LET THEM MISS YOU - Stop Chasing and do THIS Instead
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- Опубліковано 14 лют 2024
- www.andrewvanhoff.com/coaching - I offer 1:1 coaching! My passion is helping people free themselves from their inner limitations - specifically those around self-worth. If you're on the journey of freeing yourself and letting go, I'd love to help guide you
So often when we find ourselves missing our ex, wanting their attention, feeling lonely - we are embodying the energy of lack and scarcity. When we act out of this energy, we actually have the opposite effect of the one we intend - rather than getting the person to feel closer to us, we actually PUSH them further away.
In this video we discuss how by drawing your focus back onto yourself, you can genuinely improve your life AND quite possibly get your ex back at the same time.
Heres what helps me go no contact. Delete her number. Delete all texts. Im good at leaving. However im stuck at the finding myself part
That part is definitely the most challenging, but also the most rewarding! Just keep working at it one step at a time!
Too many people out here using manipulative or deceptive tactics to try to gain an emotional or psychological advantages in a relationship. One should focus on themselves to strive to be better. Not learn tactics to cheat the system. These games could manifest in various ways, such as sending mixed signals, being inconsistently affectionate or distant, or deliberately creating confusion or doubt. The best way to “beat” mind games is not to play. Recognize the manipulation for what it is and assert your boundaries. Open and honest communication can be a powerful tool. Clearly express how his actions are affecting you and what you will not tolerate.
@@classactracing this is so true, but not easy to apply, especially when your ex for al lot of years devalue you and your self esteem is that low…
I love this advice. Unfortunately some people won’t get there in a matter of a few weeks, but if people give themselves grace, and time to reflect, eventually they can get to this point.
People are dealing with so many different insecurities, traumas and dysfunctional relationship dynamics that makes it difficult for them to arrive at this point.
Great video! Thanks for putting out this perspective out there. More authenticity and less manipulation.
i realize how toxic and gross i was being with a girl i was dating, i knew i was being too clingy but your outside verbalization makes me realize i was wrong
throughout my breakup the best thing my therapist had me grasp was the idea of expectations vs reality. similar to your experience, i came to the realization of just how clingy i was and how every word he said i held onto. its almost as if i created a false reality/ idea of what the realtionship was. each time i found myself disappointed in them when i was disappointed that the ideas and scenarios I created in my head did not come to reality. i had put him on a pedestal which is very unhealthy and unfair to him. i could talk about this for hours lol.
It's great that your therapist allowed you to reflect on your behavior and discover ways in which you can improve going forward. That being said, don't put all the blame on, what I would assume, your anxious attachment style and yourself. It takes two to tango and if you've been different in previous relationships, some of that anxiousness might be the result of your own needs not having been met by your partner. Don't disregard or invalidate your own needs altogether, they're just as valid as his.
Yeah.. I’ve so done this 🤍 It’s so awesome that you dug deep and learned. That’s amazing
@@andr3aj4ck5on Same here, same thing. She devalue me , an my self esteem went to the lower point One day, when I’ll be ready I will tell her. We have a son together I cannot avoid this forever.
This is exactly what I needed. Whatever you just said, it's how I have been acting and I'm glad I came across your channel. No more manipulation. It's funny how we believe that the other person was bad during the break up, whereas we ourselves had a major part that we played in it. I am going to own up to my own mistakes and work on them for better future. God bless you man. You are a friend that everyone needs.
This is the truth I didn't want to hear, thank you
The cold truth is that as much as we can “stay true to ourselves” if you know anything about female nature after giving her space you mentioned she was happy. See the problem is we think the world revolves around our selves. And you can use this to your advantage because a women’s world IS her emotions. Relationships are containers of servant hood and service. Gathering data and practice for a marriage and a marriage is a business decision . In business as a sole proprietor you have to make decisions that best serves the vision of your company. Often we as men have no standard or intention on the energy we let into our lives from the opposite sex and quite frankly they don’t give a shit about our feelings, and having anxiety is a red flag. This isn’t the 90s or early 2000s people are hypersensitive & “I can give myself everything thing I need” as a narrative seriously couldn’t be further from the truth. If we could meet all of our own needs we wouldn’t be here. There would be no need for humans. We fundamentally need eachother and need community. We all just want to play victim and isolate into our Internet world. So the real challenge is having the discernment and accountability to educate yourself on female nature and how to get the respect you’re looking for. Essentially how to integrate through mind body and soul - new behavior - that actually works and gives you a life and the options in the sexual market place that you desire. We are in a broken world and we need to humble ourselves to the truth around us. Get out of our victim mindsets and integrate the hate we have for ourselves and people with a reservoir of grace that is honest about our needs and then articulates them to our potential mates. “Hey, I really need your assurance on this. I’m hoping with more time and more re assurance- I’m going to build confidence in that area. “ “ hey I had a long day. Can you hold me?” Lol yes it sounds nuts but I feel like sometimes it’s that simple. We have these layers of shame on top of layers of anger and self oppression. We must integrate those things with a love like the one god gives us in full grace and allow ourselves to see ourselves as we are. Self condemnation only creates oppression. Good luck to all. Thanks for this channel and to allow me to vent. Blessings
My friend. You are one of the best on UA-cam at this time. Keep it up! Thanks
Love how you said this
Helpful thank you
This was helpful and excellent thank you very very much like you said live your life genuinely don’t be trying to post on social media now this other crap just genuinely go on with your life and be happy like you said it’s manipulative
Exactly! It's so much more attractive to be in your own lane, and if that involves posting cool stuff on social media, that's fine! But it needs to be genuine! If you're doing it for the validation of others or to make people jealous, you're just giving your own power away
This is good.
Thank you 😊
damn i needed this video a year ago
What about a 25 years story? I think it has to be more than this.
So sorry :( that has to be so hard. Mine was 3 years and I'm in pieces. Praying for you.
@@epicperspective Thanks