3 desperate behaviors the repel good men and attract users .
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- Опубліковано 13 лип 2024
- 3 desperate behaviors the repel good men and attract users .
These desperate behaviors can hurt your chances with Mr. Right and drive Mr. Wrong
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What if the guy is doing this?? 😟
Guys do this all the time and they get called nice guys, or creepy, or soft, or bug a boo’s. This is basic human psychology. All I did was not specifically name men as doing these behaviors so everyone is falling out. These same behaviors are the exact reasons nice guys finish last. Men also have to follow these social guidelines. Everyone would be clapping if this video was titled “don’t you hate when guys do this” with the same list. Or “3 reasons why nice guys are so annoying”. Men do these all the time and it’s why women don’t chose them, or feel sparks or chemistry. It’s also why so many women prefer emotionally unavailable men. Not doing these things gives you a better impression of confidence, value, and self control. Sometimes helping women as a man is exhausting, because many of them insist on victimizing themselves with any information they don’t like. Damn near all 560 videos on this channel could be applied in both directions toward men and women, but women are my audience. Far too many despise accountability. everyone is looking for a social intelligence and emotional balance in a partner. Me pointing out how women can misrepresent themselves to men is not some form of oppression or sexism. Your question was a good one. I’m pinning this for might think that this video is somehow and attack on women. I’m not directing this answer to you specifically. This video could have also been titled “3 ways to avoid attracting users” but all some people heard was a man telling women not to do something. Thanks you for your question and for watching. I appreciate you for asking instead of assuming or insulting my intention.
@@KevHick yesss with this comment 1000 % agreed the whole thing I feel like its more self awareness… if you don’t know better you can’t do better or see what the other person is doing right or wrong.. it always takes two to make a relationship roles can be reversed depending on the situation you are in..
@MizzWiggy my comment isn’t about you. You’re awesome. I’ve been blocking and erasing inflammatory comments all morning. People intentionally misinterpreting and woman-splaining my video.
@@KevHick True. But no, I prefer emotionally available men, not unavailable. Acting like a child with texting isn't about emotionally available or not. I think maybe we're sort of not as refined with this technology, & get caught up in playing with emojis, but eh, we all need to learn the etiquette.
Same goes for him too.
Being lonely is better than being ignored. I’m tired and have given up.
🌹 take your time
Same
Same
Me too.
Same
I’ve learn to just retreat and leave men alone altogether. Too much of a headache to deal with all the hoops to jump over and tip toeing around. I’m good . ✌🏽
Same! Im done with these dogs. 🎉🎉🎉🎉
I'm tired of hearing "men are really simple" when they are not, they are a never-ending rubiks cube. One that I will never understand.
Girl, when I don’t have to deal with a man, I feel such a sense of serenity, peace, comfort, and most importantly, I feel safe and entertained.
Officially quit the dating game.
I'm better off without these pests. Too much stress, drama and chaos.
@@HSBsoulsurferthis👏🏽
1. Double texting
2. Early use of terms of endearment- using pet names and cute names too soon
3. Emoji mayhem- too many emojis seems desperate too eager for attention cones off like you’re unbalanced
"An f* boy wants to 'lead you'... lead you into the pits of Hell, into the depths of despair, into the abyss of relationship trauma... because that's all he's got for you. You gon' be a bottom bitch and a booty call." LOL ! That was too good.
I double text, but I also email and communicate for a living. I don’t care how it comes across as long as the convo is authentic and his response is too. If he’s misinterpreting my style of communication then he’s not for me.
Prrrreach.
I think what a lot of y’all are missing with the double texting thing is if he’s not responding you continuing to reach out does look desperate. If you’re just matching his energy and you both do it as part of the conversation that’s not the same thing. But thank you Kev for this gut punch to our feminine urges to do the most lol this is helping somebody!
Right. I should have defined it better. Just thought they knew.
@@KevHick no you said it but some people can’t hear past their offense. I’m in full support of these tough love videos!
I think it has a lot to do with context though. If you share something and you’re sure… continue with your life… that’s one thing. If you’re looking for validation, that’s obvious!
❤❤ facts he said it right just the people in the back didn’t catch it
Yes, if he doesn't reach out to you via text or phone call, just let him go! He's not that into you.
"Stop that shit" 😂😂😂😂😂
He really doesn’t want YOU, just whatever he can get FROM YOU!…#🏃🏾♀️💨
Remember Ladies...Actions speak louder than words.
It's so sad that we live in a time that were being used and abused.
No time ever existed when this wasn’t the case
@@KevHick You're absolutely right. Appreciate your service to humanity.
@@KevHick it was actually much, much worse. Some could not read, write or express themselves at all.
No one can use you or abuse you unless u give them that power if u seem bs upfront let it go then or else it’ll be a repetitive cycle 8/10 times !
The emojis point is so true. It tells me just how immature the person is and the lack of words they know to express themselves. Strikes me as not serious at all
😢
@@BibbidiBobbidiBoo2023I guess I’m screwed 😂
@Thats A Fact Jack Agree 100%! I hate emojis! You've summed it up perfectly!
A TON of men do this. ☝🏻
@@laundrybasket2689oop! That’s the truth! 💯
Noted!
I’m so exhausted. So many hoops. 😓
I stopped caring. I have no interest in what they want or want from us.
@@HSBsoulsurfer Almost there myself. It's too much.
Me2...its no use
Your style of telling us the facts is second to none! There's never any redundancy just concise steps!
A man started calling me baby right out the gate. I didn't feel comfortable with that. I am an older woman but he's an older man too so we should be on the same page as far as dating. I think an innocent pet name would be fine but not an intimate pet name.
Lol, yeah, that’s how their sexting begins.
"Lead you to the pits of he'll" 😭😂 Kev you got me in stitches!
Correct. He sees that you called or text him. Give him a chance to reach out.
Hahahah the voice changing is so funny! “ CAREBEAR” it has been years since I heard that word😅 This helps so much! Sometimes I am just tired of all these mind games and just want to give up 😂. But I’m realizing men and women are just made different so we have to learn how to treat each other differently to not take each other for granted! THANKS KEVIN!
I am guilty when it comes to my behavior of desperation.
I am too. When I get really lonely and get to swiping, and the options are awful, and then I Finally see someone I'm actually attracted to, I do too much.
Yeah. Unfortunately I’ve been that way with my ex ….
I like using emojis to help the conversation feel less robotic.
To better convey whatever emotion that is going on.
Because it doesn't take anything to misinterpret a text, it has no voice tone or facial expressions or body language.
It's just words.
Something can easily be taken wrong.
Emojis are for tone and texture. Some women use them to ass kiss 😘 😘😘😘😘
“Hey, Care Bear…” that one got me 😂😂😂
One time I dated a guy that I was just getting to know, and he was very upset because I was not using emojis or saying all the baby names early.
Spot on, Kev! I’d also add:
- Being Too Readily Accessible/Available (not being independent enough to cultivate a life outside of a relationship…hobbies or interests, etc.). 💞
is it the same if a guy seems readily available?
@@aishanusoul I think everyone (male and female), has to have a healthy balance of independence and interdependence in relationships; otherwise, it could come across as desperate, clingy, needy or controlling. That’s why we should take things slow and see how the other person moves and operates. The main thing to look for is consistency and how he treats you/prioritizes you, without demanding your time or smothering you. If he’s always available and doesn’t have a life, outside of me, it’s a no-go for me. 💞
@@aishanusoul No. The reason is because a man should be crazier about you and a little obsessed more than you are with him. It helps keep them on their toes and keeps them coming back for more. It CANNOT be the same for men and women because as soon as the balance tips in favor of the man, that’s when the woman loses.
@@mstenacious274 he does have a life but i can tell hes has a clingy attatchment style from childhood trauma..I can also tell hes aware of it so tries to supress it...
@@laundrybasket2689 i can see that..i walked away when he got a lil snappy attitude, & "felt bad"...i said i need space cause NOBODY talks to me crazy...lol. he called the following week, but I ddnt answer...
I love your advice and what you do but I cant help but notice the comments. Many women saying they are giving up and I have too. I was in this meetup group about how to know who is safe but there were so many rules of engagement that I just quit attending. I don't want to deal with people anymore. We've gotten to the point in this Western society where people can't be themselves because certain aspects attract terrible people. In a just and good world, there would be a bunch of videos telling shitty people how to be less terrible. People are giving up and dark tetrad traits are winning out. The amount of rules you have to follow just to interact these days is absurd. The human race is broken.
When you say rules of engagement for your Meetup what do you mean? I'm curious
@@ayooKondom As in the rules for engaging people in terms of who is safe and who isnt. It was pretty much an interpersonal training but if I have to be on the look out for so many red flags when engaging other human beings, I'd rather not deal with them at all
I see a lot of women ready to give up because they poured all their emotions into a guy that doesnt deserve it. Imagine what happens if you didn't give up and the right guy comes along! Dont put all of us in one category because you gonna miss out. This is a great video and there are more that can be added, especially from a social media standpoint. Would love to hear your reaction on that bro.
Your comment helped me alot. It's hard not to give up completely but like you said, I don't wanna miss out on a good guy
Humph...They only have to show/tell me ONCE...☝🏿
Bottom line what Kev is saying...is that if you come across desperate...desperate for attention...we look at you different...and place you in that other category.
Women do the same thing. And facts
@@KevHick men can smell & sense desperation quicker than you’d ever think!
What if they are both "desperate" lol
@@Kerrviii Facts! Sometimes it's little things like where you stand in a spot...or how you stand. FR
@@aishanusoul Good question. I be at work and be shaking my damn head at these ppl. But then I look at her, like oh she's super desperate and he's a player...so I kinda get it..even though it's still sad. Like Mann. Hell, I'm at work right now...and I just be shaking my head at all these ppl. Especially this player barback that holla at Every Single thick lady here...and they seem to all fall of his smooth player games. I just be like 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
👸it ain't official if u ain't with him on main holidays, met his closest family👪 friends, mentors & consistently makes u priority one via any free time he has & his wallet💰if he doesn't provide for u, he don't want u👎🙅♀️😌🏃♀️!
About 20 years ago I met a guy who exchanged numbers with me. He actually came over to me to get my contact information ℹ️. During the time he was around he never reached out or initiated contact. All the texting came from me. I had to move on from him as he got close to my other friends. I later found out he was contacting a girl from his hometown.
Timely and much needed content, Thank you 🙏🏼
I'm Re-Presentative, Not Re-Presentation:
1. "Girl, I Just Gave Him the Money" Is Not "Shit, I Just Pulled Out my Pistol, I Don't Have Time" After the Fact:
2. Usually, Females Talk In Confidence, But, It's Time to Communicate, and Not only Agreement.
3. "Kev Hicks" might Not Be the Man You Marry, the Man You Marry might Not Agree With "Kev Hicks", and You might, Eventually, Dis-Agree With the Man You Marry, and/or "Kev Hicks".
😶.
Respectively.
Tanika Nakeya Lewis, 6127
Hey boo bear, hey care bear..has me DYING laughing!!!
I just treat a mthafka the same way or worse. ✌🏼
These are pure facts!!!! I am going through this now.. wish I heard this a few months ago.. now I am being abused and used.. got to stop him from treating me this way today!!!
“Lead you into the pits of hell” 😂
I hate when guys use pet names when we aren't close. I also hate when they text every day or every time they are bored & I don't want to talk to them.
I love your honesty!! Thank you
Is there a certain type of emoji you’re talking about? I’m not using romantic emojis, just shoulder shrugs, face slaps, or crying laughing 😂😂.. …oops I did it again!!!!
The amount is more of the problem not the type. Use them but some people Will paragraph text with as many emojis as letters. It signals anxiety about how what’s being said is being received. For instead you state a clear boundary then 3 😂😂😂 to soften the blow. Or a bunch of these 😂☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️anytime a man finally responds to a text. Signaling being flattered and honored by simple texts from him. Ass kissing and sugarcoating with the use of emojis
@@KevHick oh ok! Makes sense. Thanks Kev!
🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️ I got alot of healing and self reflection to do ...
Great explanations as usual, thanks Kev
Thank you for being all in my business because I needed to hear this!!!
Lol, I love using emojis. Thanks for the info 🙋🏽♀️
Use them. Just don’t overuse them
hey care bear... this gt me spit my coffee out 😂😂😂
Thank you. Definitely on point
I’ll just remain single. Dating in this day and age is becoming a headache and turns into bs.
I agree. I can be one of these sometimes too but I'm working on it
PERFECT! Didn’t even know these things were a thing…I do most of these things tryna be an efficient communicator…damn
Great advice, Kev! It all makes good sense. Also, I love your lion photo in the background. Roar!
Kev. You were a complete savage on this one . I was laughing so hard at some of your punch lines..😂😂😂opps too many emojis 🤣.
Thanks Kev, As usual I have something that happen to me with a guy . Then God sends me your video after my error in the situation to teach me a lesson. I absolutely love this video💕💕
What's funny is I always get told that I sound like I'm upset or too serious because I don't use emoji's or type in very well constructed sentences. Many of which can almost look like a paragraph because I hate sending multiple messages. If I do use an emoji, it's to either sound a bit more friendly since correct grammar and punctuality seems to intimidate others these days, or I use them if I feel comfortable enough to send a meme. If I open up a bit and become chatty, but see that they don't put effort into being as responsive despite being bothersome with small surface level chats, I back off entirely. I adore mental stimulation and dark humor. Seems to be a drought of such things these days, but this video definitely gives me some insight on how I may be coming across to some if my comfort levels are triggered sooner than they should be. I'll stick to my unimpressed deadpan style and see what effort they put in if they weren't being users to begin with. Thanks again Kev!
Volume is the key. Not “don’t use them” just don’t use them to ass kiss and sugarcoat each message.
If just meet maybe getting straight to the point of setting a date in a non-creepy environment. Save the deep conversation for face to face where people can see the context better not misinterpret. As relationship progress and you have developed inside jokes or a humor you share then expressing in text comes of different then doing so as a stranger with uncertainty if your serious or dangerous
@@bunnyboo6295 This applies to friendships and potential relationships in my experience. Most people contact me online and tend to always be either too far to casually meet in person, or they want to meet with the wrong intentions. I’d absolutely love to have such conversations in person, but I seem to be the minority in that regard. I’m not searching for a relationship right away. If things can’t start off as a friendship and grow into more, it would never get to me having such conversations with them in person.
Too many people try to rush things these days, unfortunately.
Thank you, Kev
You are a lifesaver! I kinda do 1 or 2 of these things but I do it to display likableness I had no Idea I was being received in a desperate way!
Man you are so straight up, thankful I found your channel today. 😂
I love him, he so real...I feel like my big brother is talking to me 😂
I appreciate this information thank you I needed to hear this..😮 listen to the words of wisdom
Thank you, preach 🎉
Kev you hurt my feelings because I have done all of these things and never got the desired results from guys without good intentions😕Intuiton when ignored can be detrimental
🙄cringe to say that
Dang err-body gets the emoji’s! I can’t help I am an internally happy person Kev! Taking notes 📝 Thank you!
Thank you so much. I did the first one, i did make a lot of mistakes with a guy. I didn't know what i should or should not do. I learned a lot. Will do better next time.
"Not a bottom bitch...booty call"! Kev😂 But I hear you, these were great tips.👌
😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅. Leaving you in the pits of he'll. So true. I was drinking something. Now it's everywhere.
KEV, I have to say something… you really have become my favorite dating coach. Your statements are so real and to the point. Already at the beginning of the video you give clear information. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR WORK ❤
Thank you! I appreciate you understanding my intentions and watching my content.
good one. Super useful
When you look at us dead in the eyes I dieeee😂😂😂 I walked away from him big bro. He no longer has access to me and he never got to touch me or get my reaction. He ended up following 100 girls immediately once I left. I’m focusing on my purpose and learning. I hope you’re proud 💪
I am
Thanks Kev
Preach!!!!
Yea 5 years later he desperately came back. I asked him why he treated me like he didnt care and ignored me, he admitted it and said he just wanted to do that to me. He just wanted to be an asshol to me. 🤷🏽
“Stop that shit. Don’t do this” 🤣🤣 but I sound like a guy when I don’t. I hate this but this had me dying
I always shut down pet names. I see it as them not remembering my name. My name is a vibe in itself... you can keep all the extra. I guess a lot of f boys approach me because they do all the desperate stuff you mentioned to me. Why am i attracting feminine men,if this is advise for woman not to do. I will fall back after no reply/call then get a wow, you forgot me already weeks later.
Double texting
Terms of endearment
Emojis
Right on 🤙
Great Video
Thank you lisa
I'm not looking for a relationship or a situationship right now I'm happy being single and not dating... and whatever guy talks to me I treat as one of the girls like an actual friend with no intentions to get intimate with so I have no problems in double texting or sending multiple messages. Coz at the end of the day I'm not here to impress.
You're lying to yourself. If you don't care, why would you double text him?? And sending multiple messages??
In general, you don't double text people even if it's your friends
And yet here you are, studying on a dating advice channel 😏
I'm laughing because your face expressions are so on point!!! Ty for this video
Oop 😂 kevin is too raw
Texting constantly throughout the day is girlfriend/wifey status. Texting is only for making plans & where are yous
Painful but very true about me.
For most women unfortunately 😕
Sometimes I use emoji’s bc I feel too lazy to give the effort of saying anything or I just don’t know what to say and don’t want to be rude by not replying. I appreciate you telling me that
And, I'm Doing This With-Out a Fee 😶:
1. Desperation Is a Matter of Personal Perspective: Why? Many Males Desire to "Evolve", But, only By Social Developmental Sophistication: They Desire to Do What They Couldn't Do, Until They "Catch Up" to Their Present Moment. Many Individuals Cognizantly Perceive Their Loss of "Presence", and Refuse to Do Their "Now", With-Out any Previous Affirmation (Why Not?), As Their Rationale of Their Present Validation (a Competition Tactic).
2. Despair only Attracts One Thing: Disparity. Exactly As any other Addict Attracts Co-Dependence.
3. However, Desperation Isn't Exactly Attention-Seeking: many Agonizing Situations Attract Predators.
4. I Am Tired of every Body Pretending that They Believe Their Co-Parent Support Payments Should Continue to Exist As "Stopped" Because "No Response" Means "No" to the Same Individuals, About Co-Parent Support Payments: When your Baby-Daddy Is Un-Responsive, It Don't Necessarily Communicate "No": Baby-Mommas, Either.
5. Arrogance Isn't Narcissism, and All Arrogance Isn't Audacious: the Requirement of Males, of any Society, Is to Contribute or Sit, Sit Still and Sit Quietly, Until Given Further Instructions. Males Are Competitive to Eliminate: Nothing More and Nothing Less. Not any Body Cares About His Feelings. Really.
6. What Is Fraud? The Concept of Construction, and Construction Is the Concept of Art: Imagination Is the Concept that Evolves from the Concept of Fantasy: Fantasy Is a Perspective of In-Sanity, In-Sanity Is a Perspective of Non-Intoxication Drunkenness, and By Technicality, Fraud Includes the Actuality of Entitlement, When Mutual Consent Exists (Reference Point 4): a Vacuum Sales-Man only Sales a Vacuum that Actually Arrives As Purchased.
7. My Rationale Is also During "Dates": I'm Not Perceptive As "Fun". My Temperament, Tonation and General Personality Is "Slow to Anger", Not "Quick-Wit".
8. Fear Is the Perception of Potential End of Influence: Death. What Ever, Exposed, As If It Isn't.
Fear Isn't Requisite of Psychology, But, Is Possible of the Actuality of Sensational Perception, By Nervousness and Hormonal Conduction (Adrenaline Rush: the Same of also Anger).
a. Fear Etymology: "late Middle English: from Old French, or from medieval Latin influentia ‘inflow’, from Latin influere, from in- ‘into’ + fluere ‘to flow’. The word originally had the general sense ‘an influx, flowing matter’, also specifically (in astrology) ‘the flowing in of ethereal fluid (affecting human destiny)’. The sense ‘imperceptible or indirect action exerted to cause changes’ was established in Scholastic Latin by the 13th century, but not recorded in English until the late 16th century."
9. Personal Names that Indicate "Intimacy, Such As Terms of Endearment Similar to "Daddy", Etc.: It Is a Terminology of Endearment that Affords only a Specific Group, Entrance. Not any Other: my Father's Name Is on my Birth Certificate.
10. Rental Expenses Don't Mean Rental Payments (Literally or Truthfully), and Rental Payments or Desperation Isn't Necessary of Vestment: "I'm Here" Requires Contribution, Not Necessarily Compensation, Self-Extensively. 😶.
Also, the Idea of Self, Personally, Occurs Well Before Age Four Years, Inclusive As Administratively.
a. "Developed from psychology and sociology, the concept of self extension means that an individuals' concept of his or her own self can extend outside the body (Belk, 1988)." Self extension and the desire to preserve digital possessions - Cushing - 2011 - Proceedings of the American Society for Information Science and Technology - Wiley Online Library , Self‐extensions: A Conceptualization - LANCASTER - 1988 - Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour - Wiley Online Library
b. "n. according to Gordon W. Allport , an early stage in the development of the proprium or self, beginning roughly at age 4 and marked by the child's emerging ability to incorporate people, objects, and abstractions into the self-concept." APA Dictionary of Psychology
c. "Gordon Allport introduced the term proprium into the psychological study of personality. The proprium refers to the person's sense of self, and this awareness contributes to lifelong personality development." Proprium | SpringerLink
d. Propius Definition: "proprius (feminine propria, neuter proprium); first/second-declension adjective. appropriate to oneself: (one's) proper, (one's) own (inalienably) belonging to oneself as property, or goods: (one's) own (alienably)." proprius - Wiktionary
Respectively.
Tanika Nakeya Lewis, 6127
I'm single and content by myself so I don't have to worry bout this LoL but that's good advice tho. 👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Im 38.....single....maybe over the hill. Ive made some awfully desperate mistakes in the past.....gave so much with so little back.
Edit; but tried dating again briefly. Wow have i learnt some self respect and bounderies.
Voice changing🙌🏾😅😅
To get one on one coaching from me go to www.girltalkwithguys.com
To support my family and channel on patreon go to www.patreon.com/KevHick
To be a blessing hit my cashapp $kevhick or my venmo @kevhick24
To get results apply the advice to your life.
Thanks for watching.
Always quality and it’s rare that men look out for women like this! Thanks Kev! I definitely need to book with you.
@@Kerrviii please do. I’d love to speak with you
Keep your dignity ❤❤❤
This man is great! Love watching your videos
Thanks for watching
Wow. My pig of an F boy is broken. Either that or I can even freak that out. Lmfao. Thank you.
So showing genuine interest turns a man off? Have you dated recently? These manipulative games are so cringe. if you want to send long double text, and he doesn’t like it, then HES NOT THE ONE FOR YOU!! It’s that simple You can’t hide from rejection
No. Don’t commit yourself to misunderstanding this video. You have the wrong idea. Women judge men for similar habits. There’s no manipulation here. No games. With love
I agree!
Yeah I like sending long double texts now and then.... but often I just write it down for myself, text him "OMG something happened! I'll tell you all about it!" and discuss it later.
This way he has an equal opportunity to participate without spending an hour pressing buttons.
I also ask "are these long messages annoying?" and he says he loves them, but would rather reply in another way.
So it's not as simple as "don't double text".
Some guys 7-text me with long messages, and I love it! It shows confidence.
"Bottom bish and booT call"...😂 i wish i might!
💯💯.
Lol all facts 😂
I will admit I have sent memes or TikTok’s to men I wasn’t really into, just to fill time. They try to suggest something sexual and I can’t get offended… I just ignore it and keep it pushing.
I have to work on me and this broken relationship im in he takes me threw the highs and the lows all the time i broke it off with him but we have kids and what i now know is also having a trama bond with him too when i broke it off we still lived under the same roof i got so depressed and decided to give a man who had been asking to take me out for 6 months straight a chance wrong decision for the same reasons you have stated this only lets me know that i just really need to focus on myself
what if he's triple texting ?! 😂love u take care ❤
People play way too many games!!!
11.13 what a specific example😂.
I just deleted a user f boy 2 days ago. It was ok because I wasn't emotionally invested.
Boo bear 😂😂😂
When men use terms of endearment on me too soon how do I communicate that I don't like that.
Tell it like it is sir old school 65 ab