably not particularly close with anyone who requires very much of him. And the people he is close with are the people who look out for him. Not the other way around. So many women I’ve talked to are so lonely that they’ve picked up stragglers who don’t got shit, and don’t accomplish shit, because they don’t do shit. And somehow they wonder why these men aren’t working harder to impress them or pursue them more fervently. It’s not you it’s him. Everywhere he goes he’s useless. Don’t get tied to him. If he’s dull and lazy in the beginning what else is their to investigate. Don’t waste your time. You’ll just resent him in the long run for not being more.
2. He’s used to being mothered
Much like the other reason except he also needs to be led by his woman. Being yelled at or told what to do motivates him more than instinctual masculinity. A lot of these guys give a minimal effort because they lack drive or motivation. They haven’t witnessed healthy relationships with women who were not in charge of them. They need to be told what to do and until they are they will sit idly. These men are weak. Avoid them at all costs. He needs a manager not a girlfriend.
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If you appreciate my videos share them😉
I will share thank you so much.
Your channel is very helpful😍 will share.
Will do. I found your no B.S. approach, to be exactly what so many of us need. Keep on keeping it real.✌️❤️
Done
Kev Hick Talks Guys with Girls.
Match his vibration.
If he is low effort.
You give him low effort.
He text.
You text.
He discards, you discard.
BOOP.
Exactly
What’s the point of that? Could just walk away
Meh, if he is low effort I'm done.
💯‼️😢
I use to be afraid to walk away, because I felt like I was missing out on some thing, but what I had to realize is, they are missing out on me. It took hard lesson for me to get to where I am mentally about guys.
Rashanda Green I’m trying to walk away but it’s so hard. Help me God 🙏🏾
@@DominiqueSpeaks Speaking from experience if you feel it in your spirit then it must be done. I hung on for years and in the end I suffered. Cause guess what while I was holding on to him he was holding on to her tight. It don't matter if they rich or poor cute or ugly educated or not. A dog is a dog and in the day of proud sidechicks they feel lie they have many options.
@@DominiqueSpeaks Will power is everything,. Finding the courage to do something so brave can be hard,. Remember you are the prize, and whatever you are leaving behind will lose you.. Sometimes we as women, need to get to the point of no return.. With it being the last straw.
Minding my own Business Thank you so much ❤️
Rashanda Green Thank you so much Queen ❤️
When guys give minimal effort. I starve them off my energy completely. I used to be the woman that would stick around hoping that he will change and realize my worth but not anymore. If a man isn’t putting in any real effort in getting to know me, I stop texting, delete them off my social media, ect. They always seem want to come back or pursue me more when I do, but then it’s too late. I don’t have time for little boys who play games or don’t know what they want
That’s literally it sis! PREACH IT!
It's good you were able to move past old ways. Us women have a bad habit of hanging on too long!
BY&C Dating Stories and Dating Advice it took a lot of self realization
Prom Queen Yeah I definitely know! It takes continuous self-realization!
That's right starve a cold feed a fever..
Ghost mode suckafree hands up..
No returning
Some women are broken due to having narcissistic parents. That is why they fall prey to players. Those women need to reprogram thier mind patterns.
Spot on.
I’ve been going to hypnotherapy for the last year and it’s really helped
Karenmarie Pomba Gira Yaaaassss!!!
Thissssss💯
Exactly ....I am one such person! Very toxic mother...abusive father!
Rather walk and cry a week and move on....vs. tolerating/forcing a doomed relationship...be wise and aware ladies..ignore the heart and vagina....listen to your spirit, gut, and mind ☺
Wow....ok
I couldn't agree more
Good info. Starve the vjay, matter fact go away. I'm ready to date with my mind, not my heart.
Well said!!! 👏👏👏 😎
Love it!😂🤣😅
Minimal effort is unacceptable, I deserve better than that. 💯
You worth it!
You dont deserve anything
“Measure his interest by effort!”
Love the different perspectives you offer.
One of the biggest lesson I've learned regarding relationships is to watch for another person's output toward you (not just romantic relationships, but also in friendships). If you do not see that the person you are dealing with is investing in you in the manner that feels fulfilling, match the same output they give you. They don't seem interested enough or don't seem to be putting an effort to develop a meaning relationship? You should do the same. Time is valuable, so put it toward people and circumstances that create true value in your life. Do not try to squeeze water out of a rock. It is futile and not worth the effort.
😘
The saddest thing is, my sister is like this and for me it’s difficult to realize she will not change. I invest in our relationship and i am always disappointed.
@@mycoffeisgood8562 I am so sorry to hear that someone you love so much isn't willing to meet you in the same space of love you have for her. You are right, it is sad. Some people have been known to change , so there is always hope that your sister will see her own actions and change to become better at maintaining a connection with you. But for now, keep blessing her at a distance, and stop putting yourself out there for more disappointment. Creating the same distance your sister has towards you will be difficult for a while, but eventually, you will come to accept it and move on. I do hope your Sis comes around.
mycoffeisgood you will have better peace when you create a healthy boundary for your sister relationship. Enjoy, cherish, and really be in the moments when you actually do spend time with her. Out of sight out of mind. That way when she's not showing you what you need in the relationship you can recall the good times and not put yourself out.
Definitely! When a man stops pursuing you there is trouble around the corner. Well actually it is already there!
Some guys will just deal with you until they find someone more interesting that comes along. Never forget, men are avoiding loneliness too. Effort should be the thing you use to measure a guy's interest. Not sex & certainly not your hopes & feelings.
the new things is always the more interesting one, that´s an ending cicle for them
Kev seems pissed off in this video, us ladies never learn 😂🤷♀️
I’m not😂
Maybe he is just passionate! Lol
Lmfaoooo!!
Simone Bell that's funny. He don't bother me lwt him be pissed. Kmt
Some of us are so hard headed but I'm learning
So glad I saw this video. I walked away from a guy that I still had feelings for because even though we were physically attracted to each other, I wanted to know more about him. I was interested in him as a person. I wanted to video chat and talk over the phone, all he wanted to do was text, and he would always make an excuse of why he couldn't. So since he was giving me that type of energy, I sent him a text that stated why I was ending things. After that big text, he started to put in the effort that I had seen in the beginning of our relationship. But since I had already made up my mind, I had to steer clear. It hurt me, but I truly believe that if someone wants to be with you, they will make time for you and would want to talk and connect with you every chance they could get!
Taters I think you telling him what you expected was just what needed to happen. Him showing you effort I think is a good thing. I’m more concerned with those who you tell your expectations and they do nothing or very little to meet you in the middle. Did you tell him these feelings before the long text ? Or did you find leaving the relationship made him wake up and it was just too late ?
Agreed. And you wouldn't have to chase him to do so either.
@@crownedmelaninqueen honestly the guy that I was in the talking phase prior to him I gave him that many chances, but by the time I made it to the new guy I just had no patience. Even though he started trying again and I really did have strong feelings for him, but I truly felt like if he wanted to me he would still be trying even now. I feel that if a man really feels like your the love of his life or can't be without you then nothing will get in his way of being with you. I date with a purpose I don't date just to date and get a feel for different personalities! So the moment he started becoming "Mr. Minimal effort" I was just intolerant of the BS. Unfortunately I'm still getting over it 8 months later
Taters Thank you for getting back to me. I understand exactly where you are coming from , you’ve answered questions for me as to if I made some good decisions. You’ve helped to understand saying something about your feelings a few times with no real effort means he just doesn’t really care as much as I wanted him to. I’m recovering from a divorce I didn’t want, but you confirmed so much for me!
Thank you so much 🙏🏾 with you and for me for mature guys who truly show interest, with a love 💕for God truly and it shows in his character ! 😊
@@crownedmelaninqueen yes. Good luck in your healing. I'm learning more and more that sometimes it takes time for the heart to heal and I wasn't even married to this man but I had deep feelings for him and only wanted to go deeper. When I was being rejected in that way I knew I could not stay any longer for constant rejection of what was needed to maintain a relationship with me. I have seen men go so hard for a women that they were truly in love with and they put everything they had in to her. I believe that us women deserve that amount of reciprocity because without a shadow of a doubt and women will do for a man that does for her and takes care of her. Blessing to you and your healing💕
I meet a lot of minimal effort men I just delete their number and forget their calls. They talk but don't walk the walk. Yes I have no interest at all. Thank you for this message.
And this is exactly why I’m single. Let’s start with how they can’t even have a basic, decent conversation, via text at that? 😩 On the phone is even worst... 🤦🏾♀️
I just told my friend we can’t keep playing victim and saying men ain’t shit .. when we allow it !’ As women we have to take full responsibilities of our decisions point blank period.. because no one is forcing you to stay you have a choice 🤷🏾♀️This was very much needed straight to point type of video 🙌🏾
Very true!
My girlfriend just reminded me of this when we spoke today, which is day 1 after a breakup. When we move out of victim-mode, we're empowered to make better choices.
👏🏾
👏💯 yes, ty for that reminder!!!
I loved this comment..you have to look out for yourself, because nobody else will!)😎😊
What I like about Kev over derrick jaxn, is Kev IS HONEST! He's not blaming guys for everything and telling women they did nothing wrong to get viewers like Derrick. He puts us onto game, while holding us accountable. Derrick is like a make feminist, the woman is never wrong. Kev is the big brother I wish I had, he looks out for me but let's me know when I mess up. Thank you Kev.
Wow. My exact thoughts🤔💯
You are so right. Derrick rubs me the wrong way. Kev is more honest and tells us when we mess up
Derrick acts and preaches feminism but acts like a player. At least Kev is in a healthy relationship.
@@veeoby3364 I stop following Derrick. He seems fake like he doesn't even believe everything he says.
@@z.deutch1334 is thought Derrick was married as well
This is a great video it's best to focus on yourself and don't get emotionally attached right away let them get attached
Right...women get attached too soon in a lot of cases.
bigjayking24 I think in general it’s any man. It can be a good man. A lot of women get attached too soon to everyone they meet, good or bad.
Well said !
phyllis dawkins Well no it’s about being patient and not putting your eggs in 1 basket until you have a good reason to.
How do you not get attached?
I met someone whom did minimum so I hit him wit the Congratulations 🎈🎊🍾🎉 you officially ran me away✌🏽!
I’m too old for games!
yesssss girl
🤣
Efforts as a measuring stick for interest. That was so good.
Husband: You're changing. Who have you been listening to?
Me: Kev!!! 😂
😂
I am sending this to 3 or 4 girls RIGHT NOW! 🙄🙄
It's definitely worth sharing!
The deep sigh at the end was classic
Lol!!!
*Number 5* *No Man Who Hasn't Given You Consistent Effort, Should Be Sweating On Top Of You If Your Goal Is A Relationship* 💜😆😆😆😆😆 Sweating You Know....Sweatingggggg😃😃😃😃! Yes Iyah....School Dem Kev!
😊😂😂😂. Exactly...
🇯🇲🇯🇲🇯🇲
Lol
Yes the last two should hit home for a lot of people!
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
He is not inlove that’s it! When a guy is in love it will naturally show up in his actions we women will feel it.
Do men actually tell these guys to get themselves together? Friends lift you up. I hope somebody lets them know
Pink Cashmere I’m doing a channel/podcast on building strong men. We will address how men should treat women among other things.
You can take a horse to water don't mean he will drink it dose not mean he will lesson
No. Friends rarely look out on those topics when it comes to men, as I’ve observed.
Probably not in most cases. Most people hang out with people who are like them. Sometimes men have a good friend that tries to get them to do better, but I imagine it is rare!
@Elle D THANK YOU!!🔥🔥🔥👏👏👏
"Dont linger in proximity!" That's a word!
@kshiftkometh what's 'PUA' ?
"He doesn't like you as much as you think" GOOD POINT.
I dated a guy that I cought cheating on me and I asked him why I thought everything was going good I thought we were happy together? And he told me.. yea you might have felt that way but I didn't. And that hurt me deep in my heart. Knowing that you can love someone more then they love you. A message to be careful.
I never skip your ads, just so that you can get your coin
Been watching you for a while 👌🏾❤️ Much love from a South African fan.
You’re the real MVP 🏆 . Thank you so much! That’s support🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yes!! never skip ads on this channel!!
Same! I just be reading the comments as the ad is playing... win-win situation! His advice is worth so much more though. 😩🙌
Omg girl.. where in s.a are you from?
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! 🗣 let ‘em know, Kev! 💯
Yessss!
Be willing to walk away !!!!
"No man should sway on top of you if he is inconsistent with you . "
- true!
No emotional and intellectual connection, no sexual connection.
For real though! This guy keeps “asking me out” but only to his house. I told him he can meet me in public if he wants to see me!💯
Strategic abandonment. It's so sad that men do this and seems downright sociopathic.
Women do it to. Not for sex but for control. And power.
Lady Bohemia To show you how much time I wasted on a manipulator, I used to think his moments of strategic abandonment were unique to him. That was just his way with all women so that he could build their desire that he would not be able to match.
@@CandaceLeAnne I feel ya. The only silver lining is that we won't be blinded again by these behaviors. Red flags become more obvious, the older and wiser I become.
Same thought went through my head. And people wonder why animals are the best lovers. 🍑😉😂
@@elizabethbutler8641 Why is my lovely dog showing me everyday consistency in showing me love and cute behaviors? And i do the same and show it every day to him and without playing silly negative mindgames. He is allways in love with me and vice versa. O boy, i feel loved by this 4 legged lovelly creature, made by gods grace!!🌹🐾💌
So be accountable and love yourself ladies
Some are also just really awkward or inexperienced in the dating scene. They're literally clueless and cannot pickup on cues or reciprocate and express their feelings.
Refers back to why women shouldnt chase men.
Out of all the male relationship advisers on yt... This guy is THE BEST. He is on point, very understandable and gentle. If your learning to value yourself as the kingdom you possess... And how to interview Kings, he will teach and preach... Love it!! God bless this mans mind and heart. Much love!!!
#1 & #2 On point.
Lazy Lost Cause LOSERS.
Ladies you can't work with ZERO.
Walked away a while ago and I can safely say Im in a better place than I would have been if I had given the best of myself to someone who could care less.
The woman who is standing where I wanted to is learning these things the hard way
Thank you, after 8 years of widowhood a bloke of minimal effort told me he was interested. I woke up after 6 weeks realising he was only interested in filling his time, having he's life made easier whilst the person he actually loved was trying to slingback her ex of 17 years. Yep I was dumb as a bag of rocks and heartbroken that I didn't see it too start with that I was just a fill in. Good thing I woke up
Powerful video. Just realized why my parents toxic relationship worked for them. Without a father or male role model in his life, my dad was used to being mothered and told what to do and responded well to being yelled at as opposed to instinctual masculinity.
The mommy issue really stuck out to me..., like i was told i reminded my ex of his grandmother...well, good thing we're done!
"Strategic Abandonment" .... Wow!
@King A It's a thin line. I never show my entire hand in the beginning. First off, I don't want to scare anyone away, and second I don't feel the need to invite someone in my entire world right away. Gotta keep an element of mystique.😉
@King A I always show interest as long as the other person shows interest in hope's that it can grow or continue to grow into something more. But if I feel they are trying to "Strategically Abandon" me, (especially in the beginning stages) it turns into "Game On!" should I decide to indulge. I am all about reciprocity. If I don't get it, I push all emotion aside with the risk of losing ties with that person to make my point known.
My ex husband and children's father is exactly like this. He is lazy at every part of his life and always has been. He is the type that has to be put on the spot to do a good job or live somewhere secluded to be forced to strive. Honestly... corporate America isn't the place to be for a lot of black males. His mother and father both coddled him his whole life and still do at 43 years old. You can't step in and help him with anything or he will stop trying all together. The one thing he is good at is coaching our kids basketball and flag football teams when he is the only coach. He'll take all of their teams to the championship on his own. He doesn't work, cheated his way through school, and lives back with his parents. His parents keep asking me why won't i take him back. They still don't get it. He's dead weight in a relationship.
Freckles what was it about him that made you want to marry him and have kids? Just asking because my husband is around the same age and I’m kind of seeing a little bit of this now.
@@ShaHov1206 I was only 21 when I met him. I had just moved away from home and he was the 1st single guy that came along that I was sexually and mentally attracted to. I didn't know what traits to look for in a husband. I always wanted to be married with children by 25, so I gave him an ultimatum. This was a big mistake. He completely shut down once we had kids and got married. It took him seeing me with someone else after i told him to get out to want to change. The one other thing that motivated him was his family seeing him as a no good husband & father, because he hates to look bad to others, but it was too late by then. He had drained the life out of me. We haven't been together in 8 years, but I actually get way more respect and attention from him now since he can't have me. Someone once told me that I was blocking him from being a man, because I was wearing the pants in the house. I'm noticing more and more that men are really slow at committing, because they don't know what they want, where us women tend to know exactly what we want and jump ahead of the guy. Life isn't forever and I really wish men would pick up the pace.
What were the red flags you saw early in the relationship? Unfortunately, he was not husband material. His parents did a disservice to him because he wasn't taught how to be a man and take care of a family. You have to chose an alpha male, not a beta. No way should a woman wear the pants in my opinion. He is the King and she's the Queen, both are important and if anything let the man lead.
My ex-husband was the worst too!
@@Giggles50 He was working only part time and living with his parents when I met him and he was 28 then which instantly let me know that he was lazy, but I ignored that and pushed him to work full time. He's very book smart and street smart too, so you have to pay close attention to the guy's lifestyle to figure out if he's a good guy or not. The weird thing is that he is an alpha, but like you said he wasn't raised to be an alpha man. He's truly stuck emotionally at 12 years old. His parents still til this day do everything for him. They even drive him where he needs to go as if he's a dictator. He'll wait to see if a woman is foolish enough to do everything for him like his parents. If I knew any better, back then I would have demanded that he did for himself. Him and his sister are very co-dependent towards their parents. The sister lives at home, too, at 48 yrs old. Never had a relationship and has no kids. They're all narcissists btw and protray to be the Jones. The other red flag that I didn't catch early on is that he hates his mom and there is no affection btwn him and his parents. And I mean none! So Ladies please run from men who don't even hug their mom or say I love because these type of men are emotionally and mentally dangerous. They're love deprived to the fullest. The only way a relationship would work with these type of men is if the woman is heartless like him and knows how to motivate him correctly. He lies alot as well just because he enjoys keeping secrets. To be honest it's hard to spot a narcissist at first, because we actually got along well at first. He approached me. We talked on the phone for over 8 hours the next day and found out our parents grew up in the same neighborhood which actually encouraged him to drop his guard a little bit. We went on 4 dates that same week and spent alot of time together in the first couple of months, but the only affection was sex and cuddling. Everything was ok for the most part until there were problems and children. These are the type of guys who run from problems. They're never taught how to solve problems because their parents did that part for them, so when I had an ectopic pregnancy he did take me to the hospital and then home after surgery, but then he left me for days. Didn't even bring back my pain meds nor call. When my dad died he wanted no part of my sadness. He told me don't come back home crying after the funeral because he didn't want to deal with it. This is how you know if a guy is a narcissist... when you need him the most he runs and we had been together for at least 6 months before any problems occurred. The final straw for me which made me never want to ever take him back was when our oldest son got really sick for 2 years. He completely checked out. He wanted no part of taking care of him. He was dealing with it by fucking other bitches and that's when I told him to get his ass out. And til this day he acts like he doesn't know why I would never take him back. That's how bad his parents coddled him. You'll be drained ladies and feeling all alone even when he's sitting right beside you, so never push for a relationship with a guy who isn't moving.
I was the same. Was dating a guy for 3 months, then noticed a minimal effort in text and meeting up. he started to leave me on read on the weekends, i understand he works a lot but I do to but made the effort. Started getting tired of making that effort so i asked him what was he doing and what was going on, he kept saying he was confused so I walked away. Now this week after 4 weeks of ending the relationship by ignoring him, he decided to send a "Hi, How are things" I'm not his mother....I'm just letting it be, it's too toxic and he needs to know to handle his own shit and emotions.
How I wish this channel was around when I was in my teens and 20s. Would have saved me a lot of drama and pain.
I’m going through this this weekend waisting my damn time M-F texting and calling 24/7 then Friday ask to come over at 10 pm I say NO then Sat I was sleep all day
That hard sigh at the end let me know you really care about giving us the keys to not get shitted on. I legit respect you! Felt like an older brother fed up with me taking shit from men. Much respect Kev!
Well I’m giving minimum effort as well👍🏾 Thank you Next !
The last guy I was talking to,got in his feelings because I told him he could not sleep at my house. I also refused to give him my bus pass. The second conversation he suggested I let move him in. In between jobs, couch surfing, jeez, it's always the ones I like. He was in disbelief that I refused him of what he wanted. That really hurt his ego. I'm tired of being a victim. I'm fine with being single. BTW dude never called me again. I didn't sweat it. Letting go early will prevent a lot of heartache and bs. Thanks for the video k.h I'm learning how to have standards and boundaries.
😂😂😂 He didn't want you sweetheart. He just wanted HELP. Those types of guys are called hobosexuals because they only get involved with women for benefits like a place to stay. I'm glad you saw through that shit and bounced his ass.
Kev, I promise you’re the big brother I never had... good stuff💯
He doesn't like you a much as you think he does. This hits home.
Just got out of a toxic situation. I convinced my self that this man wanted me or really loved me. But my gut told me different. I realized that we didn't even have each others phone number, we chatted, more me, on social media. This man begged to meet me, then after I told him that had some issues at home, he decided we should put meeting on hold. He asked me, not the other way around. In a nutshell, listen to yourself, observe, and be responsible for your own happiness. Dude is blocked and gone.
To many red flags
This helps sooo much. I’m in conversation with a ma but all he does is text… no phone calls, no planning of dates… it’s bare minimum and I’m done.
I’ve come to realize that it’s not me, it’s them. 🤷🏻♀️ lol
Thank you for pointing out our female weakness to mistreatment and the addiction to the highs and lows to stay engage!! We got to stop pulling away from the nice guys. I want to find a way to reprogram myself.
Just. Does. Just. Enough. Which. Is. Nothing.
I broke up with my ex a while ago, but was still so hung up in him that I kept thinking I wasn’t doing enough to keep things going. Now, though, after watching both of your videos, I feel a lot better like I’m ready to move on from this chapter; I’ve definitely got a lot more clarity about both the guy and myself now. Thanks so much for the videos, and keep up the good work.
I can’t believe this video has been up for 3 years and I’m still needing to integrate this information.
But I did it!
I said: “I owe you an apology. I have been resentful and saying things that made you feel like you were not enough when it’s really my fault. I taught you it was ok to treat me as a low priority in your life, I gave you my energy, time and body without you having to work hard for it at all. I’m not available for that anymore. I let go of my standards bc of how I felt about you but I am no longer going to accept low effort. If you want to keep seeing me you’re going to have to take me out on dates, twice a week. Real dates. Dinner, shows, events. Without the expectation of sex. I don’t just want promises I want you to show me consistently that you can put in the effort to treat me the way I deserve.”
Haven’t heard from him. Lmaoooo
Girls, we don't need validation from others. We need to have self-love and self-validation. We need to stop seeking love and happiness from outside of ourselves, and give ourselves the attention and care that we need. If we have self-love instead of seek love from outside of ourselves, we will naturally attract love from others. And when we do, it will not be something that we feel we need. It will be the icing on the cake.
Don’t keep taking crumbs in real life! Kev you 👏🏽 betta 👏🏽 preach 👏🏽!
Lol!!!!
The 6th point! I recently experienced that. I told myself that he had a change of heart and couldn't just tell me. I spoke with him when his efforts changed. He tried to pull the " I've been busy card". I let him know that the energy has to be what is was before or I'm out. He said he understood, he would work on it, and he didn't so I left.
I am also so glad I saw this video. It definitely makes me understand some mistakes I have made in the past especially with men who need "mommy managers". Being a nurse and independent woman means that managing and nurturing people is what I do moment by moment, but it's time to nurse my own heart back to life. I will definitely share this video with my girlfriends.
@Koko Alaska I appreciate you! You nurses do and go through so much in the medical field then on top of that LIFE.. very thick skinned people indeed❣️
As a women who would cook him meals from scratch and dessert, pamper him, do his nails, buy his dog things, do her nails give her baths. I would buy gifts, write poems and have meaningful conversations. I put in the effort. We saw each other once a week. He had no issue going out to see his friends 3 times a week or buy his dog new toys everyday. He never took me out, never did anything for me, never got me flowers or wrote me notes, he eventually said what a waste of gas it was to see me... we lived 20 minutes away. I told him I was done after 1 month, I put in the effort he didn't. Some men use excuses and just want you around so others cant have you. While other men show tf up and prove they want you. I have a bf now who drives an hour and a half to see me 3 days a week, treats me really well, takes me out, surprises me and I do all the things for him I did for the last. I always treat everyone as good as possible. Some step up and some dont so I move on.
I sat back..stayed to myself and just waited to let him reveal himself...love is an action..not a word..
My child’s father 😑. I finally got the strength to leave then found out I was pregnant.
Me too. I was about to go through a divorce and needed help at home one day and called him; because that was what I was used to. He came over and boom! After almost 2yrs of trying, now I'm pregnant.... I cried, but we got back together and tried to keep our marriage and family together. 2 more years after that however we still got a divorce. And dated on and off for a few years even after the divorce. Smh bad idea. Had to swallow the fact that I already knew in my heart that he wasnt for me but I wasn't strong enough and was too afraid to walk away..... We both have finally moved on and are just now really entertaining other people. We have a wonderful connection at times but overall poison for each other at some point. I'm greatful for my son and the lessons learned but I wish I would have been more awake back then and stood stronger in my own self. Still learning how to do that...
You are so spot on.!
He told me who he was and I chose to stay. But at some point I realized that I needed to take accountability for the choices that I was making. Thank you for your videos and your guidance.
I have to acknowledge that I was once in the number five trap of your count but, i came to my senses and checked out, walked away and divorced his ass. I will not allow no man to treat me less, my standards are high and I will be keeping them that way. If he want me he got to do his work, if not keep stepping. PERIOD.
Honey you are too good.. I wish I had seen your videos long back..
Thanks dear
I agree but I also wonder if I would have been so deep in my feelings that I would have been in denial. I was much deeper in the BS then than I am now. To me, timing means so much when it comes to personal journeys. Ive noticed I see things with more clarity now that Im on the back end of my situation.
It's low value men, not all men!!
I started mirroring and if I see no change in minimal time I block and move on. I don't hang around anymore. My time is precious!
Kev, you are right on the money with the first. I just felt my soul leave my body for a second. That is the truth.
Yessss!!!!
Same here. He described #1 so perfectly. I wasted my time with his potential, trying to help him him manifest it and of course it never did 🤦🏾♀️
One way to get a guy to stop hoovering or whatever, like when he likes to blow you off and text later to apologize. Some guys do this all the time, even in the beginning. I'll give them one pass if they do something really f'd up, then when the next "I'm sorry" text comes, I tell him I have all his texts saved and want no further contact, or I will take any new digital evidence to the authorities and tell them I'm being stalked. That gets rid of jerks right quick and they never come back!!!
Well he got all of us together! Lol thanks for the great video. And it's so true, as women we need to hold ourselves accountable to the signs most times that are there!
Facts people ☝🏾 🤣 that infamous sigh at the end lol.
Thanks as always Kevy! And yes it is a hard 💊 to swallow..when maybe his feelings has changed from when you'll first started chatting/engaging with one another. But ladies we have to remain steady and remember OUR STANDARDS! And be willing to walk away🚶🏾♀️ when they aren't being met! It's hard but worth it in the long run!🙆🏾♀️
I just got out of a 5 month relationship with a guy who I thought I'd be with forever. His effort at the beginning was perfect; made me feel attractive and interesting, giving me so much effort, being boyfriend of the year. Then 4 months into it, he pulled back, caused confusion, then acted like my insecurities were 100% the reason he dipped. Turns out? He met someone else and dropped me like a bad habit.
Taking notes - I literally wrote down everything you said in this video!
Preach the truth, Kev Hicks! Another wonderful and informative video. I wish many men would watch these videos as well...
You have saved me. I have the courage to walk away from my sorry boyfriend. It hurts because we been freinds for 29 years and recently decided to be in a relationship. He pursued for 10 years but i turned him down . I set up a fake Instagram account pretending i wanted to meet him. He fell for the bait. Then said he knew it was a joke. Also i contacted his ex She said they are still freinds and she was gonna send him a package. Upon learning i was his girlfriend, she said she was no longer going to send the package. Come to find out he lied and told me he was single whenever we started talking about having a serious relationship. He said they broke up because she cheated. (We are long distance) im down south, he up north ..This time i feel like i did too much and he takes me for granted. He is emotionally unavailable and not doing well in life. I feel like he uses me for money even though he has helped me financially in the past. No job, no money, homeless. Im done.
strategic abandonment/neglect - learned a new form of emotional abuse I've been through :'-(
Kev is that one person who brings back your long lost senses 😂 Thanks bro! Such a big help! 💪🏻
Men who ignore me as opposed to men who adore me. The challenge-- the chase...MAN! This video is hittin' me between the eyes! Damn! Strategic abandonment--experienced that in my last relationship...I'm typing as I'm listening. Lawd! Thank you sir! I'm being convicted, challenged and helped all at once! Also encouraged...not judged. Thanks again. New subscriber and DEFINITELY sharing! 👍
Thank you. I was married for 25 yrs. I'm a widow now so even at my age it's so hard being in the game I need all the help I can get.
Fucking brilliant. I'm a clinical psychologist and Kev is EDUCATING me.
Too late. I am married to such a guy. I found a way to deal with this by focusing on improving myself - physically, emotionally and financially. Very easy to leave, but choosing to stay and let the events unfold naturally.
I'm in the same predicament but will file for divorce next year.
Thank you, soo much .he's blocked..MUCH RESPECT FOR SCHOOLING A OLD HEAD😒😔🤗🤗😘
Kev I swear every time I master one of your topics I meet a guy that disguised himself in another way. This time this one gave me bread crumbs for seven months and I continued to wait. Never slept with him but waited n waited because he was out of town for work or just sooooo busy. Had to delete n block simply because I had no more f’s to give.
Well said. Moving on.
Your good Kev . I'm a 58 yr old woman who has been following you for years. I have learned a lot from you! Keep up the good work!
I wish I knew these things a few years ago. Thank you for the info. Will help next relationship.
I think the same thing every time I watch his videos! So many wasted years!
You are so right.. I dont do dusties.. but my ex went to John Hopkins and a teacher.. i noticed i look at his house and car.. it told me a lot he had the nerve to dump me.. he did me a solid!!
This is the freaking truth y’all
Yessss!!
Since I've been watching his videos which a few like this 1 has applied to my situation I've now taken action to stop mistreating myself over someone who is not treating me right and learning to walk away , thanks kev😊
I'm 8 yrs younger than the guy I like & he has given minimal effort for 5 yrs now. It's made me feel that I am not worthy of his love & he told me that my neediness was not attractive. Well he's made me feel that way. I am so heartbroken & I'm having the hardest time letting him go. Every guy I meet isn't him. I don't think I'll ever be the same again. Broken
This is Fkin DEEP af💯💯
'So many women attribute their feelings for a guy as his feelings for them.'
Very well explained. Very clear and concise. Some folks may need to listen to this a few times to really digest it because it takes a lot of self-reflection and creative- visualization to break these cycles.
It took me 20 out of 30 years to let him go so I can live in peace . Emotional narcissistic abuse make you think you are nothing while they have low self worth and self esteem. They don't love themselves how can they love you????
Your words are gold. He probably isn't close any one who requires anything from him. Everyone close to him helps him out. The man with no fight left. I'm learning the hard way about these weak men.
I am living for that outro 👏👏👏. The worst sweeping generalization is "all men cheat." It's like nails on a chalkboard for me. Just because you are attracted to cheaters does not men all men are cheaters. Believing that all men are whatever is Accountability Avoidance 101.
So true, I need to stop being the one ppl talk to get over someone so they can go and talk to someone else
That sigh at the end lol