5 Ways LETTING GO Makes You Attractive AF

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  • Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
  • There are a wide range of benefits to letting go in life. We can find emotional freedom, personal advancement, generally improved happiness and yes, we even become more attractive!
    In this video, I discuss the surprising process by which reducing your attachment to results and letting go can actually make you MORE LIKELY to get the things you wanted in the first place.
    We talk about neediness and attachment to results, and how by letting go you can free yourself to try new things, be bolder, feel calm within your own energy, and be more at peace with yourself!
    Fair warning: this isn't something you can fake. If you try pretending to let go, you're still attached to results, and you're still being manipulative - You must work on cultivating an inner attitude of detachment. Not detachment from people or experience, but simply from the NEED for everything to go a certain way. The less we feel the need to control and the more comfortable we feel within ourselves, the more attractive we become
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 90

  • @franklinmarcum7335
    @franklinmarcum7335 25 днів тому +29

    I am in such a bad place in life. My marriage with my wife is falling apart and my mental and physical health is in the dumps. I hear everything you are saying in this and it’s very eye opening. I just don’t know how I can truly put this into practice and actually begin to let go of things in my marriage and just in life as a whole. These insecurities I have are so immersive and overwhelming. I just can’t imagine a life where my mind can be at such peace.

    • @daker1941
      @daker1941 22 дні тому +4

      Let go depending on your marriage for your ego. Repair your marriage for your family.

    • @angelawatson1594
      @angelawatson1594 3 дні тому

      ​@daker1941 some times it is in the family's best interests to get out of a toxic relationship. Set an example to the children by showing bravery in what you DON'T tolerate. Walkaway

    • @bryannavarrete6253
      @bryannavarrete6253 3 дні тому

      Analyze what your marriage is lacking, there is something that you are probably missing. Without knowing your situation my best advice is to look at all possibilities, don’t go down without a fight while maintaining your dignity.

    • @2taxedout
      @2taxedout 2 дні тому +1

      I’m with you…I hear you…and I feel what you’re going through. I’ve made mistakes in my 30yr marriage, and I’m still on a tightrope of staying or leaving. I do love her, and she loves me, but there is an emptiness that is glaringly there. Many arguments, and I finally decided I don’t give a fuck….that’s harsh, but I let it rip…..I told her my feelings, I told her how I felt about her nagging, how she’s gained 150 lbs, how I didn’t like being rejected from years past when it came to intimacy, to how I’m no longer going to be held responsible for her happiness..she just sat there stunned! I finally opened the floodgates, and it wasn’t pretty….but I needed to do it…I told her I was DONE! She suddenly changed her tune…..she like the lifestyle I gave her, and she knows now that I don’t care…I put myself first….I told her to get a job…Now she’s walking on eggshells instead of me…take back your power…and if you get divorced, so be it…if you get the chance, check out on UA-cam, strong successful male…that site has helped me…You/me, are not alone…You can handle it!

    • @ADayInTheLifeOfJames
      @ADayInTheLifeOfJames 2 дні тому

      Women will dump you when you’re not doing well. The sooner you accept this & realise no-one is coming to help you like we do them the sooner you will get off your sad couch into the gym on your fashion & stop this neediness for her. Fit X fearless videos or Ty X Worldwide might help. I hope you are better in the coming month or she’s gone for good & most times that’s better in the long run.

  • @user-hn4ki8su6e
    @user-hn4ki8su6e Місяць тому +11

    I am 31 years and I have been through so much downs in my life Including a very bad marriage that I am in right now which could end up in a divorce. However, I am really happy and grateful and I realize that your health both physical and mental is the most amazing gift you can have and I’m grateful every single day for that anyone who is reading this please quit smoking, it will improve your quality of life by leaps and bounds. Trust me.

  •  Місяць тому +12

    The second I let go and decided I would Ghost my ghoster, it was a monkey off my back. Instantly I found a date, that date was the source of self confidence which in turn helped me dump my dumper which of course had my dumper reconnecting with me.
    So now I am the power not the victim. A position that I intend to nurture. I'm keeping my new girl cuz she's level headed. But I'm playing games a little bit with my dumper before I Ghost her for good. My philosophy? What better way to illustrate to a ghoster how cruel it is than to make them feel the pain. It hurts and don't do it.

    •  Місяць тому

      I think acting classes should be mandatory before we start a new relationshiop

  • @mg12130
    @mg12130 Місяць тому +12

    My man! Very eye opening, a few months back I started dating and oh my god, the shit that came out that I knew was kinda there, but never really realised it until now.. it has been painful, but I decided to do something about it. That on itself makes me realise I am strong enough and I don't need to depend on anyone.
    This video really helps me put things in a different perspective. Of course there will be days where I will feel like shit, but I will just come back to this video and start putting things in perspective again. Thanks ❤️

    • @marguskiis7711
      @marguskiis7711 Місяць тому

      Things do not work this way tho. If you act individualistic then you just stay alone.

    • @mg12130
      @mg12130 Місяць тому

      Can you elaborate? ​@@marguskiis7711

  • @powerofme7144
    @powerofme7144 2 дні тому +1

    I’ve dealt with narcissists before. When she discarded me, I kept reaching out to her to help make sure she left me alone! 😂

  • @claracruz9066
    @claracruz9066 Місяць тому +3

    This man has a special way to explain things in a way that I understand so clearly. Omg!!
    Thank you ❤

    • @DonTrump-sv1si
      @DonTrump-sv1si Місяць тому

      I taught him everything he knows. Soooo pick you up around 8?

  • @marguskiis7711
    @marguskiis7711 Місяць тому +4

    I did it. I stayed alone. Said anybody to go away.
    And then only those contacted me who wanted money. Others disappeared. Literally.

  • @ginabartlett7038
    @ginabartlett7038 Рік тому +6

    I love you advice and videos… I suffered horrific abusive relationships and these have help me so much to understand myself.. thank you thank you thank you 🙏

    • @andrewvanhoff
      @andrewvanhoff  Рік тому

      You're so welcome! Glad to have been of help! :)

  • @ohhs7830
    @ohhs7830 День тому +2

    Letting go is very unnatural. Forcing the issue is exactly the opposite of what you need to do. Makes no sense, you have to believe not giving a f is the best approach.

  • @Emillyy94
    @Emillyy94 Місяць тому +5

    I just found your videos today and I’ve been binge watching them, thank you so much for your insight it has been so helpful!

  • @sledge2002
    @sledge2002 3 години тому

    You are a real one man, this really helped

  • @catherinem4130
    @catherinem4130 Рік тому +4

    I wish I would have known this 7 months ago......not that .....on the other hand, I did the best that I could with the light that I had....and sometimes we just don't see the light or understand the light....until it's over....then piece by piece we seem to get it and relax, let go and be ourself. But that's OK.......it is what it is....we just have to keep choosing LIFE and go with the flow the best we can....and leave the rest in God's hands. Otherwise....it't pretty hard to take. There is a lot to learn about being ourselves!.....and the fact that "others can tell." Ha......faster than we can realize ourselves. Just sayin'........thank you for your encouragement.

    • @andrewvanhoff
      @andrewvanhoff  Рік тому +1

      You're welcome! That's absolutely right that most of us are just doing the best we can to work with what we have. And all you can do is keep learning and growing!

  • @AmeNoMessage1688
    @AmeNoMessage1688 Рік тому +2

    Thank you, I was on this path and it seems I’ve lost sight as of now, I think this was a great reminder on what I’m aiming for. Thank you Andrew

  • @ihateregistrating3494
    @ihateregistrating3494 14 днів тому +1

    God bless UA-cam for giving me exactly what the most I have problem with ❤❤❤

  • @debapom1568
    @debapom1568 Рік тому +67

    Ah, the lost art of stoicism.

  • @janetsbff5974
    @janetsbff5974 9 днів тому +2

    Excellent video… new subscriber!!! ❤

  • @TaDi321
    @TaDi321 Рік тому +4

    Wonderfully put together - inspiring me to not give up but accept that the need for control is still there (and behind the expectations). Well done. I realized how much of the patterns are still there (blinded by aquired knowledge but confused with the same results and blaming it on the outside world…). Thank you!!!!
    Will look into healing the inner child and watch the suggested video (obviousIy I am still not done with it). Any more suggestions? I am ready…but need guidance 😇🤞🏻

    • @andrewvanhoff
      @andrewvanhoff  Рік тому +3

      Glad to have been helpful! As for follow up work, I think the inner child work is one of the most important things you can do! Until we can understand and free ourselves from those patterns that are operating on autopilot, it's really hard to do anything because we keep getting sabotaged by ourselves.
      Child wounds around worthiness or being unlovable really mess with the way we connect with others as adults. If we have a deep feeling of being unlovable, trying to be less needy so that people will like us is...in a strange way, a needy behavior haha. Because we're still trying to get people to like us. I think the key is to work on healing those inner wounds that cause us to be needy in the first place, so we're naturally more relaxed and open!

  • @TheMasterk1lla
    @TheMasterk1lla 2 дні тому +1

    This was incredibly uncomfortable for me to hear, so many things of the past came up, this is also exactly what I needed to hear

  • @christinaplessinger1068
    @christinaplessinger1068 Місяць тому +1

    Well said!! I've watched videos that talked about some of this stuff, but wow!!! The way you broke this down was super easy for me to follow and fully understand every word!! Thank you!! ❤

  • @gassyrbekberdygali5400
    @gassyrbekberdygali5400 Рік тому +2

    right advice on the right time! Thank you, bro✊️

  • @jameslucop4503
    @jameslucop4503 26 днів тому

    Absolutely beautiful. THANK YOU. Subscribed ❤

  • @ArtTheoriez
    @ArtTheoriez Рік тому +2

    great video, this channel gonna blow up imo

  • @Ladymumma444
    @Ladymumma444 7 днів тому +1

    True so I’ve detached from my well now not my … man ❤ well he detached first but still 😂

  • @ronideltoro9613
    @ronideltoro9613 21 день тому

    hi Andrew! excellent video!!!! thanks!!!!

  • @AviatorArcade
    @AviatorArcade 6 днів тому +1

    Will I know when I’ve truly let go? It’s been a year and I keep telling myself to get go and it would seem like I’m trying hard to move on and I’m on dating apps and I almost feel like I’m doing it for the wrong reasons, so I tell myself I’ve let go but have I? Because I miss her so much… how will I know I’ve let go?

    • @angelawatson1594
      @angelawatson1594 3 дні тому

      It is a process. It doesn't happen overnight but Google the 5 stages of a break up.

  • @SuperAz000z
    @SuperAz000z Рік тому

    2:00 exactly that’s what I wanted to hear since a long while

  • @JohnnyAllan-vj7sj
    @JohnnyAllan-vj7sj 7 днів тому +1

    My broad shoulders, cute face, low voice and sexy demeanor make me attractive af

  • @timwanwick6503
    @timwanwick6503 2 години тому

    SOUND advice 👍👍👍👍😎✌️✌️✌️

  • @danielahoxha28
    @danielahoxha28 Місяць тому +2

    The right video at the right time .Thank you so much ❤

  • @shortycareface9678
    @shortycareface9678 Місяць тому +3

    Realized I need to relearn this yet again... I'm a somewhat controlling/perfectionistic person by nature, unfortunately. It makes me more prone to depression and imposter syndrome.

  • @bella81881
    @bella81881 Рік тому

    You are terrific! Great talk!!!❤

  • @michaelbrown2909
    @michaelbrown2909 Місяць тому

    Good detail, thanks! Focus on keeping hands under control tho bro 😊

  • @danew8043
    @danew8043 Місяць тому +4

    The art of not giving a f***🙃

  • @fabiang7243
    @fabiang7243 Місяць тому

    Perfect 👌 Thank you!

  • @lisadonaldson1656
    @lisadonaldson1656 Рік тому

    So informative thank you 😊

  • @CuriosityVaultChannel
    @CuriosityVaultChannel Рік тому +1

    Great video - Subscribed

  • @lisakiraly5856
    @lisakiraly5856 Рік тому +3

    So true on all you say … I am in charge ❤…😊

  • @thanhvan6921
    @thanhvan6921 19 днів тому

    As a young adult i need some confirmation. Put the algorithm aside, lately i have heard a lot about these things-some certain ways to live a happy life. Some young adults around me also talk ab the same thing, which makes me feel like theres a trend going on or sum. Could sb tell me if this is true or actually works out or just some kind of things ppl do to gaslight themselves? I agree on some parts but others sound kinda extreme to me. Its like jumping from one end to another

    • @andrewvanhoff
      @andrewvanhoff  10 днів тому

      I think people encouraging you to jump from one extreme to the other are overdoing it. I think the key is balance. It's not about being an asshole, or never thinking about other people - that's not what I advocate for at all. And I think that sometimes people who find themselves feeling super disconnected or in pain or heartbroken can be drawn to the seemingly "stoic" viewpoint that they should just armor themselves off to the world and never feel anything. I advocate for firstly, letting yourself detach from others opinions in order to see more clearly and then secondly, using that clear-sighted perspective to be able to live your life more fully and with less inner conflict. So if you feel a deep connection with somebody, that's amazing! But until you let go of your own inner judgment and blocks, you might experience a hard time even expressing that feeling TO the person. So in that case attachment blocks the magic of the genuine connection, right?
      People might watch my videos for the first time and get the idea that I think you should never get close to anybody, never love anybody, that you should pretend you don't care...and that's not what I'm saying AT ALL. I'm just saying as long as you're so emotionally entangled with a person or situation that you can't see straight, it's very hard to have that balanced perspective. I simply advocate for people to learn who they really are, and to see the places they're acting broken when they're really whole and complete.
      The trend you speak to is, I think, perhaps more of the "letting go/law of attraction/focus on yourself" crowd, which I think has a seed of truth, but often gets wildly misrepresented. I think happiness is found in balance, and in the way you SEE your life. It has a lot less to do with the things in your life, but more to do with your perspective. And what I hope to encourage people to do by letting go, is to expand their perspective.

  • @G-spot911
    @G-spot911 Місяць тому

    The Squidward before and after photo is insane af.

  • @nurseannesinspirationalwellnes
    @nurseannesinspirationalwellnes Місяць тому

    Thanks 🙏🏽

  • @marguskiis7711
    @marguskiis7711 Місяць тому +2

    Those things do not work this way. If you act very individualistic then other people just walk away from you. You stay alone.
    I have done it several times.

    • @TheRavenchu
      @TheRavenchu Місяць тому +1

      You are correct. There is a fine line between being needy and intentional. If you are intentional and honest about how you feel towards someone while being yourself, that is purely not giving a #@&%. Just acting like an ass and telling people "yeah, cool, whatever, I will find other people..." is not good and in my opinion, just as manipulative. If you're honest, genuine and consistent and they leave, that is purely on them, not you.

    • @emilyc5625
      @emilyc5625 Місяць тому

      I agree I just played it so cool w a guy I like and answered him hours later after his texts like I don’t give fk --he sensed games now he didn’t follow up on our tentative date . I really liked him and regret it . More to the story but that’s on me I should have answered him that I was free and excited to see him. I’ll never make that mistake again

  • @rik-keymusic160
    @rik-keymusic160 Місяць тому +1

    Well the harder one tries to not give a fuck is actually firing backwards… its like then you got to prove you don’t care, still caring in in the back of your mind. I think it gets easier getting older and with experience… getting used to people not fulfilling once expectations.. you need to go through it over and over again to eventually reach a point of truly not giving a flying fuck…

    • @anthonyeasterwood532
      @anthonyeasterwood532 Місяць тому +1

      I feel like there are some differences in the meaning behind the phrase “not giving a f*ck”-one is to not actually outwardly express excitement or feelings that you are emotionally invested or to try not to get emotionally invested in the first place… the other meaning that I think is going on here is to not let external factors, situations, or people be the one’s who decide and/or dictate your own sense of well-being and worth… I think that it is healthy and great to express one’s feelings in life and to get excited about things or dating or romance (if you feel that way, you feel that way and that’s all valid!)-the other way of being is about saying-“I am the one who decides what [insert external situation/person/outcome] means for me-I will not let that be the ultimate decider of my self-worth and well-being. If something doesn’t happen, I’m allowed to feel disappointed, unhappy, etc. but I am willing to face things going wrong/awry because I will handle it and it will not be my end-all-be-all because at the end of the day I am always my end-all-be-all before anything else!
      I don’t know if that made sense… but I felt like the idea of not giving a f*ck also has this connotation of pretending not to care or not caring in the first place, which I don’t think was what was meant in the video

    • @rogerdodger6025
      @rogerdodger6025 Місяць тому +1

      The attitude I approach it with is that I want it, but I can live without it. My happiness isn't dependent on this person or thing.

    • @anthonyeasterwood532
      @anthonyeasterwood532 29 днів тому

      @@rogerdodger6025 That's a great way of putting it!

  • @eandroid5483
    @eandroid5483 2 дні тому

    I don't think being on your best behavior, when it's not one's typical homeostasis, is manipulative, especially in the first few dates. Being an honest train wreck at first is much worse 😂

  • @laurasainz4836
    @laurasainz4836 23 дні тому +1

    It all sounds like one huge fuggin mind game!!

    • @777-h6n
      @777-h6n 21 день тому

      All these games and everyone is avoiding each other. So funny😂

    • @ronideltoro9613
      @ronideltoro9613 21 день тому

      hae????? no the opposite!!! he says be yourself....thats the only message here

    • @laurasainz4836
      @laurasainz4836 16 днів тому

      @@ronideltoro9613 actually no, that’s not his message AT ALL! Even the title itself is more accurate than what you just said.

    • @laurasainz4836
      @laurasainz4836 16 днів тому

      @@777-h6n it’s very disheartening. I have NEVER played these stupid immature childish manipulative games in a relationship. NOT ONCE!! I was too busy being myself, being authentic and stupidly thinking my partner at the time was also being authentic when he was just toying with my heart. It broke my heart, more than once. That’s when I figured out how very few high value men are out there that actually want and deserve an authentic, genuine, FAITHFUL, trustworthy woman as myself. I’m losing hope that I will find a partner that can match what I bring to a relationship. Too many game players 😔

  • @airdrumchick
    @airdrumchick 2 дні тому

    ❤❤❤

  • @timesplit--ter2742
    @timesplit--ter2742 3 дні тому

    I'm a guy and starting getting more attention, but why mostly gays?

  • @sabrinacz
    @sabrinacz Місяць тому

    11:15

  • @RoyOfficialChanel
    @RoyOfficialChanel Місяць тому

    i like you

  • @jamesryan82
    @jamesryan82 День тому

    Watch this guy talking on mute and he looks like a complete nut

  • @thelostsock2187
    @thelostsock2187 4 дні тому

    Get a dog

  • @777-h6n
    @777-h6n 21 день тому

    I don’t give a fuck😂😂

  • @jessicanameh8243
    @jessicanameh8243 Рік тому

    ❤❤