Does this work? And does this help for a future for both of us rekindling and starting over?
3 місяці тому+31
@@frankiegates4149 No other formula is as effective. But silence is no joke and patience. I mean 2,3, 4 months. Sometimes 6 months or a year. But be patient and don't go on social media pretending to be Mr. Popular, it's phony. Just don't post anything that makes you look needy or angry.
Based on my experience, you need to focus on yourself until someone will attract to you because of your worth or value as a person. Do not chase you attract
I realized that tryng to chase by 4 years I was never able to get something till I started focusing in myself, then in less than 6 months, I just got to the point that I didnt even know what to pick up, I mean girls, friendships, paths, evertyhing has to start by us not by outside
You can’t get them back because that relationship is already gone, but you can have a new one with the same person because you are now different people…. Wow I love this. Thank you for this
No one is our savior, except ourselves. We need to feel complete on our own, we have to fullfill ourself. I have a text on my wall in my living room "Be the energy you want others to absorb".
@@obscurereferences7198Jesus is the messenger of Allah and the Messiah, not your saviour, nor did he die on the cross. He will bear witness against you. So be warned of a tremendous day and leave the Christian delusion created by paul the liar
It happened with my mother... She was anxious and attached to a life where her son was present and making her feel safe and loved.. I told her one day, while she was in tears, "You have lived your life and created and nurtured a beautiful family, allow me to live my life and create my family". At first she was scared, that her life would be worse without her son... It's been a year and now she's even more excited when i visit and tells me all about the life she now lives (she went back to reading more, wants to start writing). She has recovered her hobbies and passions and that's what you all need to understand, and so do I. Once we let go of what fills our heart, the hole can be filled with new opportunities, new people, new activities, new philosophies of life that can inspire us to become something much different and much greater. We start living the life we want to live, not the life that others want for us. There is nothing more inspiring than knowing that a heartbreak or a loss can be a blessing for allowing us the opportunity to grow and become what our soul wishes we become.
@@luisabatistasamoraI'm totally agree with you because we can't depend our happiness to someone or things, cause the most important we need to create our own happiness,work on our self to be a better version of your slef
You're welcome! There's nothing wrong with chasing someone, per se. It's more that we're often actually running away from ourselves and abandoning our own inner power in order to do so. Often when we feel the need to chase, or to prove our worth to the person we're interested in, it can come from a situation where early in life we felt we needed to prove ourselves to our parents, maybe we needed to achieve or people please in order for them to be happy, or had to make sure everything was perfect. In my case, this was paired with a deep rooted fear of abandonment. The crazy thing is that this fear of being abandoned by somebody else causes us to consistently abandon ourselves. We change the way we behave, what we say and do, in order to please other people. We start to make them happy at our own expense, hoping to fulfill that pattern and make sure they won't leave us - all the while subtly sending ourselves the message that WE don't have our own backs. Just keep doing your best and learning and growing from the experience and giving yourself some grace when you temporarily slide back into old patterns. We're all doing the best we can!
I feel you man! Dated this girl for a little under 6 months, felt like she was the best thing to have happened to me, everything was rock solid but then at the end of the 5th month I started feeling her pull away. Couldn’t make sense of it and that completely threw me off my rocker. 1 week before we would’ve completed 6 months together she ended things with me because of something that happened in bed. I made a mistake but she just decided to leave me straight away. Tried reasoning with her and ended up chasing her in the process for the next 6 months. Went to her home drunk, called her friends, cried, did everything. It’s been over 8 months since our break up now and I still haven’t moved on but I have not contacted her in over 2 months. I’m trying to finally let it go and move forward with life and trying to love myself. God has a plan for me, just like everyone else! :)
@@Caolan-b6r my sadness turned to anger for a bit, but now I am not as sad about it. Been pursuing other people and have been letting go. It's gotten easier.
@@andrewvanhoffCan we go by an example? I see a hot girl I want to meet. By approaching her, to meet her, I am by default being needy and chasing her. How can I approach, show interest, meet but NOT be needy and build attraction?
I was always strong and hiperindependent girl, secretly suffering from an absent father. During the video, I visiulised and told him "I love you and I'm grateful for you being my father and I know you always love me and give me power, but I have had suffered enough for your absence in my everyday life, I have a whole life that I want to live for myself and I can't have it unless stop waiting for you to make me your little princess again, so I am letting go of my this attachment and expectation for my life, and I will start live my life, even you'd not here for me all the time. I love you."
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Absolutely spot on. Letting go is one of the most important things you can do in your life. Conscious inaction can allow your higher self to come through to guide your true path. 🧡🙏🧡
And it's less and attracting others, more about becoming true to yourself and in your own energy. Then, we might attract situations and people more aligned to our true self 🎯
Absolutely! If I can admit it here...the attracting others is a bit of a lure I use to get people to watch. Because so many people come with that inner sense of lack and they want the easy fix. So I try to hook people with what they want, and then do my best to deliver the deeper aspect of what they need haha But it's absolutely about becoming true to yourself and in your own energy, the attracting other people and situations that resonate with the new energy is a side effect of the deeper transformation
@AnnieTyzak had a girl at work yesterday I kinda like n I know she like me she got a whole boyfriend she said I'll walk with you a little before I leave I said OK so what you got planned after work she said dinner and then we going for ice cream her n her bf I said we'll you better get going you don't want your people waiting on you she said yeah n turned around n left but she all up on me at work I feeling her but that bf shit ya bye
My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me recently. Finding it hard to be by myself now, and having to learn how to be ok with myself. This video has helped me understand things about my self a little more.
I am grateful for having had you in my life. Thank you very much. I appreciate you, I love you, but I have to go now. I have a life that is outside of you. I have a life that I have to go live for myself, and I have to let you go. Thank you for what you’ve given me, I appreciate the learning opportunity, I appreciate the time we’ve had together but I have to be my own person, I have to move forward in my life that has nothing to do with you anymore. And that is ok.
God is about to bless me with the ultimate devine union this month. New love that is truely for me, and will help me grow, heal, and be more abundant then ever before. So be it.
Great video! I’m thankful that you presented your point with empathy. Facing your insecurities is intimidating and inner wounds can be painful but you don’t need to be ashamed. Have empathy for yourself and don’t quit even when it’s difficult! ❤
Absolutely! It's a tricky subject to address for exactly that reason. The very nature of our tendency to see things from a place of insecurity, scarcity, and fear means that we're so quick to jump straight to self-condemnation when we develop self-awareness. When I realize that the common problem behind many of the problems in my relationships is my own inner insecurity, in a sense, that gives me ammunition to feel even MORE insecure and alone and flawed. That's where the negative feedback loop can begin. So you're absolutely right that we must give ourselves some grace and empathy and look at these things with love instead of shame. Interestingly, that whole process also feeds into the authentic embodiment of being your best self anyway! Because when we find peace with who we are, and are able to accept our so-called flaws, that's when we no longer feel that need for endless validation and reassurance! So, acceptance and empathy are a huge part of the equation.
Brilliant video. I used to be plagued with severe anxiety for years and once I started practicing detachment and letting go, I took back control of my life. The anxiety could no longer run it for me. I’m grateful to creators like you who spread the word about the life changing effects of letting go!
This video truly needs more views. He's helping me solve all these feelings that were under the surface & why I really feel that way. Thank you for helping all of us develop a better sense of self!
You made me understand this on an entirely different level. I’m always chasing and knew it was wrong but now I fully understand that it’s not beneficial. And I always get the ick when ppl chase me and now it makes sense as to why.
I am so glad that I am stumbled upon this video, I am experiencing this kind of attachment atm and this situation gives me anxiety each days. This video somehow lift that heavy burden on my chest and I would like thank you for such an enlightening explanations :)
This hit hard… I’m 44 and my wife passed from cancer 6 months ago, we were soulmates and I’ve been struggling so badly and this video really helped me see the mistakes I made with her from childhood trauma. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again but yet i find myself trying to fill a void that I feel inside. My relationship with God is the only thing that has saved me and it’s still a daily battle between my fleshly desires and my spirit. Great information very accurate and true.
I hope you find peace mate. Don't beat yourself up with survivors guilt, i'm sure that the fact you had such a long and successful relationship meant that you are a good caring person. Sorry this has happened, wish you the best.
Out of all the videos and podcasts I've watched and listened to, yours is the one that helped me the most to move on and let go of the past. Thank you, thank you, thank you-really, thank you!
Im in a really great 5 month relationship, and we are gonna get engaged in the next 3-4 months. I am still working through an anxious attachment due to some tough childhood memories, so this video really hit home with me. I’m trying to learn to be the best man I can be for my future wife. Sheesh it’s hard, but worth it! Even though she’ll never see this, I love you Abby 💛
Thank you Andrew for this video 🙏 I will go and try to apply the things you said in this video Currently talking with a girl that I created this “perfect projection” of her and it hurted our relationship Everyone like this comment so I can comeback and tell how is everything going
Best video I’ve ever seen regarding this topic. It’s something I’ve struggled with up to this point in my life, but this video very well could have just changed it for me
I've learned what you discussed the hard way. It resonated with me and how I handled that dark part of my past. Looking back, if I knew these when I needed it, I would have handled it much quicker and cleaner. Great video.
All this makes me just wanna have casual sex and not care about people. Relationships with people shouldn't be this complicated, and people these days are just extremely selfish, and will NEVER care about you, the way you care about them. It's a sad, lonely world, and I sincerely hope to live in a better world one lifetime. People in this world are simply just not up to my caliber, and because of that I'm always gonna hurt.
This 18min video has literally helped me understand a breakup that I had been trying to get over in the past . It has helped me understand that whole relationship… Thank you so much
I just got out from 6 y relationship. I Lost myself during this time, at the moment i realized we broke up I just fell on the ground and i couldnt breathe. Dont let the wrong people destroy your self esteem and your goals, especially during med school 😅
I’m so glad I watched this when I really needed this. Been having a rough day mentally reflecting about a friendship of mine and this spoke to me in a deeper level. Thank you. The way you convey these thoughts are extremely helpful
sure do this, just don't become avoidant. By avoiding , we protect ourselves from hurt-but in the end, we also end up losing what we longed for most. (coming from someone who had an avoidant attachment style)
Great video bro...I could literally see you explain me here...i will try the exercise and i hope everyone who's watching this video does too and get over insecurities
Thank you I needed this I went to America thinking someone loved me little did I know she had another guy more fool me.This guy is like glue he has no life of his own he's with the girl 24/7.
Great analysis , I think we are all in some instances struggle with being wounded and search for wholeness and healing . A perfect explanation of how we sabotage our relationships and foster within ourselves a belief that we are not good enough nor will we ever be . I. enjoyed this video very much and look forward to others by this insightful coach!
3 days ago i felt so bad when my boyfriennd left me and i begged him to stay multiple times just because i love him so much it still hurts but this video makes me feel like i can still exist as just me and be happy with my life
We all are attatched to something or someone, “let it go” to me is a way to avoid working on the way you get attached to everything, all we are responsible for is of building healthy attachments. My opinion here is…this “philosophy” of letting go of everything is not realistic and even inhuman, people are meant to connect to others since the very beginning. But this is just my input, I totally respect yours and I am pretty sure this works for some people.
This happened to me just yesterday. She ended the relationship because she keeps on losing her interest and feelings towards me. She admitted that I treated her so good like a princess and gives her what she wants, she even told me that she asked for a "green flag guy that treats her right" and when she found me she's sure that God answered her prayers and I'm that guy but she ended it because we're not for each other and she doesn't love me and only love how I treat her
You’re lucky. She could have just kept milking you until she found someone she wants. That would have sucked as you would have wasted years on her. At least now, you can finally move on.
@@mega408facts. I thanked my ex (4 hrs ago) when she broke up with me. We sat. Talked . Cried. Had a hug and a kiss and that was it . I thanked her for being respectful and not waiting any longer than the week she was feeling off.
Dating over the past few months taught me that I should be alone and try to make myself happy. I was lonely and miserable coping with friends, sports, and video games before the 5 year relationship and I am doing the same shit after it ended. New activities are just that, another thing to fill the day with but coming home to an empty bed and a phone devoid of any interaction beyond friends or family is fucking depressing. Maybe instead of being generous and insecure I will come out self absorbed and secure after I am "Healed."
Authenticity as much it might seem frequently (and often times it truly is) as something deeply personal and individualistic. When you are with someone you feel a connection with. Being authentic becomes something larger than oneself, it becomes also the will and the desire to build, to compromise and to achieve together and as a result of this conversion of thought, feeling and intention.
I really like this video. True….I want her back, but in a new relationship. I’ve realized I was a “nice guy”, have done a 180 and can attest to love yourself and your life will change. I have had so much more luck with just meeting people and friendships now; heck my relationships in general are better. The difficulty? We are married, have a two year old and she is under the impression that there is the perfect match for her somewhere. This video summarizes the solution and the problem all at once. I’ll think on it
I think I really needed to hear this I wish there was a step by step guide to becoming less insecure but nothing is easy in life, I really needed to understand how to deal with liking someone alot and hopefully now I won't be fumbling around acting insecure around them, so ill try to work on caring less and becoming confident in myself but again how do I do that, idk but ill try
I really enjoyed the video, but I think that 'letting go' while aiming to obtain what you want wouldn't fix the problem. To me, the key is to find out who you really are and start liking yourself without the intention of attracting anyone. Just love yourself ❤
Totally agreed! This video is aimed at people who are fresh out of a breakup and hurting, so I figured the best approach would be to relatively gently introduce the concepts of attachment, letting go vs clinging, and so on. Just as a way to reach people who would otherwise be unfamiliar with the topic, and looking for a quick fix to a painful situation. But I absolutely agree that the deeper opportunity in letting go is certainly not an easy problem fix, but in understanding and shifting the way we relate to the world in the first place.
This is perfect timing. Girl and I mutually split since she just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship at the time. We mentioned eventually getting back together once she heals and she’s ready. I see her at work so this’ll be quite interesting for the both of us
This video is great man got out of a relationship two months ago it was hard bc she dumped me for these reasons and now we talked for a brief moment just to say we hope we can be friends in the future
Easily the best video ive watched on this topic from the dozens ive gone through. Absolutely nailed it and so badly needed to hear and validate all this. Got a new subscriber 🙏🏼 How are you only at 12k??
Attachment is normal and essential for survival since we are born. Not the attachment is the root cause for suffering, but not knowing, not learning as we grow as adults, that it's actually a choice our parents, friends and family are making to take care of us, to love us, and we are NOT entitled to any of it, just because it's how it should be, just because we were born needing it. We deserve it ONLY by being GRATEFUL for all we are given ❤ not by doing good deeds or being extraordinary and so on. We are good enough from the moment we are born as long as we are grateful, doing our best to be a good person. Being grateful it's all it takes. If someone, a stranger is not loving us back we need to remove ourselves, if it's a loved one, we can look to see if we were actually being grateful for everything they did until that point and by ignoring the bad things they might have done, they will have to power and willingness to change their attitude towards us because we show them gratitude, and hopefully they will be good, kind and loving people with themselves and to us as well ❤
Knowing we are good enough as authentic selfs is very important as well, but knowing we actually need to be saved, to be loved, we need each other to survive its not being insecure Not one bit, it prevents us from playing games as suggested here actually, in a complicated way 😊. That's why prisons were invented for. To outcast people it means to make them suffer in order to teach them a lesson of not being grateful or punish them for doing bad things. We can not survive long in isolation, except when we know there is at least one person who wants to be with us, thinking of us, loving us, as in a critical situation, a war or something like that. We need that hope at least, to know that there's is someone who loves us unconditionally, no matter how badly we behaved. At least one person, a parent, a partner or a friend. If there will be no one left we wouldn't want to live all alone, maybe in connection with something, the nature, the universe, maybe a dog or a cat but not completely alone. It's imposibil to survive alone. Period.
Knowing we are good enough as authentic selfs is very important as well, but knowing we actually need to be saved, to be loved, we need each other to survive its not being insecure Not one bit, it prevents us from playing games as suggested here actually, in a complicated way 😊. That's why prisons were invented for. To outcast people it means to make them suffer in order to teach them a lesson of not being grateful or punish them for doing bad things. We can not survive long in isolation, except when we know there is at least one person who wants to be with us, thinking of us, loving us, as in a critical situation, a war or something like that. We need that hope at least, to know that there's is someone who loves us unconditionally, no matter how badly we behaved. At least one person, a parent, a partner or a friend. If there will be no one left we wouldn't want to live all alone, maybe in connection with something, the nature, the universe, maybe a dog or a cat but not completely alone. It's imposibil to survive alone. Period.
I think a lot of what you're talking about is trouble with the nervous system. You have to regulate that before you can be relaxed and happy generally, which will translate into a relationship.
I'm always busy, but I still text people back right away. I don't like messages sitting in my inbox and a text takes 5 seconds. So the truth is it doesn't mean you have nothing else going on. I think it's just annoying for some people because they don't like having long conversations over text. They only want to respond every now and then so they have a little time to breathe. Figuring out what to say can also be anxiety inducing for some people. But my girlfriend and I both loved texting each other. We'd send each other at least 200-300 messages a day for almost 7 years (and we lived together lol) Our entire relationship up until she passed away is basically documented
Fair enough! I'm sorry to hear she passed away. I suppose what I'm trying to get at in the video is less about texting itself and more about the energy dynamic involved. It's not so much that not responding to texts is a sign of security (it could be, but it could also be avoidance or people just not liking texting) it's more that people obsessing over "why isn't this person responding" are most often operating out of anxiety and insecurity. Of course, I have to paint in broad strokes for the sake of the video, but I agree there's more nuance to it
Attachment is the root of all suffering.
*unhealthy attachment
Tinnitus....
Attachment comes from insecurity
@huaynaX - words deserving of a plaque 🙌
how to let it go then .??? i been trying so hard to let it to go
When in doubt, be silent and give them space.
Does this work? And does this help for a future for both of us rekindling and starting over?
@@frankiegates4149 No other formula is as effective. But silence is no joke and patience. I mean 2,3, 4 months. Sometimes 6 months or a year. But be patient and don't go on social media pretending to be Mr. Popular, it's phony. Just don't post anything that makes you look needy or angry.
That is why God is silent
@@wathah323 deep
Give YOURSELF space. We don't need to give them anything. We must put ourselves first and remember we are whole.
Based on my experience, you need to focus on yourself until someone will attract to you because of your worth or value as a person. Do not chase you attract
Absolutely
I realized that tryng to chase by 4 years I was never able to get something till I started focusing in myself, then in less than 6 months, I just got to the point that I didnt even know what to pick up, I mean girls, friendships, paths, evertyhing has to start by us not by outside
“You re trying to fill a whole that doesn’t exist ”. Summed it perfectly.
The hole does exist and it can be filled with money
@@AnnieTyzakOr cream cheese
@@FragmentOfInfinity i'll take money and cream cheese
A hole*
That day I filled one up with sausage
You can’t get them back because that relationship is already gone, but you can have a new one with the same person because you are now different people…. Wow I love this. Thank you for this
this is genuinely one of the best videos on this topic i've ever listened to.
Me too! So good
Likewise
OK I am watching
Yep, very precise wording describing how my failure to stop people-pleasing manifests. Self-love and filling your life on your own fixes this.
I agree
No one is our savior, except ourselves. We need to feel complete on our own, we have to fullfill ourself. I have a text on my wall in my living room "Be the energy you want others to absorb".
Jesus Christ is my savior. I'm not God, and I didn't die on a cross for the remission of all sin. I'm no savior, even to myself.
@@obscurereferences7198 don't you know who you really are??
@@obscurereferences7198Jesus is the messenger of Allah and the Messiah, not your saviour, nor did he die on the cross. He will bear witness against you. So be warned of a tremendous day and leave the Christian delusion created by paul the liar
@@noelmalik5018The only people that are delusional are you clowns and your "god".
Yes ma’am I agree so much!
The universe really led me here at 4am to watch this completely undistracted ❤
Same
same
Bruh it's 04:01 for me rn
It’s 4:03 for me😂
4:17 am here
It happened with my mother... She was anxious and attached to a life where her son was present and making her feel safe and loved.. I told her one day, while she was in tears, "You have lived your life and created and nurtured a beautiful family, allow me to live my life and create my family".
At first she was scared, that her life would be worse without her son... It's been a year and now she's even more excited when i visit and tells me all about the life she now lives (she went back to reading more, wants to start writing). She has recovered her hobbies and passions and that's what you all need to understand, and so do I.
Once we let go of what fills our heart, the hole can be filled with new opportunities, new people, new activities, new philosophies of life that can inspire us to become something much different and much greater. We start living the life we want to live, not the life that others want for us.
There is nothing more inspiring than knowing that a heartbreak or a loss can be a blessing for allowing us the opportunity to grow and become what our soul wishes we become.
If I say this, she will slap me then and there lol
Beautiful!
@@luisabatistasamoraI'm totally agree with you because we can't depend our happiness to someone or things, cause the most important we need to create our own happiness,work on our self to be a better version of your slef
Letting go is the ultimate freedom ✨️
Your life become hollow.
What if they come back. Please help me
This video hit hard for me. My current issue with chasing someone for the last year and I'm working toward breaking out of it. Thank you.
You're welcome! There's nothing wrong with chasing someone, per se. It's more that we're often actually running away from ourselves and abandoning our own inner power in order to do so.
Often when we feel the need to chase, or to prove our worth to the person we're interested in, it can come from a situation where early in life we felt we needed to prove ourselves to our parents, maybe we needed to achieve or people please in order for them to be happy, or had to make sure everything was perfect. In my case, this was paired with a deep rooted fear of abandonment.
The crazy thing is that this fear of being abandoned by somebody else causes us to consistently abandon ourselves. We change the way we behave, what we say and do, in order to please other people. We start to make them happy at our own expense, hoping to fulfill that pattern and make sure they won't leave us - all the while subtly sending ourselves the message that WE don't have our own backs.
Just keep doing your best and learning and growing from the experience and giving yourself some grace when you temporarily slide back into old patterns. We're all doing the best we can!
I feel you man! Dated this girl for a little under 6 months, felt like she was the best thing to have happened to me, everything was rock solid but then at the end of the 5th month I started feeling her pull away. Couldn’t make sense of it and that completely threw me off my rocker. 1 week before we would’ve completed 6 months together she ended things with me because of something that happened in bed. I made a mistake but she just decided to leave me straight away. Tried reasoning with her and ended up chasing her in the process for the next 6 months. Went to her home drunk, called her friends, cried, did everything. It’s been over 8 months since our break up now and I still haven’t moved on but I have not contacted her in over 2 months. I’m trying to finally let it go and move forward with life and trying to love myself.
God has a plan for me, just like everyone else! :)
How's things now
@@Caolan-b6r my sadness turned to anger for a bit, but now I am not as sad about it. Been pursuing other people and have been letting go. It's gotten easier.
@@andrewvanhoffCan we go by an example? I see a hot girl I want to meet. By approaching her, to meet her, I am by default being needy and chasing her.
How can I approach, show interest, meet but NOT be needy and build attraction?
I was always strong and hiperindependent girl, secretly suffering from an absent father. During the video, I visiulised and told him "I love you and I'm grateful for you being my father and I know you always love me and give me power, but I have had suffered enough for your absence in my everyday life, I have a whole life that I want to live for myself and I can't have it unless stop waiting for you to make me your little princess again, so I am letting go of my this attachment and expectation for my life, and I will start live my life, even you'd not here for me all the time. I love you."
Great message! Keep at it and be proud of living the life you chose. Resentment drags us behind and you've changed it to love. Very beautifully done!
Amazing!!
so beautiful!!
tears.
Relatable af. ❤
❤❤❤❤❤ hit hard. we keep chasing for a feeling not a person. we always on our own.
Great video! Sadly, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The person I thought was the love of my life decided to leave, and I’m still deeply in love with him. I can’t stop thinking about him, and despite all my efforts to win him back, nothing has worked. I feel so frustrated and can’t imagine being with anyone else. No matter what I do, he’s always on my mind, and I miss him terribly.
Letting go of someone you love is incredibly hard. I went through a similar experience when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't bear to lose him, so I did everything I could to rekindle our relationship. Eventually, I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who guided us back together.
Wow, that’s incredible! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he’s an amazing spiritual counselor who specializes in helping people reconnect with their ex.
Thank you for sharing this valuable info! I just looked him up, and he seems impressive.
Absolutely spot on. Letting go is one of the most important things you can do in your life. Conscious inaction can allow your higher self to come through to guide your true path. 🧡🙏🧡
This video just started playing out of nowhere but I’m glad I’m here. It’s what I needed.
A useful exercise for other relationships and situations too, such as family, friends and jobs, even dreams and material items. Thank you
And it's less and attracting others, more about becoming true to yourself and in your own energy. Then, we might attract situations and people more aligned to our true self 🎯
Absolutely!
If I can admit it here...the attracting others is a bit of a lure I use to get people to watch. Because so many people come with that inner sense of lack and they want the easy fix. So I try to hook people with what they want, and then do my best to deliver the deeper aspect of what they need haha
But it's absolutely about becoming true to yourself and in your own energy, the attracting other people and situations that resonate with the new energy is a side effect of the deeper transformation
chasing chased them away ive learned this the hard way
Ya plus it’s embarrassing
At least you learned, that’s the best thing about mistakes
@AnnieTyzak had a girl at work yesterday I kinda like n I know she like me she got a whole boyfriend she said I'll walk with you a little before I leave I said OK so what you got planned after work she said dinner and then we going for ice cream her n her bf I said we'll you better get going you don't want your people waiting on you she said yeah n turned around n left but she all up on me at work I feeling her but that bf shit ya bye
@@Mike-y1q3v I’m proud of you 😊💯
My girlfriend of 5 years broke up with me recently. Finding it hard to be by myself now, and having to learn how to be ok with myself. This video has helped me understand things about my self a little more.
I am grateful for having had you in my life. Thank you very much. I appreciate you, I love you, but I have to go now. I have a life that is outside of you. I have a life that I have to go live for myself, and I have to let you go. Thank you for what you’ve given me, I appreciate the learning opportunity, I appreciate the time we’ve had together but I have to be my own person, I have to move forward in my life that has nothing to do with you anymore. And that is ok.
So powerful!
God is about to bless me with the ultimate devine union this month. New love that is truely for me, and will help me grow, heal, and be more abundant then ever before. So be it.
Great video! I’m thankful that you presented your point with empathy. Facing your insecurities is intimidating and inner wounds can be painful but you don’t need to be ashamed. Have empathy for yourself and don’t quit even when it’s difficult! ❤
Absolutely! It's a tricky subject to address for exactly that reason.
The very nature of our tendency to see things from a place of insecurity, scarcity, and fear means that we're so quick to jump straight to self-condemnation when we develop self-awareness.
When I realize that the common problem behind many of the problems in my relationships is my own inner insecurity, in a sense, that gives me ammunition to feel even MORE insecure and alone and flawed. That's where the negative feedback loop can begin.
So you're absolutely right that we must give ourselves some grace and empathy and look at these things with love instead of shame.
Interestingly, that whole process also feeds into the authentic embodiment of being your best self anyway! Because when we find peace with who we are, and are able to accept our so-called flaws, that's when we no longer feel that need for endless validation and reassurance!
So, acceptance and empathy are a huge part of the equation.
Brilliant video. I used to be plagued with severe anxiety for years and once I started practicing detachment and letting go, I took back control of my life. The anxiety could no longer run it for me. I’m grateful to creators like you who spread the word about the life changing effects of letting go!
This video truly needs more views. He's helping me solve all these feelings that were under the surface & why I really feel that way. Thank you for helping all of us develop a better sense of self!
Thank you for this video. As a codependent needy person I needed this video and it is true. ❤
You made me understand this on an entirely different level. I’m always chasing and knew it was wrong but now I fully understand that it’s not beneficial. And I always get the ick when ppl chase me and now it makes sense as to why.
I agree completely with this. But my inner child finds it so hard lol
True
I needed to watch the video 4 times in a row to get the whole concept of me letting go of what exactly.
this is actually perfect for me rn, not because i'm broken but because i am now interested into entering a new relationship
I am so glad that I am stumbled upon this video, I am experiencing this kind of attachment atm and this situation gives me anxiety each days. This video somehow lift that heavy burden on my chest and I would like thank you for such an enlightening explanations :)
every now and then I need a reminder about these things. Thanks - you articulate very well
This hit hard… I’m 44 and my wife passed from cancer 6 months ago, we were soulmates and I’ve been struggling so badly and this video really helped me see the mistakes I made with her from childhood trauma. I don’t want to make the same mistakes again but yet i find myself trying to fill a void that I feel inside. My relationship with God is the only thing that has saved me and it’s still a daily battle between my fleshly desires and my spirit. Great information very accurate and true.
Damn man, please take the appropriate actions when it comes to coping. I don’t know you, you don’t know me but I’m here for you
@@b_jwright24 thank you
Agree with the previous comment, we don't know each other but prayers to you and may your wife be in God's paradise. We're here for you hermano.
I hope you find peace mate. Don't beat yourself up with survivors guilt, i'm sure that the fact you had such a long and successful relationship meant that you are a good caring person.
Sorry this has happened, wish you the best.
@@Napoleonicwarfare thanks brother
The voice and the pronunciation easily make top 10 of the best voices that I've ever heard in my life. 😂❤
Out of all the videos and podcasts I've watched and listened to, yours is the one that helped me the most to move on and let go of the past. Thank you, thank you, thank you-really, thank you!
Nailed it! Read about letting go for years - you say it best
Im in a really great 5 month relationship, and we are gonna get engaged in the next 3-4 months.
I am still working through an anxious attachment due to some tough childhood memories, so this video really hit home with me.
I’m trying to learn to be the best man I can be for my future wife.
Sheesh it’s hard, but worth it!
Even though she’ll never see this, I love you Abby 💛
Thank you Andrew for this video 🙏 I will go and try to apply the things you said in this video
Currently talking with a girl that I created this “perfect projection” of her and it hurted our relationship
Everyone like this comment so I can comeback and tell how is everything going
Thanks Andrew, this really helps me understanding my current situation !
Best video I’ve ever seen regarding this topic. It’s something I’ve struggled with up to this point in my life, but this video very well could have just changed it for me
I've learned what you discussed the hard way. It resonated with me and how I handled that dark part of my past. Looking back, if I knew these when I needed it, I would have handled it much quicker and cleaner.
Great video.
Excellent video! Thank you for sharing these ideas with the world in such a kind, loving and respectful way.
Thank you so much! Glad it resonated with you!
best video for self improvement i ve ever watch,thank you man 🙌
All this makes me just wanna have casual sex and not care about people. Relationships with people shouldn't be this complicated, and people these days are just extremely selfish, and will NEVER care about you, the way you care about them. It's a sad, lonely world, and I sincerely hope to live in a better world one lifetime. People in this world are simply just not up to my caliber, and because of that I'm always gonna hurt.
Damn I'm going thru the same shit rnnnn I feeel u
It's just not worth it anymore. Love is dead
I don't know how in the world you kept me so attentive like that. 🎉
I love your expressions when you’re speaking, your eyes are speaking too, not only your lips.
This has been really helpful. I'm going through a painful breakup and need some self reflection
This 18min video has literally helped me understand a breakup that I had been trying to get over in the past . It has helped me understand that whole relationship… Thank you so much
i just filed for divorce after 35 years! thank you! i needed this!
Thank you for this video. Really lifted a gigant weight from my body. A 5 years realationship ended, and I'm chasing her like an idiot.
I just got out from 6 y relationship. I Lost myself during this time, at the moment i realized we broke up I just fell on the ground and i couldnt breathe. Dont let the wrong people destroy your self esteem and your goals, especially during med school 😅
brilliant absolutely on the nose, I've been going through this transformation the last two years and feel happier and healthier for it.
Why you watch these videos then?
Honestly, the only video I ever needed on relationship advice.
this is the most amazing video on this topic
Brilliant production. The point at 13:10 is priceless and delivered with such an A-ha moment!
I’m so glad I watched this when I really needed this. Been having a rough day mentally reflecting about a friendship of mine and this spoke to me in a deeper level. Thank you. The way you convey these thoughts are extremely helpful
Hi sandy 👋
I cried the whole video and I still don’t quite understand what you mean but I needed to hear this
sure do this, just don't become avoidant. By avoiding , we protect ourselves from hurt-but in the end, we also end up losing what we longed for most. (coming from someone who had an avoidant attachment style)
The way you explained make it so clear and understandable and your words freshens my mind. Thank you
Literally one of the best message in dating especially helped me since I feel like I am chasing her a little more
I found this video when I needed it most, thank you Andrew!
Great video bro...I could literally see you explain me here...i will try the exercise and i hope everyone who's watching this video does too and get over insecurities
this is INCREDIBLE ! Fantastic info, thanks.
I love the absolute clarity you bring to this topic! Refreshing!
Thank you I needed this I went to America thinking someone loved me little did I know she had another guy more fool me.This guy is like glue he has no life of his own he's with the girl 24/7.
Great analysis , I think we are all in some instances struggle with being wounded and search for wholeness and healing . A perfect explanation of how we sabotage our relationships and foster within ourselves a belief that we are not good enough nor will we ever be . I. enjoyed this video very much and look forward to others by this insightful coach!
That feels like truth to me, if we were good enough we would have someone.
wanting them to chase us is actually chasing them.
3 days ago i felt so bad when my boyfriennd left me and i begged him to stay multiple times just because i love him so much it still hurts but this video makes me feel like i can still exist as just me and be happy with my life
It could also be chasing reciprocation, which isn't healthy either. If they aren't reciprocating, you also need to limit access or let go
We all are attatched to something or someone, “let it go” to me is a way to avoid working on the way you get attached to everything, all we are responsible for is of building healthy attachments. My opinion here is…this “philosophy” of letting go of everything is not realistic and even inhuman, people are meant to connect to others since the very beginning. But this is just my input, I totally respect yours and I am pretty sure this works for some people.
Thank you for making this video! The exercise helps. I feel much better after doing the exercise. It’s amazing!
This happened to me just yesterday. She ended the relationship because she keeps on losing her interest and feelings towards me. She admitted that I treated her so good like a princess and gives her what she wants, she even told me that she asked for a "green flag guy that treats her right" and when she found me she's sure that God answered her prayers and I'm that guy but she ended it because we're not for each other and she doesn't love me and only love how I treat her
I'm sorry to hear that she didn't see your true value. Someone else will come along..
You’re lucky. She could have just kept milking you until she found someone she wants. That would have sucked as you would have wasted years on her.
At least now, you can finally move on.
@@mega408facts. I thanked my ex (4 hrs ago) when she broke up with me. We sat. Talked . Cried. Had a hug and a kiss and that was it . I thanked her for being respectful and not waiting any longer than the week she was feeling off.
Me too man. Same thing.
😢 Very sad bro. I felt you.
Dating over the past few months taught me that I should be alone and try to make myself happy. I was lonely and miserable coping with friends, sports, and video games before the 5 year relationship and I am doing the same shit after it ended. New activities are just that, another thing to fill the day with but coming home to an empty bed and a phone devoid of any interaction beyond friends or family is fucking depressing. Maybe instead of being generous and insecure I will come out self absorbed and secure after I am "Healed."
I feel the same way too, I hope you will finally heal.
Authenticity as much it might seem frequently (and often times it truly is) as something deeply personal and individualistic. When you are with someone you feel a connection with. Being authentic becomes something larger than oneself, it becomes also the will and the desire to build, to compromise and to achieve together and as a result of this conversion of thought, feeling and intention.
I really like this video. True….I want her back, but in a new relationship. I’ve realized I was a “nice guy”, have done a 180 and can attest to love yourself and your life will change. I have had so much more luck with just meeting people and friendships now; heck my relationships in general are better.
The difficulty? We are married, have a two year old and she is under the impression that there is the perfect match for her somewhere. This video summarizes the solution and the problem all at once. I’ll think on it
Love this Video, thank you:) You are whole on your own. Your believe that you need someone else is wrong. So freeing
I really like your voice and the way you explain things 💯👏
I think I really needed to hear this I wish there was a step by step guide to becoming less insecure but nothing is easy in life, I really needed to understand how to deal with liking someone alot and hopefully now I won't be fumbling around acting insecure around them, so ill try to work on caring less and becoming confident in myself but again how do I do that, idk but ill try
He is 100% spot on
I really enjoyed the video, but I think that 'letting go' while aiming to obtain what you want wouldn't fix the problem. To me, the key is to find out who you really are and start liking yourself without the intention of attracting anyone.
Just love yourself ❤
Totally agreed!
This video is aimed at people who are fresh out of a breakup and hurting, so I figured the best approach would be to relatively gently introduce the concepts of attachment, letting go vs clinging, and so on. Just as a way to reach people who would otherwise be unfamiliar with the topic, and looking for a quick fix to a painful situation.
But I absolutely agree that the deeper opportunity in letting go is certainly not an easy problem fix, but in understanding and shifting the way we relate to the world in the first place.
Thank you so much! The best 18 minutes I spent today ✨
now I know why I am attractive
This is perfect timing. Girl and I mutually split since she just wasn’t ready for a serious relationship at the time. We mentioned eventually getting back together once she heals and she’s ready. I see her at work so this’ll be quite interesting for the both of us
I so much needed this beautiful message. Thank you! ❤❤❤❤❤
The real Self is not attached to anyone
Bros been dropping bangers
you say these things better than my therapist
This is the video I never knew I needed
Brilliant !! I got the solution.. THANK YOUH ❤
Paradox of attachment, aka playing power games that inevitably. People are not honest with their feelings. This video is such proof of that.
This video is great man got out of a relationship two months ago it was hard bc she dumped me for these reasons and now we talked for a brief moment just to say we hope we can be friends in the future
Love when people share my autobiography.
This is a life altering video... thank you
Easily the best video ive watched on this topic from the dozens ive gone through. Absolutely nailed it and so badly needed to hear and validate all this. Got a new subscriber 🙏🏼
How are you only at 12k??
I really needed this. Especially the thing at the end.
So happy I found this video today!
only if i have watched this couple of days earlier
The paradox of attraction: "Scarcity makes you magnetic"
Who knew doing less could make you more irresistible?
Attachment is normal and essential for survival since we are born. Not the attachment is the root cause for suffering, but not knowing, not learning as we grow as adults, that it's actually a choice our parents, friends and family are making to take care of us, to love us, and we are NOT entitled to any of it, just because it's how it should be, just because we were born needing it. We deserve it ONLY by being GRATEFUL for all we are given ❤ not by doing good deeds or being extraordinary and so on. We are good enough from the moment we are born as long as we are grateful, doing our best to be a good person. Being grateful it's all it takes. If someone, a stranger is not loving us back we need to remove ourselves, if it's a loved one, we can look to see if we were actually being grateful for everything they did until that point and by ignoring the bad things they might have done, they will have to power and willingness to change their attitude towards us because we show them gratitude, and hopefully they will be good, kind and loving people with themselves and to us as well ❤
Knowing we are good enough as authentic selfs is very important as well, but knowing we actually need to be saved, to be loved, we need each other to survive its not being insecure Not one bit, it prevents us from playing games as suggested here actually, in a complicated way 😊. That's why prisons were invented for. To outcast people it means to make them suffer in order to teach them a lesson of not being grateful or punish them for doing bad things. We can not survive long in isolation, except when we know there is at least one person who wants to be with us, thinking of us, loving us, as in a critical situation, a war or something like that. We need that hope at least, to know that there's is someone who loves us unconditionally, no matter how badly we behaved. At least one person, a parent, a partner or a friend. If there will be no one left we wouldn't want to live all alone, maybe in connection with something, the nature, the universe, maybe a dog or a cat but not completely alone. It's imposibil to survive alone. Period.
Knowing we are good enough as authentic selfs is very important as well, but knowing we actually need to be saved, to be loved, we need each other to survive its not being insecure Not one bit, it prevents us from playing games as suggested here actually, in a complicated way 😊. That's why prisons were invented for. To outcast people it means to make them suffer in order to teach them a lesson of not being grateful or punish them for doing bad things. We can not survive long in isolation, except when we know there is at least one person who wants to be with us, thinking of us, loving us, as in a critical situation, a war or something like that. We need that hope at least, to know that there's is someone who loves us unconditionally, no matter how badly we behaved. At least one person, a parent, a partner or a friend. If there will be no one left we wouldn't want to live all alone, maybe in connection with something, the nature, the universe, maybe a dog or a cat but not completely alone. It's imposibil to survive alone. Period.
I think a lot of what you're talking about is trouble with the nervous system. You have to regulate that before you can be relaxed and happy generally, which will translate into a relationship.
I'm always busy, but I still text people back right away. I don't like messages sitting in my inbox and a text takes 5 seconds.
So the truth is it doesn't mean you have nothing else going on.
I think it's just annoying for some people because they don't like having long conversations over text. They only want to respond every now and then so they have a little time to breathe.
Figuring out what to say can also be anxiety inducing for some people.
But my girlfriend and I both loved texting each other. We'd send each other at least 200-300 messages a day for almost 7 years (and we lived together lol)
Our entire relationship up until she passed away is basically documented
Fair enough! I'm sorry to hear she passed away.
I suppose what I'm trying to get at in the video is less about texting itself and more about the energy dynamic involved. It's not so much that not responding to texts is a sign of security (it could be, but it could also be avoidance or people just not liking texting) it's more that people obsessing over "why isn't this person responding" are most often operating out of anxiety and insecurity. Of course, I have to paint in broad strokes for the sake of the video, but I agree there's more nuance to it