SO, I watched this a year ago and told my therapist I have many traits like this and now I just got accepted into my full time program, thank you guys for helping, wow I am so grateful I came across this video.
To abbreviate the disorder as BPD (Borderline) can cause confusion with BPD (BI Polar). If these abbreviations find their way onto a chart the wrong treatment can be started, I've seen it happen.
No such thing as normal... This is just describing beings that have had something happen to them that has caused this and when we hide away from the root cause, can't handle or don't have the right support, then you get beings whom keep reliving the experiences that caused them trauma, through feeling they are still being treated this way and this is usually because they are highly sensitive to beings treating them lesser than they feel they should be. But because they are taught or told this is abnormal and then medicated ect, they then believe they are "unwell", when in fact they are just a regular human being whom hasn't dealt with whatever the mind/body has suppressed as to protect them from having to deal with what they wouldn't be able to handle at the time of the trauma happening and so with it being suppressed it Will eventually start to either come through in visions/flashbacks or different behaviours, even loss of memory, as to hide from it even more If they are not in an environment where they may feel safe enough to experience these emotions and flashbacks, as to let them be felt and understood then possibly released. Instead we have this world where they would much rather drug us and make us into easy to manage zombies. We are just a science experiment, as we always have been. But now we are also very valuable to those whom make a lot of money from keeping us drugged up and in need of therapies that these kind of beings (psychiatrists) use. We now know that we are highly sensitive to being lied to and can tell when we are being done wrong by in how we feel we should be treated. Is wanting better for yourself, to be treated better than what you have been treated previously, by being made to feel you're always in the wrong, really a bad thing? Is it wrong or natural to feel anger and frustration from always being told you talk too much from a very early age? or you're too soft? or to be normal and act like other children, by teachers and other adults alike? Or being told that the beings bullying you are only doing it because they are having troubles at home? Yet you are also having troubles at home, with arguing parents and being abused by someone close. also having a problem with incontinence which is diagnosed through a hospital at only 7 years of age and getting bullied for this because the head teacher decided it was a good idea to tell the whole of your year in an assembly, whilst calling you up so everyone could see whom they were talking about, then proceeding to try to make 7 to 8 year old minds understand how "Sarah has something where the bladder that holds the urine doesn't work properly and this makes her have accidents where she wets herself" ect, the bullies thought it was funnier and the name calling began. Also at around 3 to 4 in nursery they stood this girl on a table and started singing a song and saying thumbalina as to this girl sucking her thumb, when all she wanted to do was stay outside and play with the sand and water and be in nature, not in a class room being picked out because she used her thumb to sooth and calm her when she was either tired or in a place she didn't feel comfortable.... this is where it began and it never stopped... bullying all through school... Always in relationships where they always desired someone else. First true love always desired and longed for and ex of his whom he wanted but she wanted an open relationship where he wanted more and he always pointed out other womens features, like "woh! Look at the tits and ass on her" ect, also had a "cute girl at college called kat" and all whilst proceeding to point out your flaws. We tried telling our mother how we felt and she said it was normal for males to look around at other females, but why did it feel so wrong and hurt us so much? She stood up for him and so we got taught that we were yet again "over reacting" and to stop being so silly, along with putting others feelings above our own... Now that we are totally sober and not using any prescribed nor recreational drugs as to hide and be more easy to control or manipulate, we see and understand more of where our emotions/feeling/reactions come from. It comes from pure blind ignorance and we as beings not truly listening to one another due to not being able to handle our own personal fears/traumas and being stubborn in believing that we are unwel if we don't follow as society tells us to and fit into some kind of box/label. This girl was raised by beings whom were taught to shut up and keep going, not to validate their emotions/feelings with what may have caused them in the first place and this is where the damage carries on as they teach us the same, as they fear society and their own supressed trauma/s... It's all linked if we just take the time and courage to take a look into why we react rather than being drugged up and labelled unwel/unfit to live in society. Mental asylums are where we live but now it's out in the open, as we have accepted that the rich and the ones making money off of us are correct and the ones still being bullied and kicked around deserve it, even after all they have already been through.
I ultimately lost my daughter to BPD a year and a half ago…she was 24 when she took her life. She suffered for so long and she had been in and out of psychiatric hospital/ drug rehabilitation programs. I tried so hard to save her and yet I couldn’t. My world is so dark without her💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had a few friends do that and I had no idea they felt that way. My mother put herself on a suicide road with her alcoholism and her siblings helped her along with rejecting her out of the family and used what’s called mixed communication to make themselves look like they actually cared about her. When they were done with her then I was served up as the scapegoat, which I already was as a child. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ coming your way from me 😊
@@alimccreery755 Thank you💜💕 it means so much to feel outside support especially when I typically do not reach out to my circle anymore. It sucks when you just need to open up about your sadness but can’t because you realize your grief makes others uncomfortable. So I keep to talking to my daughter and God… it’s just nice hearing (reading) something back💜
The worst part is when you just KNOW your reaction is innappropriate but you still keep doing it without any control knowing you slowly make the other person feel horrible especially when they don't know about the disorder and then you spend a lot of time feeling guilty and thinking about how bad of a human you are :/
My mother is diagnosed BPD. She once left me a voicemail where she started cheerful, by the middle was sobbing, and by the end was screaming at me. It was a 2 minute voicemail.
I’m 64 as well and just recently realized that my mom has BPD. I spent most of my life trying to understand and help her not realizing that I was dealing with a mental disorder. She is 86 and as well as BPD she is now showing dementia snd is getting mean as well. Not sure how to help her now. ☹️
@@livondabeach2614 My mother is 61 with undiagnosed BPD as well as has had a brain injury leading to early onset dementia with major short term memory issues. Constant mood changes (happy, sad, angry to happy within one phone call), fears of abandonment (she's in assisted living, which mixed with Covid lock-downs is understandable), and physical limitations. Someone in a situation like this, the best unprofessional way I have found is to help them where they are willing to accept help. Whether that is basic needs like food and assisting with cleaning, or on goods days taking her out for coffee. There will be bad days, in my case there are more bad than good. But appreciate the good days as life is too short. And the people we love are still in there, just hidden by the vail of disease/disorders. I have tried discussing BPD with my mom but she wouldn't listen (she thinks it's just depression and won't accept further help), so I just appreciate the time I have left and help where I can. Good luck with your mom, even learning what they are experiencing shows just how much you love her ❤
@@thisismychannelleaveit thanks for the kind words and encouragement. It is hard for everyone involved but harder for those that don’t recognize this as a disorder. My father is constantly in verbal battles with her that nobody wins. So hard to accept that what should be the peaceful part of ours lives is filled with a different kind of challenge as we deal with aging parents. Good luck with your mom. Peace 🙏
My mother also has BPD and bipolar disorder so I deeply understand you. Sometimes, it's very scary. She used achohol to escape her issues which didn't help at all.
I think I might have borderline personality. Kinda scary. Or maybe I am so depressed I am trying to figure how and why. I don’t think I have bipolar two but the spectrum is so big. I am so confused. I Just want to be well.
VanessaSimon26 u don’t hv don’t say tht to urself u re normal and a human tht blood flows in ur veins so mood can switch this will make u not to b urself
@atipachaleka9712 Fear of abandonment derives from childhood trauma only. PTSD derives from traumatic experiences in general. While someone with PTSD can have issues with abandonment, not all people with PTSD have abandonment issues, unlike people with BPD
Agreed. The littlest thing will send me into a complete and utter spiral, I hate it. I've learned to control it about 40%, so I am proud of myself for that.
It's like having invisible burning body pain and no one can find out why. Its like the first time your healthy body stops moving as fast as our minds expect it to always work. Being prepared in my mind to accept, i have to heal, or prepare to need healing when i am stuck in cement. We are so perfect just the way we are. accept reality.
I take a lot of anti psychotics so my BPD symptoms are far less intense as they used to be but without them I think I would kill myself! My splitting though! Medication can’t fix! I’m in a situation at work where my Head Chef who I loved at first snapped at me once and I’m looking for another job because I now hate him! Until he says something nice to me and I love him again 😭😭😞
Your husband just described exactly how I feel about the woman I am head over heels for. Everyone thinks I am crazy for putting up with her but the heart wants what the heart wants.
@@vikramji1743 A friend once told me he realized what our problem with women was. He said normal women bored us so we like the crazy ones. I gave it some thought and admitted he was right. We really did like the crazy ones.
Just found out that i have BPD. At 29, now all my life makes sense. I've realized that since I found out I know exactly what and who triggers me, I was able to reduce the anger by distancing myself of certain people but as soon has they are with me and say smth that bothers me ( my mother criticizing me ) sends me into a crises of mood swings in minutes and feeling lots of anger. I only feel calm when im alone now. Lord, I'm starting therapy. Good luck, everyone ❤
Very happy for you ❤ I use to tell my Ex, often ….. that he deserved to be “Happy!” *He used to suffer with unexplained bouts of rage & depression. Long after we broke up; he told me …. That he started therapy. 😊 - I wish you all the Best. It takes Amazing strength, to do what you’re doing!
@crybaby Girlfriend - They feel guilty after they come out of their cycle, which can last a few days up to a few weeks. But the problem is it only lasts for a few days, maybe a week, then they are back to screwing you and other people over. That's not to say their legitimate remorse is not genuine, the problem is it does not last long enough to correct the things they've screwed up.
@crybaby Girlfriend We don’t. At least, I know that I don’t. It’s an awful feeling to just feel that rush of emotion you can’t stop and see how the words you hurt affect the other person. I think one reason we feel so guilty is because being overly sensitive can in some ways help you be more empathetic and also know where to twist the knife in someone’s heart when you are angry. @Jack Spade Individuals with borderline usually don’t have long mood swings. Everything happens so fast, usually within minutes. I feel guilty immediately afterwards for yelling, and start crying, then get angry at myself that my husband always has to comfort me when crying after I just yelled at him and hurt his feelings. It’s pretty quick turnaround from my experience.
I think pedophiles dont want to be killed in jail and get a life sentence too, but you dont feel too sad for them. I mean, I get what you mean and i dont defend them, just saying this argument you brought applies to them as well, doesn't it? its hard to feel any sympathy for them at all, rigght? but this same logic applies, so either its wrong or .. we're doing something wrong
We are scared and insecure. That creates manipulative bahaviour .. we are sad after that we appear that way cause we notice it's off and bad but we cant stop .
1) UA-cam: Angels Visited My Little Girl This Morning. 2) *I BROKE DOWN IN TEARS* THIS IS WHAT JESUS JUST SPOKE TO ME!! JESUS IS COMING 3) I saw Old Lady In Hell! 4) UA-cam: I'M NOT TAKING THE MARK OF THE BEAST, NOW WHAT? 5) UA-cam: Sarah Boyanga 6) UA-cam: Brother Carlos Oliveira ( He has a deliverance ministry)
I tell people that I joke about this when I say it, but deep down I hate myself for actually feeling that way. And I also love myself for being truthful about my thoughts and emotions. It's a fucking nightmare
1: Fear of abandonment 2: unstable interpersonal relationships 3: identity disturbance 4: impulsivity 5: suicidal behavior(s) 6: affective instability 7: feeling empty 8: inappropriate and intense shows of anger. Followed by Shame and remorse and fear of abandonment because of their behavior and lack of control. 9: paranoia, "out to get you" or disassociative identity disorder. ...I needed a list to go off of, for reference. (I have a memory as good as a fish..)
@@beepboopbeep4801 I feel ya man. It's hard. Sooo hard. But manageable with positive thoughts and affirmations. ...I deleted all the negative stuff and emo stuff that I "love" because... you know what? ...it brings me down. Yeah, I can RELATE. ... but at what cost? My own mental health? My sanity? I'm done! I'm so sick and tired of being...sick. and tired. I'm ready to live again. Goodbye Facebook, hello God, sunshine, and therapy, and acceptance, and health, and happiness!
I’m going through that I think. I feel so off my rocker, emotionally. Can’t tell if it’s cptsd or bpd. But I was screened and they said I don’t have bpd. I’m at a loss.
@@Cheybits in the first six months or so after I was discarded by a covert narcissist, I was like you feeling so unstable. But it was the cognitive dissonance, grief, being truly abandoned, having ones life turned upside down without warning. What I have come to realize over time (it's been two years now) is how fortunate I am for being out of that relationship. Oh he tried to hoover me back, and I was kind to him but said no I cannot ever trust you again. Keep watching Dr Ramani videos, she will help you to understand and be stronger every day.
I'm going through this now. I am NOT the same person I was 15 yrs. ago, he is. I've spent 15yrs trying to make him happy. He's happy with everyone else and hates me.
@@Cheybits when you are in a relationship with a narcissist you will develop issues such as BPD. So take what they told you with a grain of salt and give your self time to heal. Overtime you will probably find that you don't actually have BPD it's just the PTSD from being with the narcissist
She is dangerously arrogant in the way she presents a range of information about an exceptionally complex set of issues as though BPD is a defnite thing rather than what she mentions in passing so fleetingly if you blink you'll miss it: BPD is label which serves as a diagnostic tool. The other highly objectionable thing for me about this is the fact that she strongly implies that BPD is something you have for life. This is deeply toxic because it reinforces a prejudice which is evidenced to make the problems worse. She is sadly locked into an "us and them" power dynamic which frames people with BPD as essentially dependant on a system which needs people to be dependant in it to validate its own existence; psychiatry. I know she's psychlogist but her thinking and manner is outmoded, her awareness of the latest evidence is limited to say the least, and he overall attitude is just offensive. She is precisely the sort of mental health dinosaur that people who are extremely unwell will benefit more from the retirement of than fron her actual work. The very fact that she prompted you to leave the comment you have is a a major red flag to others on the field who know the subject well, because what you call assertiveness is actually arrogance, and arrogant mental health professionals are dangerous. I don't work with people directly as I'm a writer, researcher and educator, but I have a lot of professional "collegues" (parenthese because I'm self employed) who cover the full range from clincial psychologists and psychiatrists to pyschotherapists of every flavour, and just about every other type of mental health professional you could think of (and many you may never have heard of unless you are connected to the field profesionally and/or as a patient - please don't take that the wrong way; it is in no way meant as a desparaging remark; I'm simply empahsising that my world is chock full of people with a vast range of mental health expertise), and in my career I have come across people like this woman at conferences and heard them come out with some of the most prejudiced, ignorant, and downright offensive BS imaginable;' stuff which, if said about any other group than people with mental health problems would be considered hate speech. She is dangerous PRECISELY BECAUSE OF HER CONFIDENT, ASSERTIVENESS. True experts are far more cautious in how the discuss truly vulnerable people. She is arrogant. I'm an athiest but I'd actually pray I never get labelled with a PD and come under her "care". She's even wrong about really basic stuff like th DSM and ICD. It's truly scary that people like this get so much repsect.
You're spot on about me being angry, and about the impossibility of ever being truly objective about many things. I actually wrote an even longer rant as a direct comment on this vid, in which I think (or at least hope) that I qualified the fact that we're all subject to numerous self-serving biases and I am certainly no exception. The difference is that I'm not presenting myself as an expert in a youtube vid which many people are likely to take as an objective set of truths about BPD. This is the core of my issue: that the whole area of personality disorder is fraught with complexities, is a field of ongoing research which periodically provides breakthroughs, and that it is the confidence in their certainty of people like this which is dangerous, because people who know very little about the subject are likely to take her words as absolute truth. This is how the world of mental health expertise has been framed. In short, I'm simply highlighting the importance of being cautious about what we believe; of taking a beat to ponder on what's being presented as fact. I'm certainly not excempt from human fallibility, but this women acts as though what she is saying is certain fact when, in reality, much of is it is a bunch of oversimplifications.
I love your sensitivity toward her scientific approach, there's a good book called : About humanism in psychology by Bern Jager. His lifetime work * consisted of showing how the new 'scientific zeitgeist' was 'porteur' of the very roots of unbalanced and misplaced approach to psychology. By comparing art and science, exploring the mindset of various civilization, showing us to the very meaning of the importance of not eating the apple of the tree of knowledge. Human condition is not something that need to be only understand or categorize, it is something to be listen to, loved and honoured. Love is just too rare theses days. Any clinical therapist will tell you.. its the key factor in any human struggle
We lost our daughter to suicide. Her battle was so incredibly overwhelming everyday. It was her way of ultimately escaping her world of emotional chaos. She left behind two beautiful babies. This is a video I will share with them one day to explain the pain their Mom was in.
She's doing that because she's on camera and it gives the producers and editors a clean edit. It's the sign of someone that is trained to speak on-camera.
I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to live the way I am. At least now I know why and who I am. I have been doing therapy since I was in my 20’s. I am 72 now and I have 5 or 6 different diagnosis through the years. Last week my therapist tested me for Borderline and I answered yes to 9 out of 10 criteria. This video has been the best explaining the criteria and how hard it is to understand yourself and to be “normal”. I have drawn back from nearly all of my family and friends. I am learning about dialectical behavior therapy DBT. Thank you MEDCIRCLE for covering this Personality Disorder so thoroughly. I am a retired RN and realize how hard it is to get the correct diagnosis and treatment for Mental illness. Again, I thank each of you!
You might want to check out Quiet BPD, its the internalisation of the manifested angry emotions. This tends to exacerbate issues with self worth because you're constantly beating yourself up! On the journey too but keep with it, it gets better and more manageable
1. Fear of abandonment 2. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationship 3. Identity disturbance 4. Impulsivity 5. Suicidal behavior/thoughts 6. Affective instability 7. Chronically feeling empty 8. Inappropriate and intense shows of anger 9. Dissoziative Symptoms Your welcome! For a better understanding I recommend watching the video. :3
Wow when she said that you want to be alive but want to be dead because you can’t manage that pain… that’s exactly how I feel. Like this world, my kids, my husband would be better off without a crazy, unstable person like me. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder 2 years ago and feel it may have been a misdiagnosis. Everything this woman said explains me directly. Have a new assessment next Friday and hopefully we can figure out what’s going on with me.. praying for anyone still trying to figure out and cope with their mood disorder, whichever it may be 💗
I have bpd, I've been through the full DBT program. Using the skills, doing other therapy and taking my meds was all helpful. I've been in a healthy, loving relationship for almost 9 years, and I'm able to hold a job. There is hope!
I am diagnosed with both Bipolar and BPD. As she stated, it is very complex to treat (and will require long term). I completed DBT upon learning of my BPD diagnosis. But I’d like to learn from you: what meds were you prescribed to treat BPD? Lamictal? Sepámoste? Both?! I really appreciate your response.
Because it is not said as a frase. It's a whole behavior! If you're a professional or really engaged is pretty easy to see this pattern. Feels like it's always there.
Victoria Virginio So, “I think” what makes BPD so difficult to deal with/comprehend is that it is masked most of the time and then it manifests out-of-nowhere... So, I guess my experience of it is the opposite of what you are expressing... I will say that once it is identified, the fact that it can present itself at any time gives one the impression/anxiety that it will or can manifest at any moment...
This interview was ok. I’m both BPD & Bipolar. It’s a great time let me tell you. I have a slight drug habit, i used to go off on my partner, yelling & crying, mood is constantly changing. Uhhgg its a serious pain in the ass and of course therrs clinical depression w/it. I treat it though w/pharmaceuticals & DPT therapy
I think something not talked about a lot is that many people develop similar traits when in an abusive relationship with narcissists. Infidelity can cause you to feel some of these things also and lots of times its a combo of the two
Yes ,I feel a deep seated reason for me is abandonment by my biological father combined with an abusive mother ,bullying and lots of death and loss from an early age. I feel so damaged I could just go catatonic sometimes.
Oh my goodness! You hit 🎯💯 it on the nail ! I have always suffered with depression, anxiety, and the last few years I have realized I also now have PTSD. I just went through a breakup with my ex-boyfriend (whom I just realized is a narcissist) I was with him for 6 years, the last couple years, I have been having crazy outburst that seem to be getting worse and worse. I was just recently diagnosed with BPD. I truly believe, that his narcissistic personality has made my condition worse. I don't want to blame others for my illnesses, it's my responsibility to figure it out. I just feel like I needed to add to your comment. I 100% believe that that relationship has sent me into a spiral of insecurities and doubt.
I think one of the vicious cycles of BPD is that these bouts of intense rage make people want to avoid people with BPD, which, in turn, makes them feel more abandoned. But you get tired of walking on eggshells around them and being the target of their outbursts and paranoia. It's exhausting and stressful in and of itself.
Exactly. That’s why I had to cut my relative out of my life. I’m not a dumping ground for anybody’s rage and I got sick of hearing “you’re insensitive”. YES these people are mentally ill but the world is insensitive FFS. We all have choices about who we let into our lives.
@@thegrandpencil4374 that’s great. But my mother is 99 and there is nothing working with her it’s everyone else treating her badly. She says she has never done anything wrong in her life. It’s really sad.
It’s a disorder of perception as well. They perceive abandonment, social slights and other negative reactions from people when they aren’t there. Extremely important.
@@N0p3er5”these people” do not feel lorded over by comments like these. Trauma causes a variety of responses dependent on mentality and personality type, yes. But what makes trauma responses disordered are the inability to survive when dealing with them. BPD is a term to describe these developments in personalities seen in trauma survivors, and it’s very much real and needs addressing as to improve quality of life.
@@kaylam5579 It's a label, used by abusers, to abuse people with psych drugs and blame them for their trauma. That's the reality of it. If someone needs a label to make excuses or have a weird security blanket, so be it.
@Zamb1gulator plenty of individuals receive treatment and counselling without medication... no medicine in the UK is currently licensed to treat it and many individuals overcome their symptoms in therapy. As an adult it absolutely is your responsibility to account for the way you respond to your trauma, if there wasn't any personal accountability whether being directed towards help or being imprisoned for dangerous acts - no one would be protected and the world would be burning. The people hurting others could just 'blame their trauma. Grow up.
I was diagnosed with BPD 11 years ago. It’s been a struggle and I know that it’s been hard for those that love me. It’s really no joke. This woman really explained it well.
I'm so confused I don't know to keep my friends or leave them I already have a separation from my family hard to talk to them no one understands me n I'm tired of being left behind my life don't feel like it's life been wanting to die for years I battle with being nice n extremely mean I battle with trusting my closet people I don't know if I can have a relationship with anyone people turned me into this I used to be nice now everything seems intents no I don't feel like my old self I feel abandoned n to stop it from happening again I'm willing to stay alone no friends no girl friend no nothing but me I'm just scared to be a loner but my life headed there n I don't know how to stop it I guess if I can't stop them from abandoned me I'll abandoned them first
In some cases Borderline Personality Disorder is caused by environment growing up. Such as dealing with a narcissistic parent or parent who has their own mental / emotional issues. I know this from experience.
I think that just being supportive, sometimes you can't help doing anything, but listening to the person is a lot, even if it seems that he or she is still not okay. Not all people listens to persons with mental illnesses and it's a necessity we have. And well, if the person is not receiving professional help maybe you can help by looking for options and informing the person of the possibilities they have. It's a gpod start point, knowing the mental health or social services. One thing I did for a friends that wasn't under treatment was to talk kindly to her and offered some options. If the person is slightly interested sometimes you can tell him or her to go to one of the options, so they feel responsible (perhaps it doesn't end helping, if the person is receptive it helps that someone tells you like "okay, what if you go tomorrow morning and then you call me and we talk about how it went". A friend of mine helped me that way and thanks to her I'm doing therapy and it goes wther and then I helped my other friend doing the same and she is going to therapy aswell :)).
I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, BPD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
The interviewer doesn't actually believe this. He used a common questioning technique. It allows the educator to put the proper perspective "in the air" (reinforces and promotes good beliefs). In reality the majority are already in tune, the ignorant just have a louder voice. Vast majority of people are willing to help, understand and learn with compassion. Don't be tempted by victimization or pity. We can be part of the education process with dignity. Whining is not an efficient tool. Love ya!
What I really like about this woman is her easy going demeanor and her ability to explain such often confusing topics with such clarity and ease. Big Thumbs Up.
UA-cam: Angels Visited My Little Girl This Morning. UA-cam: *I BROKE DOWN IN TEARS* THIS IS WHAT JESUS JUST SPOKE TO ME!! JESUS IS COMING UA-cam: I saw Old Lady In Hell! UA-cam: I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THE MARK OF THE BEAST, NOW WHAT? UA-cam Sarah Boyanga UA-cam Brother Carlos Oliveira
So many issues that appear to be BPD seem like what someone who is on edge and traumatized by dealing with a narcissist would do after years of dealing with a narcissist. Your personality can be altered by living in fear of serious and severe threats, manipulation, constant ups and downs, and on edge and also dealing with the depression and realization of the severe unfairness and feeling totally trapped for so long. Eventually you can't help but become suicidal or reactive, or one and then the other.
This has been my experience. I’m autistic and have been suicidal for years, I self harm, and fear abandonment greatly. I also witnessed abuse as a child because my dad was a narc. Autistic women who have experienced abuse commonly develop BPD or borderline traits.. I’m wondering if I do have it.
This was my marriage, I married at 18 trying to escape my pain and he was an alcoholic narcissist who would get physical. I’m not sure if you went through it yourself but you gave me the words-to describe the pain of 7 years.
@@debrakarr996 exactly! Me! And living with an Avoidant. A sexless marriage, he constantly neglected me and deprived me. Also I am HSP. Highly sensitive person.
i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by a professional, and watching this video almost made me cry. it’s all so true. when she was talking about how these people (including myself) feel empty, it made me wonder if there are people that really do feel whole. it’s almost unbelievable to me. i always thought everyone felt empty in a way. it breaks my heart. but this woman was spot on, and i really did love this video as a whole.
I understand you completely! I'm just rewatching this video now, and I remember when I watched it the first time, I was determined to stay in control of how I'm feeling about what was being said, but then when she got to that bit about emptiness - specifically the hole at the bottom that everything just escapes through - I actually, literally burst out crying. That is so, SO real to me, and just like you, I can't wrap my mind around it what it would be like to feel whole, it's a completely alien and abstract concept to me. I suppose that's what self-discovery is about as well - learning that others are truly "other" and different than us, even when it feels totally incomprehensible. Just like realizing that most people don't feel like they're on an emotional rollercoaster at all times, and that they don't let each and every little thing get to them - I used to think everyone is affected by basically everything just to the same degree that i am, but that they are better at controlling themselves and hiding it. And then I realized that no, apparently people have it easier because they just don't care about every tiny detail, real or perceived! What a wonderful life that must be... Sorry for the wall of text. But I guess I'm in a mood :)
A personal question, did you have a narcissistic or drug/alcohol abusing parent?! For those of us who feel that chronic emptiness that might be the cause and leading us to have BDP
Same, I wish I could see a therapist who’s really good at what they do. (Not saying most of them aren’t! Just saying lol) I live in the middle of no where and there are like no therapists let alone good ones!! 🤷🏼♀️
I have such a fear of opening up to people because I've convinced myself if they actually knew me they'd never want me & that's what made starting therapy so hard for me but... One day at the time & we can survive this. I hope you get some peace & I wish she was my therapist as well... Very calming.
Lorraine H I've seen her before. She is smart, but she lacks humility. I would not trust a doctor without humility, especially in the field of mental disorders. There is so much that remains unknown.
@@rebekahreynolds4913 Maybe you didn't see a second video on the subject featuring her, in which she blamed the condition on heredity and a lousy upbringing-----with a distinct emphasis on the latter! She appears to place great emphasis on the character flaws of patients, which though an easy path to pursue, seems to me a trifle judgmental. She has lots of head knowledge, but i really wonder whether she has lived with an afflicted person throughout the development of the condition.
The problem is I need help, but my moods change so fast that one minute I'm open to getting help and the next minute I'm in a superiority complex and I can't. I don't think I'll ever get better? Lol
Get the help. If you think you don’t need help with something like this, then I think that is a telltale sign that you should seek a psych professional. Doesn’t make you crazy nor “un-normal”. It makes you saner and smarter than most who don’t. Wishing you all the luck in the world.
Oh my god me reading this just scared me because that’s exactly how I am. One moment I’m like yeah I want to go to therapy to get help and get better. The next moment I’m like noooo I’m good I’ll be fine Im strong don’t wanna look stupid spilling my guts to a stranger
1) fear of abandonment; 2) unstable and intense personal relationships; 3) identity disturbance; 4) impulsivity; 5) high rate of suicide attempts; 6) affective instability [moods all over the place; over-react to everything]; 7) reports feeling empty; 8) inappropriate and intense shows of anger [others 'walk on eggshells']; 9) transient stress experiencing paranoid symptoms.
Very interesting, however, with Borderline Personality Disorder, i believe that there could be many varying degrees of each of these distinct features, depending on the severity of the BPD, and for each individual that has it. I was told by a Psychiatrist years ago, that there were many varying degrees of a certain mental disorder, and that helped me, TO NOT ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORSE, AND that everyone who has this specific mental disorder, DOES NOT always HAVE a SEVERE CASE OF IT. THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS. I AM THINKING THAT WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, THAT THE SEVERITY OF THIS DISORDER, DEPENDS ON THE SEVERITY OF THE ABUSE AND ALL OF THE OTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTORS, THAT CAN CAUSE A PERSON TO GET BPD. I KNOW PEOPLE WILL EXEMPLIFY THE SAME SYMPTOMS, BUT PERHAPS SOME PEOPLE LESS THAN OTHERS, AND SOME PEOPLE MORE SEVERELY THAN OTHERS, THAT HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER. JUST A THOUGHT.... DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING OR HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT POSSIBLE VARYING DEGREES OF BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDERS?
@@trishah.3134 They did make a video about the 4 different types of BPD, which does make a big difference. And yes, there are varying degrees, however the syptoms remain the same. You don't need to be cutting yourself or attempting suicide for example to have BPD, BUT it is very likely that people with BPD atleast have suicidal thoughts. You also don't need to be having a lot of sex with strangers or have spending issues, but you do most likely need 1 type or impulsive behaviour which could also be binge on food instead. All mental issues have degrees of them, nobody said otherwise, but this video is just trying to explain the basics I think.
This lady explains everything so well and makes it easier to understand. I have memories of being panicked a lot as a child because I would never know which mood my mom would be in when she would pick me up from school. Unfortunately, many years ago I didn’t have any success with getting my BPD mother into therapy. We had gone to therapy and she didn’t like what the therapist was saying and she got up and left. She never returned to there so I have no hope that she will ever change. I cut contact with her 4 years ago which was very difficult, but her actions were poisonous to my life and have even permanently affected some of my relationships with people I love. Anytime I I would visit her my anxiety level would skyrocket or even just thinking about her would cause me to almost go into a panic attack.
17.11.20. From UK. This is total nonsense and it in no way represents the truth. Heres some of the sworn gathered evidence that has caused us to experience death threats from the establ. Not spell checked.We were told not to resove the publics MH issues cos the work was costing the system jobs and threatening the charities and Universities. We now experience poverty. Meanwhile 3 miles from here ten people have been given loads money 'For Watching Movies' When you add the other distractions you have an image of both the 3rd Reich and the Roman Empire tactics.. Te formula never fails. If you add a bit of aspproved religion then you have the public enslaved. We ought to know, we bore the brunt of the violence aimed at stopping us exposing what we found. We spent many yrs involved with the media and we know what they think like. 20 yr Heres some of the 1000pp evidence crrptn in UK which has been obstructed by f-bk. Twitter. Yahoo. entire Press. The only media allowing this to be revealed is Google. Suppot them.Mental Health System Corruption. A minor addition to this sorry story is we had a leaflet thro the door which said if you are a victim contact Winchester Police HQ as they had been 'HIGHLY TRANIED by the HOME OFFICE. We have 12-15 yrs evidence of being threatened in courts, councils. political orgs and medical services so we tried to outline the history. To our shock/horror after ten seconds. the character said THIS IS HIGH LEVEL INFORMATIUON SO IM PUTTING THE PHONE DOWN. To be honest we expected it as we had 12-15 yrs of their behaviour. This all started when we were sent mental health clients who were described as impossible. Their med record was a roll about five inches across. They were full of drugs and not only that had been badly treated by people who at this time we wont mention. They had recd over 20 yrs of drugging but still had orig symptoms and cause. They neede 7 hours of techniques that work and we had to teach them how to deliberately revert if there were social services about otherwise they would be persuaded to go back to the abnormal state. Other clients had recd up to eight yrs private as well as NHS incompetence and if we had not got to them that nite they would now be dead. One of them a dancer from Covent Garden had been off work for a year and had a GP b/f. We had her back at work within two weeks after having done one 6 hour session . We then got police attacks. Previously the CHC has told us - "Nental Health Is Clean Floors And Startegic Toilet Rolls And No One Is allowed To know Anything About It So Dont Bother Writing To The Dept Health Because They wont respond". All of these people were featured in huge photos in the local press but when we tried to tell the press what was the We are very wary of the publics vision of people. The local press in this area also owned the press in our former area. We noticed that the newspaper each week was publ huge phtos of councillors and others and painting a picture of mass heroism. We knew by then that most of the articles were lies and we caught up wiith one particuar hero at the Coucil inspired CHC meeting. The CHCs were hoodwinking the public on Mental Health issues so it baffled us how this particular woman was being hailed as perfect. We manager to start asking her questions and to our alarm she blurted out- " Dont Bother About Helping The Public. I Used To Do That And Look At Me Now Im A there so thats when we found that the Educ System were doing cover ups re Mental Health. That continues to today. Another example of the being perfect hysteria was to do with the local Mental Hosp whose staff and clients were coming to us for remedial work. The Psych Mngr when we complained about this stated "comstate of the clients coming to us we got no response. We then found that friends ours who were teachers were involved in the press and in fact theor children were journalists petence has no value in mental health" and put the phone down. We then got onto the staff at the Hosp, thet said -- "we dont blab but she has caused deaths here and its been hushed up by the local police. council. courts. coroner" Then there was the usual stabbing. We knew the victim, a psych nurse ( we call them establ drug mill shepherds which is same as Social Services). and we also knew how clueless and dangerous she was but lo and behold the local press said she was a saint and better. The core issues incl- Appeasement. Suppression. Journalism. Art. Sport. Drama. Education. So far every HM prefix org looked at is corrupt. That means no Govt. So far 26 Universities corrupt and the students are backing it same as in 1933. Its a mirror image of that era. You never ever learn do you and you dont mind paying either. Why do you think the virus appeared..We are now experiencing more Police biolence . They say they are representing the HM Religion. Our very first clients told us this-'Dont Try To Expose This Situation Cos The Royals Are Behind It And You Will End Up Dead' Every prediction was accurate incl that of the virus. The indictment ? Establ Manslaughter.30.000 deaths over 35 yrs.
As someone with BPD, having a gym routine allows me to function pretty well. I can stay focused and aware of my emotional state and control my behavior. Developing a gym routine helps with self discipline in this way. It teaches focus, dedication, commitment, it helps develop self respect and respect for others, and it helps develop the mental skills for gaining self control.
I agree a gym routine is good, I’m 39 and been working out consistently since 22 and I have BPD, but I don’t get the “it teaches you respect for others” part. If anything I just get super high off of it, it does keep you in the present sometimes, marijuana is far better for self awareness and being mindful in my opinion. Working out is just good all around but again, I don’t think it teaches that much. We’re all different though
Thank you!! My 23yr old son has just been "diagnosed" as having BPD, and I am searching for ways to help him. I wondered if setting up our gym and getting him to use it daily would help, and then I read your comment. Do you mind if I ask you if you have used therapy to help. And if so, what kind/style? We are on a fixed income, so cost is a bit of a barrier, but I just want to help him. 🥴
This so important! I always remind my hubby to keep his routine and things in his day he enjoys but drives him because it really Helps his overall mood
I’ve heard this from a lot of people that are like me, but what do you do when one of my friends they call them alters hates and I mean hates the gym any kind of work out. Hell she even stops me from having s** because it can be strenuous and Physical, and sweaty. So what do I do??? I don’t want to be here, I pray for my time but they want to be here. My life is so frustrating!
Wow. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 15. I have never heard it explained so well. She literally hit every part of what I feel. BPD is not fun. It is a daily struggle. I hate that I'm like this and am trying so hard to change it. My heart goes out to anyone here struggling with BPD because it really is so freaking hard. I'm so glad that I am not alone in my struggle. It makes me feel less crazy.
The biggest obstacle is accepting it. I accepted it 5 years ago and it was like an immediate switch being flicked in my brain. It wasn't a cure but it made dealing with it so much easier. I'm not 100% there but I've come a long way on my journey. One of the issues with BPD not brought up in this video is that BPD sufferers are drawn to each othe like moths to a flame. It's the intensity of relationships and immediate accepance that both people so desperately crave but the instability will ultimately doom the relationship. As someone who is self aware of it, I have been with partners who have it yet they hide behind depression/anxiety as they don't want to be labeled as having a 'bad personality' and to be honest, I don't blame them. The literal name for it is a large barrier for the sufferer to accept and get appropiate treatment. I'm with a partner now and she has BPD and she is forthcoming with it. It's hard but also very rewarding. That intensity is lovely if directed properly.
You are seen. I struggled a lot with DBT in the beginning, even wanted to quit two days into therapy. But now, 4 years later, I’m truly grateful that I stayed and worked hard. I still struggle from time to time, but DBT gave me the tools to handle my intense emotions better. I believe in you, you will be able to fight for yourself like I do. ❤
I HATE to admit that I have a personality disorder. It kills me to do so. Here are my symptoms: I have a sense of emptiness that shows up around happy, normal people. I don't know who I am unless I'm helping or rescuing someone. I am a chameleon depending on who I'm talking to. I exaggerate and lie. I fixate on one person at a time. I job-hop. I've had well over 100 jobs. I 'date down' so that I cannot be rejected. I am extremely jealous and it makes me paranoid. I am extremely competitive and if I think I won't win then I won't try. I lie. A lot. I literally run away from attractive men. I feel repulsed when someone likes me. I've had three unplanned pregnancies by different men. All alcoholics. Abuse and horror does not scare me, kindness does.
I think that is my partner. I am the favourite person. He keeps ditching me for women who treat him terribly and have a lot of issues. I think that he gets too insecure that even though I am mentally ill, I am more stable than he is. When he splits he makes like I am the crazy one and he can do better. In everyday life, I can function and generally I have to do everything for him. Even when I was working, I took care of him, I took care of the housework, I spoiled him. He keeps thinking about exes who were mean to him and only wanted to use him. I feel completely destroyed by how he splits and devalues me. He associates with terrible people. Child molesters, drug addicts, and prostitutes, and they turn him against me. I think it's like what you are saying that the stability terrifies him
My ex would describer her like this, with the exception of the pregnant part. She was stunning I'm quite normal. She chased me, I tried to stay friends, she really wanted more. Then she got me, I fell in love and she realized she wasn't ready for the commitment that came with our relationship. Because she "dated down" she now became afraid to hurt me and cheat on me. She internalized her fear of hurting me so much she stopped talking to me, which ultimatedly ended up in me breaking up with her. She tried to be friends, but still couldn't talk, so we ended something beautiful two weeks after we had the best weekend of our relationship. "She just couldn't". I've yet to find someone with BPD who could endure a healthy long term relationship. The worst case I've met had relationships with guys until they became suicidal. All her exes became suicidal...
Trait 1 06:56 Fear of abandonment Trait 2 07:51 Unstable and really intense interpersonal relationships Trait 3 08:35 Identity disturbance Trait 4 09:56 Impulsivity Trait 5 11:33 Suicidal behavior or thoughts Trait 6 14:11 Affective instability (moods are all over the place) Trait 7 16:20 Feeling empty Trait 8 17:33 Inappropriate and intense shows of anger Trait 9 20:54 Transitive stress-induced paranoid ideation, other psychotic symptomatology or dissociative symptoms (paranoid, psychotic, and dissociative symptoms) 24:08 "You need five out of the nine to be diagnosed with BPD." Typically traits 1, 2, and 6, plus a couple more. 24:45 Advice when you know someone with BPD 25:25 "The best way to start is not to approach a person who has BPD on the "you're all over the place" or "you're acting crazy" or something like that, but rather maybe focus on one of the other co-morbid symptoms."
1. fear of abandonment - preparing for abandonment, leads to actual abandonment 2. unstable, intense, interpersonal relationships - can be family, intimate, work, friendships 3. identity disturbance - who am i? change of appearances, sense of different personas 4. impulsivity - binging on pleasures 5. suicide attempts - “if you leave me, i’ll commit suicide”, cry for help 6. affected instability - moods shifts in a short period of time, hyper reactivity 7. feeling of emptiness - wants to fill their emptiness 8. intense shows of anger - blows up, quick 9. under stress, may experience paranoia - disillusionment, dissociate identity disorder
@@izuhna Im sorry if I offended you ….. but this is MY opinion on MY experience . People like this do real damage on a soul level and it’s not ok …. Look at the world we live in and the mental illnesses that cause the masses PAIN is that okay ? There’s no exception
I’m starting to realize after 27 years how my mother may very well be borderline. It’s conflicting and confusing in a sense, since she was objectively a good parent and mostly present. She used to fight a lot with our family and I would be the mediator. It wasn’t until I was about 10 years old that her rage started to emerge at the slightest thing. When I said or did anything she would explode. I started to be scared of her. Her doctors told her she has panic disorder, but I’m really starting to think with how she acts terrified of me abandoning her and is resentful of my independence that she acts out at me and claims I never do anything for her. Her moods sometimes shift dramatically, almost disturbingly. I would cringe and be so confused and terrified how she would go from screaming to acting normal and bubbly to other people. She goes from crying to laughing in the span of minutes. Sometimes she is remorseful and embarrassed of her rage, especially when she throws things or breaks something. Other times she will justify her anger for how I “don’t do anything for her” and used to hold all she’s done for me over my head, how she raised me and she gave her life to me. Her relationships with men in particular have been unstable at best and toxic and codependent. She is a bottomless pit where nothing is ever enough, no matter what I do for her. She doesn’t apologize until she finally breaks me down emotionally and mentally. Im realizing how manipulated I feel, how she is terrified of me abandoning her , and resents my independence as an adult with my own life and she even jokes she wished she raised me to be more needy.
You just described my mom. I feel so drained, and has came to the conclusion that she is never going to change the script for me, is incapable of feeling happy about small things, chronically discontent and anxious at the same time and selectively forgetful about all the good things I did her. Finally, I've emotionally distanced myself and breathing some fresh air of freedom
Do we have the same mother? You've just described mine! The only thing I would add in all seriousness is that what you've described is NPD from my own experience.
My therapist told me at 20 I am “the textbook definition of borderline” 😭 2 years later and almost all my symptoms are managed with combination of therapy, dbt skills, meds, anger management. Recovery is possible
@@michelessiambre2021 most of my meds failed, the only one that really helped ~my~ bpd was Haldol, it’s an antipsychotic. When I was on meds it was just to help curb my depression for the time being so we could focus on dbt and other therapy techniques. I’ve heard from other that meds help TONS and other who say the meds only made it worse. I find Effexor worked well with managing my co-occurring depression. (home grown bud has helped the most)
There was quite a long period when people with BPD were considered “untreatable” bc their huge issues with abandonment and the need to embellish and dramatize made it extremely hard for them to drop the game playing, the exaggeration and drama, in order to benefit from traditional therapy. But then some psychologists began using a technique called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with these people, and they saw results bc the treatment is ‘in the moment,’ it doesn’t involve looking at family behaviors or constellations or histories. _CBT has been proven to be as successful as psychotropic medications for a large range of disordered thinking and behavior, including BPD, PTSD, suicidal ideation, alcohol and other drug issues, and eating disorders!_ This makes me really glad, as a psychologist, bc everybody needs to be able to feel hope. But the joke about how many psychologists it takes to change a lightbulb is totally appropriate for _all people,_ not just those with significant psychological or psychiatric issues....it only takes ONE psychologist, but the bulb really has to WANT to change! So if you have BPD, there is hope in finding equilibrium, and in being able to sustain relationships, and the amount of hope is in direct relation to the person’s commitment to treatment! If this is your issue, please find a CBT therapist and see what therapy does for you....you have NOTHING to lose!!
Diagnosed 1 year ago, what a relief! I am not crazy, well, I kinda am. But now I know why I've been all my life outside looking in. Never fitted anywhere
"diagnosis is a tool to drive treatment, not to label" I love that she says that because to be honest, that's all that matters, not being able to label yourself as something but being able to properly treat it and live a functional life. took me years to understand this.
True but at the same time there is often SO MUCH RELIEF to finally have a name for what has been incredibly life disrupting & thus, know there is help & that one is not alone. You are not your label..it doesn’t define you but it sure helps knowing.
Been on the receiving end of that more times than I bothered to count. Acquired a tad more cptsd from those experiences. Wishing those of you that live with that all the best, seems like you need it.
@@iamtheltlone69 just remember it isnt your fault and theres always room to improve and work on yourself, even though you cant control it, you can always choose the way you deal with it. dont think of their opinions about it. You know yourself and that's all that matters
This completely describes my sister-in-law. She was 45 minites late and she was mortified that we ordered food without her. She felt completely rejected.
4:08 emotional instability. 4:45 mood disorder (bi-polar) the difference. 5:40 why bi-polar vs. borderline are confused. 6:35 you can have both. 7:00 Fear of Abandonment (9 traits) real or perceived (self-fulfilling prophecy) 7:55 Unstable and Intense relationships. passion, anger, tears, rollercoaster feel. 8:40 Identity Disturbance "I don't know who I am" Appearance changed / tattoos, piercings, hair etc. 10:00 Dangerous, risky, problematic behavior. Impulsive sexual behavior. Mood sooth via shopping etc. 11:38 Suicidal Behavior, thoughts, attempts. Pills, cutting, general self-harm. Unmanageable inner pain. 14:14 Moods Everywhere "Affective Instability" Emotions mean action, moods constantly showing. Difficulty regulating moods. Misunderstood with bi-polar. Over-reactive / Hyper-reactive. 16:20 Chronic empty feeling. "Fill the Void" Shopping, spending, over eating, people, sex. Panic Inducing. 17:44 Inappropriate and intense expressions of anger. Loud, quick, intense. Must "walk on eggshells" around BPD. Super "thin skin" hyper-sensitive and react with anger. 19:30 Regret post anger. Abandonment due to anger. Embarrassment, humiliation, anger. Emotional loops. Could all happen within an hour over small unpredictable aspects. Not much friends and family can do. 21:09 Paranoia "other people are out to get me" Other people are talking about me. Behaving like a child. Appears like separate personalities. "You only need to have 5 out of the 9" Different styles require different treatment. Get the individual into therapy. Life long (multiple times a week) therapy. 25:30 + Approach!
Hmmm, it seems she has drunken too much coffee. A bit hyper and seems also anger coming through. She is giving an uncomfortable interview and I find her un-pleasant. Talking too fast, 👎
Iv had a diagnosis of bpd for a couple of years, and Iv always thought because I could shut people out of my life and act like they never existed I couldn’t possibly have a fear of abandonment (because I was the one doing the abandoning) but the way this lady explained it 🤯🤔
There is also quiet BPD in which someone does not act out their mood swings in front of others but to themselves. It’s also called high functioning BPD.
I was thinking this whole time, "Thin skinned and emotionally sensitive? Oh I rage hourly, _interntally_ . I impulsively eat and binge watch TV, _moderately_ . I went nuts over that girl last time so much so that I had to just _cut myself off quietly_ , fearing I was smothering her. I was very codependent with my ex. And my ex before her. I've never know what I want in life and my identity is very fluid, _but I stuck it out and finished my degree!_ " etc. Like ticking the box for all of these things they talked about, but not to the extreme.
I have BPD and when someone leaves or I think they’re going to leave…it literally feels like a piece of my physical heart detached from itself. It physically pains me and I wish it didn’t happen.
@@haydenspence6952 yeah kinda. But it’s also not. Like I could cry for a week over the (thought) of a friend leaving me. Because they got a new job..or got a new partner. And they may never know about it..but it exhausts me mentally and physically.
@@aprilcarter3712 ....but if you listen to the video , bpd is characterised by a rapid change of mood in a day or even in an hour..... so crying for a week isnt a classic bpd trait. if you are just feeling fearful and sad then its probably not bpd ... its probably something else . bpd is characterised with angry outbursts
It's not just expressing emotions strongly, it's feeling the emotions strongly to the point of being overwhelmed. The intensity of expression doesn't always match the situation. There is a complete lack of awareness and control in the moment.
OMG I have felt like I was so screwed up for years. Losing control of my emotions, then feeling horrible for letting anyone even see that side of me. Feeling like I don’t wanna live but I don’t wanna die. I’ve had failed relationships and felt so unlovable and horrible self esteem. I’m literally crying my eyes out just listening to her describe the traits of BPD.
I'm determined not to let bpd rule me, this video helps and learning to breathe will stop the fight or flight. I' m so glad I know this now, I never knew I was so .. and in the wrong, I get it. Knowing the problems helps me focus on solutions.
Agree, I believe someday there will be a cure for all mental disorders as they are just patterns of perception and awareness opens up a whole new world. Profit driven motives don’t help health/mental health. People with strong emotions can use their emotions to create a new internal reality and therefore also a better external reality as well. Strong emotions can be a burden but they can also be the very thing that turns it all around. Feel your way through there fear/non beneficial pattens with 💜!
yes! i am that way, i feel things so intensely, and since my fear of abandonment is so strong, i don’t like to act out on my emotions always. i’m always afraid of my emotions and acts pushing people away and it’s suffocating sometimes
i think it would be cool for yall to go over "quiet" borderlines. yes, a lot of us have explicit fights in relationships but there is also a good chunk of us who turn it inwards instead of outwards. for example, if i were to fight against my mom (or even disagree on a trivial topic), she would blow up (think she also has bpd lmao). i learned to bottle all of that up instead of showing my emotions or frustration. now, if im in an uncomfortable situation, i take it out on myself thru a combo of self harm, self deprecation, isolation, etc. we dont have as much representation which kinda sucks
i feel you this happens so much with me ive just been taught to stay quiet, so i dont scream or cry in front of people, but i instead just take it out on myself, which a really really harmful way of dealing with this
But you recognize it, you just need some counseling. You already know it's not you. Why harm good ole you? You can't always fix broken people, so just move on, take care of you.
Yes. However, I feel he could be a bit smoother and believable in his empathic moments. Sometimes his interruptions--which are totally normal for the host to conduct in an interview--are a bit jarring. So he is learning more here than you or I, hopefully.
He’s a judgy prick. He needs to keep those facial expressions and snide comments to himself. They really need to get someone else to host this very much needed information.
Watching this. I actually cried. I always feel like nobody understands me. But here they're basically talking about me! It's like they KNOW me. BPD suffers just want to be loved and accepted.
My father committed suicide in 2019. I find myself seeking out these videos because I want to understand what he was going though better. He was abusive and unpredictable and really scary throughout my childhood, but he also had sides I miss dearly. He treated me like an extension of himself, not a rea person, was so reactive and angry and scared the shit out of me, so many difficult effects to this day. He treated my mom like a dog and then begged for her back again and again. I chose homelessness as a teenager rather than live with him and then he bribed me back to live with him when my mom left. Begged for her back again, then cheated on her and killed himself when she left him. Refused therapy and was dishonest with all people attempting to help him, none of us knew what to do. We all just wanted off the roller coaster ride so bad. I miss him terribly. It makes me so sad that he was so full of chaos. It makes me angry that he drove my brother to heroin addiction, and abandoned all of us. I love him and I hate him. I miss him. I am relieved he is gone. His chaos remains
Someone, many years ago, made a statement to the effect "It doesn't end when they go in the ground!" Processing takes a long time...be patient with yourself. Clean house...i.e. friends and family who do not add positive points to your life.
At one point it was almost like he was bored listening to her and I got so irked. Then he chimed in about the dogs 🤣 but I love how she quickly brought him back to the topic.
I cried watching this. I feel like this woman can tell me more about myself than I could. I feel like she reads us like an open book and it’s scary. But it helps because I find comfort in knowing that I’m not dealing with this alone and I am not crazy.
I didn't want to think I had this kind of emotional instability. What was once hidden from Family and/or Friends has been for years out in the open . was once
Being BPD is torturous. I feel like I should have never been born, that I’m a mistake and an aberration. Most of the time I feel this, but then other times I see myself as a unicorn - unique and something unlike everyone else. My feelings get hurt so easily from things that are just completely inconsequential. And I feel horrible the rest of the day from the most insignificant of things. My emotions are way too extreme, my negative ones the most. I get angry over very small things (not super often) but when I do it’s explosive. I actually have to start hitting myself in the head cause it’s like I need to expel the energy, I get so pent up it’s like I’m going to explode. And when I get angry I end up crying, cause I am so overwhelmed. I get labelled as having tantrums and being a baby, but I don’t think people understand at all what it is to have these emotions. They are so intense it’s like a rush of drugs.
You have just described me in perfect detail. It is EXTREMELY painful. My emotions are often so intense, i feel like my heart is going to explode right out of my chest. What is worse is seeing many of these traits in my daughter as well. I feel so badly for her.... having this pain is so debilitating, i worry that she will live a very painful life, and doomed to be completly misunderstood, just like me.
Keep seeing urself as a beautiful being, we are all have that behavior where we think it is not normal but if u will try to look openly that none of us were perfect and none of us were exempted with whatever imperfection therein as a human, i used to hate myself before out of things i thought i am different with others but through constant facing the struggles and hardships i met along the way that it came a tool for me to understand and open my eyes that we all have issues within ourselves and it just happened with a more different approach on how it came to our lives, best wishes to you 🌷
“I feel like we are all like that” I’m sure not everyone has a full blown panic attack when you wave at someone in the hall and they don’t wave back at you jack
My ex husband (whom I am dating again 14 yrs later) and child are borderline. I am so glad to hear that they can go from severe anger to laughing in minutes. It is so challenging, more so as my ex hurts himself during these anger bursts and it is frightening! I feel validated here, thank you
this video made me sob. ive been searching for years for what the hell is wrong with me and now i think i need to go to therapy again. thank you for helping me know something that is true about myself and the way i feel.
''And diagnosis really is a tool to drive treatment. that is its function. not to label someone'' All I could say is wow. Now that's a real doctor. amazing!!! everything was so clear and informative. loved the interview so much!
Exactly. A lot of people asked why i wanted to label myself. And i say its to see what disorder i have to properly treat it. Disorders are not treated or coped the same way
I've had it explained by multiple doctors and psychiatrists. They all made quite a big deal out of 'black/white thinking', then touched on impulsivity, self harm/suicide and abandonment issues. She just outlined 9 traits with such clarity and understanding of what they are like, and even listed them in order of how the cycle often goes. I'm very reassured that I have not been misdiagnosed. :)
@@theroslynheightsnibbler805 Yes, that's so frustrating. A few minutes chat and they send you off with a prescription as if it's going to be some magic cure. I started to feel like a lab-rat!
I was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago, and honestly have to say it changed my life. Before I had no idea why my feelings were always so strong and why I had such a hard time controlling them. After I was diagnosed and learned why, I was able to read up on it and learn why I feel so different from everybody else. Today I am much more in control of my emotions. I might still snap and say hurtful things from time to time, but I haven't had an episode that turned violent or suicidal in years. It also got a lot easier for people around me when they learned I had a diagnosis. Now I remind myself every day that my feelings are just much stronger than other people, and I ask myself to please remember that my friends aren't abandoning me just because they're not answering my texts. And just saying that to myself and reminding myself has done wonders for my progress. I could even see myself in a relationship one day. Which was impossible before.
A good one though...as there are many with the “title” who can actually make things worse 😩 I think empowering children and parents early on, on mindfulness, questioning thoughts (we aren’t our thoughts, and all thoughts aren’t true), questioning narratives we apply to others intentions, taking things less personally, learning emotional intelligence.... much of this behavior is ingrained early on. Core wounds of “not good enough”, “I’ll be rejected”...and more, are very powerful. Once those are addressed and people are empowered to change their thinking, that’s huge. Definitely getting help and support early is good.
Yeah but personality disorders really shouldn't be diagnosed before people are adults because their prefrontal cortex isnt developed yet. But it would be good for like anxiety and depression and stuff.
I actually thought he deliberately asked that because that's the type of ignorant thing many people would say. But meh, I don't like him either actually.
Why? I approve of him making sure that people don’t misdiagnose themselves. Everyone can get a little attached or obsessed at the start of a relationship
Hi, im 24 now. Diagnosed at 16. After almost 10 years of regular treatment today I feel very different from what I used to be like. You can do it too guys. I still feel all that, but I learned to control it all and get a grip of myself, sometimes things get out of hand but that happens to everyone.
That’s really amazing. Although, if you have the time to answer, I’d like a little help. I’ve been feeling this way for a very long time but I am not sure how I should tell my doctor about it. I have an appointment as a yearly check up coming up soon and I want to mention it, I’m just not sure how. Any suggestions?
@@voxentino well you dont have to tell your doctor if you dont want- not directly, you can perhaps talk about the symptons. It is thw most common personality disorder, he must realize youre talking about borderline
Alejandro, so, i talked to her about it never actually mentioning that i think it is bpd, but i told her my symptoms, and she said “it’s probably just adolescence” and “all teens feel this way” when i’m certain it’s not that way. i’m going to start seeing a therapist eventually though to see if i can actually be diagnosed. wish me luck ^^
Thanks for a nice summary. As a middle aged man, just recently diagnosed, I am still discovering things about my condition, trying to create logic and happiness in the wake of the mess this condition caused me through out my life.
I also feel like a lot of people were never taught good coping mechanisms, don't have good support systems, don't get taught appropriate ways to manage their emotions or ever feel loved and a culmination of those things can be really detrimental to the development of a person. People are capable of learning but it takes a very long time. When in an ideal environment, children learn these healthy skills over their entire lifetime. You can never get the time back that you missed with these developmental moments, but you can build new ones and create a lifestyle of that learning.
Paul: agree, but I feel slightly injured, insulted by her jolly, jesting narrative. I suppose it is not meant for the Borderliners to hear. Have only heard 5 mins, maybe hear the rest. I believe less and less in psych diagnoses with the years. HAve you heard the YT vid where many psychiatrists are asked Q's like" Does psychiatry/you know how diagnoses work/are+ Do you know how the drugs you prescribe actually work? Have you cured any patients? Is psychiatrics and diagnostics, mediaction scientific, do you know what you are doing? .They ALL answer no! Check out Nutritional Balancing PRogram, free lecture about f ex emotional issues from biochemical imbalance, nutrient imbalance, toxic metals. not saying it is all rubbish, but that the picture is larger. Take care of yourself, + remember, nothing is fixed forever or incurable.So much depends on our own will, fate and life style/life habits. Bad habits will make anyone ill sooner or later. I have been looking for a healing friend for mutual support and the joy, recognition., comfort and soothing fellowship. I thought my openness in wanting examination would help me get correct therapy. I never got that, have searched, done and helped myself as well as I could for many years. What about you?
Merlijn Pieron Indeed, and honestly Claudia Bothner’s reaction is very atypical of someone with the condition, other professionals have stated that in UA-cam videos and do not recommend showing diagnostic videos to them (remember how sensitive they are and quick to lash out, often to those that are trying to help them); it’s always someone else’s fault - a common trait in personality disorders - and therapy becomes an important way for BDP to stop doing that by gaining a stronger definition of self (as their reaction comes from borrowing/leaning on others so heavily).
It is a runaround business. Where hopefully you'll spend quite a bit of money with them. To talk about what it is is easy. To confirm why and where it comes from and how to correct or "cure" it is difficult and starts to spurn a lot of charlatans.
I agree with you. Started with talk therapy to understand my “Lostness” then nutritional which is Really what ails most in All areas. And finally, spiritual education and acceptance. The Bible holds Many secrets to stable fullfilled living in an evil world ruled by Satan. Jesus is where u can go after the DSMMD ends! Peace and love bros and sis
She is not jolly or jesting at. People with personality disorders like yours can be paranoid and negative a lot. Se is simply emphatic and passionate about her knowledge. She seems compassionate. Get some perspective.
Me too. I'm bawling. I've been told bi-polar but I knew it wasn't right and my Mom has been saying borderline personality disorder and I finally looked it up and this is me to a T. I don't want to be me. Like I don't want to die(I think of taking my life constantly to stop the pain, the fear, the emptiness etc..)but I don't want to live like this. I just don't even know what to do anymore. I'm going to loose everyone in my life because of this stupid disorder I didn't ask to have. I would give anything not to have this, all I want is to be normal.
With someone who was diagnosed BPD as of 2 years ago It sucks It truly sucks It’s black and white Good and evil Light and dark 0-1000 Life or death My husband is a trooper for marrying me and being part of this journey Everything you’re talking about is spot on 😢 The worst part you should’ve addressed is when the anger is gone it’s like it never happened But spot on
It’s like it never happened for the person with bpd. The rest of us are going around with band aids for our wounds and brooms and trash bags for the debris, plus our own traumas from being on the receiving end of unpredictable attacks.
@@colinbillington9584 this year has been great No episodes or anything major He wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s proud of me and been a huge supporter and fighter for me.
@@colinbillington9584 this year has been great No episodes or anything major He wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s proud of me and been a huge supporter and fighter for me.
@@ilspeth99 yeah, I know how that is. It’s like walking on eggshells. It sucks. And the family, spouse, friends who have to deal with it get in their own head about how to even approach someone with BPD. But there is a light
Hearing that a person can have both borderline and bipolar disorder put my mental health in perspective. I thought I was hard to treat. God bless anybody who has to live with the two concurrently.
I have BPD and Bi-polar type 2. I've been in therapy for years and have worked very hard on myself. I still struggle but I have developed tools to regulate my moods.
My mom started reading “stop walking on eggshells” because she decided I am borderline when I had trauma response after medical procedure and couldn’t handle being yelled and screamed at and having my feelings dismissed while I’m struggling to eat, sleep, breath, and live. She needs therapy.
You don't. That is the issue. Therapy at an early age is going to backfire when they need it in maturity. Don't send them and deal with the severe spikes early on. They need to hit rock bottom and want therapy, or it doesn't work for decades.
Watch our full video series on working through the highs & lows of BPD (featuring Dr. Ramani) HERE: bit.ly/2Cg6uHT
SO,
I watched this a year ago and told my therapist I have many traits like this and now I just got accepted into my full time program, thank you guys for helping, wow I am so grateful I came across this video.
To abbreviate the disorder as BPD (Borderline) can cause confusion with BPD (BI Polar). If these abbreviations find their way onto a chart the wrong treatment can be started, I've seen it happen.
Please get someone else to host. This interviewer is not just rude as he cuts her off unnecessarily and comes across as judgy with his reactions.
This interviewer is not good for this job. Please read the comments if u can’t see why 😔
Never Google your symptoms. Never UA-cam your symptoms. NONSENSE! Why would you encourage self diagnosis???
I'm relieved to find out that I only exhibit 13 of the 9 traits.
lol same
Thank goodness.😉
Lol feels! BPD life fucking sucks. I’m just glad that I’m more emotionally stable now than I was at 13!
Finally got help a year ago. At first they left it as a mood disorder along with MDD and then official disorder of PBD along with MDD.
Same, same!
just starting to realise that it isn't normal to feel intensely sad, stressed, relaxed and happy all within half an hour
So what is "normal"?
Me neither. I thought everyone experienced that
Dam I do that
Gabe Waite, but the media spends billions making you feel thoes emotions in a single minute of advertising not to mention the movies?
No such thing as normal... This is just describing beings that have had something happen to them that has caused this and when we hide away from the root cause, can't handle or don't have the right support, then you get beings whom keep reliving the experiences that caused them trauma, through feeling they are still being treated this way and this is usually because they are highly sensitive to beings treating them lesser than they feel they should be. But because they are taught or told this is abnormal and then medicated ect, they then believe they are "unwell", when in fact they are just a regular human being whom hasn't dealt with whatever the mind/body has suppressed as to protect them from having to deal with what they wouldn't be able to handle at the time of the trauma happening and so with it being suppressed it Will eventually start to either come through in visions/flashbacks or different behaviours, even loss of memory, as to hide from it even more If they are not in an environment where they may feel safe enough to experience these emotions and flashbacks, as to let them be felt and understood then possibly released. Instead we have this world where they would much rather drug us and make us into easy to manage zombies. We are just a science experiment, as we always have been. But now we are also very valuable to those whom make a lot of money from keeping us drugged up and in need of therapies that these kind of beings (psychiatrists) use. We now know that we are highly sensitive to being lied to and can tell when we are being done wrong by in how we feel we should be treated. Is wanting better for yourself, to be treated better than what you have been treated previously, by being made to feel you're always in the wrong, really a bad thing? Is it wrong or natural to feel anger and frustration from always being told you talk too much from a very early age? or you're too soft? or to be normal and act like other children, by teachers and other adults alike? Or being told that the beings bullying you are only doing it because they are having troubles at home? Yet you are also having troubles at home, with arguing parents and being abused by someone close. also having a problem with incontinence which is diagnosed through a hospital at only 7 years of age and getting bullied for this because the head teacher decided it was a good idea to tell the whole of your year in an assembly, whilst calling you up so everyone could see whom they were talking about, then proceeding to try to make 7 to 8 year old minds understand how "Sarah has something where the bladder that holds the urine doesn't work properly and this makes her have accidents where she wets herself" ect, the bullies thought it was funnier and the name calling began. Also at around 3 to 4 in nursery they stood this girl on a table and started singing a song and saying thumbalina as to this girl sucking her thumb, when all she wanted to do was stay outside and play with the sand and water and be in nature, not in a class room being picked out because she used her thumb to sooth and calm her when she was either tired or in a place she didn't feel comfortable.... this is where it began and it never stopped... bullying all through school... Always in relationships where they always desired someone else. First true love always desired and longed for and ex of his whom he wanted but she wanted an open relationship where he wanted more and he always pointed out other womens features, like "woh! Look at the tits and ass on her" ect, also had a "cute girl at college called kat" and all whilst proceeding to point out your flaws. We tried telling our mother how we felt and she said it was normal for males to look around at other females, but why did it feel so wrong and hurt us so much? She stood up for him and so we got taught that we were yet again "over reacting" and to stop being so silly, along with putting others feelings above our own... Now that we are totally sober and not using any prescribed nor recreational drugs as to hide and be more easy to control or manipulate, we see and understand more of where our emotions/feeling/reactions come from. It comes from pure blind ignorance and we as beings not truly listening to one another due to not being able to handle our own personal fears/traumas and being stubborn in believing that we are unwel if we don't follow as society tells us to and fit into some kind of box/label. This girl was raised by beings whom were taught to shut up and keep going, not to validate their emotions/feelings with what may have caused them in the first place and this is where the damage carries on as they teach us the same, as they fear society and their own supressed trauma/s... It's all linked if we just take the time and courage to take a look into why we react rather than being drugged up and labelled unwel/unfit to live in society. Mental asylums are where we live but now it's out in the open, as we have accepted that the rich and the ones making money off of us are correct and the ones still being bullied and kicked around deserve it, even after all they have already been through.
“They want to be alive but at the same time they want to be dead because they cannot deal with the pain” wow. Just wow. That hit hard.
🥃💊💨
Right
This is me
Mood
Felt this hit me hard too… I suffer from bipolar 2 but can relate to this also
I ultimately lost my daughter to BPD a year and a half ago…she was 24 when she took her life. She suffered for so long and she had been in and out of psychiatric hospital/ drug rehabilitation programs. I tried so hard to save her and yet I couldn’t. My world is so dark without her💔
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve had a few friends do that and I had no idea they felt that way. My mother put herself on a suicide road with her alcoholism and her siblings helped her along with rejecting her out of the family and used what’s called mixed communication to make themselves look like they actually cared about her. When they were done with her then I was served up as the scapegoat, which I already was as a child. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ coming your way from me 😊
So sorry for your loss 🙏🏽Kelly .. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers
@@jai7184 Thank you so much 💜💜💜 I truly appreciate that 💜
@@alimccreery755 Thank you💜💕 it means so much to feel outside support especially when I typically do not reach out to my circle anymore. It sucks when you just need to open up about your sadness but can’t because you realize your grief makes others uncomfortable. So I keep to talking to my daughter and God… it’s just nice hearing (reading) something back💜
@@kellycarroll651 I’m listening and hear you. Hugs 🤗 and love ❤️ coming your way 🥰
The worst part is when you just KNOW your reaction is innappropriate but you still keep doing it without any control knowing you slowly make the other person feel horrible especially when they don't know about the disorder and then you spend a lot of time feeling guilty and thinking about how bad of a human you are :/
I know 🥺😞
Eugh I know :///
Get some meds. It really helps
@@verameertens839 mine's not that serious so no meds for me yet i do understand the feelings
I'm thinking my husband has it. He behaves in certain ways, not every one of the traits and symptoms match though. Do they have to/?
My mother is diagnosed BPD. She once left me a voicemail where she started cheerful, by the middle was sobbing, and by the end was screaming at me. It was a 2 minute voicemail.
My mother was BPD. I relate to that kind of voicemail. Thankfully, she passed away not being made at anyone. I always lived with worrying about that.
I’m 64 as well and just recently realized that my mom has BPD. I spent most of my life trying to understand and help her not realizing that I was dealing with a mental disorder. She is 86 and as well as BPD she is now showing dementia snd is getting mean as well. Not sure how to help her now. ☹️
@@livondabeach2614 My mother is 61 with undiagnosed BPD as well as has had a brain injury leading to early onset dementia with major short term memory issues. Constant mood changes (happy, sad, angry to happy within one phone call), fears of abandonment (she's in assisted living, which mixed with Covid lock-downs is understandable), and physical limitations.
Someone in a situation like this, the best unprofessional way I have found is to help them where they are willing to accept help. Whether that is basic needs like food and assisting with cleaning, or on goods days taking her out for coffee. There will be bad days, in my case there are more bad than good. But appreciate the good days as life is too short. And the people we love are still in there, just hidden by the vail of disease/disorders.
I have tried discussing BPD with my mom but she wouldn't listen (she thinks it's just depression and won't accept further help), so I just appreciate the time I have left and help where I can. Good luck with your mom, even learning what they are experiencing shows just how much you love her ❤
@@thisismychannelleaveit thanks for the kind words and encouragement. It is hard for everyone involved but harder for those that don’t recognize this as a disorder. My father is constantly in verbal battles with her that nobody wins. So hard to accept that what should be the peaceful part of ours lives is filled with a different kind of challenge as we deal with aging parents. Good luck with your mom. Peace 🙏
My mother also has BPD and bipolar disorder so I deeply understand you. Sometimes, it's very scary. She used achohol to escape her issues which didn't help at all.
"They want to be alive, at the same time they want to be dead-- because they can't manage that pain."
Sarah W facts
Nailed it!!
I think I might have borderline personality. Kinda scary. Or maybe I am so depressed I am trying to figure how and why. I don’t think I have bipolar two but the spectrum is so big. I am so confused. I Just want to be well.
VanessaSimon26 u don’t hv don’t say tht to urself u re normal and a human tht blood flows in ur veins so mood can switch this will make u not to b urself
@@VanessaSimon26 we have to learn to love ourselves I think most bpd were neglected
I think it’s important to talk about the correlation of BPD and childhood PTSD and trauma.
Amen!!!!
Really!! It makes it so much worse
People with PTSD also have fear of abandonment
@atipachaleka9712 Fear of abandonment derives from childhood trauma only. PTSD derives from traumatic experiences in general. While someone with PTSD can have issues with abandonment, not all people with PTSD have abandonment issues, unlike people with BPD
Yes!
as someone with bpd, it’s extremely painful and annoying feeling like you’re going to die when an inconvenience happens
Or when things happen in rapid succession..throws me off a lot.
Agreed. The littlest thing will send me into a complete and utter spiral, I hate it. I've learned to control it about 40%, so I am proud of myself for that.
FOR REAL
It's like having invisible burning body pain and no one can find out why. Its like the first time your healthy body stops moving as fast as our minds expect it to always work.
Being prepared in my mind to accept, i have to heal, or prepare to need healing when i am stuck in cement.
We are so perfect just the way we are. accept reality.
I take a lot of anti psychotics so my BPD symptoms are far less intense as they used to be but without them I think I would kill myself! My splitting though! Medication can’t fix!
I’m in a situation at work where my Head Chef who I loved at first snapped at me once and I’m looking for another job because I now hate him! Until he says something nice to me and I love him again 😭😭😞
That rug really tied the room together.
Marvin Davenport 🤣
lol
😂😂😂😂 that actually made me laugh out loud
I didn't notice until I read that 😂🤣😉
😆😂🤣😂😆🤣😂😂🤣😆🤣😂😆😆😆🤣
My husband once said of me "You're like a beautiful garden with landmines."
I've never laughed so hard reading a comment and related so much! You're husband sounds awesome!
Wow, that's such a gorgeous comment ...
Your husband just described exactly how I feel about the woman I am head over heels for. Everyone thinks I am crazy for putting up with her but the heart wants what the heart wants.
@@vikramji1743 A friend once told me he realized what our problem with women was. He said normal women bored us so we like the crazy ones. I gave it some thought and admitted he was right. We really did like the crazy ones.
My (now ex) husband always says "at least she's not boring!".
Just found out that i have BPD. At 29, now all my life makes sense. I've realized that since I found out I know exactly what and who triggers me, I was able to reduce the anger by distancing myself of certain people but as soon has they are with me and say smth that bothers me ( my mother criticizing me ) sends me into a crises of mood swings in minutes and feeling lots of anger. I only feel calm when im alone now. Lord, I'm starting therapy. Good luck, everyone ❤
good luck. you realize you have the problem. that's more than most
Thank youu 😊 life is good we just have to heal and focus on ourselves and who really matters.
Good luck for youu too! 😊
Very happy for you ❤
I use to tell my Ex, often ….. that he deserved to be “Happy!”
*He used to suffer with unexplained bouts of rage & depression.
Long after we broke up; he told me …. That he started therapy. 😊
- I wish you all the Best. It takes Amazing strength, to do what you’re doing!
I have a music video about this on my page ! Check me out ❤
Im the same as you. Found out when i was 29. Got in touch with a psychiatrist and have been in ssri’s for about 3 months now, it helps a lot.
I noticed in BPD that the sufferers always feel guilty. They may come off as manipulative but I don’t think they want to be that way.
@crybaby Girlfriend -
They feel guilty after they come out of their cycle, which can last a few days up to a few weeks. But the problem is it only lasts for a few days, maybe a week, then they are back to screwing you and other people over.
That's not to say their legitimate remorse is not genuine, the problem is it does not last long enough to correct the things they've screwed up.
@crybaby Girlfriend We don’t. At least, I know that I don’t. It’s an awful feeling to just feel that rush of emotion you can’t stop and see how the words you hurt affect the other person. I think one reason we feel so guilty is because being overly sensitive can in some ways help you be more empathetic and also know where to twist the knife in someone’s heart when you are angry.
@Jack Spade Individuals with borderline usually don’t have long mood swings. Everything happens so fast, usually within minutes. I feel guilty immediately afterwards for yelling, and start crying, then get angry at myself that my husband always has to comfort me when crying after I just yelled at him and hurt his feelings. It’s pretty quick turnaround from my experience.
I think pedophiles dont want to be killed in jail and get a life sentence too, but you dont feel too sad for them. I mean, I get what you mean and i dont defend them, just saying this argument you brought applies to them as well, doesn't it? its hard to feel any sympathy for them at all, rigght? but this same logic applies, so either its wrong or .. we're doing something wrong
We are scared and insecure. That creates manipulative bahaviour .. we are sad after that we appear that way cause we notice it's off and bad but we cant stop .
At the heart of it; they are victims themselves.
(Badly damaged as little children, and having to "go along for the ride")
"People with BPD don't want to be dead but they also don't want to be alive." Wow, that's me exactly.
1) UA-cam: Angels Visited My Little Girl This Morning.
2) *I BROKE DOWN IN TEARS* THIS IS WHAT JESUS JUST SPOKE TO ME!! JESUS IS COMING
3) I saw Old Lady In Hell!
4) UA-cam: I'M NOT TAKING THE MARK OF THE BEAST, NOW WHAT?
5) UA-cam: Sarah Boyanga
6) UA-cam: Brother Carlos Oliveira
( He has a deliverance ministry)
Yeah, that one really hit home for me too.
I tell people that I joke about this when I say it, but deep down I hate myself for actually feeling that way. And I also love myself for being truthful about my thoughts and emotions. It's a fucking nightmare
💯💯💯
Tough isn’t it!!!
1: Fear of abandonment
2: unstable interpersonal relationships
3: identity disturbance
4: impulsivity
5: suicidal behavior(s)
6: affective instability
7: feeling empty
8: inappropriate and intense shows of anger. Followed by Shame and remorse and fear of abandonment because of their behavior and lack of control.
9: paranoia, "out to get you" or disassociative identity disorder.
...I needed a list to go off of, for reference. (I have a memory as good as a fish..)
Lol ugh I'm def borderline
@@beepboopbeep4801 I feel ya man.
It's hard. Sooo hard. But manageable with positive thoughts and affirmations. ...I deleted all the negative stuff and emo stuff that I "love" because... you know what? ...it brings me down.
Yeah, I can RELATE. ... but at what cost? My own mental health? My sanity? I'm done! I'm so sick and tired of being...sick. and tired.
I'm ready to live again. Goodbye Facebook, hello God, sunshine, and therapy, and acceptance, and health, and happiness!
You go girl! I’ve noticed through the years I’ve gotten better because of behavior modifications … in other words … fight it
@@angierae403 With Heavenly Father, all things are possible. I trust Heavenly Father has a plan for me.
11:42 p.m .
I thought I was BPD until I realized I was with a covert narcissist.
Once that relationship ended and I healed, I was fine. It's not me
Me too! As I healed from that relationship those symptoms went away!
I’m going through that I think. I feel so off my rocker, emotionally. Can’t tell if it’s cptsd or bpd. But I was screened and they said I don’t have bpd. I’m at a loss.
@@Cheybits in the first six months or so after I was discarded by a covert narcissist, I was like you feeling so unstable. But it was the cognitive dissonance, grief, being truly abandoned, having ones life turned upside down without warning.
What I have come to realize over time (it's been two years now) is how fortunate I am for being out of that relationship. Oh he tried to hoover me back, and I was kind to him but said no I cannot ever trust you again.
Keep watching Dr Ramani videos, she will help you to understand and be stronger every day.
I'm going through this now. I am NOT the same person I was 15 yrs. ago, he is. I've spent 15yrs trying to make him happy. He's happy with everyone else and hates me.
@@Cheybits when you are in a relationship with a narcissist you will develop issues such as BPD.
So take what they told you with a grain of salt and give your self time to heal.
Overtime you will probably find that you don't actually have BPD it's just the PTSD from being with the narcissist
Her intelligence and assertiveness is great. She clearly knows her field well ,she is a true professional.
She is dangerously arrogant in the way she presents a range of information about an exceptionally complex set of issues as though BPD is a defnite thing rather than what she mentions in passing so fleetingly if you blink you'll miss it: BPD is label which serves as a diagnostic tool. The other highly objectionable thing for me about this is the fact that she strongly implies that BPD is something you have for life. This is deeply toxic because it reinforces a prejudice which is evidenced to make the problems worse. She is sadly locked into an "us and them" power dynamic which frames people with BPD as essentially dependant on a system which needs people to be dependant in it to validate its own existence; psychiatry. I know she's psychlogist but her thinking and manner is outmoded, her awareness of the latest evidence is limited to say the least, and he overall attitude is just offensive. She is precisely the sort of mental health dinosaur that people who are extremely unwell will benefit more from the retirement of than fron her actual work. The very fact that she prompted you to leave the comment you have is a a major red flag to others on the field who know the subject well, because what you call assertiveness is actually arrogance, and arrogant mental health professionals are dangerous. I don't work with people directly as I'm a writer, researcher and educator, but I have a lot of professional "collegues" (parenthese because I'm self employed) who cover the full range from clincial psychologists and psychiatrists to pyschotherapists of every flavour, and just about every other type of mental health professional you could think of (and many you may never have heard of unless you are connected to the field profesionally and/or as a patient - please don't take that the wrong way; it is in no way meant as a desparaging remark; I'm simply empahsising that my world is chock full of people with a vast range of mental health expertise), and in my career I have come across people like this woman at conferences and heard them come out with some of the most prejudiced, ignorant, and downright offensive BS imaginable;' stuff which, if said about any other group than people with mental health problems would be considered hate speech. She is dangerous PRECISELY BECAUSE OF HER CONFIDENT, ASSERTIVENESS. True experts are far more cautious in how the discuss truly vulnerable people. She is arrogant. I'm an athiest but I'd actually pray I never get labelled with a PD and come under her "care". She's even wrong about really basic stuff like th DSM and ICD. It's truly scary that people like this get so much repsect.
Crissy samuels amen. And she also seems pleasant and down to earth and not pretentious in demeanor
You're spot on about me being angry, and about the impossibility of ever being truly objective about many things. I actually wrote an even longer rant as a direct comment on this vid, in which I think (or at least hope) that I qualified the fact that we're all subject to numerous self-serving biases and I am certainly no exception.
The difference is that I'm not presenting myself as an expert in a youtube vid which many people are likely to take as an objective set of truths about BPD. This is the core of my issue: that the whole area of personality disorder is fraught with complexities, is a field of ongoing research which periodically provides breakthroughs, and that it is the confidence in their certainty of people like this which is dangerous, because people who know very little about the subject are likely to take her words as absolute truth. This is how the world of mental health expertise has been framed.
In short, I'm simply highlighting the importance of being cautious about what we believe; of taking a beat to ponder on what's being presented as fact. I'm certainly not excempt from human fallibility, but this women acts as though what she is saying is certain fact when, in reality, much of is it is a bunch of oversimplifications.
I love your sensitivity toward her scientific approach, there's a good book called : About humanism in psychology by Bern Jager. His lifetime work * consisted of showing how the new 'scientific zeitgeist' was 'porteur' of the very roots of unbalanced and misplaced approach to psychology. By comparing art and science, exploring the mindset of various civilization, showing us to the very meaning of the importance of not eating the apple of the tree of knowledge. Human condition is not something that need to be only understand or categorize, it is something to be listen to, loved and honoured. Love is just too rare theses days. Any clinical therapist will tell you.. its the key factor in any human struggle
So Much More Of A Little Bit I know this is a loaded statement but I wonder if we would perceive her as arrogant if she were a man.
We lost our daughter to suicide. Her battle was so incredibly overwhelming everyday. It was her way of ultimately escaping her world of emotional chaos. She left behind two beautiful babies. This is a video I will share with them one day to explain the pain their Mom was in.
I am so sorry for your tragic loss 💔
I’m so sorry. Wishing you and your family the best ❤️
I am so very sorry for your loss 💔💔 ❤
So sorry 😢🙏🏻
🥺💜
God, she is so well spoken. Whenever she misspoke she restated the whole sentence not just the phrase. What an impressive person.
She's doing that because she's on camera and it gives the producers and editors a clean edit. It's the sign of someone that is trained to speak on-camera.
Her voice is annoying but she is smart maybe because she's indian like my ex husband lol they are insightful and many are very clever
She is stigmatizing this disorder and it is wrong for her to do so. As a medical practitioner she is not being bias whatsoever
@@emilykathleenn i don't find her voice annoying at all. I love listening to it.
And she’s not boring to listen to
I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to live the way I am. At least now I know why and who I am. I have been doing therapy since I was in my 20’s. I am 72 now and I have 5 or 6 different diagnosis through the years. Last week my therapist tested me for Borderline and I answered yes to 9 out of 10 criteria.
This video has been the best explaining the criteria and how hard it is to understand yourself and to be “normal”. I have drawn back from nearly all of my family and friends. I am learning about dialectical behavior therapy DBT. Thank you MEDCIRCLE for covering this Personality Disorder so thoroughly. I am a retired RN and realize how hard it is to get the correct diagnosis and treatment for Mental illness. Again, I thank each of you!
any borderlines who internalise their anger and end up just sitting with it and taking it out on yourself?
yep.
Here, and it's exhausting.
You might want to check out Quiet BPD, its the internalisation of the manifested angry emotions. This tends to exacerbate issues with self worth because you're constantly beating yourself up! On the journey too but keep with it, it gets better and more manageable
Yess
I think theyall take it out on others
Yup spot on: “you wanna die, but at the same time you wanna live”.
I felt this way to much
I don't want to kill myself, but if I could push a button that makes me never exist I would so quickly.
No I just want to die
For me that's the first 45 minutes of my day
I dont want to die just long enough to see if any1 gave a fuck
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable and intense interpersonal relationship
3. Identity disturbance
4. Impulsivity
5. Suicidal behavior/thoughts
6. Affective instability
7. Chronically feeling empty
8. Inappropriate and intense shows of anger
9. Dissoziative Symptoms
Your welcome! For a better understanding I recommend watching the video. :3
^hero👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I don’t have a couple but most of them I do this was eye-opening
Thank you!!!!
I have everything but I don't want to get all these nonsense prescription drugs.
I smoke weed and take occasionally drugs but whatever makes no sense
MillennialPodcast The treatment of choice is Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) as mentioned 25:55 of the video.
Wow when she said that you want to be alive but want to be dead because you can’t manage that pain… that’s exactly how I feel. Like this world, my kids, my husband would be better off without a crazy, unstable person like me. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder 2 years ago and feel it may have been a misdiagnosis. Everything this woman said explains me directly. Have a new assessment next Friday and hopefully we can figure out what’s going on with me.. praying for anyone still trying to figure out and cope with their mood disorder, whichever it may be 💗
How’d it go? Any changes in diagnosis?
I have bpd, I've been through the full DBT program. Using the skills, doing other therapy and taking my meds was all helpful. I've been in a healthy, loving relationship for almost 9 years, and I'm able to hold a job. There is hope!
Thank you for this 💯
How long did the "full DVT program" take you?
You are amazing and should be so proud of yourself. Well done
Thank you. What kind of meds, if you don't mind me asking. Full DVT program?
I am diagnosed with both Bipolar and BPD. As she stated, it is very complex to treat (and will require long term). I completed DBT upon learning of my BPD diagnosis. But I’d like to learn from you: what meds were you prescribed to treat BPD? Lamictal? Sepámoste? Both?! I really appreciate your response.
24:04 *"Diagnosis really is a tool to drive treatment, not to label someone."* Wow. People need to know and remember this.
Really. thank you.
CheesecakeLasagna yeah after looking into what’s wrong with me and realizing that this seems to be it, I can finally try to start getting better
Well said!
Oh, I thought it is a trend to have a label. Mostly during reading social media comments. 🤔
Ppl with bpd need to hear this
The best cliche about BPD I have ever heard is; “I hate you! Don’t leave me.” It resonates as truth.
Because it is not said as a frase. It's a whole behavior! If you're a professional or really engaged is pretty easy to see this pattern. Feels like it's always there.
Victoria Virginio So, “I think” what makes BPD so difficult to deal with/comprehend is that it is masked most of the time and then it manifests out-of-nowhere... So, I guess my experience of it is the opposite of what you are expressing... I will say that once it is identified, the fact that it can present itself at any time gives one the impression/anxiety that it will or can manifest at any moment...
There a book title with that saying... and discribes this disorder. Very good my ex has this disorder!!
This interview was ok. I’m both BPD & Bipolar. It’s a great time let me tell you. I have a slight drug habit, i used to go off on my partner, yelling & crying, mood is constantly changing. Uhhgg its a serious pain in the ass and of course therrs clinical depression w/it. I treat it though w/pharmaceuticals & DPT therapy
Tony Simmons literally creeps up on you
I think something not talked about a lot is that many people develop similar traits when in an abusive relationship with narcissists. Infidelity can cause you to feel some of these things also and lots of times its a combo of the two
Yes ,I feel a deep seated reason for me is abandonment by my biological father combined with an abusive mother ,bullying and lots of death and loss from an early age. I feel so damaged I could just go catatonic sometimes.
THIS !!!!!
Also, neglected as a child.
Oh my goodness! You hit 🎯💯 it on the nail ! I have always suffered with depression, anxiety, and the last few years I have realized I also now have PTSD. I just went through a breakup with my ex-boyfriend (whom I just realized is a narcissist) I was with him for 6 years, the last couple years, I have been having crazy outburst that seem to be getting worse and worse. I was just recently diagnosed with BPD. I truly believe, that his narcissistic personality has made my condition worse. I don't want to blame others for my illnesses, it's my responsibility to figure it out. I just feel like I needed to add to your comment. I 100% believe that that relationship has sent me into a spiral of insecurities and doubt.
Agree!
I dated a bpd narcissist. It was a nightmare
Dr. Ramani needs her own UA-cam Channel..
Robyn MARKOW Yes! Why is this not a thing yet!
Because she writes books, she is an author. You know how people put their information and creativity into the world before UA-cam.
She does have one
You're so right! ( Hey, lots of us would save a LOT of $$ in lieu of paying for the time with a therapist/Psychologist! ) 👌💕
She does
I think one of the vicious cycles of BPD is that these bouts of intense rage make people want to avoid people with BPD, which, in turn, makes them feel more abandoned. But you get tired of walking on eggshells around them and being the target of their outbursts and paranoia. It's exhausting and stressful in and of itself.
Yes it is. I’m worn out from dealing with my 99 year old mother this has been going on my whole 73 years.
Bless you 💛
Exactly. That’s why I had to cut my relative out of my life. I’m not a dumping ground for anybody’s rage and I got sick of hearing “you’re insensitive”. YES these people are mentally ill but the world is insensitive FFS. We all have choices about who we let into our lives.
The good news is its actually manageable if the person goes through the proper therapy.
@@thegrandpencil4374 that’s great. But my mother is 99 and there is nothing working with her it’s everyone else treating her badly. She says she has never done anything wrong in her life. It’s really sad.
It’s a disorder of perception as well. They perceive abandonment, social slights and other negative reactions from people when they aren’t there. Extremely important.
That's a normal reaction to suffering abuse, and these people don't deserve you lording over them feeling great about yourselves. BPD is not real.
@@N0p3er5”these people” do not feel lorded over by comments like these. Trauma causes a variety of responses dependent on mentality and personality type, yes. But what makes trauma responses disordered are the inability to survive when dealing with them. BPD is a term to describe these developments in personalities seen in trauma survivors, and it’s very much real and needs addressing as to improve quality of life.
@@kaylam5579 It's a label, used by abusers, to abuse people with psych drugs and blame them for their trauma. That's the reality of it. If someone needs a label to make excuses or have a weird security blanket, so be it.
That's right,how we perceive,child abuse victims come to mind,PTSD type stuff.
@Zamb1gulator plenty of individuals receive treatment and counselling without medication... no medicine in the UK is currently licensed to treat it and many individuals overcome their symptoms in therapy. As an adult it absolutely is your responsibility to account for the way you respond to your trauma, if there wasn't any personal accountability whether being directed towards help or being imprisoned for dangerous acts - no one would be protected and the world would be burning. The people hurting others could just 'blame their trauma. Grow up.
I was diagnosed with BPD 11 years ago. It’s been a struggle and I know that it’s been hard for those that love me. It’s really no joke. This woman really explained it well.
1. Fear of abandonment
2. Unstable and really intense relationship.
3. Identity disturbance
4. Impulsive
5. Suicidal behavior or attempts
6. Affective instability
7. Chronically feels empty
8. Inappropriate and intense anger
9. Under stress may experience paranoid systems....
Thank you for summary.
I have them all I'm scared I have a lot of feelings n I don't know what to do I have almost cried
@@hdrcs0099 cry anyways. The sun will still come out tomorrow.
I'm so confused I don't know to keep my friends or leave them I already have a separation from my family hard to talk to them no one understands me n I'm tired of being left behind my life don't feel like it's life been wanting to die for years I battle with being nice n extremely mean I battle with trusting my closet people I don't know if I can have a relationship with anyone people turned me into this I used to be nice now everything seems intents no I don't feel like my old self I feel abandoned n to stop it from happening again I'm willing to stay alone no friends no girl friend no nothing but me I'm just scared to be a loner but my life headed there n I don't know how to stop it I guess if I can't stop them from abandoned me I'll abandoned them first
Thanks for the list it saves me watching the video 😅
In some cases Borderline Personality Disorder is caused by environment growing up. Such as dealing with a narcissistic parent or parent who has their own mental / emotional issues. I know this from experience.
Me too. Narcissistic dad
Absolutely. Cannot agree with you more.
Mom. And subsequently a husband.
My mother and her both parents are/ were narcissists. And I am suffering from multiple mental disorders.
I thought it was always caused by the environment growing up
06:57 Fear of Abandonment
07:54 Intense Interpersonal Relationships
08:38 Identity Disturbance
09:55 Impulsive Tendencies
11:32 Suicidal Tendencies
14:11 Mood Shifts
16:20 Chronically Feeling Empty
17:39 Intense Shows of Anger
20:58 Extreme Paranoia When Under Stress
This is so sad. How can one help?
I think that just being supportive, sometimes you can't help doing anything, but listening to the person is a lot, even if it seems that he or she is still not okay. Not all people listens to persons with mental illnesses and it's a necessity we have. And well, if the person is not receiving professional help maybe you can help by looking for options and informing the person of the possibilities they have. It's a gpod start point, knowing the mental health or social services. One thing I did for a friends that wasn't under treatment was to talk kindly to her and offered some options. If the person is slightly interested sometimes you can tell him or her to go to one of the options, so they feel responsible (perhaps it doesn't end helping, if the person is receptive it helps that someone tells you like "okay, what if you go tomorrow morning and then you call me and we talk about how it went". A friend of mine helped me that way and thanks to her I'm doing therapy and it goes wther and then I helped my other friend doing the same and she is going to therapy aswell :)).
So helpful! Thanks
William Ker
Well fuck I have all of these lol
I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with BPD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Pedroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, BPD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
"I FeEl LiKe WeRe AlL lIkE tHaT"
This is why I hate explaining my illness
Ikr!!! Or being told it's just cause "I'm a woman"
Ugh 🙄🙄🙄
The interviewer doesn't actually believe this. He used a common questioning technique. It allows the educator to put the proper perspective "in the air" (reinforces and promotes good beliefs). In reality the majority are already in tune, the ignorant just have a louder voice. Vast majority of people are willing to help, understand and learn with compassion.
Don't be tempted by victimization or pity. We can be part of the education process with dignity. Whining is not an efficient tool. Love ya!
Question Everything yep
Oh come one... every person does have traits of things, they're just seeking for the difference 🙄
UGH THATS EXACTLY WHY I CANT EXPLAIN IT
What I really like about this woman is her easy going demeanor and her ability to explain such often confusing topics with such clarity and ease. Big Thumbs Up.
UA-cam: Angels Visited My Little Girl This Morning.
UA-cam: *I BROKE DOWN IN TEARS* THIS IS WHAT JESUS JUST SPOKE TO ME!! JESUS IS COMING
UA-cam: I saw Old Lady In Hell!
UA-cam: I'M NOT GOING TO TAKE THE MARK OF THE BEAST, NOW WHAT?
UA-cam Sarah Boyanga
UA-cam Brother Carlos Oliveira
Her subject matter expertise is astounding. Her delivery is direct but not pointed.
tiffsaver Agreed! Wish she was my therapist.
@@dianaford7635
Ever notice that many of these so-called "mental health experts" are nearly as crazy as their patients??
I had to chance to speak to her at the American Psychological Association convention and she was awesome 😊
as someone with bpd, who else cried when she said we want to feel whole but there is often a small hole where it just keeps falling out
Done that before, so I couldn't now xD
Yes. I have literally felt all my life like I was born with a crack that can never be mended or "filled"
I just wish my family understood an believed this.
i cried when they hit us with they “i don’t wanna die but i don’t wanna live like this”
100% bawled..paused, and had an epic meltdown. Then watched the rest. Omg! Spot on!!
So many issues that appear to be BPD seem like what someone who is on edge and traumatized by dealing with a narcissist would do after years of dealing with a narcissist. Your personality can be altered by living in fear of serious and severe threats, manipulation, constant ups and downs, and on edge and also dealing with the depression and realization of the severe unfairness and feeling totally trapped for so long. Eventually you can't help but become suicidal or reactive, or one and then the other.
Exactly! Dealing with a narc will change someone's personality. Cptsd is real and it alone can create any mental illness.
This has been my experience. I’m autistic and have been suicidal for years, I self harm, and fear abandonment greatly. I also witnessed abuse as a child because my dad was a narc. Autistic women who have experienced abuse commonly develop BPD or borderline traits.. I’m wondering if I do have it.
This was my marriage, I married at 18 trying to escape my pain and he was an alcoholic narcissist who would get physical. I’m not sure if you went through it yourself but you gave me the words-to describe the pain of 7 years.
I have a music video about this on my page ! Check me out ❤
@@debrakarr996 exactly! Me! And living with an Avoidant. A sexless marriage, he constantly neglected me and deprived me. Also I am HSP. Highly sensitive person.
i have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder by a professional, and watching this video almost made me cry. it’s all so true. when she was talking about how these people (including myself) feel empty, it made me wonder if there are people that really do feel whole. it’s almost unbelievable to me. i always thought everyone felt empty in a way. it breaks my heart. but this woman was spot on, and i really did love this video as a whole.
I understand you completely! I'm just rewatching this video now, and I remember when I watched it the first time, I was determined to stay in control of how I'm feeling about what was being said, but then when she got to that bit about emptiness - specifically the hole at the bottom that everything just escapes through - I actually, literally burst out crying. That is so, SO real to me, and just like you, I can't wrap my mind around it what it would be like to feel whole, it's a completely alien and abstract concept to me.
I suppose that's what self-discovery is about as well - learning that others are truly "other" and different than us, even when it feels totally incomprehensible. Just like realizing that most people don't feel like they're on an emotional rollercoaster at all times, and that they don't let each and every little thing get to them - I used to think everyone is affected by basically everything just to the same degree that i am, but that they are better at controlling themselves and hiding it. And then I realized that no, apparently people have it easier because they just don't care about every tiny detail, real or perceived! What a wonderful life that must be...
Sorry for the wall of text. But I guess I'm in a mood :)
A personal question, did you have a narcissistic or drug/alcohol abusing parent?! For those of us who feel that chronic emptiness that might be the cause and leading us to have BDP
i completely agree. i feel like shit after watching this now because everything she said was true.
Am I the only borderline over here who gets pissed off at all this shit???? I wanna smack everyone in the comments, and even the man in the video!
@@lunar_light Self reflection is huge. Once u see the issue u can work on them. hope your doing well : )
I wish this lady was my therapist
Same here (and wife/GF) lol
@@TheFusedplug Lol yeah she’s attractive
Same, I wish I could see a therapist who’s really good at what they do. (Not saying most of them aren’t! Just saying lol) I live in the middle of no where and there are like no therapists let alone good ones!! 🤷🏼♀️
I have such a fear of opening up to people because I've convinced myself if they actually knew me they'd never want me & that's what made starting therapy so hard for me but... One day at the time & we can survive this. I hope you get some peace & I wish she was my therapist as well... Very calming.
@@basicallybeautybyshayy4510 Awwh I feel you 100%. Starting therapy is a big step in the right direction though, wish you the best! We've got this :)
Gosh... I’d do anything to get to talk to a professional like her😐
janikaanniina same
Why? And about what?
You okay? :-)
Me to I need to talk to her and I would like to talk to you
Kata Na about my mental health, because she seems to take things more seriously than where I’m from...
I've been watching so much stuff about these disorders that now i wanna know the traits of a normal human
Underrated comment 💜
There is no normal
Count me in ✋
Up up up
Right?
This psychologist is absolutely brilliant! She articulates everything so well.
Lorraine H
I've seen her before. She is smart, but she lacks humility. I would not trust a doctor without humility, especially in the field of mental disorders. There is so much that remains unknown.
@@marcusonesimus3400 I agree.
she is just passionate. she loves to share her knowledge. I don't feel lack of huimilty.
@@rebekahreynolds4913
Maybe you didn't see a second video on the subject featuring her, in which she blamed the condition on heredity and a lousy upbringing-----with a distinct emphasis on the latter! She appears to place great emphasis on the character flaws of patients, which though an easy path to pursue, seems to me a trifle judgmental.
She has lots of head knowledge, but i really wonder whether she has lived with an afflicted person throughout the development of the condition.
This Dr is wonderful, compassionate and knowledgeable! She has a Utube channel that is very helpful to a large group of people.
The problem is I need help, but my moods change so fast that one minute I'm open to getting help and the next minute I'm in a superiority complex and I can't. I don't think I'll ever get better? Lol
Get the help. If you think you don’t need help with something like this, then I think that is a telltale sign that you should seek a psych professional. Doesn’t make you crazy nor “un-normal”. It makes you saner and smarter than most who don’t. Wishing you all the luck in the world.
Oh my god me reading this just scared me because that’s exactly how I am. One moment I’m like yeah I want to go to therapy to get help and get better. The next moment I’m like noooo I’m good I’ll be fine Im strong don’t wanna look stupid spilling my guts to a stranger
@@MindYourBusiness23282 honestly spill your guts to me if you want, my Instagram is @morganalexissxo if you ever need anything
@@MindYourBusiness23282 honestly spill your guts to me if you want, my Instagram is @morganalexissxo if you ever need anything
Same. I'm on and off with getting help but the help has never been great either. The mental health system sucks.
1) fear of abandonment; 2) unstable and intense personal relationships; 3) identity disturbance; 4) impulsivity; 5) high rate of suicide attempts; 6) affective instability [moods all over the place; over-react to everything]; 7) reports feeling empty; 8) inappropriate and intense shows of anger [others 'walk on eggshells']; 9) transient stress experiencing paranoid symptoms.
She perfectly described a person addicted to cocaine.
Very interesting, however, with Borderline Personality Disorder, i believe that there could be many varying degrees of each of these distinct features, depending on the severity of the BPD, and for each individual that has it. I was told by a Psychiatrist years ago, that there were many varying degrees of a certain mental disorder, and that helped me, TO NOT ALWAYS ASSUME THE WORSE, AND that everyone who has this specific mental disorder, DOES NOT always HAVE a SEVERE CASE OF IT. THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT LEVELS. I AM THINKING THAT WITH BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER, THAT THE SEVERITY OF THIS DISORDER, DEPENDS ON THE SEVERITY OF THE ABUSE AND ALL OF THE OTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTORS, THAT CAN CAUSE A PERSON TO GET BPD. I KNOW PEOPLE WILL EXEMPLIFY THE SAME SYMPTOMS, BUT PERHAPS SOME PEOPLE LESS THAN OTHERS, AND SOME PEOPLE MORE SEVERELY THAN OTHERS, THAT HAVE BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER.
JUST A THOUGHT.... DOES ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING OR HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT POSSIBLE VARYING DEGREES OF BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDERS?
Thanks !
@@trishah.3134 They did make a video about the 4 different types of BPD, which does make a big difference. And yes, there are varying degrees, however the syptoms remain the same. You don't need to be cutting yourself or attempting suicide for example to have BPD, BUT it is very likely that people with BPD atleast have suicidal thoughts. You also don't need to be having a lot of sex with strangers or have spending issues, but you do most likely need 1 type or impulsive behaviour which could also be binge on food instead. All mental issues have degrees of them, nobody said otherwise, but this video is just trying to explain the basics I think.
@@yulana990 Thank you for that information!
This lady explains everything so well and makes it easier to understand. I have memories of being panicked a lot as a child because I would never know which mood my mom would be in when she would pick me up from school. Unfortunately, many years ago I didn’t have any success with getting my BPD mother into therapy. We had gone to therapy and she didn’t like what the therapist was saying and she got up and left. She never returned to there so I have no hope that she will ever change. I cut contact with her 4 years ago which was very difficult, but her actions were poisonous to my life and have even permanently affected some of my relationships with people I love. Anytime I I would visit her my anxiety level would skyrocket or even just thinking about her would cause me to almost go into a panic attack.
"you never know what will set the person off"
dawg even *_i_* dont know what will set me off
17.11.20. From UK. This is total nonsense and it in no way represents the truth. Heres some of the sworn gathered evidence that has caused us to experience death threats from the establ. Not spell checked.We were told not to resove the publics MH issues cos the work was costing the system jobs and threatening the charities and Universities. We now experience poverty. Meanwhile 3 miles from here ten people have been given loads money 'For Watching Movies' When you add the other distractions you have an image of both the 3rd Reich and the Roman Empire tactics.. Te formula never fails. If you add a bit of aspproved religion then you have the public enslaved. We ought to know, we bore the brunt of the violence aimed at stopping us exposing what we found. We spent many yrs involved with the media and we know what they think like. 20 yr Heres some of the 1000pp evidence crrptn in UK which has been obstructed by f-bk. Twitter. Yahoo. entire Press. The only media allowing this to be revealed is Google. Suppot them.Mental Health System Corruption. A minor addition to this sorry story is we had a leaflet thro the door which said if you are a victim contact Winchester Police HQ as they had been 'HIGHLY TRANIED by the HOME OFFICE. We have 12-15 yrs evidence of being threatened in courts, councils. political orgs and medical services so we tried to outline the history. To our shock/horror after ten seconds. the character said THIS IS HIGH LEVEL INFORMATIUON SO IM PUTTING THE PHONE DOWN. To be honest we expected it as we had 12-15 yrs of their behaviour. This all started when we were sent mental health clients who were described as impossible. Their med record was a roll about five inches across. They were full of drugs and not only that had been badly treated by people who at this time we wont mention. They had recd over 20 yrs of drugging but still had orig symptoms and cause. They neede 7 hours of techniques that work and we had to teach them how to deliberately revert if there were social services about otherwise they would be persuaded to go back to the abnormal state. Other clients had recd up to eight yrs private as well as NHS incompetence and if we had not got to them that nite they would now be dead. One of them a dancer from Covent Garden had been off work for a year and had a GP b/f. We had her back at work within two weeks after having done one 6 hour session . We then got police attacks. Previously the CHC has told us - "Nental Health Is Clean Floors And Startegic Toilet Rolls And No One Is allowed To know Anything About It So Dont Bother Writing To The Dept Health Because They wont respond". All of these people were featured in huge photos in the local press but when we tried to tell the press what was the We are very wary of the publics vision of people. The local press in this area also owned the press in our former area. We noticed that the newspaper each week was publ huge phtos of councillors and others and painting a picture of mass heroism. We knew by then that most of the articles were lies and we caught up wiith one particuar hero at the Coucil inspired CHC meeting. The CHCs were hoodwinking the public on Mental Health issues so it baffled us how this particular woman was being hailed as perfect. We manager to start asking her questions and to our alarm she blurted out- " Dont Bother About Helping The Public. I Used To Do That And Look At Me Now Im A there so thats when we found that the Educ System were doing cover ups re Mental Health. That continues to today. Another example of the being perfect hysteria was to do with the local Mental Hosp whose staff and clients were coming to us for remedial work. The Psych Mngr when we complained about this stated "comstate of the clients coming to us we got no response. We then found that friends ours who were teachers were involved in the press and in fact theor children were journalists petence has no value in mental health" and put the phone down. We then got onto the staff at the Hosp, thet said -- "we dont blab but she has caused deaths here and its been hushed up by the local police. council. courts. coroner" Then there was the usual stabbing. We knew the victim, a psych nurse ( we call them establ drug mill shepherds which is same as Social Services). and we also knew how clueless and dangerous she was but lo and behold the local press said she was a saint and better. The core issues incl- Appeasement. Suppression. Journalism. Art. Sport. Drama. Education. So far every HM prefix org looked at is corrupt. That means no Govt. So far 26 Universities corrupt and the students are backing it same as in 1933. Its a mirror image of that era. You never ever learn do you and you dont mind paying either. Why do you think the virus appeared..We are now experiencing more Police biolence . They say they are representing the HM Religion. Our very first clients told us this-'Dont Try To Expose This Situation Cos The Royals Are Behind It And You Will End Up Dead' Every prediction was accurate incl that of the virus. The indictment ? Establ Manslaughter.30.000 deaths over 35 yrs.
@@JohnSmith-dr9vl you seem to be responding to the wrong video.
Feel that
THIS!
Learn ur triggers n learn them so u have a little stability
As someone with BPD, having a gym routine allows me to function pretty well. I can stay focused and aware of my emotional state and control my behavior. Developing a gym routine helps with self discipline in this way. It teaches focus, dedication, commitment, it helps develop self respect and respect for others, and it helps develop the mental skills for gaining self control.
I agree a gym routine is good, I’m 39 and been working out consistently since 22 and I have BPD, but I don’t get the “it teaches you respect for others” part. If anything I just get super high off of it, it does keep you in the present sometimes, marijuana is far better for self awareness and being mindful in my opinion. Working out is just good all around but again, I don’t think it teaches that much. We’re all different though
Thank you!! My 23yr old son has just been "diagnosed" as having BPD, and I am searching for ways to help him. I wondered if setting up our gym and getting him to use it daily would help, and then I read your comment. Do you mind if I ask you if you have used therapy to help. And if so, what kind/style? We are on a fixed income, so cost is a bit of a barrier, but I just want to help him. 🥴
Yeah it’s annoying the ‘hAvE yOu TrIeD ExErCiSe?!’ trope but it’s legit!
This so important! I always remind my hubby to keep his routine and things in his day he enjoys but drives him because it really
Helps his overall mood
I’ve heard this from a lot of people that are like me, but what do you do when one of my friends they call them alters hates and I mean hates the gym any kind of work out. Hell she even stops me from having s** because it can be strenuous and Physical, and sweaty. So what do I do??? I don’t want to be here, I pray for my time but they want to be here. My life is so frustrating!
Wow. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 15. I have never heard it explained so well. She literally hit every part of what I feel. BPD is not fun. It is a daily struggle. I hate that I'm like this and am trying so hard to change it. My heart goes out to anyone here struggling with BPD because it really is so freaking hard. I'm so glad that I am not alone in my struggle. It makes me feel less crazy.
The biggest obstacle is accepting it. I accepted it 5 years ago and it was like an immediate switch being flicked in my brain. It wasn't a cure but it made dealing with it so much easier. I'm not 100% there but I've come a long way on my journey. One of the issues with BPD not brought up in this video is that BPD sufferers are drawn to each othe like moths to a flame. It's the intensity of relationships and immediate accepance that both people so desperately crave but the instability will ultimately doom the relationship. As someone who is self aware of it, I have been with partners who have it yet they hide behind depression/anxiety as they don't want to be labeled as having a 'bad personality' and to be honest, I don't blame them. The literal name for it is a large barrier for the sufferer to accept and get appropiate treatment. I'm with a partner now and she has BPD and she is forthcoming with it. It's hard but also very rewarding. That intensity is lovely if directed properly.
You're not by yourself. I'm not sure how to help ourselves, but at least we have each other.
Thanks❤ we can do this
Not possible. Your dr is child predator and head screwer
You are seen. I struggled a lot with DBT in the beginning, even wanted to quit two days into therapy. But now, 4 years later, I’m truly grateful that I stayed and worked hard. I still struggle from time to time, but DBT gave me the tools to handle my intense emotions better. I believe in you, you will be able to fight for yourself like I do. ❤
I HATE to admit that I have a personality disorder. It kills me to do so.
Here are my symptoms:
I have a sense of emptiness that shows up around happy, normal people.
I don't know who I am unless I'm helping or rescuing someone.
I am a chameleon depending on who I'm talking to. I exaggerate and lie.
I fixate on one person at a time.
I job-hop. I've had well over 100 jobs.
I 'date down' so that I cannot be rejected.
I am extremely jealous and it makes me paranoid.
I am extremely competitive and if I think I won't win then I won't try.
I lie. A lot.
I literally run away from attractive men.
I feel repulsed when someone likes me.
I've had three unplanned pregnancies by different men. All alcoholics.
Abuse and horror does not scare me, kindness does.
Ffs, this is me in a bombshell… sorry to be us…
That makes three of us 🙄
I think that is my partner. I am the favourite person. He keeps ditching me for women who treat him terribly and have a lot of issues. I think that he gets too insecure that even though I am mentally ill, I am more stable than he is. When he splits he makes like I am the crazy one and he can do better. In everyday life, I can function and generally I have to do everything for him. Even when I was working, I took care of him, I took care of the housework, I spoiled him. He keeps thinking about exes who were mean to him and only wanted to use him. I feel completely destroyed by how he splits and devalues me. He associates with terrible people. Child molesters, drug addicts, and prostitutes, and they turn him against me. I think it's like what you are saying that the stability terrifies him
samesies.
My ex would describer her like this, with the exception of the pregnant part. She was stunning I'm quite normal. She chased me, I tried to stay friends, she really wanted more. Then she got me, I fell in love and she realized she wasn't ready for the commitment that came with our relationship. Because she "dated down" she now became afraid to hurt me and cheat on me. She internalized her fear of hurting me so much she stopped talking to me, which ultimatedly ended up in me breaking up with her. She tried to be friends, but still couldn't talk, so we ended something beautiful two weeks after we had the best weekend of our relationship. "She just couldn't".
I've yet to find someone with BPD who could endure a healthy long term relationship. The worst case I've met had relationships with guys until they became suicidal. All her exes became suicidal...
In literally in tears because someone is finally voicing how I’m feeling... thank you
Read books on it you will find tools to help u
I read I hate u dont leave me I cried reading it didnt know i was bpd till i read it then i sought help
I cried soooo much after watching this too! It finally feels like I’m going in the right direction giving a name to what I’m struggling with
Hm I would communicate with a person who has good intentions. More so older and wiser
Me too. Love you.
Trait 1 06:56 Fear of abandonment
Trait 2 07:51 Unstable and really intense interpersonal relationships
Trait 3 08:35 Identity disturbance
Trait 4 09:56 Impulsivity
Trait 5 11:33 Suicidal behavior or thoughts
Trait 6 14:11 Affective instability (moods are all over the place)
Trait 7 16:20 Feeling empty
Trait 8 17:33 Inappropriate and intense shows of anger
Trait 9 20:54 Transitive stress-induced paranoid ideation, other psychotic symptomatology or dissociative symptoms (paranoid, psychotic, and dissociative symptoms)
24:08 "You need five out of the nine to be diagnosed with BPD." Typically traits 1, 2, and 6, plus a couple more.
24:45 Advice when you know someone with BPD
25:25 "The best way to start is not to approach a person who has BPD on the "you're all over the place" or "you're acting crazy" or something like that, but rather maybe focus on one of the other co-morbid symptoms."
excellent.
god bless you!
Thank you. Very helpful.
My x scores All 9 😥 .... Wish she whould have accepted some help .. but. Im glad I got out!
I appreciate what you did here, thank you! 😀
1. fear of abandonment - preparing for abandonment, leads to actual abandonment
2. unstable, intense, interpersonal relationships - can be family, intimate, work, friendships
3. identity disturbance - who am i? change of appearances, sense of different personas
4. impulsivity - binging on pleasures
5. suicide attempts - “if you leave me, i’ll commit suicide”, cry for help
6. affected instability - moods shifts in a short period of time, hyper reactivity
7. feeling of emptiness - wants to fill their emptiness
8. intense shows of anger - blows up, quick
9. under stress, may experience paranoia - disillusionment, dissociate identity disorder
Thank you!
Can’t believe I dealt with someone like this … smh
Thank you!
@@marklee2733 can’t believe you are not more understanding.
@@izuhna Im sorry if I offended you ….. but this is MY opinion on MY experience . People like this do real damage on a soul level and it’s not ok …. Look at the world we live in and the mental illnesses that cause the masses PAIN is that okay ? There’s no exception
I’m starting to realize after 27 years how my mother may very well be borderline. It’s conflicting and confusing in a sense, since she was objectively a good parent and mostly present. She used to fight a lot with our family and I would be the mediator. It wasn’t until I was about 10 years old that her rage started to emerge at the slightest thing. When I said or did anything she would explode. I started to be scared of her. Her doctors told her she has panic disorder, but I’m really starting to think with how she acts terrified of me abandoning her and is resentful of my independence that she acts out at me and claims I never do anything for her. Her moods sometimes shift dramatically, almost disturbingly. I would cringe and be so confused and terrified how she would go from screaming to acting normal and bubbly to other people. She goes from crying to laughing in the span of minutes. Sometimes she is remorseful and embarrassed of her rage, especially when she throws things or breaks something. Other times she will justify her anger for how I “don’t do anything for her” and used to hold all she’s done for me over my head, how she raised me and she gave her life to me. Her relationships with men in particular have been unstable at best and toxic and codependent. She is a bottomless pit where nothing is ever enough, no matter what I do for her. She doesn’t apologize until she finally breaks me down emotionally and mentally. Im realizing how manipulated I feel, how she is terrified of me abandoning her , and resents my independence as an adult with my own life and she even jokes she wished she raised me to be more needy.
Thank you for sharing your experience. Millions of us are going through the same thing, but we didn't understand it. God bless.
You described my mother, holy shit. 😢😮
You just described my mom. I feel so drained, and has came to the conclusion that she is never going to change the script for me, is incapable of feeling happy about small things, chronically discontent and anxious at the same time and selectively forgetful about all the good things I did her. Finally, I've emotionally distanced myself and breathing some fresh air of freedom
Yep, that’s my mom.
Do we have the same mother? You've just described mine! The only thing I would add in all seriousness is that what you've described is NPD from my own experience.
She explains such a complexed topic in a way that makes it easy to digest. This Doctor is a remarkable woman and a joy to listen to
She is
She has huge amount of educational videos about narcissism, her name is Dr Ramani, look for it in UA-cam
Agree
*complex* topic.
Remarkable at what. Nobody really knows
And she’s smoking hot too. I’m crushing
My therapist told me at 20 I am “the textbook definition of borderline” 😭 2 years later and almost all my symptoms are managed with combination of therapy, dbt skills, meds, anger management. Recovery is possible
Would you be kind enough to tell me what meds are you taking please, thank you.
@@michelessiambre2021 most of my meds failed, the only one that really helped ~my~ bpd was Haldol, it’s an antipsychotic. When I was on meds it was just to help curb my depression for the time being so we could focus on dbt and other therapy techniques. I’ve heard from other that meds help TONS and other who say the meds only made it worse. I find Effexor worked well with managing my co-occurring depression. (home grown bud has helped the most)
@@robyn00xx Thank you very much, make sure you have a wonderful day.
That’s wonderful to hear!!! Omg I’m so happy for you🙌🏽
I use Ayurvedic & cupping works Great ! tardive disconesia is Not worth the pharmaceutical poison
Borderline sounds so hard to have. My heart goes out to those with BPD 💜
I fantasize about what it’s like to feel normal
It’s very difficult 😢😭
Thank you. It’s hard out here 🥲
There was quite a long period when people with BPD were considered “untreatable” bc their huge issues with abandonment and the need to embellish and dramatize made it extremely hard for them to drop the game playing, the exaggeration and drama, in order to benefit from traditional therapy. But then some psychologists began using a technique called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy with these people, and they saw results bc the treatment is ‘in the moment,’ it doesn’t involve looking at family behaviors or constellations or histories. _CBT has been proven to be as successful as psychotropic medications for a large range of disordered thinking and behavior, including BPD, PTSD, suicidal ideation, alcohol and other drug issues, and eating disorders!_ This makes me really glad, as a psychologist, bc everybody needs to be able to feel hope. But the joke about how many psychologists it takes to change a lightbulb is totally appropriate for _all people,_ not just those with significant psychological or psychiatric issues....it only takes ONE psychologist, but the bulb really has to WANT to change! So if you have BPD, there is hope in finding equilibrium, and in being able to sustain relationships, and the amount of hope is in direct relation to the person’s commitment to treatment! If this is your issue, please find a CBT therapist and see what therapy does for you....you have NOTHING to lose!!
It really sucks!! 😭
Diagnosed 1 year ago, what a relief! I am not crazy, well, I kinda am. But now I know why I've been all my life outside looking in. Never fitted anywhere
"diagnosis is a tool to drive treatment, not to label" I love that she says that because to be honest, that's all that matters, not being able to label yourself as something but being able to properly treat it and live a functional life. took me years to understand this.
Trisha paytas could really be needing that quote right now.
@scott m : ) thank you, i appreciate that
True but at the same time there is often SO MUCH RELIEF to finally have a name for what has been incredibly life disrupting & thus, know there is help & that one is not alone. You are not your label..it doesn’t define you but it sure helps knowing.
@@sweetpeace5 exactly how i feel
Agreed...
I did not hear you mention what I thought was a big symptom: the tendency to idealize, then vilify loved ones.
Yessss! Having favourite people and basing your temporary identity on them
I hate so much that part of me, sometimes Im being lovely with my family and then suddenly for something insignificant I become a monster with them...
The splitting! I agree that it’s a huge identifier for those with BPD.
I do that also.
Been on the receiving end of that more times than I bothered to count. Acquired a tad more cptsd from those experiences. Wishing those of you that live with that all the best, seems like you need it.
I'm only here cause my friend was diagnosed with this recently so I'm trying to understand her condition more so I can help her
thats brilliant...my mates just accept which version they get.
you’re a good friend!
God bless you for this. My own family doesn't even try. Makes me so sad. They choose to think I can control it
@@iamtheltlone69 just remember it isnt your fault and theres always room to improve and work on yourself, even though you cant control it, you can always choose the way you deal with it. dont think of their opinions about it. You know yourself and that's all that matters
wish I had a friend like you
This completely describes my sister-in-law. She was 45 minites late and she was mortified that we ordered food without her. She felt completely rejected.
I hate that BPDs can feel rejected so easily. You go out of your way to try and make them feel like they aren't and it stresses everyone out.
4:08 emotional instability.
4:45 mood disorder (bi-polar) the difference.
5:40 why bi-polar vs. borderline are confused.
6:35 you can have both.
7:00 Fear of Abandonment (9 traits)
real or perceived (self-fulfilling prophecy)
7:55 Unstable and Intense relationships.
passion, anger, tears, rollercoaster feel.
8:40 Identity Disturbance "I don't know who I am"
Appearance changed / tattoos, piercings, hair etc.
10:00 Dangerous, risky, problematic behavior.
Impulsive sexual behavior. Mood sooth via shopping etc.
11:38 Suicidal Behavior, thoughts, attempts.
Pills, cutting, general self-harm. Unmanageable inner pain.
14:14 Moods Everywhere "Affective Instability"
Emotions mean action, moods constantly showing.
Difficulty regulating moods. Misunderstood with bi-polar.
Over-reactive / Hyper-reactive.
16:20 Chronic empty feeling. "Fill the Void"
Shopping, spending, over eating, people, sex.
Panic Inducing.
17:44 Inappropriate and intense expressions of anger.
Loud, quick, intense. Must "walk on eggshells" around BPD.
Super "thin skin" hyper-sensitive and react with anger.
19:30 Regret post anger. Abandonment due to anger.
Embarrassment, humiliation, anger. Emotional loops.
Could all happen within an hour over small unpredictable aspects.
Not much friends and family can do.
21:09 Paranoia "other people are out to get me"
Other people are talking about me.
Behaving like a child.
Appears like separate personalities.
"You only need to have 5 out of the 9"
Different styles require different treatment.
Get the individual into therapy.
Life long (multiple times a week) therapy.
25:30 + Approach!
Thank you 🙏
You're a winner, a keeper, and a saviour 😄😄😚.
@@justadjustor8993 That ain't what she said! hah
Yeah none of it makes sence
Thank you! They should pin this thread to the top
She was lovely but im very frustrated with her being interrupted during a thought i wanted her to elaborate on
Its Tumbie yes!
It’s conversation. She’s not giving a lecture.
I love this woman. She really breaks everything down so eloquently and concisely
That is not a woman
@@donavonmacallister3101 -Dr. Ramon, the therapist who is being interviewed by a male, is a FEMALE.
Hmmm, it seems she has drunken too much coffee. A bit hyper and seems also anger coming through. She is giving an uncomfortable interview and I find her un-pleasant. Talking too fast, 👎
@@donavonmacallister3101 what?
NO - SHE IS DEAD DANGEROUS
Iv had a diagnosis of bpd for a couple of years, and Iv always thought because I could shut people out of my life and act like they never existed I couldn’t possibly have a fear of abandonment (because I was the one doing the abandoning) but the way this lady explained it 🤯🤔
Quiet Borderline Personality Disorder... all of the symptoms but high functioning and suffering in silence. Moods are felt but can be hidden.
Hidden until abandonment actually happens - then crazy gets exposed lol
That’s called a Scorpio 👀
This is my daughter 13 and just starting her teenage years. I worry about her a lot.
@@erinlee7670 Pisces *
Agreed
There is also quiet BPD in which someone does not act out their mood swings in front of others but to themselves. It’s also called high functioning BPD.
I was thinking this whole time, "Thin skinned and emotionally sensitive? Oh I rage hourly, _interntally_ . I impulsively eat and binge watch TV, _moderately_ . I went nuts over that girl last time so much so that I had to just _cut myself off quietly_ , fearing I was smothering her. I was very codependent with my ex. And my ex before her. I've never know what I want in life and my identity is very fluid, _but I stuck it out and finished my degree!_ " etc. Like ticking the box for all of these things they talked about, but not to the extreme.
Thank you for pointing that out
yes. the reactions are less anger outward, and more, internalized anger and hatred.
I can control myself in certain environments like work but around family, I can't seem to control it.
@@kaseywood8173 sameeeeee close friends and family see it daily. Not so much work
I have BPD and when someone leaves or I think they’re going to leave…it literally feels like a piece of my physical heart detached from itself. It physically pains me and I wish it didn’t happen.
Like a fear of being abandoned
Wow.isnt that normal if you are breaking up though?with someone you love.
@@haydenspence6952 yeah kinda. But it’s also not. Like I could cry for a week over the (thought) of a friend leaving me. Because they got a new job..or got a new partner. And they may never know about it..but it exhausts me mentally and physically.
@@aprilcarter3712 ....but if you listen to the video , bpd is characterised by a rapid change of mood in a day or even in an hour.....
so crying for a week isnt a classic bpd trait.
if you are just feeling fearful and sad then its probably not bpd ... its probably something else .
bpd is characterised with angry outbursts
@@letsgoletsgoletsgoletsgoletsgo I do have those. Just not as frequent. I can clear a whole table of stuff before I even realize it.
i have diagnosed BPB and she explains it so good.
i relate so much and its also terrifying at the same time
It's not just expressing emotions strongly, it's feeling the emotions strongly to the point of being overwhelmed. The intensity of expression doesn't always match the situation. There is a complete lack of awareness and control in the moment.
OMG I have felt like I was so screwed up for years. Losing control of my emotions, then feeling horrible for letting anyone even see that side of me. Feeling like I don’t wanna live but I don’t wanna die. I’ve had failed relationships and felt so unlovable and horrible self esteem. I’m literally crying my eyes out just listening to her describe the traits of BPD.
I'm determined not to let bpd rule me, this video helps and learning to breathe will stop the fight or flight. I' m so glad I know this now, I never knew I was so .. and in the wrong, I get it. Knowing the problems helps me focus on solutions.
Agree, I believe someday there will be a cure for all mental disorders as they are just patterns of perception and awareness opens up a whole new world. Profit driven motives don’t help health/mental health.
People with strong emotions can use their emotions to create a new internal reality and therefore also a better external reality as well. Strong emotions can be a burden but they can also be the very thing that turns it all around. Feel your way through there fear/non beneficial pattens with 💜!
yes! i am that way, i feel things so intensely, and since my fear of abandonment is so strong, i don’t like to act out on my emotions always. i’m always afraid of my emotions and acts pushing people away and it’s suffocating sometimes
YES!
i think it would be cool for yall to go over "quiet" borderlines. yes, a lot of us have explicit fights in relationships but there is also a good chunk of us who turn it inwards instead of outwards. for example, if i were to fight against my mom (or even disagree on a trivial topic), she would blow up (think she also has bpd lmao). i learned to bottle all of that up instead of showing my emotions or frustration. now, if im in an uncomfortable situation, i take it out on myself thru a combo of self harm, self deprecation, isolation, etc. we dont have as much representation which kinda sucks
i feel you
this happens so much with me
ive just been taught to stay quiet, so i dont scream or cry in front of people, but i instead just take it out on myself, which a really really harmful way of dealing with this
Exactly! This is exactly what I go through
But you recognize it, you just need some counseling. You already know it's not you. Why harm good ole you? You can't always fix broken people, so just move on, take care of you.
Yes!! This is me!
Isolation and these days I cry more instead of self harm ! Working out helps
Everybody complaining about the man but I like what he's doing. He's bringing up the ignorance around BPD and having her respond to it.
This, like wtf people? Shits kept very professional, they both talk about what they're going to talk about beforehand
Thanks, exactly
But she is lying.
Yes. However, I feel he could be a bit smoother and believable in his empathic moments. Sometimes his interruptions--which are totally normal for the host to conduct in an interview--are a bit jarring. So he is learning more here than you or I, hopefully.
He’s a judgy prick. He needs to keep those facial expressions and snide comments to himself. They really need to get someone else to host this very much needed information.
This is one of the lonliest illnesses to live with. So heartbreaking.
Watching this. I actually cried. I always feel like nobody understands me. But here they're basically talking about me! It's like they KNOW me.
BPD suffers just want to be loved and accepted.
Yes agree...but I must love and accept myself.
@@spiritwalker9903 totally. I do. But I am always looking for someone to show me some love. It stems from childhood lol
@@umarsattar1540 yes mine too
@@spiritwalker9903 aww I'm sorry to hear. We're beautiful! And I don't know you, but you are not alone ❤️
@@umarsattar1540 thank you...I see the truth of who you are.
My father committed suicide in 2019. I find myself seeking out these videos because I want to understand what he was going though better. He was abusive and unpredictable and really scary throughout my childhood, but he also had sides I miss dearly. He treated me like an extension of himself, not a rea person, was so reactive and angry and scared the shit out of me, so many difficult effects to this day. He treated my mom like a dog and then begged for her back again and again. I chose homelessness as a teenager rather than live with him and then he bribed me back to live with him when my mom left. Begged for her back again, then cheated on her and killed himself when she left him. Refused therapy and was dishonest with all people attempting to help him, none of us knew what to do. We all just wanted off the roller coaster ride so bad. I miss him terribly. It makes me so sad that he was so full of chaos. It makes me angry that he drove my brother to heroin addiction, and abandoned all of us. I love him and I hate him. I miss him. I am relieved he is gone. His chaos remains
God bless you❣
Someone, many years ago, made a statement to the effect
"It doesn't end when they go in the ground!"
Processing takes a long time...be patient with yourself. Clean house...i.e. friends and family who do not add positive points to your life.
So sorry to hear all of this but it sounds like you have found forgiveness.
I am so sorry. What an extremely intense upbringing… what kinds of help have you attempted to get to process all that, and how have they been for you?
Huge long hugs to you.
The Dr is so clear and precise. I love how she speaks.
Ikrrr i could listen to audiobooks by her. Her voice is like a hug
At one point it was almost like he was bored listening to her and I got so irked. Then he chimed in about the dogs 🤣 but I love how she quickly brought him back to the topic.
@@iamchristinarose yes
She's also easy on the eyes and I can't believe she's 55 years old! Wow!
Yes!
I cried watching this. I feel like this woman can tell me more about myself than I could. I feel like she reads us like an open book and it’s scary. But it helps because I find comfort in knowing that I’m not dealing with this alone and I am not crazy.
You are not crazy. You are beautiful❤
We aren’t crazy alone… we’re… crazy together…😂
I cried too and feel the same way
It's sad that we can't just look in the mirror and see ourselves.
I didn't want to think I had this kind of emotional instability. What was once hidden from Family and/or Friends has been for years out in the open .
was once
Being BPD is torturous.
I feel like I should have never been born, that I’m a mistake and an aberration. Most of the time I feel this, but then other times I see myself as a unicorn - unique and something unlike everyone else.
My feelings get hurt so easily from things that are just completely inconsequential. And I feel horrible the rest of the day from the most insignificant of things.
My emotions are way too extreme, my negative ones the most. I get angry over very small things (not super often) but when I do it’s explosive. I actually have to start hitting myself in the head cause it’s like I need to expel the energy, I get so pent up it’s like I’m going to explode.
And when I get angry I end up crying, cause I am so overwhelmed. I get labelled as having tantrums and being a baby, but I don’t think people understand at all what it is to have these emotions. They are so intense it’s like a rush of drugs.
You have just described me in perfect detail. It is EXTREMELY painful. My emotions are often so intense, i feel like my heart is going to explode right out of my chest.
What is worse is seeing many of these traits in my daughter as well. I feel so badly for her.... having this pain is so debilitating, i worry that she will live a very painful life, and doomed to be completly misunderstood, just like me.
Right there with you ... ☹
Wow!😮 Did you perhaps read my personal diary? Because you just described me.
Keep seeing urself as a beautiful being, we are all have that behavior where we think it is not normal but if u will try to look openly that none of us were perfect and none of us were exempted with whatever imperfection therein as a human, i used to hate myself before out of things i thought i am different with others but through constant facing the struggles and hardships i met along the way that it came a tool for me to understand and open my eyes that we all have issues within ourselves and it just happened with a more different approach on how it came to our lives, best wishes to you 🌷
I genuinely thought I was the only one that punches their head when I get extremely overwhelmed & angry.
“I feel like we are all like that” I’m sure not everyone has a full blown panic attack when you wave at someone in the hall and they don’t wave back at you jack
I already feel nausea by just imagining this ✨
It’s extremely bothersome and makes me wish I hadn’t bothered 😬.
Beth Tyler Yep. It's better than vilifying and separating people with BPD from the "normal" people that the past generations have done.
When I was young, I was afraid to say hi to someone, especially boys in highschool. If I said hi and they ignored me I was devestated ....
he was implying that everyone has these emotions to a much less intense extent.
My ex husband (whom I am dating again 14 yrs later) and child are borderline. I am so glad to hear that they can go from severe anger to laughing in minutes. It is so challenging, more so as my ex hurts himself during these anger bursts and it is frightening! I feel validated here, thank you
Same....my wife has been struggling big time since having kids. When it's good and stable life is good. But when it's not it's miserable.
this video made me sob. ive been searching for years for what the hell is wrong with me and now i think i need to go to therapy again. thank you for helping me know something that is true about myself and the way i feel.
there are some very good apps on google that are kind of disgnosis apps. some have been very insightful for me
Very best wishes to you.
@@racheljessie5536 what are they called ..?
@@racheljessie5536 can you list them? i dont want to go get checked for bpd and find out i dont have it
@@racheljessie5536 what are they?
''And diagnosis really is a tool to drive treatment. that is its function. not to label someone''
All I could say is wow. Now that's a real doctor. amazing!!! everything was so clear and informative. loved the interview so much!
Simply amazing
Exactly. A lot of people asked why i wanted to label myself. And i say its to see what disorder i have to properly treat it. Disorders are not treated or coped the same way
Man I wish she was my doctor. She just explained my entire life in 20 minutes
She has her own channel. Type in "doctor Ramani" She mostly talks about narcissistic abuse. But she's very good to listen to.
i dont.
I've had it explained by multiple doctors and psychiatrists. They all made quite a big deal out of 'black/white thinking', then touched on impulsivity, self harm/suicide and abandonment issues. She just outlined 9 traits with such clarity and understanding of what they are like, and even listed them in order of how the cycle often goes. I'm very reassured that I have not been misdiagnosed. :)
I agree. She's not shoving meds down our throats and kicking us out after 10 minutes.
@@theroslynheightsnibbler805 Yes, that's so frustrating. A few minutes chat and they send you off with a prescription as if it's going to be some magic cure. I started to feel like a lab-rat!
I was diagnosed with BPD a few years ago, and honestly have to say it changed my life. Before I had no idea why my feelings were always so strong and why I had such a hard time controlling them.
After I was diagnosed and learned why, I was able to read up on it and learn why I feel so different from everybody else. Today I am much more in control of my emotions. I might still snap and say hurtful things from time to time, but I haven't had an episode that turned violent or suicidal in years. It also got a lot easier for people around me when they learned I had a diagnosis.
Now I remind myself every day that my feelings are just much stronger than other people, and I ask myself to please remember that my friends aren't abandoning me just because they're not answering my texts. And just saying that to myself and reminding myself has done wonders for my progress. I could even see myself in a relationship one day. Which was impossible before.
Very proud of your hard work.
Can I asked what age did you start showing symptoms? Have you tried any meds?
In America, there should be a clinical psychologist in every high school
Better yet, catch it in elementary school before it gets out of control.
Yal already have a school counsellor the uk have nothing don’t get cheeky
A good one though...as there are many with the “title” who can actually make things worse 😩
I think empowering children and parents early on, on mindfulness, questioning thoughts (we aren’t our thoughts, and all thoughts aren’t true), questioning narratives we apply to others intentions, taking things less personally, learning emotional intelligence....
much of this behavior is ingrained early on. Core wounds of “not good enough”, “I’ll be rejected”...and more, are very powerful. Once those are addressed and people are empowered to change their thinking, that’s huge.
Definitely getting help and support early is good.
Yeah but personality disorders really shouldn't be diagnosed before people are adults because their prefrontal cortex isnt developed yet. But it would be good for like anxiety and depression and stuff.
Yes
when he said “i feel like we’re all a bit like that” i knew i was gonna dislike him
I actually thought he deliberately asked that because that's the type of ignorant thing many people would say. But meh, I don't like him either actually.
Why? I approve of him making sure that people don’t misdiagnose themselves. Everyone can get a little attached or obsessed at the start of a relationship
But he is right.
He is right, he is there to interact. Chill out guys
he asked that on purpose smh
Hi, im 24 now. Diagnosed at 16. After almost 10 years of regular treatment today I feel very different from what I used to be like. You can do it too guys. I still feel all that, but I learned to control it all and get a grip of myself, sometimes things get out of hand but that happens to everyone.
That’s really amazing. Although, if you have the time to answer, I’d like a little help. I’ve been feeling this way for a very long time but I am not sure how I should tell my doctor about it. I have an appointment as a yearly check up coming up soon and I want to mention it, I’m just not sure how. Any suggestions?
Alejandro ❤️
@@voxentino well you dont have to tell your doctor if you dont want- not directly, you can perhaps talk about the symptons. It is thw most common personality disorder, he must realize youre talking about borderline
Alejandro, so, i talked to her about it never actually mentioning that i think it is bpd, but i told her my symptoms, and she said “it’s probably just adolescence” and “all teens feel this way” when i’m certain it’s not that way. i’m going to start seeing a therapist eventually though to see if i can actually be diagnosed. wish me luck ^^
@@voxentino update?
Thanks for a nice summary. As a middle aged man, just recently diagnosed, I am still discovering things about my condition, trying to create logic and happiness in the wake of the mess this condition caused me through out my life.
This made me tear up. It’s like listening to someone that understands me. Note that I haven’t been able to understand my own symptoms.
I feel that. It hurt home when it talked of self harming. I hate and I regret it after but I kinda...understand why I did*** it
Get professional help. You Deserve It
Same. I'm literally bawling my eyes out rn because I feel like I understand myself for once in my life.
same
Bruh I straight up balled. Why haven't I realized this sooner... It's almost relieving to have figured out what's going on with me
I also feel like a lot of people were never taught good coping mechanisms, don't have good support systems, don't get taught appropriate ways to manage their emotions or ever feel loved and a culmination of those things can be really detrimental to the development of a person. People are capable of learning but it takes a very long time. When in an ideal environment, children learn these healthy skills over their entire lifetime. You can never get the time back that you missed with these developmental moments, but you can build new ones and create a lifestyle of that learning.
Great points
I resemble this. Self-discovery as an adult is hard and long but doable.
@@carolgibson-wilson4354 so how
Absolutely correct.Todays kids have parents that change partners on the drop of a dime.Some women care about having a bf more then their children.
@@m.t.426 both parents are not any better than the other. Crappy society we live in.
Wow 11 years diagnosed and she makes more sense then any of my doctors
Paul: agree, but I feel slightly injured, insulted by her jolly, jesting narrative. I suppose it is not meant for the Borderliners to hear. Have only heard 5 mins, maybe hear the rest. I believe less and less in psych diagnoses with the years. HAve you heard the YT vid where many psychiatrists are asked Q's like" Does psychiatry/you know how diagnoses work/are+ Do you know how the drugs you prescribe actually work? Have you cured any patients? Is psychiatrics and diagnostics, mediaction scientific, do you know what you are doing? .They ALL answer no! Check out Nutritional Balancing PRogram, free lecture about f ex emotional issues from biochemical imbalance, nutrient imbalance, toxic metals. not saying it is all rubbish, but that the picture is larger.
Take care of yourself, + remember, nothing is fixed forever or incurable.So much depends on our own will, fate and life style/life habits. Bad habits will make anyone ill sooner or later. I have been looking for a healing friend for mutual support and the joy, recognition., comfort and soothing fellowship.
I thought my openness in wanting examination would help me get correct therapy. I never got that, have searched, done and helped myself as well as I could for many years. What about you?
Merlijn Pieron Indeed, and honestly Claudia Bothner’s reaction is very atypical of someone with the condition, other professionals have stated that in UA-cam videos and do not recommend showing diagnostic videos to them (remember how sensitive they are and quick to lash out, often to those that are trying to help them); it’s always someone else’s fault - a common trait in personality disorders - and therapy becomes an important way for BDP to stop doing that by gaining a stronger definition of self (as their reaction comes from borrowing/leaning on others so heavily).
It is a runaround business. Where hopefully you'll spend quite a bit of money with them. To talk about what it is is easy. To confirm why and where it comes from and how to correct or "cure" it is difficult and starts to spurn a lot of charlatans.
I agree with you. Started with talk therapy to understand my “Lostness” then nutritional which is Really what ails most in All areas. And finally, spiritual education and acceptance. The Bible holds Many secrets to stable fullfilled living in an evil world ruled by Satan. Jesus is where u can go after the DSMMD ends! Peace and love bros and sis
She is not jolly or jesting at. People with personality disorders like yours can be paranoid and negative a lot. Se is simply emphatic and passionate about her knowledge.
She seems compassionate. Get some perspective.
This has been the best insight into what my brother must have been going through before we lost him to this disorder 15 years ago
She just explained exactly everything my heart cannot say.
eenjooy93 I feel the same
eenjooy93 You are capable of expressing yourself in a healthy way, as a whole and complete individual. Give yourself some credit. You deserve it.
We aren't alone. We stand together. I know it sucks but at least we can have internet friends that can help.
same
Me too. I'm bawling. I've been told bi-polar but I knew it wasn't right and my Mom has been saying borderline personality disorder and I finally looked it up and this is me to a T. I don't want to be me. Like I don't want to die(I think of taking my life constantly to stop the pain, the fear, the emptiness etc..)but I don't want to live like this. I just don't even know what to do anymore. I'm going to loose everyone in my life because of this stupid disorder I didn't ask to have. I would give anything not to have this, all I want is to be normal.
With someone who was diagnosed BPD as of 2 years ago
It sucks
It truly sucks
It’s black and white
Good and evil
Light and dark
0-1000
Life or death
My husband is a trooper for marrying me and being part of this journey
Everything you’re talking about is spot on
😢
The worst part you should’ve addressed is when the anger is gone it’s like it never happened
But spot on
Poor guy
It’s like it never happened for the person with bpd. The rest of us are going around with band aids for our wounds and brooms and trash bags for the debris, plus our own traumas from being on the receiving end of unpredictable attacks.
@@colinbillington9584 this year has been great
No episodes or anything major
He wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s proud of me and been a huge supporter and fighter for me.
@@colinbillington9584 this year has been great
No episodes or anything major
He wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s proud of me and been a huge supporter and fighter for me.
@@ilspeth99 yeah, I know how that is. It’s like walking on eggshells. It sucks. And the family, spouse, friends who have to deal with it get in their own head about how to even approach someone with BPD. But there is a light
Hearing that a person can have both borderline and bipolar disorder put my mental health in perspective. I thought I was hard to treat. God bless anybody who has to live with the two concurrently.
I have BPD and Bi-polar type 2. I've been in therapy for years and have worked very hard on myself. I still struggle but I have developed tools to regulate my moods.
I have both bp1 and bpd yes its quite horrible1
Yes, bipolar type 1 and BPD. It really is the worst.
Greg McHaffie lots of us are double demoted. Aaaargh.
My daughter has BPI, BDPD, and GAD...it is a struggle very day.
Someone needs to answer how does a family member handle these behaviors, it can be exhausting
Take them to therapy.
My mom started reading “stop walking on eggshells” because she decided I am borderline when I had trauma response after medical procedure and couldn’t handle being yelled and screamed at and having my feelings dismissed while I’m struggling to eat, sleep, breath, and live. She needs therapy.
@@Kerrviiithey don’t do well with therapy and don’t do much to help themselves they will blame you
You don't. That is the issue. Therapy at an early age is going to backfire when they need it in maturity. Don't send them and deal with the severe spikes early on. They need to hit rock bottom and want therapy, or it doesn't work for decades.