Self-destructive Narcissists and Psychopaths

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  • Опубліковано 23 сер 2024
  • Counselling with Sam Vaknin or Lidija Rangelovska (or both) www.narcissisti...
    Forms of self-defeat and self-destructiveness:
    Constricted life
    Self-denial
    Depression
    Numbing
    Dissociation
    Masochism
    Insecure attachment
    Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 90

  • @OlympianVenus
    @OlympianVenus 10 місяців тому +43

    Sam Vaknin has helped me through very sad moments. He explains things like no one.

  • @NicNicole808
    @NicNicole808 Рік тому +114

    By far the most intelligent, knowledgeable, and engaging person I follow. I never stop learning from Sam Vaknin.

  • @SMA57880
    @SMA57880 2 роки тому +55

    You get more entertaining with each passing year, lol. Love your humor..... I started watching you back in 2014 and you continue to educate me like no other. The interview with Richard Grannon about the idealization / devalue phase and how it relates to the unconditional love of the mother is absolutely brilliant, and spot on. Thank you for helping us to understand and heal.

  • @jesusloveisthegreatestpower
    @jesusloveisthegreatestpower 2 роки тому +128

    I survived 7 suicide attempts as an adult, and contemplated suicide as a child many, many times. I am extremely self destructive but still here at the age of 41.

    • @jesusloveisthegreatestpower
      @jesusloveisthegreatestpower 2 роки тому +6

      @@AnnA-tu3ig Thank you Ann, I am still here :-) hope you are well.

    • @Tarotcooks
      @Tarotcooks 2 роки тому +5

      You're meant to be here 😊

    • @jesusloveisthegreatestpower
      @jesusloveisthegreatestpower 2 роки тому +7

      @@Tarotcooks thank you, I've been told that but can't figure out why I am here. These days, I live a very solitary life because most of it has been insane and difficult. I am the happiest I have ever been, wish I had a good husband to share my happiness with. Hope you are blessed and happy with your own life. 😊

    • @jesusloveisthegreatestpower
      @jesusloveisthegreatestpower 2 роки тому +3

      @@NMTDelightfulMusic I've done mantras and affirmations for years and no longer need to. Medicine and psychiatric care helped the most. Thank you for the suggestion though 🙏🏼

    • @jesusloveisthegreatestpower
      @jesusloveisthegreatestpower 2 роки тому +5

      @@NMTDelightfulMusic yes, it helped in the past but these days (for the last 2 years anyway), I have the mental inner peace due to getting proper help from psychologists and psychriatrists. While I did get help from new age, spiritual books, it was ultimately modern psychiatic care and medicine that helped heal the most. The other stuff helped but I would always go back onto the hamsters wheel. It was a temporary soother but no real healing happened until I got real help from modern medicine. All the best to you.

  • @lightseba
    @lightseba 2 роки тому +11

    Most people mistakes the narcissist ego trip with self love!
    The hardest thing to do ,is to remind them to love themselves all the time!
    Thanks for sharing 🙏

  • @anebauer9249
    @anebauer9249 2 роки тому +23

    Thanks Sam. I am so massively grateful for your truthfulness. Bless you!

  • @susiebachez
    @susiebachez Рік тому +8

    The way you have layered out can transform, transmute anyone!
    It is an awakening, a feedback, a reflection and the realization of what we never were. Thank you Sam.

  • @strictlyhighvibe
    @strictlyhighvibe 2 роки тому +11

    Thank you "Father" Sam for all your lectures of impacable wisdom. Although I abandoned religions knowingly about 30 years ago, I´m happy to visit your channel almost every day,
    To quote a song from the 90s:
    This is my church
    This is where I heal my hurt...

    • @cornell753
      @cornell753 2 роки тому

      “Father” Sam? Be careful High Vibes, parentification is linked to disorders as well.
      Sam is not a god nor father, and if he were, neither he nor any other god or father knows best.

  • @shanelaing3464
    @shanelaing3464 10 місяців тому +6

    Thank you for the brilliant lecture Sam, I'm learning so much for your wisdom.

  • @FedericaBressan
    @FedericaBressan 3 місяці тому +9

    This strikes me as the most brilliant lecture I have ever heard on the topic. Kudos.

  • @lingrajbpattur7777
    @lingrajbpattur7777 2 роки тому +48

    I have survived narcississtic abuse by my wife…even after 3 years of No Contact still I feel revengeful becoz she is hurting my children by alienating them from me and sabotaging their childhood .
    Why are there no laws to identify such narcissists and isolating them from healthy people when there is so much researched evidence of such disorders.Police and courts did not act on my complaint of my wife’s NPD…
    Thanks sir your videos are great n life saving
    Namaste from India 🇮🇳

    • @oscarvazquez869
      @oscarvazquez869 2 роки тому +14

      I can identify completely with your comment, it seems to me that removing the fathers physically and emotionally from their children is the best interests of this society, they also want to destroy the fathers so they don’t come back , it’s about money and control, they don’t care about the kids but use them . It’s sad !!!!!

    • @amyedwards1215
      @amyedwards1215 Рік тому +8

      Every psychopathic, narcissistic, abusive father is claiming his ex is a narcissist and has alienated him from the children.

    • @chad7789
      @chad7789 Рік тому

      She's grooming your kids to be pathological lying narcissists just like her.

  • @sandramadrigal6320
    @sandramadrigal6320 2 роки тому +7

    it sucks youtub is spamming these valuable videos with 5 minute commercials every 10 mins. It makes it so hard to follow.

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  2 роки тому +12

      Click on the Skip Ad button.

  • @fivenighsatgirls3291
    @fivenighsatgirls3291 2 роки тому +14

    charming and full of humor, great Sam Vaknin

  • @tryingnottobeafallenorforg4029

    it feels like shit when you were at the top then you have so much anxiety you can’t go outside

  • @josegonzalez-np7oz
    @josegonzalez-np7oz 2 роки тому +6

    Ur work will change the world !! I did not realize I had done tht thank you

  • @shawn1582
    @shawn1582 2 роки тому +21

    If I'm saying yes to a lot of these things, and manically laughing, I think its a step in the right direction... I've been there. Its a dark reality to live in

  • @boblee2682
    @boblee2682 2 роки тому +23

    I hope you see this would you please make a video helping young men who are recovering from narcissistic abuse from there fathers

    • @noweifog5011
      @noweifog5011 2 роки тому +5

      Seconding this

    • @chris-vo1nh
      @chris-vo1nh 2 роки тому +7

      No Contact was solution at 58 , my mental health and life is be much better , work on self work , awareness live the kindness best life your can

    • @boblee2682
      @boblee2682 2 роки тому +2

      @@chris-vo1nh thank you very much

  • @robertcocozza1720
    @robertcocozza1720 Місяць тому +1

    This is such an insightful lecture - not exactly good news but better to grasp the nettle of truth. (Happy to contribute in this way to Sam's narcissistic supply - he provides us with more meaningful stuff in earning it, that's for sure.)

  • @zarinabostan7753
    @zarinabostan7753 2 роки тому +2

    This lecture is so intense. I had to stop and will come later again.

  • @AlisonMgggg
    @AlisonMgggg Рік тому +6

    "enjoys being envious of others" 24:15 😳

  • @SB-zk9dn
    @SB-zk9dn 2 роки тому +4

    Wow Sam Vaknin, thanks for that direct hit, brilliant.

  • @nin3755
    @nin3755 Місяць тому +3

    Such a relief from the click bait trash

  • @TH-vj1pt
    @TH-vj1pt Рік тому +3

    One of the most excellent of your videos. Thank you.

  • @andrewcerrone4096
    @andrewcerrone4096 Рік тому +3

    Amazing video you are helping me so much thank you

  • @sitascott8446
    @sitascott8446 2 роки тому +5

    I appreciate your covering these topics.

  • @Dominatorforex
    @Dominatorforex Місяць тому +2

    No one willing to do hard work any more. Check out how everyone is looking for easy money.
    How can we expect people to work on themselves if they trying to escape any hardship in reality by all costs.
    Mental sickness grows directly from how much free time you have on your hands.
    If you don’t occupy your mind with activities that help others to live better lives then your life will become more difficult to the point of failure and mental illness.
    This is clearly seen from inmates experience if you get locked up for very long periods and you just sit there with nothing to do, you will get mentally unstable and ill.
    The only way to avoid is to keep your mind occupied with useful activities- books, crafts etc.

  • @yourpetyourway
    @yourpetyourway 10 місяців тому +2

    My narcs are ALL family members and I'm suing them over my grandpa's will. I'd like to hear more about narcissists who aren't man and wife.

  • @user-ff1oi7uh8t
    @user-ff1oi7uh8t 2 роки тому +11

    Моя любовь Сем Вакнин!

  • @alisawinn171
    @alisawinn171 Рік тому +4

    You have saved me from my own sense of well being, as toxic as could be. Thank you.

  • @kim_yong_un
    @kim_yong_un Рік тому +9

    My narc is selfdestructive, it’s hard to deal with. I’m so tired of trying to support him through his own stupidity. He’s an alcoholic, it makes it all unbearable.
    His bordie mom endulges him in opportunistic behaviour and expects me to do the same; i do believe now she doesn’t really want him to heal.
    She just wants him to remain dependant on her to control all aspects of his life. And he wants to keep his mommy around to buffer the consequenses of his behaviour. He recently started using her as a weapon against me. I know she’s not stupid and it seems to give her pleasure to degrade me. I started keeping distant from her, i am pondering how to deal with him and their situationship.
    Their relationship and dynamic is quite unhealthy.
    My respect for his mother and their “bond” is ruined, i remain polite but i start feeling disgust.
    I need to stay away from this freakshow.

    • @chad7789
      @chad7789 Рік тому +2

      Get away! Mommy/son narcs feed off each other's bull shit, niether will ever accept responsibility for anything they do. Pathological liars both of them.

    • @DevoidVoid
      @DevoidVoid 22 дні тому

      Sounds like youre the narc deflecting and in denial, and are devaluing your object rn. Youre the problem 🤷

  • @boblee2682
    @boblee2682 2 роки тому +5

    thank you for your videos

  • @mcfarlinllp8376
    @mcfarlinllp8376 Рік тому +4

    If you think you know, you don’t, the female somatic ex who goes through self destruction can not be understood by a normal person, be grateful you are not in this situation and know it could be worse

  • @Tarotcooks
    @Tarotcooks 2 роки тому +5

    Very intelligent guy 👍

  • @mariabolla5032
    @mariabolla5032 7 місяців тому +1

    Thank you Sam.

  • @trutilldef
    @trutilldef 2 роки тому +6

    Can you talk more about interpersonal hostility and interpersonal offensiveness?

  • @active96
    @active96 8 місяців тому +3

    Deep down they know who did what and that's all i care about

  • @stixsta6007
    @stixsta6007 2 роки тому +2

    This public trial is the first time, since experiencing first hand narcissist behaviour and its impacts, which your self and Mr Grannon were most helpful in exiting. Taking away the celebrity aspect, it's been a weird education in law, because thankfully I never had to take the stand. What an experience that would have been, who knows?

  • @JoseCastro-nr8pm
    @JoseCastro-nr8pm 2 роки тому +5

    Make one on silent treatment

  • @itsamerrylife9128
    @itsamerrylife9128 2 роки тому +5

    Victimhood does not only belong to the narcissist does it?

  • @renee4882
    @renee4882 2 роки тому +4

    They decline truth and reality.

  • @spencilvania
    @spencilvania 2 роки тому +8

    stop calling me out, man lol. jk, good to see you, sir

  • @chillywilly4126
    @chillywilly4126 2 роки тому +2

    Timely topic

  • @truthteller1973
    @truthteller1973 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you💜

  • @annamariagoldschmied2592
    @annamariagoldschmied2592 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you!

  • @tryingnottobeafallenorforg4029

    i have done the cycle 6 times and it’s hard to let go

  • @tryingnottobeafallenorforg4029

    how do you stop this downfall everything you say is right.. how do you stop from losing touch with reality

  • @Dailyprophet777
    @Dailyprophet777 Рік тому +2

    So how does one stop punishing others because they are not meeting ones needs Sam Is there a way out of this because its only stopping my growth?

  • @user-ff1oi7uh8t
    @user-ff1oi7uh8t 2 роки тому +5

    Это правда

  • @matthewolson3309
    @matthewolson3309 2 роки тому +3

    Interesting all the way through ,if you could disguise the title it could be a Hallmark movie. But it seems to be working I’ve seen over 90% of your stuff. Your almost family.

  • @JoseCastro-nr8pm
    @JoseCastro-nr8pm 2 роки тому +2

    Thank you Dr. Vaknim I used your teachings in my school assignments as white people used paprika

  • @alisongreene2354
    @alisongreene2354 Рік тому

    Did I hear you correctly when you said there is no such thing as emotional flashbacks? So you disagree with Pete Walker? Can you do a video on your claim?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  Рік тому +3

      Can you search the channel?

  • @mauj2844
    @mauj2844 2 роки тому +3

    Prof Vaknin one question, can a secondary psychopath become a primary psychopath via mortification / collapse and other way round? Cheers!

  • @JoseCastro-nr8pm
    @JoseCastro-nr8pm 2 роки тому +2

    Does you tube has a better Boton than like?

  • @yasmineelmarini345
    @yasmineelmarini345 Рік тому

    Being in an comfortzone means feeling pain🤯 how

  • @chiliart8056
    @chiliart8056 2 роки тому

    This sounds like me.

  • @RalucaDit
    @RalucaDit Рік тому

    Why in the adult relationship the narcissist doesn t give anything in return for the love and affection, if it is transactional? thanks

    • @alisachaise3
      @alisachaise3 Рік тому +4

      Control he did what he needed to hook you and believe he no longer needs to anymore onto the devaluation stage then discard

    • @HerbertGoldstein-gy3gy
      @HerbertGoldstein-gy3gy 7 місяців тому

      @@alisachaise3 dont borderlines do the same?

    • @AnimosityIncarnate
      @AnimosityIncarnate 4 місяці тому

      ​​@@HerbertGoldstein-gy3gy no, but bpd can be co-morbid.
      Only narc/psychopaths discard 🤷
      BPD is more likely to be extremely anxiously needy, like Cover narcs.

    • @sharonmcclintock6727
      @sharonmcclintock6727 25 днів тому

      Both narc and psych disgard. But a psych will leave after a long term relationship...or a short one...no matter, as a theif in the night. It was just a fantasy and you have only played a role in it. No more. The narc may leave like a theif in the night. But a psych will have no issue with you waking up to them having just...gone. A narc will de-value you first. Psych...just disappears with no looking back or concern for you...ever. They are done. A narc...no matter his past behaviors, will in some situations attempt to hoover you back into their fantasy as a source of supply for them once again....another cycle. This is my understanding.

  • @Marta-ct6lr
    @Marta-ct6lr 2 роки тому +1

    XD love it to .... to listen about my ex-border-boyfriend how he is going towards all those things that will make him more and more incurable sth-being XD justice does exist