Histrionic Personality Disorder | The Signs
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- Опубліковано 13 тра 2024
- Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is termed by clinical psychologist and MedCircle expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula as "superficial personality disorder" or "a seduction disorder." Dr. Ramani discusses the 8 traits of histrionic personality disorder (HPD).
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00:00 Intro
00:29 Borderline personality disorder vs histrionic
03:48 1. Uncomfortable when not the center of attention
04:47 2. Sexually seductive behavior & conversation
07:11 3. Shifting shallow emotions
08:35 4. Uses appearance to draw attention
10:03 5. Impressionistic and vague speech
13:55 6. Dramatic or exaggerated emotions
16:39 7. Suggestible (easily influenced)
18:54 8. Overestimation of intimacy
24:00 At what age do people get diagnosed?
25:00 HPD in men vs women
27:20 Co-occurring disorders
#mentalhealth #psychology #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #histrionic #hpd #medcircle
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I like how dr ramani talks about women wearing suggestive clothing to get attention, meanwhile she is wearing a low cut dress with her chest hanging out. Love it! DR. im single!!!!!
_Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality')_
I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
The are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Elliott Till.
ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition).
SUMMARY:
Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b)
[Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL).
☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you. 🙏🏾
PS: ESFJ are Amber Heard behind the public mask.
___________
#Save_Soil
This disorder is basically ESFJ neuro-personality (neuro-psychology)! ESFJ are secretly Amber Heard behind the public mask! They are an evil/anti-human neuro-personality type!
They do not experience emotional-empathy as an 'instinct'! This includes genuine humanity and a moral compass!
European ESFJ invented racism! It is in their neuro-psychology! If you know how ESFJ bully (look up ESFJ narcissits and how they abuse), it's literally the same thing as 'racism'; same characteristics but on a larger scale!
Lastly, ALL ESFJ, ESFP/ISFP experience 'pathological HATE', it is their default emotional state, hence they are secretly emotionally-disturbed! They have a 'pathological disregard for rationality and reality' - this makes them unintelligent!
@@Augfordpdoggie Suggestive dress paired with many other traits. Cherry picking 1 or 2 out of a list of criteria does not meet a proper diagnosis For Histrionic personality disorder, or any disorder for that matter. What you're saying doesn't make any sense in regard to the topic at hand; however, your comment does bring attention to your own inability to focus on anything besides a woman's physical appearance, and how that relates to your own needs.... Sexist, I'd say. No surprise that you're single. 😂
Borderlines are very narcissistic yet have empathy unlike NPDs and psychos. They hurt but they also can be very thoughtful and mindful yet it’s like a thoughtlessness takes over in an instant.
When i was much younger I met a new girl at school. We were about 16. One day she came to my house to visit and my mother, who is normally the most unjudgmental person I know, immediately disliked her deeply. She explained to me that she was concerned because, as a parent you see each of your kids and their strengths and areas of vulnerability. With me she said, though it is a fine quality, I empathise and am a good listener. We had several battles over this other girl and one day my mother asked me: 'What role do you play for her? Where are YOU in this relationship?' I didn't quite understand and my mother said: 'You are her audience.' She was absolutely right. This girl was always in the midst of some epic trauma or dramatic experience, which she would talk about for days on end if I had let her.
The thing that really did it was that my father did not like her either and I was always very close to him. I'm fairly sure my mother set him up to drive us to wherever we were going so that he might get through to me.
From my mother I learned to ask: Where am I in this relationship?
From my father: What do we talk about?
If ALL they ever talk about is their emotional turmoil or intense stories, you are their audience. I tried once to re-direct the conversation to something of interest other than her problems and like a rubber band she pulled it right back to 'All about me me me and more drama and horror.' Within 5 minutes of her being around I would feel as if every drop of blood in my body had been sucked out. And that was the end of that.
Yeeeeessss. Unfortunately it took me decades to learn to not play this role any longer. It can be done.
@@sirmadam8183 me too, I wish someone had told me you are their audience when I was a teenager. What a perfect way of opening someone's eyes without talking badly about the other person.
I feeel this! At about the same age, I met a girl who has since been diagnosed with bpd. When I heard that, I immediately felt, looking back that it's probably actually hpd. I know I can't diagnose and do sympathise as she has suffered a lot but everything was about attention and audience. This video describes her so well. When I drew boundaries, she rejected ME rather than desperately cling. I had to walk away. Her clique who she controlled were kinda shallow too so ditched me when I walked away but although lonely, I was better off.
I had a friend whose favourite subject was herself...
Perfect... and I get it, having been sucked in myself. Good we learned.
I have HPD and BPD. My therapist calls it borderline with Histrionic tendencies. I have a favorite person but I constantly want attention from everyone. I’ll actually use my SO in a way to get attention from others. Like “look how much I love him and adore him.” I go between deep emotions and shallow emotions. I’ll mirror the emotion of someone else and not feel a thing, then the next moment I’ll feel a true emotion and feel it to my core. My appearance is my existence. I always look my best and put on my “model persona” when I walk into a room. I went to a wedding once in a full on gown not even aware I’d look like I was trying to take the attention of the bride. The only reason I’m aware now is because I’ve been in therapy for 5 years. I’m still very much histrionic and borderline, but my awareness helps me not be so self centered in my approach to things.
How has it effected your relationships?
Hey thank you so much for sharing, I hope you're having a great life 🤗
Best wishes and take a lot of compassionate care of yourself. No one else has as much to lose in the whole thing.
Very self aware and keep working on yourself. 5 years of therapy allready is a great accomplished. Wishing you well ❤
It takes a lot of power and to be able to say what you said and come out with this in a public forum. I'm not going to wish you a great life and all that fluff as some people here are doing. I'm going to wish you the peace in your heart that you really need in your heart. But I'm also going to wish everyone the peace they need in response to your post because everyone here is struggling with some psychological issue or they wouldn't be here. Just remember, don't become too identified with any diagnosis that you have received. Another words you could or could not be that diagnosis and of course you're not a diagnosis, your human being first. Do the best you can with your symptoms but try not to have people see you as a disorder including the people right now giving you " hope you have a wonderful life" stuff cuz no one has struggles contentment is what we and others really want for ourselves and you being okay with yourself. Everybody struggling with some mental health disorder whether it interferes with their functional life or doesn't you just happen to have the courage to come out with it. From that, I believe without knowing you personally that you are probably further along than those people who are complimenting you and that includes me because at least you have the courage to be okay with people knowing this about you.. remember you are not defined by this disorder. Remember you are not flawed or you are not less than anyone here,.. you are as equal as everyone on this forum. Some of the people wishing you well actually show signs of histrionic and have features of borderline and they are probably not owning to share that. They are too embarrassed and ashamed. So congratulations on being able to rise above any shame or embarrassment here. I know I couldn't be that transparent in my life, ...so therefore you're further along than most people, including me. 👍
Its interesting to think about how this disorder is sort of commonly used as a "character trope" in a lot of TV shows.
Wow
Update: You got the "with no audience we don't exist" SPOT ON!!!!
I have HPD with BPD traits! I'm excited to see this later when I have time! I'm hoping that you delve into the core reason for HPD people's suffering: We can't see ourselves internally. We don't have a functioning internal sense of self and because of that we rely on external sources for our self esteem. Attention fuels us. If I spend an hour without positive attention my mood crashes and I feel like I'm blending in the walls and I cannot function. Its a terrible feeling. And living alone is torture. I've noticed that with NPD you tend to talk more about the partners of NPD people rather than the suffering of the person with NPD themselves. But I'm hoping you really delve into the reasons behind the behaviors us HPDs exhibit.
I would also love the insight
People around cluster Bs suffer too. Their suffering are no less than cluster Bs and I would say more so especially if they are confused and trauma-bonded. Dr Ramani's primary focus is to to help people suffering from narcissistic abuse and it's 100 percent her perogative to focus on that instead of something else. She sure as hell didn't just talk about the partners of NPDs, she does way more than that. Besides, HPD is different from NPD, I'm sure you can find someone else to give your HPD the attention you desire.
@@captlanc Hi there! I'm so sorry to hear that you feel I invalidated the experience of people in clusterB people's lives. All feelings and experiences are valid. Of course it is up to Dr. Ramani to choose what she wants to focus on! However, I am also allowed to express that I feel that there should be more videos focusing on truly trying to understand those with PDs that include information that could help them in their healing journey. I'm not my HPD, its only a part of my experience. Even people with PDs have personalities and values that are valuable to the world! I hope you have a lovely day and can do something that makes you happy!
I’m really sorry that sounds exhausting! I don’t want or need attention cause why would I? But I wonder if their is a cure for that?
@@michelleamaya6446 As far as I know there's no clear cut cure but working in therapy on developing an internal sense of self is the closest that I know of! Which is easier said than done.
Dr Ramani’s opera impression 😂 she’s so good at explaining in detail each disorder, so easier to understand than any other sites, thank you for this amazing insight x
Thanks for supporting mental health education!
Don't insult Dr. Ramani like that. Tsk tsk.
omg, I want to see a Med Circle's Therapy Musical!! It would be awesome 😍
@@kailemarie6021 I’m sorry I don’t understand what I said that was insulting ? X
She's so amazing 😇
I love the chemistry between Kyle and Dr. Ramani- best duo on this channel!
sssst quiet!
sure, she's a cupcake
Um… I thought bro was gay. ( totally supportive of lgbtq) just saying though…
@@jaynebarry5658 I’m saying their chemistry as co-hosts/friends lol. Yes, I do believe Kyle is gay.
@@kamilaford5752 I appreciate the give and take between them as well.
My mom was/is HPD and covert NPD. Suffice it to say, it was exhausting and miserable. Enjoyed this explanation.
Same. All the fake crying because she hid something in order to blame someone else for losing or stealing it.🙄
My mom's a covert narcissist, she's not talking to me anymore, ever since I called her out, oops.
@@juliethorne1247 It's awesome that you stood up for yourself and spoke your truth! I wish you all the peace and healing :)
That sounds just like my mother! She also has severe hoarding disorder. I have noticed, though, that as she gets older, her behaviors get progressively easier to deal with, and overall less of the behaviors are present/noticeable. She is almost 70. It's much easier to interact with her now than before. It took her a very long time to mature.
@@olivegoddess1 Thanks for telling your story. I’ve been a toxic mom, and I’m working very hard on changing. Thanks for being empathetic to your mom. May you have everything you need in life, and May life exceed your expectations.
I've got a family member who is histrionic, and I've got a doozy. They came in late to another family member's funeral (who died very young of lung cancer), and stood up and sang a song BY THEMSELVES that had already been sung by the person who had been hired/asked/employed by the funeral home to sing. Hand to God ✋️
W😮W
Reminds me of the kind of thing you might see in an episode of “Six Feet Under.”
I wish all people in trouble and pain could get someone as Dr Ramani to calm their worried minds. She is just amazing! 😎
Thank you so much for this my ex, who I know wholeheartedly is on the dark triad, used to accuse me of having this and borderline for **reacting** to his stonewalling, gaslighting, head games, and psychological torture. And of course they’re so good at getting into your head that I didn’t think there was something wrong with me so now I’m researching these disorders and this is 100% definitely not me.
Crying or having a panic attack because someone hurt me immensely, kicked me when I was down, and refused to apologize isn’t histrionics. It’s a normal response to an abnormal situation.
Can you please do a series on religious trauma 🙏 I don't think it's being discussed a lot and yet there are many suffering from it
Ya. How about children who have grown up in Masonic occults? Definitely traumatic.
@@mscraig5147 Dr Ramani has a series on narcissistic leaders in cult with Flor Edwards on MedCircle.
Amen! It's real!
You probably need to find a therapist, or individuals that do discuss it. Because I don't think she will ever discuss it. Most people don't discuss it, because they don't think it's real. Or simply not interested in the subject matter at all.
@@ladennayoung2939 not just that. It's also bc of the controversy around the subject 😶
The most histrionic people I have ever met are actually very “alternative” type people - It may be the circles I run in. Like for example they wear onesie pajamas in public, have to have the brightest hair, play with gender, sickness roles and race a lot (like claim they are a certain ethnic group they are not), make stories up detailing how different and quirky they are from others. Very exhausting people.
Granted, I really don't get out much anymore, but this is the second time recently that I've heard of adult's wearing onesies, in public, on purpose, and not as a joke or part of a costume for a school play, or something that would make it make sense to me; I know people can wear whatever they want, but I am having trouble understanding how and why this trend started! To each his own. I'm just having trouble imagining, what shoes? What jewelry, if any, does one wear, because I would have to add jewelry?!
Exactly! I’m going out with a guy and his appeal is that he is “ boring “- meaning he is Not a musician, actor, poet, dancer, and doesn’t talk about the issues I am involved in. He is so refreshing! I’m exhausted with the crazy personality disorders I’ve met in the arts and activism work
So true.
I believe my mom has HPD, but she was never diagnosed. Many of these qualities remind me of her, but the one that made me laugh the most was the "dramatic" example of wearing feathers, etc. My mom had a belly-dancing costume she wore when she was pregnant in in her 40s, with all kinds of tassels. She also used to wear wigs on a regular basis, and one time she wore a wig on the Matterhorn at Disneyland, and it came off and hit some poor lady in the face. It scared her half to death, I think she was a Japanese tourist she probably thought the Yeti got her lol
I find as a mother who has raised nine children and has seen many kids being raised throughout my life that a lot of these personalities are manifested from lack of proper parenting and it moves into their adult lives until the issues are dealt with.
Eh, while you do have a point, that it plays a role, you have to be careful there. I have seen many families with 3 or 4 or more children and 1 or 2 of those kids just have issues - despite being raised in the same households. I get it - parenting does play a big role - but it's a mix of nature and nurture for sure.
@@chrisg7975 I wholeheartedly agree. I think we've progressed enough in our understanding of mental illness to have to fall back on the outdated trope of blaming everything on parenting. Sure, it can be a contributing or aggravating factor in someone already predisposed but I think our current understanding of the brain recognises the complexities of human development and intertwined relationship between nature versus nurture.
9 children? 😳
@@chrisg7975 being raised in the same household doesn’t mean each child is living the same experience. Every kid has their own temperament etc from the beginning, and the way adults respond to each child will differ depending on things like that.
@Babs Kaz same. I was threatened with foster care so much over literally nothing that I actually started wanting to go live somewhere else, even though I was told they would “make sure” I’m “put with a family who is WAY worse” than they are
This is my sister. She can’t really pull off the appearance stuff, so she goes in a different direction. Telling her childbirth stories (overly dramatized with some straight up lies) during the sit down dinner at a dinner party. Holding court. Going on business trips to the middle of nowhere, and somehow she would sit next to Catherine Zeta Jones in a restaurant, and Angelina Jolie on the airplane. Grandiose, compulsive liar. The closeness/intimacy thing - omg yes. I’m been NC with her and my mother (narcissistic borderline) since Christmas, 2015. Literally ZERO contact. On my birthday in May 2018, she made a very visible, flowery post on my Facebook page: “While we don’t always talk…”. Seriously? She makes my skin crawl. Shallow as a teaspoon.
Wow! I am always fascinated by people who are obviously compulsive liars; you just know they are making up their meeting of famous people, grandiose experiences, over and over, never a dull moment in their lives! Reading your comment though gave me gratitude that none of these people are family, and I could easily avoid them if I wanted to, but I am glad you are able to deal with them in your life. I hope things continue to go well for you with the NC.
@@cpwood3506 my ex was going to take me to Paris for 10 days when he was scheduled to be recognized at his old school. Never heard another word about it.
Shallow as a teaspoon is a brilliant phrase. I was just thinking of someone like this and all I could come up with was perpetually vapid.
Thank you for sharing, I’m glad I’m not alone in experiencing both the sister and mother stuff
Sister has had this for 35 years. Exhausting for everyone -- parents, sister, children, and husband. Have watched her quit everything in her life -- multiple jobs, colleges, adoptions, churches, etc. Explosive emotions and gets furioius if folks don't listen to her stories.
As a hairstylist of 20yrs. I have to deal with a lot of these personality problems 😪. It is very draining. Especially when I spend a lot of hours with them😣
Do you meditate? What helps you to decompress? 20 years is a lotta experience, and it seems it does weigh on you, but I’m just wondering what you’ve personally found to be helpful.
Hairstylist = (Psychologist)... 🤔😆🤣✌
One of my Aunt's was a Hairstylist for many years and she declared that you had to be practically a PSYCHOLOGIST in order to cater to their clients ego (in order to get a good tip)...?? 🤔😆🤣🙃✌
@@Astrid_Grace no I don't. I need to! I've been setting some tough/hardcore boundaries with my clients, that's has weeded out most of the trouble makers(narcs). But there's still a few lingering 😒
Change your job 👍😉
She is so articulate 💯
Congratulations on having her in the US of A. She's definitely excellent and I'm glad she's keeping you guys company.
Dr. Ramani looks healthy and happier.
We are really grateful for the knowledge shared as well.
But had to mention that She looks sort of brighter.
Yup dr. ramani is excellent. Had a therapist say some bad advice to me overhere and I can't help wonder about the difference in psychologists. I've recently found out they are all academically sound.
In my anorexia days when I was in my 20s, I had a friend pick me as a bridesmaid because I was a size 2…thanks for answering that one for me, Dr. Ramani.
WOW!!!!!!
1. Uncomfortable if NOT the center of attention (usually how they look.) “Peacock on a treadmill.”
2. Seductive: how they talk about things, flirtatious with both sexes. (It’s also a seduction disorder.)
3. Shifting emotions. Shallow is their baseline. Can respond immediately, superficially to diff demands.
4. They value appearance of their friends/cohorts, as well as themselves. How you make them look.
5. Highly impressionistic with no details (word salads served daily.) They talk ephemerally, vaguely. They’re not clear on their own motives/motivations.
6. Dramatic! Exaggeration of emotions. Lack of insight with big, big gestures. Makes people feel overwhelmed.
7. Suggestible, childlike. Not much critical thinking. They fall for scams that are self-serving “$10,000 to let my demons go, and I fly higher.”
8. Overestimation of intimacy. They think people are much closer to them than they really are. Like the person who meets Serena Williams and then tells everyone they are friends.
#5 Sounds like Kamala Harris and her word salads
My mom has some
@SchwarzWeiße Wand I just don’t feel like I have grown up with a mother.
@@susanmercurio1060 Kamala Harris does word salads because she wants to dodge questions. I knew I did plenty of word salads in school when I didn't prepare for a presentation lol. Word salads are dodgy as fuck but not exclusive to cluster Bs. Kamala Harris is imo just another Hilary Clinton.
Thank you for this very informative information
I’ve suffered narc abuse & alcoholism in both parents and my exhusband. I would wake up everyday severely depressed everyday but i would pull and push myself through- marijuana, nicotine, caffeine. By the time i got to work i was so relieved and happy to be there with people who were so much kinder to me than at home. i loved people from a Gods Love perspective, but burned so many times. I held it as a moral to be kind no matter my circumstances , to be humble, and i treated people like you never know what someones going through so Kindness yes. A hard worker. I think oftentime people would be skeptical of me being too nice. But im just horrified at how unkind others are really.
I can see why people don't like you. Tbh I think you sound superficial and hide tidy. I would leave out religion, people are realizing that religion is dangerous.
I hear you people become suspicious be because your consistently kind
.................................
[QUOTE]"Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-Darwinism'![/QUOTE]
.................................
Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality').
I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her.
When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till.
ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition).
SUMMARY
Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b)
[Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL).
☝ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you.
___
#Save_Soil
Pretty amazing that you still have that kind outlook on life after what you’ve been through. I used to be like that, but life and society made me a lot colder to people that aren’t my close relatives. How were you able to stay so kind after all those experiences?
How do you/did you deal with the exhaustion?
Ramani, the fact that you act out these things a little bit in the voice of the histrionic person is really helpful.
Dr. Ramani! Not " Ramani"
@@lisajohnson1627 Whatever mom 😂 I'll talk how I want to talk
You can mind your own business 💝
@@devinbrinesI see is too difficult for you to acknowledge that she is a doctor! You must be one of those miserable envious narcissists she talks about so much. ✌🏽
I love you both - Dr. Ramani is incredible and shining light on something HUGE - I think these personality disorders (cluster B) are at the root of much of the abuse and domestic violence and exploitation we see in the world.
If anyone wants to know what it's like having a relationship with one of these people- keeping a relationship with one of them means they know they can come to you for the attention supply they're looking for and will only reach out to you when they're looking for that attention.
This is so accurate! Thanks
I am passive agressive so to handle that I will give them the silent treatment. Not the best ideal but its mines.
So when they don’t need your attention, they get it from someone else and just ignore you?
@@kayann3 That is my experience.. yes.
I really love Dr. Ramani, she's helped me so so much to destigmatize my BPD, and to understand my mother's histrionic, narcissistic behavior.
Dr Ramani (I apologize if that spelling isn’t correct I suck at spelling) is a national treasure and must be protected
Lol yes, I agree 👍
Hahahahaha this is a hilarious comment that made me laugh out loud and the best part is that it’s true!
I’m studying mental health nursing, and find these descriptive videos so helpful! Thanks Dr. Ramani :)
Good luck
She's quite a powerhouse of insight - and so is he!
He's a brilliant interviewer - I absolutely love it when they grant us a video of their discussions! It should be so very welcome for anyone who should like to understand themselves - and their loved ones! ❤️
.................................
"Evil" is the anthesis to the virtue 'humanity'. Humanity is the characteristic that defines the human spirit. Humanity is symbiosis across humans and society. 'Humanity' exceeds 'social-Darwinism'!
.................................
Also... To intelligent readers (who do 'not’ have a ‘pathological disregard for rationality and reality').
I recommend researching 'narcissitic personality disorder' (NPD) / 'cluster-B'; and know that they are the 'root of all evil' (especially 'ESFJ/ESTJ-narcissits'; Myers-Briggs reference, look it up)!
European 'ESFJ' are the worst personality type, and they are responsible for inventing 'racism' and colonization! It is in their neuro-psychology!!
They are extremely 'manipulative' and often use 'looking pretty' to distract others from the witch's mind-games / mind-rape, e.g. gaslighting, playing the victim or damsel in distress, creating 'flying-monkeys', and paying others to attack (or at times kill) someone for her. When caught, she will use her minions as scapegoats. European ESFJ are notorious for this especially in a racist context, e.g. Emmett Till.
ISFP (and ESFP) are the most complicit, narcissitic-enablers. ISFP also tend to be 'oblivious-codependants' (look up the definition).
SUMMARY:
Evil personality: ESFJ (ALL), ESTJ (cluster-b)
[Secretly] Evil and narcissit-friendly gunts/flying-monkey: ISFP (ALL), ESFP (ALL).
☝️ALL of them are secretly emotionally-disturbed, hence their need to create conflict (and at other people's expense, truly evil).
Spread the word! Thank you.
___________
#Save_Soil
Thank you for using these videos! I've been both a health sciences student and a patient and I've noticed there can be an institutionalisation in health sciences where people will use only certain sources-approved books, journals etc but sources aimed at lay people can be super and are so important. I find Dr Ramani's videos great
My wife and I have had couples' counseling a few times in our 54 year marriage and my very first question BEFORE the first session starts is, "Do you do directive counseling?" If the answer is 'yes' I tell them that I expect directive counseling to begin by at least the 4th session.
I have absolutely no patience with non-directive counseling. I'm not paying money to figure out my own problems. If I could do that I would not be there in the first place.
Thank you, I did not know there was a proper term for a counselor that gives you real insight and education. Directive counseling, how did you become aware of this type of counseling?
I described some of my unhelpful experiences with counsellors when I started my current one. She said oh that sounds like the "non-directive" form - that's not my style. I was like OH (now it makes sense!) and was so glad. She's the one for me! Still seeing her
I predominately do DBT, which is directive. However, there is also room for client-centered/non-directive. It all depends on the needs/desires of the client. There isn't a one-size-fits-all therapy routine. Regarding "figuring out your own problems," non-directive therapy does not do that. Non-directive therapy's focus is to allow you, as the client, to create your own goals for therapy and work together with the therapist to achieve them. Therapists should not give advice; their job is not to solve your problems. Therapy is work for both client and therapist - but mostly for the client. It is up to the client if they choose to put in the effort to get better. I can't work any harder than my client does.
Thank you, Dr. Ramani and Kyle. I needed to hear this TODAY. This is the kind of reminder I need on endless loop, on repeat.
This describes my husband quite a bit. I’ve been trying to figure him out for over 30 years and after he had an affair everything blew up and now I question everything that I thought we had between us. He’s always been an avoidant personality, withholding affection, sex and intimacy in any form. I wondered if he was a narcissist because everything was about him and peoples perception of him. Since we’ve been in recovery therapy, I’ve discovered that he’s not aware of himself or what he feels or why he does the behaviors he does. He gives grandiose gifts but can’t seem to understand repair, restitution, remorse or compassion. He doesn’t process the deeper thought processes or even seem to understand it. When he’s trying to talk about his feelings or our conflicts, he uses “catch phrases”, clichés or a superficial understanding of something we just learned about relationships but it’s all vague and flowery but doesn’t really convey any deep thoughts. He reminds of the “Dexter” character who tries to act like he’s normal but isn’t sure what that means. I often wondered why he never seemed to grow or learn anything in all of our years together. He also can’t learn from his mistakes and keeps doing things the same way expecting a different result. He can show me a profound meme or article and 2 weeks later, shows me again as if seeing it for the first time! Yet, he can’t apply it to his life. When I was trying to get him to explain to me why he cheated, he blamed the influence of the internet or TV or movies or guys at work! Really? He’s that easily influenced? He used to be the guy who would dump a friend if he found out that the friend cheated on his wife or girlfriend because he was so against it! Then one day,he became “that guy”! He decided that I didn’t want to be married to him anymore and began to pursue someone else. He never asked me about it or discussed it. Yet he hid it, lied about it, covered it up and pretended nothing was going on. He had been betrayed by his first wife and never processed his feelings about it. Just moved on with his life. He gets thoughts in his head but doesn’t challenge it to determine if it’s true. He just goes with it. Even if it doesn’t seem to match the evidence in front of him.
He gets jealous of my relationship with our daughter if she’s getting more attention than him but finds numerous ways to push us away. He uses passive aggressive behaviors, gaslighting, manipulation to get his way or to get what he wants without any concern about who he hurts. He’s all about appearances and looking like he’s the good guy, the good provider but withholds emotional attachment. And yet he had an emotional affair! I’m so confused! What I have learned is he’s shallow, doesn’t learn or grow, doesn’t question things or thoughts or ask himself if his random thoughts are true or support the evidence in front of him. He’s now 65 years old and has no clue who he is. No clue of how to fix what he’s broken or even that he needs to!
I can relate to your comment 👍
I felt like I was reading about my own life. I am recently divorced after 25 years and now realize those years were a lie. It's like the whole family life I built was all conjured up in my head. What feels strange is that I can't mourn something that never was. I have discovered recently though, through therapy, that the reason I may have been attracted to my husband, is because my mother was a narcissist. That my mother was a narcissist was another revelation. I could never quite put my finger on our troubled relationship. I wish I had been more aware of all this when I was younger.
@@ItsAllBeenDecided Unfortunately, we don’t know what we don’t know until we learn to know it! I’m well read and intelligent but I’ve never known people who can fly under the radar for so long and be this dysfunctional. You never really know anybody. Especially, if they don’t really know themselves!
Me too...it's combination of several things, like Johnny Depp and Amber Heard, you add alchohol or other outside influence per say, mother in law or aunt's etc, it becomes full blown TOXIC because the Narc/Borderline wants to look good or play victims, when it is the other way around, the VICTIM who is confused and broken from being controlled by other's to keep peace, RUNS away from the toxic people who enabled the dark traid people in the first place....What happens in the dark will come out to the light no one can mock Jeh, the tests proving how much is your love for them gets old.....it becomes too much to deal with..
sounds so much like my xnarc. I think he had this along with narcissism. I pity him but im so relieved to be free.
This was eye opening! I dated someone like this for a couple months and it was so confusing and dysregulating for me… this really helped me make some sense of what was going on there. Thank you for these videos! 🙏
Thank you so much - incredibly interesting and insightful - the dynamic between Dr Ramani and Kyle is incredible.
I'm glad I watched this one. The timing was spot on.
Thank you for this.
I knew a woman once whom I definetly knew was "odd", in a way that was both very endearing and also quite confusing, even unsettling at times. We had an incredible chemistry together, and I ended out falling in love with her. Eventually I confessed my feelings to her.
To make a long story short, she broke my heart, repeatedly, before I cut contact with her for good.
Part of what made it so hard for me in the time afterwards was her erratic behavior, and my inability to understand what was going on inside her head. It was like there was two people inside her. One was a like a little child who had no control over her emotions or behavior, and the other was a perfectly normal adult who was ashamed of her behavior but also somewhat unable to acknowledge or even comprehend it.
Like we met for dinner one time, and she told me something incredibly traumatic that she'd gone through. And I got very quiet and intense, because I was angry and hurt on her behalf.
And she just stopped mid-sentence, looked at me and went all "Awwww!", and she took my hand and was suddenly all smiling and happy. And it was so incredibly confusing. Like, were did all that pain go? And why is my display of compassion being met with a reaction more appropriate for a cute puppy video? Like her emotions weren't fake - just bizarre.
Watching this video and reading up on Histrionic Personality Disorder has really given me a lot of closure. I'm not an expert, and I'm in no way unbiased, it's just that a lot of the traits you describe here really fit with how I experienced her to be - the "teenage girl" like immaturity and lack of insight into why she was doing the things she did, the weird and overblown anecdotes, the inappropriately seductive behavior and extreme concern with her own looks, and also a lack of sincere self-worth and depression.
I think (maybe hope?) that she is in some way perfectly aware that there's something wrong with her. I hope that she can change or at least learn to manage her problems.
Because part of what drew me to her was that I felt like there was a lot of suffering underneath all the flirting and the happy-flappy attitude. She never struck me as a happy person.
You met a histrionic woman.they don't change.yes they are child one moment then they switch to a matured like behaviour in a second..their emotions also change quickly.they present themselves to be so happy around public but inside they are dead lonely and hurt.but I m reminding you very dangerous in nature.they will play mindgames like nothing.
Absolutely love the series on personality disorders by Dr. Ramani and Kyle. They both do a wonderful job of discussing the nuances of the disorders. My students find this series to be super helpful for their studies.
Dr. Ramani is so engaging when she speaks, I just adore her!
I think that cocaine and alcohol are the perfect drugs for the histrionic. Spending time with musicians and those who surround them, I dealt with a whole lotta people just like this. I like people like that. I have a touch of that myself, I'm afraid. But you have to remember that you cannot (usually) count on them for anything. If something better comes along, they'll drop a date or an appointment and be off with that new opportunity. 🤨
I wouldn't even say musicians...just people in LA 😂
Yes, they can be fun for a short time
Wdym by Musicians?
This video and chat session has brought me so much comfort, I cannot begin to thank you enough.
I have been accused of being histrionic, and because I do love vintage clothes, have a background in theater, and an outgoing social personality, the cursory online descriptions I read really gave me pause. Could I be this??? Could my emotional responses to several loved ones I believe to be narcissists actually be my own personality disorder? Watching this allowed me to breathe easier. I do know someone who fits this to a T, and I appreciate the decent and empathetic way the discussion handled it, because I don’t think she has any ill will in her at all. But this in-depth analysis clarified what this disorder really looks like, and showy clothes and being talkative isn’t the whole picture. ❤️
Through your other videos, I have realized that my fear of being “too much” (based on some childhood bullying and a narcissistic father) are being exploited by a narcissist in my life. When I say I will rest easier after having watched this, I mean it. I have been ruminating on this a lot in that quiet time. So again, thank you for this much-needed clarity.
Dr Ramani has helped me see who my partners and friends were in our relationships, as well as myself. It’s very eye opening. Thank you for your effective contributions to the social media sphere. We need it in a world where ANYONE can start an account on ANY platform.
Dr. Ramani thank you ❤ you are looking great, Radiant and healthy. You’ve helped me so much understanding myself living with BPD and Complex PTSD. I really appreciate your work. And thank you too Kyle you’re doing an amazing job. We all appreciate these videos
Love this channel...psych RN here...histrionic seems to have connection to narcissistic PD as well....great discussions...thank you all...the seductiveness aspect is really interesting and a way to differentiate...
Oh wow I’ve never heard of this one before 😭 I would usually describe people like this as narcissists but I guess they’re more than that. I always just figured people are like this because they’re insecure but maybe they literally can’t go any deeper. I’ve met many people that I’ve noticed were off and I just didn’t like them. I could feel something was off and I could not understand why they were so magnetic to other people while, me being a sensitive person, would be repelled by them so deeply. These people are just so insincere I could feel the condescension oozing off of their faces. I’m glad I’m more aware of this :)
Seems to be a lot of overlap with the superficiality, huh? I was thinking the same thing. I think a distinguishing characteristic is that histrionics seem to be a lot more agreeable, whereas narcissists are more antagonistic.
It’s good you have a good intuition. But it’s also good I think to learn about these different personality disorders, so we can kind of see the person behind the disorder as it were. And it doesn’t become so set in stone that that person just sucks or something. However while they are not that good for the people around them it is understandable to be weary.
weird flex
@@Astrid_Grace yeah that’s what I was thinking it’s interesting
@@ellecrescent9834 yeah that’s why I thought this video was so interesting cuz I would usually just think those types of people are bad and just chalk em up to doing it on purpose :) But I guess it’s like kids some of em do weird things on accident and since they’re kids you’re like ‘oh whatever’ but true it’s always good to know to have more sympathy but also alert of behaviors
I am learning something new . It is very informative . Thank you so much Dr. Ramani & Kyle for coming up with the topic
Thanks Dr Ramani and Kyle... I found this video most enjoyable and informing, and I just love the way you two bounce off of each other when you Kyle ask questions and you Dr Ramani explain and then you share a back and forth discussion and collaborate. This really helps with clarity and conceptualising. Very amusing too 🙃😊🧐
I could watch Dr Ramani do impressions of histrionic PD for hours.
I see my sister in this. She cannot ever be alone and loves to have her 'fan club' around her. I cringe when she tells how she went out with a famous pop star when the reality is she briefly met him once years ago. She loves attention on social media and when our mother was dying she milked the sympathy for months. Even now on the anniversary of our mother's death there will be a post on Facebook and everyone will comment how they're sending love blah blah blah. She never even got on with our mother (who herself was a covert narcissist/sociopath). The apple didn't fall far as they say.
I appreciate and am relieved to encounter stories like yours with whom I feel I can so strongly relate to in my own family experiences. It’s helpful to know I am not in this alone, so thank you for sharing. Just out of curiosity, the sister you speak of (who sounds like you are describing my own sister), is she older or younger than you? Mine is 1 1/2 years older. I’m wondering if there are any statistics about birth order when it comes to some personality disorders. Maybe not, just a thought. Thanks in advance for your time in responding to my question.
Apparently from your comments
@@sandisnow7043 sorry for delay in replying but only just seen your post. My sister is two years older than me. I went no contact about three years ago after she sent me a horrid text accusing me of stalking her on one of her Facebook groups. Life is peaceful now although it's sad when it's family but for the sake of my mental well-being I had to do it. Best wishes.
Is she younger or older sister, I feel like younger siblings are more susceptible to this.
This is my mother . I can’t believe how accurate this is . Thank you x
My mom absolutely suffers from this and narcissism. Just yesterday she made a scene at my daughters recital. It's the worst.
Great interview and a very intelligent guest who can describe difficult distinctions in plain language. Treating histrionics with compassion is what I cherished most for this video. They’re so easily made prey.
Glad there are people who recognize they are easy prey and don’t exploit or mock them. We need more compassion in this world.
I agree.
Wow! This is so my mother. Sad. I recently had to cut ties due to her not respecting boundaries and hanging out with my ex husband for some reason. She always has to be center of attention etc!! 🙄
Dr. R is such a gift.
This was extremely helpful as I've been struggling with trying to understand this one character and her motivations... this nailed it.
Dr Ramani explains the disorders so well, I cracked up on her histrionic impressions and the opera one was fantastic.
Dr Ramani is amazing, I love her but Kyle is awesome too. They complement each other so much they are great to watch.
Yes! They’re such a great team ❗️
I am a super introspective Cluster B, who has self-diagnosed with Vulnerable NPD. Sought my way into getting a proper diagnosis far and wide (live in a rural area) and got it. So there are some of us with insights, and with highly developed conscience leading to seeking the truth.
Basketball shorts 🩳 and a T-shirt. Yep. That’s me 😂. I really appreciate you two. Amazing healing dynamic. Thank you both. I comment regularly on Dr Ramani’s channel, and want you to know how grateful and thankful i am for your channel as well. 🙏
After watching so many videos about narcissism describing the trainwreck of my life with a narc, it's wonderful to see Dr. Ramani being funny AF.
Same
The chicken and the egg question comes to mind. This personality disorder is fed and supported culturally - even those who grow up with a relatively healthy family fall prey to it. Social media certainly plays a big role, but the insidious pressure to be an extrovert, to be successful with material gain, breeds these mindsets. I love how Dr. Ramani points out that this is not a gender-limited issue, that it's just how it presents differently.
When social media entered the scene, these personality disorders emerged exponentially…aided by the “selfie”, an array of filters, a followers count, the “Like” button, etc… even dormant traits flourished!
I love Dr. R! Such a great communicator, & she naturally teaches as she’s defining & describing the disorders, scenarios, etc.
This has been such an outlet for me, & it’s hard to explain why.
I went through a horrific work situation in which a boss with either NPD or ASPD or a combo of these &/ or others… targeted me for almost 3 years. God gave me the strength necessary to get through it. If someone had told me I would have to go through that, I might’ve done something stupid (not un-aliving) but something.
Somehow getting this information, being able to define his personality or personality disorder for some reason has really lifted some weight from me. I’m very grateful, so THANK YOU!!!
Keep up the great work!!
I can’t absorb enough!
Wow, you really got stimulated by this, Dr Ramani! Many thanks!
OMG! My narcissistic famous aunt used to wear a cape ad a feather in her hat, and would enter the room with a regal swish and a grandiose pose. I wondered if she might've also been histrionic. Helpful info. Keep it up.
Was she fun?
Being hysteric or this type of personality is sth different than personality disorder
And NPD is different than HPD. someone can be for example ASPD and People think that they're histrionic etc.
LOL how do you deal with that and not laugh??
she sounds awesome ngl
I love listening and learning from Dr Ramani. And Kyle looks great no matter what he wears! 🙂
Yet the low top and dumb glasses on and off are both weird. How about some self reflection on THESE attention seeking behaviors?
Love the talk and information. Extremely revealing! (Your videos are lifesavers). Love the red dress and beautiful hair.
Love, love both of you. 🌸 Thank you for all the wisdom you share with us. 💜💜
"and sometimes people feel guilty, they're like 'omg, they're giving me a seven foot present, I should be nicer about this'.." and that smile Dr. Ramani cracks out made me laugh so hard tears were coming out 😅💚 Much love and appreciation!
There must be soooo many histrionic individuals in Hollywood/Los Angeles....
yep!
Exhausting people to deal with. They're actually very needy and can throw you off balance and if you challenge them it's a thousand times worse. So you have to tiptoe around them. I had one of them staying in my house and I called her out on exaggerated attention seeking behaviour, because I was too tired to deal with it.
She reacted very very badly. So badly she had to leave immediately after dragging everyone around her into a needless drama. Glad to be rid of her. Phew.
Thanks so much, Dr. Ramani. There is so much of this stuff on social media - I have stopped interacting with everyone in those arenas. It just sucks the life force energy out of me and leaves me feeling nauseous.
I've been no contact with my histrionic mother for 28 years and my life turned around almost immediately once I did. I've had a long career and happy healthy marriage and strong supportive relationships.
I wouldn't play along with her lies and bs so I was public eny number 1 from age 10.
I think it helped me to not end up becoming her like she tried so hard to do.
It's been a lifetime of happiness ork on healing and I cannot say strong enough, get away when your humanity is ignored even once.
🌈 💜 🌈
dude... this just answered some questions i had but didn't know where to start looking .. haha.. whoa.. thank you so much for your in depth explanations. your videos really help to eliminate some of the confusion & crossover from learning about these in school LOL and also i see some people i know personally in a different light where i can understand them a bit better.
I have relatives who have this disorder. They are theatrical, over the top, creating drama to make themselves relevant. They need attention. They have no loyalty, remorse, or a moral conscience.
Charismatic yet shallow. As adult now I recognize their tactics, avoid them & run. Being around them is a no win situation in the long run.
Histrionic PD is a fascinating one, not sure I’ve met anyone like this and I doubt I’d ever want to meet one as it’d be totally draining.
Dr Ramani is great, love her work ✌🏻
Excellent. Interesting and informative. Thanks so much ♡
thanx medcircle & Dr Ramani
This is by far the funniest MedCircle video ever - isn't this what we might call Narcissism Light?
so spot on. “when they r not in touch with their feelings they dont know what they are doing” cluster B. so spot on thank you. and there man too like that. like my husband. show off clothes watches etc. and nonstop flirting with everyone, especially girls as its easier to get their attention, and try to be so smooth with man, changing even his voice when in the presence of man.
i love the rapport between Ramani and Kyle, there is some kind of a mother and son connection of some sort..i feel the energy.
I appreciate what she said when asked at the end about how histrionic personality disorder should be renamed superficial PD and how men have this disorder as well, albeit usually exhibiting attention seeking behaviors somewhat differently. However, alll of her examples in this entire interview leading up to that were feminine/those of women. I wish Dr. Ramani would examine her own bias that persists from a history of clinical psychology steeped in sexism and make efforts to correct the imbalance when giving behavioral examples.
He did well to keep his eyes looking straight ahead.
Kyle is the best! What a great interview partner.
Not only are you perfectly describing someone in my life, but you are mimicking her exactly!
I'm definitely a big fan of histrionic clothing!
My mother reacted hysterically and inappropriately to anything she thought was the slightest bit different from her way of thinking, she was also a princess. I'm leaning more toward narcissist, this is really hard because she made no sense to me. I'll keep listening and thinking, thank you!
I also think histrionic and narcissistic personalities overlap a lot... But based on what she said I guess the difference may be that the histrionic may be more naive.. as she discribed "more child-like" and be deceived.. while I guess the narcissist would be the one deceiving...
@@JulianaGockos Thanks, she had traits of a few things, maybe she was just a jealous ass and resentful, not sure yet, lol, but it would help to have the right description if I get a therapist. Combined with my dad it's no wonder I feel paralysed.
Histrionic clothing? Lol
Only a formal evaluation would be enough for a proper diagnosis of course, but perhaps she exhibits traits of more than 1 "cluster B?" Sorry you had to be brought up with this, but you are definitely not alone! At least you have a sense of humor about it!
@@user-jc8py7dw7r did you watch the interview?
Love ya! You are Awesome! So much wonderful information!
I don't know who needs to hear this. But a lot of people need to hear this
This explained it so well!
Dr. Ramani, that is a very good explanations, I hope you can discusses more about the types of the Cluster.
I loved this video just as I love them all, but I have to chuckle a bit as well at the unintentionally-funny "fancy man shoes". It made me laugh when he said, "Fancy man shoes? I need to get me some of those!" lol I appreciate a video where those discussing serious topics can still be light and funny and jovial about it.
I met 3 people like this in grad school, they always acted like they were rich and were always sucking up to people and they irritate myself and my friend. They harassed us and other students who didn't want to give them any attention. To this day I am close to my friend since we both suffered a similar trauma that I had to go to the therapist for a year. I had to constantly build myself esteem from the ground up by going to therapy, reading self-help books, listening to calming music, and working-out. All of these activities helped me build my confidence and still do it to this day.
“It’s a lot of mental health to take in every week…” ???
Mental HEALTH?
💐💝 I LOVE your discussions!💕
So healing.
“For ten grand, I’ll do that for you too”! Dr. Ramani is hilarious!! 🤣😂
Thank you so much! I’m histrionic :) I laughed and it made me question my motivations.
You look amazing Dr. Rahmani!!! Love your channel!!!!!
Yikes, I hope people don’t judge me as a histrionic. I am 100% not one, because I don’t like attention. I’m a creative dresser. My style of clothing is eclectic and individual. (I also happen to work in the fashion industry.) I think it’s more important to assess people based on behavior, rather than appearances.
I think it’s wrong to assume that one who is into fashion and beauty is shallow and has a personality disorder. That’s an awful and jealous way to judge our fellow humans.
Dolly Parton was very much into fashion and had an eccentric and attention grabbing style but she’s not histrionic in the slightest.
I understand. I know many pple with histrionic pd who wear stuff for attention and others who r not hpd but who live color, are artistic, etc
Dr Ramani is just awesome
It feels like someone with HPD could run an MLM because it only requires ear candy and superficiality to gain investment
well structured video honestly..
These two have good working chemistry i love listening to them
She left one tidbit out - Histrionics can get VERY aggressive when they don't get what they want. This can further create confusion with Borderlines.
Borderlines can get aggressive also.
@@marlanaferro1558That was the commenter’s point!
I agree… it’s like a switch flips! There is a great deal of overlap that exists in these disorders…
When Kyle used that gym analogy- omg YES. (& if that gym he went to starts with an E and ends with an X, he's right 😓)
These videos with Dr. Ramani are so educational. But geeezz, I can almost fit in every disorders.🤔