I've been suffering with HPD for a long time, and I do mean suffering. When I meet other people with HPD I can't stand them, despite the similarities. Definitely a lot of self-hate and trying to determine where it started and why it continues. If you have it, please seek help. It's no way to live feeling dependent on other people liking and being attracted to you. It's a hollow existence.
I don't care if this is a controversial disorder, my mother has it. You just described her, she is a 8/8. And maybe the diagnosis isn't bothersome to herself, but it does suck the life out of everyone around them, and especially their children.
Fucoc it’s so draining when parents have personality disorders. I was unaware (through denial) of how abusive my mother was, which my therapist is certain is borderline personality disorder, and I 100% agree. I’m a biopsychologist, but I am interested in and have taken coursework on psychopathology and biological psychopathology. Having a parent with a personality disorder often leads to trauma in children and lack of self-compassion. It’s like having your self-worth completely taken away because of it. It’s so confusing, too, to have your basic nurture needs shit on by a parent.
Mine as well, although not 8 for 8. She's been described by others as a "black hole", sucking every particle of life out of everyone around her. I had to laugh this afternoon when I felt as if I have, most of my life, been struggling to stay just out of the event horizon of a black hole. It's a quandary. Do you abandon them to save your own sanity or stay around and slowly wither? She doesn't think she has any kind of problem at all and is extremely offended when it's even hinted at.
@@highlightning6693 My ex is very well described by the HPD criteria with a healthy dose of ADHD in the mix, and like your mother doesn't believe he has a problem. He's not a bad person, and can be very lively and entertaining, but his constant attention seeking and poor financial impulse control were sucking every last drop of the joie de vivre from my soul and emptying my bank account. I'd describe myself as a studious, sociable introvert who needs some quiet time but there was no compromise from him so I had to leave for my sanity, although I didn't cut him off like I would someone who was just wicked. Since I started seeing my now fiancé and my ex realized he would not be geting the kind of attention he craved or further financial support from me (which his best friend now supplies) he gradually cut me out of his life. It's kinda sad and I will always wish him well.
I am thankful that there are a few professionals, like Dr Grande who discuss dx's on youtube without the wild attempts at click bait exaggerations or devaluing the person who may have this disorder. Another complementary feedback piece is that the examples used here are real world and varied so I can picture how this looks in the workplace or public when trying to grasp a realistic lens on observable behaviors. Thank you!
I have been separated for a year from a CLASSIC case of this. My wife. Holy shyte. Perversly I miss the ‘I love yo so much’ stuff, that confused me because she constantly mocked me! Thing is, I know she had a tough upbringing. Her parents less than stellar. But still, man oh man, she needed attention like a puppy needs its belly rubbed. All the while loving me (too too much) then hating me. I’m still trying too make sense of it. It’s been a while, and I’ll tell you, what a dent she, or it, has put on my brain. Loud noises. Unpleasant. I was told ptsd, but that seems a bit overreaching. Therapy continues, wish me luck.
These people are so toxic. I hope they heal. My ex was exactly like this. She was hyper sexual, obsessed with her social image and social media, was always using "sex" to control and manipulate people, and was constantly triangulating me with her male co-workers or trying to make me jealous. She was so shallow and hurtful and abusive. After our breakup, she went off the deep end exposing her body on social media, it was like a completely different person during the devaluation and discard. I saw such a dark and sinister side to this person I once loved deeply. I forgive her and hope she finds happiness. I know inside, she is just an attention/validation seeking scared child.
I am a behavior therapist, and one of the things I teach is that, regardless of your issues, you have to function in society or pay the consequences. A psychosis can be treated with mefication. A personality disorder has to actively learn limits and replacement behaviors.
My mom was the bull in a china shop. Unrestrained, loud, gregarious, lacking in empathy, love and social niceties. The first time she met my husbands parents, she grabbed my husbands mother and lifted her off her feet and shook her up and down a few times. Are you ever small she exclaimed!!. Husbands mother was an Engineer/ artist and lab technician. If I could have found a hole in the floor, I would have disappeared into it. Thats Histrionic. All you could do when around her was smile and nod your head. She was a one woman monologue. She unfortunately had other cluster B's. Her Rages were so over the top that all you could do was leave. During her rages, she spared no one and her tongue was ugly, vicious and cruel. She had absolutely zero empathy. If she didnt have a reason to rage at you, she'd make up a reason and go at you.
Yeah, and that makes sense. Nobody wants to entertained by quiet awkward people. People in the entertainment industry are way more closed when camera's are off. Remember, it's their job.
@@intoxxxicated8131 HA!! The violation of boundaries in histrionic personality disorder is extremely AWKWARD!!! You are confusing and extrovert with this disorder. Lol
I don't know either of you but if this is a description of her, she will suck the life out of you and you must realise that you CAN'T fix her. You are just the crutch she needs to offload her hangups.
For the last couple years i’ve considered myself as an attention seeker. i just found out about this disorder, and listening to everything and doing more research on the disorder, i realize that i fit all the criteria. dont know how to feel about it
This is exactly why I’ve had trouble with my mother-in-law all these years. If I had known there was a name for it, and it was a identified condition, I wouldn’t have been so twisted into a knot. She was the life of the party, made a best friend at the grocery store, wore very large jewelry, everything and everyone was the best ever or the worst ever, Trusted people that she placed as authority on subjects over the facts, and when she arrived there was a scene and whatever was going on got changed. I think she has all 8. She was a hairdresser, in charge of get together at church, had people at her house all the time, was very creative , decorated the church and her home beautifully. But when not “on stage” she was difficult and unreliable. Mood swings were very high and very low with crying jags of weeks, having had an imagined offense. She has all 8. At 85 years old she appeared at a function in a “cold shoulder “ slinky top, lots of jewelry, tight pants and bejeweled sandals. She always thought her feet were one of her best features.😱🤦♀️
I nerd a lot about psychology and the moment I learned about histrionic personality disorder, I wanted to see an example. Sadly very hard to find, since most people with this diagnosis will never know or admit that they have it. To have this specimen on camera is amazing and I have to thank Amber for volunteering.
i had a roommate last year who definitely DEFINITELY had this disorder. it was so exhausting to live with him and so hard to put into words why he made everyone so uncomfortable! we could always tell he didn’t have bad intentions when he would say and do rude and inappropriate things, but it didn’t matter because it was still so stressful to live with someone so attention-seeking, shallow, and gullible. if he had self awareness about these problems and his disorder, i have no doubt he wouldve been easier to live with
One of my clients has this (business client, I am not a psychologist). She hits all diagnostic criteria. One thing she will do as well is say inappropriate things during conversations or Overshare intimate details in a way to illicit shock and awe from the listener to garner more attention. We are not friends and our relationship is business only but she has no boundaries and was quickly intimate with me, excessive texting and oversharing.
When you are used to not being heard or listened to with respect or being allowed to express your side of things I guess that makes one histrionic. It would for ANYBODY.
You mentioned histrionic personality disorder in your video and DID. I had no idea what histrionic personality disorder was, so I typed it in the UA-cam search bar and found this video. Thank you for making this information accessible. Someone who has a personality disorder isn’t a bad person, as long as they are aware of their behaviors and seek therapy. Unfortunately, therapy isn’t easily accessible and a lot of people don’t get the treatment they need.
Great, educational video. I’m an introvert (f) married to a histrionic (m). He is a non-stop talker that interrupts others. He interrupts conversations with ppl he doesn’t know. He says shocking things to others, to refocus attention to his witticisms. He exaggerates. He’s dramatic. He MUST be in the limelight. For him, my personality must be difficult to handle. Thanks Dr. Grande.
The most irritating person I've dealt with was a histrionic... Despite the facade, she lived a poor and empty life, always bored and envious of pretty everyone else.
In my experience there is a very covert dark antisocial narcissistic side to HPD do not be fooled by their initial 'vulnerability' their fun party social attitude and do not get too blinded by their physical aesthetics. You know when you meet one hang around long enough you will meet their darker side in devalue and remorseless discards and hoovers. They love to induce sexual jealousy.
Jon Dough I think this differs with people. I know one who can provoke people like pros and others that are like celebs. The more provocative type could overlap with ADHD hyperactive types. Some histrionics are cruel and evil too. This is a great point.
Jon Dough ...you are 100% correct. I'm currently dealing with one of those harpies. The hoovers are unbelievable. I can't get rid of her. She's basically a stalker at this point. They are very dangerous.
I would love to see more information on "vulnerable narcissism"... Possibly its similarities in relation to avoidant PD or with BPD... My personal experience is with a wife I was married to for 21 years...This wife was enmeshed and engulfed by her parents the entire marriage...Her mother had all authority of her decisions and their was no boundries in her home..The wife in her 30s was still being told to take baths in her dads after bath water in which she did...Very awkward environment in which my wife was a child of her parents the whole 21 years... Her characteristics was shy..Humble..Almost needy..She just seemed very child like..Unable to make any conclusions on her own etc and often portrayed her very few accaunitices as mother figures rather then a friend...She was very aloof withdrawn and witholding of attention or communication etc...She at home was very self absorbed and angry if approached for closeness etc unless it was her doing the approaching... There is a whole lot to say.. Anyway her parents died nearly back to back....And she created a new persona and discarded and severely punished myself and our child together..She still views me as an extemtion of her..No boundries..Still comes into bathroom or gets naked in front of me etc even though we are not together...And says she plans on coming back in future... Her new persona was accompanied by love bombing a new man she never met with 150 thousand dollars in the first year of thier relationship...Vacations..Brand new cars etc.... There is so much to say but to complex to write... I am raising our daughter who has similar characteristics...Which include.. Aloof..Extremely shy...Withdrawn..Witholding...Ignoring type behavior...Very hard to open up..She has expressed Avoidant type behavior such as feeling inferior and or people are judging her etc..She is highly addicted to isolating and playing with barbies and she is 14...The barbies are ripped apart and have cuts all over them...She is nearly impossible to open up...
Thank you for this video. I'm currently struggling with someone close to me who I am 90% sure she has HPD, I never heard of HPD before until this morning. She's gone through abuse as a child and neglected by her parents, it's really heart breaking. I know HPD is meant to be rare and from what I've researched it said it's 1% of the population. But this woman who I speak of fits all the symptoms and believe me, she's been very difficult to deal with for years since she seperated from her husband and unbearable at this point. I'm going to try my best to help her in some way first, before giving up and cutting her out of my life. It's not only effecting me and her family, it's effecting her friends and her relationships. Mostly, it's going to effect herself more in the long run or short run.
The item about "thinking relationships are more than they are" made me cringe at my own behavior sometimes. IDK, Dr. Grande- I really don't think this disorder is dead, at all. And there are plenty of people out there willing to look fragile in the pursuit of whatever they are pursuing, to evoke pity or compassion. // While it might be confusing that there is a personlity disorder that seems to more lew level destructive to the person with the disorder, the disorder is judged as one by the effect it has on other people. I know what it is like to both over confide and to be overconfided in, and an instant relationship that has no substance. Or the loud ness. Yah, yah, been there, see a lot of people there. The criteria (too) is on how personlity manifestations affect people in the disordered individual's life. So, from this perspective, heck yes, it's a real thing! And it should just be there- availalbe. I don't understand the drive to streamline the DSM. More choice, not less. // Wel he he thanks again, b/c l as with like 6 of the 10 PDs just watched 3 related Dr. Grande vids on Histrionic PD, and to send to a friend who's curious, and I totally have tweaks and worries and twinges of Oh Crap, Do I have This One, Too! hahaha!
I dated a histrionic guy for some days and that was a disaster! We almost got expelled from the movie theather cause he "decided to freak" and get people's attention in the middle of the movie. The entire room stopped to see him scream and complain dramatically about how I wasn't a good girl to him. After a minute this way, people called the security guards and I had to almost beg the guy to stop that drama scene. He stopped, sat in the chair again and we all could see the rest of the movie in peace. Later, still in the shopping, he started a new scene:" hOw CaN yOu dO thAt tO mEE?? I LoVed You So MuChhh!" Then he opened my bag and threw my stuff on the floor. He only stopped when everybodies eyes were on us.
The example of impressionistic speech you give sounds valid. But, for anyone in regular contact with someone with HPD I think it becomes apparent that everything is too much like that. You can't talk about what matters, it's patronising, it creates and aggravated reaction, and that's the point for them.
My x is diagnosed aspd , npd as well as hpd . The hpd was what kepted me super confused on his pathology , high narc behaviors but then would pull me back in with the hpd ( in particular he was very gullible, appeared genuine and caring , very childlike behaviors , changed his persona very often , such a look , values etc ) what a mixed bag of various crazy making pathologies . To be honest I feel sorry for him , who would choose to be like that ? It’s in God’s hands . 16 years of this crazy making I had to save myself 🤨
Angelique Grace agreed. My ex definitely had antisocial personality disorder, although undiagnosed. They are very manipulative and can get away with so much. He lured me in to marriage and then changed after marriage and his hidden past of alcoholism came out. They hook you in and do things so it feels like you can’t escape. All those with ASPD are narcissistic, but not all narcissists have ASPD. It’s terrible, but once you escape it’s like the toxicity and drain that was caused by the person stops and you feel so much better. I hope you heal well! Remember to practice self-compassion often. :)
Saying hello to people as if you're happy to see them tends to make people happy. It's a fairly cheap way to initiate friendship that I've seen popular people use.
I think I'm dealing with HPD, but I'm not sure. I've learned to suppress a lot of my behavior since childhood due to bad interactions, but at the cost of feeling comfortable ins social situations at all. I feel like if I open up at all, I'll just go back to being obnoxious and potentially destructive; but at the same time, the lack of attention is so grating when I'm so closed up. I used to be in a relationship with someone I could open up around, but now I've lost even that. And my therapist hasn't helped much yet, though it's taken a lot of introspection to even understand what I need to tell them. Most deeply, it feels like I severely lack intrinsic motivation (desire to do things for my own joy), while being most sensitive to or receptive to extrinsic motivation (money, sex, attention). It feels like I have to get extrinsic motivation to enjoy doing something at all, to feel validated in doing something, to feel like I'm permitted to enjoy it without fear of consequence (maybe that fear of consequence is something from childhood). Entertainment can stave off boredom, but that's different from enjoying something. And if I find something frustrating, with no extrinsic motivation to help me over that hump, I just quit outright. I'm so easily frustrated when I'm alone, too. It's just exhausting to deal with this.
My mother likely suffers from HPD. I'm diagnosed with NPD with strong BPD traits, my sister is diagnosed with comorbid BPD and ASPD. It's interesting that the arguably least harmful lead to me and my sister's diagnoses. We got the whole cluster in my family lol
HPD does disrupt workplace in a very annoying way. HPD people get bored quickly, so they spin drama, spread rumours, gossip, stab in the back, manipulate, pit people against each other etc. to spice things up. After a while they get so entangled in their lies that people stop taking them seriously. At which point they have to quit and look for another job (disrupting the life of the HPD person herself). Being incapable of maintaining serious long term relationships (friendships) is quite bad, too. The perpetual depression, the dangerous promiscuity (sleeping with strangers). They often hate themselves for being that way and being unable to stop it. Downplaying HPD as something mild is not good, in my opinion. People with HPD are suffering, too (although they can hide their suffering behind a mask very well).
I would say so.. as someone who has HPD my Boredom often results off the wall statement/constantly distracting others There’s no need to hurt others... in my case HPD was brought on by a parent being NPD...
I like your output on all these narcissistic disorders.ALloa meat up people, what I mean is apts have become no boundaries on on. Thank you so much for your insight Dr.
I heard recently that histrionic pd people will end up with a narcissist...which explains things to me because my ex husband's two other wives were definitely not empaths or codependents... seemed more like narcissists...but histrionics describes them well
I used to be friends with a girl in high school who reminds me of this disorder, but I think she’s just a regular old attention seeker. This girl would constantly talk aloud about how she supposedly had depression and was suicidal and would constantly interject herself in conversations I would have with my other friends whom she did not know. She also copied me in a lot of ways.
It reminds me of some american celebrities...what they do to catch people's eyes on them and the way they dramactically dance/behave/dress...now everything makes sense
I’ve heard ‘vague, impressionistic speech’ used also of schizotypal PD. Is there a difference in how those speech patterns manifest? (I hang out in quirky circles, where attention-seeking behavior often manifests as displaying eccentricity, and sexuality is frequently out in the open. As an Aspie, I sometimes have trouble telling the difference.)
I’m convinced someone I recently met has this and I’m looking for more examples to see if her bizarre behavior is actually a personality disorder or just a really weird personality
With respect to 'sufferers'. Observation - the world of pop music, celebrity, media seems to completely revolve around these qualities. Very worrying. And quite repulsive.
But what about the low functioning of the people around the person, specially their children? Is there any studies on that? Specifically is there a relationship between histrionic parents and borderline children, I would really like to know. Thank you
Sounds like a friend I've had. He's threatened suicide if people need a break from him, ran away from social gatherings if he didn't feel heard, every time he's had a boyfriend he hooks up with other people behind their back and flirts with everyone, propositions straight guys and men in relationships to have sex with him. He comes on intense if he really likes a guy, saying "you're the best boyfriend I've ever had" even if they've only talked for a day. Sends random selfies to people or posts that he's depressed, hoping for a response. All of his relationships seem surface level and shallow, and I'm not sure he cares about anyone or how they try to help unless it's a guy he wants to do sexual things with. He refuses therapy to deal with any of it and never thinks he can be wrong. Frustrating and sad. :/
When I was younger, I worked as an ER admitting clerk. I remember a couple of women who were discussed by the nurses and doctors as engaging in Munchausen (by itself, but also one woman, by proxy) and a mental state like this was discussed. When I studied psychology, I saw Histrionic in the Cluster B group and thought of this. I still wonder: with aging, parenthood and maybe a divorce or lacking male attention-would an HPD individual go to that extent to attain their supply of attention? Sometimes, being a housewife, aging and not having the means for flash and bling might cause that "attention" to be harder to attain (much like a narcissist's "supply" gets scarce when they age). If so--could they be a danger both to self and others? In the case of Munchausen by proxy--it can be quite abusive, hence the inclusion into the Cluster B arena. Not every sociopath kills; nor does every histrionic hurt or poison their child...but they will if the situation is "right" or "called for".
ok so the things you said kind of reminded me of myself.... I thought the relationship thing was exaggerating closeness but it's actually telling people a whole bunch about their life that they don't know what about lonely people though is there like an excemption for them? Only thing that was not me was the sexual side. I'm very selective with men. But suggestive especially with the most direct person and chiming into conversations in that way is my thing I used to dress provocatively and care a lot about my appearance but a lot of people seemed really negative so I kind of hide away when I do interact it's a lot how you described. If that's the wrong way to interact how is one supposed to act to get attention no man is an island
From what you wrote it sounds like you are an average girl who has insecurities just like everyone else. You want attention just like everyone else. But you still have a healthy amount of self awareness and boundaries. Be glad you don’t qualify for hpd. People with hpd lack self awareness and boundaries, their relationships with others are very shallow, fake, and self serving. They are jealous people who will do just about anything to be the center off attention, constantly searching for groupies or they will pout and act out. They seem physically ill without it, it’s pathetic. They usually cycle through many different relationships rapidly in order to get their attention quota met.
This are really "flashy" personalities and flirt all the time, even when they have a couple or just because of the fun. I think everyone is free, but it gets annoying and inadequate. The worst part is that then they complain that they don't take them seriously... It can be fun, but in a small dose. A really small one.
I feel more comfortable behind the scenes, I am provocative and sexually charged, I take pride in my looks, but do not dress sexually suggestive, I wear tasteful jewelry, I do hug people in a social environment, I do not trust people in an authoritarian position, I stand firm to my opinions of brands and do not have loyalty to others ideas, so as you can imagine, I feel weird that I've been diagnosed with this condition.
I have some of those symptoms but I'm not necessarily easily influenced or a social butterfly (I'm definitely an introvert. I do socialize a fair amount with my friends. However, closely following the classic example of introversion, I have very few friends, but with deep relationships.). I think it's just my personality. :P (Sometimes I'm dramatic but usually rather in a mocking or exaggerated way with the intention of being humorous. And I don't dramatize things - in fact, it irks me when people dramatize things. And finally, one rather funny thing, I sometimes aggressively seek attention from some people, but not everyone. In fact, one day in school everyone started singing happy birthday to me. I was so overwhelmed I cried and hid ...... yeah.) Do you think people with Histrionic personality disorders have had the "Present but Absent" type of parents? (They're present, but don't _engage_ much with the children.) Obviously, some of these cases could be caused by hormones/chemical imbalances, but others, the way the brain developed?
When Dr Grande mentioned the excessive jewelry, the first thing that popped in my mind was the lady from Tom and Jerry who used to wear jewelry up until her elbows XD
The problem with these personality disorders,is that the person may never seek professional help. I’m not a doctor, but I know people with personality disorders, and even though they may never be diagnosed by a doctor, they meet all or most of the criteria, and so a person who has studied these things on a personal level will be able to spot them. I’m married to a narcissist, and he would NEVER admit that there is anything wrong with him. I know that he’s a narcissist, because he has almost all the classic symptoms. But he will never be diagnosed, because according to him, everyone else is the problem, and he’s never to blame. These people are diagnosed by family and friends, because they will never seek professional help. And that is a major problem, and why they will never improve. In their own eyes, they’re already perfect!!!!
Nah. The issue with histrionics is that if they go to therapy they end up hating that the professional gets payed to "care". They will try to seduce the therapist if they are of the oppesite sex. Never trust them. Accuse them of not caring. And on top of that be jealouse of him treating other clients. Histrionic people are hard to treat. Almost impossible.
My problem with letting histrionic diagnosis go from the MDS is that though HPD is not often associated with disfunction, they can and do cause BPD in their children as my sister did to her daughter. But if we let go of this diagnosis, they will do great damage with no acknowledgment of the harm these people are doing, especially to children in their care. If there was an area of research that should be conducted about HPD, it should be about this collateral damage aspect of this sneakily deceptive personality disorder.
I can find lots of videos about the effects of having a narcissistic mother but none for having a mother with HPD, I'd love one! Incidentally, my mum ticks most of those boxes, always dressed to the nines, tells me repeatedly how many compliments she's had on how she dresses (some of these can go back years.) She has no boundaries with workmen, inviting them into the home for dinner and asking them to give her rides to different places. She has inappropriate conversations with anyone and everyone, including discussing her moslem friend's sex life with her (and then repeating it to me.) I can remember burying my head in a magazine, aged 12, while my mum discussed her clitoris with her friend. She expressed horror at her gardener showing her some explicit nudes he'd received but, somehow, she elicits that kind of behaviour from people (while he was round watching TV with her.) She was constantly in competition with me when I was younger, always telling me she was better looking/had better legs. She talks in a loud voice about other people's children (saying nice things about them even if they have a face only a mother could love!) in restaurants until the parents strike up a conversation with her, if they don't hear a comment she'll repeat it until they do. She's highly suggestible. She's in her 80s now so unlikely to change!
Unfortunately my mother-in-law also has 8 / 8; she ruins every birthday (that's not hers) Christmas (if someone gave a better gift than her) she gets in the face of young children when they fail to give her what she feels is proper attention...she uncomfortably stares at my children until they acknowledge her presence; she throws temper tantrums when not being properly greeted upon entering a room...she doesn't care if the attention she demands is positive or negative...just as long as she has the attention; she inappropriately flirts with young boys at my children's gatherings..on and on the worst thing is we moved her in with us when my father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and now that he has passed we are stuck with this lady...she loves to argue..all the time, she gets angry when my wife and I go out to dinner without her..even on our anniversary, we really don't know what to do...she can't live on her own as she has not been in a grocery store in 50 years, has no idea how to complete a check or use a credit card...ugh!!!
to add when her husband was having a stroke in the middle of the street and the EMT's mistakenly said out loud, "this looks like a TIA - mini stroke"; she burst out with "now what's going to happen to me?" while they were working on her husband on the sidewalk...then when he was diagnosed with cancer and my wife and I were formulating a game plan; she burst out again and said: "if you two are going to be at the hospital all the time (she never went to one CHEMO treatment) then who is going to take me to get my hair and nails done?" really if Hollywood created her as a character no one would find the character believable...
I've never heard of this disorder before and now that I'm listening to the symptoms half the people in my country sound like they have this. And I'm dead serious, this isn't a joke. Can an entire culture have a personality disorder, or can a personality disorder be a characteristic of an entire culture?
Katie Frank I think that’s possible. I’m from Jamaica and they praise people with light skin to the point where a lot of people will bleach their skin so that they can be attractive to others. It has caused them to not truly love themselves so I do believe that a whole culture can have similar personality disorders. Not all Jamaicans bleach by the way it’s just that it’s a very popular thing down there.
I think that if ppl stay around it, they tend to pick up on some of the characteristics?...idk but these ppl suck every ounce of energy I have and they give me instant anxiety!!! 🙌. I have a family member with this. I had to distance myself...
Prolly not. You’re probably taking the 3/8 and 4/8 and completing them falsely to be a 5/8 score. Just because these traits exist, doesn’t mean a person fully qualifies. People can also be transiently acting out... for variety of reasons, aka teens being media-spoon-fed sexual content to the point where they think that they should act that way just to fit in... until they grow older and realize the kind of attention this sexually provocative behaviour brings. Some people too, idolize HPDs and NPDs and SPDs! These people are so magnetic that they can really have rippling effects and imitation by folks who are followers not individuals.
Hello, Dr Grande. I have watched and enjoyed listening to almost all your uploads. I would like to thank you for sharing this, often hard to come by, information. I have some questions for you; How do you view the extreme rise of narcissism in western culture and the effects it would have down the road for the status of the diagnosis? And do you agree that there is such a thing a cultural vs. personal narcissism? (China vs USA)
@@melissam597 More so with HPD, BPDs are more prone to suicidal behaviors and self-destructive attitudes and behaviors, although, HPDs and NPDs also do outrageous things, but more so over-the-top.
I've been going through hell in Canada trying to help my daughter. Finally got some mental health attention and they are saying she has Histrionic Personality Disorder. I agree with a personality disorder but definitely not this. So frustrating. Not sure why clinicians fail to contact family members for their input. The people who know them best.
It's because "clinicians" think they are God. Clinicians think they are paragons of perfection who get to judge everyone else. There's a REASON why Jesus said, "Judge not, lest YOU be judged." In the same manner these character judge others, God will judge THEM.
Can't you 'shop around' for another mental health expert, refuse to give them Godlike status by refusing to engage with their services...listen to enough of this guy's videos & he will help you describe your daughter's mental condition. Keep seeking & you will find.
I went into ER with injury and now I need sacroiliac fusion - the ER doctor put in my notes I was histrionic and even worse he actually put IV morphine in - narcissistic he must of been to treat a patient with drugs , but also call them a liar in the same sentence
There are more behaviors that i noticed in histrionic women.. like referring to people by their status/occupation . e.g The doctor, The scientist, putting emphasis on that when talking about them when not in their presence.The jewelry i don't really recognize as very typical and is not as consistent a behavior as much as dressing provocative is, i think there might be a cultural element to the jewelry that makes that more specific to the environment. The overreaction to seeing someone and being overly physical when greeting is something one might also find in other cluster b disorders and is a behavior exhibited by those needing a lot of affirmation. There is a lot of overlap with other cluster b personality disorders like borderline. It is understandably a controversial classification. But there do seem to be behaviors that are different from the other cluster b disorders that do warrant a separate classification.
@DrGrande, I am a training psychotherapist being treated for BPD and HPD, do you have any additional suggestions on treatment options aside from DBT and mindfulness based interventions, or does the literature mainly support DBT as the primary model. Is there anything to suggest Psychodynamic or Psychoanalysis have good results? Thanks for your videos I have just subscribed.
Although I've self tested four times through different sources if i possess HPD....and through the info of this video, I'm gladly, but slightly still convinced i don't have the disorder. Yet, omg the personalities I've encountered that in large would qualify to have HPD.....🤔🙄.
Oddly I find some common themes among HPDs I know, tattoos, big use of nick names, vulgarity and (if they have social media accounts) mega “extra” public displays of affection and praise targeting their own family and friends... that’s among HPDs I know - anyone else?
I just heard of this disorder. I live with someone who I believe was a narcissist but then I saw this disorder and it was spot on with this person BUT, I do also think this disorder has narcissistic tendencies. I'm not a doctor by no means but I've known this person for over 30 years and have lived with them for six years. The manipulation and complete lack of thought for others unless there is something in it for them is incredible. As this person has gotten older and have lived with them NOW I can see through so much. Habitual lying is another issue we have with her. To the point that it gets to be silly to my husband and I. I truly think this person is incapable of caring for any living thing other than herself. I've even had issues with her because she will feed her dog until the poor thing gets sick but that gets her attention. She'll literally call people that she just met and cry about her dog and they will come to comfort her. She got one young couple to pay for a dog to be put down when my husband and I were out of town. The dog should've been put down at least a week before that but she literally just watched the dog cry and yelp and howl with pain. She would not listen to me at all about the dog. SICK! This person is well aware of what she is doing. I don't have much sympathy for her "condition" when I know she knows exactly what she is doing and why she is doing it. She knows it is wrong also. So, when you say nobody is being "hurt" I disagree. They hurt plenty of people, plants and other living things. They just don't care. Granted this is a disorder but it is an inexcusable behavior that should not be tolerated. Setting boundaries has been the best solution to co-existing with this person but I do have to set them over and over again. They act like a child who has never been told no. It's really sad and aggravating. I've never seen her keep a friend over a few months yet either. After they stop giving her attention and paying for everything, she's done with them OR they catch on to her really fast and distance themselves from her.
After learning more about psychology my only question that remains - Is anyone normal?
I've been suffering with HPD for a long time, and I do mean suffering. When I meet other people with HPD I can't stand them, despite the similarities. Definitely a lot of self-hate and trying to determine where it started and why it continues. If you have it, please seek help. It's no way to live feeling dependent on other people liking and being attracted to you. It's a hollow existence.
I don't care if this is a controversial disorder, my mother has it. You just described her, she is a 8/8. And maybe the diagnosis isn't bothersome to herself, but it does suck the life out of everyone around them, and especially their children.
Fucoc it’s so draining when parents have personality disorders. I was unaware (through denial) of how abusive my mother was, which my therapist is certain is borderline personality disorder, and I 100% agree. I’m a biopsychologist, but I am interested in and have taken coursework on psychopathology and biological psychopathology. Having a parent with a personality disorder often leads to trauma in children and lack of self-compassion. It’s like having your self-worth completely taken away because of it. It’s so confusing, too, to have your basic nurture needs shit on by a parent.
Mine as well, although not 8 for 8. She's been described by others as a "black hole", sucking every particle of life out of everyone around her. I had to laugh this afternoon when I felt as if I have, most of my life, been struggling to stay just out of the event horizon of a black hole. It's a quandary. Do you abandon them to save your own sanity or stay around and slowly wither? She doesn't think she has any kind of problem at all and is extremely offended when it's even hinted at.
@@highlightning6693 My ex is very well described by the HPD criteria with a healthy dose of ADHD in the mix, and like your mother doesn't believe he has a problem. He's not a bad person, and can be very lively and entertaining, but his constant attention seeking and poor financial impulse control were sucking every last drop of the joie de vivre from my soul and emptying my bank account. I'd describe myself as a studious, sociable introvert who needs some quiet time but there was no compromise from him so I had to leave for my sanity, although I didn't cut him off like I would someone who was just wicked. Since I started seeing my now fiancé and my ex realized he would not be geting the kind of attention he craved or further financial support from me (which his best friend now supplies) he gradually cut me out of his life. It's kinda sad and I will always wish him well.
@Ninth Tome lots and lots of DBT therapy and reflection on their daily behavior.
Put your needs ahead of her wants.
I am thankful that there are a few professionals, like Dr Grande who discuss dx's on youtube without the wild attempts at click bait exaggerations or devaluing the person who may have this disorder. Another complementary feedback piece is that the examples used here are real world and varied so I can picture how this looks in the workplace or public when trying to grasp a realistic lens on observable behaviors. Thank you!
I have been separated for a year from a CLASSIC case of this. My wife. Holy shyte.
Perversly I miss the ‘I love yo so much’ stuff, that confused me because she constantly mocked me!
Thing is, I know she had a tough upbringing. Her parents less than stellar. But still, man oh man, she needed attention like a puppy needs its belly rubbed. All the while loving me (too too much) then hating me. I’m still trying too make sense of it. It’s been a while, and I’ll tell you, what a dent she, or it, has put on my brain.
Loud noises. Unpleasant. I was told ptsd, but that seems a bit overreaching.
Therapy continues, wish me luck.
These people are so toxic. I hope they heal. My ex was exactly like this. She was hyper sexual, obsessed with her social image and social media, was always using "sex" to control and manipulate people, and was constantly triangulating me with her male co-workers or trying to make me jealous. She was so shallow and hurtful and abusive.
After our breakup, she went off the deep end exposing her body on social media, it was like a completely different person during the devaluation and discard. I saw such a dark and sinister side to this person I once loved deeply.
I forgive her and hope she finds happiness. I know inside, she is just an attention/validation seeking scared child.
I am a behavior therapist, and one of the things I teach is that, regardless of your issues, you have to function in society or pay the consequences. A psychosis can be treated with mefication. A personality disorder has to actively learn limits and replacement behaviors.
My mom was the bull in a china shop. Unrestrained, loud, gregarious, lacking in empathy, love and social niceties.
The first time she met my husbands parents, she grabbed my husbands mother and lifted her off her feet and shook her up and down a few times.
Are you ever small she exclaimed!!. Husbands mother was an Engineer/ artist and lab technician.
If I could have found a hole in the floor, I would have disappeared into it.
Thats Histrionic. All you could do when around her was smile and nod your head. She was a one woman monologue.
She unfortunately had other cluster B's. Her Rages were so over the top that all you could do was leave. During her rages, she spared no one and her tongue was ugly, vicious and cruel. She had absolutely zero empathy. If she didnt have a reason to rage at you, she'd make up a reason and go at you.
Just describes my boyfriend baby mama...she needs to die
OmG I totally understand!!!
It's possible she has a malignant narcissism personality disorder and also a sociopath.
My mom to a T. It is disgusting and horrible. I almost would have rather had my ass beat.
Legitimately sounds like most people in the entertainment industry....
Exactly
Yeah, and that makes sense. Nobody wants to entertained by quiet awkward people. People in the entertainment industry are way more closed when camera's are off. Remember, it's their job.
@@intoxxxicated8131 HA!! The violation of boundaries in histrionic personality disorder is extremely AWKWARD!!! You are confusing and extrovert with this disorder. Lol
That and the Narvissistic Personality disorter too.
Social media too
This describes me perfectly. What can I do to to change/fix this? I make everyone around me miserable. I don't want to do that anymore.
My friend has this disorder. It’s getting so difficult to deal with her. I legitimately can’t do it anymore.
I don't know either of you but if this is a description of her, she will suck the life out of you and you must realise that you CAN'T fix her. You are just the crutch she needs to offload her hangups.
For the last couple years i’ve considered myself as an attention seeker. i just found out about this disorder, and listening to everything and doing more research on the disorder, i realize that i fit all the criteria. dont know how to feel about it
Social media is the home of histrionic personalities with profound reaction formation...
Very true
I reflect back on some of my actions in the past, and I see a couple traits in myself.
I've been watching myself.
I'd be very interested to hear some examples of 'Normal Personality Order'...?
Have a look on the sci-fi category
This is exactly why I’ve had trouble with my mother-in-law all these years. If I had known there was a name for it, and it was a identified condition, I wouldn’t have been so twisted into a knot. She was the life of the party, made a best friend at the grocery store, wore very large jewelry, everything and everyone was the best ever or the worst ever, Trusted people that she placed as authority on subjects over the facts, and when she arrived there was a scene and whatever was going on got changed. I think she has all 8. She was a hairdresser, in charge of get together at church, had people at her house all the time, was very creative , decorated the church and her home beautifully. But when not “on stage” she was difficult and unreliable. Mood swings were very high and very low with crying jags of weeks, having had an imagined offense. She has all 8. At 85 years old she appeared at a function in a “cold shoulder “ slinky top, lots of jewelry, tight pants and bejeweled sandals. She always thought her feet were one of her best features.😱🤦♀️
I nerd a lot about psychology and the moment I learned about histrionic personality disorder, I wanted to see an example. Sadly very hard to find, since most people with this diagnosis will never know or admit that they have it. To have this specimen on camera is amazing and I have to thank Amber for volunteering.
i had a roommate last year who definitely DEFINITELY had this disorder. it was so exhausting to live with him and so hard to put into words why he made everyone so uncomfortable! we could always tell he didn’t have bad intentions when he would say and do rude and inappropriate things, but it didn’t matter because it was still so stressful to live with someone so attention-seeking, shallow, and gullible. if he had self awareness about these problems and his disorder, i have no doubt he wouldve been easier to live with
One of my clients has this (business client, I am not a psychologist). She hits all diagnostic criteria. One thing she will do as well is say inappropriate things during conversations or Overshare intimate details in a way to illicit shock and awe from the listener to garner more attention. We are not friends and our relationship is business only but she has no boundaries and was quickly intimate with me, excessive texting and oversharing.
When you are used to not being heard or listened to with respect or being allowed to express your side of things I guess that makes one histrionic. It would for ANYBODY.
You mentioned histrionic personality disorder in your video and DID. I had no idea what histrionic personality disorder was, so I typed it in the UA-cam search bar and found this video. Thank you for making this information accessible.
Someone who has a personality disorder isn’t a bad person, as long as they are aware of their behaviors and seek therapy. Unfortunately, therapy isn’t easily accessible and a lot of people don’t get the treatment they need.
Great, educational video. I’m an introvert (f) married to a histrionic (m).
He is a non-stop talker that interrupts others. He interrupts conversations with ppl he doesn’t know. He says shocking things to others, to refocus attention to his witticisms. He exaggerates. He’s dramatic. He MUST be in the limelight. For him, my personality must be difficult to handle. Thanks Dr. Grande.
The most irritating person I've dealt with was a histrionic... Despite the facade, she lived a poor and empty life, always bored and envious of pretty everyone else.
In my experience there is a very covert dark antisocial narcissistic side to HPD do not be fooled by their initial 'vulnerability' their fun party social attitude and do not get too blinded by their physical aesthetics. You know when you meet one hang around long enough you will meet their darker side in devalue and remorseless discards and hoovers. They love to induce sexual jealousy.
Jon Dough I think this differs with people. I know one who can provoke people like pros and others that are like celebs. The more provocative type could overlap with ADHD hyperactive types. Some histrionics are cruel and evil too. This is a great point.
C Klan stfu I don’t even think most with this disorder are like that inherently
True i know a dude is a vulnerable narc but also hpd. They are very similar.
yes.
Jon Dough ...you are 100% correct. I'm currently dealing with one of those harpies. The hoovers are unbelievable. I can't get rid of her. She's basically a stalker at this point. They are very dangerous.
thank you for giving examples of each criteria. very helpful!
This reminds me of a few of the friends I have had over the years. I always thought it was NPD but I guess some of the symptoms overlap.
I would love to see more information on "vulnerable narcissism"...
Possibly its similarities in relation to avoidant PD or with BPD...
My personal experience is with a wife I was married to for 21 years...This wife was enmeshed and engulfed by her parents the entire marriage...Her mother had all authority of her decisions and their was no boundries in her home..The wife in her 30s was still being told to take baths in her dads after bath water in which she did...Very awkward environment in which my wife was a child of her parents the whole 21 years...
Her characteristics was shy..Humble..Almost needy..She just seemed very child like..Unable to make any conclusions on her own etc and often portrayed her very few accaunitices as mother figures rather then a friend...She was very aloof withdrawn and witholding of attention or communication etc...She at home was very self absorbed and angry if approached for closeness etc unless it was her doing the approaching...
There is a whole lot to say..
Anyway her parents died nearly back to back....And she created a new persona and discarded and severely punished myself and our child together..She still views me as an extemtion of her..No boundries..Still comes into bathroom or gets naked in front of me etc even though we are not together...And says she plans on coming back in future...
Her new persona was accompanied by love bombing a new man she never met with 150 thousand dollars in the first year of thier relationship...Vacations..Brand new cars etc....
There is so much to say but to complex to write...
I am raising our daughter who has similar characteristics...Which include..
Aloof..Extremely shy...Withdrawn..Witholding...Ignoring type behavior...Very hard to open up..She has expressed Avoidant type behavior such as feeling inferior and or people are judging her etc..She is highly addicted to isolating and playing with barbies and she is 14...The barbies are ripped apart and have cuts all over them...She is nearly impossible to open up...
Also..Very little emotion..Never see cry...
Mostly anger rage shame jealousy envy etc
Thank you for this video. I'm currently struggling with someone close to me who I am 90% sure she has HPD, I never heard of HPD before until this morning. She's gone through abuse as a child and neglected by her parents, it's really heart breaking. I know HPD is meant to be rare and from what I've researched it said it's 1% of the population. But this woman who I speak of fits all the symptoms and believe me, she's been very difficult to deal with for years since she seperated from her husband and unbearable at this point. I'm going to try my best to help her in some way first, before giving up and cutting her out of my life. It's not only effecting me and her family, it's effecting her friends and her relationships. Mostly, it's going to effect herself more in the long run or short run.
I've been keen to hear you speak on this topic. Thank you for your effort.
The item about "thinking relationships are more than they are" made me cringe at my own behavior sometimes. IDK, Dr. Grande- I really don't think this disorder is dead, at all. And there are plenty of people out there willing to look fragile in the pursuit of whatever they are pursuing, to evoke pity or compassion. // While it might be confusing that there is a personlity disorder that seems to more lew level destructive to the person with the disorder, the disorder is judged as one by the effect it has on other people. I know what it is like to both over confide and to be overconfided in, and an instant relationship that has no substance. Or the loud ness. Yah, yah, been there, see a lot of people there. The criteria (too) is on how personlity manifestations affect people in the disordered individual's life. So, from this perspective, heck yes, it's a real thing! And it should just be there- availalbe. I don't understand the drive to streamline the DSM. More choice, not less. // Wel he he thanks again, b/c l as with like 6 of the 10 PDs just watched 3 related Dr. Grande vids on Histrionic PD, and to send to a friend who's curious, and I totally have tweaks and worries and twinges of Oh Crap, Do I have This One, Too! hahaha!
Thank you for that wonderful description. What you do helps so many people, especially me 😊❤️
I dated a histrionic guy for some days and that was a disaster! We almost got expelled from the movie theather cause he "decided to freak" and get people's attention in the middle of the movie. The entire room stopped to see him scream and complain dramatically about how I wasn't a good girl to him. After a minute this way, people called the security guards and I had to almost beg the guy to stop that drama scene. He stopped, sat in the chair again and we all could see the rest of the movie in peace. Later, still in the shopping, he started a new scene:" hOw CaN yOu dO thAt tO mEE?? I LoVed You So MuChhh!" Then he opened my bag and threw my stuff on the floor. He only stopped when everybodies eyes were on us.
The example of impressionistic speech you give sounds valid. But, for anyone in regular contact with someone with HPD I think it becomes apparent that everything is too much like that. You can't talk about what matters, it's patronising, it creates and aggravated reaction, and that's the point for them.
My x is diagnosed aspd , npd as well as hpd . The hpd was what kepted me super confused on his pathology , high narc behaviors but then would pull me back in with the hpd ( in particular he was very gullible, appeared genuine and caring , very childlike behaviors , changed his persona very often , such a look , values etc ) what a mixed bag of various crazy making pathologies . To be honest I feel sorry for him , who would choose to be like that ? It’s in God’s hands . 16 years of this crazy making I had to save myself 🤨
Angelique Grace agreed. My ex definitely had antisocial personality disorder, although undiagnosed. They are very manipulative and can get away with so much. He lured me in to marriage and then changed after marriage and his hidden past of alcoholism came out. They hook you in and do things so it feels like you can’t escape. All those with ASPD are narcissistic, but not all narcissists have ASPD. It’s terrible, but once you escape it’s like the toxicity and drain that was caused by the person stops and you feel so much better. I hope you heal well! Remember to practice self-compassion often. :)
Good job. Its a hard thing to do
I totally get it!!! They are “SOUL FLIES!!!” Save yourselves!!! 👍
So interesting, thank you for breaking that down so eloquently Dr. Grande!
Saying hello to people as if you're happy to see them tends to make people happy. It's a fairly cheap way to initiate friendship that I've seen popular people use.
I think I'm dealing with HPD, but I'm not sure. I've learned to suppress a lot of my behavior since childhood due to bad interactions, but at the cost of feeling comfortable ins social situations at all. I feel like if I open up at all, I'll just go back to being obnoxious and potentially destructive; but at the same time, the lack of attention is so grating when I'm so closed up. I used to be in a relationship with someone I could open up around, but now I've lost even that. And my therapist hasn't helped much yet, though it's taken a lot of introspection to even understand what I need to tell them.
Most deeply, it feels like I severely lack intrinsic motivation (desire to do things for my own joy), while being most sensitive to or receptive to extrinsic motivation (money, sex, attention). It feels like I have to get extrinsic motivation to enjoy doing something at all, to feel validated in doing something, to feel like I'm permitted to enjoy it without fear of consequence (maybe that fear of consequence is something from childhood). Entertainment can stave off boredom, but that's different from enjoying something. And if I find something frustrating, with no extrinsic motivation to help me over that hump, I just quit outright. I'm so easily frustrated when I'm alone, too. It's just exhausting to deal with this.
My mother likely suffers from HPD. I'm diagnosed with NPD with strong BPD traits, my sister is diagnosed with comorbid BPD and ASPD. It's interesting that the arguably least harmful lead to me and my sister's diagnoses. We got the whole cluster in my family lol
Very Interesting Dr Grande! I'd heard of this by title but really knew nothing about it.
Apparently Louise Turpin has this. Looking up "Histronic Personality disorder" after hearing that is what led me to this video.
HPD does disrupt workplace in a very annoying way. HPD people get bored quickly, so they spin drama, spread rumours, gossip, stab in the back, manipulate, pit people against each other etc. to spice things up. After a while they get so entangled in their lies that people stop taking them seriously. At which point they have to quit and look for another job (disrupting the life of the HPD person herself).
Being incapable of maintaining serious long term relationships (friendships) is quite bad, too. The perpetual depression, the dangerous promiscuity (sleeping with strangers). They often hate themselves for being that way and being unable to stop it.
Downplaying HPD as something mild is not good, in my opinion. People with HPD are suffering, too (although they can hide their suffering behind a mask very well).
Czech MGTOW might these be highly-functioning sociopaths you’re talking about?
I would say so.. as someone who has HPD my Boredom often results off the wall statement/constantly distracting others
There’s no need to hurt others... in my case HPD was brought on by a parent being NPD...
I have hpd and i never ever get bored.
I can't even understand what it means to feel bored.
Lack of imagination, that's what to be bored is.
My ex had it, I always used to think there should be explanation for this kind personality, now I know she is just sick, I am relieved.
Thank you for making this video. It helped me understand the impressionistic style of speech piece.
I like your output on all these narcissistic disorders.ALloa meat up people, what I mean is apts have become no boundaries on on. Thank you so much for your insight Dr.
I heard recently that histrionic pd people will end up with a narcissist...which explains things to me because my ex husband's two other wives were definitely not empaths or codependents... seemed more like narcissists...but histrionics describes them well
Had to come back n check out the old school:) these are gold!!!
I’m watching this video because I heard about this term in the Amber/Johnny Depp trail.
Examples of all the personality disorders please.
Did you look up his published videos on his channel? I think he has covered quite a bit of Clusters A, B and C.
Search “Paris Amelia” on YT. She is a convert to Islam who displays nearly every symptom of HPD to a T, IMHO.
I used to be friends with a girl in high school who reminds me of this disorder, but I think she’s just a regular old attention seeker. This girl would constantly talk aloud about how she supposedly had depression and was suicidal and would constantly interject herself in conversations I would have with my other friends whom she did not know. She also copied me in a lot of ways.
It reminds me of some american celebrities...what they do to catch people's eyes on them and the way they dramactically dance/behave/dress...now everything makes sense
I’ve heard ‘vague, impressionistic speech’ used also of schizotypal PD. Is there a difference in how those speech patterns manifest? (I hang out in quirky circles, where attention-seeking behavior often manifests as displaying eccentricity, and sexuality is frequently out in the open. As an Aspie, I sometimes have trouble telling the difference.)
I’m convinced someone I recently met has this and I’m looking for more examples to see if her bizarre behavior is actually a personality disorder or just a really weird personality
Amber Heard is 8 out of 8 Crazy. Wow this was cool! Thanks
Yes thank for the encouragement at the End. Because, I'm an attention seeker but .mostly I'm just sad.
Good God he hit the nail on the head with JD vs AH
With respect to 'sufferers'. Observation - the world of pop music, celebrity, media seems to completely revolve around these qualities. Very worrying. And quite repulsive.
It's important to clearly state what a personality disorder is before describing a person that you consider having a disagreeable personality.
Always interesting and informative.
Thank you
Peace 💕🇺🇲
But what about the low functioning of the people around the person, specially their children? Is there any studies on that? Specifically is there a relationship between histrionic parents and borderline children, I would really like to know. Thank you
OMG this is Amber!
Thank you for the insightful and interesting video.
When i was younger i displayed nearly all of these symptoms and made a lot of stupid decisions.
Sounds like a friend I've had. He's threatened suicide if people need a break from him, ran away from social gatherings if he didn't feel heard, every time he's had a boyfriend he hooks up with other people behind their back and flirts with everyone, propositions straight guys and men in relationships to have sex with him. He comes on intense if he really likes a guy, saying "you're the best boyfriend I've ever had" even if they've only talked for a day. Sends random selfies to people or posts that he's depressed, hoping for a response. All of his relationships seem surface level and shallow, and I'm not sure he cares about anyone or how they try to help unless it's a guy he wants to do sexual things with. He refuses therapy to deal with any of it and never thinks he can be wrong. Frustrating and sad. :/
When I was younger, I worked as an ER admitting clerk. I remember a couple of women who were discussed by the nurses and doctors as engaging in Munchausen (by itself, but also one woman, by proxy) and a mental state like this was discussed. When I studied psychology, I saw Histrionic in the Cluster B group and thought of this. I still wonder: with aging, parenthood and maybe a divorce or lacking male attention-would an HPD individual go to that extent to attain their supply of attention? Sometimes, being a housewife, aging and not having the means for flash and bling might cause that "attention" to be harder to attain (much like a narcissist's "supply" gets scarce when they age). If so--could they be a danger both to self and others? In the case of Munchausen by proxy--it can be quite abusive, hence the inclusion into the Cluster B arena. Not every sociopath kills; nor does every histrionic hurt or poison their child...but they will if the situation is "right" or "called for".
ok so the things you said kind of reminded me of myself.... I thought the relationship thing was exaggerating closeness but it's actually telling people a whole bunch about their life that they don't know what about lonely people though is there like an excemption for them? Only thing that was not me was the sexual side. I'm very selective with men. But suggestive especially with the most direct person and chiming into conversations in that way is my thing I used to dress provocatively and care a lot about my appearance but a lot of people seemed really negative so I kind of hide away when I do interact it's a lot how you described. If that's the wrong way to interact how is one supposed to act to get attention no man is an island
From what you wrote it sounds like you are an average girl who has insecurities just like everyone else. You want attention just like everyone else. But you still have a healthy amount of self awareness and boundaries. Be glad you don’t qualify for hpd. People with hpd lack self awareness and boundaries, their relationships with others are very shallow, fake, and self serving. They are jealous people who will do just about anything to be the center off attention, constantly searching for groupies or they will pout and act out. They seem physically ill without it, it’s pathetic. They usually cycle through many different relationships rapidly in order to get their attention quota met.
Dr i came to wish you merry chrismas and a happy prosperous new Year ...
What scares me is this sounds like me and I don't want it to be me...
This are really "flashy" personalities and flirt all the time, even when they have a couple or just because of the fun. I think everyone is free, but it gets annoying and inadequate. The worst part is that then they complain that they don't take them seriously... It can be fun, but in a small dose. A really small one.
Thanks for these examples!
Really feels like Clementine from that movie [Sunshine if a Spotless Mind] with Jim Carey but more shallow.
Like the, " Manic Pixie Dream Girl".
What a great vid, it really helps to go thru your list!
I feel more comfortable behind the scenes, I am provocative and sexually charged, I take pride in my looks, but do not dress sexually suggestive, I wear tasteful jewelry, I do hug people in a social environment, I do not trust people in an authoritarian position, I stand firm to my opinions of brands and do not have loyalty to others ideas, so as you can imagine, I feel weird that I've been diagnosed with this condition.
reminds me of my mom a bit. I think she was NPD mixed with this
I have some of those symptoms but I'm not necessarily easily influenced or a social butterfly (I'm definitely an introvert. I do socialize a fair amount with my friends. However, closely following the classic example of introversion, I have very few friends, but with deep relationships.).
I think it's just my personality. :P
(Sometimes I'm dramatic but usually rather in a mocking or exaggerated way with the intention of being humorous. And I don't dramatize things - in fact, it irks me when people dramatize things. And finally, one rather funny thing, I sometimes aggressively seek attention from some people, but not everyone. In fact, one day in school everyone started singing happy birthday to me. I was so overwhelmed I cried and hid ...... yeah.)
Do you think people with Histrionic personality disorders have had the "Present but Absent" type of parents? (They're present, but don't _engage_ much with the children.)
Obviously, some of these cases could be caused by hormones/chemical imbalances, but others, the way the brain developed?
When Dr Grande mentioned the excessive jewelry, the first thing that popped in my mind was the lady from Tom and Jerry who used to wear jewelry up until her elbows XD
The problem with these personality disorders,is that the person may never seek professional help. I’m not a doctor, but I know people with personality disorders, and even though they may never be diagnosed by a doctor, they meet all or most of the criteria, and so a person who has studied these things on a personal level will be able to spot them. I’m married to a narcissist, and he would NEVER admit that there is anything wrong with him. I know that he’s a narcissist, because he has almost all the classic symptoms. But he will never be diagnosed, because according to him, everyone else is the problem, and he’s never to blame. These people are diagnosed by family and friends, because they will never seek professional help. And that is a major problem, and why they will never improve. In their own eyes, they’re already perfect!!!!
Nah. The issue with histrionics is that if they go to therapy they end up hating that the professional gets payed to "care". They will try to seduce the therapist if they are of the oppesite sex. Never trust them. Accuse them of not caring. And on top of that be jealouse of him treating other clients. Histrionic people are hard to treat. Almost impossible.
I know a 22 year old “introverted” histrionic. She exhibits most of these behaviors in an online setting.
I love all of your videos and I love you
Could tattoos or piercings be counted as flourish like jewlery or flamboyant clothes?
My problem with letting histrionic diagnosis go from the MDS is that though HPD is not often associated with disfunction, they can and do cause BPD in their children as my sister did to her daughter. But if we let go of this diagnosis, they will do great damage with no acknowledgment of the harm these people are doing, especially to children in their care. If there was an area of research that should be conducted about HPD, it should be about this collateral damage aspect of this sneakily deceptive personality disorder.
I can find lots of videos about the effects of having a narcissistic mother but none for having a mother with HPD, I'd love one!
Incidentally, my mum ticks most of those boxes, always dressed to the nines, tells me repeatedly how many compliments she's had on how she dresses (some of these can go back years.) She has no boundaries with workmen, inviting them into the home for dinner and asking them to give her rides to different places. She has inappropriate conversations with anyone and everyone, including discussing her moslem friend's sex life with her (and then repeating it to me.) I can remember burying my head in a magazine, aged 12, while my mum discussed her clitoris with her friend. She expressed horror at her gardener showing her some explicit nudes he'd received but, somehow, she elicits that kind of behaviour from people (while he was round watching TV with her.) She was constantly in competition with me when I was younger, always telling me she was better looking/had better legs. She talks in a loud voice about other people's children (saying nice things about them even if they have a face only a mother could love!) in restaurants until the parents strike up a conversation with her, if they don't hear a comment she'll repeat it until they do. She's highly suggestible.
She's in her 80s now so unlikely to change!
Dr Grande has a patient who's a Toyota enthusiast. Because as we know Toyota is the Chevrolet of the far-east. Nice cover, Dr Grande.
Unfortunately my mother-in-law also has 8 / 8; she ruins every birthday (that's not hers) Christmas (if someone gave a better gift than her) she gets in the face of young children when they fail to give her what she feels is proper attention...she uncomfortably stares at my children until they acknowledge her presence; she throws temper tantrums when not being properly greeted upon entering a room...she doesn't care if the attention she demands is positive or negative...just as long as she has the attention; she inappropriately flirts with young boys at my children's gatherings..on and on the worst thing is we moved her in with us when my father-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and now that he has passed we are stuck with this lady...she loves to argue..all the time, she gets angry when my wife and I go out to dinner without her..even on our anniversary, we really don't know what to do...she can't live on her own as she has not been in a grocery store in 50 years, has no idea how to complete a check or use a credit card...ugh!!!
to add when her husband was having a stroke in the middle of the street and the EMT's mistakenly said out loud, "this looks like a TIA - mini stroke"; she burst out with "now what's going to happen to me?" while they were working on her husband on the sidewalk...then when he was diagnosed with cancer and my wife and I were formulating a game plan; she burst out again and said: "if you two are going to be at the hospital all the time (she never went to one CHEMO treatment) then who is going to take me to get my hair and nails done?" really if Hollywood created her as a character no one would find the character believable...
I've never heard of this disorder before and now that I'm listening to the symptoms half the people in my country sound like they have this. And I'm dead serious, this isn't a joke. Can an entire culture have a personality disorder, or can a personality disorder be a characteristic of an entire culture?
Katie Frank I think that’s possible. I’m from Jamaica and they praise people with light skin to the point where a lot of people will bleach their skin so that they can be attractive to others. It has caused them to not truly love themselves so I do believe that a whole culture can have similar personality disorders. Not all Jamaicans bleach by the way it’s just that it’s a very popular thing down there.
I think that if ppl stay around it, they tend to pick up on some of the characteristics?...idk but these ppl suck every ounce of energy I have and they give me instant anxiety!!! 🙌. I have a family member with this. I had to distance myself...
Prolly not. You’re probably taking the 3/8 and 4/8 and completing them falsely to be a 5/8 score. Just because these traits exist, doesn’t mean a person fully qualifies. People can also be transiently acting out... for variety of reasons, aka teens being media-spoon-fed sexual content to the point where they think that they should act that way just to fit in... until they grow older and realize the kind of attention this sexually provocative behaviour brings.
Some people too, idolize HPDs and NPDs and SPDs! These people are so magnetic that they can really have rippling effects and imitation by folks who are followers not individuals.
no
Are you from Israel?
Hello, Dr Grande. I have watched and enjoyed listening to almost all your uploads. I would like to thank you for sharing this, often hard to come by, information.
I have some questions for you; How do you view the extreme rise of narcissism in western culture and the effects it would have down the road for the status of the diagnosis? And do you agree that there is such a thing a cultural vs. personal narcissism? (China vs USA)
This describes one of my coworkers to a T
Dr. You wouldnt happen to have any information on individuals with all 3 antisocial, histrionic and narcissistic personality disorders?
Does HPD not have more in common with BPD?
@@melissam597 More so with HPD, BPDs are more prone to suicidal behaviors and self-destructive attitudes and behaviors, although, HPDs and NPDs also do outrageous things, but more so over-the-top.
I've been going through hell in Canada trying to help my daughter. Finally got some mental health attention and they are saying she has Histrionic Personality Disorder. I agree with a personality disorder but definitely not this. So frustrating. Not sure why clinicians fail to contact family members for their input. The people who know them best.
It's because "clinicians" think they are God. Clinicians think they are paragons of perfection who get to judge everyone else. There's a REASON why Jesus said, "Judge not, lest YOU be judged." In the same manner these character judge others, God will judge THEM.
Can't you 'shop around' for another mental health expert, refuse to give them Godlike status by refusing to engage with their services...listen to enough of this guy's videos & he will help you describe your daughter's mental condition. Keep seeking & you will find.
I went into ER with injury and now I need sacroiliac fusion - the ER doctor put in my notes I was histrionic and even worse he actually put IV morphine in - narcissistic he must of been to treat a patient with drugs , but also call them a liar in the same sentence
What a great video thank you
There are more behaviors that i noticed in histrionic women.. like referring to people by their status/occupation . e.g The doctor, The scientist, putting emphasis on that when talking about them when not in their presence.The jewelry i don't really recognize as very typical and is not as consistent a behavior as much as dressing provocative is, i think there might be a cultural element to the jewelry that makes that more specific to the environment. The overreaction to seeing someone and being overly physical when greeting is something one might also find in other cluster b disorders and is a behavior exhibited by those needing a lot of affirmation. There is a lot of overlap with other cluster b personality disorders like borderline. It is understandably a controversial classification. But there do seem to be behaviors that are different from the other cluster b disorders that do warrant a separate classification.
@DrGrande, I am a training psychotherapist being treated for BPD and HPD, do you have any additional suggestions on treatment options aside from DBT and mindfulness based interventions, or does the literature mainly support DBT as the primary model. Is there anything to suggest Psychodynamic or Psychoanalysis have good results? Thanks for your videos I have just subscribed.
Although I've self tested four times through different sources if i possess HPD....and through the info of this video, I'm gladly, but slightly still convinced i don't have the disorder. Yet, omg the personalities I've encountered that in large would qualify to have HPD.....🤔🙄.
Oddly I find some common themes among HPDs I know, tattoos, big use of nick names, vulgarity and (if they have social media accounts) mega “extra” public displays of affection and praise targeting their own family and friends... that’s among HPDs I know - anyone else?
your glasses make it look like you have nice winged eyeliner. Looks good on you
Wow! Thank you! Is it possible to have HPD and narcissistic PD together? Trying to figure out the nightmare I lived growing up at home
I just heard of this disorder. I live with someone who I believe was a narcissist but then I saw this disorder and it was spot on with this person BUT, I do also think this disorder has narcissistic tendencies. I'm not a doctor by no means but I've known this person for over 30 years and have lived with them for six years. The manipulation and complete lack of thought for others unless there is something in it for them is incredible.
As this person has gotten older and have lived with them NOW I can see through so much. Habitual lying is another issue we have with her. To the point that it gets to be silly to my husband and I.
I truly think this person is incapable of caring for any living thing other than herself. I've even had issues with her because she will feed her dog until the poor thing gets sick but that gets her attention. She'll literally call people that she just met and cry about her dog and they will come to comfort her. She got one young couple to pay for a dog to be put down when my husband and I were out of town. The dog should've been put down at least a week before that but she literally just watched the dog cry and yelp and howl with pain. She would not listen to me at all about the dog. SICK!
This person is well aware of what she is doing. I don't have much sympathy for her "condition" when I know she knows exactly what she is doing and why she is doing it. She knows it is wrong also. So, when you say nobody is being "hurt" I disagree. They hurt plenty of people, plants and other living things. They just don't care. Granted this is a disorder but it is an inexcusable behavior that should not be tolerated.
Setting boundaries has been the best solution to co-existing with this person but I do have to set them over and over again. They act like a child who has never been told no. It's really sad and aggravating.
I've never seen her keep a friend over a few months yet either. After they stop giving her attention and paying for everything, she's done with them OR they catch on to her really fast and distance themselves from her.
I’m here after the amber heard trial
I keep thinking of comedian Chris Kattan as Mango from SNL for some reason.
Sounds like most rappers.
I was just thinking that lol
Seriously, Cardi B!
Dorian sounds like most cutters
I was thinking goth and punk people
Rappers are narcissistic.