There's so much wisdom in judging people by their actions instead of their motivation. I slowly started shifting my focus away from making excuses for people's actions because I could understand what's behind some years ago. I'm still interested in their inner world and feel great empathy for their suffering but I set boundaries and don't allow them into my life anymore. It's been a lot of grief but now I start to see the positive effects on my health both mental and physical.
In relationships with the kinds of men I attract, I’m the little white bird that sits on the crocodile’s snout. The crocodile doesn’t want me to ask about all the other little birds who had sat where I did. I almost found out the way they did, but got very lucky. Several times.
indeed, i wouldn't call it "judge", because we're not in a court of law, but yes it's best to form an opinion about someone from their actions not only their words. Don't judge a book by it's cover, talk is cheap etc... are very true proverbs.
The only problem is actions can be invisible in the case of deciding not to do so again despite having already done so... I see I still need to hope Elon's neural link allows the inner worlds and intents of others to be shared openly or make my own because people decide against trusting or believing me and I don't want to be alone even if it's my own fault.
@@bethmoore7722I liked the way u said it.. sometimes the crocodile thinks itself as a bull who benefits the bird... Got lucky too twice.. the second time it was a scary crocodile very much.. makes me wanna ask god why god why??!? Then I realised the bird was ignorant and its to b blamed.. got wise moved one because the birds got a little bird to protect.
Thank you for opening up about your personal life and struggles. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to discuss your private life. Honestly, I don't care what your motivations are. I only care about what I have learned from your talks and how easy I find it to understand what it is that you are talking about. I have been following you in one format of the other for many years and you have helped me tremendously. Thank you!
I'm a 35 year survivor. First Narc 25 years in, committed suicide. Second Narc 10 years = I'm done, like a baked potatoe! I wish this information was around years ago, but better late than never. Thank you Mr. Sam, for spreading the truth. Since 2024, these videos have been my lifeline & education every day! I use them for strength & guidence. I just hope I pass THIS class.🤔 I just turned 60 & I'm praying I can bounce back one more time but this time for myself. I'm exhausted, pissed off and worried about my health. My body is trippin! I'm a dancer and know I'm still needed but the way I've had to endure for so many years, the way I've been treated is so not cool or fair. I feel like my heart is in a thousand pieces and wind gusts are up to 500mph!!! I still keep it moving though, like I always do. Please keep spreading the good word & know you are so appreciated 🙏🏾💜
Sam is a genius. To be at peace with your situation is amazing and inspiring . No matter who you speak with , your words are the most interesting to listen to
Prof. Sam, can a malignant narcissist encourage suicide in a partner? My boyfriend who I suspect a malignant narcissist, frequently refers to his ex girlfriend as being low on self esteem and cause of it committed suicide. I suspect seeing a sparkle in his eye when he says that and it sends shivers down my spine.
Thank u prof. Vaknin.. thank you u saved me alot of pain from which I was suffering in a marriage to a phycopathic narcsisist.. i was going crazy and thankful found ur channel and understood about this personality.. he was physically abusive and claimed to love me.. he hard a difficult childhood i empathise but moved on.. unfortunately we have a daughter and am worried for her life and future. Thank u again for doing what you are doing form the bottom of my heart.
I think the reason people fixate on the others' motivation is their own cognitive dissonance; which is in effect preventing full comprehension of their relationship with a malignant narcissist. You have been prey, sometimes for years by a well educated predator.
Thank you Sam. You are doing a Humanitarian work. To acknowledge understanding accepting and sharing facts and experiences for us to understand learn and protect us.
I love listening to these because it gives me insight to what I was married to for 16 years until I left him. Your videos give me strength, and you have described my ex to a tee when you describe the "False Self", it also makes my anxiety go through the roof, but it is worth it. Is it bad that there is a part of me that feels bad for him? I know secrets that no one knows and these stem from childhood. His mother who, I always called "The Matriarch" of the family, is narcissistic as well, I saw this from the first moment I met her!!!! It is so scary how I am on the outside looking in now, I'm so afraid for my children!!! Haha I refuse to be on dating sites, (I seem to attract a narcissist/psychopaths) I also removed myself from FB a few months ago because of these men. My ex portrayed this "shared fantasy," you described, up until 2 years ago he still envisioned us together. It wasn't until I exposed a video of him on social media of him sexually harnessing me then did he leave me alone only because he issued a restraining order on me, (he is a divorce atty. and turned it on me), he manipulated the judicial system and turned it on me!!!!! Its fine because we don't speak now, but because of you Prof. Vaknin I am building the courage to face him and the truth will prevail! I am that action that he is afraid of!
@saggitarius what a joke. Why do you publicly humiliate somebody and wonder that it backfires. Stop harassing him, instead try to heal yourself and even the ex-relationship (or leave it alone). He is a father who loves His children. He hast loved you for 16 years probably. Chill the f out and stop fighting fire with fire, what is the use but fuel for your own revenge plot wtf. I am not saying your ex might not be problematic or your divorce, nor that you are evil. But stop fighting fire with fire and Wonder that you are anxious when everything ist burning.
@@raversfantasy8873 Don’t assume he loves his children and don’t assume he loves me he also is a man who I just found out went to Thailand and Mongolia to sex traffic 13-year-old children do you want to open your mouth now!! Unless you walk a day in my shoes don’t you assume, and the only way people are going to be stopped is unless they are stopped by ppl like me who have a set of balls, instead of people like you thinking we should turn the other cheek in assuming. And has an FYI It was a great eye-opener when I found out the day of his hearing for judgeship, yes I did write a letter with proof in case you are wondering, several people came out invoice complaints some stayed anonymous because they were worried about retribution so stick that where ever you may ;) if you think people like Jeffrey Epstein because this is what I’m comparing him to should be allowed to walk the streets and treat people like this then you yourself need more help than commenting on Professor Vaknin videos!
@@lamentate07 Who knows why they’re attracted to me. I’m not the nicest person in the world, I’ll tell you that. Its like the meaner you are to men, more independent, successful and honest the more they want you, to me it’s pathetic!
The late Christian Minister Derek Prince explained the pursuit of Christian faith as “enlightened self interest”. Thank you, Dr. Vaknin, for sharing information that is woefully lacking in offices and treatment venues. Therapists practicing failure to treat is sending emotionally starving and neglected people into the population and producing tremendous damage without restraint or shame.
I don’t know what I am. I know I’m not great. I have no sense of self after being raised by very dumb parents. My entire life was crafted preventing disappointment from my parents until I was about 23 and I went from being their “perfect kid” to being so addicted to drugs and alcohol that I stunted all my growth and development beyond that for 15 years. I’ve been sober for 10 and have only now started seeing that most of my issues cane from an ingrained displeasure with myself and complete insecurities with any decision I make even today. I fell into a deep depression and kept it to myself because I was afraid to tell my family that I’m struggling with my past within our family. When my mental health cracked even further and I finally tried to tell my family/parents about it, they called me a sick individual if that’s how I felt about the way I was treated. I was called a victim, blame shifter, accountability skirter. I can’t help but wonder if I’m exactly what they think I am. It wouldn’t surprise me if I was an unaware narcissist.
So I'm about to add to your narcissistic supply Sam, and congratulate you on this excellent interview lol 😆. I live in New Zealand and only caught the tail end of this interview with Jim Mora on the Radio NZ. Thank you for posting this!
I LOVE YOU! Keep it up please! Me (37 year male), Borderline Mom, covert narcissist dad. My younger brother "fell pray" to a borderline chick 20 years ago. And me myself am just getting divorced after only 3 years from a covert narcissist, who even happens to be a psychiatrist (wanne be samaritan). I proclaim PD Bingo, am here to have fun (glad that I am still standing mainly!), and care for whoever wants help! Personally, my therapist has been psilocybin, your videos and subsequently loads of mental discoveries ! Your videos literally are Matrix-like reflectory experiences to me, as I insert the above mentioned characters and replay my life so far. crazyly well fitting! Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart!
Thank you for your presentations over the years they have helped me piece together events from my childhood and relationships. This was critical in helping me move on.
So absolutely clarifying for me. The simple details and comparisons helped me to "see" people in my current experience. I am a member of two 12 step fellowships; each addresses opposite sides of a coin. One includes individuals with at least narcissistic traits; the other includes those inhabiting the worlds of members of the first group. I legitimately belong in both groups. This video discusses the concerns of both...and adds a new perspective for me. Thank you very much.
Thank you, Sam! 🥰 Finding your website in it's early years gave me the insight I needed to find myself and to escape a nightmarish marital trap with a dangerously malignant man. Your work was very scholarly but I persisted because you were telling my story in a way that years of psychotherapy exploration never did. I am grateful for you and your current work, as well as for dumbing down your intellectual mastery of psychopathy and narcissism to help us students. It was hard to learn about my own culpability, yet that acceptance was truly the beginning of finding myself. It took years, I got duped more than a few times, however facing myself was the key. You are brilliant and deserve all the accolades, Narcissist or not!!!
What about the narcissist who is not charming but somehow through playing a victim through illness, real or feigned, is able to gain the sympathy of others while they are abusing a few targets and not only that but seems to have an entire community of friends or supporters? They seem like a psychopath but lack the charm and are abrasive. How do they have such a huge network of people who like them? Or is it that there's a ton of toxic people that are drawn into the narcissists circle? I don't get how a nasty guy with no redeeming qualities at all can have a large group of supporters like the one that crossed my path who is exploitive. All it took to anger this guy was for me to tell him no and to show him the error of his ways and tell him to leave me alone. He then did the smear campaign.
Principalitys and powers are over them they are slaves and easily used by higher forces or intelligence. They are at the disposal of malignant entities the whole lot of them they are similar to the mob, where there is compromise of values or belief or ignorance or that's what I've experienced in myself and what I've witnessed in others. The bible says " "we fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers spiritual wickedness in high places."
I need all of everyone's advice; I am dealing with a malignant narcissist sociopathic male. He is very sadistic and won't go away. Ignores restraining orders and I moved,but as my city is like a small town he just kept finding me. I am at the end of my rope. He has also infiltrated my support network. Thoughts? Advice?
I am so sorry for your suffering. Please move far away again, and notify NO ONE ..! Apparently, he has informants on you. Leave everything behind. Change all your devices that can be tracked. I wish you freedom, and Al the best.
This was really a fascinating interview.! I appreciate all the questions the interviewer raised: they were straightforward and sharp, yet not offensive. Although prof. Vaknin is always honest and open to share his own experience, I find this conversation reveals more about that how his personality and mind influenced his work., which is so precious and educative. I believe they are inseparable despite the professor's suggestion in the end of the interview.
… please, please *pleaaaaseeeee* would you do more lectures on psychopaths and malignant narcissists (psychopathic narcissists)professor? Pleaaase. This is just too good. As top of the field in many ways, your input would be both invaluable and potentially life saving. Please. Ok. I’ll stop. Your new haircut is growing out perfectly, by the way, Professor Vaknin.
Professor Vaknin have you researched the impact of narcissistic hacking, both during a relationship and especially the ongoing hacking when the person has gone no contact. It may not be the narcissist who is hacking but a friend assisting or someone employed. Evidently there are different types of hacking at different levels of sophistication and some can be very difficult to stop. Please do a UA-cam narcissism and hacking.
Hello, one of the occupations most infested and highly attractive for psychopaths and narcissists is orchestra conducting. I should mention the growing number of female conductors... the “baton” in their hand is very attractive to certain women.
Thank you. I only recently discovered you and I am going through your past videos and they are helping me to give a narrative to what I experienced as a child, but I am only able to take them in because I have done the work with my therapist, 6 years and counting. I see my mother now, her sister, and my sister and though I don't like it, it is there and I know it. I was lucky, I benefited from early positive attachment with my father and my aunts and I have a core self. And I get what that means now when my therapist says that.
Thank you!!! It has been great learning about your journey. I was not a fan of Jim. He sounded like he was projecting an answer he wanted to hear, and showed he did not watch your channel beforehand with some of the questions asked. Your content has been life changing. This video is valuable in learning about a small aspect of prof Vaknin as I have not been able to find much on Vaknin’s process and how he found cold therapy.
Thank you, Professor Vaknin, for helping me understand my ex. I admire the battle you held with yourself, and you became a light on to the lifes of so many people. No matter the reasons, matter the outcome of your wise decision. Is there any video of your wife giving tips to women that want to continue with their narcisist partner ? God bless you !!!
Professor, U R a fulfilled dream. Hundred Ninety intelligence, capable 2 teach us, capable of compensating...all great persons in history came out of impairment of sorts. U r my hero.
Dr Sam. I only discovered you yesterday and have watched a handful of your videos so far and intend to watch them all when I can. I would appreciate knowing what your childhood was like, which potentially caused you to become a narcopath Do you have a video or info on this available? My father was an alcoholic narcopath and violent, mostly to mum but also toward my older and younger sisters sometimes. His preference were the submissive types, like my mum and sisters. I’m like a tiger, a fighter, so he wasn’t violent towards me and the very few times he tried to be, I fought back and he backed off. I left home at 18 years of age. I’m aware he had a shit childhood in former Yugoslavia, so I can see how he would have become such an arsehole. Not that that excuses his abhorrent and diabolical behaviour. My ex husband and his fraternal twin sister experienced no domestic violence and had a relatively normal childhood, except that their mother died when they were young. The father remarried and had a son with his new wife, who is approx. 12 years younger than my ex. But my ex husband was a masterful, charismatic conman who destroyed my family financially, as well as other people’s lives and businesses. He managed to con highly intelligent people- property developers, bank managers, a lawyer, a doctor, the list goes on. He had been incarcerated at least three times for financial gain by deception, fraud, etc… The younger brother is a registered pedophile. I left my ex husband when I was pregnant with our daughter and haven’t seen him since 1997. His access to my kids was reserved by the Famiky Court. He didn’t even attend the court case. I heard a couple of years ago that he has 9 kids with various women. None which he gives a shit about. My daughter from my ex husband is a narcopath. She and my son had a very unstable childhood because they had to live with my parents so were exposed to my fathers violence even though he didn’t directly physically abuse them, they witnessed a lot of horrible shit. I had to work all the time, so had to rely on mum to look after them and even when I got them out of that house, we moved a lot, I had anxiety and depression and could never give my kids what every child deserves, properly or consistently. There’s so much to say but one day I’ll put it in a book. One day! I strongly believe that NPD and psychopathy is hugely genetic, based on my ex husband being a narcopath and his younger brother being a paedophile with no DV or trauma and my daughter who is alarmingly just like my father and her father. My daughter’s behaviour scares me more than anyone I’ve ever known in my life and I’m 56 now. Neither my sisters or I are any of those things, although I do believe I had some mild narcissistic traits when I was younger, which I nipped in the bud for the most part because I didn’t like them. I apologise if this is disjointed… I’m typing in the tiny box on my phone in the YT app and it’s jumping around all over the place. I hope you will reply. Thank you for your time.
Stumbled across your website and now this video. Apologies if some of these questions have already been addressed. I'm a woman with anxious-avoidant attachment who is diagnosed with generalized anxiety and PTSD (disassociative subtype). One behavior I have is I'm a curiosity junkie and ask other people a ton of questions about themselves to avoid attention placed on myself. Additionally, my response to trauma is total emotional disconnect. No empathy towards others or connection to emotion in myself. Who I loved minutes before I can observe them to be feeling extreme anguish and pain and I feel absolutely zero emotion and sympathy towards them. I "feel like a sociopath" is my colloquial description. Sometimes I can trigger it at will, not often. Outside of this trauma response I fully experience empathy, sympathy, and emotions though I'm still disconnected in the sense that I reach a point where I am unable to form meaningful relationships with people. Context given, my first question is: 1. Are narcissists (of whatever subtype) more drawn to certain people (fearful-avoidant subtypes, certain traits, etc.) for supply? I've always wondered how someone with my condition (endless questions yet total emotional disconnect triggered by any sign of rage/instability) and a narcissist would interact. 2. Do narcissists avoid/dislike some people more than others, and if so, for what reasons? 3. How do you feel/what do you think about the way that diagnoses are classified? Seems that a lot of criteria to diagnoses are unhelpfully vague and often overlap with other diagnoses. I would imagine that BPD, NPD, and paychopathy would absolutely overlap in many areas, for example. 4. Your thoughts on societal attitudes placed on narcissists? 5. You seem to define yourself more by the narcissistic label than by your other diagnoses. Why? Thanks!
Based on all your U- tube videos I suspect my husband has a malignant narcissism or psychopath or even Asperger’s. How he can be diagnosed professionally? What kind of specialist we need to see in psychology. Please anyone knows where to start.If it is a disease like Covid what is the treatment. Because as far as I know he is making all family members sicker then himself
Dr Sam thank you for all information about this theme its very important for us you are fantastic persone, I understand what you feel but is fantastic what you do , thank you .
Thanks for the detailed explanation of the cycle and the essence of narcissus in the previous video. Please explain how it is less painful for a borderline personality to separate from a narcissist and grow a healthy personality anew. Is it real?
Thanks Professir that you are there Its precious for us all no matter what your motives are You must have a kind heart because you have power to help people. It is super rare. I trust you. God bless you.@@samvaknin
Sam, brilliant as always. My question is if someone is both - or psycopathic narcissist- which personality traits do they express- since one needs supply the other doesn't .. how does that work to identify or is it variant. ( Narc needs others Psychopath doesn't.. what does the combo look like?
Via one of two state qualified diagnostitians, the mmpi and a battery of other tests, my live in ex of three and a half years (four if you include the last six months of an LDR death rattle) was shown to have the following: alcohol use syndrome, antisocial personality disorder traits, narcissistic personality disorder traits, histrionic personality disorder traits, turbulent style, adhd and some depression. Anecdotally, there were addictions, sex, p*** and amphetamines. In the past, video games and possibly gambling were addictions as well. The diagnostician recommended further evaluation, counseling for management of the adhd, etc. Yeah, he jumped right on that. Too bad, he'd make a great study case.
I think I found that she knew how much I love my children and my grandchildren so she was the control me through that being that my worth and she wanted to have it all or nothing and be value me to make me look like a bad guy! So I can be her of her lies! And for her to be me of all my truth and what I love of my worth of my
Incredibly interesting. Can you continue the discussion by creating further videos on the distinction between psychopaths, narcissists, borderlines, and narcissistic personality disorder? Can someone have elements of multiple disorders?
@@YukonFox1972 Yes, I have watched all of them but just learned from this video the difference between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. I also had a different understanding of a psychopath so I wanted him to elaborate more on the distinctions and if they can all overlap in one person.
Hey Sam, do you have a reading list or something like that for someone, who would like to build a more rigorous understanding of personality disorders, especially the cluster b?
Professor, what advice would you give to a young narcissist to live life in the most optimal way? I know that you suggested withdrawing from society/ avoiding others in another video but this is not possible for all cluster Bs since some have to make a living for ourselves and dont have financial support so what would you suggest?
The ex narcissist I was unfortunately involved with doesn't look after his dog 😢I recently saw his dog after 2 years and she was limping so bad I had to leave! I want to call neglect animal people.
Why not do a video about different cultures being narcissistic like Muslims are Islamic people Hindus Asians ? Cultures in narcissism makes a difference.
There's so much wisdom in judging people by their actions instead of their motivation. I slowly started shifting my focus away from making excuses for people's actions because I could understand what's behind some years ago. I'm still interested in their inner world and feel great empathy for their suffering but I set boundaries and don't allow them into my life anymore. It's been a lot of grief but now I start to see the positive effects on my health both mental and physical.
In relationships with the kinds of men I attract, I’m the little white bird that sits on the crocodile’s snout. The crocodile doesn’t want me to ask about all the other little birds who had sat where I did. I almost found out the way they did, but got very lucky. Several times.
indeed, i wouldn't call it "judge", because we're not in a court of law, but yes it's best to form an opinion about someone from their actions not only their words.
Don't judge a book by it's cover, talk is cheap etc... are very true proverbs.
The only problem is actions can be invisible in the case of deciding not to do so again despite having already done so... I see I still need to hope Elon's neural link allows the inner worlds and intents of others to be shared openly or make my own because people decide against trusting or believing me and I don't want to be alone even if it's my own fault.
@@bethmoore7722I liked the way u said it.. sometimes the crocodile thinks itself as a bull who benefits the bird... Got lucky too twice.. the second time it was a scary crocodile very much.. makes me wanna ask god why god why??!? Then I realised the bird was ignorant and its to b blamed.. got wise moved one because the birds got a little bird to protect.
This man knows exactly what he's talking about. Especially the way he is differentiating between narcissistic pd and psychopathic pd.
Thank you for opening up about your personal life and struggles. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to discuss your private life. Honestly, I don't care what your motivations are. I only care about what I have learned from your talks and how easy I find it to understand what it is that you are talking about. I have been following you in one format of the other for many years and you have helped me tremendously. Thank you!
I'm a 35 year survivor. First Narc 25 years in, committed suicide. Second Narc 10 years = I'm done, like a baked potatoe! I wish this information was around years ago, but better late than never. Thank you Mr. Sam, for spreading the truth. Since 2024, these videos have been my lifeline & education every day! I use them for strength & guidence. I just hope I pass THIS class.🤔 I just turned 60 & I'm praying I can bounce back one more time but this time for myself. I'm exhausted, pissed off and worried about my health. My body is trippin! I'm a dancer and know I'm still needed but the way I've had to endure for so many years, the way I've been treated is so not cool or fair. I feel like my heart is in a thousand pieces and wind gusts are up to 500mph!!! I still keep it moving though, like I always do. Please keep spreading the good word & know you are so appreciated 🙏🏾💜
Sam is a genius. To be at peace with your situation is amazing and inspiring . No matter who you speak with , your words are the most interesting to listen to
Prof. Sam, can a malignant narcissist encourage suicide in a partner? My boyfriend who I suspect a malignant narcissist, frequently refers to his ex girlfriend as being low on self esteem and cause of it committed suicide. I suspect seeing a sparkle in his eye when he says that and it sends shivers down my spine.
I’ve seen the sparkle in their eyes before. It is definitely narc
Thank u prof. Vaknin.. thank you u saved me alot of pain from which I was suffering in a marriage to a phycopathic narcsisist.. i was going crazy and thankful found ur channel and understood about this personality.. he was physically abusive and claimed to love me.. he hard a difficult childhood i empathise but moved on.. unfortunately we have a daughter and am worried for her life and future. Thank u again for doing what you are doing form the bottom of my heart.
Sir Sam, love how honest you are.
I think the reason people fixate on the others' motivation is their own cognitive dissonance; which is in effect preventing full comprehension of their relationship with a malignant narcissist. You have been prey, sometimes for years by a well educated predator.
I agree judge what a person does not what he says. At least that's truth.
Being smart is a blessing 🙌
I LOVE AND I APPRECIATE PROFESSOR SAM VAKNIN
Love your honesty
Brilliant interview by Professor Vaknin!
Thank you Sam. You are doing a Humanitarian work. To acknowledge understanding accepting and sharing facts and experiences for us to understand learn and protect us.
Profound take . Thanking you so much for educating us again. May you be blessed more 👍
Best video that breaks it all down so that most anyone can understand .
Professor sir sam vaknim you are a genius
I love your laugh. And I admire the huge amount of personal work you have done.
I love listening to these because it gives me insight to what I was married to for 16 years until I left him. Your videos give me strength, and you have described my ex to a tee when you describe the "False Self", it also makes my anxiety go through the roof, but it is worth it. Is it bad that there is a part of me that feels bad for him? I know secrets that no one knows and these stem from childhood. His mother who, I always called "The Matriarch" of the family, is narcissistic as well, I saw this from the first moment I met her!!!! It is so scary how I am on the outside looking in now, I'm so afraid for my children!!! Haha I refuse to be on dating sites, (I seem to attract a narcissist/psychopaths) I also removed myself from FB a few months ago because of these men. My ex portrayed this "shared fantasy," you described, up until 2 years ago he still envisioned us together. It wasn't until I exposed a video of him on social media of him sexually harnessing me then did he leave me alone only because he issued a restraining order on me, (he is a divorce atty. and turned it on me), he manipulated the judicial system and turned it on me!!!!! Its fine because we don't speak now, but because of you Prof. Vaknin I am building the courage to face him and the truth will prevail! I am that action that he is afraid of!
@saggitarius what a joke. Why do you publicly humiliate somebody and wonder that it backfires. Stop harassing him, instead try to heal yourself and even the ex-relationship (or leave it alone). He is a father who loves His children. He hast loved you for 16 years probably. Chill the f out and stop fighting fire with fire, what is the use but fuel for your own revenge plot wtf. I am not saying your ex might not be problematic or your divorce, nor that you are evil. But stop fighting fire with fire and Wonder that you are anxious when everything ist burning.
@@raversfantasy8873 Don’t assume he loves his children and don’t assume he loves me he also is a man who I just found out went to Thailand and Mongolia to sex traffic 13-year-old children do you want to open your mouth now!! Unless you walk a day in my shoes don’t you assume, and the only way people are going to be stopped is unless they are stopped by ppl like me who have a set of balls, instead of people like you thinking we should turn the other cheek in assuming. And has an FYI It was a great eye-opener when I found out the day of his hearing for judgeship, yes I did write a letter with proof in case you are wondering, several people came out invoice complaints some stayed anonymous because they were worried about retribution so stick that where ever you may ;) if you think people like Jeffrey Epstein because this is what I’m comparing him to should be allowed to walk the streets and treat people like this then you yourself need more help than commenting on Professor Vaknin videos!
@@lamentate07 Who knows why they’re attracted to me. I’m not the nicest person in the world, I’ll tell you that. Its like the meaner you are to men, more independent, successful and honest the more they want you, to me it’s pathetic!
How are things going for you a year later? Are you still away from the divorce attorney Ex?
The late Christian Minister Derek Prince explained the pursuit of Christian faith as “enlightened self interest”. Thank you, Dr. Vaknin, for sharing information that is woefully lacking in offices and treatment venues. Therapists practicing failure to treat is sending emotionally starving and neglected people into the population and producing tremendous damage without restraint or shame.
I don’t know what I am. I know I’m not great. I have no sense of self after being raised by very dumb parents. My entire life was crafted preventing disappointment from my parents until I was about 23 and I went from being their “perfect kid” to being so addicted to drugs and alcohol that I stunted all my growth and development beyond that for 15 years. I’ve been sober for 10 and have only now started seeing that most of my issues cane from an ingrained displeasure with myself and complete insecurities with any decision I make even today. I fell into a deep depression and kept it to myself because I was afraid to tell my family that I’m struggling with my past within our family. When my mental health cracked even further and I finally tried to tell my family/parents about it, they called me a sick individual if that’s how I felt about the way I was treated. I was called a victim, blame shifter, accountability skirter. I can’t help but wonder if I’m exactly what they think I am. It wouldn’t surprise me if I was an unaware narcissist.
So I'm about to add to your narcissistic supply Sam, and congratulate you on this excellent interview lol 😆. I live in New Zealand and only caught the tail end of this interview with Jim Mora on the Radio NZ. Thank you for posting this!
I LOVE YOU! Keep it up please! Me (37 year male), Borderline Mom, covert narcissist dad. My younger brother "fell pray" to a borderline chick 20 years ago. And me myself am just getting divorced after only 3 years from a covert narcissist, who even happens to be a psychiatrist (wanne be samaritan). I proclaim PD Bingo, am here to have fun (glad that I am still standing mainly!), and care for whoever wants help! Personally, my therapist has been psilocybin, your videos and subsequently loads of mental discoveries ! Your videos literally are Matrix-like reflectory experiences to me, as I insert the above mentioned characters and replay my life so far. crazyly well fitting! Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart!
Thank you for your presentations over the years they have helped me piece together events from my childhood and relationships. This was critical in helping me move on.
Thanks Doctor for sharing some of your more personal stories. I really enjoyed everything you had to say!
You have helped me. Thank you.
So absolutely clarifying for me. The simple details and comparisons helped me to "see" people in my current experience. I am a member of two 12 step fellowships;
each addresses opposite sides of a coin. One includes individuals with at least narcissistic traits; the other includes those inhabiting the worlds of members of the first group. I legitimately belong in both groups. This video discusses the concerns of both...and adds a new perspective for me. Thank you very much.
I just enjoy the clarity of the information!
Thank you for your honesty
Thank you, Sam! 🥰 Finding your website in it's early years gave me the insight I needed to find myself and to escape a nightmarish marital trap with a dangerously malignant man. Your work was very scholarly but I persisted because you were telling my story in a way that years of psychotherapy exploration never did. I am grateful for you and your current work, as well as for dumbing down your intellectual mastery of psychopathy and narcissism to help us students. It was hard to learn about my own culpability, yet that acceptance was truly the beginning of finding myself. It took years, I got duped more than a few times, however facing myself was the key. You are brilliant and deserve all the accolades, Narcissist or not!!!
What about the narcissist who is not charming but somehow through playing a victim through illness, real or feigned, is able to gain the sympathy of others while they are abusing a few targets and not only that but seems to have an entire community of friends or supporters? They seem like a psychopath but lack the charm and are abrasive. How do they have such a huge network of people who like them? Or is it that there's a ton of toxic people that are drawn into the narcissists circle? I don't get how a nasty guy with no redeeming qualities at all can have a large group of supporters like the one that crossed my path who is exploitive. All it took to anger this guy was for me to tell him no and to show him the error of his ways and tell him to leave me alone. He then did the smear campaign.
Principalitys and powers are over them they are slaves and easily used by higher forces or intelligence. They are at the disposal of malignant entities the whole lot of them they are similar to the mob, where there is compromise of values or belief or ignorance or that's what I've experienced in myself and what I've witnessed in others. The bible says " "we fight not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, powers spiritual wickedness in high places."
You aren’t dating my ex are you? Swore I was writing this!
One of the best interview!!
I need all of everyone's advice; I am dealing with a malignant narcissist sociopathic male. He is very sadistic and won't go away. Ignores restraining orders and I moved,but as my city is like a small town he just kept finding me. I am at the end of my rope. He has also infiltrated my support network. Thoughts? Advice?
I am so sorry for your suffering.
Please move far away again, and notify NO ONE ..!
Apparently, he has informants on you.
Leave everything behind.
Change all your devices that can be tracked.
I wish you freedom, and Al the best.
A very interesting interview. Thank you both.
This was really a fascinating interview.!
I appreciate all the questions the interviewer raised: they were straightforward and sharp, yet not offensive. Although prof. Vaknin is always honest and open to share his own experience, I find this conversation reveals more about that how his personality and mind influenced his work., which is so precious and educative. I believe they are inseparable despite the professor's suggestion in the end of the interview.
… please, please *pleaaaaseeeee* would you do more lectures on psychopaths and malignant narcissists (psychopathic narcissists)professor? Pleaaase. This is just too good.
As top of the field in many ways, your input would be both invaluable and potentially life saving. Please. Ok. I’ll stop.
Your new haircut is growing out perfectly, by the way, Professor Vaknin.
Excellent interview - a wealth of invaluable knowledge. Thank you, Sam!
Professor Vaknin have you researched the impact of narcissistic hacking, both during a relationship and especially the ongoing hacking when the person has gone no contact. It may not be the narcissist who is hacking but a friend assisting or someone employed. Evidently there are different types of hacking at different levels of sophistication and some can be very difficult to stop. Please do a UA-cam narcissism and hacking.
Hello, one of the occupations most infested and highly attractive for psychopaths and narcissists is orchestra conducting. I should mention the growing number of female conductors... the “baton” in their hand is very attractive to certain women.
I respect you and you are a winner because you understand your personality and give a oportunity to us to defense at the narcisist people
Thank you so much for this very enlightening interview and for your candour. Incredibly helpful.
Thank you. I only recently discovered you and I am going through your past videos and they are helping me to give a narrative to what I experienced as a child, but I am only able to take them in because I have done the work with my therapist, 6 years and counting. I see my mother now, her sister, and my sister and though I don't like it, it is there and I know it. I was lucky, I benefited from early positive attachment with my father and my aunts and I have a core self. And I get what that means now when my therapist says that.
Fantastic work and summary. Your work is a gift to us all Sam. I’ve learned so much from you bringing illumination into such a dark area. Thank you.
What are the distinctions and similarities between Psychopathy and Sociopathy? Would be amazing if you could conduct this topical subject sometime.
Thank you!!! It has been great learning about your journey. I was not a fan of Jim. He sounded like he was projecting an answer he wanted to hear, and showed he did not watch your channel beforehand with some of the questions asked. Your content has been life changing. This video is valuable in learning about a small aspect of prof Vaknin as I have not been able to find much on Vaknin’s process and how he found cold therapy.
Your description is so accurate
Thank you, Professor Vaknin, for helping me understand my ex. I admire the battle you held with yourself, and you became a light on to the lifes of so many people. No matter the reasons, matter the outcome of your wise decision.
Is there any video of your wife giving tips to women that want to continue with their narcisist partner ? God bless you !!!
Good 👍
Professor, U R a fulfilled dream. Hundred Ninety intelligence, capable 2 teach us, capable of compensating...all great persons in history came out of impairment of sorts.
U r my hero.
Dr Sam. I only discovered you yesterday and have watched a handful of your videos so far and intend to watch them all when I can.
I would appreciate knowing what your childhood was like, which potentially caused you to become a narcopath Do you have a video or info on this available?
My father was an alcoholic narcopath and violent, mostly to mum but also toward my older and younger sisters sometimes. His preference were the submissive types, like my mum and sisters. I’m like a tiger, a fighter, so he wasn’t violent towards me and the very few times he tried to be, I fought back and he backed off. I left home at 18 years of age.
I’m aware he had a shit childhood in former Yugoslavia, so I can see how he would have become such an arsehole. Not that that excuses his abhorrent and diabolical behaviour.
My ex husband and his fraternal twin sister experienced no domestic violence and had a relatively normal childhood, except that their mother died when they were young.
The father remarried and had a son with his new wife, who is approx. 12 years younger than my ex.
But my ex husband was a masterful, charismatic conman who destroyed my family financially, as well as other people’s lives and businesses.
He managed to con highly intelligent people- property developers, bank managers, a lawyer, a doctor, the list goes on.
He had been incarcerated at least three times for financial gain by deception, fraud, etc…
The younger brother is a registered pedophile.
I left my ex husband when I was pregnant with our daughter and haven’t seen him since 1997. His access to my kids was reserved by the Famiky Court. He didn’t even attend the court case.
I heard a couple of years ago that he has 9 kids with various women. None which he gives a shit about.
My daughter from my ex husband is a narcopath. She and my son had a very unstable childhood because they had to live with my parents so were exposed to my fathers violence even though he didn’t directly physically abuse them, they witnessed a lot of horrible shit.
I had to work all the time, so had to rely on mum to look after them and even when I got them out of that house, we moved a lot, I had anxiety and depression and could never give my kids what every child deserves, properly or consistently. There’s so much to say but one day I’ll put it in a book. One day!
I strongly believe that NPD and psychopathy is hugely genetic, based on my ex husband being a narcopath and his younger brother being a paedophile with no DV or trauma and my daughter who is alarmingly just like my father and her father.
My daughter’s behaviour scares me more than anyone I’ve ever known in my life and I’m 56 now.
Neither my sisters or I are any of those things, although I do believe I had some mild narcissistic traits when I was younger, which I nipped in the bud for the most part because I didn’t like them.
I apologise if this is disjointed… I’m typing in the tiny box on my phone in the YT app and it’s jumping around all over the place.
I hope you will reply. Thank you for your time.
What an interesting guest. ❤
Excellent stuff.. Sometime it seem the more I know about the subject the more confused about myself l am.. So interesting though thanks 🍁🍁
Stumbled across your website and now this video. Apologies if some of these questions have already been addressed.
I'm a woman with anxious-avoidant attachment who is diagnosed with generalized anxiety and PTSD (disassociative subtype). One behavior I have is I'm a curiosity junkie and ask other people a ton of questions about themselves to avoid attention placed on myself. Additionally, my response to trauma is total emotional disconnect. No empathy towards others or connection to emotion in myself. Who I loved minutes before I can observe them to be feeling extreme anguish and pain and I feel absolutely zero emotion and sympathy towards them. I "feel like a sociopath" is my colloquial description. Sometimes I can trigger it at will, not often. Outside of this trauma response I fully experience empathy, sympathy, and emotions though I'm still disconnected in the sense that I reach a point where I am unable to form meaningful relationships with people.
Context given, my first question is:
1. Are narcissists (of whatever subtype) more drawn to certain people (fearful-avoidant subtypes, certain traits, etc.) for supply?
I've always wondered how someone with my condition (endless questions yet total emotional disconnect triggered by any sign of rage/instability) and a narcissist would interact.
2. Do narcissists avoid/dislike some people more than others, and if so, for what reasons?
3. How do you feel/what do you think about the way that diagnoses are classified? Seems that a lot of criteria to diagnoses are unhelpfully vague and often overlap with other diagnoses. I would imagine that BPD, NPD, and paychopathy would absolutely overlap in many areas, for example.
4. Your thoughts on societal attitudes placed on narcissists?
5. You seem to define yourself more by the narcissistic label than by your other diagnoses. Why?
Thanks!
Grateful...
Based on all your U- tube videos I suspect my husband has a malignant narcissism or psychopath or even Asperger’s. How he can be diagnosed professionally? What kind of specialist we need to see in psychology. Please anyone knows where to start.If it is a disease like Covid what is the treatment. Because as far as I know he is making all family members sicker then himself
Dr Sam thank you for all information about this theme its very important for us you are fantastic persone, I understand what you feel but is fantastic what you do , thank you .
Thanks for the detailed explanation of the cycle and the essence of narcissus in the previous video. Please explain how it is less painful for a borderline personality to separate from a narcissist and grow a healthy personality anew. Is it real?
Can a person be narcissistic,sociopathic ,and vulnerable all at once? Or is the vulnerable narccissim an act?
Good question
I found the more that I forgave her and tried to work with her she found it more exhausting for her to be with me!
Good insight
So are narcissists living in solitude?!!! They must be in a relationship or they'll die of loneliness?
No, the opposite they are rarely ever alone. They need narcissistic supply via relationships.
❤can a person cure from depression without drugs? 😢
Yes.
Thanks Professir that you are there
Its precious for us all no matter what your motives are
You must have a kind heart because you have power to help people. It is super rare. I trust you. God bless you.@@samvaknin
@@samvaknin Thank you for hope, dear Professor Vaknin.
Sam, brilliant as always. My question is if someone is both - or psycopathic narcissist- which personality traits do they express- since one needs supply the other doesn't .. how does that work to identify or is it variant. ( Narc needs others Psychopath doesn't.. what does the combo look like?
Search the comorbidities playlist.
Via one of two state qualified diagnostitians, the mmpi and a battery of other tests, my live in ex of three and a half years (four if you include the last six months of an LDR death rattle) was shown to have the following: alcohol use syndrome, antisocial personality disorder traits, narcissistic personality disorder traits, histrionic personality disorder traits, turbulent style, adhd and some depression.
Anecdotally, there were addictions, sex, p*** and amphetamines. In the past, video games and possibly gambling were addictions as well.
The diagnostician recommended further evaluation, counseling for management of the adhd, etc. Yeah, he jumped right on that. Too bad, he'd make a great study case.
How did you get him to take these tests and via a psychological or a psychiatrist?
I think I found that she knew how much I love my children and my grandchildren so she was the control me through that being that my worth and she wanted to have it all or nothing and be value me to make me look like a bad guy! So I can be her of her lies! And for her to be me of all my truth and what I love of my worth of my
I can't grasp that you're not intrested in helping poeple after the amount of effort you put at least in this channel ansewring all of my questions
Incredibly interesting. Can you continue the discussion by creating further videos on the distinction between psychopaths, narcissists, borderlines, and narcissistic personality disorder? Can someone have elements of multiple disorders?
@@YukonFox1972 Yes, I have watched all of them but just learned from this video the difference between narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. I also had a different understanding of a psychopath so I wanted him to elaborate more on the distinctions and if they can all overlap in one person.
Hey Sam, do you have a reading list or something like that for someone, who would like to build a more rigorous understanding of personality disorders, especially the cluster b?
Professor, what advice would you give to a young narcissist to live life in the most optimal way? I know that you suggested withdrawing from society/ avoiding others in another video but this is not possible for all cluster Bs since some have to make a living for ourselves and dont have financial support so what would you suggest?
William wallace
The golem!!! Hahahahaha!!!!!!!
That "thank you" in 44:58 is sooo creepy
2/3% hmm that how you bust my paranoia😱
Sam🥺
hi,
Can you recommend books about psychopathy?
So do narcissists care for animals? Like their pets?
If not then why do they have them? Whats the point of having a pet for someone with npd?
The ex narcissist I was unfortunately involved with doesn't look after his dog 😢I recently saw his dog after 2 years and she was limping so bad I had to leave! I want to call neglect animal people.
💜
Children
Sure sounds like Donald Trump to me. I find Sam to be fascinating and quite likeable.
Why not do a video about different cultures being narcissistic like Muslims are Islamic people Hindus Asians ? Cultures in narcissism makes a difference.
@Robay Torbay complimentary words Robert. He should do one on the crown forces and their cronies also
Thx
Jim mora ruined it by bringing personal aspects of vaknin...otherwise good discussion..
Vaknin.
Thanks Vaknin...👍
Hell... re abuse the narcissist ??????