How do you relate to.your son when your daughter-in-law is a narc? She has tried to use me as her secondary supply and I have been abused. As a resultI withdrew from my DIL but I struggle with my son who lives a block from me with my DIL. He is displaying her characteristics much of the time towards me. This has changed from.his initial character?
I lost 40kg in 8 months after i suddenly decided that i was disconnecting from my ex-husband. He is bigger than ever and my son who is also living with him is bigger than ever as well. It is the spirit and energy that they have attached to them like a backpack full of bowling balls that causes them their problems - unhealed trauma from spiritual damage during childhood. The person you meet is the child inside, so happy to see you with childlike wonder and love-bombing, but that child is held captive by a dark energy inside who eventually and slowly takes over and holds that child hostage inside whilst running the show on the outside. The Holy Spirit is the only thing that has the power to break the bonds that those dark energies have over them, and to free the child inside so they can continue to grow, so be a prayer warrior becoz you can't do it by yourself...
Absolutely! I had to spend over a year with a family member (due to uncontrollable changes in life circumstances). I went in wearing larges & mediums. Inside of a couple of months...a couple of MONTHS, i was wearing smalls & extra smalls. A few months later...i was wearing junior sizes...doing no type of exercise, eating essentially the same. Now that i'm in my own space once again...i'm regaining my lovely curves & health! Im still in small sizes, but i'm physically more fit, while my heart, soul & mind heal! Thank the good Lord!!🙏🎉😊
I'm sooo happy and sooo grateful. No contact with mother since 2013. Divorced and left passive aggressive covert narc ex husband 2017. Seriously happy joyous and free living alone with many animals
@@bronwyntanner4501That's me. No more mom. No more abusive boyfriend (s) or husband. No more being put down or squashed out of my own body. I honestly did not know if I was going to survive I was so beaten down for such a long time. I am alive today and getting stronger with every new day but it has been a long hard scary at times road. My dad is definitely dead because of my mother and the way she devalued him steady and constant until he was too weak to even think about trying to leave. She was a self-righteous bully. My younger brother had a stroke a few years ago and I saw it coming. My mom had him squirming and screaming like a chicken being chased with an ax. She wanted me dead from the start, conception actually as she managed to kill my twin I found out much later. When she finally told me in a rage conversation that I should be dead and gone by now and why wasn't I dead and gone by now that I finally dropped her like a hot potato and started my healing journey. There are a lot of people that want to know why I don't talk to my mom and they do not understand at all what I went through all my life with her. I don't try to explain that to them anymore. I know I'm lucky to still be alive and have anything to work with and improve with myself still. My ex-husband still hovers over my son not his and tries to control him. He doesn't see it just like nobody could see what my mom was doing to me. I can only pray he comes out still owning his life from this stage of it. Thanks Romney. You have been part of my healing journey from the beginning when I figured out with the help of a good therapist what was really happening. She couldn't tell until she got enough evidence to prove it to get me started in the right direction. I am very grateful to still have breath in my lungs today. I can start with that
@@cleeisme1 I have no immediate family or friends So he's shit out of luck with that. So that's why he thinks/imagine people around me Oh btw, he told me that he's a psychopath. Never went or knew any til now He's both like you said; aggressive/victim. And sometimes right submissive. Confusing. But, I'm on it Like, I know he's brainwashing me That's not the scary part The scary part to all this: Is that I'm also brainwashing myself along with his Go figure that out. I did figure it out. The book be out next year🧐🤔🙄🫣🤨🤣🤣
I couldn't agree more. It has stolen too many years to count since my abuse began literally in my mothers womb. She was so disconnected/detached when she was pregnant that she would joke about smoking and never really looked any deeper, considering what damage she was already doing. Instead, she always made it into a 'funny story' to tell since they didn't realize how harmful it was since I was born in the 70s. I also remember from a very early age, maybe 3 or 4 but I was crying and couldn't stop. I don't know why I was so upset but vividly remember her eyes and how dark they were when she made me go to my room for a 'time out' after she got so mad when she asked me what I was crying for and couldn't answer. She told me that I'd better figure it out and not to come out till then and slammed my bedroom door. I never could imagine how awful it would get as I grew up and sadly don't have a ton of memories since I think it was a way I subconsciously dealt with her emotional and sometimes physical abuse. My older sister, whose birthday is today, and my mother's is tomorrow their personalities are incredibly similar and only made the abuse worse since it is a classic empath/narcissistic relationship and was always told I was too sensitive or overthink everything even being told I was 'too trusting' and other strange comments I couldn't understand why they were saying them. I always felt this heavy feeling on my heart and can still feel it at almost 50 years old this October. I knew that things felt wrong didn't know why since I was so severely manipulated I allowed them to treat me that way just thinking that alot of people have struggled with relationship with their parents and especially sister fight, right? I am so thankful for realizing this abuse eventually after almost not being here to make it make sense. The anxiety lead to depression and eventually chronic pain from an actual autoimmune disease and other medical problems with one in particular that put me in the hospital out of the blue for over a week with a severe GI bleed, ulcers all over my colon at 32 years old. At this time my body was starting to physically show symptoms of the chronic abuse. Even in the hospital I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy with severe pain and facial dropping on my left side which in turn ordered an MRI finding a lesion on my frontel cortex.. I had more diagnoses all autoimmune related.. I only share this so you can see the medical problems the abuse can cause since it's still a mystery as to what's caused some of my issues that ultimately lead me to find emotional and physical pain relief from a pill. I struggled with opioid addiction, depression and severe anxiety until my early 40s to really start to connect the dots. It is so systemic and runs deep into my own mom's abuse, and then the abuse my grandmother endured from my great grandmother and sadly I am grateful for the opportunity to break this disturbing cycle of abuse and am learning more about healing my trauma with educational videos you are doing, bringing attention to this very serious subject. I am most grateful for my life, though, since I know how close to losing my life from either an accident or purpose. I pray that everyone involved in any relationship and are experiencing any type of emotional or physical abuse to seek help right away. Please don't waste your time listening to the manipulation and lies. They will never hold themselves accountable and is just making you suffer more. Please stay strong and safe since these people, family or not, are extremely dangerous. This is abuse even if it's hard to understand how someone could be so evil/sinister and especially family? As a very intuitive, intelligent woman, I suffered needlessly for too many years since I didn't want to accept it was my family doing the most damage. Protect your energy and use your own mess your message. Much love and strength to you all. Thank you again for sharing this video. 🫂🧿🪶
It's mental and emotional abuse bug time. I have a daughter that married a narcissist and she's not the same daughter I once knew, it's very sad 😢💔 She is in a deep depression and never feels good. Her husband has controlled her for way to long, it's tremendously changed who my daughter once was and I pray ,she will finally get away from him cause he has ruined her life ! With him everything is her fault in thier marriage! I would love to see my daughter happy and being herself again 🙏🏼😔👍
My daughter is married to a narcissist and she can't be herself. He control's everything in her life. I pray she will eventually get enough and get out of this horrific marriage 🙏🏼😢 My heart break's for her cause she deserves way better in her life 💔😢
💯 This is A revelation My mum and sister died of this exact thing; being in relationship with husbands and people who sucks them dried I had a divine intervention to break this pattern of abuse with partner and family members
I went from a happy healthy, smiling woman to chronic fatigue, 50 pound weight gain, depression, anxiety, bilateral semi detached retinas, Reactivated Epstien Barr, and a nervous breakdown in a matter of 6 years! I had to go on disability. I divorced his a$$ and now 5 years later I am finally about 90% healed and back to working. It is literally life and death!! I am a textbook example of what she is talking about. The psychiatrists did not ever tell me to leave him. That should have been Mal practice!!!!
I can relate. I was with my ex husband for 25 years and I developed thyroid cancer in my 30's due to reactivated Epstein barr that corkscrewed into my thyroid causing the cancer. Almost died twice due to thyroid storm because no one knew I was sick, even tho I dropped over a 100 pounds and got VERY skinny. I left and have gained 50 pounds and now have trouble losing weight, lol
Yep. Went from extremely healthy, and then all of these things you are talking about, from a lifetime of heavy metal exposure, mold, illness, and stress. Got EBV with the Lyme disease and everything collapsed. And then… After everything was gone, in the narcissist. More borderline in my case, but ultimately there are all the same. They only want to steal, kill and destroy. And they want to watch people burn. It’s just entertainment to them. I went from 85% dead to varying between 93 and 98% dead. Several times that I almost went under, just in the morning on my way to work. Everything started to get fuzzy and blackout, similar to what had happened decades before when I had drug addiction .… Knowing what an overdose feels like, and then realizing that, though you’ve been sober for many years, you are experiencing that from the stress and sickness and evil of this person, turns it all against you and destroys your relationships and support system in the process!and then pretend like it doesn’t even matter. It’s not a big deal, or they didn’t do it or whatever. They just want you to die when it comes down to it they literally don’t care.
@@flamingsword777 that’s crazy, I went through so much gaslighting from the medical industry for years. Already had a major distress for them even before 2020. And all the insanity and bullshit from my ex in the middle of it. Lucky to be alive!
@@theoriginal7727 yes you are and I'm glad you got out! Not living authentically will definitely kill you, especially if you are very sensitive to energy of all kinds. It's sad that we seem to intuitively know more than the medical professionals what happened to us than they do. I went to an eastern, integrative doctor and leaned what all was going on inside me AFTER the cancer. I was still having problems and she actually told my ex, "I don't know what kind of stress your wife is under, but if it doesn't stop, you're gonna lose her. She WILL die." .I was already going though a massive awakening and that was enough for me to realize what was going on and I told myself it's either him.or me, and I chose me.
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com
I just have one quibble with what you wrote -- it's unfairly judgmental of children. Studies and anecdotal evidence shows that children can be capable of empathy and kindness from very early on. They can show affection, they can comfort other children and even their parents (I remember seeing my mom crying after her father died and throwing my little 6-year-old arms around as much of her as I could reach to try to comfort her in the best way I knew how. It was instinctive). So I don't believe children are necessarily takers by nature.
I traveled around the world with a narcissist and one of the most disturbing things about him was his inability to enjoy the simple beautiful things about life. So good you pointed that! Narcissist take the joy out of you because they are incapable of feeling it themselves, hence they envy it and seek to destroy it in others.
Yes! I remember my narcissistic ex was unable to take in the beauty of a glorious Greek island, bright blue sea, kind people....I noticed my childhood friend was absolutely dazzled by the beauty, but my then-partner was irritable and impatient.
@@gobigirl1 Sometimes irritable is justified, it doesnt mean the person is a narc. They have legit complaints. But I see what you mean with people who are impatient and ungrateful they get to witness something most ppl on Earth dont.
Do they constantly tell you how great everything is while experiencing the activity? I have a friend and the whole time we go out to a park or whatever he is saying "isn't this great it's so great" and on and on and I'm always thinking you don't have to tell me I can feel it if it's great. He is probably trying to get himself to feel
And more rare as well, there are very few people that aren’t dealing with unnecessary, unhealthy, daily trauma from toxic people in society as it is today. Narcissism is reward in our patriarchal economic system. A
Good advice to tell yourself every day as a reminder. This is who they are. Remember all the things they have revealed who they really are, now run fast into the other direction!
Public health crisis- she nailed it. I predict workplaces will acknowledge it next when more and more people will go off sick as result of dealing with narc psycho at work
I ended up the hospital with organ failure due to extremely high blood pressure--- Once I kicked him out everything regulated. She is not wrong. Protect your self .
Thank for the well -wishes-- Health keep improving I feel all my energy come back and my light. When I think back I can't believe I put up with any of that weird crap. Never Again. You either love and be kind to each other or be happy alone🎉🎉🎉
Yes, almost instantly when I decided to remove my brother out of my life my very high blood pressure went down to normal, I no longer had upset stomachs, I was no longer anxious every time the phone rang. The relief was unbelievable!
@@carolgonzales4262 Well, they very much prey upon our insecurities, so if you revealed any deep insecurities in the beginning they used that as their starting point and didn't bother with the pedestal phase. There is no shame. If they can get away with it, they will.
I remember my boyfriend's ex wife saying (about her new boyfriend that was a heroin addict) I build him up to tear him down. Why would you even admit to that???
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
No narcs are never happy from the inside. The only time I have seen them show some sign of joy is either when they gain some material things, or when someone praises them.
Like when parents expect better or different gifts or their special day cards but have never attached to you thus never preferring just to spend time with you
Narcissistic people completely drain you. You are so physically and emotionally exhausted. Doctors and friends conclude that YOU'RE sick. No one believes that the sick one is the narcissist in your life. Seeking counseling is vital.
I woke up almost blind this morning. He just told me I was a demon trying to make his life harder. I was scared. I can see better now. But something is going on. I attribute it to a possible stroke, I'm scared out of my wits everyday, all-day.
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.
@@terrylynndelman dont be sorry for me. I am a blessed man. I have three healthy sons and although I'm 49, I look like I'm 40. I'm healthy and free, lots of lessons learned. And she..I realize her soul is a destroyed one. Mine is not. And I hope the same for you
It took me getting cancer and him immediately leaving for a new supply to realize. It’s mind boggling. Depleting. Can ruin you. Don’t let it. Do not let it.
Narcissist are very hyper vigilant; always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And see a threat everywhere. And yes, nothing is ever enough for them. In 12 mos, I only saw this toxic person seem relaxed twice.
Yup. I was sick for years while with a psychopath. Two months after leaving him my health improved by 90%. Issues doctors could not help me with disappeared.... Mind blowing !
may i ask wich illness you had? CONGRATULATIONS , i am bedridden and depending on a psychopath, no family no help, but i was already sick, he made me 50 % sicker and i developed more illnesses...
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my four-year relationship. My beloved partner chose to leave, leaving me with an enduring sense of loss. Despite my unwavering efforts to reconcile, I find myself struggling with frustration and an inability to imagine a future without him. Though I’ve tried to erase him from my thoughts, his absence continues to haunt me, compelling me to share my feelings here.
Letting go of someone you deeply love is incredibly difficult. I was in a similar situation when my five-year relationship ended. I couldn't bring myself to let go and did everything in my power to get him back. In the end, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me reconnect with him.
Girl I gave me heart and soul to someone for 6 years never cheated never thought of it for the 1st time ever . Love at 1st sight . 6 years everyday together. I was never right after awhile 4 years then it became push and pull till I bought my own house never stayed in it for two years . Push pull. Then after I bought the house we together but no title of boyfriend lol so we went on a trip to drop daughter off at college . Had a great time . Came ba k she went out till 1 with her brother so I was upset went to my house for 4 day to find another man at house leaf blowing only a ex boyfriend we're not having sex but his sweatshirt is on the bed lol games games and more games that's after attending church and praying together for 1 1/2 years . Crazy stuff . Run don't get caught up wither they want you or not run your free . They will be back protect yourself
My husband was a narcissist. We were married 37 years. When he passed away a couple of years ago and I could finally hear my own voice I had several realizations. One of those realizations was that no matter how much I tried or hard I worked it would never have been enough for him. On his deathbed he apologized to me for not being loyal, respectful and supportive. But that just made me angrier. Why then? Why apologize when I would never have time to accept that apology? 2 years have gone by and while my life is far from perfect I feel happier and stronger than I had for a long time. I can do what I want., eat what I want, wear what I want to and make friends with people he would have complained about.
I have lived that life for 54 yrs and my Narc Husband passed away 2 days ago. No he never apologized as he could not talk but I would feel like you….why now, is he guilty? Or is it he knew what he did was wrong? It does seem to have a voice now and be able to have a choice of food, etc. I wish you the best😊
Taking personal responsibility for our relationships is the only way to get & stay clear of narssistic abuse. DO NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO GET IT, CARE, or CHANGE.
They say there's no cure for lupus, but my lupus was out of control when I was with my narcissistic ex-husband and now that he's gone, the inflammation and lupus markers are gone, too. 🙏🎉❤️
@@Victoria-qk3mu No Father, but she could be grateful and pride of yourself, she did, she make all the hard and difficult and important decisions. Praise herself.
The mind-body connection is a VERY real thing. Maybe being alone isn’t ideal but it beats the hell out of being in a destructive relationship - on every level!
Being alone is not for everyone but there are those who are truely happy being alone. They have experienced enough to know how others choose to live is not for them as it depletes them of their energy to live. The extroverts attention seeking people are over ruling the introverts who also have a purpose as they see this reality completely different.
I agree. Better alone than the constant tension. The worst part is knowing if you leave they will retailate, they just will. You will have to walk on fire to leave and it will take time to be safe. But never again.
I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and thought, "my God you look like you've aged 10 years in the 2 years you've lived with this narc." This video isn't a surprise but feels so validating.
Same ! But I am healing, you will too 😊. I did some shopping last week, did not do so for two years ! I don't even want to wear clothes that i wore when i was with this predator ! God, this freedom ! 😌😌
Same here I’ve aged 5 years or more since he moved back from NJ after being laid off from a job that I only saw him late Friday he slept most of sat from airport boozeathon hangovers n Sunday he left again. Now he’s home all the time an constantly abusing me verbally emotionally constant lying just abuse every way!!!🥵😡
Yes! At 62 he made sure to destroy my life financially and without a home. It’s been insane to have that huge grief! I had no clue what was happening. I doubted myself and everything. And everyone. Thank you Dr Ramani for such a banquet of wisdom and insightful support!
I had a cop tell me I should not be in my phone when my husband is talking to me! That’s how I survived!!! He was psycho later in the years and never displayed that in begginigm! So then we spend years thinking what the hell is wrong with us so we’ve been up with somebody like that because my life was never that crazy and then I hear it’s from my childhood which is BS a man can con!! I want to use the word man is because there’s not too many women they’re out there, but not half as many as men
Well, when I was a teenager, we didn't have cell phones, so doctors would tell me to stop watching TV an hour before bed and just stop worrying so much. "This is the best time in your life." Doctors never asked me what my home life was like? Sad that nothing has really changed! I'm in my 50s and still have insomnia!
Multiple health problems are very common in victim survivors of NPD abuse. From my early childhood I have been ill from the toxic treatment I received from my violent and emotionally abusive Overt Narcissistic father ( diagnosed by several Psychiatrists). I then married a man exactly the same in all ways except for the physical violence, and my health deteriorated even more to the point that I was told by a leading Nephrologist my kidneys were failing without any physiological explanation. That same week my ex husband admitted that he began cheating on me when I was 7 months pregnant. Returned to live with my parents with our one year old child…He changed the locks on the family home and kept all of my belongings and I then underwent 15 years of court cases from the prolonged and traumatic divorce process to several custody fights, including legal proceedings against my parents and the police, 14 and then another 21 charges of contempt of court declared quasi/ criminal charges brought against me by my ex husband whilst he simultaneously perpetrated extreme parental alienation which still impacts the once loving and healthy relationship I had with my only child ( who is now 29 years old and her father disowned 4 years ago when she refused to commit an illegal act he was forcing her (through cruel emotional blackmail) to do on his behalf which monumentally back fired on him and he was then charged with a criminal act of fraud by the police that instigated charges of medical misconduct by the medical board). He falsely claimed he was suffering from a terminal illness to try to get the charges and the court proceedings dropped but I don’t know the final outcome) According to my daughter’s uncle her father’s estranged brother, the terminal illness was another fabrication. Her father then began a vicious smear campaign against our daughter hell bent on destroying her own medical career which also backfired on him and she is now finally free from him and his dangerous, toxic behaviour at considerable cost to her own emotional health. Yet she is free at last to live her life and is forging a very successful medical career as a Specialist physician. After 15 years of using the Family Court as his main weapon of Narcissistic revenge he was finally declared a Malignant Covert Narcissist with Anti Social Personality Disorder ( court appointed psychologist vexatious litigator and could no longer initiate any further legal action against me. By then I was a wreck but I kept on going because of my beautiful daughter who thankfully saw through her father’s lies and returned to live with me for the last few years of her schooling. He wouldn’t pay child support yet was a self employed medical profession She topped the State in Biology, was Dux of her class and won many academic prizes including a scholarship to a prestigious university which paid for her accommodation in the college etc. whilst she studied pre med and then medicine. Once my daughter left for college… I was still so financially compromised by the years of financial abuse instigated by my ex husband’s campaign to avoid paying child support, I was now alone once more living with my family of origin… and at age 48 my life became a replica of my former abusive childhood where I was the scapegoat and the severe violence returned this time from both my father and my schizoaffective ( medically diagnosed at age 15) brother. Within 4 years I was hospitalised with severe malnutrition ( Beri Beri)
This video is so validating. Now I understand what was happening by living and being married to a Narcissist for almost 40 years. Life is sooooo much better after separating.
My PCP sent me to an endocrinologist. My stress hormones are through the roof & I'm vitamin D deficient. I thought I was dying of cancer. I am 112 lbs and had a stress induced heart attack, mid-February. That was my second heart attack & I am a 37 year old mother of 2 boys. I still have no official diagnosis & the things that were wrong with my labs are all okay, now. It is very clear that the dis-ease is chronic stress. I am very patient & forgiving, but this is all too much.
My life too! I cpuld literally feel my body deteriorate when I am in the midst of text argument with narc husbands . I have shown my therapist the text chains from my husband and she confirms i am being emotionally abused by narc husband
@@Christine-jg3hf , my husband just texted me this evening ranting disparaging things to me about what i dont do , how i disrespect him, how he works so hard, etc. All i ever do during these situations is avoid engaging, keep replies short , and try my best to not get baited into arguing. He always threatens to leave, but doesn't.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
My Narrsistic husband called me stupid the other night, i said " i would rather be stupid then evil rotten, and heartless." I would never had said that to him 5 years ago. I love my boundries.
Be careful though, narcissistic people dislike boundaries and being put in their place. They typically start to plot against you. Remember their dillusional. An injury can lead to rage...
We are finally coming to understand, and soon will be coming to terms with the age old problem of human evil. We finally have a somewhat medical and scientific understanding of how and why this happens. Now shall we have the political will too and purge the monster from humanity for all time?
@@theoriginal7727 That is what I am here to witness. In the meantime I will focus on happy healthy humans as when society breaks I want no evil in my life because the ego destruction is not going to be pretty. Have faith that the fall of unhealthy controling systems will happen in my life time as it already happening.
One does not need to be careful if he or she doesn't think there's a threat. Metaphorically, you wouldn't step around like there were mines embedded in the ground if it wasn't a minefield. Growing up for me, IF I'd known, I'd be more careful, a hundred percent
I suffered with chronic unexplained G.I. disturbances and whole body physical agony for years. My physical pain was so intense that I would wake up from a dead sleep with tears streaming down my face because the pain had woken me up. Almost instantly after leaving my husband, I was having normal bowel movements and my chronic pain completely disappeared. When I realized what was going on and why I wasn't having those problems anymore, I dropped to my knees and broke down sobbing at the reality of what the abuse was causing and that I had a new lease on life.
Me too! I also had constant GI issues and irregular hormonal cycles. Less than a month into No Contact I was improving. One year out now and I am regular in every way. The only thing I changed is my interaction with him. They absolutely bring a stress that makes you physically ill.
@@SilverStar82 both the clinician and psychologist that I see recommended the book "the body keeps the score" to me after I shared this with them. It might help bring some light to your situation as well! I feel like the physical impact of abuse is not nearly talked about enough. Now that I'm out and have a good support system I realize that unless you've been through this, you have no concept of what it's like and what it does to a person on the receiving end. I've been out since January and I'm still learning. It is absolutely mind-boggling. I'm glad you're out and hopefully thriving!
I had to go to a gastroenterologist who couldn’t find anything wrong with me and thinks my IBS stemmed solely from stress. I still have a hard time accepting it.
I’m so glad she is talking about this. When I left that narcissist I’ve been so happy!!!!!!!! THIS NEEDS TO BEBON A BILLBOARD. Narcissist are killing people
The system turns a blind eye, deaf ears, and no heart. Court Judges have admitted that they are not handling mediation comprehensively. It's failing the nuclear American family on a large scale, apparently it's an operation that's not completing a righteous goal. Just acting as a Bank in its most elementary form, and causing continued harm, by its inability to mediate from a complete and comprehensive view and judgement. Ask the court what a covert narcissist is and how to remedy, cure, remove the controversy, that emanate from the harms caused by their continued actions. It's almost promoted and validation of horrendous behavior. Needs to be addressed in a national scale, and soon.
She's correct. Toxic relationships will take your quality of life and then your very life. Caution, please don't think it can't happen to you. Be vigilant and be wary they are out there waiting to ruin lives. It's beyond sad and bad.
Why do people/ professionals not call it out. We are advised never to call them a narcissist to their face but that's just sweeping it under the carpet.
“Narcissists feel entitled to forgiveness” hits different. Nobody knows this side of them and the trauma is nobody will believe you because narcissists are masters of deception. They will have everyone believe that they’re the victims of you and you’re doing something wrong by even thinking about leaving them. They’re pathological liars. Hope anyone who’s going through this gets the strength and love ❤️
Isolation with the bible and questioning God if it's bad to turn my back on my parent. Of course it is if they are evil and only mean harm towards you. I'm very careful not to speak against them . That's my way of honoring my parent. From afar!!!
100% Dr Ramani. I am 8 years divorced from a malignant narcisist. I am alive and had to relocate. Not yet found a new partner and I am still concerned about abusive relashionships but happy to be alone and safe:)
Do shadow work and list what your weaknesses are. When narcs try to enter your life you will be strong and knowledgeable about what they are targeting (do they positively overwhelm by triggering your needs but too early etc). good luck x
Alone and safe is a much better situation.... I walked away from a malignant Narcissistic person...they are scary and dangerous, it's all about them, their image, yikes Never had a sexual relationship with, so cost wasn't deep emotional bonding... Two weeks after staying with them I knew it was dangerous, took 8 months to GET AWAY.... It took the Lord, to make it happen, part of the equation is to trust and pray for direction....trust His leading, He know how to lead you thru and out!
OMG! Yes!! You can not have a civil conversation or have a disagreement. They hate the truth or twist what you're actually saying and make it about them being attacked by you. Everything revolves around them because they're so insecure.
And they minimize the nice things you do and blow out of proportion some comment you made. Or you didn't visit or texted when you called them and went to their house.
@@kenhart8771😂😂😂😂 this comment shows you never finished elementary. She is a Clinical psychologist with 20+ years of experience from bachelor degree to PhD she studied psychology so her words aren’t old wise woman words they are Scientific FACTS backed by research. Her life experience gives her more empathy nothing more than that . Read a little sometime😊😊😊✌️
This is another example of why I think the internet is one of the most important things to be invented in my lifetime. This kind of in-depth information wasn't available when I was young and forming important relationships. It would have been life changing for me. I'm learning a lot from UA-cam videos like this one.
I wholeheartedly believe that the stress of living with a narcissist makes you physically ill and causes real physical pain. It happens to me. Chronic pain, abdominal issues and autoimmune disorders. Also weight fluctuations. These issues were very very real, yet they resolved once I no longer lived with a narcissist...every time. Weight issues and health issues melt away when I'm not exposed to them. I am a very sensitive person. Maybe that's why.
I was left 44 kg (57 is the normal for my height) after caring for my dying narc and still abusive parent, while being abused non stop, insulted, barked at, humiliated constantly through all that ordeal by the nearly 20 younger sibling I had helped raise. They had only disgust, no compassion, no word of comfort, no kindness of any sort... the evil mfs were killing me so as to feel they have power over another human being. I fled the country, I cannot cope with the stress of having to do with them in any way, even coming across a common acquaintance provoked extreme stress.
@@nostromois If you can, get some good therapy from a professional specializing in cluster B personality disorders. The ruminating and the way you will beat yourself up and gaslight yourself after being raised by a monster is actually even worse than their abuse.
I dumped my narcissist friend who was very bossy, controlling, insulting and incredibly rude after i started getting heart palpitations about our next planned outing. "Time to go, no matter what".
@39:09 It's very important to listen to the "Types" of narcissists to help you understand what you are dealing with in this person. I appreciate how Dr Ramani explains them all in detail. It would be nice to hear Dr Ramani discuss how to plan to safely leave from an entire financial aspect, safety, securing documents to identify you to take, ways to actually leave if one had no vehicle, how to keep children & pets safe in the process.
They will not give you ANYTHING like praise unless it’s FOR something they need. They’ll change their tone. They’ll say what you might need to hear and them BOOM their latest demands. And knocking you off your pedestal. They seem to hate you. And twist everything you think you know. About life. About yourself. About them.
I currently can’t afford therapy as a result of being in a very unhealthy relationship with somebody who fits this profile. Having access to these sessions with Dr Ramani is what’s keeping me strong and ensuring I never go back. How lucky we are to have Dr’s out there educating the world :)
This Dr needs to be given an AWARD!! She’s courageous to talk about Behavioural issues in our today’s society!!! She’s an ADVOCATE!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🧠🤩🥰
The analogy of the slot machine is brilliant. You keep putting in to it, to get little or nothing back. You get emotionally and mentally trapped, thinking if you keep trying, it will change. The truth that your body feels it first is so true. Stomach issues, heart palpitations, low immunity, etc. Thank you Dr. Ramani for sharing this
That was me. Trying and trying for 20 years when I knew from the first year he was a taker. I even read about narcissist but he is covert so I didn't get it. I felt alone, neglected, gaslighted, unworthy because I didn't make a lot of money
Yes. My narcissistic mother loved slot machines. Even thinking she could control them with her mind. I think casinos are a great place for narcissists.
It’s crazy! I didn’t realize how in an abusive marriage with a narcissist of 10 years really took a toll. I was suicidal, had random unexplained pains in my abdomen that would end up in the ER, pain in my back, I was sick constantly and my hair was falling out like the movie the Grudge. I never struggled with acne but I started to get like hives in my face and even my lips were breaking out , felt like sand. The doctor told me I probably had an autoimmune disease but again, it was unexplained. Plus, I was so depressed and had low energy. Being away from all that now (almost 4 years) all those things disappeared. My family told me I looked younger and just glowing. It’s been tough but I’m in therapy and learning who I am still. But honestly, night and day. I never thought I would feel happy again, single and living life. ❤
I got scared when I lost weight I couldn't afford to lose, losing my hair and looking 20 years older....I honestly didn't recognize myself in the mirror.....but...it was when I ACUALLY had to Google certain behaviors I wondered to narcissist sites.....then I went down the rabbit hole...doing better now.....a healthy weight and thick hair and I am much happier but not healed....getting there
@@tdayy31better to leave now than let them cause more damage. The ONLY way to appease a narcissist is to completely erase yourself and you deserve much better 😌 💯
I got triple negative breast cancer while working for the most toxic boss I ever had. I moved and changed jobs during treatment and was cancer free in months. I have PTSD from her which has yet to be addressed. Good therapists are hard to find and expensive where I live. Listen to this lady. She is spot on.
My 12 years of chronic joint and muscle pain significantly reduced after moving out. How powerful a peaceful mind could be! Without you, Dr. R, I would have never known how it feels to be alive AGAIN! 💗
After 8 plus years of been in a toxic relationship I now have osteoarthritis. Was feeling the life literally been sucked out of me as the narcissist was living in my house and was extremely hard to conceive to move out as the supply for them was the roof over their head- until this month!🥂🍾Thankfully I became FREE during the 1st week of May ‘24 and I’m praying that my health recovers as I begin to rebuild my life again! Narcissistic abuse is truly demonic. Run away from these people before they lead you to an early grave! 🏃🏽♀️
Living invalidated, walking on eggshells, burying who you are, daily soul crushing disrespect...all they do as Dr R says is toxic. When my bf of several yrs went to jail it was the best thing that happened. I cried on day 2 realizing "I can be me again!" What an amazing revelation. I never looked back.
I moved in with my bf and didn’t know about narcissism yet, but I began experiencing chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, it was a terrible 2 years. I made the choice to move out and after living alone with him out of the picture I began feeling better and within 2 months I was no longer napping during the day, but while living with him I took 2 - 3 naps a day, plus slept 9 hours a night but it was not restful. I fell for the hoover but didn't let him move in, I noticed after we spent time together or if he spent the night I felt exhausted. I finally let him go and have felt much better mentally and emotionally. This is so true and I am so thankful for you Dr. Ramani!! I was gaslit so much by the covert narcissist, possibly malignant because he enjoyed inflicting pain. He would bait me into anger and crying and would sit there smirking while I cried, very sickening!
Your comment brought back a memory. I would also fall asleep in the afternoons, I had to sleep & thought I must have some form of narcolepsy. Since I left him 9 years ago I haven't had to sleep in the afternoons.It started just months after we married after the 1st time he hit me. I've never made the connection before bc I stayed for 23 years. Thank you.❤ I also was diagnosed with Irritable Bowl Syndrome. My bowel literally stopped working,I could not go to the toilet. I had a colonoscopy & the Dr said that my bowel spasmed while he was using the scope in my bowel which meant he couldn't move it on any further until the spasm stopped. I was then sent to a psychiatrist & diagnosed with major depressive illness. I never disclosed the Domestic Violence but spoke about my childhood,etc. I'm realising that my toxic relationship was most likely the cause as my depression was not clinical, I didn't wake up depressed...it was reactive- if something happened I reacted to that incident, something that happened or was said or done by others. I no longer have IBS & I weaned myself off antidepressants during covid era, which I was told I would be on for life. I'm 65yo now & feel healthier than in my 30s. I also avoid Drs & I don't get sick. Last cold was 9 yrs ago, just after I left my 23yr marriage.🎉
@joeythebushkangaroo1 It's crazy how much we suffer, if it was shown like physical abuse it would look terrible! I also thought I had narcolepsy! I even did a sleep study for apnea and it was normal. I was so depressed, anxious and exhausted. I tried vitamins, things for energy, had tests run for thyroid, etc and it all came back normal. I was also on antidepressants, the max dose and it sort of numbed me but didn't really help. After I moved and got away from him my life improved dramatically, I also weaned off thr antidepressants and my energy started to return, the fight or flight started to subside and it was shocking in a way because I felt happy. I had forgotten what that feeling was like. I still have some bad days or flashbacks but overall things are a lot better. Glad you were finally able to get away amd start healing. I always like to hear when someone escapes and starts to get healthy. 😊 We deserve to be happy!
Narcissistic parents are destroying childrens life. As an adult, you can't find your inner peace. That's so sad. Not everybody can afford an expensive therapist.
Many times they can’t identify it anyway they’re not criminologist they haven’t worked for the FBI. It takes years. I’ve been studying it daily and it takes time being around somebody to see it really close attention
They have no inner peace, then they pass the baton to their children. My mother gave me just enough snippets of hers and my fathers terrible childhoods. That kept me feeling awful for them and missing every single sign of what awful things they were doing! It gives them an excuse because they gave more 'stuff', so you should be grateful and happy. The happiest kids I knew at school had parents who let their kids be messy and worse hand me downs and a warm loving environment
I AM an adult child of a flaming narcissist (mother) and an abusive on all levels father. Yes, it DOES ruin children’s lives!! After partnering with a expert therapist on PTSD victims, and going through an extremely painful emotional and mental process, I began to “see the light.” This video is like hearing my thoughts I had for far too many years. BTW, I married a flaming narcissist, very much like my mother. During the therapy process, I recognized the bitter truth. Never married again. I am 67 years old and divorced his sorry a$$ when I was 37 years old. My daughter was 7 and my son was 3. The supplier switched from me to the children. The children were brain washed against me, even though I was the domiciliary, present, responsible parent in their lives. THIS has been the most painful collateral damage of my entire life.
It took me a lifetime to figure out that you have to do this work at the onset. For years, I couldn't figure out why I kept ending up in relationships with narcissistic people. I guess I had to go through all of that to get to the point where I could understand that it is all about prevention! Boundaries! Gates! Fences! Discernment! Intruder alarms!
what to do if you’re the separated parent of children whose father is a raging narcissist? They constantly call me in distress after he’s raged at them or attacked them verbally or gaslit them & caused so much distress that they’re crying to me…and I feel so helpless, because I can’t do anything to protect them from this monster of a human… All I can do is remind them that it’s his issues, not theirs, and that he is not behaving like an adult, let alone a parent… and I can see it’s taking a huge toll on them as they’re now in their teens.
At 55 years old, I realized I had lived my entire life in trauma! I am a child from two narcissistic parents who sexually, physically, mentally and psychologically abused me. Then, I had two narcissistic husbands, one that I have three adult children with and another one that I just divorced in 2023. From what they are talking about regarding health, I spent my childhood sick all the time, migraines, gastrointestinal issues, nausea, then with my first marriage diagnosed with cold induced urticaria, hypothyroidism and with my last marriage, diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2021, that came with restless leg syndrome, my hair was falling out in handfuls, migraines, daily nausea, and more. They are horrible, terrible people. Now, I have finally woke up and am trying to heal myself.
I have immense gratitude for Dr. Ramani and her angelic rebellious spirit. Dr. Ramani One of the best lessons I have ever been gifted with is that no one can steal your education away from you. Thank you for educating so many other survivors of narcissistic abuse. One breath, one moment at a time… I am a Life Long Learner, learning a new taste of self compassion and self trust. I am in the arena surviving daily . I am trying with all I am to be free of a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. My greatest inspiration is faith in Love. The root of all Love is God’s unending presence and showing me I am enough. I refuse to believe false truths and my life’s goal is two fold; break the ancestral chains of narcissistic abuse and to be free from joy thief’s so I can fully experience ‘Awe’ any damn time I want in the present moment. Dr. Ramani…you are a great hero in our time. In Jesus name I pray you always have love, light and joy even in the difficult times.❤️🌈🌊🫶🕊️🥰
Best thing any therapist ever did was when my ex decided we should go to therapy and the couples therapist saw through him trying to manipulate me and I said how depressed the relationship was making me, so he told us that if my mental health was part of the marital issues, then we probably (mostly me) needed individual therapy before continuing couples therapy. Unbeknownst to my ex, the therapist recommended another therapist for me who specializes in treating women who face or have faced spousal abuse. Dude saw exactly what the problem was and he helped me realize it and build the confidence to leave my ex by getting me in on my own with the right therapist and selling it to my ex as necessary to "fix" our relationship. Really need to find where both of them are now and send a long thank you letter.
This gives me hope for the profession. My Narc ex IS A THERAPIST - while he was studying he would sneakily tell me about Intermittent Reinforcement as if I was coursework but it was to rub it in
I truly truly am a believer. Now I have breast cancer 7 years after Uterus cancer. The stress and anxiety almost killed me. I could not control my diabetes. Every doctor visit showed a decline in my health. From my eyes to my feet. It was so not worth it to try to make it work. Nothing working with a Narc. It took me 30 yrs to leave. I wasn't crazy. These videos are life saving. They saved my life and have happily helped me to leave and move forward. Thank you so much.
Agree, 25 yrs for me starting at 65. No more anxiety attacks, heart issues, loss of sleep. I now have peace. Yes, it's painful to leave but more painful to stay.
Wow, so beautiful to hear your testimony. And how much a human body can be affected by bad people being around or not. This awareness is saving women's lives. Such a joy to see.
My mum sacrificed her life this is something I have realized over the last few years. And I dare say so many others have and will continue to do so.i feel like a good cry coming on thinking of my mum. I know I’m not alone. I honor my good times I had with her and she’s never forgotten love you mum.
That is so nice to hear. So glad she has you on her side. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue over 20 years ago. Grew up in a toxic household and married a very toxic man, and my daughter doesn't seem to understand. I wish my daughter understood more.
I ditto what you say ~ my mother’s experience much like yours-in an age when even the courts litigiously-abused unsupported lone mothers (via male judges) up until 1980’s and supported the ‘rights’ of entitled, unfaithful NPD males and misogynistic and feckless fathers! I’m 70 now and know this as 1950/60’s FACT. It was mine and similar kids’ £ poor and distressed childhoods due to sociopathic actions of a ‘father..’ incapable of unconditional love. The only love they nurtured ~ their own Self love.
Any advice welcome, Please help: I’m the mother of 3, separated for over 10yrs now from a covert narcissist, who has unfortunately remained in the kids lives although they live with me. He seems to have become even more of a raging narcissist as they’ve entered their teens & starting to realise the type of person he truly is underneath all the manipulation & lies. Recently his behaviour around the kids has started to get so much worse & more controlling than ever & if they don’t do what he says or if they answer back or say something he doesn’t like he will suddenly switch from being pleasant & normal to verbally abusing, swearing & threatening them, and my son gets threatened physically. They regularly call me in distress after he’s raged at them or attacked them verbally or gaslit them & caused one of them so much distress that they’re calling me crying…and I feel so helpless, because I can’t really say or do anything to protect them from this monster of a human, and I can’t get him out of their lives either, even if I tried to prove that he’s abusive towards them in a court, they are all terrified of how he’d react to them even accusing him of that, he’s literally mastered gaslighting them & making everything look like their fault or my fault… All I can do is remind them that he has problems, not them, and that he is not behaving like an adult, let alone a parent… It’s really starting to take a huge toll on them as they’re now in their teens, and also on me, because I just don’t have the strength, the capacity or the resources to overcome this monster, and I feel like such a failure & like I’m letting them down by allowing them to continue to experience this traumatic relationship with their father… 😢
@@conditioning8ct492 oh thank you! I did this at first just so I could come back and watch this and hop around easier to certain spots, but I’m also glad others can benefit from these markers too.
1:02:51 plan well , if he is the banker he will take everything .. hide money. Get legal advice The only saving grace for me was our child was born Aus, as l was served a summons for court EU. He stool 140 k out of joint account , didn't work much of the 18 yrs , 1200 a month drug habit. It's sickening... Good luck.
I lived with one for 40 years I did it quietly after 4/5 failed attempts as I was hoovered back ,it was bloody hard! it is hard, do it and do it safely they are dangerous people believe me😊
How are you now Joseph? Listen.... I am here for you . You need to plan your escape carefully . No more excuses. I am telling you it is going to be hard leaving him But don't find reasons for staying . There are no good reasons to stay. Your happiness and self worth are more important than keeping him. There is no hope He will not change . Every word he gives you is going to turn up being lies Believe me girl ... its going to be tough But you are more worth than staying ......
I've left my narcissistic husband of 17 years about 3months ago. I was on painkillers for 8 years becauseI just started feeling sick...I stopped taking them...I feel so much better. I use to suffer from weekly migraines. I haven't had a migraine in 2months. I'm slowly going back to training...I feel AMAZING!👏Thank you Dr Ramani for giving me a wake up call to realise that narcissists don't change! That's the day I decided that I was done and I was going to leave and choose me!🎉
I was sooo sick. Depression. IBS. Adrenal fatigue. All as a result of toxic relationships. Mother. Alcoholic first husband. Narcissist second husband. Narc ex romance 2018. Five former friends. No contact with them. Healing and recovering daily. Thanks to Dr Ramani my journey and growth has been sooo welcome
I got a new therapist, and I was out of a relationship in weeks after 20 yrs of abuse while having major health issues. Years later, I saw the old, long-term therapist out. We talked, and she commented on how she watched my health decline year after year, but that I looked great now. She never told me that I was in an abusive, toxic relationship. That he would never get better. I kelp, trying to fix him. Fix me. She didn't believe in divorce unless adultery. I felt so betrayed. I couldn't see the damage.
I told my therapist I was terribly lonely with my partner and that he was insensitive and often abusive alternating with love bombing and I wanted to leave him. My therapist discouraged me saying it’s better to stay than “find yourself utterly alone” and I believed him. 20 years later I wish I had left because I’m physically and mentally emotionally drained.
I am very sorry that that happened to both of you with therapy, the one place where we put our trust and shoulder and should be safe place. Unfortunately I have also unhappy experience with therapy. I wish both of you all the best and healing, good for you, you are out of that relationship. 🍀🍀🍀
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Specifically, patients with a diagnosis of borderline, antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder are remarkably prone to suicide attempts and suicide (Blasco-Fontecilla et al., 2009b; Bronisch, 1996).
I was in a narcissistic marriage for 31 years and the last one Yr before I decided enough is enough I became extremely sick. When I came out 4 months ago, I got healed almost instantly. Thank God for the healing, thank God for people like Dr Ramani who feeds us with alot of knowledge about narcissist. Am so much at peace. I WILL NEVER GOBACK THERE. These people are monsters.
I've been in mine for 29 years as of June 10th, since I was 19. I am stuck here, and that is my harsh reality. I knew something wasn't right in 1995, but as you know it wasn't spoken about. Now it is over used, and most truly don't really know what it is. We had 3 amazing children. Two of them are successful adults and live on there own. Our youngest is a senior in hs, and has taken on some of her father's narcissistic traits. My life is lonely. I have no friends, no hobbies, I have his friends, and his hobbies. I barely have a name. I am just Kevin's wife. My added burden is I've had Multiple Sclerosis dxd for 25yrs. But....Good for you. I am envious of you. I hope you live an amazing life.
@Bay-BGhost how do you manage? I know you have to be depressed and probably suffer from more health issues than you should. Is ot possible to take a vacation or maybe live in separate places?
Lived this way 58 years, wore a full mouthpiece for TMJ my entire life got away 3 years ago, and haven't worn one since. I did have a brain aneurysm and wasn't expected to live, but I pulled through and will NEVER get caught in that again!!
Sixty years. I had braces, the "adjustments" were painful. Dad's cruel treatment of mom, women in general, especially me, wore on me, His lies, I am not in contact with him; he's an immture, insecure, not responsible(accepting his responisibilty-100% for abusing me), but blaming me for the abuse. I am done with his bullshit!
Exposure to these chronic toxic relationships in all of their forms is truly the equivalent of exposure to toxic environmental chemical harm, if not on an internal vulnerable poisonous scale. Bravo Dr. Ramani! Mahalo for this conversation both of you!
6 місяців тому+58
Narcissists personify the old adage 'Looks are deceiving'.
I have said for years that I take and take, and I finally blow. Well, now, I don't take. I keep toxic people out of my life. I have learned so much from watching Dr. Ramani, Jerry Wise, and others. Once you recognize the symptoms, you need to distance yourself. Knowledge is power! ❤
I am 59 years old and was born into a toxic family and married into one too. Today I have come to acceptance of the mobbing I have suffered. There is nothing I can do to change the gaslighting done to me. My health has suffered immensely. I am ready to heal.
This is why I advocate for those survivors of narcissistic abuse instead of those living with cluster b personality profiles. Even when they seek help for themselves, they still don’t care one bit for the stress and health issues they cause their victims. Dr Ramani has a lot of haters that are worried about a label when the victims are losing their health, quality of life, and actual lives.
You still have time too . Better late than never . No matter the age we all have one life why waste it with anything/anyone that doesn’t provide you joy respect and love
Get my FREE guide Raise Your Omega 3's when you sign up for my weekly health newsletter at www.dhrupurohit.com/omega3
Thank you for this interview. So helpful.
That.was excellent Dr Sharmi, so spot on and you explained just excellently. God bless you
How do you relate to.your son when your daughter-in-law is a narc? She has tried to use me as her secondary supply and I have been abused. As a resultI withdrew from my DIL but I struggle with my son who lives a block from me with my DIL. He is displaying her characteristics much of the time towards me. This has changed from.his initial character?
I'm in a narcissistic relationship for more than 25 years.I belief it's a trauma bond where do I start
So grateful for all the good information
Great interview, p
Blessings
Living with a narcissist in your life feels like being slowly poisoned
Yes!
Yessssss
And possesd
I have grey hairs all over at the age of 26. I’m so glad God saved my life
@@JessAnonymous You might want to take some nutritional copper. That's not necessarily from stress alone.
I'm a living proof that when you leave a toxic relationship, your health improves tremendously
Truth ❤
I lost 40kg in 8 months after i suddenly decided that i was disconnecting from my ex-husband.
He is bigger than ever and my son who is also living with him is bigger than ever as well.
It is the spirit and energy that they have attached to them like a backpack full of bowling balls that causes them their problems - unhealed trauma from spiritual damage during childhood.
The person you meet is the child inside, so happy to see you with childlike wonder and love-bombing, but that child is held captive by a dark energy inside who eventually and slowly takes over and holds that child hostage inside whilst running the show on the outside.
The Holy Spirit is the only thing that has the power to break the bonds that those dark energies have over them, and to free the child inside so they can continue to grow, so be a prayer warrior becoz you can't do it by yourself...
It does improve your health. Still hard to heal, though. But anything other than being with the narcissist is better.
Me too
Absolutely! I had to spend over a year with a family member (due to uncontrollable changes in life circumstances). I went in wearing larges & mediums. Inside of a couple of months...a couple of MONTHS, i was wearing smalls & extra smalls. A few months later...i was wearing junior sizes...doing no type of exercise, eating essentially the same. Now that i'm in my own space once again...i'm regaining my lovely curves & health! Im still in small sizes, but i'm physically more fit, while my heart, soul & mind heal! Thank the good Lord!!🙏🎉😊
The happiest and strongest people are those who are free from toxic people!!! 😊❤🎉
I'm sooo happy and sooo grateful. No contact with mother since 2013. Divorced and left passive aggressive covert narc ex husband 2017.
Seriously happy joyous and free living alone with many animals
Thank you ❤❤
Amen
@@bronwyntanner4501That's me. No more mom. No more abusive boyfriend (s) or husband. No more being put down or squashed out of my own body. I honestly did not know if I was going to survive I was so beaten down for such a long time. I am alive today and getting stronger with every new day but it has been a long hard scary at times road. My dad is definitely dead because of my mother and the way she devalued him steady and constant until he was too weak to even think about trying to leave. She was a self-righteous bully. My younger brother had a stroke a few years ago and I saw it coming. My mom had him squirming and screaming like a chicken being chased with an ax. She wanted me dead from the start, conception actually as she managed to kill my twin I found out much later. When she finally told me in a rage conversation that I should be dead and gone by now and why wasn't I dead and gone by now that I finally dropped her like a hot potato and started my healing journey. There are a lot of people that want to know why I don't talk to my mom and they do not understand at all what I went through all my life with her. I don't try to explain that to them anymore. I know I'm lucky to still be alive and have anything to work with and improve with myself still. My ex-husband still hovers over my son not his and tries to control him. He doesn't see it just like nobody could see what my mom was doing to me. I can only pray he comes out still owning his life from this stage of it. Thanks Romney. You have been part of my healing journey from the beginning when I figured out with the help of a good therapist what was really happening. She couldn't tell until she got enough evidence to prove it to get me started in the right direction. I am very grateful to still have breath in my lungs today. I can start with that
Sooooooooooo truueeeeeeeeeeeee!!!🎉
It seems so hard to prove because the narc will switch up and change from the aggressor to the victim. They are such good actors.
Yes! Chameleons they had everyone fooled. They would morph into whoever they needed to be for my family to win them over.
Yes they are
@@cleeisme1 I have no immediate family or friends
So he's shit out of luck with that. So that's why he thinks/imagine people around me
Oh btw, he told me that he's a psychopath. Never went or knew any til now
He's both like you said; aggressive/victim. And sometimes right submissive. Confusing. But, I'm on it
Like, I know he's brainwashing me
That's not the scary part
The scary part to all this:
Is that I'm also brainwashing myself along with his
Go figure that out.
I did figure it out.
The book be out next year🧐🤔🙄🫣🤨🤣🤣
Narcissistic abuse should be a crime.
I totally agree with you.
After my Health, my Life....really everything is destroyed i feel the same.
I couldn't agree more. It has stolen too many years to count since my abuse began literally in my mothers womb. She was so disconnected/detached when she was pregnant that she would joke about smoking and never really looked any deeper, considering what damage she was already doing. Instead, she always made it into a 'funny story' to tell since they didn't realize how harmful it was since I was born in the 70s. I also remember from a very early age, maybe 3 or 4 but I was crying and couldn't stop. I don't know why I was so upset but vividly remember her eyes and how dark they were when she made me go to my room for a 'time out' after she got so mad when she asked me what I was crying for and couldn't answer. She told me that I'd better figure it out and not to come out till then and slammed my bedroom door. I never could imagine how awful it would get as I grew up and sadly don't have a ton of memories since I think it was a way I subconsciously dealt with her emotional and sometimes physical abuse.
My older sister, whose birthday is today, and my mother's is tomorrow their personalities are incredibly similar and only made the abuse worse since it is a classic empath/narcissistic relationship and was always told I was too sensitive or overthink everything even being told I was 'too trusting' and other strange comments I couldn't understand why they were saying them. I always felt this heavy feeling on my heart and can still feel it at almost 50 years old this October. I knew that things felt wrong didn't know why since I was so severely manipulated I allowed them to treat me that way just thinking that alot of people have struggled with relationship with their parents and especially sister fight, right?
I am so thankful for realizing this abuse eventually after almost not being here to make it make sense. The anxiety lead to depression and eventually chronic pain from an actual autoimmune disease and other medical problems with one in particular that put me in the hospital out of the blue for over a week with a severe GI bleed, ulcers all over my colon at 32 years old. At this time my body was starting to physically show symptoms of the chronic abuse. Even in the hospital I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy with severe pain and facial dropping on my left side which in turn ordered an MRI finding a lesion on my frontel cortex.. I had more diagnoses all autoimmune related.. I only share this so you can see the medical problems the abuse can cause since it's still a mystery as to what's caused some of my issues that ultimately lead me to find emotional and physical pain relief from a pill. I struggled with opioid addiction, depression and severe anxiety until my early 40s to really start to connect the dots. It is so systemic and runs deep into my own mom's abuse, and then the abuse my grandmother endured from my great grandmother and sadly I am grateful for the opportunity to break this disturbing cycle of abuse and am learning more about healing my trauma with educational videos you are doing, bringing attention to this very serious subject. I am most grateful for my life, though, since I know how close to losing my life from either an accident or purpose.
I pray that everyone involved in any relationship and are experiencing any type of emotional or physical abuse to seek help right away. Please don't waste your time listening to the manipulation and lies. They will never hold themselves accountable and is just making you suffer more. Please stay strong and safe since these people, family or not, are extremely dangerous. This is abuse even if it's hard to understand how someone could be so evil/sinister and especially family? As a very intuitive, intelligent woman, I suffered needlessly for too many years since I didn't want to accept it was my family doing the most damage. Protect your energy and use your own mess your message. Much love and strength to you all. Thank you again for sharing this video. 🫂🧿🪶
It's mental and emotional abuse bug time. I have a daughter that married a narcissist and she's not the same daughter I once knew, it's very sad 😢💔 She is in a deep depression and never feels good. Her husband has controlled her for way to long, it's tremendously changed who my daughter once was and I pray ,she will finally get away from him cause he has ruined her life ! With him everything is her fault in thier marriage! I would love to see my daughter happy and being herself again 🙏🏼😔👍
My daughter is married to a narcissist and she can't be herself. He control's everything in her life. I pray she will eventually get enough and get out of this horrific marriage 🙏🏼😢 My heart break's for her cause she deserves way better in her life 💔😢
Dr Ramani deserves a Nobel Prize.
💯
This is A revelation
My mum and sister died of this exact thing; being in relationship with husbands and people who sucks them dried
I had a divine intervention to break this pattern of abuse with partner and family members
This is so helpful for anyone experience this
@@AbideenTurkyou are a m@r@n and likely the person that others have to escape from
@@AbideenTurkyou are likely the person people are trying to escape from
If the committee is not filled with narcs
I went from a happy healthy, smiling woman to chronic fatigue, 50 pound weight gain, depression, anxiety, bilateral semi detached retinas, Reactivated Epstien Barr, and a nervous breakdown in a matter of 6 years! I had to go on disability. I divorced his a$$ and now 5 years later I am finally about 90% healed and back to working. It is literally life and death!! I am a textbook example of what she is talking about. The psychiatrists did not ever tell me to leave him. That should have been Mal practice!!!!
I can relate. I was with my ex husband for 25 years and I developed thyroid cancer in my 30's due to reactivated Epstein barr that corkscrewed into my thyroid causing the cancer. Almost died twice due to thyroid storm because no one knew I was sick, even tho I dropped over a 100 pounds and got VERY skinny. I left and have gained 50 pounds and now have trouble losing weight, lol
Psyciatrists and therapists are not as knowlegable on narc abuse as they should be.
Yep. Went from extremely healthy, and then all of these things you are talking about, from a lifetime of heavy metal exposure, mold, illness, and stress. Got EBV with the Lyme disease and everything collapsed. And then… After everything was gone, in the narcissist. More borderline in my case, but ultimately there are all the same. They only want to steal, kill and destroy. And they want to watch people burn. It’s just entertainment to them.
I went from 85% dead to varying between 93 and 98% dead. Several times that I almost went under, just in the morning on my way to work. Everything started to get fuzzy and blackout, similar to what had happened decades before when I had drug addiction .… Knowing what an overdose feels like, and then realizing that, though you’ve been sober for many years, you are experiencing that from the stress and sickness and evil of this person, turns it all against you and destroys your relationships and support system in the process!and then pretend like it doesn’t even matter. It’s not a big deal, or they didn’t do it or whatever. They just want you to die when it comes down to it they literally don’t care.
@@flamingsword777 that’s crazy, I went through so much gaslighting from the medical industry for years. Already had a major distress for them even before 2020. And all the insanity and bullshit from my ex in the middle of it. Lucky to be alive!
@@theoriginal7727 yes you are and I'm glad you got out! Not living authentically will definitely kill you, especially if you are very sensitive to energy of all kinds. It's sad that we seem to intuitively know more than the medical professionals what happened to us than they do. I went to an eastern, integrative doctor and leaned what all was going on inside me AFTER the cancer. I was still having problems and she actually told my ex, "I don't know what kind of stress your wife is under, but if it doesn't stop, you're gonna lose her. She WILL die." .I was already going though a massive awakening and that was enough for me to realize what was going on and I told myself it's either him.or me, and I chose me.
Narcissists move VERY fast in relationships. It's not uncommon to hear, “I love you", and/or be bombarded with love songs/texts/memes a few weeks after meeting them. By rushing into sex/intimacy, they fast-forward the relationship. They get their targets to fall for them before he/she can realize something is amiss. I believe this is also the reason they tend to be VERY good lovers. Sex is usually the “hook” in toxic relationships. Narcissists lack genuine personalities. So, they mirror their targets. If you find you have “so much in common" with a new person, your likes are their likes, and your dislikes are coincidentally their dislikes as well, raise your antennas! They may be mirroring you. This is the “soulmates" hook… You'll also notice that they'll spend more time telling you who they are, verses showing you. As time goes on, you'll notice the words they used to describe themselves do not fit their personality - at all. But, they will fit YOURS!!! Passive-aggressive behavior and irrational/unexplained anger, are also major red flags. Pay attention to how a person treats you the first time you say, “No”, and/or when things don't go their way… If they give you the silent treatment, grow cold, and/or pull away, do not overlook it! Most importantly, if someone pulls away, or goes silent, after you set a boundary - DO NOT pursue them! This is how they groom you to be the chaser in the relationship. It's emotional abuse/manipulation! Pay close attention to people who portray themselves as victims. NOTHING is EVER their fault! EVERYONE, including the family pet, has done them wrong… ALL of their ex's are “crazy” and mistreated them… They’re great, but no one appreciates said greatness… Simply put, it's bullshit! No one should have a laundry list of bad experiences. If they do, RUN, because they're the common denominator! Narcissists tend to have a history of failed/short-term relationships. Believe it or not, it's hard for Narcissists to find people to deal with them long term due to their instability and poor behavior… Superficial relationships/friendships. I've noticed they don't have anyone they're genuinely close to. This is due to their inability to bond and form true attachments to people. Their relationships are shallow and based on surface-level bs. They'll refer to someone as their bestfriend, but you’ll notice they barely speak. Or, that the person is never really around. Or, only shows up when it's time to party, etc. They may also speak down on/poorly of said “bestfriend” behind their back. Narcissists tend to be condescending, two-faced and downright mean! Based on my experience, they cannot talk about deep subjects (i.e. fears/emotions). Or, how a situation truly made them feel. Or, what their childhood was like in detail… They don't want to go there. I suspect, it's because they can't. They don't know themselves well enough. They can't connect. They also live in a world of dishonesty. They're very dishonest with themselves about who they truly are. A poor relationship with their Mother/primary caregiver. Underlying issues between Narcissists and their Mother's (abuse, neglect, don’t get along, etc.), seems to be common. People that I've known who've displayed strong Narcissistic tendencies, ALL had bad relationships with their Mothers! I think it's worth mentioning, their Mother's also displayed strong Narcissistic traits… I'm fully aware and understand that there are healthy adults who have toxic Mother's. However, if you're spotting several red flags in an individual, including this one, pay closer attention! They're selfish! Some are selfish from the very beginning. Some start out generous and slowly begin withholding. Some act helpless and needy. They manipulate people into doing things for them, but never give back. It's not only financial and material selfishness. They're selfish emotionally, affectionately, conversationally. sexually and with their attention. They withhold validation and support. EVERYTHING has to be about them, their needs, their wants and everything happens on their terms. Anger, rage, silent treatments and disappearing acts are common - when they don't get their way. Pathological lying. Narcissists are professional liars. It's their second nature. If you call them out, they'll have no issue staring deeply into your eyes as they tell another lie! You'll hardly ever get the truth. Even with unchallengeable proof of the truth, they'll hold on to the lie. It's actually quite fascinating to see them in action - once you know what you’re dealing with. They also have the uncanny ability to provoke doubt in their victims (even when you KNOW the truth), because their lies are so convincing! Beware of people who do not seek conflict resolution. Many Narcissists enjoy drama/chaos! Remember, these are high-conflict personalities. Many of them NEED to argue and fight! Peace to a narcissist, is what chaos is to non-disordered people - unsettling. This is why they repeat behaviors that trigger a negative response. They need tension, anger and high/out of control emotions. They're known for calling people crazy, drama queens, insecure, etc., but never admit what they did to provoke those responses. And, when you attempt to discuss/resolve something, THEY said/did, they’ll gaslight, stonewall and/or flip it back on to you. They're extremely disrespectful, rude and lack self-awareness. They have an issue with being called out on their behavior and project/deflect to avoid accountability. “Normal” people want to get along, for the most part. So, they seek fair compromises when conflict arises. Narcissists want to “win” and conflict IS their niche. This is how many Narcissists get their way - they wear people down via conflict. Immaturity. It’s one thing to be playful and lighthearted (in appropriate settings), as an adult. It’s something completely different to be immature. Narcissists suffer from arrested development. They do not know how to respond to situations/people/stress/life appropriately. They have a child-like mindset. They truly believe everything is about them and have no concept of the needs of others. By nature, children are takers. They have no concept of reciprocation. They believe their Parents (and everyone else), exists to meet their needs. When their needs aren’t met, or they don’t get what they want, they become mean and throw tantrums. Narcissists cannot think outside of themselves and their wants/needs - like children. They’re completely unaware that people are individuals with their own agency, needs, wants, opinions... They truly believe people exist to serve them. They believe their job is to receive. They’re children trapped in adult bodies, who cannot consider anything/anyone other than themselves! Above everything I've stated, trust your intuition! Narcissists give off an uneasy vibe. They try very hard to appear cool, calm and collected - on the surface. But, you can feel their energy. It's very off-putting. They also tend to have more noticeable negative qualities, than most people. But, you have to stop justifying and making excuses, in order to see things clearly. Accept people for who they are and not who you want them to be. Observe, listen and trust yourself. No one should be allowed to grant themselves a position in your life. Vet people and YOU decide if they'll be a liability, or an asset, to you. Lastly, take cues from your body. If you ever feel your mood changing, feel anxious or feel your stomach knot up, in the company of someone, don't dismiss it! It could be a sign that you're in bad company!!! Additionally, If you need to find out about a cheating narc; send a request to: Barryinvestigation@gmail. com
Informative. You might want to break your writing into paragraphs to make for easier reading. 😊thx.
Sounds like YOU are the narcissist 😅😂🎉
Thank you!!
I just have one quibble with what you wrote -- it's unfairly judgmental of children. Studies and anecdotal evidence shows that children can be capable of empathy and kindness from very early on. They can show affection, they can comfort other children and even their parents (I remember seeing my mom crying after her father died and throwing my little 6-year-old arms around as much of her as I could reach to try to comfort her in the best way I knew how. It was instinctive). So I don't believe children are necessarily takers by nature.
@gphishmon Gary, very much agree with you on that part.
I traveled around the world with a narcissist and one of the most disturbing things about him was his inability to enjoy the simple beautiful things about life. So good you pointed that! Narcissist take the joy out of you because they are incapable of feeling it themselves, hence they envy it and seek to destroy it in others.
Yes! I remember my narcissistic ex was unable to take in the beauty of a glorious Greek island, bright blue sea, kind people....I noticed my childhood friend was absolutely dazzled by the beauty, but my then-partner was irritable and impatient.
@@gobigirl1 Sometimes irritable is justified, it doesnt mean the person is a narc. They have legit complaints. But I see what you mean with people who are impatient and ungrateful they get to witness something most ppl on Earth dont.
Well said totally agree
They need constant excitement/drama
Do they constantly tell you how great everything is while experiencing the activity? I have a friend and the whole time we go out to a park or whatever he is saying "isn't this great it's so great" and on and on and I'm always thinking you don't have to tell me I can feel it if it's great. He is probably trying to get himself to feel
Supportive relationships are more precious than gold.
And more rare as well, there are very few people that aren’t dealing with unnecessary, unhealthy, daily trauma from toxic people in society as it is today. Narcissism is reward in our patriarchal economic system. A
Priceless
I hope that all of us find loving and supporting relationships.
❤
I have NO ONE!! Everyone I ever knew are gone.
1:20:00 "When people show you who they are, believe them." 🎯
you won't see it easily when coverts but they will make you crazy and you will look crazy, and they will look like a victim. master manipulators.
It such a terrifying experience when it's an attack on you as a human being that you know it's them lying 🤥
Good advice to tell yourself every day as a reminder. This is who they are. Remember all the things they have revealed who they really are, now run fast into the other direction!
@@lorimullen3680 Yes. ⬅🏃♂💨💨
So true! It's sad. 😢
Public health crisis- she nailed it. I predict workplaces will acknowledge it next when more and more people will go off sick as result of dealing with narc psycho at work
I agree. The only thing I worry 😮 about is how much reward is built into our current workplaces for narcissist behaviors
The jackpot is the walk away. 😭😭
I wish it was that easy!
Spot on
For me, the jackpot was getting dumped, but obviously, I only saw it in retrospect. In the moment, it was brutal.
@@awendigowithinternetaccess4400Agreed. It was absolutely brutal when it happened. Soul crushing.
@machinagirl *hug* I'm so sorry dear, nobody should have to go through that.
I ended up the hospital with organ failure due to extremely high blood pressure---
Once I kicked him out everything regulated.
She is not wrong. Protect your self .
Me too.
Similar for me I suffered some health issues
😢sorry , get well ❤️🩹
Thank for the well -wishes-- Health keep improving I feel all my energy come back and my light.
When I think back I can't believe I put up with any of that weird crap. Never Again.
You either love and be kind to each other or be happy alone🎉🎉🎉
Yes, almost instantly when I decided to remove my brother out of my life my very high blood pressure went down to normal, I no longer had upset stomachs, I was no longer anxious every time the phone rang. The relief was unbelievable!
Dr. Ramani: "Narcissistic people put people on pedestals only to knock them back down." This is very very true...
Yes true…it’s literally their M0: love bomb, devalue, discard😟
I wasn't even put on a pedestal...never nice or human....I really got sucked in ...50yrs....lied to me from the first contact with him.
@@carolgonzales4262 Well, they very much prey upon our insecurities, so if you revealed any deep insecurities in the beginning they used that as their starting point and didn't bother with the pedestal phase. There is no shame. If they can get away with it, they will.
@deborahserafin8253 heartless and at the same time gutless....evil evil 😈
I remember my boyfriend's ex wife saying (about her new boyfriend that was a heroin addict) I build him up to tear him down. Why would you even admit to that???
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing.
My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’.
Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :)
Additionally I hired a private detective Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Once I knew what the narc was up to, it got easier to get over that lying, cheating, sack of doo doo, loser. I didn’t need closure from the narc, I paid for it. Best money I EVER spent!
No narcs are never happy from the inside. The only time I have seen them show some sign of joy is either when they gain some material things, or when someone praises them.
or worse, when we see how they think everybody is praising them even when they're not ...
Yes. The grandiose mentality and getting aroused by compliments feeds the ego.
Feeding their EGO, which is not the same as happy
Like when parents expect better or different gifts or their special day cards but have never attached to you thus never preferring just to spend time with you
This is accurate
Narcissistic people completely drain you. You are so physically and emotionally exhausted. Doctors and friends conclude that YOU'RE sick. No one believes that the sick one is the narcissist in your life. Seeking counseling is vital.
Correct ❤
This is great 😊
I woke up almost blind this morning. He just told me I was a demon trying to make his life harder. I was scared. I can see better now. But something is going on. I attribute it to a possible stroke, I'm scared out of my wits everyday, all-day.
He's a demonic force, threatening me, trapping me, abusing me.
@@shannonwashburn4126GET OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!! They do NOT change!!! GOD bless you!!❤
I saw this myself. Once the narcissist was gone, my whole life changed.
So True... Currently Experiencing This Again & Life Is Becoming Beautiful
FACTS!! even my garden flourished
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, Doctor Greg Mushrooms he is a great man of God who has the great insight on psychedelic and mushroom. He will guide you on how to use mushrooms to get good trip.
Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?
He’s on the internet
Homeless, financially wrecked, lost job, depression, suicidal thoughts, yes it can happen to anybody. But it isnt the end, there always is hope
Love to you, yes it can happen to anybody. This all happened to me. I am sorry you experienced this, too.
@@terrylynndelman dont be sorry for me. I am a blessed man. I have three healthy sons and although I'm 49, I look like I'm 40. I'm healthy and free, lots of lessons learned. And she..I realize her soul is a destroyed one. Mine is not. And I hope the same for you
Yes this is my story too. God bless.
@@lisal311 thank you, bless you, too Lisa💪🏻💪🏻
Brain fog,confusion, doubts😢
It took me getting cancer and him immediately leaving for a new supply to realize. It’s mind boggling. Depleting. Can ruin you. Don’t let it. Do not let it.
I pray your doing great now love.im about to leave too.❤❤bless us all.
I am happy you survived and learned! I hope you healed well.
And may your recovery be the new supply for you! ❤
I’m so sorry that happened. But thankfully it did, that way you could release from the depleting energy
Narcissist are very hyper vigilant; always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And see a threat everywhere. And yes, nothing is ever enough for them. In 12 mos, I only saw this toxic person seem relaxed twice.
Yup. I was sick for years while with a psychopath. Two months after leaving him my health improved by 90%. Issues doctors could not help me with disappeared.... Mind blowing !
WOW! So well done! Congrats on your courage to get out of the relationship.
Wow thank you for sharing❤
may i ask wich illness you had? CONGRATULATIONS , i am bedridden and depending on a psychopath, no family no help, but i was already sick, he made me 50 % sicker and i developed more illnesses...
@@Nottygdrasil hang in there I’m having a lot of symptoms also this is definitely not easy.😩
Me too... Was on deaths door. Health improved 1,000,000% when I left 40 yrs marriage.. Without meds or surgery.
Watching this captivating video stirs up painful memories of the recent end of my four-year relationship. My beloved partner chose to leave, leaving me with an enduring sense of loss. Despite my unwavering efforts to reconcile, I find myself struggling with frustration and an inability to imagine a future without him. Though I’ve tried to erase him from my thoughts, his absence continues to haunt me, compelling me to share my feelings here.
Letting go of someone you deeply love is incredibly difficult. I was in a similar situation when my five-year relationship ended. I couldn't bring myself to let go and did everything in my power to get him back. In the end, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me reconnect with him.
That sounds intriguing! I'm curious how did you find this spiritual counselor, and what’s the best way for me to reach out?
Meet Fatherabulu, a renowned spiritual counselor known for his remarkable ability to reunite ex partners.
Girl I gave me heart and soul to someone for 6 years never cheated never thought of it for the 1st time ever . Love at 1st sight . 6 years everyday together. I was never right after awhile 4 years then it became push and pull till I bought my own house never stayed in it for two years . Push pull. Then after I bought the house we together but no title of boyfriend lol so we went on a trip to drop daughter off at college . Had a great time . Came ba k she went out till 1 with her brother so I was upset went to my house for 4 day to find another man at house leaf blowing only a ex boyfriend we're not having sex but his sweatshirt is on the bed lol games games and more games that's after attending church and praying together for 1 1/2 years . Crazy stuff . Run don't get caught up wither they want you or not run your free . They will be back protect yourself
@@SarahOhio-t7u
Hi how are you doing?
It Will pass!❤ how old are you ? 😊
My husband was a narcissist. We were married 37 years. When he passed away a couple of years ago and I could finally hear my own voice I had several realizations. One of those realizations was that no matter how much I tried or hard I worked it would never have been enough for him.
On his deathbed he apologized to me for not being loyal, respectful and supportive. But that just made me angrier. Why then? Why apologize when I would never have time to accept that apology?
2 years have gone by and while my life is far from perfect I feel happier and stronger than I had for a long time. I can do what I want., eat what I want, wear what I want to and make friends with people he would have complained about.
Live full and never look back
My story parallels yours but there was no closure or death bed apologies
I have lived that life for 54 yrs and my Narc Husband passed away 2 days ago. No he never apologized as he could not talk but I would feel like you….why now, is he guilty? Or is it he knew what he did was wrong? It does seem to have a voice now and be able to have a choice of food, etc. I wish you the best😊
Probably worried he was headed to hell. About him avoiding responsibility, not because he felt your pain.😢
Taking personal responsibility for our relationships is the only way to get & stay clear of narssistic abuse. DO NOT WAIT FOR THEM TO GET IT, CARE, or CHANGE.
My wife keeps telling me what a nice person she is. I tell her nice people don’t go around telling people how nice they are
Nice can be manipulative. Kind is better.
Yep, they don’t have to
She now is my ex wife
Right. My dad does this, I don't believe a word of it!
LOL True!
It's like your immune system trying to take you out of that environment by death
Well put!
That is very sad 😢
Very well said!
Wow…that is profound.😥😳
exactly
She is my hero- you are saving lives, I’ve never felt so seen and validated.
Bless you ❤
They say there's no cure for lupus, but my lupus was out of control when I was with my narcissistic ex-husband and now that he's gone, the inflammation and lupus markers are gone, too. 🙏🎉❤️
That is amazing! Good for you! 🍀 congratulations
Awesome praise the Father ❤❤
@@Victoria-qk3mu No Father, but she could be grateful and pride of yourself, she did, she make all the hard and difficult and important decisions. Praise herself.
Praise God! 🙏🏽
Good for you 😊
How certain are you that you have now had Lupus?
The mind-body connection is a VERY real thing. Maybe being alone isn’t ideal but it beats the hell out of being in a destructive relationship - on every level!
Being alone is not for everyone but there are those who are truely happy being alone. They have experienced enough to know how others choose to live is not for them as it depletes them of their energy to live. The extroverts attention seeking people are over ruling the introverts who also have a purpose as they see this reality completely different.
Radical acceptance and self care ❤
I am happy for the 1st time in many years. Today I paid in full my divorce petition. Thanks
For sure
I agree. Better alone than the constant tension. The worst part is knowing if you leave they will retailate, they just will. You will have to walk on fire to leave and it will take time to be safe. But never again.
I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and thought, "my God you look like you've aged 10 years in the 2 years you've lived with this narc." This video isn't a surprise but feels so validating.
Same
Same here
The same i see myself.😢
Same ! But I am healing, you will too 😊. I did some shopping last week, did not do so for two years ! I don't even want to wear clothes that i wore when i was with this predator ! God, this freedom ! 😌😌
Same here I’ve aged 5 years or more since he moved back from NJ after being laid off from a job that I only saw him late Friday he slept most of sat from airport boozeathon hangovers n Sunday he left again. Now he’s home all the time an constantly abusing me verbally emotionally constant lying just abuse every way!!!🥵😡
Yes! At 62 he made sure to destroy my life financially and without a home.
It’s been insane to have that huge grief! I had no clue what was happening.
I doubted myself and everything. And everyone.
Thank you Dr Ramani for such a banquet of wisdom and insightful support!
"Swimming up streams with rocks being thrown at you". That pretty much sums it up!
I've always felt like it was like riding a tricycle with no wheels up a very steep hill..
*add: while rocks are being thrown at you...
😐🥹
I have to laugh because it is so true.
When you can’t sleep as a teenager, doctors don’t ask about your domestic life, they just say “get off your phone at night”
Yep!
I had a cop tell me I should not be in my phone when my husband is talking to me! That’s how I survived!!! He was psycho later in the years and never displayed that in begginigm! So then we spend years thinking what the hell is wrong with us so we’ve been up with somebody like that because my life was never that crazy and then I hear it’s from my childhood which is BS a man can con!! I want to use the word man is because there’s not too many women they’re out there, but not half as many as men
This comment. This was my niece and nephew. 😢
@@Portia620 LOL, I don't know what part of the world you are from but in my world, women narcs outnumber male narcs twice over.
Well, when I was a teenager, we didn't have cell phones, so doctors would tell me to stop watching TV an hour before bed and just stop worrying so much. "This is the best time in your life." Doctors never asked me what my home life was like? Sad that nothing has really changed! I'm in my 50s and still have insomnia!
100% gave me cancer that I know I would have not had otherwise. Long term trauma makes you physically sick.
So sorry that happened.
Yep. I have just been diagnosed with cancer, no cancer in my family 🙄
@@TheDiamondEdge1I have Brain cancer from narcissistic abuse.
@@theartzscientist8012I’m so sorry!!! ❤God heals and restores!
Multiple health problems are very common in victim survivors of NPD abuse. From my early childhood I have been ill from the toxic treatment I received from my violent and emotionally abusive Overt Narcissistic father ( diagnosed by several Psychiatrists). I then married a man exactly the same in all ways except for the physical violence, and my health deteriorated even more to the point that I was told by a leading Nephrologist my kidneys were failing without any physiological explanation. That same week my ex husband admitted that he began cheating on me when I was 7 months pregnant.
Returned to live with my parents with our one year old child…He changed the locks on the family home and kept all of my belongings and I then underwent 15 years of court cases from the prolonged and traumatic divorce process to several custody fights, including legal proceedings against my parents and the police, 14 and then another 21 charges of contempt of court declared quasi/ criminal charges brought against me by my ex husband whilst he simultaneously perpetrated extreme parental alienation which still impacts the once loving and healthy relationship I had with my only child ( who is now 29 years old and her father disowned 4 years ago when she refused to commit an illegal act he was forcing her (through cruel emotional blackmail) to do on his behalf which monumentally back fired on him and he was then charged with a criminal act of fraud by the police that instigated charges of medical misconduct by the medical board). He falsely claimed he was suffering from a terminal illness to try to get the charges and the court proceedings dropped but I don’t know the final outcome) According to my daughter’s uncle her father’s estranged brother, the terminal illness was another fabrication. Her father then began a vicious smear campaign against our daughter hell bent on destroying her own medical career which also backfired on him and she is now finally free from him and his dangerous, toxic behaviour at considerable cost to her own emotional health. Yet she is free at last to live her life and is forging a very successful medical career as a Specialist physician.
After 15 years of using the Family Court as his main weapon of Narcissistic revenge he was finally declared a Malignant Covert Narcissist with Anti Social Personality Disorder ( court appointed psychologist vexatious litigator and could no longer initiate any further legal action against me. By then I was a wreck but I kept on going because of my beautiful daughter who thankfully saw through her father’s lies and returned to live with me for the last few years of her schooling. He wouldn’t pay child support yet was a self employed medical profession She topped the State in Biology, was Dux of her class and won many academic prizes including a scholarship to a prestigious university which paid for her accommodation in the college etc. whilst she studied pre med and then medicine. Once my daughter left for college… I was still so financially compromised by the years of financial abuse instigated by my ex husband’s campaign to avoid paying child support, I was now alone once more living with my family of origin… and at age 48 my life became a replica of my former abusive childhood where I was the scapegoat and the severe violence returned this time from both my father and my schizoaffective ( medically diagnosed at age 15) brother. Within 4 years I was hospitalised with severe malnutrition ( Beri Beri)
This video is so validating. Now I understand what was happening by living and being married to a Narcissist for almost 40 years. Life is sooooo much better after separating.
I’ve been saying this. It isn’t PRE-MENOPAUSE - IT’S CHRONIC STRESS AND FEAR.
I been felling like you .
Wow
Same
Me too
My PCP sent me to an endocrinologist. My stress hormones are through the roof & I'm vitamin D deficient. I thought I was dying of cancer. I am 112 lbs and had a stress induced heart attack, mid-February. That was my second heart attack & I am a 37 year old mother of 2 boys. I still have no official diagnosis & the things that were wrong with my labs are all okay, now. It is very clear that the dis-ease is chronic stress. I am very patient & forgiving, but this is all too much.
My physical and mental health improved dramatically after I divorced him. I am so much happier now.
Me too.
I am in the process of separating from the 3rd narcissist and only because of intense therapy. I wish when I was young that I knew what I know now.
She is describing my life. I truly believe everything she is saying. I am so grateful she is making this issue more public!!
I hope you find peace
My life too! I cpuld literally feel my body deteriorate when I am in the midst of text argument with narc husbands . I have shown my therapist the text chains from my husband and she confirms i am being emotionally abused by narc husband
Same here and can’t leave
Same Here Me Also! May GOD BLESSED US ALL!💞💞💞💪💪💪🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
@@Christine-jg3hf , my husband just texted me this evening ranting disparaging things to me about what i dont do , how i disrespect him, how he works so hard, etc. All i ever do during these situations is avoid engaging, keep replies short , and try my best to not get baited into arguing. He always threatens to leave, but doesn't.
Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for him, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.
It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.
Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
My Narrsistic husband called me stupid the other night, i said
" i would rather be stupid then evil rotten, and heartless."
I would never had said that to him 5 years ago. I love my boundries.
Good for you!
Be careful though, narcissistic people dislike boundaries and being put in their place. They typically start to plot against you. Remember their dillusional. An injury can lead to rage...
I wish I could tell my husband something similar, but I am afraid of his reaction....his rage....he can be violent emotionaly and fisically.
Are you still married to him? My simpathy.
Get out save your life
I agree that toxic people is an issue overlooked by most people. People are not careful about who is close to them.
We are finally coming to understand, and soon will be coming to terms with the age old problem of human evil. We finally have a somewhat medical and scientific understanding of how and why this happens. Now shall we have the political will too and purge the monster from humanity for all time?
How do we do it?
@@theoriginal7727 That is what I am here to witness. In the meantime I will focus on happy healthy humans as when society breaks I want no evil in my life because the ego destruction is not going to be pretty. Have faith that the fall of unhealthy controling systems will happen in my life time as it already happening.
As long as there is capitalism there will always be individual competition and the narcissist that go with that
One does not need to be careful if he or she doesn't think there's a threat. Metaphorically, you wouldn't step around like there were mines embedded in the ground if it wasn't a minefield. Growing up for me, IF I'd known, I'd be more careful, a hundred percent
I suffered with chronic unexplained G.I. disturbances and whole body physical agony for years. My physical pain was so intense that I would wake up from a dead sleep with tears streaming down my face because the pain had woken me up.
Almost instantly after leaving my husband, I was having normal bowel movements and my chronic pain completely disappeared.
When I realized what was going on and why I wasn't having those problems anymore, I dropped to my knees and broke down sobbing at the reality of what the abuse was causing and that I had a new lease on life.
Congratulations on leaving & your health recovery.
Me too! I also had constant GI issues and irregular hormonal cycles. Less than a month into No Contact I was improving. One year out now and I am regular in every way. The only thing I changed is my interaction with him. They absolutely bring a stress that makes you physically ill.
@@SilverStar82 both the clinician and psychologist that I see recommended the book "the body keeps the score" to me after I shared this with them. It might help bring some light to your situation as well! I feel like the physical impact of abuse is not nearly talked about enough. Now that I'm out and have a good support system I realize that unless you've been through this, you have no concept of what it's like and what it does to a person on the receiving end.
I've been out since January and I'm still learning.
It is absolutely mind-boggling. I'm glad you're out and hopefully thriving!
I had to go to a gastroenterologist who couldn’t find anything wrong with me and thinks my IBS stemmed solely from stress. I still have a hard time accepting it.
I had severe constipation for years. The day I left him for good, my bowels got normal overnight.
I’m so glad she is talking about this. When I left that narcissist I’ve been so happy!!!!!!!! THIS NEEDS TO BEBON A BILLBOARD. Narcissist are killing people
The system turns a blind eye, deaf ears, and no heart. Court Judges have admitted that they are not handling mediation comprehensively. It's failing the nuclear American family on a large scale, apparently it's an operation that's not completing a righteous goal. Just acting as a Bank in its most elementary form, and causing continued harm, by its inability to mediate from a complete and comprehensive view and judgement. Ask the court what a covert narcissist is and how to remedy, cure, remove the controversy, that emanate from the harms caused by their continued actions. It's almost promoted and validation of horrendous behavior. Needs to be addressed in a national scale, and soon.
Yes, especially those incel narcissists 😫😡🤬
Bless you ❤
She's correct. Toxic relationships will take your quality of life and then your very life. Caution, please don't think it can't happen to you. Be vigilant and be wary they are out there waiting to ruin lives. It's beyond sad and bad.
Thank you for taking time to warn others. You could be saving lives!
I'm watching a member of my family become a broken man , because of all these narc behaviors he's exposed to . . Please God , help him .
@angelashort1331 , Pls give him hope & guidance by texting him links to helpful YTube channels on surviving narc abuse & healing, post-abuse.
🙏❤️
They're demons. I exorcised my dad, by not being in contact with him. Or his flying monkey/enabling girlfriend! I exorcised her excuses, too!
Why do people/ professionals not call it out. We are advised never to call them a narcissist to their face but that's just sweeping it under the carpet.
“Narcissists feel entitled to forgiveness” hits different. Nobody knows this side of them and the trauma is nobody will believe you because narcissists are masters of deception. They will have everyone believe that they’re the victims of you and you’re doing something wrong by even thinking about leaving them. They’re pathological liars. Hope anyone who’s going through this gets the strength and love ❤️
Isolation with the bible and questioning God if it's bad to turn my back on my parent. Of course it is if they are evil and only mean harm towards you. I'm very careful not to speak against them . That's my way of honoring my parent. From afar!!!
My gosh! THIS
100% Dr Ramani. I am 8 years divorced from a malignant narcisist. I am alive and had to relocate. Not yet found a new partner and I am still concerned about abusive relashionships but happy to be alone and safe:)
Do shadow work and list what your weaknesses are. When narcs try to enter your life you will be strong and knowledgeable about what they are targeting (do they positively overwhelm by triggering your needs but too early etc). good luck x
They are pradators and criminals. Not because of our shadows or limits they prey on us. We need to protect ourselves first.
Omg yes, I’m very happy taking my space and time. I’m so lucky to have made it out, some ppl don’t make it
Alone and safe is a much better situation....
I walked away from a malignant Narcissistic person...they are scary and dangerous, it's all about them, their image, yikes
Never had a sexual relationship with, so cost wasn't deep emotional bonding...
Two weeks after staying with them I knew it was dangerous, took 8 months to GET AWAY....
It took the Lord, to make it happen, part of the equation is to trust and pray for direction....trust His leading, He know how to lead you thru and out!
All the best to you 😊
Dr.R: Without the narcissist, the group dynamic “was like silk flowing through the room”
WOW! That imagery!! ❤
They know how to twist everything you say, so it appears we're attacking them verbally, when it's just the opposite.
Twist turn every thing!
OMG! Yes!! You can not have a civil conversation or have a disagreement. They hate the truth or twist what you're actually saying and make it about them being attacked by you. Everything revolves around them because they're so insecure.
It makes you want to pull your hair out! Now I know as soon as that starts I'm out the door for good.
And they minimize the nice things you do and blow out of proportion some comment you made. Or you didn't visit or texted when you called them and went to their house.
My irregular heartbeat disappeared when I decided to leave my narcissist.
Cancer twice.
Toxic dad to toxic partner.
Free now!!!!!!
Thank God ❤bless you and pray 🙏 your doing amazing now
😁👍
I am so sorry your health suffered so heavily. I pray there is only joy ahead of you ❤
Omg 🥺 I have that. It flares when he comes back around.
Yay! So proud of you.🎉
This woman is an earth angel. No other explanation describes it.
So true! She’s amazing woman and groundbreaking professional!
She's amazing!
19.20 How the narcissit treats those closest to them as opposed to other people in general. SPOT ON! Such an important point.
4 years of trying to get out. Heart failure, ptsd, depression and anxiety but I got out
🎉🎉congratulations
❤
Thank God! I am so happy for you! I pray you heal unexpectedly fast, that you blossom in unimaginable ways.
Our physical bodies are highly intelligent entities. My body told me I was not loved and cherished before my intellect informed me of this reality.
Me too.
Wow . Just realizing the same for me after reading your comment I never realized it until now 😮
One of the stronger defences against narcissistic abuse is clarity. Dr. Ramani manages to put things so beautifully clear and grounded
Only partly since she a wound soul herself. Dr. Ramani doesn’t have more insight that a wise old women which isn’t the same as being an old wise man.
Clarity is better than gold.
@@kenhart8771😂😂😂😂 this comment shows you never finished elementary.
She is a Clinical psychologist with 20+ years of experience from bachelor degree to PhD she studied psychology so her words aren’t old wise woman words they are Scientific FACTS backed by research. Her life experience gives her more empathy nothing more than that . Read a little sometime😊😊😊✌️
This is another example of why I think the internet is one of the most important things to be invented in my lifetime. This kind of in-depth information wasn't available when I was young and forming important relationships. It would have been life changing for me. I'm learning a lot from UA-cam videos like this one.
Narcissists are a stressor for everyone in their life. I'm so glad Dr. Ramani is speaking up about this very prevalent but ignored issue.
I wholeheartedly believe that the stress of living with a narcissist makes you physically ill and causes real physical pain. It happens to me. Chronic pain, abdominal issues and autoimmune disorders. Also weight fluctuations. These issues were very very real, yet they resolved once I no longer lived with a narcissist...every time. Weight issues and health issues melt away when I'm not exposed to them. I am a very sensitive person. Maybe that's why.
I was left 44 kg (57 is the normal for my height) after caring for my dying narc and still abusive parent, while being abused non stop, insulted, barked at, humiliated constantly through all that ordeal by the nearly 20 younger sibling I had helped raise. They had only disgust, no compassion, no word of comfort, no kindness of any sort... the evil mfs were killing me so as to feel they have power over another human being. I fled the country, I cannot cope with the stress of having to do with them in any way, even coming across a common acquaintance provoked extreme stress.
@@nostromois If you can, get some good therapy from a professional specializing in cluster B personality disorders. The ruminating and the way you will beat yourself up and gaslight yourself after being raised by a monster is actually even worse than their abuse.
@@deborahserafin8253 I am trying to get there. Thank you. All the best to you, stay healthy and happy 🖖
Same physical aliments for me-for 30 years.
Once he was gone, so were the ailments!
It also affects things like fertility, thyroid disease etc.
I dumped my narcissist friend who was very bossy, controlling, insulting and incredibly rude after i started getting heart palpitations about our next planned outing.
"Time to go, no matter what".
Yup I didn't have any heart palpitations when I didn't see him but when I saw him my palpitations came back! It's so telling.
@@RachelleSmith-ic4sb Wow. Good that you realized it was them
Those heart palpitations i started to have by engaging with any kind of conversation with my sister
@39:09 It's very important to listen to the "Types" of narcissists to help you understand what you are dealing with in this person. I appreciate how Dr Ramani explains them all in detail.
It would be nice to hear Dr Ramani discuss how to plan to safely leave from an entire financial aspect, safety, securing documents to identify you to take, ways to actually leave if one had no vehicle, how to keep children & pets safe in the process.
They will not give you ANYTHING like praise unless it’s FOR something they need. They’ll change their tone. They’ll say what you might need to hear and them BOOM their latest demands. And knocking you off your pedestal. They seem to hate you. And twist everything you think you know. About life. About yourself. About them.
That's the absolute truth.
Norwegians
You nailed it❤❤❤
Universal truth❤❤❤
True that.
Dr. Gabor Mate writes extensively about the physical/disease onsets of being in a toxic relationship and stress in his book When the Body Says No
Yep. I love Dr.Mate!
Right, I have his book. ❤
He’s another master in the subject who explains things plainly for all to understand easily.
I love Dr. Mate!
There's a poem about your body crying. My PT read it to me and said that's why I probably had so many health issues.
I currently can’t afford therapy as a result of being in a very unhealthy relationship with somebody who fits this profile. Having access to these sessions with
Dr Ramani is what’s keeping me strong and ensuring I never go back. How lucky we are to have Dr’s out there educating the world :)
He had me pay for everything and I went into debt
@@zeroeightz that sucks, what a POS. I'm sorry.
This Dr needs to be given an AWARD!! She’s courageous to talk about Behavioural issues in our today’s society!!! She’s an ADVOCATE!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🧠🤩🥰
The analogy of the slot machine is brilliant. You keep putting in to it, to get little or nothing back. You get emotionally and mentally trapped, thinking if you keep trying, it will change. The truth that your body feels it first is so true. Stomach issues, heart palpitations, low immunity, etc. Thank you Dr. Ramani for sharing this
Conditional Learning look at Pablo’s dog. It makes sense.
So revealing when you say that they keep gambling because they don't want anyone else to get their jackpot
That was me. Trying and trying for 20 years when I knew from the first year he was a taker. I even read about narcissist but he is covert so I didn't get it. I felt alone, neglected, gaslighted, unworthy because I didn't make a lot of money
Yes. My narcissistic mother loved slot machines. Even thinking she could control them with her mind. I think casinos are a great place for narcissists.
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K mom mom moms mom k mom I I’m mom mom I’ll kkkķ
It’s crazy! I didn’t realize how in an abusive marriage with a narcissist of 10 years really took a toll. I was suicidal, had random unexplained pains in my abdomen that would end up in the ER, pain in my back, I was sick constantly and my hair was falling out like the movie the Grudge. I never struggled with acne but I started to get like hives in my face and even my lips were breaking out , felt like sand. The doctor told me I probably had an autoimmune disease but again, it was unexplained. Plus, I was so depressed and had low energy. Being away from all that now (almost 4 years) all those things disappeared. My family told me I looked younger and just glowing. It’s been tough but I’m in therapy and learning who I am still. But honestly, night and day. I never thought I would feel happy again, single and living life. ❤
People really don't understand I've been married to this narc not quite a year and I can't take anymore😢
I got scared when I lost weight I couldn't afford to lose, losing my hair and looking 20 years older....I honestly didn't recognize myself in the mirror.....but...it was when I ACUALLY had to Google certain behaviors I wondered to narcissist sites.....then I went down the rabbit hole...doing better now.....a healthy weight and thick hair and I am much happier but not healed....getting there
@@tdayy31better to leave now than let them cause more damage.
The ONLY way to appease a narcissist is to completely erase yourself and you deserve much better 😌 💯
I am happy for you that you are getting better! Those people are wicked,most of them are presume better out.
Probably have an autoimmune disorder “ go back to that doctor and demand tests to accurately diagnose you so you know what
To do about your health
I got triple negative breast cancer while working for the most toxic boss I ever had. I moved and changed jobs during treatment and was cancer free in months. I have PTSD from her which has yet to be addressed. Good therapists are hard to find and expensive where I live. Listen to this lady. She is spot on.
My 12 years of chronic joint and muscle pain significantly reduced after moving out. How powerful a peaceful mind could be!
Without you, Dr. R, I would have never known how it feels to be alive AGAIN! 💗
After 8 plus years of been in a toxic relationship I now have osteoarthritis. Was feeling the life literally been sucked out of me as the narcissist was living in my house and was extremely hard to conceive to move out as the supply for them was the roof over their head- until this month!🥂🍾Thankfully I became FREE during the 1st week of May ‘24 and I’m praying that my health recovers as I begin to rebuild my life again! Narcissistic abuse is truly demonic. Run away from these people before they lead you to an early grave! 🏃🏽♀️
So so true@@lastofthe70schildren70
Going through the chronic pain right now.
Being under constant stress can cause illnesses.
Living invalidated, walking on eggshells, burying who you are, daily soul crushing disrespect...all they do as Dr R says is toxic. When my bf of several yrs went to jail it was the best thing that happened. I cried on day 2 realizing "I can be me again!" What an amazing revelation. I never looked back.
The crushing disrespect... what a quiet murder..
....burying who you are....can relate to that...or maybe not even really knowing who you are and you get to discover yourself for the first time.
I moved in with my bf and didn’t know about narcissism yet, but I began experiencing chronic fatigue syndrome and fibromyalgia, it was a terrible 2 years. I made the choice to move out and after living alone with him out of the picture I began feeling better and within 2 months I was no longer napping during the day, but while living with him I took 2 - 3 naps a day, plus slept 9 hours a night but it was not restful. I fell for the hoover but didn't let him move in, I noticed after we spent time together or if he spent the night I felt exhausted. I finally let him go and have felt much better mentally and emotionally. This is so true and I am so thankful for you Dr. Ramani!! I was gaslit so much by the covert narcissist, possibly malignant because he enjoyed inflicting pain. He would bait me into anger and crying and would sit there smirking while I cried, very sickening!
Wow. I can relate only we have been married for 40 years. So glad you were able to get free and have some insight into future relationships.
I can relate.
Your comment brought back a memory. I would also fall asleep in the afternoons, I had to sleep & thought I must have some form of narcolepsy. Since I left him 9 years ago I haven't had to sleep in the afternoons.It started just months after we married after the 1st time he hit me. I've never made the connection before bc I stayed for 23 years. Thank you.❤ I also was diagnosed with Irritable Bowl Syndrome. My bowel literally stopped working,I could not go to the toilet. I had a colonoscopy & the Dr said that my bowel spasmed while he was using the scope in my bowel which meant he couldn't move it on any further until the spasm stopped. I was then sent to a psychiatrist & diagnosed with major depressive illness. I never disclosed the Domestic Violence but spoke about my childhood,etc. I'm realising that my toxic relationship was most likely the cause as my depression was not clinical, I didn't wake up depressed...it was reactive- if something happened I reacted to that incident, something that happened or was said or done by others.
I no longer have IBS & I weaned myself off antidepressants during covid era, which I was told I would be on for life. I'm 65yo now & feel healthier than in my 30s. I also avoid Drs & I don't get sick. Last cold was 9 yrs ago, just after I left my 23yr marriage.🎉
@joeythebushkangaroo1 It's crazy how much we suffer, if it was shown like physical abuse it would look terrible! I also thought I had narcolepsy! I even did a sleep study for apnea and it was normal. I was so depressed, anxious and exhausted. I tried vitamins, things for energy, had tests run for thyroid, etc and it all came back normal. I was also on antidepressants, the max dose and it sort of numbed me but didn't really help. After I moved and got away from him my life improved dramatically, I also weaned off thr antidepressants and my energy started to return, the fight or flight started to subside and it was shocking in a way because I felt happy. I had forgotten what that feeling was like. I still have some bad days or flashbacks but overall things are a lot better. Glad you were finally able to get away amd start healing. I always like to hear when someone escapes and starts to get healthy. 😊 We deserve to be happy!
Narcissists came close to killing me through negligence as a kid dr ramini is a superstar.❤
Narcissistic parents are destroying childrens life. As an adult, you can't find your inner peace. That's so sad. Not everybody can afford an expensive therapist.
Anna who does youtube crappy childhood fairy may help with that.
Many times they can’t identify it anyway they’re not criminologist they haven’t worked for the FBI. It takes years. I’ve been studying it daily and it takes time being around somebody to see it really close attention
Tim Fletcher has done a world of good for me working on CPTSD.
They have no inner peace, then they pass the baton to their children. My mother gave me just enough snippets of hers and my fathers terrible childhoods. That kept me feeling awful for them and missing every single sign of what awful things they were doing! It gives them an excuse because they gave more 'stuff', so you should be grateful and happy. The happiest kids I knew at school had parents who let their kids be messy and worse hand me downs and a warm loving environment
I AM an adult child of a flaming narcissist (mother) and an abusive on all levels father.
Yes, it DOES ruin children’s lives!!
After partnering with a expert therapist on PTSD victims, and going through an extremely painful emotional and mental process, I began to “see the light.”
This video is like hearing my thoughts I had for far too many years.
BTW, I married a flaming narcissist, very much like my mother. During the therapy process, I recognized the bitter truth.
Never married again. I am 67 years old and divorced his sorry a$$ when I was 37 years old. My daughter was 7 and my son was 3.
The supplier switched from me to the children.
The children were brain washed against me, even though I was the domiciliary, present, responsible parent in their
lives. THIS has been the most painful collateral damage of my entire life.
It took me a lifetime to figure out that you have to do this work at the onset. For years, I couldn't figure out why I kept ending up in relationships with narcissistic people. I guess I had to go through all of that to get to the point where I could understand that it is all about prevention! Boundaries! Gates! Fences! Discernment! Intruder alarms!
@@nowhere_else_to_go_ Exactly. *BEFORE* is the ticket. It seems so obvious now. How many years I wasted raging about people I let into my life.
what to do if you’re the separated parent of children whose father is a raging narcissist? They constantly call me in distress after he’s raged at them or attacked them verbally or gaslit them & caused so much distress that they’re crying to me…and I feel so helpless, because I can’t do anything to protect them from this monster of a human… All I can do is remind them that it’s his issues, not theirs, and that he is not behaving like an adult, let alone a parent… and I can see it’s taking a huge toll on them as they’re now in their teens.
And may I add also… armed security guard with bulletproof charger police car
At 55 years old, I realized I had lived my entire life in trauma! I am a child from two narcissistic parents who sexually, physically, mentally and psychologically abused me. Then, I had two narcissistic husbands, one that I have three adult children with and another one that I just divorced in 2023. From what they are talking about regarding health, I spent my childhood sick all the time, migraines, gastrointestinal issues, nausea, then with my first marriage diagnosed with cold induced urticaria, hypothyroidism and with my last marriage, diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2021, that came with restless leg syndrome, my hair was falling out in handfuls, migraines, daily nausea, and more. They are horrible, terrible people. Now, I have finally woke up and am trying to heal myself.
Wishing you a strong recovery.
@@rad-guidance7 Thank you so much! 🫶🦁
So glad to read you got out - I pray for your healing and joy ❤
You are survivor. I pray that you continue your journey. ❤
I have immense gratitude for Dr. Ramani and her angelic rebellious spirit. Dr. Ramani One of the best lessons I have ever been gifted with is that no one can steal your education away from you. Thank you for educating so many other survivors of narcissistic abuse.
One breath, one moment at a time…
I am a Life Long Learner, learning a new taste of self compassion and self trust. I am in the arena surviving daily . I am trying with all I am to be free of a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. My greatest inspiration is faith in Love. The root of all Love is God’s unending presence and showing me I am enough. I refuse to believe false truths and my life’s goal is two fold; break the ancestral chains of narcissistic abuse and to be free from joy thief’s so I can fully experience ‘Awe’ any damn time I want in the present moment.
Dr. Ramani…you are a great hero in our time. In Jesus name I pray you always have love, light and joy even in the difficult times.❤️🌈🌊🫶🕊️🥰
She saved me, my health is better absolutely and I cannot thank her enough
Best thing any therapist ever did was when my ex decided we should go to therapy and the couples therapist saw through him trying to manipulate me and I said how depressed the relationship was making me, so he told us that if my mental health was part of the marital issues, then we probably (mostly me) needed individual therapy before continuing couples therapy. Unbeknownst to my ex, the therapist recommended another therapist for me who specializes in treating women who face or have faced spousal abuse. Dude saw exactly what the problem was and he helped me realize it and build the confidence to leave my ex by getting me in on my own with the right therapist and selling it to my ex as necessary to "fix" our relationship. Really need to find where both of them are now and send a long thank you letter.
Angels unaware
So that person is trying to manipulate you, but all you talk about how depressed you are? Sounds like you are narrcissistic. Or both of you are.
I love this so much!!! 🥰🙌💕
This gives me hope for the profession. My Narc ex IS A THERAPIST - while he was studying he would sneakily tell me about Intermittent Reinforcement as if I was coursework but it was to rub it in
I truly truly am a believer. Now I have breast cancer 7 years after Uterus cancer. The stress and anxiety almost killed me. I could not control my diabetes. Every doctor visit showed a decline in my health. From my eyes to my feet. It was so not worth it to try to make it work. Nothing working with a Narc. It took me 30 yrs to leave. I wasn't crazy. These videos are life saving. They saved my life and have happily helped me to leave and move forward. Thank you so much.
Agree, 25 yrs for me starting at 65. No more anxiety attacks, heart issues, loss of sleep. I now have peace. Yes, it's painful to leave but more painful to stay.
Wow, so beautiful to hear your testimony. And how much a human body can be affected by bad people being around or not. This awareness is saving women's lives. Such a joy to see.
My mum sacrificed her life this is something I have realized over the last few years. And I dare say so many others have and will continue to do so.i feel like a good cry coming on thinking of my mum. I know I’m not alone. I honor my good times I had with her and she’s never forgotten love you mum.
That is so nice to hear. So glad she has you on her side. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue over 20 years ago. Grew up in a toxic household and married a very toxic man, and my daughter doesn't seem to understand. I wish my daughter understood more.
@Denise...... Daughter's Have Qualities Of Father .......FULL STOP 🛑
No~ such nonsense! This is a spiteful generalisation; also untrue and unhelpful.. in any curative or clinical setting. Think before you type!
I ditto what you say ~ my mother’s experience much like yours-in an age when even the courts litigiously-abused unsupported lone mothers (via male judges) up until 1980’s and supported the ‘rights’ of entitled, unfaithful NPD males and misogynistic and feckless fathers! I’m 70 now and know this as 1950/60’s FACT. It was mine and similar kids’ £ poor and distressed childhoods due to sociopathic actions of a ‘father..’ incapable of unconditional love. The only love they nurtured ~ their own Self love.
Any advice welcome, Please help:
I’m the mother of 3, separated for over 10yrs now from a covert narcissist, who has unfortunately remained in the kids lives although they live with me. He seems to have become even more of a raging narcissist as they’ve entered their teens & starting to realise the type of person he truly is underneath all the manipulation & lies. Recently his behaviour around the kids has started to get so much worse & more controlling than ever & if they don’t do what he says or if they answer back or say something he doesn’t like he will suddenly switch from being pleasant & normal to verbally abusing, swearing & threatening them, and my son gets threatened physically. They regularly call me in distress after he’s raged at them or attacked them verbally or gaslit them & caused one of them so much distress that they’re calling me crying…and I feel so helpless, because I can’t really say or do anything to protect them from this monster of a human, and I can’t get him out of their lives either, even if I tried to prove that he’s abusive towards them in a court, they are all terrified of how he’d react to them even accusing him of that, he’s literally mastered gaslighting them & making everything look like their fault or my fault… All I can do is remind them that he has problems, not them, and that he is not behaving like an adult, let alone a parent…
It’s really starting to take a huge toll on them as they’re now in their teens, and also on me, because I just don’t have the strength, the capacity or the resources to overcome this monster, and I feel like such a failure & like I’m letting them down by allowing them to continue to experience this traumatic relationship with their father…
😢
The most comprehensive discussion on this subject. Dr Ramani is superb and an expert on this complex mental disease and it absolutely is.
9:03 how others see them
10:59 definition
15:28 how to spot them
19:12 trauma bond family
21:47 individuation
22:39 23:46 goal of narcissist
24:54 not happy people
26:59 blasé
28:49 wounds
31:49 they’re aware
32:58 35:01 can’t change
35:56 gaslight future fake
39:19 grandiose
40:16 vulnerable narc
46:17 self righteous narc
48:46 blame
52:27 awareness
55:03 they don’t care
55:42 wounded people
57:05 DEEP
59:04 grief
1:00:19 bad moments
1:13:49 who you let in
1:29:58 1:30:27 healing/acceptance
1:33:26 survivor
1:36:26 1:39:08 forgiveness
1:39:59 self forgiveness
#U #r #brilliant #Period
@@conditioning8ct492 oh thank you! I did this at first just so I could come back and watch this and hop around easier to certain spots, but I’m also glad others can benefit from these markers too.
The first time I was impressed.
Thank you for giving me other great ideas
@@OasisJones I want to pray for them.And narcissists are so bad and I feel so sorry for them.
They're so miserable on the inside.It's crazy and sad
@@OasisJones Just blows me Away how cold hearted they are.
They will never have peace.
Of doing the right thing for the kingdom of jesus in heaven.
She does deserve the prize. She has opened my eyes to narcissism
To my shock-she gave me an answer for my marriage. I never could understand my painful relationship. Now I know, becoming a widow is so freeing!
I'm in process of leaving Mr. Narcissist. I pray I get out and away soon.
1:02:51 plan well , if he is the banker he will take everything .. hide money.
Get legal advice
The only saving grace for me was our child was born Aus, as l was served a summons for court EU.
He stool 140 k out of joint account , didn't work much of the 18 yrs , 1200 a month drug habit.
It's sickening...
Good luck.
I lived with one for 40 years I did it quietly after 4/5 failed attempts as I was hoovered back ,it was bloody hard! it is hard, do it and do it safely they are dangerous people believe me😊
How are you now Joseph?
Listen.... I am here for you .
You need to plan your escape carefully .
No more excuses.
I am telling you it is going to be hard leaving him
But don't find reasons for staying .
There are no good reasons to stay.
Your happiness and self worth are more important than keeping him.
There is no hope
He will not change . Every word he gives you is going to turn up being lies
Believe me girl ... its going to be tough
But you are more worth than staying ......
🙏🏾
❤❤❤❤❤❤
I've left my narcissistic husband of 17 years about 3months ago. I was on painkillers for 8 years becauseI just started feeling sick...I stopped taking them...I feel so much better. I use to suffer from weekly migraines. I haven't had a migraine in 2months. I'm slowly going back to training...I feel AMAZING!👏Thank you Dr Ramani for giving me a wake up call to realise that narcissists don't change! That's the day I decided that I was done and I was going to leave and choose me!🎉
True, they get you sick and never Ever take responsibility. You are couragous tor leaving! 🎉
I was sooo sick. Depression. IBS. Adrenal fatigue. All as a result of toxic relationships. Mother. Alcoholic first husband. Narcissist second husband. Narc ex romance 2018. Five former friends. No contact with them. Healing and recovering daily. Thanks to Dr Ramani my journey and growth has been sooo welcome
Too many similarities. I hope you are better now.
Similar story. Stay strong in your healing, and never forget you deserve unconditional love. 🪶
I got a new therapist, and I was out of a relationship in weeks after 20 yrs of abuse while having major health issues. Years later, I saw the old, long-term therapist out.
We talked, and she commented on how she watched my health decline year after year, but that I looked great now. She never told me that I was in an abusive, toxic relationship. That he would never get better.
I kelp, trying to fix him. Fix me. She didn't believe in divorce unless adultery. I felt so betrayed. I couldn't see the damage.
I told my therapist I was terribly lonely with my partner and that he was insensitive and often abusive alternating with love bombing and I wanted to leave him. My therapist discouraged me saying it’s better to stay than “find yourself utterly alone” and I believed him.
20 years later I wish I had left because I’m physically and mentally emotionally drained.
And yes with major health issues
I am very sorry that that happened to both of you with therapy, the one place where we put our trust and shoulder and should be safe place. Unfortunately I have also unhappy experience with therapy. I wish both of you all the best and healing, good for you, you are out of that relationship. 🍀🍀🍀
Mine didn’t either!!!
Therapist suck many times! Sad
When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..
Specifically, patients with a diagnosis of borderline, antisocial and narcissistic personality disorder are remarkably prone to suicide attempts and suicide (Blasco-Fontecilla et al., 2009b; Bronisch, 1996).
They never loved you. It was just to be their fan. They never ask you once,about our likes or needs.
Dr. Ramani literally Saved my Sanity, ..more than Once ! She is a Precious Gift to humanity !
I was in a narcissistic marriage for 31 years and the last one Yr before I decided enough is enough I became extremely sick. When I came out 4 months ago, I got healed almost instantly. Thank God for the healing, thank God for people like Dr Ramani who feeds us with alot of knowledge about narcissist. Am so much at peace. I WILL NEVER GOBACK THERE. These people are monsters.
I've been in mine for 29 years as of June 10th, since I was 19. I am stuck here, and that is my harsh reality. I knew something wasn't right in 1995, but as you know it wasn't spoken about. Now it is over used, and most truly don't really know what it is. We had 3 amazing children. Two of them are successful adults and live on there own. Our youngest is a senior in hs, and has taken on some of her father's narcissistic traits. My life is lonely. I have no friends, no hobbies, I have his friends, and his hobbies. I barely have a name. I am just Kevin's wife. My added burden is I've had Multiple Sclerosis dxd for 25yrs. But....Good for you. I am envious of you. I hope you live an amazing life.
@Bay-BGhost how do you manage? I know you have to be depressed and probably suffer from more health issues than you should. Is ot possible to take a vacation or maybe live in separate places?
Dealing with a Narcissist who has tried to destroy me for years.
Sill with him?
@@auraaura4656 Yes
Get OUT!
Lived this way 58 years, wore a full mouthpiece for TMJ my entire life got away 3 years ago, and haven't worn one since. I did have a brain aneurysm and wasn't expected to live, but I pulled through and will NEVER get caught in that again!!
Sixty years. I had braces, the "adjustments" were painful. Dad's cruel treatment of mom, women in general, especially me, wore on me, His lies, I am not in contact with him; he's an immture, insecure, not responsible(accepting his responisibilty-100% for abusing me), but blaming me for the abuse. I am done with his bullshit!
She is right I’ve had nonstop trauma since I was a child and just feel like I’m slowly withering away. 😢
Exposure to these chronic toxic relationships in all of their forms is truly the equivalent of exposure to toxic environmental chemical harm, if not on an internal vulnerable poisonous scale. Bravo Dr. Ramani! Mahalo for this conversation both of you!
Narcissists personify the old adage 'Looks are deceiving'.
Well, some of these narcissists ARE unattractive, too.
I have said for years that I take and take, and I finally blow. Well, now, I don't take. I keep toxic people out of my life. I have learned so much from watching Dr. Ramani, Jerry Wise, and others. Once you recognize the symptoms, you need to distance yourself. Knowledge is power! ❤
I am 59 years old and was born into a toxic family and married into one too. Today I have come to acceptance of the mobbing I have suffered. There is nothing I can do to change the gaslighting done to me. My health has suffered immensely. I am ready to heal.
This is why I advocate for those survivors of narcissistic abuse instead of those living with cluster b personality profiles. Even when they seek help for themselves, they still don’t care one bit for the stress and health issues they cause their victims.
Dr Ramani has a lot of haters that are worried about a label when the victims are losing their health, quality of life, and actual lives.
Ridicule, ghosting, public humiliation, fears I am alone,without support, living for years with !
I wish I knew all this information 20 years ago!!!!! Listen and learn young people so you can spot them early on and spare yourself from these demons!
You still have time too . Better late than never . No matter the age we all have one life why waste it with anything/anyone that doesn’t provide you joy respect and love
When someone shows you who they are, believe them. THE FIRST TIME!!!