Intermittent Explosive Disorder Deep Dive | Is it really Narcissism or Psychopathy?
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- Опубліковано 12 лис 2024
- This video answers the questions: Can I provide a comprehensive review of Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)? Can I address the controversy over Intermittent Explosive Disorder?
Is pathological impulsive aggression the same as psychopathy or narcissism?
Definition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM)
A. Recurrent behavioral outbursts representing a failure to control aggressive impulses.
This criterion can be met through either of the following ways
1. verbal aggression occurring twice weekly on average for a period of three months
a. physical aggression that does not cause damage or injury
2. three outbursts of physical aggression within 12 month period that result in damage or injury
B. The expression of aggressive behavior is grossly out of proportion to any provocation or stress
C. The aggression is not premeditated and not committed for some type of gain
D. The outbursts cause distress, dysfunction, or legal problems
E. Must be at least six years old
F. Not better explained by another mental disorder, medical disorder, or substance use
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.). Arlington, VA: Author.
abcnews.go.com...
Royce Lee, Konstantinos Arfanakis, Arnold M Evia, Jennifer Fanning, Sarah Keedy, Emil F Coccaro. White Matter Integrity Reductions in Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Neuropsychopharmacology, 2016; DOI: 10.1038/npp.2016.74
www.npr.org/as...
Kulper, Daniel & Kleiman, Evan & Mccloskey, Michael & Berman, Mitchell & Coccaro, Emil. (2014). The experience of aggressive outbursts in Intermittent Explosive Disorder. Psychiatry research. 225. 10.1016/j.psychres.2014.11.008.
Best, M., Williams, J. M., & Coccaro, E. F. (2002). Evidence for a dysfunctional prefrontal circuit in patients with an impulsive aggressive disorder. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 99(12), 8448-8453. doi:10.1073/pnas.112604099
behaviorismandm...
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The field of psychology seems stuck in molasses when it comes to understanding the lasting affects of childhood abuse and the issues it causes into adulthood. So much that is seen as personality disorders or mental illness are lasting issues from childhood trauma. The effect it had on our brains as kids is brought into adulthood. It’s not an excuse for bad behavior, it’s the beginning of understanding how to recover and get the help you need. But most professionals I’ve seen have no idea how to help people like me with trauma issues even though the topic has been around since Freud first started psychoanalysis. It’s why even though I go to a therapist, usually I end up learning how to help myself. I’ve had one professional in twenty years of looking that knew what he was doing. The rest? A waste of time. Once you find someone who knows what to do, it’s a blessing from God. Once they retire? Frustration.
At 53 I'm just realizing how damaging my upbringing was. I knew I had a temper and I've had depression since I was 12, but I'm realizing the depression probably stems from being raised in a confusing household- an abusive father and a mother who would tell me my dad was wrong to yell and hit us, yet she is still married to him after 55 years. But I still have difficulty enjoying ANY family get together, even when it's my husband's family since that was a time of intense stress for me. And I agree, try to find someone to help you deal with a damaged upbringing and the residual mess you are trying to work through while raising your own children, who inherited the ADHD, depression, and autism that complicated your childhood. Impossible.
Hi NB! My NB stands for Nobody, I hope yours doesn't. You are spot on. I come from a dysfunctional family in Afghanistan. Abuse, you name it, my dad did it. I came to London at age 30. Within a year ended up in a mental health secure unit via police station. A blessing in disguise! I've been taking daily medications ever since, and the diagnosis list keeps getting longer i.e. Anxiety, Depression, PTSD, Bipolar. However, the real breakthrough came from within, during a Counselling Session with the right person (who was a survivor himself). Knowing the what and why of it was the breakthrough I needed. Now I live with the normal 20% of my brain. I try to keep it in charge by keeping in touch only with the people I love (my wife and kids), and avoiding alcohol, drugs, and stressful situation (dealing with people). When stress hits, I call the crisis number, before the 80% takes over and ruin what is left of my world. Best wishes! 🙏
@@Bunchoeves Hi Chris, I can identify with a lot of what you have been through. I admire your courage and wisdom to do the right thing, despite all odds. My dad was a heartless monster, my mom pure love. But, she stayed and had 13 children with him, because she had no choice(Afghanistan!). When she couldn't take it any more, she took her life. Sometimes, I wish both my parents were bad. It would make it easy for me to deal with (leave/kill) them. It gets complicated when one is good, one is bad. It is like a hostage situation. It has split me into two diametrically opposed, irreconcilable beings. At 57, I still don't know which one is the real me. They both are equally real when in charge. I know which one I would prefer to be, but it is possible only when I am among kids. Their world is pure, innocent and safe. Adults are too unpredictable for me. Best wishes 🙏💐 Ali
Intermittent explosive disorder can be a psychosis and an aspect of anti social group dynamics.
although many people can have anger and impulse issues if brought up in a dysfunctional home, or poor parenting and trauma- that said How do we explain people that had amazing childhoods ,wonderful Parents , and all kinds of supports and resources available to them, No trauma... still have IED?
Someone close to me fits this description. He doesnt realize hes anxious or stressed and just explodes with anger seemingly out of the blue. Little things set him off. He usually doesnt know what set him off. He has deep remorse once he's calm again. He yells and damages property. Sometimes he sends angry hateful texts or calls. He hates being this way but feels he cant control it. Mood stabilizers coupled with antidepressants have helped to take the energy and motivation out of his anger so that explosions dont occur. He does suffer from depression and anxiety, and he was verbally and physically abused as a child. He was also emotionally neglected as a child. I believe these things contributed.
A. M. I've read acupressure points can be used to treat things like that. Sometimes called "Tapping". You never know. It can be researched right here, on UA-cam.
Hello, A.M./ Great observation...In my 4+ decades of working as an EMS
First Responder, I'm guessing that approx. 15% of our transports, were of a psychiatric nature. With minimal exceptions, most psych. patients are very well aware of their behavior. They often use their diagnosis as an excuse to lash out at others. Sometime, sooner or later, it WILL backfire, and the outcome can be disasterous; they need to get their act together, before it gets out-of-control. Be safe out there!.
I was going to comment that I think- based on the people I know who have reactive outbursts that depression, anxiety and triggered shame are involved.
Unprocessed negative emotions that they repress most of the time, suddenly hit them when faced with some trigger.
In all cases I know of, these people were abused physically, emotionally and in some cases sexually as small children.
The adults around them were emotionally unable to care for small children with any maturity and most likely had the same kind of treatment in their childhood -so they didn’t bond( social attachment) and were never taught to self-soothe or how to process negative emotions in a healthy way.
@@Raminakailol how you started was funny but yeah I agree with many points
I also get outbursts and because of the education I have, I am very cogent when I outburst. Although I tend to get aggressive towards specific "triggers": crowd size, colour worn, stances of the people. Frequently I get intrusive thoughts regarding physical harming of others, yelling at others or incoherent screaming. The IED came out fully after a suicide attempt in 2021 in a basement. I say attempt because the 2022 suicide was successful. I really hurt myself with the knife. I am now trying to become a paramedic and I am still homeless. I am antisocial and have facial blindness. I am also autistic and deaf. I am also now blue colourblind
My mum used to say I was like a pressure cooker when I was a younger! I was an abused child and my IED began like that.
Unlike sociopaths or narcissists, we don't have the other symptoms personality disorders, we just share one important common ground: we have trouble managing our emotions.
I can feel remorse and take responsability for my actions, unlike a narcissists who would probably blame others, or a sociopath who won't feel empathy (it's also why I have more boundaries and try to turn my anger against objects and not people!!) . And explosive anger is not premeditated.
It usually begins in response to a compulsive behavior (like binge eating). An outburst is followed by remorse, tiredness, sadness, and lack of understanding (why was I so angry?) But over the years I have developped strategies to manage crisis. Although I can't manage my anger directly, I can feel when I am in a bad day and take necessary precautions, like avoiding certains triggers, and having rituals to try breaking the crisis before it starts. It's also necessary that loved ones are aware of the disorder, so they understand how it works. I had to put distance with my abusive father as well.
Lastly, crisis decreased in frequency and intensity with a bit of work (not even that much efforts, only some consistency).
did you take any medicine? i know someone who probably have IED and his family is having hard time understanding him, he don't want to talk about it after an outburst. any tips you could share?
my mum still calls me silly nicknames in relation to my anger. What type of rituals or exercises did you do? I still have a long way to go and have much to learn. I can't always tell when it's coming, so it makes it hard to avoid. Thank you for your comment. It was very relieving to read. I felt a little less alone.
You described perfectly exactly how I feel and what I’ve went through! I also had an abusive childhood and I noticed that’s where my “anger problems” started.
저도 성격장애 있어요.
그래도 분노조절장애. 이건 자신있어요.
자동차. 안에서 욕을 하시든지.
집 안에서 욕을 해요. 사람 없을 때요.
신나게 신나게. 욕을 해요.
1시간 잘 버티세요
시간됐으면 자기반성을 합니다
하느님 .누구씨 욕해서 죄송하고
용서해주세요 . 제가 부족하고 못나서 남탓하였습니다 ** 살면서 몰랐는데 남탓하면 하늘에서 제일 크게 혼낸다믄서요 .지금부터라도 100일 동안 남탓하기 건수를 조금씩이라도 줄여 보도록 노력해 보겠나이다 .
모르는건 하나하나 가르쳐 주십시요
사람들이 하는 말이 기분 나쁘게 들리면 "내가 원인 제공자 이구나 "라면서 마음을 다스리겠습니다
아멘)
한달에 한 번 실시해요
총 3회 정도 하시면 분노조절장애 쏙~ 들어가요. 뽕 ~사라짐.
준비물 :프링글스 과자통1개 .솜 한주먹 집어넣고 입에 갖다 붙이고 욕을 시작하세요 .
마실 물 1리터
화장지 (콧물. 더러운 침도 많이 나와요 )
20살 이하는 권하지 않아요
대신 자신의 감정을 관찰하는 일기를 써 주세요.
소식하는 것은 잊지 마시구요
Every time I hear more teaching re narcisis , BPD or IED I get a fuller view, understanding of what I have lived with for 50 plus years. I knew something was wrong but could not put my finger on it. Now I know
hugs, what's your diagnosis
Whoa... I know this exists! Lol
Yup
For me, it was my sibling... this IED, coincides with other mental health issues, that were diagnosed
My girlfriend has I.E.D. It’s been extremely challenging but I’m learning what triggers her, also the outburst are similar to a child that’s throwing an extreme temper tantrum, you have to let them go through it, then 30-60 min later their calm, remorseful and embarrassed. It takes a lot of patience. When she’s normal she’s a perfect Girl, like a Disney princess, an Angel but when her outburst occur, it’s like a Demon possesses her, similar to Amber Heard being toxic with Johnny Depp…
Run
Run very fast. @@slaughterkvng3886
Yes please run.. from experience she will get worse as time goes on…you can not help her
@@jmj1852 I think she’s possessed by a demon…
These replies are like if stage 4 cancer and AIDS had an baby. It's fucking gross.
Yeah, it's definitely not narcissism. It's uncontrollable outbursts of rage followed by shame and remorse. Just learning about intermittent explosive disorder. Pretty sure this is one of the things wrong with me. Every now and then I explode and destroy inanimate objects, punch holes in walls. Usually I immediately feel better and calm after putting a hole in the wall. Sometimes it takes more than one hole to calm down.
Sincere appreciation Dr Grande.
more insight into people who act "BESIDE THEMSELVES"...
these outbursts are contrary to who they want to be
I love how you also bring into account PERSONAL ACCOUNTABILITY!!!! That concept has tended to be thrown out the last several years to a decade. Yes, not saying this isn’t a diagnosable condition and can be totally a reason for a situation....but that doesn’t mean that every time you can excuse the person and let them get away with anything because of it. I greatly appreciate that view being stated by a professional
I have outbursts of extreme verbal aggression, and one thing causes those outbursts: My BPD mother. As you said, the stress builds over time and that stress has to go somewhere or I will implode. It may sound like victim blaming but she pushes and pushes and pushes because she WANTS that outburst, it feeds her mental illness, it feeds her need for attention. She did it to my father, both my stepfathers and her friends. All have (either died or) distanced themselves from her. There is not enough research into the damage mentally ill people cause to those close to them. My mother has left a psychological and financial path of destruction in her 70+ year wake and there is no changing her, there has never been any help for any of us and the only solution is for people to cut her out of our lives.
You may be suffering from BPD yourself from the sounds of it. I wish you well.
This sounds more like a trauma response. Maybe look into CPTSD.
@@thereisnosanctuary6184 lol how did you know??
I call this "wood pecker syndrome". These people peck peck peck peck peck peck peck peck peck Peck Peck Peck Peck Peck PECK PECK PECK PECK PECK PECK AT YOU UNTIL YOU WANT TO PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE!!!
Learn to sense when you're being pecked and remove yourself immediately. Grab your phone and watch something on UA-cam that makes you laugh so you can forget what happened and you'll be amazed at how your emotions get cooled off. I call it "going to my happy place".
It gets more fun when dementia comes along later in life. Thank you for the observation that personal responsibility is possible. I've believed that for years.
Oh no 😬🙃
Oh for f🤬🤬ks sake!!! It's been difficult ENOUGH and now we all have IED DEMENTIA to look forward to?!?
@@brandirose3874 it's a struggle I wouldn't wish on the majority of the population. Therapy has helped me manage better than I imagined.
@@Emilymk97 my Grandpa is 97. He's displayed NPD traits throughout his entire life as our other close family members have also experienced from him. I wouldn't say he has full-on dementia (yet), however after his sodium levels critically dropped a few months ago, even after recovering, his short-term memory is now "selective". If he's anxious over doubting something little such as a newer caretaker being able to help him shower the way in which he considers perfect with just the right amount of privacy, soap, towels, warm water, clean clothes, the right shave, etc., his brain will short-circuit and he'll behave in a very negative, angry, irritable way, start yelling and treating the caretaker as if she's stupid & incapable, call my dad to complain, and then ask all 3 of us 30+ times in 1 morning what time and where his next doctor appt is. When things go according to his perfect expectations he remembers what he's obsessed over. He also spends the majority of his day going around his perfect house only to find problems to complain about and task others with, of which he is usually just trying to make problems when there's not, because bossing others around is his way of maintaining some control of and remaining relevant in his life.
@@tiffanyvalencia8415 that's dementia. The stuff we all know as dementia is end stage. The stage we're navigating with them right now is exhausting.
Dear Dr. Grande, i have been watching for a few weeks and honestly my life has been a blur most of my life being on pscyh meds my whole life (almost) i was never able to percive my behaviors for myself.... i was diagnosed at age 8 with IED and have been through a few other diagnosis but your videos have helped me (since i have been off meds for a bit now) analyze my un medicated behaviors and be able to bring it to my doctor and explain myself better.... you are an amazing youtuber as well... most people on the internet that i have seen have "seemed" very biased even if it a positive bias... being mentally i hate it when people try to act like "oh your just different and thats ok and all that" i enjoy your calm and seeminly unbiased tone... it keeps me calm when trying to experience these emotions..... YOU HELP PEOPLE... dont stop doing this (posted this here too cuz its more recent)
I was diagnosed with IED years ago. I had never really looked into it. Although I have taken many steps to better myself, I must admit I had never really found out what it meant
My anger has since decreased significantly by acknowledging my tendencies, but I cant and could never say I have "full healed", thank you for the video. It's another step of understanding and counteracting this misfortune
Thank you for this. I was diagnosed with this when the DSM IV was around and there wasn't much information about it then. But I'm glad there are vids like this that exist I can share with my friends and therapists
I think it’s real. I had IED growing up
It comes on sometimes but not like before. I will go apeshit once I meet my point of no return. Definitely caused me distress and legal issue. To me it feels like an itch I’d need to scratch by “exploding” and once I go off it’s almost like an orgasm. It’s hard to explain. But that’s as close as I got when talking to a therapist.
Interestingly enough I do have aspd now but I’d say it’s Comorbid. Minor provocation by family or romantic partner, ied episode, SEVERE EMBARRASSMENT follows. I was remanded to anger management for it. It did help but you need a good anger management counselor.
wow this explanation is brilliant it gives me some insight or perspective.. i like the way you described it!
I suspect I have it too, though it’s gotten a lot better in recent years. It sucks.
ASPD - antisocial personality disorder?
I thought ASPD prevents someone from feeling embarassment..? That's not true?
Plot twist: everybody has it. Every, single, person. It just feels good to yell into a pillow sometimes.
Its just some people have enough consideration for the effect this has on others (and themselves) to have invested enough time in introspection and self improvement to finally be able to control it
Thank You Dr. Grande, excellent video. For those watching because you suspect you have IED, GET PROFESSIONAL HELP NOW ! It doesn't go away. Those same people who forgave you before eventually will not (and rightfully so) Don't think you could physically hurt someone ? Think again. IED destroys lives, IF you allow it to. Thinking about Anger Management classes ? I did too. Almost 5 years later I was released from prison.
Anger management classes are meant for people with short tempers. They were never designed for PTSD or IED. It's like putting a band aid on a severed arm or leg.
Watching with interest. My father was a psychopath or maybe a sociopath, he was often extremely angry. In my life I've had episodes of IED and they have ruined my life - employment, friendships etc. Fortunately I've never been physical. But this weird anger has bothered me also because it feels like a legacy from my upbringing and I when it seems I've got it under control then out of the blue it happens again. I'm 60 and have no friends. It's better for me to have no friends because I now have no friends left to lose. The irony is that I think I'm actually quite a nice guy.
Whenever you say "IED", I think pf "Improvised Explosive Device", which seems eerily accurate. I had wondered what to make of it since it appeared to me to be borderline visceral rage or instrumental violence of a psychopath, at a highly dysfunctional level, but without the other diagnostic criteria being met. Except that it can apparently be comorbid with borderline, narcissistic or psychopathic disorder, which is something that, without further quantification, doesn't make logical sense to me. It seems to me causal factors really need to be established better, perhaps with all disorders. Thanks for your discussion, I found it extremely interesting.
Thank you for your videos, Dr. Grande 💐
More informed = less afraid, for me. I’ve decided to go ahead with 26 weeks of dialectical behaviour therapy, finally. We started the intake, yesterday. 🍀
The reason why there are not other DSM disorders for sudden outbursts of things like surprise, happiness, etc. is because these would not significantly impair a person. I've suffered from outbursts of anger and it is absolutely devastating in my life. It has cost me many jobs, numerous friends, and destroyed all of my romantic relationships. As for sudden outbursts of fear or sadness, these are likely encapsulated in other disorders.
Never heard of IED (sounds like an explosive device, no pun intended), so this was interesting. As always, thanks, Dr. G.!
It is. ‘Improvised explosive device’
@Doppelgänger Lol. Might be needed when someone flies off the handle.
(Just some joking for levity, btw)
@@bevilhive Ha, thank you! I was trying to remember if it was the correct acronym, and its meaning, this morning, but my brain didn't want to wake up. Lol
Doppelgänger That also come to my mind😂
@Doppelgänger Nope. Gotta admit I'm clueless here! 😕
Thanks again Dr. Grande for another great video! ❤️
I’m glad to hear your thought re: personal responsibility and explosive anger.
Wow, how much Dr. Grande knows about Mental Health has made me feel a lot more confident to trust the Mental Health field, from this I have gotten to know how much a professionals on this field (Dr. Grande), knows abouth human behavior, all of the "flaws and possible flaws" that people may show. I really appreciate you taking the time to share knowledge about the human behavior. I love how any possible misperception of the Mental Health fades away through your channel. Endless thanks. 💗💘😉👍👏👋
This literally hit me like a nail on the head. Good to know I'm not crazy and can't wait to figure something out to help me
Na fr!! I’m just glad it’s not npd 😭 no offense to anyone suffering with it!!
You are crazy. You act crazy.
Hmm.. Very interesting deep dive into the history of the DSM and the progression with the disorder. Great approach!
I lived most of my life with ied and had no idea this was a disorder . I just thought that this is just the way i am . until one day while watching a TV show .A person was on trial for something bad they did .The defence lawyer used something called intermittent explosive disorder as a defence . Seeing this changed my life .I now realized I had this . Never heard of it before. Then I did research on the disorder, and that helped me to understand it . This helped me to start to try and control it, and recognize the possible triggers . So the moral of this story is that ..Until you know you have a disorder . You can',t ever start to work on controlling or improving on it . So if you know someone that may have this .Make them aware that this is a real disorder and try and seek help . Knowing about this helped me for sure. Hopefully it can help you or someone you know that has this .
Having a label for a problem can sometimes be happy, eg if it comes with treatmentvor understanding. Not having a label or diagnodis doesn't automatically mean don't know there is a problem, and realise you can work oj it.
The comingling of disorders really is the rule, not the exception. Tough to consider all the factors to form useful treatments! Great work helping us understand, Dr. Grande!!
Have you made a video about Oppositional Defiant Disorder? I'm just a transcriptionist but I sometimes feel uneasy when a kid gets diagnosed with this on one interview, like for disability determination. How is it distinguished from say an anxiety disorder or the effects of abuse?
I always want so much to go with you, because you are logical and your views are well thought out. You probably get these type of notes at times, and I have to say I want to call BS on this "disorder." Not everyone who is prone to pitching fits has a disorder. Sometimes people are real a-holes, and this type of thing is just making excuses for bad behavior. I've worked in several abusive places, and it is no picnic. Worst of all the ridiculous flailing that they do is just a complete waste of time and energy.
Love your channel. I thank you for your programs, I enjoy them very much!
Lisa Watson Harris
Also, doctor, apart from being, perhaps, emotionally immature, why might someone feel compelled to smash inanimate objects, such as walls or furniture or anything physical, when angered?
Certain interpretations of MBTI make suggestions about why certain types are prone to smashing or breaking objects, such as having extroverted sensing in the inferior function.
Thank you very much for these informative videos on mental health topics. You're the only mental health professional who produces prolific, high-quality content.
The answer is projection and personification. It should be obvious what I mean with those two words.
@@SteelBlueVision I absolutely love it when people offer "explanations" that don't really explain anything.
I believe when someone has no experience with understanding their emotions and processing them that they can only express their anger through physical means.
@@user-vb6ky1mo9e great answer. How do you know this, from your own musings, or did you learn it from someone?
@@t5396 From observing my partner compared to children/other adults and knowing about healthy emotional development vs unhealthy/lack of emotional development.
Excellent description and outstanding delivery in concept and reasoning explanations combined with referenced educational foundations. Thank you!
Just in my personal in my experiences with others- I see this as a common trait of trauma- relating to Reactive detachment Disorder and cptsd.
I have never seen it independently of other disorders.
I see it related to depression, anxiety and repressed emotions due to shame, usually triggered by some thing that suddenly provokes shame coupled with an overwhelm and not knowing what to do with a flood of shame.
All of the people I have known with this have had childhood trauma and never had a healthy bond with at least one parent. They never learned to self- soothe or how to process painful and negative emotions.
There always is some kind of trigger- even if it is not the one that seemed to set it off. Most likely most of these people repress emotion most of the time.
They carry pain and can have narcissistic characteristics in that often these outbursts occur when they feel insulted in some way that they can not emotionally handle.
They often choose more vulnerable people to explode on, and by doing so show some kind of “restraint” in the outburst by being selective about it.
This was a great topic and very interesting as I have had to deal with many of these individuals- though not diagnosed with this, displayed the symptoms.
Thank you Dr. Grande for your take on this.
I have a question about this as well:
Do you think it could be related also to hormonal surges?
Definitely. I am more likely to have an episode before starting my cycle/ during ovulation phase etc.
True true true..Read me like a book
That's a really interesting comment. I can see a lot of that in my dad. His own father was a terrible bully. There's some really interesting research on the effects of testosterone in the womb, the effect it has on finger length ratio and how it is related to explosive aggression and emotional dysregulation and a greater propensity to have ADHD and ASD. In men in particular, the longer the ring finger is in relation to the index finger, the greater the exposure to testosterone and the greater the explosiveness smd dysregulation. It's been noted in many violent criminals.
You hit the nail on the head, this is the closest thing I have seen to what I experience in my loved one with this diagnosis. Now I have to look into reactive attachment disorder
Excellent video. Thank you. We usually get shunted into anger management classes, when our true problem is situational rage. We don't respond well to moral gaslighting. Especially being laughed at, especially by those who refuse to answer for their detrimental actions to the social/work environment. I gotta take notes on this one..
I suspect it can have a lot of different triggers. My dad has a lot of the traits of it and has been in fights for fairly trivial reasons. He threw a book at my aunt when she was a teen because she was talking to his brother, whom she was dating before marrying him. He did it simply because she was annoying him, talking quietly. Needless to say, his brother, my uncle, didn't take kindly to it. I found out recently too that he also got barred from a bar before I was born. He was meeting my mother's family there and my mother's uncle said she looked nice. My dad exploded and caused a punch up in the bar. Lucky not to be in serious police trouble really.
It's extremely difficult to live with a person or people with IED. They're often standoffish, volatile, with random irrational irritability and rage, anger without any reason. It's selfish and petty. I see most people with this disorder self-absorbed and self-important, somehow with some kind of delusion that people who live with them have the neverending capacity to be patient, resilient and selfless putting up with them. I think they are ingrates a nuisance as a horrendous behaviour recurs. I know, how horrible their attitude can get every time they explode. I just despised meltdown; but I often say I had enough after an encounter but still forgive and forget. Only thing is when you love and care for people who have IED you still continue to be selfless and eternally caring. I hope people with disorders take proper meds. People that suffer from their illness needed a peaceful life too. Thanks very much for your words. As always; excellent.
Thank you doctor grande for your unique and interesting content. I have a suggestion if you do not mind , can you please talk about childhood trauma: different types and impact. Providing signs that can noticed in children suffering and adult who had suffered from such experiences.
My brother has IED. It makes being around him very difficult. Thanks for posting this video.
I just want to kill myself. I have been cursed with IED.
@@sammorrison8042 please hang in there, my best friend of 20 years has repeatedly illustrated behavior that falls in line with this disorder, she is an amazing woman that I love with all my heart, even when shes hurtful. I approach the idea of counseling with her and pray for her constantly. Its not something anyone should feel ashamed about, just please keep fighting. I know its hard, I struggle with disorders too, but we cant give up. sometimes i think by dsm classifications we all have something lol even if they havent figured it out yet. i kinda feel like diagnosis are just boxes that allow us to idenify how we perceive and relate to others and for treatments, and to help us understand how we interact with each other so that we can be aware and make best efforts to cohabitate on this earth together. For some unfortunately it sucks more than others, but every day is a new opportunity and chance to get something right even when you feel like everything is wrong
@@sammorrison8042 you can get help. Try to get help, you have a problem w controlling impulse in your brain but you can change it
@Phillip Sumac same here, I am self-diagnosing myself with IED, but I easily exceed the weekly outburst criteria normally in one day. i'm a 27 year old dead beat who has failed his family, friends, and himself.
@@sammorrison8042 i feeeel this comment so much
Unfortunately I am currently experiencing this with my gf, IED. The outbursts are now more frequent, almost bi-weekly, highly violent towards me and destruction of my things. There is no logical reason for the start of an outburst, and the energy of the violence is in no way in balance with whatever the trigger was. When it starts it escalates quickly and there is no stopping it, no calming the situation down. The best I can do is try and carefully restrain her or just escape from the situation. I've lost count of the number of injuries I have sustained, from having my hair pulled out, deep scratches, many puncture marks from her nails, punches, kicks, trying to push me down the stairs, throwing a knife that punctured my leg. She threw a heavy speaker at my head the other day and it split my ear open.
I love her, but I think I've had enough. She is currently receiving care from a psychologist. I'm not an expert but I guess her mental disorder, her demonic rage is due to past events that may of happened in childhood.
If anyone reading this has experienced this, is there hope? Can it be treated to a point it doesn't happen again? There are so many good points to our relationship but these rages, I know, will be the death of me one day, by her .
Did you leave?
@@janelsealander9604 yes, we split up.
Such an interesting topic! That’s the first time I hear about this disorder. I watched the video twice as there is tremendous amount of information in it. I also tend to enjoy when you connect Neurology and behavior while explaining causation:)
Thank you for the wonderful video Dr. Grande!
Fascinating, doctor.
I once read about a writer who went into therapy, because they were depressed, I believe. Eventually, the doctor convinced them they had an anger outburst problem, and that it happened too often. Every 28 days, as I recall. The writer could not believe it was so often, but there was no denying it. The doctor maped it out on a calendar. What's more, the writer was equally stunned when told their family did not deserve these outbursts. They may have been right about certain mistakes, or wrongs, but no one deserves to have themselves corrected in such a manner.
Based on this video though, I wonder if those outbursts rose to that level or not. But anger is anger. As I learned from the "Attacking Anxiety & Depression" program, anger has its uses, but it costs. Use it wisely, because angry people lose respect.
Hi, Doctor. Thanks again for all the work you put into these videos. I'm curious if you would address (or have addressed) how to class angry outbursts that a patient might have *only* when they know they are unobserved by others. Also, what if these outbursts are self-directed, rather than being hurled at an outside target? What if the patient knows full well why they're angry, but can't seem to find a better solution than raging indirectly at the cause? Best to you.
My father had this and didn’t start to calm down until he moved into his 40’s and beyond. Likely because he was growing older and more tired. His heart was failing as a result since that kind of behavior like all behaviors have an effect on your long term health. He never had remorse though, but he was also a sociopathic narcissist on top of that. They have no guilt or remorse about bad behavior. Basically he was a child abuser. I don’t trust anyone that has an Intermittent Explosive Disorder. There is no one around me that fits that description anymore because I would never be friends with someone like that.
maybe just normal like it is in elephants
DR. Grande is an awesome person to listen to. I really like how he explains co-morbidity and at least has stats to go with what he says way better then most people who just google and say it is the truth. my biggest question is could IED be an underlying condition where aspd and bpd are present?
This is very interesting especially with the mentions of personality disorders, specifically NPD. An ex was diagnosed with IED a few times but looking back on the relationship and how he's been since splitting up, he definitely has NPD. I'm not a doctor or counselor BUT I have done a lot of research on NPD and based on what I went through with him, the pieces started to come together. I know it can be difficult (as you mentioned) to properly diagnosis someone with NPD because of not being 100% honest with what the individual is really thinking.
My father had IED. He never was remorseful or ashamed after his episodes. We never knew what would set off the bomb. We lived on eggshells. For years and years. He would "punish" Mom with silence. Sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. My childhood and teen years were pure hell. His disease ruined my life. I have longed for and feared emotional intimacy all my adult life. Hey, surprise! I'm twice divorced and live alone.
I guess my concern is that a lot of these diagnoses are given without enough info, or given incorrectly, and then it can become a label and an excuse. I have met a lot of mental patients who, when asked their diagnosis, rattle off, "I have this and this and this and this and this and this..." almost as if it's a source of pride. (I have a mood disorder, so I have met fellow patients throughout my life.) Of course that's not always the case, but it's just something I've noticed. So I guess I agree with you, Dr. Grande.
One of my best friends on Tiktok has this disorder and it has cost him many dear friends, and I truly feel terrible for him. It's gotten to the point that multiple people have vendettas against him. He can be doing just fine one moment, then one bad thought can escalate to the point where he starts lashing out at people for no reason, saying terrible things out of proportion to the situation. And there's really no stopping him until he runs out of energy. It really hurts my heart to see him go through what he goes through, and all because he literally can't control his emotions.
I live with someone I’m pretty sure has this. It’s hard to live with him, the entire housebound is on eggshells. He doesn’t feel remorse after. He doesn’t even acknowledge he affects others. It gets him in trouble at work now, too.
I my husband also same . No remorse.
Dr. Grande , Thank you for making this video. It helps me understand myself and I'm hopeful it can help my loved ones understand a small (yet undefining) piece of me too. Take care everyone.
Why did he talk too much about this dis-ease? He could have just say raise epinephrine and lower acetylcholine hence the symptom of this dis-eases will disappear i.e fasting, rhodioa, john's wort, selenium, vitA, etc etc etc only organic ones
@@ThatsWhy-wow what an arrogance you have in your approach. Good luck with that
I'm glad you talk about the DSM and diagnose that are not the best way to look at things.
It does sound metaphorically speaking like a hand grenade going off ..great video AGAIN!
I have an adult (Now over 70) friend I have known since teenage. He is autistic but is moderate in his function. All the obsession, lack of empathy, inability to read other people, clinging to routine elements are there. He has wild and sometimes destructive temper episodes which in children might be called meltdowns.
These episodes are triggered, it seems, by what I see as trivia. To my friend, these are far from frivolous or meaningless events.
After these episodes, he becomes calm after 45 minutes or so but is unable to identify the trigger, the reason, or the feelings of the impending explosion. He sometimes claims not to have a clear memory of the explosion at all, but I wonder if that is him trying to distance himself from actions about which he now feels embarrassed.
yea so small reasons sometimes
Some Aspergers commonly have outbursts when stimuli gets to be too much or they are in a situation beyond what they feel they can control.
I wonder if my parent in their 70's should be diagnosed as Asperger's or on the spectrum. What you describe could be him.
Sounds very much like my dad. I'm fairly sure he has ADHD and high functioning autism. There's some interesting research to about finger length ratio and how it affects temperament. Exposure to high levels of testosterone in the womb affects finger length ratio and levels of anger and aggression, but also linked to autism and ADHD
During the start of the video you said that people with IED tend to explode at people they are in close relationships with, but then you asked at the end of the video why don't they blow up in court in front of the judge...I don't imagine they are in a close relationship with the judge, jury, or lawyers. You kind of answered your own question. Other than that, great video.
No, what he's implying is that there is some sort of impulse control present. They know what good behavior is; so I think he was calling into question just how "impulsive" the outbursts are when they are controlled so easily when it really counts. (It should really count no matter who you're engaged with)
Very interesting approach. I. Can see your point r/o antisocial narcissistic. Initially emotional dysregulation . Very interesting that verbal aggression came back.
This was fascinating, and - my goodness - do I recognize these described outbursts and parameters! Thank you
If it’s controlled rage and used for effect or dominance ... to achieve a goal, probably most often psychopathy then. I watched an attorney turn this technique on and off to his clients advantage...even coming g across the table at the opposing council in a netting room when the judge stepped out for a few mins. 15 mins later this Same attorney was in the elevator laughing it up and having a good time talking about where to eat lunch
SAd to say my child's father is like that...he did that to me the other day.
that disorder sounds like the definition of the expression " Anger Issues " , thought it would be some sub case of Factor 2 psychopathy at first but it turns out that it lacks the" lack of long term goals" and the "criminal components" and the" need for stimulation " criterias ... anyway very enlightning video
Its more like a reflex. I always wanna cry because I feel so bad about how I went so far overboard over usually almost nothing
Jon O'Neal honestly same here
Oh my god. I truly believe I may have inherited this from my family or something very similar, everything makes perfect sense, thank you for making this!
Hello, My best guess is that you were around such behavior for so long as a child, you believe it's in your 'chemical makeup'? An extreme example to consider:
Obese people do NOT 'inherit' their parent's obesity...it's actually the very habits of gluttony we follow, as we're around it for many years. We must take responsibility, if we want help...we cannot go through life 'blaming; our woes, on our family, parents, etc. Good luck, and stay safe.
@@frankpeck1448 yes that is also a factor i believe, i have also done some research and it’s also possible to get it through genes as well, but that is very possible too, thanks!
My partner tells me his Father had the same condition. Could there be a hereditary factor too? My guess, yes
DR GRANDE!
can you PLEASE do a video on blind rage ?
I’m seeing someone who has all the symptoms of IED and would like to see how your suppose to deal with and help someone who may have this.
Thank you 🙏🏼
How did it work out?
Thanks for this analysis, it is very interesting and thorough. I am wondering if you have any experience with any relationship between IED and Bipolar Disorder. My daughter was diagnosed 8 years ago at age 24 with Bipolar Disorder but I am unsure of the genetic relationship as I do not know of anyone in the family who suffers from this disorder. However, I divorced my ex-husband 20 years ago due to his reoccurring outbursts of rage and regular usage of marijuana. I was not aware of IED previously but having recently read about it I suspect that perhaps this was the cause of my ex-husband's behaviour.
This is very interesting. I have ASD and ADHD, and possibly OCD. I’ve had a number of rule-outs requested by psychiatrists for IED. The way you break it down really helps me to understand it. The difficulty with interpreting intent, the pressure build up and release, followed by remorse and embarrassment, this all fits perfectly.
To add to this, I don’t fall into the category of physical violence, with the exception of hitting myself sometimes and occasionally punching walls. A lot of body tensing and sort of meltdown behavior. I’ve wondered if this could be explained by ASD.
Also, while I can’t explain why the situation caused such an extreme outburst of emotion after it happened, I can always give a reason as to what caused it. It never happens for no reason at all. I don’t know if that makes any difference at all.
That's really interesting. My dad was very much like that and I'm fairly sure he has ADHD and ASD
My father has this disorder it is really a curse very extreme he has the type of having 3 attacks in a year which are so extreme that they destroy relationships as a victim you fear for your life. So you are pushed in primordial state in which only flight and fight is possible as a response that is very sad cause the good attributes of this person are poisoned and you always must keep distance.
Could IED possibly be PTSD? My step sister made me think of it in that light. For her entire life we would hear tales of her meltdowns and explosions. She is the same age as my children so we didn’t live with my dad at the same time. When she turned 14 it went into overdrive with really extreme behavior, and by the second or third time she was ‘arrested ‘ for harming herself we learned my dad had been sexually abusing her since she was 4. He’s in prison for the rest of his life, but that doesn’t do her much good. I’m just wondering if many cases of IED could be reaction to conditions rather than a disorder
How awful.
I know cluster b personality disorders are being described more often as forms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder... Dr. Sam Vaknin - I think I'm spelling that right - seems to be a good source for this and he's searchable right here in UA-cam.🖖
I think so!
Dr. Grande, this video seemed like it could also encompass misophonia, what are your thoughts on that?
Is this connected in anyway with ADHD which I was diagnosed as an older adult. I’ve had very few anger outbursts but betrayal and lying to me sometimes brings it on. I have experienced this also when a corporate organization does not come through like 3 times in a row . I went off on Amazon Bc 3 x in a row they did not deliver my cases of water and could not explain what went wrong. There is never any physical acting out at all it is all verbal. I also have a great amount of emotional stress due to a very toxic family background and I’ve gone no contact from them years ago. Thank you Dr Grande . @Dr. Todd Grande. Pls respond.
That's a loaded question :-) It could of roots in your Executive Function but it seems like you're hinting that it might also be rooted to your childhood. We all can be impatient when there's a mix up 3 dang times but it's much easier to be understanding when we are given the transparency to the "why" of situations. I too had a toxic childhood and have had to go no-contact with a few people that have kept their destructive addictions, boundaries and cycles. If Dr. Grande doesn't see your comment you could start by reading/Kindle/Audiable topics such as Emotional Regulation, Executive Function, Adult Attachment Theory, and sign up for Amazon Delivery Notifications because you still deserve accurate delivery information every single time :-)
Informative as always. Would you please consider doing a video regarding a Cluster B with the onset of dementia? In my own observation I've noticed a large percentage of the "boomer" population with a Cluster B personality disorder both diagnosed and undiagnosed. With that I have also noticed said "boomers" are developing dementia within their old age. I've heard various discussions regarding Cluster B's and dementia, however, I'd really like to hear your take on it.
I experienced a moment of explosive rage when I was ten years old. I destroyed the furniture my Grandmother’s deadbeat Tenant left behind in the basement of her house. I clearly remember the irrational anger and incredible pleasure when I did it. My Grandmother was in total shock. I think I had a kind of brake down. In my mid 40s, I had a break through during therapy. I figured out what happened to me at that age and why my Grandmother’s house might have triggered the anger. The mind is an incredibly sensitive organ, that will suppress things in order to survive. But in my case , it came out in that moment of insanity.
"only 20% will seek help for the ANGER"; THAT NAILED IT. From workmates to neighbours to long time social friends, I've never looked at drug, alcohol, and STUPID behavior and choices to be the end all. There's something buried deeper. Sometimes I or my co=workers can see it, sometimes we can't.
Dr Grande, what would you recommend to people with this disorder.
Have you found anything that helps?
@@armanbadikyan3811 Take up running
@@armanbadikyan3811 I have heard that meditation helps
Wow many family members were what my sister & I call “ human ticking Time Bomb’ father., Grandparent-_ mom/sibs
I have it I found martial arts really helped. And my drumming group.
I literally feel like I have this. I’m more of the violent type, it literally got me a felony assault on a police officer charge. I didn’t come to until I was in the holding tank. It’s so bizarre because once it dissipates you are completely different. I know right from wrong, but in that moment I’m ready to fight anyone and everyone. It’s almost like I get a high from it.
Thanks for great video Dr. Grande. You always have great topics.🙏Stay safe out there.
I do agree that it can be so much easier to diagnose a personality disorder and fall back on that as an excuse rather than holding the person responsible for their actions. As there are less and less consequences for actions and more reliance on diagnoses of mental health disorders I would expect to see more people use a personality disorder as an excuse for inexcusable behavior. Yet, placed in certain environments, such as at a trial or incarcerated you see a conformity to social norms because of consequences when in normal life no change to societal norms is seen. Their inexcusable behavior is given a pass because they have an excuse - a handy blank pass of a personality disorder. I do believe that some do have diagnosable disorders, but much fewer than are proclaimed. Just my thoughts.
Yes. Like a lot of people, I find it easy to hold my temper in at work. But at home, it's harder. Though not at the level described in this video, outbursts do happen sometimes. No property damage, or assaults. Just being a jerk at times.
@@fritzidler9871 I think the greatest growth appears not when one acts appropriately because of external sanctions like fear of loss of a job, fear of incarceration, fear of losing friends or contacts but when internal sanctions are in place. But, in order to form internal sanctions (or ethics) the first place to start is with external sanctions. And, it seems as though those external sanctions (or regulators) are being tossed out. Again, just my thoughts and observances. You seem to recognize this and seem to be aware of this. That's a good thing! Life is about learning about yourself all through your lifespan and just improving. I salute you for your awareness. All we can do is strive to be a better person each day.
Thank you for covering this. I know someone who has a severe case of this, and I'd never heard of it before.
I just found out that I have IED. Thank you for this video
This is 100% my father. Wow. Thank you, my childhood makes more sense now.
Dr. Grande, I am fascinated with your perfectly measured way of speaking.ni have never been able to be aware enough ( i think that’s the reason) to keep it there. Have you always spoken in such a perfectly tempered way or did you teach yourself too? I wish I could control the emotion my voice conveys sometimes.
I feel it’s narcissism especially if they can hold it in court. They just believe they can scream and rage at a person who they deem lower or inferior to them. It’s usually a spouse or someone who has less money or rights or both.
I fit the criteria, I just want to get help! I am tired of the explosion of anger, I just want to control the anger that comes out sometimes for stupid reason. I've damaged property and almost hurt a person very badly. I have anxiety, ADHD and depression.
I've worked in an institution for people with down-syndrome. When it comes to extremes, I'm doctor Mengele. How do things look under extreme conditions? Interesting! Besides different severity there are different characters. With one guy communication was with role-play. He was police officer. And I had to curse at him and complain about the situation. This made him engaged and active. Steerable. If we didn't create the explosive situation, he would implode. I'm not a theatrical guy and not aggressive or manipulative. So that was weird. More uncomfortable were the interactions with more impulsive types. There was a ward for dangerous cases. But in general one can expect the unexpected. There is a directness for which I am way too cerebral. These people can also get frustrated. Understandably so. Others are barely conscious. Yet there is an enormous impulsive energy in them. One ran with his head through a wall when he had a feeling he had to take a shit. Problematic, daily. I see people in general in the light of this work experience. From mental stagnation sets of behaviours emerge. These can be found outside of this institution. With a more pleasant appearance. Explosive, frustrated, resentful as a lifestyle, triggered. I've seen it all in bare forms. There is no talking around it there. In general I think there is always a form of frustration behind explosion. Psychologists are often lost in narratives, words. What people think of themselves. They should work with people who do not think much at all. I can't imagine my psychologists having a satisfying job in such an institution. It's a direct struggle with functional communication.
Is this disorder to be distinguished from 'occasional bad temper disorder', 'sometimes rude disorder' and 'mildly irritable disorder'
Hey! We live in the same town! 😂
🤣🤣🤣
What about time of the month meltdowns ? Is that a seperate disorder? 🤔
@@danielwiltshire8131
🤣🤣🤣 it's called pms or pmds
🤣🤣🤣
@@realbeautyness25 it needs a new title imo, an upgrade at least.🤔
it can last 1 wk a month, 3 months a year , 2 1/2 years a decade. That's 12 1/2 years a life time😀😀😀 🤣🤣
I have IED and dystymia. They're pretty interlocked with each other, I know when I'm becoming extremely depressed I also become more hostile, I think the depression hides a lot of my anger, because when I'm depressed I hide in my room and dissassociate from the outside world, but I become irritable and more confrontational with people I trust, my mom and grandma. I definitely see my anger and stress is mechanical, I often call it an emotional battery. When that battery is almost empty, I lose my ability to cope. The hardest thing to regulate is the misinterpretations. I don't read other people well and will often be defesnsive. It's really hard not to. I can also be very blunt and I don't do very well with passive langauge. I don't always know what people are asking of me and get confused. I have really low confidence in my ablility to maintain relationships, and currently I'm refusing to date because I see myself as innately undesirable and unworthy. Not the most healhy perspective but I've seen so many unhealthy and toxic relationships that it feels like the only option. Which is ironic because I have a moral objectivity to anything being "innate," some cognitive dissonce I'm going to ignore there.
The hardest part of IED beyond the misinterpetations is probably the name. I really dislike the "explosive" simply because I don't think the majority of people know what intermittent means, and even if they do the word explosive has a particular pop to it (no pun intended) that is the main emphasis. That and the way intermittent explosive disorder is portrayed in movies and other mediakind of reflect this, like in Jolt where it was just "explosive disorder". Though I haven't met another person with IED so I feel like that might be another factor of cognitive dissonce. Maybe I am that mad.
This sounds like my father. If someone wants to have a heart to heart conversation or talk about something serious, is that threatening? Is there any productive way for someone to go about that? All I have learned is to leave him alone.
Thank you… seriously thank you sir, you have no idea you have helped me by making this video
This only occurs to me when I get responded in a sarcastic/condescending matter. Other than that Im fine, Im just tired of being treated if I was dumb constantly. Through lots of bullying even to this day. May be related to autism/aspergers. I stopped going outside because everytime I interact with someone I always get a sarcastic remark thrown in my way
Sounds a tiny bit paranoid but im not a therapist. What are the chances that every time to speak to someone, they say something sarcastic to trigger you? Maybe it’s projection? Self sabotage? Good luck
I don't get angry easily but at times [in my 25 years of work life- 4 times ] I manifested IED.....when my boss do not treat properly. what do I have to do
My significant other fits the first description of IED and recently had an outburst that became physical. Although I never took note to log the instances, there have been many times over the last couple of years that I've become uncomfortable and worrisome because his angry reaction was inequivalent to the situation that caused it. The recent physical outburst has brought on a legal issues and a rift between us. We want to work it out and I want to help him find help so we can stay together and I'm not in danger by staying in the relationship. However, I don't think he honestly believes he has an anger issue. Similar to someone with substance abuse, the individual has to accept their condition before they can accept treatment. How do I support him in a way that he gets the treatment he needs and not come off as judging or pushy since this is also one of my conditions for me to stay in the relationship? I'm also open to hearing about any of your experiences with IED yourself or as someone nearby that is affected. Any advice helps. Thank you.
My ex had this and I believe he was a narcissistic sociopath. It only gets worse. For the safety of me and my kids I had to get away. I commented bc u sound just like me years ago when he got out of jail and I saw this diagnosis on his paperwork which he was hiding from me.
I E D, I do understand how this Diagnosis can be confused with some more pervasive disorders,(like cluster B) and not be given it’s proper treatment. Thanks
Thank you, Doctor. What does it say about narcissism and borderline, if not the people who have these disorders, that they are attracted to people with traits from these disorders?
I can see how someone who grew up around people with borderline or narcissistic traits would in some sense feel comfortable around people who have those traits, but I am curious about what kind research literature there might be on this situation.
I think codependency might have something to do with it, at least it did in my own personal experience.
I know someone who I think has IED as they fit the criteria exactly. They don't fit narcissisism, antisocial personality disorders or borderline. They could fit borderline but I don't think so as they don't have the other criteria. They are very kind and genuine & very sad & remorseful after anger outburst. They are a very generous & caring person. Maybe CPTSD
@@rayw9712 not alive any more 😓
My mother has been this way my whole life, in fact before I was born, according to my dad, she was absolutely worse. She stabbed him in the leg with a crochet hook once, and tried to throw boiling water on him, not premeditated but reactively. Shes constantly high strung and almost compulsively actively looking around the house for something to yell about, even if it's a crumb or piece of leaf on the floor, and then blows up the situation and uses it as a catalyst to bring up any and everything else from ones past, present and future. She also will create her own meanings to things one says and believe her interpretation is the correct one, even if you call it out and tell her she's twisting your words and context, she will never believe you, only what she thinks is real. She's in her 50s now and as steadfast as ever, is still this way, becomes extremely defensive and blows up if you even hint to her she might want to see someone. In all of her outbursts there is a constant undertone of " everyone else is wrong and stupid, im the only one who thinks right and im always justified " this is an everyday, almost all day intermittent experience. Sometimes her tirades can last an hour with constant comments outloud about how someone is stupid or lazy for leaving a dish in the sink (even if it was just then placed there with the intent to wash it after a soak) or how she's the only one who does things the right way, lots of abusive talk about my fathers weight calling him too fat, lazy, or a drunkard ( he is def not a drunk ) any opportunity she gets to make a mean comment she compulsively has to say it, even if everyone is having a very stressless day, she can make a degrading comment to someone that gets her own self worked up and then all the rest of the day is having to deal with her shit talking and high horsing. I have never met ANYONE like my mother and im determined to understand wtf us wrong with her. Im in my 30s and she has been this way since before I was alive. Do you guys think she's got this IED thing?? I've been researching for years and can't peg her on the other disorders, this is probably the closest ive found so far though.
One of the best ways to narrow it down is remorse. If she has no remorse for her actions, you can rest assured you are dealing with a full blown narcissist or sociopath. Their behavior does change with age, IT GETS WORSE. edit I should have said Narcissist. Sociopaths are calm, cool and devious. Narcissist's are notorious for their outburst. One is bad as the other, neither has a conscience and both are capable of pure evil. I can offer you some wise advice from experience. Remove her from your life as much as possible but do that with tact and diplomacy, not anger. Excuses like "I'm really busy" Anger will ignite a war with her. Narcissists will gladly dedicate their life to destroying yours. Don't waste one second thinking she will ever change or try to get help. With narcissists, that only happens under a court order and they are also well known for manipulating their therapist, successfully. This is coming from years of experience having a family member that was exactly like that. The day I walked away forever turned out to be one of the smartest things i ever did. That was over 5 years ago and to this day I still have to raise my hand and shake my head No, i dont even want to hear it from other family members who chose to maintain the relationship.
Thank you for this Dr Grande. Insight and helpful to consider this in conjunction with personality disorders.
Well the narc in my life demonstrates IED without the remorse. He can smile within minutes of the explosion, both verbal or physical. He looks well pleased with himself. Feels narc to me. I do think he uses the rage explosion as a defense when people ask him or bring up something he doesn't want to deal with.
Yeah that's not IED then.
That's intentional anger, different from this one.
@@msg472 not sure it's intentional. Not sure containing it or the physical shoves are in his control when he is raging. It isn't fake rage. It is enough to damage me.
I want to say that is called "narcissistic rage " and it refers to how they act when their ego is threatened.
Like children throwing a tantrum when they don't want to do something
Hi Doc,
I' m a quite emotional person and when I was angry I tend to yell or at least raise my voice. But the problem is - sometimes I "went over the bar" & start to do maniacal laugh & creepy grin. while throwing stuffs at someone or any aggressive action such as shaking their body (tho I never hit). Soon after I usually regretted my action & experienced quite a deep sadness. Do I have mental disorder?
I do believe my dad had this. My mom was more covert but so sadistic and manipulative. My dad only gave me 2 spankings my whole life but his anger was so scary , he would turn red in the face and drive like a maniac and he would be so obnoxious it was insane. Literally locking myself in the bathroom and shaking , to this day if I have visions of his anger ( flashbacks ) I get very uneasy. Not trying to sound dramatic but even this subject kind of triggered me. Great video, thank you dr. Grande
maybe it has a puropose so some survive bettar with this , like, willing to fight for food and females and protect offspring , elephants do this
i understand the trauma you got from your experience.
A psychiatrist is telling me that my 16-year-old child has this disorder.Thank you for the information ❤️
What about a person who has anger and rage that has not been provoked? My husband of 25 years has all nine traits of narcissistic personality disorder. Now I just am learning about this. My husband reacted in a rage and held a knife to my neck when I told him I loved him on our 16th anniversary. Provoked? He also put me in a chokehold up against the wall after I asked him to sit next to me on the couch. Please, what are your thoughts on this!
Hi from Oklahoma ... leave. Now.
wondering if your a troll cos nothing on your account to prove otherwise
@@orangestoneface Can say nothing about original poster, but have had a couple of times been physically attacked, once gave a gift, had it thrown into my face while driving a car.
Very well detailed video. I enjoy your videos so much. 🙌
Growing up I was diagnosed with (ADHD) between Kendergarden and 1st grade. Which gave me a bit of a learning disability. It takes me longer to grasp things than it does for most people. So my parents put me on "Phocolen" (Sorry for spelling). It was helpful at the beginning I was calmed down a lot focused in school did better. But come around Jr High (6th, 7th, and 8th grade) I was suspended at least once in those grades for fighting and threatening. But with the fights as I look back on, I do see now each one was more aggressive. 8th grade being the worst. A kid name Sean told another kid to throw flour on me during lunch break. I was minding my own business when all the sudden powder was poured onto my head and covered me. I noticed Sean and his friends pointing and laughing at me. So I walked up to him and started yelling getting up in his face. Sean punch me in the face, everything went silent for a moment then I pushed him to the ground got on top of him and started strangling him. A teacher tried pulling me off him but didn't work. 2 more teachers came and retrained me. After 8th grade was over I feel into a depression faze, spent the whole summer locked in my room playing video games never talked to anyone. Freshman year came I was still depressed although there was a lot of changes to get used to. Well I ended up having a mental breakdown at school I was sick of people bullying me, tired of being locked in my room, and tired of going to therapy thinking that something is wrong with me. The school told my parents I had to be emitted to a hospital or I wasn't allowed back to school. So I spent a week there, even though it was supposed to be only three days I was diagnosed with (IED). I came back out feeling better. But I still felt as I had these road blocks that kept coming one after another. What was I gonna do? I turned to drugs... I was smoking cigarettes everyday. Then Sophomore year came and I got into heavier drugs. I was smoking weed, taking Acid, Shoots, all the way to cocaine. Hid all of it from my parents. Then I started getting into fights with them. Yelling fights everything. I finally stopped taking drugs and the ones that help me threw school. Everytime I took my medicine I would get angry more frequently no matter what. I even started to get angry with my little sister's voice. Sometimes I wished she just never talked. Then Junior year of high school I chilled out a lot but I had the attitude of "I didn't care." The last three days of Junior year I was sent to the principals office. A girl named Klair started tell everyone that I was going to shoot up the school. I wasn't gonna let her say that about me. So those last three days I got up yelled at her in her face everytime would say anything. So I spit in her face and tell her the that shes luck the teacher is here. Senior My father and I aren't seeing eye to eye getting into arguments. He has explosive outburst too. But he makes it seem like I'm causing trouble that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Anyway I don't know what to do I'm troubled with this disorder but I know I'm not alone in this. But Hopefully I can get threw it. Do you have any suggestions?
I feel you, I was bullied from kindergarten, neglected by teachers there and on to school (where one year nobody could touch me or talk to me as my classmates' rule), my father was drunk all the time and mother was working, so I saw her rarely, I have massive verbal and physical agression problems, if I was a man I'd probably ended up with broken bones or dead as I'm fast ready to fight, but survival mode is still working, so I avoid doing that with men as I wanna live for longer, I'm prone to alcogolism, but glad I'm shy enough to not fall into it, when I was a teen and lived with my parents I got into fights with mom constantly, she was severly abused as a child, so she has own problems and it just clicks when we both are so, fights both verbal for hours and physical, soetimes with broken objects in the result, and my broken nose, I can't stand her voice most of the time, she comes home, I hear her away, and already is so angry that she's there. I'm calmer now as I'm not exposed to that environment and happy that my husband is as calm as he is, so my anger doesn't result in fights most of the time. That's all without describing that I'm both outgoing, but extremely socially anxious because of so many rejections, I think I have adhd and borderline, I don't think IED is a separate thing. My suggestion is get professional help if you can, it's obvious, but maybe you'll get a correct answer on what you "have" which will lead to actually helpful medications. From what you can do alone is spend ore time analyzing what's happening and what causes this, it helped me a lot, I'm still far from what society calls a norm, but I'm not who I was as a teen.
@@melodi996 there seems to be a pattern because I was also bullied a lot and had to end up defending myself lots of times, I've always been into meditation and spiritual bs so maybe that helped a bit? My house environment wasn't really bad apart from a few encounters you can count with one hand. I do remember my rage episodes starting around teenagehood, always triggered either by physical aggression or unfair bs (people who are narcissistic, a-holes and all that)
Seems to be common that all of us who turn into animals were exposed to high amounts of violence from society.
You know what this sounds like? Tourette's Syndrome. Maybe its related somehow like the way sleep paralysis s related to narcolepsy. They're not the same, but the brain triggers are in the same area of the brain. Interesting new subject! Thank you, Dr Grande! 🌹👍
I've had the IED diagnosis, comorbid with Asperger's, and Tourette's was ruled out. Although I think it's possible that it's a mix of the Asperger's and something like CPTSD showing up as occasional (it used to be quite frequent) "hulkouts".
I have tourettes along with ADHD and Bipolar (autistic too lol) and when I am dysregulated and have anger attacks I have very little control of what I say and do. The responsibility is on me to stay aware of the sensory and emotional triggers for my outbursts, but in the midst of an attack I can bust my fist through walls, smash any glass in sight, yell and scream and foam at the mouth. My body will quite literally quake. These experiences are followed by remorse, exhaustion, and confusion. I am very careful not to be in public when I am aware I am ramped, which is most difficult when I am in the midst of a bipolar episode. One time while I was hypomanic I had to bail on my bike because a pedestrian walked straight into the middle of the road while I had a green light, and he just stood frozen like a doe when he saw me, so I toppled myself towards the sidewalk so I didn't hit him. I went on a wild rant that lasted minutes, foaming and screaming in his face, calling him names, pointing clasped hands in his face. My rage was so bad he was probably fearing for his wellbeing, which was very ironic considering the triggering circumstances 🥺😓
Funny you should mention that. I have tourettes and ocd and I have tons of rage attacks (I just smashed a board off my kitchen sink while screaming profanities and threats at said board for a solid ten or so minutes for example.). It wouldn't surprise me if there was a link considering how prevalent anger issues are in people with tourettes.
which can be cured with high doses of magnesium and niacin.
I am going to be open and honest. I was diagnosed with IED at age 18, about a month into my first semester of college. I didn't have a particularly bad childhood although losing my dad at age 14 from cancer was pretty hard and I don't think I had adequate chance to grieve but never was I ever abused or mistreated in any way. I had symptoms of depression and anxiety prior but suddenly I was in a full blown rage. I ended up unwillingly being taken to the hospital and prescribed an antidepressant and was allowed to go back to school. However a week later I had to leave as things were out of control. Believe me when I say I tried everything. So many meds so much therapy and on and on. Meds often just made me sleepy and didn't help. It was like I felt an anxiety or me being upset filling up but it would happen fast like in a few minutes. Soon the balloon would burst and off I would go. People around me didn't understand and things were very bad throughout my 20's even into my 30's. I am serious when I say I dealt with this for so many years being in and out of the hospital and trying to find something that would work. Finally finding meds that work helped as well as knowing warning signs and having someone to reach out to when I feel I am headed in the wrong direction. This is KEY for me, Also make sure the person diagnosed is medically evaluated and not just psychiatrically. A few years ago I was diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea and was found to stop breathing upwards of 30 times every hour in my sleep for about 5 to 10 seconds each instance. A CPAP machine which keeps my airway open allows me to get significantly better sleep. Also monitoring the depression and anxiety components are key. Knowing your red flags and knowing things are headed the wrong way. Sometimes people may shrug it off and treat things like you are fine but you have to be persistent and say no I am a 9 on a 10 point scale and this is bad. In the last 5 or so years I have not been in the hospital at all and outbursts were very minor and usually controlled (I would stop the car and just scream and scream and let it all out-otherwise I would feel myself turning reckless and that is not something I want to happen behind the wheel.) For me loud noises can trigger me in the wrong direction particularly if you don't know they are coming (such as a fire alarm going off or something of that sort) Now at 47 I am proud to say I made it all the way though college then a masters program for 3 more years. Things weren't great then but I was at that point well enough to go to school and manage the episodes. As I say now my "episodes" are limited to things I feel like I need to do to release the tension like screams or banging my pillow into the bed until I wear myself out. Often a quick sprint up the road (safely) just to wear yourself out enough for it to pass helps. That is the key --make yourself too tired to continue the episode. What I try to do now is talk to kids who are having symptoms of depression and anxiety and anything that in their mind doesn't seem right that there is NO SHAME in reaching out and telling someone something doesn't seem right and to be insistent that it really feels like a building of tension that is going to explode and to tell people and insist that it is serious at this point,. I would love to talk to anyone who has any questions about it. It is tough but not a lifetime sentence to misery. Doctors told me I would never be able to go to college or do anything and they told my mom I would pretty much need constant monitoring. I didn't listen and that is one time I was so glad I was defiant and used my anger very appropriately.
Let me also say one more thing. It isn't "just a temper tantrum" or "just an angry outburst" It recurs and sometimes there isn't an apparent reason to the outside world. It is usually something you think is real inside your head that in reality isn't. For me it was feeling like nobody could ever like me and then seeing that play out by (for example) sitting at a table and have nobody sit with me or invite me over to theirs. Sort of an irrational reaffirmation.
Intermittent love outburst disorder in the center of Germany today in response to this video 💗 Love debates and disagreements among clinicians. mmmmhhh.🙂 Thank you so much!
It's like fission. The annoyance is there... Then the thoughts of the inconsiderateness of the other person... Then sadness that they made you angry... Then angry because you're affected, but THEY seem to not be affected... Then angry because you're angry.... And anger at their seeming refusal to acknowledge what started it. Why should I feel bad because of your inconsiderateness? Then anger because of that? Like a loop.. Upset, sad for the anger, then angry for the sad.
My son just turned 13. He's on the austism spectrum, and it was confirmed he is XYY. He's been hospitalized 3 times. The last two times was due to potentially violent situations. His primary issues dealing with life stem from his explosive anger issues. He always sees himself as a Martyr. He has also expressed suicidal ideation. We're trying to help him, but our experience working with mental health professionals has been extremely demoralizing. It just seems like nobody cares what happens to kids when it comes to mental health. He's never been abused, and is loved and encouraged by both myself and his mother. We've tried multiple therapists, and medications, but the results have always been short term at best. If anyone has any suggestions they would be appreciated. Both his mother and I are feeling pretty hopeless right now, and I'm afraid for my child.