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Rule # 1: Run Rule # 2: Run far Rule # 3: Run far far Rule # 4: Run far far far Rule # 5: Run far far far far Rule # 6: Run far far far far far Rule # 7: Just run!
U got dui iud go date that ratchet ova there n stay da fk away from me !!!!!! Thank god for hypergamy !!!!!! Stay away from the dusties n psycho paths 😱😱😱😱😱
Debbie Nabi end of the day money women are centered from emotion but men cant be emotional but have to love a woman in whatever condition she is in and heal and love her at highest capacity even if broken 😢
@@Unapologeticallyme89 Girl...If the choice is between you and me, I'm choosing myself every time. Leaving these emotionally unavailable dudes in my dust 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️.
😘 Another good one Son,. My friend, and I were listening to your very encouraging, and motivating video about about how if you're not satisfied with your weight,, then do something about it, and we are. We are walking an hour and a half each morning and then off to water aerobics, for 45 minutes. Not only does my son help you guys, I want you to know that he is also my own inspiration 🤗. I am so very proud of him, and I would like, to thank all of you , for your overwhelming and awesome, support and the love yu have shown Kevin. Kevin is the best gift that God has ever give me.
Went through this shit... Gurl if he's emotionally unavailable, you better run for your life. The boy almost killed me giving me all kinds of heart palpitations and sleepless nights😓😢😅
I dated a damaged man. He kept whining about why his ex wife left him. I can see why she left him. Always crying victim, didn’t want to find solutions, and wanted a pity party. Typical narcissist.
OMG! They never want to find solutions, have a million excuses why they can't do this or that, and most of all will never, ever, ever give you a direct answer!
Focus on other things in life..Dont waste your time obsessing over an unavailable man....You will realize in the end that you just wasted your time, energy, tears and emotion over this man...
Ballsy Bunny #1 sign is they do not invest any sort of emotion. Everything is sexual and somewhat robotic. #2 he will be inconsistent.. and throw mixed signals. #3 Everyone in his past is responsible for is inability to love, not him. This is just a few signs. #4 you plan the meet ups but they only happen on his time, you give and give and he gives just enough or absolutely nothing.
Married one of those, exwife was evil, but he failed to mention that he was the culprit of her actions. Guess what, he didn’t learn, I became his “evil” exwife as well. 🙄
Yes be careful, because a lot of men like this love to project their issues on the ex relationship, when all along they were the problem. Glad you got away
@Latoya M. I had guy that I was getting to know but I sensed he could be controlling. He made statements like why do you workout so much, why do you wear weave, it's bad enough that I have to win your grown kids over, now I got to get to know your dog too. So I simply texted him after one of his wyd text. I said hey handsome I think you are nice guy however I don't feel that I'm the woman you should be pursuing. I wish you all the best and take care. The key is cut that BS off early. I have several examples some not so nice. It depends on the person. Dude sent me a D pic. I responded with an even larger D pic that I got off line. Never heard from him again. Silly Rabbit😜
Nessa, you're so right girl! In these songs, I always hear guys spitting so-called " hot fire" in their lyrics about it being so easy for them to cut a woman off, while many of our lyrics are lovey-dovey, but we have to know when to turn the love off, and the power on.
1. Don't try to do/fix everything for him. 2. Don't try to be everything to him. 3. Observe his commitment to change. 4. If you're not his girlfriend, don't pretend to be. 5. Recognize the "I've been hurt before " b.s. 6. Don't settle for friends with benefits. 7. Avoid the scarcity mindset.
"Let him figure his own s**t out" "The main problem in his life is HIM" I felt those in my soul! You always come through with a timely messages like the big brother I always wanted.
You ain't never lied!! I had a guy that I recently dumped who's been asking me to insure a 🚗 car he bought with no driver's license lol .. Im like who does that?!!? ..He was so confident I would help/save him that he bought it without even asking me first..Boy! He was sadly mistaken! Im not your Momma/wife what do you think this is he tripping for real!! Lol😆 I told him your on your own dude.. You'll figure it out..maybe your dumb ass shouldn't have bought it in the first place knowing you can't legitimize it on your own😒
I've loved a damaged man for too damn long. He didn't have the emotional ability to love me back. He broke me into tiny peices and still begs me til this day to give him another chance. I ain't got nothing left to give this man, he took everything and drained me. Now it's all about me and learning to love myself again and fix myself! I'll never date a damaged man again.. I learnt the hard way they turn around and break you!
Most of these trauma’s are passed down from generations, etc how to be a man, men in this society in my opinion, are way better than the men from previous generations
Nah ain’t no handling for me...too draining. Unavailable ppl tend to be stuck in their past & pain which make them unresponsive to ur kindness & good intentions towards them. Been there...I’d say stay farrrr away but that’s me tho. Nice video as always Kev!😏
I just wanna say I'm proud of you ladies on here. It starts with the woman. If a woman don't change how she deal with the men. These guys continue their madness. Stay strong. U have too.
I wish I would've heard this 2 years ago. I fell in love with a coworker (mistake #1!!). But he was "hurt" from his ex-wife and all that. I spent those 2 yrs trying to "heal him" and show him love and after all that I ended up broken and empty handed. NEVER TF AGAIN! But I'm grateful for my ex. He showed me how desperate and lonely I really can be and how I'll never fucking be again! 💯💯📢
Rule 1. Don't go out with him Rule 2. Don't go out with him Rule 3. Gurl don't go out with him Rule 4. Delete his number Rule 5. Date someone else, just not him Rule 6. Drop him and move on Rule 7. Didn't y'all hear me, DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM! You're welcome 😂
I used to hate dating but now that I’m dating again with guidelines and a purpose. I love it! My main rule is just to not take anything personal and to stick to my guns and know what I want. A guy tried to pull that I been hurt before bs with me recently. And I told him we ALL been hurt like u need to just focus on making yourself whole again bc I’m not going to be smashing dude and wasting my time. And u know what he told me... It’s not wasting time if we both enjoy it. Like I really thought I was dumb AF and falling for the okie doke. I ghosted him and left him where I found him lol
Date with guidelines and a purpose, I think you could write a guideline for all women and sell it, girl! I do believe that we need to be moving with purpose as well, and just keeping things casual with men initially and not planning our weddings so soon, when it's usually not that serious.
It's just like he says "I'm not ready for a relationship" No but you can text me half past twelve at night wanting to come over, huh? Ridiculess! "Don't sleep with emotionally damaged men or you'll be just as damaged" I was to the point where I got physically sick. Beware ladies, it can destroy you completely!
@@gingerfellah5665 Well one year later I can tell you he turned out to be mentally ill, narcissism and psychosis, he hears voices and have been committed to the psych ward. He will eventually have the diagnosis schizophrenia and he has been emotionally abusing me for 3,5 yearsincluding a rape. I have reported him to the police and applied for a restraining order. It will as all other reports in my vountry be closed without any reprocautions but at least Ive tried. He also moved in on the street next to mine after 5 months "a panic move, couldnt stay with my mother bc shes a manipuative bitch whos destroyed me".. Right, so I'm pretty fucked. Also Ive broken it off 11 times and he doesnt get it. He comes back weeks or months later as if nothing happened. And claims he cant remember all the horrible things hes said..I got so sick from the stress I had an episode of an autoimmune disease, heartfailiure, lost 8kg and half my hair from this. Hes a walking demon.
I just don't, I'm tired. As soon as I realize the baggage outweighs the bounty, I'm done. I don't ghost or anything and I always let them know it is me, not them. I, however, am tired of putting myself back together after being hurt and then having to help someone else fix themselves also. Netflix and Postmates is looking really good these days.
Please be aware of men with mother issues. If she abandoned him, put her boyfriends before him, verbally abused him, or she died and left many unanswered questions why she neglected him just leave him. He has problems that has nothing to do with you and HE needs to seek help or you will find yourself forever chasing him and he'll always be running and you will be exhausted!
"His Astylist" 🤣. Man I remember being the fixer. Maaaaan. I did all that you listed NOT to do. The pain I felt in that situationship, I told myself NEVER again will I do that!
@c1981 how about you all start caring for you all selves. Making sure you're good physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, financially, and sexually.
When a Man loves you or is interested in you, you know it. You can feel it, it shows up in he actions whether damage or not. Like the man said, if it’s been more than a couple months and there No talk about a future? Then it ain’t one...
Ladies stop reflecting yourself in this damaged man, you will be damaged as well, love the man who is infront of you not behind you. You can't handle an unavailable man because he can't give what he doesn't have Love!!! He can give you anxiety and low self esteem.Thanks Kevin.
Yes, there are plenty of good men. That doesn't mean they're good for me specifically. Just being a good man doesn't automatically make him a viable partner. So it's a little more complicated than just saying, "there are plenty of good men". Although staying in a miserable situation with a man who also isn't qualified is not the solution, definitely better to be single and reconnect with yourself. ❤
Fell in love with a good yet emotionally damaged guy. He kept talking about how his exes dumped him, cheated on him, etc. He hasn’t moved on from anything lmao.
“If you lay with enough damaged men, you will be as damaged as them...” Ladies, that’s why knowing, having, and owning your self worth is priority and key. You come first, you love yourself first and you keep that boundaries. Please.
You spoke nothing but FACTS! Its like I'm a magnet for emotionally unavailable men. God keeps allowing them to come in to see if I've learned my lesson or not lol. From taking psychology, personal experience, and research I know its all stemmed from my childhood. Abandonment issues from my dad not being fully active in my life. I'm in the process of retraining myself out of that. It's toxic and draining asf. And then when the men who are emotionally available shoot their shot, I would feel that they were "lame" or "corny".. BUT now I've been really attracted to those types of men. I have to force myself to be believe I am worthy of that type of love & attention and that there are good men out there. Don't judge me, I'm learning!
Hautenani play with it baby! Can't nobody make me cum like me. 😂 If you must play with it morning, noon and night... Do so. Lol I do that until my angels bless me. I'm so tired of the unemotional 1 minute men. 😢😂
Nice tips Kev. First, things first ladies, your body is sacred, since this man is unavailable emotionally, you SHOULD NOT be available for him sexually or emotionally, until he can meet you halfway! An unemotionally available man hasn't healed his past, and as a result, his anger drives him, so he has to find a release, and he releases his frustrations out the most on the person he is in a relationship with. This is verbal and emotional abuse. You can do flips, cook, role play and etc, and it won't help the situation for the long term, you just add fuel to fire, the best course of action is to give him, a lamp to help him find his way back to the light, and some space to grow, and heal in hermit mode.
What I have learned from my experience in relationships with damaged people (both genders) is that - Givers need to have limits, because takers never do. Damaged people are takers -emotionally, energetically, physically. You don't help them by all your giving, instead you end up drained and exhausted - and they wont care! Nor will they be any less damaged by your giving.
The truth no matter how positive you are & communicate effectively, they will still bring up negativity & expect you to share love to them they ain’t giving you
I JUST walked away from something like this. Super draining and i deserve someone who is ready. I do not have to be the one to fix anyone or be the one to make him feel whole when that’s his job to do.
I was one of these men. But someday one of these girls I was dating told me I should work on my self confidence. That made me think about it, do some research and eventually realize that I did indeed have to work on that. And it made me work on myself, she basically changed my life by saying that because I didn't know that that was my problem. What I want to say is: many man won't even know about themselves what their problem is. They aren't confident and don't build confidence because they don't know that that's actually the problem. You shouldn't date them indeed, but if you're planning to leave them I'd suggest that you could give them a 'hint' about what their issue might be so at least they have a chance to realize that and start working on theirselves. Can be a lack of confidence, victim mindset, 'nice guy syndrome', and much more. But many of the men just don't know. (Just like women anyways)
Do you really think a woman just leaves a man she loves without a hint? I talked to my ex thousand times in 10+ years and he just didn’t want to admit it or work on it at all. I felt even lonelier than being alone, actually I felt dead inside and I left, never look back.
I wish you did this video 3 years ago. This video was so helpful, my ex is damage . His dad committed suicide when he was 16 and he had to be the one to identify his body at the morgue. His stepdad abused him and his mom and eventually kicked him out the house when he tried fighting him back when he was a teen. He joined a gang to survive on the street, but eventually he made it off the street and today he is a lawyer , but he has never gotten therapy for the trauma he went through. It really affected him. I tried several times to convince him to see a therapist he refused . I couldn't handle his toxic outburst s anymore and realised I need to do what's best for me leave . Thanks for the videos they've helped understand a lot about men now when it comes to dating.
@Eva Green Lover So sorry to hear what you've been through... I wish you all the possible strength in your life and certainly for being able to open up again to someone. I hope you will encounter someone that will be trustworthy, faithful, kind, understanding and patient. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and especially the opening up to men who make you feel scared. Sending you prayers and love.. 🌼 I do know that there are a lot of different kinds of therapy, they may not be a solution, but I hope, if you do want to pursue that option, that it will work as an alleviation for you. ❤
@Blue Eyes I am also a survivor of horrific abuse.i do understand , I do have a phobia of strange men, I have diagnosed PTSD and in trauma therapy, but I have a fear of men and I stay in flight or fight mode constantly. When im around men.i get so tore up.i get panic attacks, but as for therapy,its all about the money, I've went tru several, and I'm still not 100% .
@@kimkilgore148 I am so sorry to hear about your challenges. How are getting on with the healing process? I hope you are doing great now. May I encourage you to also consider building a relationship with Jesus because He is a great healer. Are you aware that Jesus Christ loves you very much and deeply cares about you and you need Him? Please give Jesus a chance to love you unconditionally as your Lord and personal Savior ❤️
How i used to be. But GOD🙌🏼 HEALing , empowerment, increase in spirituality, more blessings, a better me and definitely ALWAYS SELF LOVE YOURSELF 1ST✔ !
Exactly. My favorite excuses: -it is or was the wrong time time -I have a lot on my plate right now -lets just go with the flow and see what happens -titles make things weird -everytime I tell someone I like them or open up, something bad happens I-I want to take things slow (while trying to bumrush you for sex) -we will commit when the time is right -we will commit if you stick around (while they ghost you or push you away) away) -I haven't found the right woman yet (chances are you may not be her either) -ive been hurt before and I dont wanna be hurt again (who tf does?) -I know I promised you we would be official and you'd meet my mom. But that was last week. I changed my mind (and nothing drastic occured) -youre forcing a committment (all bc you put your foot down and don't give in) -we arent compatible for a relationship, but we are compatible for sex! Why don't we try that!? 🙄 Whiners. Foh with this bs
These men are always changing their mind for some reason. And the second one is like "I'm busy". As if they suddenly became busier with their lives when before they were very responsive and sweet with you.
This video has me near tears. I am a brilliant, educated, talented, loving, and thoughtful woman who is currently in love with the exact type of man you describe here. The part that hurts most is I KNOW what I'm putting up with is dumb and yet I continue because I am so afraid there's no one else. Your insight on the scarcity myth is helpful because that's exactly why I'm allowing this. I'm gradually gaining the strength to break free. Thank you for this video.
Self love. Find your soul purpose. Healing is a grieving process. Mourn the old and all of the dead weight, people and outdated ideas you had about love. Change the pathology. Many times, attracting unavailable partners is the Universe way of showing us our own emotional injuries that need healing. Meditate. It will all come together for you soon. Wishing much peace & light!💫
See you said it girl, I'm right there with you, exactly. What adds to my "being crazy" over this guy, is I'm starting to think that with all I've been thru, wich hell yeah made me stronger when I was younger. Has now taken its toll hell, I'm 50 years old now. I'm not as young as I used to be so ya know, back in the day I wouldn't have cared about this chump, but now. Shit.
I’m not perfect and I’ve experienced some draining relationships. So now I know better and do better. Ladies require a man to be “secure”. Secure, emotionally, financially, mentally and spiritually. If he doesn’t have at least these Qualities....run like hell ✌🏽
I definitely am a broken bird person not only with men but, also, with my female friendships. I've been secluded for a while not feeling well. At first my friends would call and periodically checked on me. Then recently I noticed that my friends had not checked on me for months. At first I was salty they hadn't then I thought well I hadn't reached out. So I have reached out a bit but you know I was there for them through multiple things and I guess I just didn't get the same back. Sometimes relationships are just meant to end if one person is the one giving all the energy. I'll wait to see if they just fade away.
Life tobelived me too. It hurts. I’m always giving, making sure I remember birthdays, always showing up. It’s not reciprocated, but leaves me with no one. So I continue.
I felt the same ,then I realized the problem was with me. Never give expecting anything in return,it’s not a debt and it’s not fair.give because you care and because it’s who you’re.
Well said. It’s our choice to be in a healthy relationship. We deserve a man that is willing to be a parter. True love should never be miserable. If a man is unemotionally unavailable, move on. You ARE NOT going to change him.
I was dealing with emotionally unavailable guy he burned me . Left emotional and mental scar..I learned my lesson no more psychotic guys with to much baggage ..emotionally unavailable but 🍆available.
Damaged men have been hurt one time and given up. That’s how weak they are. Instead of growing, they hold everything inside and are too d u mb to understand themselves and reflect
I really enjoyed listening to your message- I was married to a emotional unavailable man for 36 years - You think I would Have learned from that shitty abuse-- well I'm in that rabbit hole again! It's about time I finally get information and knowledge that will finally lead me to my happiness -
I needed this video so badly a few months ago for the last guy I was with. I dated a good guy with sooo much PTSD and should've run once he asked that I trust him. He never cheated, but he dazzled me with his caring nature before he retreated back into issues, leaving me wondering where the hell that goofy, seemingly confident guy working on himself went.
Also, just a piece of advice from me, please dont sleep with a man UNAVAILABLE or AVAILABLE before you're married. Body count matters , stop letting men stick it in you and LEAVE like you didnt exist. On top of that, you dont know where these people have been. They could be infected.
I don’t think we should group all emotionally unavailable together. Don’t overlook his advice that says observe your prospective partner and see if they take the initiative to do the work and continue to do it. Everyone has been hurt and even damaged. Please point out the person who is completely emotionally in tact without a history. What we want to avoid is people who have no self motivation and use people to fill voids they should be healing. Women are taught to do the work for their partner because of some false belief we’re made to nurture and be someone’s comfort woman. Let go of that belief and you’ll start investing in relationships with people who do the same. Basically I’m saying: listen to this video and listen to again.
I was looking for this comment. I've been dating a guy for a year and the long story short about it, he's going/gone through some pretty tough situations regarding his basic necessities (work,home,health and family). So I was in search of some advice to get me through the tough times but he absolutely is working on himself and I believe will bounce back better then ever. Its just if I am emotionally mature to understand he needs some time (we're talking a few weeks) and know this is not personal.
Potential isn't good enough to place my heart in your hands. If he's taking initiative that's great, he needs to take that time alone to do the internal work to heal himself. Oftentimes we get caught in the crossfire by waiting around on this "potential". If someone is unavailable he will not mentally be able to communicate, love, nor support you properly when you need it. So in the meantime, you are forfeiting the love you deserve. It will be a one-sided situation while you wait for that change. No thanks. I will wish you well and if I'm still available when you finally are, maybe we can try again. Eventually you will begin to question yourself, become confused and your self-esteem will decline. Literally ended a dating situation today because of those emotions while I tried to "wait" it out for almost the past year.
Hey Kev, Great Video. True Facts you stated!! Also men who don’t have a good relationship with their mothers or feel like their mothers neglected them in some type of way are hard to deal with also. They tend not to trust woman very easily.
Thanks for this video, I'm in a relatable situation where the man I have been seeing for 3 months has not been giving me his all. He's been inconsistent with plans and only sees me when it's convenient for him. We have great chemistry and dynamics, however he has unresolved strings from his past keeping us from advancing. I took a month apart from him to rethink our "relationship" and I come to the realization that it will never go anywhere and he's comfortable with how things are. I don't have the time to nurture and build a man. He needs to want to work on his unresolved issues before being with anyone.
This video is on point!! But same goes for us too! don’t mislead someone just because you don’t want to be alone, in revenge to someone else or you need financial support. People nowadays are so much in need of emotional support or financial support that have them stay I’m toxic relationships.. being emotionally and financially independent is a skill we all most need to learn.
Yes sis, this guy I met on bumble 🙄ikr.. we talked met for lunch He knows i'm buying a home and i'm very financially set. His house burnt down long story short I asked if he was going to get a new home and he said yes i will. Then his talking About me and him being together like relationship. Well then he starts telling me what house i should get. Oh hell no.... he said u should move near me get a home with land and a workshop I could work on my cars there. I quickly said well what's the news on ur home u found anything? No not yet no sir no sir.. then another day I met his son who is 17 and his son asked about what kind of house i'm trying to get. 🤷🏽♀️ r u asking that? So his dad quickly responded hopefully my us. I said well have u been looking for a home for u? I'm not sure when i'm moving. He said no I haven't I think i'm going to live with my mom a lil longer. I hope he don't think i'm moving him in hello no.. that's mine only I need to meet me half way with at least having your own stuff
@@senoraespinosa6176 You would have needed to ask more questions if you were still interested. He was treating you like the golden ticket. Why he told his sone about you is definitely questionable. That is why I am staying single cause it is all a game for some
Self love. Find your soul purpose. Healing is a grieving process. Mourn the old and all of the dead weight, people and outdated ideas you had about love. Change the pathology. Many times, attracting unavailable partners is the Universe way of showing us our own emotional injuries that need healing. Meditate. It will all come together for you soon. Wishing much peace & light!💫
Thanks for this! I've just entered into a FWB with a guy who says he doesn't want a relationship because he's damaged from his past marriage. It's not felt right to me. You've just convinced me to throw him to the curb! I can tell its going to mess me up and it's the last thing I need. If he wants me, he needs to do the right thing.
Heard that same sh** before, thanks for verifying my exact thoughts. I love me some me and this is the year I'm taking back my power to be the most powerful weapon to enhance my self mastery. I lost alot but I've gained so much more. I am getting rid of people and things that no longer serve me!!
This was by far the best video ever. Keep it real Kev that's what I like about you. If he can't define the relationship he's just using you until something better comes along.
Watching this for my gorgeous ex who had an absent father and was used to being pumped and dumped by the players she was attracted to. I wasn't a player. Best to just walk away. Too much drama for me.
RIGHT! IS👏HE👏WORTH👏IT? Getting involved with an emotionally unavailable man will lead to distress, so he needs to show some kind of effort on his part. Don't just get involved with him because you want to change him, get involved because you can see he wants to change himself. GREAT TIPS, THANKS FOR SHARING!
I feel this whole thing. I have a friend a good friend I really love him , but he goes away for moments at a time. I thought 💭 because of our long friendship, he’d tell me when he was going off the grid.
By looking at this, it made me realize I have "Baby Bird" syndrome. Your videos are truly helping me evolve into a better person; thank you so much, Big Bro 🙏🏿 ❤ #NeededThisBigBroTalk ❤❤❤
My boyfriend is working on himself as I have been doing too. We don't claim to be perfect that's for sure and are doing the best we can together. I talk a lot to him and he texts or calls me first thing every morning, does little things to show he cares and is humane and loving towards me personally. I'm not used to this treatment and I cry. He said he's gotten help and doesn't claim to being wronged. Neither do I. For sure, if he wasn't working on being an even better guy, I'd literally run the other way! We're both runners by the way.
I was missing your videos because you haven't posted much lately but you came back with a vengeance and redeemed yourself 😂😂😂 Great content, honest, and straight to the point. Just how it needed to be.
*Dealing with emotionally unavailable men can be tough, but understanding how to navigate these situations is empowering. Let's value ourselves and seek relationships where our emotional needs are met.*
I was seeing a damaged man on and off... nothing serious.... it don't matter how many times I've blocked him... he still finds a way to get to me.... he's no good for me at all.. damaged 100%
Just continue to block and ignore any unfamiliar phone numbers and make your social media private. You need to completely ghost him until he gets the message. A man can't continue to harass you unless you are leaving a door open someway.
Geez I just got done dating a man who was bipolar, and used that as an excuse to be perpetually unhappy. He would call me to vent for hours whenever he was suicidal, I would suggest going to the park and he'd say " I'd rather rot" . I'd bring him ice cream, let him use my car, etc, and got nothing out of it. It's empty and I'm still healing.
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Rule # 1: Run
Rule # 2: Run far
Rule # 3: Run far far
Rule # 4: Run far far far
Rule # 5: Run far far far far
Rule # 6: Run far far far far far
Rule # 7: Just run!
Etta James this 😂🤣😂🤣
Yasssssssssss runnnnnnnnnn for ya lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
U got dui iud go date that ratchet ova there n stay da fk away from me !!!!!! Thank god for hypergamy !!!!!! Stay away from the dusties n psycho paths 😱😱😱😱😱
😂😂🙌🏽
Run Forrest run 😂
Trust me, you DON’T want to have ANYTHING to do with an emotionally damaged man. Unless you are a Psychiatrist, and getting paid by the hour.
Amen
Amen
They're selfish irresponsible and immature run and they only think of themselves but only the best psychiatrist in the world could help them Maybe....
Debbie Nabi end of the day money women are centered from emotion but men cant be emotional but have to love a woman in whatever condition she is in and heal and love her at highest capacity even if broken 😢
Lol
“How to handle emotionally unavailable men”
....you don’t!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yep, stay far the fuck away because they will damage you in return 😂😂😂😂
Queen D I agree.
@@Unapologeticallyme89 Girl...If the choice is between you and me, I'm choosing myself every time. Leaving these emotionally unavailable dudes in my dust 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️.
😘 Another good one Son,. My friend, and I were listening to your very encouraging, and motivating video about about how if you're not satisfied with your weight,, then do something about it, and we are. We are walking an hour and a half each morning and then off to water aerobics, for 45 minutes. Not only does my son help you guys, I want you to know that he is also my own inspiration 🤗. I am so very proud of him, and I would like, to thank all of you , for your overwhelming and awesome, support and the love yu have shown Kevin. Kevin is the best gift that God has ever give me.
Went through this shit... Gurl if he's emotionally unavailable, you better run for your life. The boy almost killed me giving me all kinds of heart palpitations and sleepless nights😓😢😅
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Me too
Same sis
😂😂😂😂
That's your own fault for choosing him
Me too
Dating these type of men is exhausting. One problem after another. I learned my lesson.
Yesss but I need to learn my lesson
Beautifulsoul 😭after this video you know what to do lol
Yes lesson learned!!
So Exhausting 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ Tell me about it🤣🤣🤣
Facts girl you not lying
“If he can’t overcome being damaged, let him go be damaged with somebody else”
Or by his damn self
Indeed💯
For real! Those men are crazy and they’ve got the worst trust issues
I dont understand these kind of men staying damaged then.
Hahaha
Ladies if you're in a one sided situation & not getting what you want out of the deal, walk away.
Yea,don't be less because he can't be more 🙏
Facts!!! Walk away with your held high!!
@@patriciaearley4177 Wow...so profound...and hit me deeply. Thank you for this reminder.
@@seapearltoo1 You are very welcome Happy Thanksgiving and best wishes for 2020🙏👌🍀🥂
Faxx 🙌🏻🙌🏻
LADIES WE ARE NOT A REHABILITATION CENTER!!! WE CANNOT CHANGE OR FIX HIM!!
Great advice
FACTS SIS... FACTS💯💯
And even rehabs can't fix a person who can't admit there's a problem to begin with...
@@jayjay1443 , Then stop putting yourself in those situations
Or a therapist!*🙌🏼
"Stop screwing men who ain't your man if you're looking for a relationship "!!👍
True talk 👌✌️
That's a good one.
Now that's some great advice 👍
Yeap exactly, just dont give him sex even if he brings it up
Thank you so much well said
Rule #1: Run.
Rule #2: Run faster
Rule #3: Run, and don't look back sis.
Lol
😂😂😂Kk sis
Dwl
Yes run sis!!
I dated a damaged man. He kept whining about why his ex wife left him. I can see why she left him. Always crying victim, didn’t want to find solutions, and wanted a pity party. Typical narcissist.
he may be a narc
Ebony Randolph I agree. He would say his ex wife was a narc. Typical narc behavior.
bignie823 I just met a man like that and after hardly speaking with each other I finally completely blocked him yesterday
April Rule Very good. You did yourself a huge favor.
OMG! They never want to find solutions, have a million excuses why they can't do this or that, and most of all will never, ever, ever give you a direct answer!
Unavailable means exactly that. Unavailable. The motives are irrelevant.
F$_&--king DEEP!😳
There’s only one rule...
*Just don’t.*
Yes ma'am!
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Dr Dermix Girl Bryson Tiller
Dr Dermix Girl Amen!!!!!!!!
On everything!💯✔
Focus on other things in life..Dont waste your time obsessing over an unavailable man....You will realize in the end that you just wasted your time, energy, tears and emotion over this man...
THIS^^^^😳
It sucks!
I don’t deal with men who show signs of emotional unavailability.. been there and it’s nothing we can do to “change” that.
Amen to that shit!
What are the signs?
Ballsy Bunny #1 sign is they do not invest any sort of emotion. Everything is sexual and somewhat robotic. #2 he will be inconsistent.. and throw mixed signals. #3 Everyone in his past is responsible for is inability to love, not him. This is just a few signs. #4 you plan the meet ups but they only happen on his time, you give and give and he gives just enough or absolutely nothing.
Truth
@@Pmatt1 Girl yes he has all of those signs
Married one of those, exwife was evil, but he failed to mention that he was the culprit of her actions. Guess what, he didn’t learn, I became his “evil” exwife as well. 🙄
great advice,
there,"s someone "out there" when you"re ready to accept better
Yes be careful, because a lot of men like this love to project their issues on the ex relationship, when all along they were the problem. Glad you got away
Lady Bug me too.
Thank you 🙏🏻
😵😵😵
YUP. "My ex was a psycho" - red flag. Little did you know that he made her like this 🤣👀
Real talk...don't let them spit that remedial ass game on you. Ladies work on developing tight cut off skills. You do deserve better!!!
Legit those tight cut off skills will save your life!
@@LS-cj8jd Yasssssssss🙌🏾
@Latoya M. I had guy that I was getting to know but I sensed he could be controlling. He made statements like why do you workout so much, why do you wear weave, it's bad enough that I have to win your grown kids over, now I got to get to know your dog too. So I simply texted him after one of his wyd text. I said hey handsome I think you are nice guy however I don't feel that I'm the woman you should be pursuing. I wish you all the best and take care. The key is cut that BS off early. I have several examples some not so nice. It depends on the person. Dude sent me a D pic. I responded with an even larger D pic that I got off line. Never heard from him again. Silly Rabbit😜
Nessa, you're so right girl! In these songs, I always hear guys spitting so-called " hot fire" in their lyrics about it being so easy for them to cut a woman off, while many of our lyrics are lovey-dovey, but we have to know when to turn the love off, and the power on.
@@doyoulovemecheckyesorno7000 Yassssss!!! We should never allow ourselves to be a "pick me chick"
1. Don't try to do/fix everything for him.
2. Don't try to be everything to him.
3. Observe his commitment to change.
4. If you're not his girlfriend, don't pretend to be.
5. Recognize the "I've been hurt before " b.s.
6. Don't settle for friends with benefits.
7. Avoid the scarcity mindset.
Traits of Emotionally unavailable men
"Let him figure his own s**t out"
"The main problem in his life is HIM"
I felt those in my soul! You always come through with a timely messages like the big brother I always wanted.
Ms. Perfectly Imperfect lol we got the same picture, I thought I posted this comment
@@lovelykeeya532 lol I was looking at my comments thinking my phone was acting up again 😁
You ain't never lied!! I had a guy that I recently dumped who's been asking me to insure a 🚗 car he bought with no driver's license lol .. Im like who does that?!!? ..He was so confident I would help/save him that he bought it without even asking me first..Boy! He was sadly mistaken! Im not your Momma/wife what do you think this is he tripping for real!! Lol😆
I told him your on your own dude.. You'll figure it out..maybe your dumb ass shouldn't have bought it in the first place knowing you can't legitimize it on your own😒
@@misschameazy6399 In the words of Bishop RC Blakes Jr. "You don't have a man, you have a son!" 😒🙃🤣
I've loved a damaged man for too damn long. He didn't have the emotional ability to love me back. He broke me into tiny peices and still begs me til this day to give him another chance. I ain't got nothing left to give this man, he took everything and drained me. Now it's all about me and learning to love myself again and fix myself! I'll never date a damaged man again.. I learnt the hard way they turn around and break you!
Most of these trauma’s are passed down from generations, etc how to be a man, men in this society in my opinion, are way better than the men from previous generations
This is me all day I loved a man for 23 years like this
Nah ain’t no handling for me...too draining. Unavailable ppl tend to be stuck in their past & pain which make them unresponsive to ur kindness & good intentions towards them. Been there...I’d say stay farrrr away but that’s me tho. Nice video as always Kev!😏
Girrrl you speaking the truth no chaser!!!👏👏👏❤
100%. I'm done.
U my new best friend😊 Thank you for puttin it out there
Felttt this.
Whew, I felt this on a spiritual level! I just dealt with this and it was draining af. Never again! Moving on to happiness 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
I just wanna say I'm proud of you ladies on here. It starts with the woman. If a woman don't change how she deal with the men. These guys continue their madness. Stay strong. U have too.
Very accurate lady. If we dont change attitude and priorities, relationship female- male want change. Spread knowledge.
💙
Completely agree
Precisely. We run this world, and need to work together to keep the standards high.
So true
This is the father talk that all young women needed to hear from their fathers.
I wish I would've heard this 2 years ago. I fell in love with a coworker (mistake #1!!). But he was "hurt" from his ex-wife and all that. I spent those 2 yrs trying to "heal him" and show him love and after all that I ended up broken and empty handed. NEVER TF AGAIN! But I'm grateful for my ex. He showed me how desperate and lonely I really can be and how I'll never fucking be again! 💯💯📢
Yesss!! That part sis!!
SAME!!! Dated my coworker for almost 2 years now and I wanted to show him all the things too. Heal him and show him what a real woman do. NEVER AGAIN!
💯
Omg I thought my situation was unique!! Good to know!!
Most of the time it’s probably not even the wife fault, he just played on your intelligence using his divorce.
It's far too draining!!!😒💔
Too draining😣😫😖
Tell me about it:(
Rule 1. Don't go out with him
Rule 2. Don't go out with him
Rule 3. Gurl don't go out with him
Rule 4. Delete his number
Rule 5. Date someone else, just not him
Rule 6. Drop him and move on
Rule 7. Didn't y'all hear me, DON'T GO OUT WITH HIM!
You're welcome 😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Needed this!!
I love the emphasize 😂😂😂😂
I used to hate dating but now that I’m dating again with guidelines and a purpose. I love it! My main rule is just to not take anything personal and to stick to my guns and know what I want.
A guy tried to pull that I been hurt before bs with me recently. And I told him we ALL been hurt like u need to just focus on making yourself whole again bc I’m not going to be smashing dude and wasting my time.
And u know what he told me...
It’s not wasting time if we both enjoy it. Like I really thought I was dumb AF and falling for the okie doke. I ghosted him and left him where I found him lol
Wow lowlife👎😶🤐
👏👏👏 I'm the same way I dont take anything personally when it come to dating I look at every guy as a coworker
Date with guidelines and a purpose, I think you could write a guideline for all women and sell it, girl! I do believe that we need to be moving with purpose as well, and just keeping things casual with men initially and not planning our weddings so soon, when it's usually not that serious.
Lmaoo sometimes you have to do that.
Damn did we date the same guy 😂
It's just like he says "I'm not ready for a relationship" No but you can text me half past twelve at night wanting to come over, huh? Ridiculess! "Don't sleep with emotionally damaged men or you'll be just as damaged" I was to the point where I got physically sick. Beware ladies, it can destroy you completely!
@@gingerfellah5665 Well one year later I can tell you he turned out to be mentally ill, narcissism and psychosis, he hears voices and have been committed to the psych ward. He will eventually have the diagnosis schizophrenia and he has been emotionally abusing me for 3,5 yearsincluding a rape. I have reported him to the police and applied for a restraining order. It will as all other reports in my vountry be closed without any reprocautions but at least Ive tried. He also moved in on the street next to mine after 5 months "a panic move, couldnt stay with my mother bc shes a manipuative bitch whos destroyed me".. Right, so I'm pretty fucked. Also Ive broken it off 11 times and he doesnt get it. He comes back weeks or months later as if nothing happened. And claims he cant remember all the horrible things hes said..I got so sick from the stress I had an episode of an autoimmune disease, heartfailiure, lost 8kg and half my hair from this. Hes a walking demon.
@@gingerfellah5665 Man, I can only imagine..These people are demonic.
Was too lonely and desperate slept with him n got pregnant and still lonely smh .. lesson learned!
I just don't, I'm tired. As soon as I realize the baggage outweighs the bounty, I'm done. I don't ghost or anything and I always let them know it is me, not them. I, however, am tired of putting myself back together after being hurt and then having to help someone else fix themselves also. Netflix and Postmates is looking really good these days.
Please be aware of men with mother issues. If she abandoned him, put her boyfriends before him, verbally abused him, or she died and left many unanswered questions why she neglected him just leave him. He has problems that has nothing to do with you and HE needs to seek help or you will find yourself forever chasing him and he'll always be running and you will be exhausted!
Amen Sis
When a man has an Abusive mom/mommy issues, more than likely he’ll be a Malignant Woman Hating Narcissist!
"His Astylist" 🤣.
Man I remember being the fixer. Maaaaan. I did all that you listed NOT to do. The pain I felt in that situationship, I told myself NEVER again will I do that!
I was ROLLIN on that one!!!! 😆😂😂 @Abundance26
@@traceylennon1204 what's even better is his facial expressions. Man I'm always cracking up like it's me and someone laughing 😄😄😄
Dont date them. Just be their friends. Thats all. Stop with that struggle love bs or that build a bear. Nahhhh...
I read this wrong! I thought you said “just date his friends” 😂
I cant even be their friend
@@Brianna-nc3og right I wouldn't even want to be their friend
@c1981 how about you all start caring for you all selves. Making sure you're good physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, spiritually, financially, and sexually.
Build a bear 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 favorite quote of the year 🔥
Dating damaged men:
Don’t !
When a Man loves you or is interested in you, you know it. You can feel it, it shows up in he actions whether damage or not. Like the man said, if it’s been more than a couple months and there No talk about a future? Then it ain’t one...
Ladies stop reflecting yourself in this damaged man, you will be damaged as well, love the man who is infront of you not behind you. You can't handle an unavailable man because he can't give what he doesn't have Love!!! He can give you anxiety and low self esteem.Thanks Kevin.
Sad!!😐
Why does this have to be true💔
preach my anxiety has skyrocketed so badly
“You cannot upgrade a guys character or intent”
PREACHHHH 🙌🏽
Yes, there are plenty of good men. That doesn't mean they're good for me specifically. Just being a good man doesn't automatically make him a viable partner. So it's a little more complicated than just saying, "there are plenty of good men". Although staying in a miserable situation with a man who also isn't qualified is not the solution, definitely better to be single and reconnect with yourself. ❤
godseed79 These good men have small dicks too. LOL
Girl, that is not what he meant smh read between the lines
@@sssinfullyyours haha!😄
Fuk'n Facts.I'll admit my exes were good guys...but not dating material...nor husband material when it came down to it.
Fell in love with a good yet emotionally damaged guy. He kept talking about how his exes dumped him, cheated on him, etc. He hasn’t moved on from anything lmao.
Girl tell me about it ! lol
“If you lay with enough damaged men, you will be as damaged as them...” Ladies, that’s why knowing, having, and owning your self worth is priority and key. You come first, you love yourself first and you keep that boundaries. Please.
You spoke nothing but FACTS! Its like I'm a magnet for emotionally unavailable men. God keeps allowing them to come in to see if I've learned my lesson or not lol. From taking psychology, personal experience, and research I know its all stemmed from my childhood. Abandonment issues from my dad not being fully active in my life. I'm in the process of retraining myself out of that. It's toxic and draining asf. And then when the men who are emotionally available shoot their shot, I would feel that they were "lame" or "corny".. BUT now I've been really attracted to those types of men. I have to force myself to be believe I am worthy of that type of love & attention and that there are good men out there. Don't judge me, I'm learning!
Damage people hurt damage people 💁🏿🙋🏿🤷🏿✌🏿
#CELIBATELIFE #WORKINGONMYSELF
I’m thinking about being celibate but my sex drive is very, very high. Any tips? I’m so tired of ain’t shit men.
Rachelle Goodwin ❤❤❤❤yes!
Hautenani play with it baby! Can't nobody make me cum like me. 😂 If you must play with it morning, noon and night... Do so. Lol I do that until my angels bless me. I'm so tired of the unemotional 1 minute men. 😢😂
To a point that I don't know y people date. I'm peaceful ❤️😍
👎
Nice tips Kev. First, things first ladies, your body is sacred, since this man is unavailable emotionally, you SHOULD NOT be available for him sexually or emotionally, until he can meet you halfway! An unemotionally available man hasn't healed his past, and as a result, his anger drives him, so he has to find a release, and he releases his frustrations out the most on the person he is in a relationship with. This is verbal and emotional abuse. You can do flips, cook, role play and etc, and it won't help the situation for the long term, you just add fuel to fire, the best course of action is to give him, a lamp to help him find his way back to the light, and some space to grow, and heal in hermit mode.
What I have learned from my experience in relationships with damaged people (both genders) is that - Givers need to have limits, because takers never do. Damaged people are takers -emotionally, energetically, physically. You don't help them by all your giving, instead you end up drained and exhausted - and they wont care! Nor will they be any less damaged by your giving.
💕💕💕💕
The truth no matter how positive you are & communicate effectively, they will still bring up negativity & expect you to share love to them they ain’t giving you
Thank you so much for that, you don't know how much I needed to hear that, now I just need to memorize that shit. Seriously you are awesome
FIRST RULE. Don't Date them!! Hurt. Wounded. Were Dumped. Payback is you. He will hurt you exactly like he was hurt
FACTS!!
I wouldn’t though I’d just try to be good enough-
@@Freespiritedqueen , I Agree. Thats What We Do
True
Is anyone else on the floor because of how good this video is?😩😩😩😩
I JUST walked away from something like this. Super draining and i deserve someone who is ready. I do not have to be the one to fix anyone or be the one to make him feel whole when that’s his job to do.
Exactly. It's his job to rescue himself!
I was one of these men. But someday one of these girls I was dating told me I should work on my self confidence. That made me think about it, do some research and eventually realize that I did indeed have to work on that. And it made me work on myself, she basically changed my life by saying that because I didn't know that that was my problem. What I want to say is: many man won't even know about themselves what their problem is. They aren't confident and don't build confidence because they don't know that that's actually the problem. You shouldn't date them indeed, but if you're planning to leave them I'd suggest that you could give them a 'hint' about what their issue might be so at least they have a chance to realize that and start working on theirselves.
Can be a lack of confidence, victim mindset, 'nice guy syndrome', and much more. But many of the men just don't know. (Just like women anyways)
Do you really think a woman just leaves a man she loves without a hint? I talked to my ex thousand times in 10+ years and he just didn’t want to admit it or work on it at all. I felt even lonelier than being alone, actually I felt dead inside and I left, never look back.
I wish you did this video 3 years ago. This video was so helpful, my ex is damage . His dad committed suicide when he was 16 and he had to be the one to identify his body at the morgue. His stepdad abused him and his mom and eventually kicked him out the house when he tried fighting him back when he was a teen. He joined a gang to survive on the street, but eventually he made it off the street and today he is a lawyer , but he has never gotten therapy for the trauma he went through. It really affected him. I tried several times to convince him to see a therapist he refused . I couldn't handle his toxic outburst s anymore and realised I need to do what's best for me leave . Thanks for the videos they've helped understand a lot about men now when it comes to dating.
@Eva Green Lover So sorry to hear what you've been through... I wish you all the possible strength in your life and certainly for being able to open up again to someone. I hope you will encounter someone that will be trustworthy, faithful, kind, understanding and patient. I can't imagine how hard it must be for you and especially the opening up to men who make you feel scared. Sending you prayers and love.. 🌼 I do know that there are a lot of different kinds of therapy, they may not be a solution, but I hope, if you do want to pursue that option, that it will work as an alleviation for you. ❤
I will pray for you. I’m sorry you went through this, you are a survivor. God bless you.
@Blue Eyes I am also a survivor of horrific abuse.i do understand , I do have a phobia of strange men, I have diagnosed PTSD and in trauma therapy, but I have a fear of men and I stay in flight or fight mode constantly.
When im around men.i get so tore up.i get panic attacks, but as for therapy,its all about the money, I've went tru several, and I'm still not 100% .
@@kimkilgore148 I am so sorry to hear about your challenges. How are getting on with the healing process? I hope you are doing great now. May I encourage you to also consider building a relationship with Jesus because He is a great healer. Are you aware that Jesus Christ loves you very much and deeply cares about you and you need Him? Please give Jesus a chance to love you unconditionally as your Lord and personal Savior ❤️
@@diplomatdiplomat2800 Jesus is a man himself. I don't do good with men!
How i used to be. But GOD🙌🏼 HEALing , empowerment, increase in spirituality, more blessings, a better me and definitely ALWAYS SELF LOVE YOURSELF 1ST✔ !
@Kirah Kane 😘👑💎✨🙏💅💃
That's the growth I am striving for....
@@jodian2986 you will . this practice is a daily thing tbh im still enhancing.
Amen!!!
Exactly. My favorite excuses:
-it is or was the wrong time
time
-I have a lot on my plate right now
-lets just go with the flow and see what happens
-titles make things weird
-everytime I tell someone I like them or open up, something bad happens
I-I want to take things slow (while trying to bumrush you for sex)
-we will commit when the time is right
-we will commit if you stick around (while they ghost you or push you away)
away)
-I haven't found the right woman yet (chances are you may not be her either)
-ive been hurt before and I dont wanna be hurt again (who tf does?)
-I know I promised you we would be official and you'd meet my mom. But that was last week. I changed my mind (and nothing drastic occured)
-youre forcing a committment (all bc you put your foot down and don't give in)
-we arent compatible for a relationship, but we are compatible for sex! Why don't we try that!? 🙄 Whiners. Foh with this bs
Everytime we needed to talk about problems or feelings, he ran away, so I heard the 2nd one a lot lol
These men are always changing their mind for some reason. And the second one is like "I'm busy". As if they suddenly became busier with their lives when before they were very responsive and sweet with you.
This video has me near tears. I am a brilliant, educated, talented, loving, and thoughtful woman who is currently in love with the exact type of man you describe here. The part that hurts most is I KNOW what I'm putting up with is dumb and yet I continue because I am so afraid there's no one else. Your insight on the scarcity myth is helpful because that's exactly why I'm allowing this. I'm gradually gaining the strength to break free. Thank you for this video.
u deserve the same as u give
Self love. Find your soul purpose. Healing is a grieving process. Mourn the old and all of the dead weight, people and outdated ideas you had about love. Change the pathology. Many times, attracting unavailable partners is the Universe way of showing us our own emotional injuries that need healing. Meditate. It will all come together for you soon. Wishing much peace & light!💫
You took the words out of my mouth. There will be no one else...
It's better to be alone, doing you're own thing, than being ghosted emotionally and physically. You're alone right now.
See you said it girl, I'm right there with you, exactly. What adds to my "being crazy" over this guy, is I'm starting to think that with all I've been thru, wich hell yeah made me stronger when I was younger. Has now taken its toll hell, I'm 50 years old now. I'm not as young as I used to be so ya know, back in the day I wouldn't have cared about this chump, but now. Shit.
I’m not perfect and I’ve experienced some draining relationships. So now I know better and do better. Ladies require a man to be “secure”. Secure, emotionally, financially, mentally and spiritually. If he doesn’t have at least these Qualities....run like hell ✌🏽
I definitely am a broken bird person not only with men but, also, with my female friendships. I've been secluded for a while not feeling well. At first my friends would call and periodically checked on me. Then recently I noticed that my friends had not checked on me for months. At first I was salty they hadn't then I thought well I hadn't reached out. So I have reached out a bit but you know I was there for them through multiple things and I guess I just didn't get the same back. Sometimes relationships are just meant to end if one person is the one giving all the energy. I'll wait to see if they just fade away.
Life tobelived me too. It hurts. I’m always giving, making sure I remember birthdays, always showing up. It’s not reciprocated, but leaves me with no one. So I continue.
Damn it’s not just me, my therapist told me I’m playing games with my silence... I call it claiming myself back.
Nai Char me too. I remind myself that I’ve gotta put myself first now and that’s how I’m claiming myself back.
I felt the same ,then I realized the problem was with me.
Never give expecting anything in return,it’s not a debt and it’s not fair.give because you care and because it’s who you’re.
I hope you're in a better mental space today!👸🏾💖
Well said. It’s our choice to be in a healthy relationship. We deserve a man that is willing to be a parter. True love should never be miserable. If a man is unemotionally unavailable, move on. You ARE NOT going to change him.
I was dealing with emotionally unavailable guy he burned me . Left emotional and mental scar..I learned my lesson no more psychotic guys with to much baggage ..emotionally unavailable but 🍆available.
Damaged men have been hurt one time and given up. That’s how weak they are. Instead of growing, they hold everything inside and are too d u mb to understand themselves and reflect
Hey! The first two minutes said it ALLLLLLLLLL!!! 🙌🏽 So many of us needed to hear this before we even started dating! 🤦🏽♀️
Preach! 🙌🏽 'let him go be damaged with someone else' 💯💗
I really enjoyed listening to your message- I was married to a emotional unavailable man for 36 years - You think I would Have learned from that shitty abuse-- well I'm in that rabbit hole again! It's about time I finally get information and knowledge that will finally lead me to my happiness -
I needed this video so badly a few months ago for the last guy I was with. I dated a good guy with sooo much PTSD and should've run once he asked that I trust him. He never cheated, but he dazzled me with his caring nature before he retreated back into issues, leaving me wondering where the hell that goofy, seemingly confident guy working on himself went.
Also, just a piece of advice from me, please dont sleep with a man UNAVAILABLE or AVAILABLE before you're married.
Body count matters , stop letting men stick it in you and LEAVE like you didnt exist.
On top of that, you dont know where these people have been.
They could be infected.
1000000% !!!!!!!
Real talk sis. 100% celibate now
I love this
Infected is right. There's an infection in their heart/soul and their body. Lol
Love that
I don’t think we should group all emotionally unavailable together.
Don’t overlook his advice that says observe your prospective partner and see if they take the initiative to do the work and continue to do it.
Everyone has been hurt and even damaged. Please point out the person who is completely emotionally in tact without a history.
What we want to avoid is people who have no self motivation and use people to fill voids they should be healing.
Women are taught to do the work for their partner because of some false belief we’re made to nurture and be someone’s comfort woman. Let go of that belief and you’ll start investing in relationships with people who do the same.
Basically I’m saying: listen to this video and listen to again.
I was looking for this comment. I've been dating a guy for a year and the long story short about it, he's going/gone through some pretty tough situations regarding his basic necessities (work,home,health and family). So I was in search of some advice to get me through the tough times but he absolutely is working on himself and I believe will bounce back better then ever. Its just if I am emotionally mature to understand he needs some time (we're talking a few weeks) and know this is not personal.
Potential isn't good enough to place my heart in your hands. If he's taking initiative that's great, he needs to take that time alone to do the internal work to heal himself. Oftentimes we get caught in the crossfire by waiting around on this "potential". If someone is unavailable he will not mentally be able to communicate, love, nor support you properly when you need it. So in the meantime, you are forfeiting the love you deserve. It will be a one-sided situation while you wait for that change. No thanks. I will wish you well and if I'm still available when you finally are, maybe we can try again. Eventually you will begin to question yourself, become confused and your self-esteem will decline. Literally ended a dating situation today because of those emotions while I tried to "wait" it out for almost the past year.
Hey Kev, Great Video. True Facts you stated!! Also men who don’t have a good relationship with their mothers or feel like their mothers neglected them in some type of way are hard to deal with also. They tend not to trust woman very easily.
Let them get through their issues. What is meant to be will be. Whether you like it or not.
Your timing with this is perfect. Thank you!
Yes!!!!!!⏰⏳🛎
Dating such a guy is like Covid-19. Everyday new cases 😂 I just left one real early in the relationship & boy did I dodge the bullet whew! 🥰
Lol 😂
omg hhahahhaha covid:))) so true
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for this video, I'm in a relatable situation where the man I have been seeing for 3 months has not been giving me his all. He's been inconsistent with plans and only sees me when it's convenient for him. We have great chemistry and dynamics, however he has unresolved strings from his past keeping us from advancing. I took a month apart from him to rethink our "relationship" and I come to the realization that it will never go anywhere and he's comfortable with how things are. I don't have the time to nurture and build a man. He needs to want to work on his unresolved issues before being with anyone.
This video is on point!! But same goes for us too! don’t mislead someone just because you don’t want to be alone, in revenge to someone else or you need financial support. People nowadays are so much in need of emotional support or financial support that have them stay I’m toxic relationships.. being emotionally and financially independent is a skill we all most need to learn.
natalia escobar yep cause a lot of people are looking help not love
Yes sis, this guy I met on bumble 🙄ikr.. we talked met for lunch
He knows i'm buying a home and i'm very financially set. His house burnt down long story short I asked if he was going to get a new home and he said yes i will. Then his talking About me and him being together like relationship. Well then he starts telling me what house i should get. Oh hell no.... he said u should move near me get a home with land and a workshop I could work on my cars there.
I quickly said well what's the news on ur home u found anything? No not yet no sir no sir.. then another day I met his son who is 17 and his son asked about what kind of house i'm trying to get. 🤷🏽♀️ r u asking that? So his dad quickly responded hopefully my us. I said well have u been looking for a home for u? I'm not sure when i'm moving. He said no I haven't I think i'm going to live with my mom a lil longer. I hope he don't think i'm moving him in hello no.. that's mine only I need to meet me half way with at least having your own stuff
@@senoraespinosa6176 You would have needed to ask more questions if you were still interested. He was treating you like the golden ticket. Why he told his sone about you is definitely questionable. That is why I am staying single cause it is all a game for some
@@senoraespinosa6176 BLOCK HIM AND RUN
Thank you so much Sir for this video. I was just talking to God about this and asking him to show me the way to break this pattern.
@@NewYorkNadia Thank you. I appreciate the thoughfulness and the help.
@@zuphurialoveriecutscoupons me too..I'm way too nice.
Self love. Find your soul purpose. Healing is a grieving process. Mourn the old and all of the dead weight, people and outdated ideas you had about love. Change the pathology. Many times, attracting unavailable partners is the Universe way of showing us our own emotional injuries that need healing. Meditate. It will all come together for you soon. Wishing much peace & light!💫
@@43cassy Amen and beautifully said.
Thanks for this! I've just entered into a FWB with a guy who says he doesn't want a relationship because he's damaged from his past marriage. It's not felt right to me. You've just convinced me to throw him to the curb! I can tell its going to mess me up and it's the last thing I need. If he wants me, he needs to do the right thing.
You can’t fix a damaged man. He’s broken . Find a refreshing relationship
Heard that same sh** before, thanks for verifying my exact thoughts. I love me some me and this is the year I'm taking back my power to be the most powerful weapon to enhance my self mastery. I lost alot but I've gained so much more. I am getting rid of people and things that no longer serve me!!
This was by far the best video ever. Keep it real Kev that's what I like about you. If he can't define the relationship he's just using you until something better comes along.
Watching this for my gorgeous ex who had an absent father and was used to being pumped and dumped by the players she was attracted to. I wasn't a player. Best to just walk away. Too much drama for me.
Last man I tried to get to know said he was damaged goods.He was hurt.I was hurt too...I got over it.
At least he was honest about it, so you could walk away.
dnw75 not really, that just their justification
@@bubbles1978 Just tell me. I'm not going to invest in you outside of sex. Smh. I hate how much I settled smh
RIGHT! IS👏HE👏WORTH👏IT? Getting involved with an emotionally unavailable man will lead to distress, so he needs to show some kind of effort on his part. Don't just get involved with him because you want to change him, get involved because you can see he wants to change himself. GREAT TIPS, THANKS FOR SHARING!
My pleasure 😇
“And do not collect $200 dollars lol,” this statement had me rotfl 😂. Great video as always, honest and straightforward! No chaser....
What's that mean?
Been there done that. I just don't have that type of time, nor do I want that type of assignment🤣🤣
Ladies leave the broken winged bird alone 💅🏾
I feel this whole thing. I have a friend a good friend I really love him , but he goes away for moments at a time. I thought 💭 because of our long friendship, he’d tell me when he was going off the grid.
I’m hollering at the side notes 😂😂😂.
Should not Allow the damaged woman to mess over the good man. Too
I always believe mother and son's relationship is so important. Same way as how men see women and their father.
I won’t dare. It’s a matter of time wasting and energy draining
This was a tough listen
Dude I’m on of those men. And it makes me feel bad for her and myself. Ugh.
I hope u find the strength to make things better. Good luck and god. Bless u
Why do you choose to remain unavailable. Why not choose to change?
You give the best advice! I'm blown away how at my age (60) I'm STILL learning about love...growing up without a dad to school me sucked!
By looking at this, it made me realize I have "Baby Bird" syndrome. Your videos are truly helping me evolve into a better person; thank you so much, Big Bro 🙏🏿 ❤
#NeededThisBigBroTalk ❤❤❤
My boyfriend is working on himself as I have been doing too. We don't claim to be perfect that's for sure and are doing the best we can together. I talk a lot to him and he texts or calls me first thing every morning, does little things to show he cares and is humane and loving towards me personally. I'm not used to this treatment and I cry. He said he's gotten help and doesn't claim to being wronged. Neither do I. For sure, if he wasn't working on being an even better guy, I'd literally run the other way! We're both runners by the way.
Now this some good stuff right here!! Got me all the way together!
Blessing for the straight REALNESS Brethren 🙏🏽 🙏🏽 the empowerment is gold!
I was missing your videos because you haven't posted much lately but you came back with a vengeance and redeemed yourself 😂😂😂 Great content, honest, and straight to the point. Just how it needed to be.
Hey im an amber J too ha
*Dealing with emotionally unavailable men can be tough, but understanding how to navigate these situations is empowering. Let's value ourselves and seek relationships where our emotional needs are met.*
Awesome advice!!! Been there ( broke all 7 rules) and was miserable 😖 i am happy now BY MYSELF!
bigjayking24 thats all behind me!
Hurt people hurt... 🤔 😕
This happens with or without a relationship
I was seeing a damaged man on and off... nothing serious.... it don't matter how many times I've blocked him... he still finds a way to get to me.... he's no good for me at all.. damaged 100%
Just continue to block and ignore any unfamiliar phone numbers and make your social media private. You need to completely ghost him until he gets the message. A man can't continue to harass you unless you are leaving a door open someway.
He might be a Narcissist.
Geez I just got done dating a man who was bipolar, and used that as an excuse to be perpetually unhappy. He would call me to vent for hours whenever he was suicidal, I would suggest going to the park and he'd say " I'd rather rot" . I'd bring him ice cream, let him use my car, etc, and got nothing out of it. It's empty and I'm still healing.
You ain't gone heal him with no 🐱...🤣🤣🤣🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯🎯
“get your weak ass outta here” I love this guy what he says is so strait up it’s facts. We need to hear this shit
Lmao! "Or call Tyrone" I love the Erica Badu references. Solid video and advice as always.