This UA-cam channel saved mine and my children's lives 7 years ago. I'm grateful the abuser in our lives is nothing more than the constant headache he is. It could have been so much worse. Thank you.
I was with a Narcissit for 35yrs. I left and for the last 5yrs I have been on a journey of rediscovering myself. I have been listening to your videos for about 2yrs. But this particular video…words can not describe what I felt as I listened to your lecture. All those years I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t crazy. Thank you Prof. Vaknin. Thank you for sharing your brilliant insight with the world. Your voice has given understanding and clarity to something that I could not comprehend and I am grateful to you for that.
Man, you are brilliant! My mother had been poisoning my life since my childhood. After she finally and succesfully killed my soul, my inner world turned out to be toxic. I tried to explain to shrinks, whom I visit, that how I felt. I felt that my thoughts had been changed to my mother's ideas. She moved to my head, forcing out my own attitude, replacing them her sick way of thinking. During my life I heard my mother's sick sentences all the time. I knew that they were dark, fearful, jelaous thoughs, but I wasnt affraid of them. I didnt believe that they could do any harm of me. I observed them with a mixture of sorry and disgust. The last thing I thought that I could ever be infected by her emptiness. Now I have realized that this was a poison penetrated slowly in my mind. So when I tried to explain to shrinks and psycholgist that I felt I "had learnt" my mother's poisonous attitude and I started to poison my own life, somehow internalised her, I offered this description as a metaphor. Listening to you it turned out that it is not a metapore. This is reality. It somehow clarifies what happened, but terrifies me at the same time. Because it doesnt only feel like she revrite my mind, she actually did it. You have said many times that dealing with a narcissists is a matter of life or death. I realized how true and painful this sentence is.
@@Anchalkundlas1942 I am sorry for you. I wish you keep on fighting. After I realized that what happened to me, what was going on in my head, I started to be better step by step. So dont give up, the poison will leave your mind.
I too have a narcissist mother who’s voice is in my head as I have been brainwashed to be her slave as a child she has physically when I was young mentally and emotionally abuse me all my life I am now 60 just seeing the truth and really struggling with her punishing voice in my head. My sister is also a narcissist and my father was a sociopath. He left my mother when I was young. I have had a terrible life not knowing what was wrong with me why I have been compelled and addicted to being in these toxic relationships and not knowing how to get out. As the guilt voice of these people in my brain. It’s very tough as brain washing as a child has really screwed up my life but hearing your story gives me hope and strength to keep going . Will keep listening to Sam too thank you for writing your story to help me.
Thank you very very much Sam you are helping me to finally heal my life which has been a living hell. My mother is a narcissist my father a sociopath this has been a living hell hearing all these voices in my head. It’s so tough. I am now listening to you every day to gain strength to help me to heal. I have never heard anyone ever explain the craziness of living a life with narcissistic family members it’s been tough . I thank you so so much I am listening to you every day to give me strength to heal blessings sent to you
Sam, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with the absolute “truth.” I am a physician and in an exact situation that Dr. Vaknin is talking about. I analyzed and re analyzed myself, my narcissist husband, my mind and sanity; so as hard as it is to believe, please listen to every word he says🙏💐 it saves your sanity.
The more depressed, desperate and empty I became, the more life my mother would gain. I really appreciate your videos professor Vaknin! But every time it is like a bomb that goes off and everything shatters.
Exactly the same with my mother, but she pretends she cares about me just to get access to my mind where she every day tells me I’m physical ill and according to her she knows more how I feel, think. also never have been able to say one sentence without “it’s the wrong way of thinking. “Finally I have a explanation to why I have heard her voice in my head all the time and struggled with chronic illness my hole life and felt dead.
last night i spiraled hard af i have body dysmorphia n possibly bpd n the negative voice inside my head was so cruel n rampant, this helps me so much to distance myself for that, forgive myself for it and understand/learn from it. thank u for what you do it helps so many of us who are blind to how it all works
I have lived everything you have described. Even before I understood specifically what you have identified here, I knew the dynamics of my 40-year husband had changed dramatically and dangerously, and I left immediately and went no contact (thank you for that early advice!). It has been five years and I am surviving and thriving thanks to your amazing professional advice! ❤️
One of your best videos, for the victim who knows all that now, it is hard to combine compassion for the narzissist who hurt you so much with the instinct of self-preservation...it is as raising a child....you can always comfort and forgive a child and take it on your hand and guidance, because you're the grown up mother....and your child does not want to destroy you, but with an grown up intimate partner that childish behavior is not acceptable and possible...
Thank you Sam, for your insight on managing the echoes of the narcissist. It has been over two years since I totally disconnected from mine, and I’m still triggered whenever I make a mistake. I always envision her laughing at my misfortune and shaming me for being stupid. It was only after hearing you speak of this, and how to correct it, that I was able to quiet the voice that was torturing me. Peace.
As always. Great lecture . Knowledge is power ! Thank Sam V for sharing your knowledge. Every time that I am about to fall into the voices the @$$h0|€ implanted on my mind. I come to hear you and I remember all poop I took from him and how my own self, got almost destroyed by him. Thank you again for sharing all this very useful information I am holding strong almost one year later. All because of you. This is my safe space.
All I wanna say is thank you. This is more than I could ever wish for to recover and move on without too much damage. Understanding the narcissist, knowing I was not the crazy one (all of the time)! It gives me peace! One year now got rid of a violent narcissist. It is a struggle still now, but understanding all these behaviors is just waw amazing! I recognize all the behaviors you are talking abt and met them all unfortunately. Thanks again a million times
My own voice was so weakened. He would remotely dictate my thoughts. I was dead! I then started listening to an audio version of the book of Psalms. My own voice then came back... slowly. I'm my own person again. Thank you for making sense of this.
Stunning information and clear and absorbable. I am very grateful. My daily life has much less chaos by recognizing the patterns and projections needs, (actually demands) of broken peoples costumes of arrogance, superiority, impatience and stubborn inability to learn.
The voices…thank you beyond words for explaining the processes I didn’t have the words for! This video and the individuation video with Grannon are the explanations I’ve needed! I’ve been in a wonderful marriage for 25 years, but my abuser from 30 years ago is still in my DNA. I see how to heal fully now! Deep respect, Professor. 🙏
I've listened to dozens of Sam's videos. I've never heard him mention the tarot before. It was like a light bulb went off inside my head. Brilliant explanation for those internal voices and how to counteract them! Best tarot lesson ever! Thank you, Sam!
@@empress_highpriestess3307 Personally, Gemini moon in the 8th house, part of an Air Grand Trine. Saturn conjunct Scorpio ascendant, showing the heavy presence from day one of an abusive NPD father.
Dr Sam Vaknin, thank you so much for this incredible insight into the narcissist’s mind, psyche, whatever… I have never heard anything like it and it opens my own mind. I never understood why my partner keeps talking about death so much (and how he is not afraid of it ) but thanks to you I’m beginning to so I’m ready to fight and find the voice of life. Again thank you so much
Yes…how above life they are…saved and going to heaven but everyone else is in danger of hell. They are a chosen one…so superior…what crap comes out of their mouths!!
You described in perfect detail my STBX to a tee. His early childhood was abusive and during wartime in his country😢 when we met we worked hard to stay married. When he was covert it seemed he finally had hope to change and we were fine for a season. That is until a tour of duty in Iraq which opened the door to full blown overt narcism. He returned with off the hook PTSD, brewed for a season until he broke, blamed his bad life on me, found a new woman to conquer and we are divorcing. I felt dead, crushed, and unable to move forward. He tries to make me feel bad. This video opened my eyes to the patterns and interjects of his death voice-now I know how to heal his voices out of my head. Thank you 🙏🏻 🌻🌻🌻
Thank you so much, Prof. Vaknin. What a brilliantly sophisticated and refined, insightful and supportive presentation, graciously offered along with your subsequent videos on your UA-cam channels. I am most grateful for your extensive contribution toward my healing and recovery.
I'll just be over here getting high on Vaknin supply. The more I learn from his teachings, the better I am able to become aware of how my flavor of NPD affects others, and find better ways to meet my own vampiric needs without being detected. Which helps me seem like a "regular" person and get along better in life. I'll never FEEL like changing is necessary or possible, but I certainly understand that life is a game, and that the way I've been playing hasn't gotten me nearly as much of what I've wanted in this life. This is the best I can do. Almost a year of therapy and nothing in my sessions comes as close to being helpful as even one Vaknin vid...
My ex narcissistic partner had very definitely rejected life. He rejected intimacy, relationships, children, learning, career, friends, pets, exercise - everything. He wasn't interested in anything that gives life colour and meaning. He used to say he was looking forward to death, but not in a suicidal or maudlin way. Just resigned to the best option ahead. I found it so sad. This death voice explains his crack addiction. It utterly obliterated everything for a few brief blissful minutes, he no longer felt the howling wastelands of himself. But eventually this bliss turns to hell and life crept back in and he went back to his dead life and waiting for death.
Your “$10 words” are priceless to me. I can imagine you might get tired of explaining a concept over and over again, but I find hearing your descriptions in more than one of your videos more helpful than just listening to one video multiple times.
I listened to the original message, and I identified 100%. I get very angry when I hear his voices. It makes me very grumpy because I hate what it tells me. It's like he is here, and he isn't. I am still with him, but when he travels for work for example I can hear him all the time! It's driving me insane and I start to argue with him/myself. It's aggrevating and terrible! I searched this message and am going to listen to Sam Vaknin over and over!
Yes! That's exactly the scheme of things at play...in hindsight thanks to you Sam I realise I've lived through this...triggering again and again...luckily I pulled back after only 6 months...intensive months .. yes the complexity of narcissism...even with no contact I do at times feel the elements of the 3 stages or archetypes... illuminating Sam thank you
How could anyone disagree with you !! You’re always so on point , it amazes me how you just get it all right . Thank you for sharing your knowledge because only you could get it right
Incredibly insightful. Thank you! I found myself explaining to him that some things are special until i eventually gave up the idea that anything is significant. Excited to recover. Excited to experience special moments again ❤
Watching this has been a Rossetta Stone moment for me. I've been looking at the hieroglyphs for years, able to see the patterns, but unable to read. Now, all at once, my wife makes perfect sense to me.
This gives me hope and understanding, very grateful for your precious and life saving gifts your giving to us! The first time you were helping me was aboutish 2006......2007 I was discarded from very bad narcissist relationship and found in internet your writings and they make me realising what was going on. So thank you mister professor from the bottom of my hart and hoping you will be educating us a long long time here!
You are helping me saving my life this morning, I had told this person about a spiritual practice I was doing to get better, he used it to tell me how worthless it was and how I was incompetent at chore, hence non spiritual because he couldn’t see the changes he needed to see from me to deserve his “heart certificate”. Attacking my sense of recovery triggered suicidal thoughts. I want to live and I found this video. I don’t think about death generally around normal people. But I realize that the people that made me think about suicide just looked like normal, quiet, ordinary and even devoted person just like this person. They show their raging self righteousness in the most ordinary unguarded moment that one can drop dead. This video is my only way out of this right now. The pain is real. Despair is real. My prayers to all those suffering from covert criminals(truly feels like it) like these very sick people.
I'm living the sacrifice stage right now. I took notes and dropped my pen at the end... this is exactly what has happened to me. His death voice + mine = my trip to a mental hospital. .
Thank you Professor, this is a big piece of the puzzle that was missing for me personally it makes so much sense. Another ‘wow’ video, you’re videos have been more informative and healing than my own personal therapist, they’re very much appreciated blessings to you 🙏🏻
Very very potent overwhelmingly courageous information that you have given I am astounded and in all and happy to know what those three voices were because I have been dealing with a a woman which is a little kid and a woman's body and now I know where the source of the core started it and I thank you
I am so glad this popped up today. After 27 years of torture, I'm finally getting my head on my shoulders, if you know what I mean... Hearing this made so much sense of the last 27 years. I now wonder if he had something to do with my eldest's decision to end her life as she was not his biological child. He would use her against me as he is doing with our 2 biological children now during this divorce. I hope they make it out ok.
ooooh no, I'm so so so sorry to hear this too I had such father, but he used my mom against me, as they stayed together for life. I tried once to kill myself (long time ago), it was pretty serious, but I was interrupted last minute and saved, and bc I didn't think of him than it wasn't until now that I realised he didn't even seem to be bothered. He was the reason though, but not in my young consiousnes unfortunately, I was sure he was a very decent guy than in my late 20's I needed over next 20 years to recognize he had not only mania grandiosa, but most of all he had really no empathy exept the fake one he was showing all around. The abuse is something i'm still realizing and recovering from. So many layers. It must be hell for you to know what kind of person he is and probably not being able to use it and prove it in the court? I hope your children somehow will see through him much sooner than I managed to do with my father. I wish you all the luck, finger crossed
Thank you for your insight. It's incredibly tough to gain oneself back after the grooming. We have 2 children together that take his side in the divorce. Where he isn't responsible for the dissolve of our marriage, our relationship. He has our children convinced I haven't ever admitted to any fault in the dissolve but I have. That's the way they work right? Anywho, I hope the upcoming wedding of one of our children isn't too terribly affected by the divorce proceedings.
Also I feel like the n is absorbing the things that make me, me, not simply sharing my joys and values, but sucking those things out of me as if they were always him.
Thank you so much for this saving life instructions! I have never seen such clear and complete explanation about the voices I've been hearing inside my mind since I was very young. I am glad to aknowladge this techinique. When we survive from nacisistic abuse, we must keep fighting for inner peace with ourselves for the rest of our lives, even after years of zero contact with the narcisist. I am grateful because I can still go on, live a life, love myself, and not become ill anymore, like I used to be. Thank you so much!
High level stuff here. This will help a lot of people who think all these voices are them. They are not. Knowing this changes everything. They will still try their manipulations but it will ring hollow. Return to sender.
Incredibly interesting Sam! Thank you for bringing these understandings to my awareness. Just wish I had access to your lectures years ago. Had no idea who I was really living with for 45 yrs. 😳 Would you have any interpretation of what my now deceased narc husband said to me before his unexpected death when he announced he thought he would outlive me!😳 it has genuinely haunted me. Learned after his death that he had been living a secret life splitting time between myself and a mistress for 7 years! A wishful fantasy???Always denied being unfaithful when I questioned him. I am trying to recover my real self again. Mind boggling to put it mildly. Too many wasted years.
Dear Sam Thank you. But I am overwhelmed with the "truth". After 40 years of dieing in marriage I developed a movement disorder. I left after a physical incident and I couldnt understand why this divorce had gotten so complicated. I felt physically sick during parts of video yet hopeful that I can rebuild my self. I was afraid I had gone to far to his dark side but you awakened a spark of life and gave me directions on how to deal with the voices. It was just a game forty years of just a game. The grief process is horrible.
I'm proud of you man life is hard ! Thank God for men like this that are brave and courageous enough to tussle with that snake 🐍 and show just how to get free. I do what I can and leave the rest up to Jesus he is that spark and here's a secret if you spend time with him you become like him too. So spend time with your savior I imagine Jesus was a lot like this man and Jordan Peterson man it's a awesome time to be alive
Professor, when ex narc discarded me last year, I fantasized going to Macedonia to tell you my story hoping I was going to get “cured” just doing that. Last night, narc broke the no contact, I had that phone number blocked, I don’t understand how she did it. Anyway, she started the conversation saying how sorry she was, how much she loved me blah, blah, blah until I said “you have to figure it out on your own”, she was asking for some password she once gave to me to save it for her (service). The “you have to figure it out on your own” transformed her in a monster with the loudest death voice possible. Thanks to all I have learned from your videos, that didn’t bother me, it actually, made me laugh out loud and have the confirmation that I was dealing with a narc, no doubt. (Devaluation) I thinking I may be healing finally and I don’t have that fantasy of going all the way to Macedonia to talk to you anymore😁. Thank you Professor, if it wasn’t for your videos I don’t know what could have happened to me!
I promise him and Jordan Peterson are the Saviors and Fathers for this weak & hurting generation. I'm so proud of them! Can you imagine the mental warfare they go through ?
This is very helpful. Thank you! I personally could use a little more specificity on what resisting the narcissist's God and Life introjects looks like in practice. For the narcisist's Death voice, I believe I get it. When you hear the voice in your head telling you that you are unworthy, you answer with your own Life voice and tell yourself you are worthy. For the narcissist's God voice, it sounds like you abandon your own God voice and... accept your own imperfections? Accept that we are all imperfect? Smile at the narcissist's need to believe himself to be perfect? Something like that? For the narcissist's Life voice, my guess is that you focus on not comparing yourself to the narcissist. Tell yourself that the narcissist's happiness or success has nothing to do with you. Answer the narcissist with your own Life voice "Your happiness or success is irrelevant to me. I am focused on my own goals." Something like that?
I knew my husband for 12years and knew about his narcissism after about 2years together but it took me Proph Sam's explanation of what happens in the narcissist head to get me to accept that it will never get better but worse and I finally left him
I know exactly where when and who the voices came from, parents, peers, teachers, even songs on the radio, i know full well they are not mine. I combat them with humour, there is nothing a narcissist hates more than to be "quoted" and humiliated with their own words.
He had me almost dead... GP saved me. Made me leave the narc after 40 yrs. I'm alive and very well since. Lots of Court. Law is there to safeguard society... Me. Life is now good. I understand now why I was /am abused I pray.
This is brilliant. I am a daughter of a vulnerable narc mother (and a grand narc father). I think, there is a difference between children who grew up with this shit and people who encounter their narc later in life. I am not at all upset about my situation, even though I am messed up big time. I don't know better. Those voices are there my whole life, I thought this is me. There were times in my life when I thought I am not worthy of breathing air and taking it away from others. I started getting suicidal thoughts very early in childhood, like maybe age 7 or 8 (death voice). Exactly like you describe it. The triggering of my god voice gave me the last clue that my mother is a narc (took me 45 years), up until that point I still thought I am the problem, like she implied my whole life. I am a meditator so I could watch her trigger it and notice, that it is not me that is talking inside of me. That god voice, that odd feeling of something in the own mind is not quite me, is a strong narc detector nowadays. If I get triggered, it's a narc. I'm trained for that reaction my whole childhood. Can be quite useful. But I have a strong life voice, so I escaped. That's a really astonishing thing, being able to escape that shit without even knowing it's narcisssistic abuse. I sense that people who are more or less healthy up until the point they meet their narc are behaving quite over the top and frantic, esp. in the Inet and comments. Which makes sense, but can be a bit annoying for me. You can get rid of that narc, but I can't get rid of this mother. Also I think those people tend to admire you, Sam, a bit too much. You are still a predator and I don't want to meet you by night. And you are playing your victim card once too often. But with the distance of the internet you can be really helpful. I think this three voices theory will be extremely helpful for me working with the stuff that got implanted. That triggered voices really bother me, but I couldn't find a way yet to get rid of them. Also I have to chew the things through you mentioned about society. Thank you.
Thank you so much for this! I have wondered about why I react to certain things that people say. Your information really helps me and motivates me to work on myself and my reactions to others!
Professor Vaknin, I have an urge to thank you for your advise. I do not know why I feel so moved to tears whenever I hear your direct advise such in this video. I feel as if you were my father encoureging me with your advise. Why do I feel like this? I do not see my dad since ag es 13, narried at 18, and I have been married 42 years and only for the first few years of marraige my husband showed me some affection. I have 3 adult professionals children, but my daughter has become stranged since the last 3 years. All together I have 5 grandchildren and I want to live a long life to accomplish the things I never had a chance to and for my family enjoyment. Thanks.
Sounds like you've accomplished plenty already. It's not a easy thing to raise a family with productive and well mannered kids, or hold down a marriage for almost a decade. That's hard work proud of you
"I love ten dollar words. I just love them. I can't help it." I do too, I can't tell you how much I love learning these new words and looking them up - please tell me for someone that has a history of not remembering names and words - how to change that! - that is your challenge for today Sam Vaknin!
I offer my guesses at which cards represent the the voices: the death voice = the Devil card (representing bondage & addiction), the God voice = the Magician (representing the ability to transform reality), the life voice = the Sun (representing optimism, happiness, success). Thank you for another illuminating lecture.
I freaking love this guy, can never get enough of him 😂🤣
Amen!!!
Me neither 😂
Lol hands off ladies
Me too I listen to him everyday.. I don’t listen to music or anything except him 😁
Amen!
This UA-cam channel saved mine and my children's lives 7 years ago. I'm grateful the abuser in our lives is nothing more than the constant headache he is. It could have been so much worse. Thank you.
“You can’t say this has not been cheerful!” 🤣🤣🤣. Sam Vaknin is entertaining and brilliant 🤩 and makes me laugh when I’m not expecting it
I was with a Narcissit for 35yrs. I left and for the last 5yrs I have been on a journey of rediscovering myself. I have been listening to your videos for about 2yrs. But this particular video…words can not describe what I felt as I listened to your lecture. All those years I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t crazy. Thank you Prof. Vaknin. Thank you for sharing your brilliant insight with the world. Your voice has given understanding and clarity to something that I could not comprehend and I am grateful to you for that.
Psychological cannibalism is such a perfect description
Man, you are brilliant! My mother had been poisoning my life since my childhood. After she finally and succesfully killed my soul, my inner world turned out to be toxic. I tried to explain to shrinks, whom I visit, that how I felt. I felt that my thoughts had been changed to my mother's ideas. She moved to my head, forcing out my own attitude, replacing them her sick way of thinking.
During my life I heard my mother's sick sentences all the time. I knew that they were dark, fearful, jelaous thoughs, but I wasnt affraid of them. I didnt believe that they could do any harm of me. I observed them with a mixture of sorry and disgust. The last thing I thought that I could ever be infected by her emptiness.
Now I have realized that this was a poison penetrated slowly in my mind.
So when I tried to explain to shrinks and psycholgist that I felt I "had learnt" my mother's poisonous attitude and I started to poison my own life, somehow internalised her, I offered this description as a metaphor.
Listening to you it turned out that it is not a metapore. This is reality. It somehow clarifies what happened, but terrifies me at the same time. Because it doesnt only feel like she revrite my mind, she actually did it.
You have said many times that dealing with a narcissists is a matter of life or death. I realized how true and painful this sentence is.
The same thing happened to me and I have only option left to die or survive as m day by day losing my sanity i don't feel like a normal person
@@Anchalkundlas1942 I am sorry for you. I wish you keep on fighting. After I realized that what happened to me, what was going on in my head, I started to be better step by step. So dont give up, the poison will leave your mind.
I too have a narcissist mother who’s voice is in my head as I have been brainwashed to be her slave as a child she has physically when I was young mentally and emotionally abuse me all my life I am now 60 just seeing the truth and really struggling with her punishing voice in my head. My sister is also a narcissist and my father was a sociopath. He left my mother when I was young. I have had a terrible life not knowing what was wrong with me why I have been compelled and addicted to being in these toxic relationships and not knowing how to get out. As the guilt voice of these people in my brain. It’s very tough as brain washing as a child has really screwed up my life but hearing your story gives me hope and strength to keep going . Will keep listening to Sam too thank you for writing your story to help me.
Thank you very very much Sam you are helping me to finally heal my life which has been a living hell. My mother is a narcissist my father a sociopath this has been a living hell hearing all these voices in my head. It’s so tough. I am now listening to you every day to gain strength to help me to heal. I have never heard anyone ever explain the craziness of living a life with narcissistic family members it’s been tough . I thank you so so much I am listening to you every day to give me strength to heal blessings sent to you
Thank you!
Fight back by sticking to your own voice 💕
Yes, your own authentic inner voice telling you sincerely hand on heart that you are loved and you are safe ❤️😎🌞
Sam, thank you very much for sharing your wisdom with the absolute “truth.” I am a physician and in an exact situation that Dr. Vaknin is talking about. I analyzed and re analyzed myself, my narcissist husband, my mind and sanity; so as hard as it is to believe, please listen to every word he says🙏💐 it saves your sanity.
Professor, you say “I am going to do my best”. Your contents are the best help I have found. Thank you.
Wow. This actually sounds like what happens to the victims of narcissistic abuse. After years of abuse this is what happens to the victims.
This is excellent!
It can be reduced to one main lesson;
Selfempowerment starts by you saying NO to death implants!
And the way to do that is to be authentic as Authentic as honest as possible
When iam listening this and see many clients faces behind this, its heartbreaking . Thank you prof. S.Vaknin
Thanks you.
The more depressed, desperate and empty I became, the more life my mother would gain.
I really appreciate your videos professor Vaknin! But every time it is like a bomb that goes off and everything shatters.
Exactly the same with my mother, but she pretends she cares about me just to get access to my mind where she every day tells me I’m physical ill and according to her she knows more how I feel, think. also never have been able to say one sentence without “it’s the wrong way of thinking. “Finally I have a explanation to why I have heard her voice in my head all the time and struggled with chronic illness my hole life and felt dead.
last night i spiraled hard af i have body dysmorphia n possibly bpd n the negative voice inside my head was so cruel n rampant, this helps me so much to distance myself for that, forgive myself for it and understand/learn from it. thank u for what you do it helps so many of us who are blind to how it all works
This is incredible! He never turned me into a narcissist. Thank God!
You’ve helped me overcome a cover and overt narcissists. I want to thank you for sharing.
I absolutely love these videos they're serious and funny at the same time 😂
I have lived everything you have described. Even before I understood specifically what you have identified here, I knew the dynamics of my 40-year husband had changed dramatically and dangerously, and I left immediately and went no contact (thank you for that early advice!). It has been five years and I am surviving and thriving thanks to your amazing professional advice! ❤️
Professor, god bless you for bringing so much light on a really dark and dangerous issue
One of your best videos, for the victim who knows all that now, it is hard to combine compassion for the narzissist who hurt you so much with the instinct of self-preservation...it is as raising a child....you can always comfort and forgive a child and take it on your hand and guidance, because you're the grown up mother....and your child does not want to destroy you, but with an grown up intimate partner that childish behavior is not acceptable and possible...
To this day this is the best and most accurate description I have ever heard on Narcissism. Thank you a million times.
Thank you Sam, for your insight on managing the echoes of the narcissist. It has been over two years since I totally disconnected from mine, and I’m still triggered whenever I make a mistake. I always envision her laughing at my misfortune and shaming me for being stupid. It was only after hearing you speak of this, and how to correct it, that I was able to quiet the voice that was torturing me. Peace.
As always. Great lecture .
Knowledge is power !
Thank Sam V for sharing your knowledge.
Every time that I am about to fall into the voices the
@$$h0|€ implanted on my mind.
I come to hear you and I remember all poop I took from him and how my own self, got almost destroyed by him.
Thank you again for sharing all this very useful information
I am holding strong almost one year later.
All because of you.
This is my safe space.
This is powerful. There can not be invisible abuse with this information and encouragement. I am grateful.
All I wanna say is thank you. This is more than I could ever wish for to recover and move on without too much damage. Understanding the narcissist, knowing I was not the crazy one (all of the time)! It gives me peace! One year now got rid of a violent narcissist. It is a struggle still now, but understanding all these behaviors is just waw amazing! I recognize all the behaviors you are talking abt and met them all unfortunately. Thanks again a million times
love this channel so much, I can listen to you talk for hours but sometimes I have to take breaks Bc it just gets too depressing😭😂
My own voice was so weakened. He would remotely dictate my thoughts. I was dead! I then started listening to an audio version of the book of Psalms. My own voice then came back... slowly. I'm my own person again. Thank you for making sense of this.
I am overwhelmed by this. Thank you for explaining how these voices work. I must find my life voice now.
This must be one of your most important videos for us to understand.
Stunning information and clear and absorbable. I am very grateful. My daily life has much less chaos by recognizing the patterns and projections needs, (actually demands)
of broken peoples costumes of arrogance, superiority, impatience and
stubborn inability to learn.
AND I LOVE THE DRS WIT!!!
I think I will not need a psychologist. You are doing very well the job ❤️ thank you for everything. A Moroccan who loves you by heritage 💕
Here another Moroccan. I m s woman if you like to exchange our experiences. He is the best in this complex subject yes ❤
words cannot express the level of gratitude i feel for having stumbled across your channel..
My goodness! This is soooo true soooo important.....runnnnn!
The voices…thank you beyond words for explaining the processes I didn’t have the words for! This video and the individuation video with Grannon are the explanations I’ve needed! I’ve been in a wonderful marriage for 25 years, but my abuser from 30 years ago is still in my DNA. I see how to heal fully now! Deep respect, Professor. 🙏
No Sam! Bring back the metaphysics! I must hear more of your thoughts on the tarot!
I've listened to dozens of Sam's videos. I've never heard him mention the tarot before. It was like a light bulb went off inside my head. Brilliant explanation for those internal voices and how to counteract them! Best tarot lesson ever! Thank you, Sam!
@@empress_highpriestess3307 Personally, Gemini moon in the 8th house, part of an Air Grand Trine. Saturn conjunct Scorpio ascendant, showing the heavy presence from day one of an abusive NPD father.
Dr Sam Vaknin, thank you so much for this incredible insight into the narcissist’s mind, psyche, whatever… I have never heard anything like it and it opens my own mind. I never understood why my partner keeps talking about death so much (and how he is not afraid of it ) but thanks to you I’m beginning to so I’m ready to fight and find the voice of life. Again thank you so much
Yes…how above life they are…saved and going to heaven but everyone else is in danger of hell. They are a chosen one…so superior…what crap comes out of their mouths!!
You described in perfect detail my STBX to a tee. His early childhood was abusive and during wartime in his country😢 when we met we worked hard to stay married. When he was covert it seemed he finally had hope to change and we were fine for a season. That is until a tour of duty in Iraq which opened the door to full blown overt narcism. He returned with off the hook PTSD, brewed for a season until he broke, blamed his bad life on me, found a new woman to conquer and we are divorcing. I felt dead, crushed, and unable to move forward. He tries to make me feel bad. This video opened my eyes to the patterns and interjects of his death voice-now I know how to heal his voices out of my head. Thank you 🙏🏻 🌻🌻🌻
Thank you so much, Prof. Vaknin. What a brilliantly sophisticated and refined, insightful and supportive presentation, graciously offered along with your subsequent videos on your UA-cam channels. I am most grateful for your extensive contribution toward my healing and recovery.
Thank you Professor Vaknin, the confusion has lifted. Can't get enough. Won't watch anything else again, this is brilliant stuff. Thankyou
I'll just be over here getting high on Vaknin supply. The more I learn from his teachings, the better I am able to become aware of how my flavor of NPD affects others, and find better ways to meet my own vampiric needs without being detected. Which helps me seem like a "regular" person and get along better in life. I'll never FEEL like changing is necessary or possible, but I certainly understand that life is a game, and that the way I've been playing hasn't gotten me nearly as much of what I've wanted in this life. This is the best I can do. Almost a year of therapy and nothing in my sessions comes as close to being helpful as even one Vaknin vid...
Damn, you could be dope like Sam, work that NPD, don’t let it work you. 💋
My ex narcissistic partner had very definitely rejected life. He rejected intimacy, relationships, children, learning, career, friends, pets, exercise - everything. He wasn't interested in anything that gives life colour and meaning. He used to say he was looking forward to death, but not in a suicidal or maudlin way. Just resigned to the best option ahead. I found it so sad.
This death voice explains his crack addiction. It utterly obliterated everything for a few brief blissful minutes, he no longer felt the howling wastelands of himself. But eventually this bliss turns to hell and life crept back in and he went back to his dead life and waiting for death.
Your “$10 words” are priceless to me. I can imagine you might get tired of explaining a concept over and over again, but I find hearing your descriptions in more than one of your videos more helpful than just listening to one video multiple times.
Though it may be sought, you are a genius sir. The articulate way you express is extremely useful. Much appreciated!!
Dear Sam, thank you! Without you I would still be out there in the mist.
This is your very best video!!!
Makes perfect sense!!!!
I've paid this price
You're awesome!!!
Thank you 💖
Thank you dr Vaknin for helping me understand how corrupted my mind really is.
It was eye opening.
I listened to the original message, and I identified 100%. I get very angry when I hear his voices. It makes me very grumpy because I hate what it tells me. It's like he is here, and he isn't. I am still with him, but when he travels for work for example I can hear him all the time! It's driving me insane and I start to argue with him/myself. It's aggrevating and terrible! I searched this message and am going to listen to Sam Vaknin over and over!
Wow! Same here...I hear him playing guitar.
Also get a bible and replace his words with your creators.
Invaluable information that I'm grateful for. Thank you, Sam
I think it’s one of your best videos!!!!! Hard to digest but so true. Thank you Professor Vakin❤❤
Yes! That's exactly the scheme of things at play...in hindsight thanks to you Sam I realise I've lived through this...triggering again and again...luckily I pulled back after only 6 months...intensive months .. yes the complexity of narcissism...even with no contact I do at times feel the elements of the 3 stages or archetypes... illuminating Sam thank you
How could anyone disagree with you !! You’re always so on point , it amazes me how you just get it all right . Thank you for sharing your knowledge because only you could get it right
Incredibly insightful. Thank you! I found myself explaining to him that some things are special until i eventually gave up the idea that anything is significant. Excited to recover. Excited to experience special moments again ❤
Thank you Prof Vaknin. 8th March has a much more positive meaning 😊
Watching this has been a Rossetta Stone moment for me.
I've been looking at the hieroglyphs for years, able to see the patterns, but unable to read. Now, all at once, my wife makes perfect sense to me.
Thank you so much for this video and the others you have made. I am receiving such a huge amount of depth from them.
I appreciate you more and more through the years.
This gives me hope and understanding, very grateful for your precious and life saving gifts your giving to us! The first time you were helping me was aboutish 2006......2007 I was discarded from very bad narcissist relationship and found in internet your writings and they make me realising what was going on. So thank you mister professor from the bottom of my hart and hoping you will be educating us a long long time here!
This is pure gold... Thank you Prof. Sam Vaknin.
Thank you so much professor Sam❤ you clarified with words what I been experiencing for many years
Holy cow. That was incredible.
You are helping me saving my life this morning, I had told this person about a spiritual practice I was doing to get better, he used it to tell me how worthless it was and how I was incompetent at chore, hence non spiritual because he couldn’t see the changes he needed to see from me to deserve his “heart certificate”. Attacking my sense of recovery triggered suicidal thoughts. I want to live and I found this video. I don’t think about death generally around normal people. But I realize that the people that made me think about suicide just looked like normal, quiet, ordinary and even devoted person just like this person. They show their raging self righteousness in the most ordinary unguarded moment that one can drop dead. This video is my only way out of this right now. The pain is real. Despair is real. My prayers to all those suffering from covert criminals(truly feels like it) like these very sick people.
💗💗💗 hang in there. Get as many of those parasites out of your life as you can. Make boundaries your holy grail. It gets better
I'm living the sacrifice stage right now. I took notes and dropped my pen at the end... this is exactly what has happened to me. His death voice + mine = my trip to a mental hospital. .
You are fantastic at this Professor Vankin. Excellent video.You have your finger on the pulse like very few do. Thank you always!
this is so good.So true. It will be at your expense.... "you should suffer" Thank you Sam!
THANK YOU ! SIGH ...It's not MY voice!! But a pesky irritant...now so well defined thank you!
Wish I knew this 5 years ago. It might have helped heal faster
Thank you Professor, this is a big piece of the puzzle that was missing for me personally it makes so much sense. Another ‘wow’ video, you’re videos have been more informative and healing than my own personal therapist, they’re very much appreciated blessings to you 🙏🏻
Very very potent overwhelmingly courageous information that you have given I am astounded and in all and happy to know what those three voices were because I have been dealing with a a woman which is a little kid and a woman's body and now I know where the source of the core started it and I thank you
I am so glad this popped up today. After 27 years of torture, I'm finally getting my head on my shoulders, if you know what I mean...
Hearing this made so much sense of the last 27 years.
I now wonder if he had something to do with my eldest's decision to end her life as she was not his biological child. He would use her against me as he is doing with our 2 biological children now during this divorce.
I hope they make it out ok.
Omg I’m so sorry to hear this about everything, your daughter. We must stay away from these narcissistic people
ooooh no, I'm so so so sorry to hear this too
I had such father, but he used my mom against me, as they stayed together for life. I tried once to kill myself (long time ago), it was pretty serious, but I was interrupted last minute and saved, and bc I didn't think of him than it wasn't until now that I realised he didn't even seem to be bothered. He was the reason though, but not in my young consiousnes unfortunately, I was sure he was a very decent guy than in my late 20's
I needed over next 20 years to recognize he had not only mania grandiosa, but most of all he had really no empathy exept the fake one he was showing all around. The abuse is something i'm still realizing and recovering from. So many layers.
It must be hell for you to know what kind of person he is and probably not being able to use it and prove it in the court? I hope your children somehow will see through him much sooner than I managed to do with my father. I wish you all the luck, finger crossed
Thank you for your insight. It's incredibly tough to gain oneself back after the grooming.
We have 2 children together that take his side in the divorce. Where he isn't responsible for the dissolve of our marriage, our relationship. He has our children convinced I haven't ever admitted to any fault in the dissolve but I have. That's the way they work right?
Anywho, I hope the upcoming wedding of one of our children isn't too terribly affected by the divorce proceedings.
In my experience with the narcissist there is definitely a cloning happening. It makes me think of Agent Smith from the Matrix.
Also I feel like the n is absorbing the things that make me, me, not simply sharing my joys and values, but sucking those things out of me as if they were always him.
@@eternalstudent7461 I've absolutely experienced this!
Thank you so much for this saving life instructions! I have never seen such clear and complete explanation about the voices I've been hearing inside my mind since I was very young. I am glad to aknowladge this techinique. When we survive from nacisistic abuse, we must keep fighting for inner peace with ourselves for the rest of our lives, even after years of zero contact with the narcisist. I am grateful because I can still go on, live a life, love myself, and not become ill anymore, like I used to be. Thank you so much!
High level stuff here. This will help a lot of people who think all these voices are them. They are not. Knowing this changes everything. They will still try their manipulations but it will ring hollow. Return to sender.
Excellent explanation. Thanks for making that clear.
Incredibly interesting Sam! Thank you for bringing these understandings to my awareness. Just wish I had access to your lectures years ago. Had no idea who I was really living with for 45 yrs. 😳 Would you have any interpretation of what my now deceased narc husband said to me before his unexpected death when he announced he thought he would outlive me!😳 it has genuinely haunted me. Learned after his death that he had been living a secret life splitting time between myself and a mistress for 7 years! A wishful fantasy???Always denied being unfaithful when I questioned him. I am trying to recover my real self again. Mind boggling to put it mildly. Too many wasted years.
Thank you Sam.. You really gave me some valuable insights with this video.. I would rank it as the best one so far
Dear Sam
Thank you. But I am overwhelmed with the "truth". After 40 years of dieing in marriage I developed a movement disorder. I left after a physical incident and I couldnt understand why this divorce had gotten so complicated. I felt physically sick during parts of video yet hopeful that I can rebuild my self. I was afraid I had gone to far to his dark side but you awakened a spark of life and gave me directions on how to deal with the voices. It was just a game forty years of just a game. The grief process is horrible.
I'm proud of you man life is hard ! Thank God for men like this that are brave and courageous enough to tussle with that snake 🐍 and show just how to get free. I do what I can and leave the rest up to Jesus he is that spark and here's a secret if you spend time with him you become like him too. So spend time with your savior I imagine Jesus was a lot like this man and Jordan Peterson man it's a awesome time to be alive
Professor, when ex narc discarded me last year, I fantasized going to Macedonia to tell you my story hoping I was going to get “cured” just doing that.
Last night, narc broke the no contact, I had that phone number blocked, I don’t understand how she did it.
Anyway, she started the conversation saying how sorry she was, how much she loved me blah, blah, blah until I said “you have to figure it out on your own”, she was asking for some password she once gave to me to save it for her (service).
The “you have to figure it out on your own” transformed her in a monster with the loudest death voice possible. Thanks to all I have learned from your videos, that didn’t bother me, it actually, made me laugh out loud and have the confirmation that I was dealing with a narc, no doubt. (Devaluation)
I thinking I may be healing finally and I don’t have that fantasy of going all the way to Macedonia to talk to you anymore😁. Thank you Professor, if it wasn’t for your videos I don’t know what could have happened to me!
Thank you 😊 This is priceless. ❤️ You are helping us heal.
I promise him and Jordan Peterson are the Saviors and Fathers for this weak & hurting generation. I'm so proud of them! Can you imagine the mental warfare they go through ?
This is very helpful. Thank you! I personally could use a little more specificity on what resisting the narcissist's God and Life introjects looks like in practice.
For the narcisist's Death voice, I believe I get it. When you hear the voice in your head telling you that you are unworthy, you answer with your own Life voice and tell yourself you are worthy.
For the narcissist's God voice, it sounds like you abandon your own God voice and... accept your own imperfections? Accept that we are all imperfect? Smile at the narcissist's need to believe himself to be perfect? Something like that?
For the narcissist's Life voice, my guess is that you focus on not comparing yourself to the narcissist. Tell yourself that the narcissist's happiness or success has nothing to do with you. Answer the narcissist with your own Life voice "Your happiness or success is irrelevant to me. I am focused on my own goals." Something like that?
😂 Comedic relief appreciated! Well done!!
What an excellent video. Thanks Sam.
I have learned this, being now aware of those negative effects So now when something negative happens being alert and go find some positive thoughts
Such great information, as always. Thank you.
I knew my husband for 12years and knew about his narcissism after about 2years together but it took me Proph Sam's explanation of what happens in the narcissist head to get me to accept that it will never get better but worse and I finally left him
So they can't become better ?
I know exactly where when and who the voices came from, parents, peers, teachers, even songs on the radio, i know full well they are not mine. I combat them with humour, there is nothing a narcissist hates more than to be "quoted" and humiliated with their own words.
So, being the supply, we get a mind meld that adds to his humanity at the price of ours. This explains the process?
This is/was what was happening to me 🤪 you are God-sent
He had me almost dead... GP saved me. Made me leave the narc after 40 yrs. I'm alive and very well since. Lots of Court. Law is there to safeguard society... Me.
Life is now good. I understand now why I was /am abused
I pray.
This is brilliant.
I am a daughter of a vulnerable narc mother (and a grand narc father). I think, there is a difference between children who grew up with this shit and people who encounter their narc later in life. I am not at all upset about my situation, even though I am messed up big time. I don't know better. Those voices are there my whole life, I thought this is me. There were times in my life when I thought I am not worthy of breathing air and taking it away from others. I started getting suicidal thoughts very early in childhood, like maybe age 7 or 8 (death voice). Exactly like you describe it. The triggering of my god voice gave me the last clue that my mother is a narc (took me 45 years), up until that point I still thought I am the problem, like she implied my whole life. I am a meditator so I could watch her trigger it and notice, that it is not me that is talking inside of me. That god voice, that odd feeling of something in the own mind is not quite me, is a strong narc detector nowadays. If I get triggered, it's a narc. I'm trained for that reaction my whole childhood. Can be quite useful.
But I have a strong life voice, so I escaped. That's a really astonishing thing, being able to escape that shit without even knowing it's narcisssistic abuse. I sense that people who are more or less healthy up until the point they meet their narc are behaving quite over the top and frantic, esp. in the Inet and comments. Which makes sense, but can be a bit annoying for me. You can get rid of that narc, but I can't get rid of this mother.
Also I think those people tend to admire you, Sam, a bit too much. You are still a predator and I don't want to meet you by night. And you are playing your victim card once too often. But with the distance of the internet you can be really helpful. I think this three voices theory will be extremely helpful for me working with the stuff that got implanted. That triggered voices really bother me, but I couldn't find a way yet to get rid of them.
Also I have to chew the things through you mentioned about society. Thank you.
My prayers are with you Christ has helped me to overcome those voices hes the still small voice.
I love you Sam
Your videos are actually my supply lol I can’t stop listening to them ❤
"Poster for dracula" I nearly died laughing..Brilliant message thanks so much.
Death voice, life voice and the voice of god. So true !!!
Thank you so much for this! I have wondered about why I react to certain things that people say. Your information really helps me and motivates me to work on myself and my reactions to others!
From Australia
You are the the cutest professor I have seen
Warm regards Judy
Thank you for this. ❤
This video has been very valuable for me when working with Internal Family Systems. Thank you.
Professor Vaknin, I have an urge to thank you for your advise. I do not know why I feel so moved to tears whenever I hear your direct advise such in this video. I feel as if you were my father encoureging me with your advise.
Why do I feel like this? I do not see my dad since ag es 13, narried at 18, and I have been married 42 years and only for the first few years of marraige my husband showed me some affection.
I have 3 adult professionals children, but my daughter has become stranged since the last 3 years. All together I have 5 grandchildren and I want to live a long life to accomplish the things I never had a chance to and for my family enjoyment.
Thanks.
Sounds like you've accomplished plenty already. It's not a easy thing to raise a family with productive and well mannered kids, or hold down a marriage for almost a decade. That's hard work proud of you
Prof Vaknin you are ace👍🏻🤗👌👍🏻
"I love ten dollar words. I just love them. I can't help it."
I do too, I can't tell you how much I love learning these new words and looking them up - please tell me for someone that has a history of not remembering names and words - how to change that! - that is your challenge for today Sam Vaknin!
I offer my guesses at which cards represent the the voices: the death voice = the Devil card (representing bondage & addiction), the God voice = the Magician (representing the ability to transform reality), the life voice = the Sun (representing optimism, happiness, success).
Thank you for another illuminating lecture.