I too asked my narcy ex that how he can lie and steal so much from me, he said situations makes a person do things. He duped me with false promises and stealing over 3years and now is evading police in 3 states. There was 1 more comment from him , he said honesty and loyalty gets sold in market for a cent. i m still doing my research to confirm what he was, a psychopath or malign narc.
I've never regretted moving from Romania to Canada in the almost 20 years I've been here, other than when I hear this guy saying he's going to Romania to do public speaking 🤣🤣
I lived in canada for 22 years and it's honestly been a disaster and i'm fearful there's not many places in the world that are really "better" or "different" too the point I haven't really talked to anyone since high school, even when I am "talking" to people i'm really just listening to them talk about themselves, which I find interesting but I wish I could be a participant without being punished.
The first 7 years of my life, I had nothing inside guiding my morality. But I got moved to a place where i was constantly reprimanded for everything, it sort of developed this delusion that I am constantly being watched. So I act accordingly out of paranoia. Leading me to believe that nurture plays a way bigger role than nature.
Paranoia often goes hand in hand with psychopathy from what I’ve heard from Prof Vaknin, this constant vague anxiety I imagine is amplified by the environments you grew up in which led you into to act in a meticulous manner. It’s interesting, nurture could’ve been responsible but I wonder if that general anxiety toward people was always there under the surface.
@@mukomyuku My memory is fairly limited so I cant speak too much on that. But I do remember instances where I was called "shy", "reclusive" and "boring". From which I gather I saw little incentive to engage socially. Wariness is second nature to me now, so might have been then too.
If I had ever experienced that little voice he speaks of I probably would have never done all the things that lead up to being in Rikers Island at 16 years old.
Many religious people are like that. I had a friend whose father was a Muslim cleric and very popular to the point that he would lead prayers for the local community. At home he was a monster. He would beat and abuse the whole family daily and one day he left for good without notice. Nasty piece of work he was.
I can’t get enough of your humor! Actually, I do not mean that literally, but I do mean that (very much) figuratively. Thank you Prof. Vaknin! You are always appreciated.
After studies on fascists, in their childhood, youth and further ways, on their 'normal' society roots, on blame - victim - upvaluing - group identity super heroes through the society, I can just consent. To 'normal' society roots he said something at f.e. the 4th (partial 3rd -) wave feminism specials* recording some days ago and at some other ones. The deformation in a special domestication. The last part at this record is to emphazise. The hints to the framed, biased, not understood concept of empathy(learning, to hold out, use it right and easy), the way of moral understanding. Such moral rules(black-white+ simplification) versus the at all aspects understood empathy, the connections and consequences with reasons, to orientation focus. The issue as well with recapitulation training over cognitive+ empathy, shame - guilt processing theories, the trying to walk in other ones shoes, with re-spect, so forth. *All variations in thoughts, believes, habits are actually parallel existing in society.
Wowwwwwwwwwwww We do have moral judgment but no empathy. I have been wrestling with why is it that I know that we send people to die in war for ego causes and it should stop me from wanting to further support Ukraine, but It’s not deterring me from not wanting that since it’s our hegemony on the line. It’s not wrong either. We fight wars. Is inherently wrong? No because we didn’t force them. Though, wait. There is mandatory drafting. Mhm. That’s violating your freedom. That’s pretty shitty then. I wouldn’t want someone violating my freedom. How can I justify wanting someone else’s freedom to be violated… have to think about this one… damn it. It’s forcing people to put their lives on the line for greed and ego… that’s the ultimate manipulation… In a way it strips those drafted from their sovereign rights, their inalienable rights that can’t be given away or transferred. Noooooooooooooo… this would make me a hypocrite if… But this fight is about territorial integrity (all motivations aside)… there was a physical invasion. So long as we don’t draft except to save mankind or something, if you signup for the military it’s your freedom to choose to to fight for your country. I lost my point… but i guess I did feel empathy. I felt conflicted, at least.
He never stopped because i was scared, in panic crying, only if he himself wanted to or his partner told him to leave me alone, left me there with a cold laugh or angry and sad because he couldn't have his fun uninterrupted. The joy in his eyes when i was in panic is haunting me. How can i learn to trust people, especially men, with my highly active fight or flight response?
@@anne-qg3oy Thank you for your words of encouragement, it means a lot to me. I'm so glad you're out on other side of the shit storm, wishing you smooth sailing with someone who actually loves, respects and cares for you.
Fantastic insight as always Prof Sam. I found the same, words had different meanings to them. The Law was something to learn in order to navigate. Mine knew better than most about social norms, but in order to cloak themselves.
After studies on fascists, in their childhood, youth and further ways, on their 'normal' society roots, on blame - victim - upvaluing - group identity super heroes through the society, I can just consent. The last part at this record is to emphazise. The hints to the framed, biased, not understood concept of empathy(learning, to hold out, use it right and easy), the way of moral understanding. Such moral rules(black-white+ simplification) versus the at all aspects understood empathy, the connections and consequences with reasons, to orientation focus.
When children transition from mainly receiving information and learning the rules in school or kindergarten- to questioning, disagreeing(and agreeing) and forming opinions… Is there a process of individuation from your peers and teachers that can be stunted similar to individuation from parents? Or is this a continuous process not focused at a critical age/phase?
Interesting: at least half the population is a conformist according to personality psychology. Someone who directs his or her live to common rules. If a psychopath only knows that a deed is wrong if it breaks the rules, doesn't this means at least half the population is a psychopath?
So the similarities and differences between empathy and morality, or socially applying such outside themselves are not as important here as them not having developed an internal drive to empathically engage in moral righteousness, and/or theory of mind in childhood or as modeled by primary caregivers? What about cognitive empathy versus the other type? Some of them do still have one type of empathy versus another, right? So it is a choice to just not reflect in such a way internally, kind of like if I can get away with it, why care?
Cold empathy is more than cognitive empathy. It includes reflexive empathy (mimesis) as well. Watch my videos on cold empathy. It lacks the emotional component and should not be confused with normal "warm" empathy.
Spitballing here, but could we not akin Morality to “God” if we assume it’s baked into our DNA? And if “God is Love” (“love” also meaning connection, oneness, taking something as a part of yourself) then it would make sense that Psychopaths don’t operate on Morality. People with Psychopathy are so disconnected from others they, ironically, project that everyone is a useless “empty shell” or “NPC” that needs to be programmed and utilized.
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath that’s what I thought. Do you want to share your theory on why you developed this way? For me it was the avoidant attachment with the narcissist mother and the authoritarian father who shacked up with Cinderella’s stepmother disguised as a New Age witch.
When I told the narcissist he didn’t have any morality, he just said: “you can eat your morality”.
Jeez ʕಠ_ಠʔ
I too asked my narcy ex that how he can lie and steal so much from me, he said situations makes a person do things. He duped me with false promises and stealing over 3years and now is evading police in 3 states. There was 1 more comment from him , he said honesty and loyalty gets sold in market for a cent. i m still doing my research to confirm what he was, a psychopath or malign narc.
Lol
I've never regretted moving from Romania to Canada in the almost 20 years I've been here, other than when I hear this guy saying he's going to Romania to do public speaking 🤣🤣
I lived in canada for 22 years and it's honestly been a disaster and i'm fearful there's not many places in the world that are really "better" or "different" too the point I haven't really talked to anyone since high school, even when I am "talking" to people i'm really just listening to them talk about themselves, which I find interesting but I wish I could be a participant without being punished.
This is the crux of so many matters, even for "normal" people. So many wrongdoings are done legally and without moral conscience.
The first 7 years of my life, I had nothing inside guiding my morality.
But I got moved to a place where i was constantly reprimanded for everything, it sort of developed this delusion that I am constantly being watched. So I act accordingly out of paranoia.
Leading me to believe that nurture plays a way bigger role than nature.
Paranoia often goes hand in hand with psychopathy from what I’ve heard from Prof Vaknin, this constant vague anxiety I imagine is amplified by the environments you grew up in which led you into to act in a meticulous manner. It’s interesting, nurture could’ve been responsible but I wonder if that general anxiety toward people was always there under the surface.
@@mukomyuku My memory is fairly limited so I cant speak too much on that. But I do remember instances where I was called "shy", "reclusive" and "boring".
From which I gather I saw little incentive to engage socially. Wariness is second nature to me now, so might have been then too.
If I had ever experienced that little voice he speaks of I probably would have never done all the things that lead up to being in Rikers Island at 16 years old.
Dear prof., I always glad to watch your new videos. Your stuff is the coolest stuff about narcissists in whole youtube.
Many religious people are like that. I had a friend whose father was a Muslim cleric and very popular to the point that he would lead prayers for the local community. At home he was a monster. He would beat and abuse the whole family daily and one day he left for good without notice. Nasty piece of work he was.
Yeah it's sad you can't get away from narco paths even in places of worship. poor familys that put up with clerk, priest looking good in public
When I read the title I thought the answer does not need such a long video. You proved me wrong. The video is great food for thought. Thank you.
I can’t get enough of your humor! Actually, I do not mean that literally, but I do mean that (very much) figuratively. Thank you Prof. Vaknin! You are always appreciated.
After studies on fascists, in their childhood, youth and further ways, on their 'normal' society roots, on blame - victim - upvaluing - group identity super heroes through the society, I can just consent.
To 'normal' society roots he said something at f.e. the 4th (partial 3rd -) wave feminism specials* recording some days ago and at some other ones. The deformation in a special domestication.
The last part at this record is to emphazise. The hints to the framed, biased, not understood concept of empathy(learning, to hold out, use it right and easy), the way of moral understanding.
Such moral rules(black-white+ simplification) versus the at all aspects understood empathy, the connections and consequences with reasons, to orientation focus.
The issue as well with recapitulation training over cognitive+ empathy, shame - guilt processing theories, the trying to walk in other ones shoes, with re-spect, so forth.
*All variations in thoughts, believes, habits are actually parallel existing in society.
Wowwwwwwwwwwww
We do have moral judgment but no empathy. I have been wrestling with why is it that I know that we send people to die in war for ego causes and it should stop me from wanting to further support Ukraine, but It’s not deterring me from not wanting that since it’s our hegemony on the line. It’s not wrong either. We fight wars. Is inherently wrong? No because we didn’t force them. Though, wait. There is mandatory drafting. Mhm. That’s violating your freedom. That’s pretty shitty then. I wouldn’t want someone violating my freedom. How can I justify wanting someone else’s freedom to be violated… have to think about this one… damn it. It’s forcing people to put their lives on the line for greed and ego… that’s the ultimate manipulation… In a way it strips those drafted from their sovereign rights, their inalienable rights that can’t be given away or transferred. Noooooooooooooo… this would make me a hypocrite if…
But this fight is about territorial integrity (all motivations aside)… there was a physical invasion.
So long as we don’t draft except to save mankind or something, if you signup for the military it’s your freedom to choose to to fight for your country.
I lost my point… but i guess I did feel empathy. I felt conflicted, at least.
Yes they can...but only if it is in their own self interests.
The professor speaks. I’ve learned a ton from this guy. Respect
He never stopped because i was scared, in panic crying, only if he himself wanted to or his partner told him to leave me alone, left me there with a cold laugh or angry and sad because he couldn't have his fun uninterrupted. The joy in his eyes when i was in panic is haunting me.
How can i learn to trust people, especially men, with my highly active fight or flight response?
@@anne-qg3oy Thank you for your words of encouragement, it means a lot to me. I'm so glad you're out on other side of the shit storm, wishing you smooth sailing with someone who actually loves, respects and cares for you.
@@anne-qg3oy Thank you, i want to feel better and it's a work in progress.
@@anne-qg3oy Thank you Anne, i take what you say to heart and will not give up. Love and light to you.
Fantastic insight as always Prof Sam. I found the same, words had different meanings to them. The Law was something to learn in order to navigate. Mine knew better than most about social norms, but in order to cloak themselves.
They do.........they are desperately seeking someone to say you are human .......you are not perfect but I still love you
Sam is awesome his offering his expertise for free in Romania 🇷🇴
Never forget they are criminals that have been able to avoid prison and a court conviction up till now.
Thank you thank you thank you in all languages.
Professor Vaknin, thank you.
Psycopaths..... my favorite topic!
Another great and informational video!💕😃📚
After studies on fascists, in their childhood, youth and further ways, on their 'normal' society roots, on blame - victim - upvaluing - group identity super heroes through the society, I can just consent.
The last part at this record is to emphazise. The hints to the framed, biased, not understood concept of empathy(learning, to hold out, use it right and easy), the way of moral understanding.
Such moral rules(black-white+ simplification) versus the at all aspects understood empathy, the connections and consequences with reasons, to orientation focus.
Description fits a first world country politicians.
0:03:54 - OMGosh!!!! You are too funny!!!
Yeah, that was a good slice of a great video!
When children transition from mainly receiving information and learning the rules in school or kindergarten- to questioning, disagreeing(and agreeing) and forming opinions… Is there a process of individuation from your peers and teachers that can be stunted similar to individuation from parents?
Or is this a continuous process not focused at a critical age/phase?
Separation-individuation occurs at ages 18-24 months. A similar dynamic occurs in adolescence.
OMGGG, you are coming to Bucharest
Write to me if you are interested in one on one counselling or to participate or organize a Q&A event. My email is: samvaknin@gmail.com
@@samvaknin Have you ever been to India also ? else where can I fly and come see you ?
Interesting: at least half the population is a conformist according to personality psychology. Someone who directs his or her live to common rules. If a psychopath only knows that a deed is wrong if it breaks the rules, doesn't this means at least half the population is a psychopath?
So the similarities and differences between empathy and morality, or socially applying such outside themselves are not as important here as them not having developed an internal drive to empathically engage in moral righteousness, and/or theory of mind in childhood or as modeled by primary caregivers? What about cognitive empathy versus the other type? Some of them do still have one type of empathy versus another, right? So it is a choice to just not reflect in such a way internally, kind of like if I can get away with it, why care?
Cold empathy is more than cognitive empathy. It includes reflexive empathy (mimesis) as well. Watch my videos on cold empathy. It lacks the emotional component and should not be confused with normal "warm" empathy.
43:00 but they do have theories of mind, which they apply
Spitballing here, but could we not akin Morality to “God” if we assume it’s baked into our DNA? And if “God is Love” (“love” also meaning connection, oneness, taking something as a part of yourself) then it would make sense that Psychopaths don’t operate on Morality.
People with Psychopathy are so disconnected from others they, ironically, project that everyone is a useless “empty shell” or “NPC” that needs to be programmed and utilized.
Morality has nothing to do with "god".
Easy answer. NO
Does a psychopath have attachment to anything?
I assume from listening ..ego syntonic intention..surely their primary drive is antisocial dominance ..at any cost!
Speaking only for myself as someone diagnosed with primary psychopathy I don’t have an attachment to anything or anyone.
@@TheFriendlyPsychopath that’s what I thought. Do you want to share your theory on why you developed this way? For me it was the avoidant attachment with the narcissist mother and the authoritarian father who shacked up with Cinderella’s stepmother disguised as a New Age witch.