Miminal effort | Signs a guy doesn’t like you | signs he’s playing games
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- Опубліковано 4 вер 2024
- This video is about minimal effort and when guys make excuses about why they don’t call or text you like they said hey would. If a guy is giving you minimal effort cut him off. He is just stringing you along. He is playing games. This is the number one sign he is playing games or stringing you along.
The irony is that he managed to communicate the fact that he's a bad communicator ....
💯💯💯
😂😂😂
Lmfao
More like a great bullshitter 😂
Giselle Kenndy 😂
Dear women, it’s NOT up to us to fix broken men.
Right‼️
And on top of that its impossible to fix him
Amen 🙏🏽
Facts
@@shashonibrown6735 amen?😂
Leave him alone sis, it only gets worse, trust me, I’ve dated I guy like this .
I second that
I third that, Sis.
I fourth that !!!!
I fifth the shit🤦🏽♀️. Was in this same situation not long ago and let me say it’s draining as fuck. She might as well keep movin bcuz it’s not gonna end well🤔
I was just with my ex and broke up with him for the 20th time. Same thing. Bad child hood
Bad relationships and gives me crumbs and I'm always trying to love his pain away. I feel so dumb.
This is why I multi dated, I kept my options open and stayed busy elevating my own life. I had no time for the bs & they had no choice but to pursue me. If they didn’t, I would block them. Then move on.
Yolonda Nyeema 💯💯💯💯
I’m team Yolonda.. I met a truck driver that made that same statement. I said ok we’re good.. blocked him 10 seconds later.. nobody got time for foolishness.
Yolonda Nyeema I feel you! circular dating it is all the way! 😍
Right on sister! You better school em.
Yolonda Nyeema this me the rest of 2020 lol
The key word here is PRIORITY. Generally us women can feel when a guy is communicating like we are a priority. Because even if he's busy, he's gonna find time to shoot you a quick nice text at SOME point that day. It's worse when they WERE talking with you great everyday for a period of time (ie a month) only to significantly slow down and skip days. Cuz now they got me all excited to talk to them everyday and they start ghosting. No mam 😤
AngieR Crawley agreed
AngieR Crawley Dang!! My same exact situation not long ago. I feel the same abt the ghosting as well. BYE😒🙄. Nobody is that busy that they can’t at least say Hi. Or even if they have a bad past the fact still remains that if he’s really interested a female would know💯🤔
FACTS
Righttttt
Story of my life!!!!!!🤦🏾♀️
We as women are too forgiving with men on their past upbringing! Let them heal on their own and not bare the burden on YOU! My dad walked away when I was a young child but I will never take that out on a guy I am dating...!
Bree Wright
You’re ABSOLUTELY right and I pray that every woman realizes this so that these men grow up and fix their own issues instead of looking for second mothers.
It's likely you are but can't see it or admit it to yourself.
@breewright Amen!!
Same shit, my dad left my pregnant mom and I’ve never seen him. Should I start acting like a bitch, cheating and trashing dude’s apartment cause of “trauma”? Fuck no. Some dudes are ridiculous and have bs excuses.
@@mango7966 yes, I thought it from the beginning, these guys need THERAPY but would rather try to use us as their therapy, lol....nope!! unless you wanna pay me $100/hr. to deal w/your crap...lol. ;)
“We need to stop punishing ourselves for the experience of others” PREACH!
He's simply not available no matter what the reasons are ,you can't date a ghost. He need a counselor not a girlfriend.
@Yasmine lol
@Molly Rivers 🤣🤣
@Buffalo 66 🤣🤣
He got somebody else. That's it.
I was talking to a guy he's always working he's always been bad at communicating. He never have his phone on him. I just stoped talking to him. No time for that
Great
❤️👏👏👏 That's right sis we don't need that
That's a bs excuse he gave. My son would use my phone when his broke to call his gf. I have guy friends borrow peoples phones. Men pull back often to see how desperate you get . To see what they can get away with.
skorpia g 💯💯💯💯
Good! Guys like that, don't need an official break up!!! Just stop talking to them and move on with your life and pretend that they don't exist! In other words the same energy they give you, you give them!!!
Most of the time "being real with you" is just a nice way of stating "I'm a jerk." 🙄 Don't invest in that.
Yes! I agree!
It seems like they are being admirable for admitting their flaws. It is very emotionally manipulative.
💯💯💯
Thanks for telling that. I got a guy atm. He does text a lot. Never calls unless drunk. Always tells me he is real when I call him out for his jerk moves. I don't think he respects me or cares about me anymore. But you're right. Let's move on. I won't die. I'll manage.
Yeah the last person I dated kept saying baby I'm real laid-back that's just how I am I'm just being real with you I'm telling you upfront the last few people I dated couldn't deal with it but I don't really say much I'm not much on of a talker and I'm laid-back I hope that's not a problem needless to say it was
yes, and the ones that say how "honest" they are, are the same...of course, theyre only "honest" about certain things
If the tables were turned, he would be gone so quick!!
Facts!! Men don't put up with bs like women do...we should take a lesson from them, and not tolerate bad behavior.
EXACTLY! Women need to ask themself that - "would he do all the sacrifices FOR ME? " if he wont LEAVE!
I agree
This!!!😁
Yup!
Precisely if a guy has shitty behavior in the beginning ( lack of communication, broke, cheap, ect) it only gets worse & not better.
unless maybe he gets a better job...but sadly, some would only use that to get a "better" girl too, and like a true p.o.s., just spend all their newfound money on their "new" girl, instead of the one that was there for months listening to his poor ass crap.
"He's a drain" Definition: a manboy, who shows initial interest and attraction, with no intention for serious or long term connection. Loves female attention and to be chased. Contributes minimal communication and effort. Lacks emotional boundaries and sometimes empathy. Appears indifferent and uses short bursts of warmth followed by long periods of silence. May use a females own emotions against them to diminish, confuse and fool. Due to early childhood trauma may seek revenge for their emotionally neglectful or abusive mothers. Exhausting and draining to be involved with.
so...basically all "men". lol
I sure bet he was "communicating " with other people (women) for the last 3 weeks!
Yes ! He is grooming her for expecting a little bit of effort from him. Plus, pulling the emotional manipulation card!
He will always use that excuse of a bad childhood for not being decent. Thing is, if he KNOWS that is his problem. he can sure face and fix THAT problem and heal. Not her responsibility!
"Strategic neglect ", love how you coined that phrase.
Nature Girl Strategic Neglect is right🤦🏽♀️🤔
Correct on that !! He sure was grooming another female with the same lines he used to hit me with so I fell back
“Strategic neglect” says it all
3 weeks??? Lord have mercy. After 3 days I would get frustrated
3 weeks is almost a month. I would’ve block his number
Girl I get frustrated and start lashing out after 3hrs lol
sameee! 3 days was my limit and I said ENOUGH!
GIRL
Shit 3 hours 😂😂
Why do women jump to "he had a bad childhood" as a justification to accept indecent behavior?
i sure never did that. as far as childhoods go, most peoples weren't perfect. its not a good enough excuse imo.
L. Royal its brainwash thing 🤦🏽♀️
because she wants to be his superhero . Rescuers. women, we gotta be wiser than this. If he has mental issues, he needs to seek professional council and not a women..He wont be capable of loving you, until he deals with himself.
Thank you!! Why?? @ L. Royal
Cuz they dont want to be alone
.simple as that. As a society we need to change that being single as seen as a negative. Thay whole ride or die shit need to go. Bet it started from a man . Also women need to ask the hard question if these guys would do the same for them. If not- get rid of him.
there are some men who deliberately ignore to keep control and when you do the same all hell breaks loose...
Kev, he will tell the woman he don't want a serious relationship, he don't want kids yet, the woman will stay 5 yrs then she breaks it off. In 6months he engaged to his soulmate 1 yr later he on social media rubbing his wife's baby bumb. Don't fall for the lies. The first time he disappoints....Show your anger!!! if he cares for real he will make the change. If not Show your ANGER and move on. Stop being so nice.
Very true😊 they also lie so they suck you in like I want to marry you and have 3 chlidren bullshit🥴🙄
True.
🎯 🎯 🎯 🎯
I agree , everyone went through some traumatic situation in life , heal and move on . I know it can be hard but trying can work ...Women Stop Nursing these Baby Men 👍
Yes! I love the "baby men" reference 😂
Yep, my ex was molested and is an alcoholic, he’s mean, abusive, 32 and is renting a room from a stranger, works two jobs to make ends meet...he sleeps around and is unable to recognize real love and therefore he could not receive my love. I walked away from that mess. I tried my best to be patient and even found him a counselor. Once I saw he wasn’t trying to fix his broken pieces on his own...I walked. Period. Not my broken heart to fix. Men have to want to fix their own stuff. Walk away and take his non-communication as a blessing from God. He’s trying to save you.
woww very noble to do that (to try to help like that) unfortunate he couldn't take/accept opportunity you offered to freaking improve his own self! wonder how we're all blind in some way like that one way or another (to be offered genuine help yet we turn our back to it)--perhaps with Godly things we're guilty of that or by follwing our impulses but rejecting discipline.
Anyway, thanks for posting.
Orionglow Yes we may all be blind in some way to others help but we must always love ourselves more. This is what she chose. I think loving yourself ( understanding your wants, needs and desires) is one of the purest forms of love ❤️.
I had a similar ex . So glad I escaped that mess . They never appreciate it in the end anyway. Glad u left him
@Aubrey Denson..my situation is identical to yours. I'm done with him. I moved out, changed my number. Haven't looked back.
A very humane thing to do but there is a saying that says"you can lead the horse to the water well but you can't force it to drink the water"😁😊
When a man is interested in you,Trust and Believe he will find a way to keep in touch,Dude has something else going on and he's making excuses,Believe always what a man does it says everyrhing......
@Robin D. yep...
3 weeks? Smh! He is just not that into you. A lot of people have been through traumatic experiences, but they are still willing to open up and love.
At this point in my life, my best advice is don’t be afraid to have standards. We want to be loved so badly that we’re afraid to show someone we’re upset or to just walk away. But here’s the truth, when you’re not afraid of who’s leaving, you’re making room for the right guy to step in and stay. By letting these losers take up our time, it’s like taking up a parking space, the right guy can’t stop and park now, he has to keep driving by. I promise you, by having standards and not taking crap, you’re just sorting out the good from the bad. You’re not losing anything when a guy who isn’t right for you walks out the door. Don’t be afraid to say he’s not enough, if he isn’t.
Thank you. We keep it moving.
Kevin is absolutely 1000%. Everyone has a sad story and look at Kevin's personal story. Tell any guy to "go work on himself." And he can call you when hes done and if you are available then you may be open. We must admit that in this case we women are also to blame for enabling this behavior.!
Anna Lore 💯
You are 1000% we have to stop being enablers
I’m guilty of the bs but at 38 I’m learning to do better...Enabling the bs and I’m single... At this point I feel like I’m Noah’s day...No GOOD GOD FEARING men left... This world is so corrupt and sex sex sex is what everyone is talking about...Facebook is the new Craigslist/Backpage...It’s really sad the condition we’re in as an whole (Mankind)
@@therealdoll9735 you said it sister!!! and the texting and online dating has made guys so lazy, thats why they like to text any girl they can and thats why they often get bored after a few weeks (or maybe just tired cuz theyre hitting up so many girls lol)
If that's all the men you find, then it's time to ask why.@@angelataylor7799
So I dated a guy who would text or call sometimes but could go long periods without talking to me & never initiated seeing me. When asked about this, he said that's just the way he is and that he was used to people reaching out to him all the time. He described it as a weakness. So I was like ok, everyone is different, maybe I'm being clingy or asking too much... I stayed in it. Months into the relationship, he says he knows he's not the best bf but he does enough 2 get by. I thought to myself.... okay, Is that right?! That told me 2 things. #1, like Kev says, he was aware that he should/could do more and #2 he was only trying to get his needs met & didn't care enough about me to change (like Kev says again)....
1 day I woke up and thought, why am I accepting this? I reminded myself of my worth and decided that it/he was not enough and I deserved better. We broke up shortly after.
Now, although there are things I miss about him & our relationship, I dont miss all the times I felt invisible and felt like I was working for his time & attention. I promise myself that I'll never give my time to any man who doesn't match my levels of effort and interest from the get go. Never again!
That literally sounds like the situation I'm going through
Well said sis!
❤️❤️
Good for you!!
You're delusional I hope that poor man is ok
How does Kev only have 171K subscribers??? Women around the world need this guy to go viral.
I was thinking the same thing! The truth needs to get out there and quick!
They should make him part of high school curriculum
@Kathleen last name
PROBABLY !!!! BECAUSE !!! HE !!! IS!!!
HAPPILY !!! MARRIED !!! ☺
@@getitherething.2653 yes, then maybe these dumb chicks will stop getting knocked up by these fools and stop producing dumbass kids...lol.
Kev, you are the truth!!!!
Girlfriend, that man is trying to keep you as an option or plan B.
I just broke up with my fiance because of him being a bad communicator. We were on top of the world in a happy relationship but every now and then he would not respond to my calls or texts for a day or two. After the 4th time, I had it with him. I broke up with him. It still hurts because I though he was going to be the one for me. But if I was going through this during the so called honeymoon phase of the relationship, that would be an indication of the problems I would have after we get married. If he don't value me now and communicate, he certainly won't value me later as a husband. We can't change a man, he has to want to change.
Well said sis! I went thru the same thing! Your real Kingdom man is out there. God will lead him to you. Glad you didn't settle!
I don’t understand why these people that aren’t responding or not interested just don’t say they’re not interested in more than occasional chat or that they just want to be a platonic friend. It’s like a dog chasing its tail trying to get those kind to communicate when they just don’t want to. Cut your losses and find a guy that wants to talk to you with no BS excuses.
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Exactly!
Perhaps he found someone more interesting. If things do not work out with the one he truly wants to be with then he comes back.
Hillary Amanda Right and nobody wants to be sloppy seconds.
Because you have something he wants and to see what are you willing to put up with while giving him what he needs.
Just because a man gives you excuses doesn’t make it right....
Amen
We’re in the age of dating sites so men are constantly searching for the next best thing. Either to add to his variety or find someone better looking than you. So he doesn’t have time to call or text 🤷🏾♀️
This video is like ripping the band aid off. It needed it be said 👏🏾
You are so intelligent Kev. Thank you, I blocked my ex today! He was causing me a lot of trauma by being in an out, not adding to my life, but rather taking away from it.
This is so true. Had a guy ghost me for 3 days on more than one occassion, usually around important days (new yrs eve, birthday, valentines) then come back the day after talking bout he just gets into a mood when he is stressed and ignores his phone. Anyways long story short I told him I require more (i.e. better communication and occasional dates) and I didn't think we were going to move pass our "talking to get to know each other phase". This is because all we did was text caz he was "not the social type, hates ppl, dont like to go out, just wanna hang at the house" type. Well if he didn't act like a whole bitch when I told him I wasnt interested in taking our situation further...told me I lack understanding and that I was not the type of woman he could have a future with if he couldnt be allowed to make "simple" mistakes. Then like a true bitch he blocked me. Lmaoo. Funniest shit ever. The garbage took itself out. Imagine he cant take me out on a date but wanted to know if sex was on the menu any time soon. Boy bye!
Hey girl, please let me insert my not-so-humble opinion by saying that I wouldn't even have let him know what I wanted. I would've just moved right along sis. He doesn't deserve an explanation. Someone having the nerve to ask me about sex yet he can't even take me out. The hell? Men nowadays 🙄😒
🤣😂
@kshiftkometh Hmm 🤔 what's a PUA?
Sounds like he already had a main relationship and was going to use you as a side chick.
@@denisetheur5641 Pick Up Artist
Two words Kev said that just dinged in my head & will forever be etched “ STRATEGIC NEGLECT” which is probably a cousin of gaslighting.
Thanks Kev. This the big brother advice we all needed. Fair exchange of energy ✊🏾
Exactly! He is my big brother in my head.
Sometimes he's my fantasy boyfriend....but all in my head 😂.
I LOVE that he is a happily married family man and I respect that.
But my thoughts are all MINE! LOL 😆
Hey Kev! Thank you so much. I just cut this guy off a few days ago. Same old story. Saying he'll text or call and then a wk later I get a "Wyd" My delete & block game is strong!
Right. They really think they can disappear for a few days with radio silence then return as if nothing happen? You will be returning to a automatic hang up from the block list sir.
How do you do this?!😭 I'm dealing with a really nice guy I've been trying for months but I can't bring myself to block him...but something tells me I should
That part😌
ooh, he couldnt even type out the whole words...lol.
@@cherieg2143 usually experience and dealing w/enough of these time wasters makes you block them real quick...lol. find something else to do like workout lol to distract yourself AND you'll be better off and hotter and can find someone better lol.
Is he adding to my life ? He's used to women figuring out stuff for him. .love it ! Disclosure. The act is the truth. He's grooming to accept lie standards. He chooses to be bad . He doesn't care.
"A receiver of Love, not a Giver of Love."..... wow, that was a powerful statement...... Takers
It’s NOT your job to heal a man.. He needs to do the work and you can pray for and support him. Kev is right, he told you how he is.. don’t settle sis.
Yep, 💯! Met a guy and he was texting and calling first week and told him some of my views and one is I don’t believe in chasing men. He then ghosted for 4days and reached out with some hello nonsense which I responded very generically. A week later he texts happy Mother’s Day..ughhh I’m done. This video is on point no need to even respond to low effort. Waste of time.. Tell his azz to take a communication class or whatever... I’m no therapist and don’t have time to heal you from your childhood issues. Video is on point. Thank you.
Thanks for the tough love Kev. This is the honest truth!!!
Thanks for that message 👍 😁 these guys are emotionally unavailable! Don't be playing wifey when dating! Its not my job to take his trauma aka bs into account okay got it! I been through alot trauma too but I don't make that an excuse to be a doormat or a codependent. Now a days it's hard to find healthy balanced traditional masculine men but I will not settle !
I'm dating a poor communicator but guess what...he communicates although briefly almost daily. If you are on his mind he will at least hit you up to say hey how you doing. Plus if I dont hear from him he wont hear from me! I'm too old to chase men.
*ONE THING THAT HE COMMUNICATED VERYYYYYYYY WELL IS THE FACT THAT HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HER. HE STAYED GONE FOR 3 WEEKS. BOYCHILE / MANCHILD BYEEEEEE🙄🙄🙄*
Damn I wish someone had talked to me about this and explained like you do on here. I'd be in such a better place today!!!
Yes me too
Me three!
3 weeks??? That’s almost a month. No man let’s you be without him that long, if he’s taking you seriously. That’s too much time for another guy to come along. He either knows he already has her conned, or he simply doesn’t care, or both.
Great advice Kev!
He went 3weeks without sending a text or call, she should've ignored him. It's obvious that he's not interested. Hopefully, she's moved on.
I totally agree with you! Kev, you hit the nail on the head! As for the girl, the man is obviously not interested and doesn't give a damn about you or how you feel! He is a narcissist! I know it hurts deeply! Get rid of him! He is definitely playing games!
"Narcissist" is thrown around way too much. Females need to take hints and empower themselves. Three weeks of no communication and she still hangs on? At what point does he need to spell out that be really isn't into her? Is that his responsibility to explicitly say? He's probably surprised she's still waiting for him. We teach people how to treat us. Possibly her thinking they're actually in a relationship of some sort is her mistake. That doesn't make him a narcissist.
Literally... This guy i was talking to recently can’t keep his face out his video game long enough to see what’s going on in reality... Huge turn off and rude on his part.. Ole well he can keep playing games I’m good on the childish behavior
@@therealdoll9735 ugh, so sick of "gamers" LOL, but seems theyre the majority these days... ;/
@@pa6127 well, depends on how long they were "involved" if at all....but yes. its hard w/egos when we KNOW hey they just don't care, but ego makes us want to chase and catch them to make us feel like we won. ugh.
My “favorite” excuse is when they say they’ve had problems with their phone for 3 weeks. That’s just an insult to my intelligence. It’s 2020, getting a new phone or fixing your current one isn’t that hard or expensive.
I just had the "sorry my phone broke" after ghosting for 8 weeks. Not falling for that stupidness.
or "forgot my charger" on an out of town trip (where he goes often) w/his friends...like, you went days w/o phone and couldnt have borrowed one from your "friends", or bought one? riiiight...lol.
@@angelataylor7799 Yes!
In the past I would give chances but ive learnt my lesson...if someone disappears once you can forgive but if they do it twice you need to cut it off ASAP! And it’s so empowering! Ladies stand up for your mental and emotional health don’t allow someone to come in and out of your life causing you worry and distress! (And by the way if he’s a really ‘bad communicator’ tell him you’re really bad at having sex before 6 months and see what happens)
I love that last comment! You're not even lying 🤣🤣🤣
omg, love that. and yes, feels so good to block. lol.
Before marriage...
Ooh hah love this
I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t really care if he calls or texts me 🤷🏿♀️’ I’ve soon realized’ I’m the princess 👸🏿 the ish ‘ that makes the ish! ISH! I’m sick and tired of feeling like I have something to prove all of the time! Not understanding that I’m the prize! The entire TIME!!!!💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿
so true!! they think theyre the prize and want us to chase THEM!! LOL!!!
If a guy brings up that he wants to see your place or he invites you to his place. There are killers out there, so be safe.
I had a similar situation when this guy wanted me to come to his house after we had a bad date, and I wasn't going for that. Red flag!
@@kagurachan4779 me too, a guy I just started talking to said I should "just come over" LOL. I'mma "just come over" to the block button an click it!! lol.
Dam Kev! You just schooled me on my last two relationship with this video. I was so stressed after the last one I started smoked again😣 I've been binge watching your videos trying figure how to dating smarter! Thx for all you help keep up the good work!
He is full of ish 😂😂😂.. bottomline ... walk away
Hey, Kev... Are you overcoming a cold or something? Your voice sounds a bit scratchy. If so, I hope you feel better soon. Hey, ladies, this one's for you: If he is NOT making you HIS PRIORITY, YOU'RE JUST AN OPTION FOR WHEN HE GETS BORED. A man who loves you or cares for you, will prioritize you by making sure he texts you back within an hour, calls you back THE MINUTE he gets the free time... And, when he stops asking about your well-being, stops saying goodnight or good morning, and then doesn't budge when you tell him how that makes you feel, cut him loose. You're not important to him. Kev Hick taught us that.
Your going to criticize his voice, but then regurgitate his advice on his channel as if you came up with it yourself?? What kinda bs is that?!
Too often not only do we buy into another's lame excuses for their horrible behavior, but we also buy into our own lame excuses about the other's horrible behavior toward us, because we want to believe they really are a good person.
Preaching like a true leader. It took me a lot of work and pain to finally accept accountability for every hardship experience I put myself through. Love it
Hope it doesn't sound like I'm yelling, just really passionate about people "not getting treated like shit."
I don't know why that part made me laugh. 😭
This guy nailed it. It's the truth
The guys isn't intrested enough
So true. Let him go. He just told you he cant give you what you need. He's not into you.
I've dated someone who's father was murdered, brother died in a accident, had a shitty childhood and experiences all around and honestly as much as you love them and they might love you it does not get better if they don't heal what's in themselves and I've had a fucked up childhood myself and trying to heal him left me more broken than it left him. I felt like he was punishing me for all the shit he's been through and thank God because NEVER AGAIN! Will I ever put myself through that again. Trust me it is not worth it! At all! Now I don't want to be in any relationship anymore. Run!
"left me more broken than him" so true.
Real talk! It's his way of prepping you to accept his bs.
My dad had an insanely horrible childhood with a violent drunken father. He's never raised a hand to us and I've never seen him tipsy. His twin is an abusive drunk. My aunt thought she could help him... for 50 years. Poor lady😣
This is certainly helpful to many women who tend to overthink and cling on to the mixed signals. This happens because of our bias (we want to believe), our craving for love, and often a lack of sense of self (codependency tendency). You have a good heart and are hungry for love, but there are selfish takers that will only think of their own interest, even when they appear as "nice guys" to you.
Ladies, men who use their traumatic past and tell you sob stories early on, are often of the worst kind : they have a victim mentality and don't intend to grow. As Kev said, it's a subtle tactic to groom you for crumbs. Covert narcissists and psychopaths and cluster b people know it well.
Everybody has baggage and trauma, but using it in the beginning as a badge of honor, when you should be on your best behavior, is always a red flag.
yes, and if we sympathize and tell them to get help, they refuse and are like "but you can help me" and I'm like "um...nooo....I dont think that I can..."
My goodness ! I wish I have heard this 30 years ago. Both of my husbands lost their mommys at 14 and used that as an excuse for every damn thing in the world. And I was young and dumb enough to buy into that until I didn't . This is one of your better msgs. It could be flip sided too. Women do this too oh my dad hit me thats why im crazy etc. Thank you for this. Much needed!
Kari Brady Or what about the excuse that he's shy? If he knows he's shy, he should have worked on himself as a teenager and his early 20's to improve or get counseling, not use it as an excuse not to call me or take me out!
@@chrisjackson6023 Fair point sure I agree. Some people are introverts some are not. I'm talking about let's ruin Christmas for 20 yrs cuz his mum died . Make sense?
Kari Brady LOL! He should have sought some counseling a LLLLOOOONNNNGGG time ago! 20 years?
@@chrisjackson6023 I'm just saying as example. I left him more than a decade ago. So there ya go. Counseling never helped him never will.
Honestly thank you sm this was so fucking helpful I’m the type of person to try and help and be there for people even if they ain’t there for me but I needa focus on who is there for me and not care about anyone else
Kev, you are speaking some powerful truth. Many times men will tell you that dealing with something and can't commit. Yet when you decide to let him go you will see him on social media doing everything with his new woman he claimed he was not able to do with you.
THIS.
I just went through this, and I walked away already. I'm not going to waste my time waiting for someone who no longer cares about me. I still like him, but I like myself even more and I'm gonna go somewhere else to get what I deserve. Thank you for your words!!
Great advice and so true "where I'm from, everyone has a sad song"....don't be a "fixer"...keep walking sis❤
unless they wanna pay you $200/hr to be their "therapist" LOL (which of course they don't, cuz theyre all broke/cheap lol.)
Strategic Neglect. Finally found out what it’s called. Thank You!!
He communicated when he took your phone number... His communication was on point.. Direct. What the puck.. don't fall for the okie-doke
Totally agree...😍 run the other way fast before you get totally involved with him or her. It happened to me that's why I know.
Wow, "Strategic Neglect" This!!!!!!!!!!
So he wasn't interested enough, and so he gave me crumbs. Things ended and now he is with someone else. And I believe he will give her his all, I don't know why men are like this (maybe have a video explaining this? Why men treat some women like trash meanwhile treat others like queens, I know I'm not trash so why can't I be treated like a queen?)
I have to move on I know. Thank you for this video, happy to click play! Haven't seen a video of yours in a while, it's good to watch you again, thanks!!
J Birdss They treat the kind hearted women like trash and treat or the bitches like queens
@@louisaklimentos7583 yup.
they try things to see who will put up w/what, and decide who to treat good or bad.
Strategic Neglect....game changing phrase and concept. Women need to know this...THANK YOU.
I’m literally crying. It hits so close to home. Such a powerful message I desperately needed to hear. Thank you, I need to say good bye again.
3 weeks??!! His ass would’ve BEEN and graduated to my block list after being ignored the first time.
I know that's real!!
Thank you! Your words are wisdom.
Thank you for letting me know I don't have to eat crums, and I can say with out regret next and prioritise my self love...Neeeext!
Xoxo from Central America El Salvador.
Similar situation without the past history. Always busy never enough time for me but always texting good morning, sending little emojis during the day and good nights. I constantly questioned him why I couldn’t see him. Lasted a month until I called his game. He ghosted me. Haven’t had a text since. True. If you’re not interested, just be a grown adult and say something. Ghosting and being strung on really hurts!
Mannnn you did this one, and right on time for a lot of us, we always try to figure out why he's not calling, what we need to do to make it better but the truth is like you said despite that persons childhood/experiences, if they truly want you in their lives they would give the same energy that you give, no excuses. I've seen men do that to one woman and the next woman he's all over. Women we need to listen and understand what's being said by Kev, all true!! Love as always Kev!!!
💯 correct! And ladies
Always know your value and add tax!
Yes to adding tax! Great comment.
Yes to adding tax! Great comment.
Ameenn
SPEAK, KEV!! My friend and I were just talking about this today. A man needs to come prepared to date me. I put the work in on myself and FOR myself, so that I can attract a partner who is on the same level as me. We all have been through things that mold and shape us to our present day self. SHOW ME, don't tell me. Bare minimum does not impress or excite me. I don't applaud a fish for swimming.
absolutely if he ADMITS it then he knows ... and if he knows it means he now has a CHOICE to change if he isn’t making effort to change / get help ... then is a lost cause and staying with is only enabling ... sometimes people need loses in order to change ... thank you Kev 🙏
I am so happy I came across this video. This video is so necessary for us women because we do take a lot more than we should from men because we are always trying to "save" and prove ourselves to them when they're broken. We need to just realize that it is not our job to heal them.
Kevin, I have to thank you for your advice. You should be a therapist. Because you are articulate and blunt and encouraging and even funny. I learn so much from your classes. Thank you!
Damn Kevyn, this was brutal! But so needed... Thank you keeping woman in check. Sometimes some of us need to hear some tough love in order to keep going in the right track. 🙏
That is a very valid point of he or she is not your responsibility or your job to make him whole
The struggle is real!! I know it seems dumb when you finally have a great and decent man, but it took me 34 years to figure it out!! I wasted 8 months with a guy who only texted me once a week and it was usually a Tuesday! And before that I was engaged to a narcissist who wouldn’t stop calling me at work hahahah woe is me 😭😂😭😂😭😂
Sir, your advice is 100% self-love and improvement.
Have a beautiful day
I had one started texting everyday and ghost me! Turn around text out blue month later. Ignored his text. He finally calls blames me on some dumb stuff. I just 🚫 him.
WOW MAN (this is my story)
your videos really saved me from a situation that I knew deep inside of me, that was not a healthy relationship and because it was "my first" relationship (lets call it like that) I didn’t know if it was right or not..
In the beginning we were always hooked on our phones, always calling each other, always texting, planning to see each other cause we don’t live on the same city soo... the distance was hard at first time now I know its a blessing !
Few months after, he started to tell me that he was not comfortable talking on the phone and that he didn’t like being on the phone or calling and stuff, I was really naive and confused at the same time, he was talking to others girls and stuff (I knew it thanks to a friend that showed me some msg) so basically we stopped talking to each other for 4 months and then he came back, saying that he wants to continue with me, that he missed me, that he was thinking of me but deep inside I KNEW he was the same, acting the same, ghosted me for days and then acting like I was the crazy one, to emotional, to this or this.... He didn’t wanted to be here when I was not on my best mood, he just wanted to be here when I was feeling good, never here on my down side, never a single call, nothing.
Not even adding any value in my life, I JUST DIDN'T HOW TO CUT HIM OFF
But he will always do some "efforts" just to have pictures of me or asking for things that he wanted to have from me but thanks God I never gave me what he wanted from me cause I had this feeling inside of me and those questions, is this love ? is this how I want to be treated ? is this really the type of relationship that I deserved ? do we have a future together ? do I see this man as my future husband ? do he add value to my life?
HELL NO!
So one day I was like really hungry and frustrated and I just wanted to be free from him and his manipulation to keep me addicted with small shit effort, I KNEW from experiences that telling how I feel to a guy like this, is just a wasted of time so one day I stopped talking to him, just like that, NO RESPONSE and suddenly 10 missing calls a for week, GUESS FROM WHO ? Mister no calling ( in his head we were good but I WAS NOT) So
Till this day, I'M HEALING my self and I don’t expect a single thing from this guy I just want to continue to move on, heal and fall deeply in love with myself as strong and respectable woman that I am, SIS DON'T WAIT START NOW he don’t deserve a queen if he’s no king. thks for reading if you did. LOVE / PEACE AND RESPECT ON YOUR WAY
Yep... makes perfect sense. I just ended a situation that started back in Dec off of this strategic neglect. I strarted feeling it back in Jan and attempted to end it then but his defense was all my boundaries I had in place. So, one by one, I told him dont worry about them ... just to see if he'd attempt to capitalize on their removal. Nope! Our communication still sucked... I brought it to his attention and he then made it clear he wouldnt call because he dont like speaking on the phone... he rather text. Fast forward to Feb he makes no attempts to reach out outside of text. So, I stopped responding because I dont like texting. VDay passed and I guess he expected sex because he made sure to call me while at work to verbally wish Happy Vday and inform me that he was home. I just said same to you and carried on about my day. I then told him not to message me outside his typical how was your day, wyd because honestly it serves nothing to me and just felt like a checkmark for communication. It doesnt get deep on getting to know each other or making plans for time with each other. I finally got ghost on him and dont even feel bad about it. He msgd me some raggedy pic of us I dont even like saying he missed me and I straight told him to pursue somebody else. The clown has yet to respond... smh.
I feel like we are all dating the same lame dude smh
Block him
@@nonelikememe Theres a plethora of them. And they think its perfectly fine how they conduct themselves. I refuse to put up with it... My only regret was allowing him to waste some more of my time. I knew it was BS excuses and on VDAY allowed him the opportunity to do what he did.
@@moons4363 No need. He isnt persistent AT ALL.
@@MD-vh4nf okay😊
Say this again Kev ! Content like this means game over , so ladies, women , females. Apply this good content . I will.
I’ve had a guy who told me that he was interested in me and wanted me to be his girlfriend but he would only text me one time out of the month and then he had the nerve to ask me why haven’t I been the one reaching out to him. Bye! I don’t chase men.
what a fool. one guy was baffled that I didnt call him....like, wtf?? hes never called me, so why would I call him? and thats exacly what I told him, and he called immediately. lol. sadly turned out to be a ghosting narcissist, but oh well...lol.
Good word!!! So true!! I cut a guy off who treated me like shit with his inconsistent communications. I deserve better.💯
Ladies let these men heal on their own it's not our responsibility to fix them. A man that's really interested will display that. Someone that has one foot in and one foot out isn't interested. Communication is everything without it, it won't work. Stop being a place holder for these dudes not worth it.
Damn....great insight & advice. I wish more men learned this stuff or thought this way.
This is 100% and I’ve always fallen for it every time, not anymore lol
1000% right on!! People make time for the people and things that are important to them.. and sadly it does just sound like a lame excuse. Right along with I work a lot of hours and I just don’t have time... seriously?! Thanx Kev!! Keep shining !!