Yes, my adopted daughter made mincemeat out of all the therapist, so manipulative. She throw out something as a distraction and we'd spend our whole hour talking about nonsense, things that actually didn't happen. Nothing would be accomplished. She would walk out laughing, proud of herself. Everyone always believed her. They never checked the facts, only took her at face value. No consequences mattered to her. She had massive trauma before we adopted her. They never saw her coming. She is an adult now but childhood was hell. There wasn't a home that could handle her. Everybody gave up on her and told me to also. They were trying to convince us to give her to cps but I refused. Too dangerous to stay in my home but I held on to my rights barely by a thread. Now as an adult she is doing good. She spent her childhood trying to get away from me. I spent it trying to hold on. Now she realizes that I was the only one that ever cared and has no idea why she did what she did. All the time I thought she was not learning and taking anything in of my morals in my values. Turns out she was storing it for later use. I made a difference after all. They can change a bit. She's not perfect but she can live in society and follow the rules. That's not something she could do before.
Better to have things work out for the best. You sound like such a strong person. Our daughter was a loving child and my best friend until about 25, when she started drinking. She fell and hit her head, bleeding to death last summer. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but I’m not so sure. Well done you, though. Maybe you’ll write a book?
@@lisaschuster9187 A lot of people say that I should write a book but I'm not a writer and really my mind is mush from the stress. I can't think of anything until somebody actually asks me a question and then it comes flooding back in. I'm sure it's from the stress of it but I'm just glad that it's all over. You learn a lot about yourself and if you have a backbone when you go through something like this. I'm more someone on the quiet side that doesn't like to rock the boat. Ha ha ha I remember thinking crap, I'm gonna have to stand up and say something because they're not getting it. I had to psych myself up to speak up but it was either that or lose my child and I wasn't about to lose my child. Sure, I like looking crazy. LOL I grew a backbone and a voice. It was quite the experience. I would wish that on my worst enemy. I noticed the pattern that no matter what I said nobody would hear me. It was really weird. I countered that by getting other people to speak for me instead. For example, I took my daughter to a private psychiatrist and had an evaluation even though he wasn't on her state insurance. I use that to help hold them accountable to help my child. The only thing that kept my sanity was finding humour in what I was going through at the time. I'm an expert at holding on when there is no hope. This all tells me you need to follow your gut instinct because, in the end, everybody else was wrong about my child and I was right. So sorry to hear about your daughter. There's nothing you can say to make it any easier unfortunately. Hugs to you. I think that statement sounds very dismissive of your pain. Your gut is right about that.
I was advised by one of my psychiatrist supervisors (I'm a medical student) not to adopt children because he's seen too many kids with a family history of serious mental illnesses who go on to develop these illnesses and even the best adoptive parents have a really difficult time with managing some of these kids. I definitely don't share his attitude though and I think that's a really sad approach to take. Those kids have no parents and illnesses due to no fault of their own and they deserve a loving home like any other child. But it really changed the way that I think about people who choose to adopt. I'm still deciding whether I want to adopt a child myself in the future, but those who do so have my greatest admiration, you are angels on earth. Especially people who choose to take on a child who is known to have behavioural issues, that is the most selfless action anybody could ever take. Thank you!
@@monkiram The behaviours of the children are really tough. Honestly it was beyond anything I could imagine. I always figured that if there was no payoff and we were consistent in our discipline they would eventually get it and the behaviours would alter. Ha ha ha NO! That is the farthest thing from the truth. That's how normal kids work but when you have kids with mental health issues it's a hole different ballpark. What sad is your struggling to help your child but when you go through this as an adoptive parent, the mental health system looks at you as part of the problem. I feel very victimized Just from how I was treated, no respect at times. They're interpretation of me was that I was crazy because they didn't see the problem, my daughter was very good at hiding it at least at first with everyone. She couldn't hide it forever so the trick was just to hold on long enough before they started to see the behaviours. This what is really hard about this whole process isn't just what we went through it's what it did to my son. I really regret that part. We were so busy putting out fires that we didn't have the time to devote to him that I would have liked for his childhood. It's a good thing to consider before you jump into it. If you have a child that's high needs and high behaviours, what is that gonna do to your kids? I was very blessed to have a large support system so whenever my daughter had dark moods and I had to call the police I made sure that my son was with his grandma or aunt. I still feel terrible about it but at least I did the best I could. Luckily for me, it wasn't my son that she had issues with. She had mother figure issues so I was her target or anyone that was on a position to direct her or tell her no. If you have kids it's something to consider. I never looked at it from this angle but I should have considered it more. We really went in blind because I didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family so all of the narcissistic patterns that she picked up in her behaviours from the bio family were all new to me. There was definitely a learning curve and these kids are vicious with their accusations and lies. For example, if I didn't let her go out and play when she got home from school but made her do her homeworkfirst, she would pay us back. Her motto was I will make your life a living Hell and she actually could do it. In her warped mind we deserved it. False allegations to cps and other adults were her go to response because very few people ever check their facts. She would take pleasure in our discomfort of having to handle a difficult situation that she created. I remember when she was in 5th grade she had to stay in for lunch because she got in trouble. Well I kept thinking why are you so proud of this? She did it on purpose. The way she was telling it to me it seemed like a badge of honor. She said think about it mom, now the teacher has to stay in during her lunch hour and take care of me. I made it as difficult as possible so I ruined her lunch. She was proud of herself. It was pay back for something the teacher did. These kids think and draw conclusions differently. That was the biggest learning curve. I remember the psychiatrist telling me that the side who loves me that I thought was my daughter and who I was fighting for didn't exist, that was her manipulating me. The dark side was the real her. That hurt. That means the daughter I thought I knew and loved and bonded too really didn't exist? No I could not believe that. I definitely saw 2 sides of her. Her 5th grade teacher thought her personality was splitting and I definitely saw that split. There was one side that loved me and one side that would possibly kill me. There was a time when it was too dangerous for me to be alone with her. Her mind would blur possibly from the meds she was on and she would talk to me like I was her bio mom who abused her who she was angry with. As she got older, she would get more stable with her personality. I've not seen a dark side and quite some time. I'm still a little afraid of her, I'll be honest because I don't know if it ever went away. Hormones are what keeps her steady. I think it's htc or something like that. Women take it for weight loss. All the moods are gone as long as she takes it. I've been trying to get her to a nature path to have it more fully checked out but she's very cautious on who she goes to and sees, not trusting. I have to say I think the psychiatrist was wrong. My daughter does exist. They're not always right. There is a side of her that is bonded to me. I always knew In the end I'd pull her out of it because she had a soft loving side. Had a side that was loving and nurturing. At the age of 5 she was taking care of a brother and sister in diapers on the streets. She was the mother of them and of her mom in a weird reverse relationship. Her mom was an adict and gone for days at a time. That's what I drew upon, her nurturing side that I knew was there. Can you imagine going from a life like that where you were in charge and can do whatever you want to having to be a child in a home. She was never a child. She had a hip little game girl like attitude. A wild child that was not verbally directed. They really need to do a better job at evaluating these kids initially. Maybe that would of helped.
My youngest brother is a psychopath. He exhibited all 11 traits, including “poor parents” who ignored his problems because they did not want people to “find out.” As my brother got older, his crimes got more heinous, made the nationwide news, and my parents isolated themselves from the world. If you think sweeping your child’s psychological problems under the rug will save your reputation, think again.
BED WETTER;( cousin Windy).. plus sibling Kinsey Christopher were 2 Trouble Brewers! Sadly their mother thought they were " cute". Cruelty to Animals+kids
Amen, I have a sister like this. It’s blowing up, literally the most spoiled child who believes they had the worst life. Somebody who thinks manipulating ppl rates ur level of intelligence. Yes. May God serve her justice for everything. In due time. God willing they get what’s coming to them
Having a parent who is inconsistent is also very abusive. Never knowing how your parent will be from day to day. My mother was like that. She would be loving one day and the next become a raving lunatic.. She even threatened to kill us. We were often terrified of our mother. She was also a prescription drug addict, which no doubt added to the problem. My father was a cold man who was more interested in advancing his career and his own self image than what was happening to his children. I never felt "safe" anywhere, not even in my own home. I was extremely insecure in school, as well, was fearful of other children and cried a lot. I managed to grow past all this and put my life together. Now I've been married for many years and have children and grandchildren. I see myself as a fortunate survivor. My sister was not. She committed suicide at 43.
it's truly awful. unfortunately, society has been stuck in a loop, repeating history and the mistakes of their own parents, somehow having the same harmful affects on their children as they experienced themselves. in their effort to avoid being like their parents, if they ever succeeded at becoming the polar opposite at all, they overcompensate and still, unintentionally, distance themselves. my mom began victimising herself in the eyes of my brothers and i the moment we were born. she made every single one of us feel responsible for her in one way or another. my older brother had it the worst, as he was made to look after us as a kid, and she put the burden of parenting and supervising us on him. meanwhile, with us younger two, she would guilt trip us into submission and obedience constantly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. she had no shame about it, and remembering back to it made me realise how little she valued our judgement; like, she knew she'd disarmed us, or that she had never taught us any defence against her methods, and so she wasn't masking. when i gained my freedom of mind, and started to speak it, she would attempt her old tricks just as shamelessly, and then double down on trying to guilt me by making me feel like the bad guy for not retreating from something i'm going through and working on, just because she didn't want to take any accountability. it's what she always complains about with her parents too, that they never accepted it when she would regularly recall the past at family events, and have violent outbursts that left my brothers and cousins and i crying because it upset us, or because their parents were making them leave the environment and we couldn't spend any more time together. my mother had emotionally absent parents growing up, and has always been extremely open to my brothers and i about how awful our grandparents are (who she relied on heavily at the time and who we lived with multiple times throughout our childhoods); she was always ungrateful -- her parents are flawed, but i don't want to hear about it when she's unwilling to admit the traumas in my life that were _her_ doing, or a result of her neglect, which i'm currently revaluating and unpacking the hindrances i struggle with, as most teenagers do during the process of growing up into an adult. my mom just never left that stage. i won't become like her, but i really mean that. my father was another aspect of my life experience, and while i can't promise i'm nothing like him at all, i recognised his shortcomings too, and how they hurt me, and his reluctances seemingly took away his own freedom to choose anything. at least, i prefer to think that he was unable to prioritise me, over the idea that he hadn't even considered it, because he had never seen my pain despite the way i assumed he saw through my perpetual smile, and felt _seen,_ as a kid by him, whenever he did feel like interacting with me (it was like he always had good excuses not to be around all of the time, and so i never considered him 'absent' when i was little, until i moved in with him upon hitting double digits). he was loving, but not emotionally available beyond the comfort of a dad hug. frankly, i know enough about my mom's mental state, though, that i can spot the fallacies in her reasoning, and follow her train of thought enough to recognise where it strays from one of stability. it's made me look at myself too, and retrain my understanding of things, and might have started my journey to diagnose the errors in my mindset. however, social media puts most of my generation in a bad light, i think we'll grow out of this era of self-obsession and into one of self-construction, beyond appearances and 'glow ups'. it's a part of maturing, and some people have more difficulty making progress, for a variety of reasons i'm sure. i was called mature by adults in my mom's circle, and though i chalked it up to creepiness for the most part, i did have to carry the weight of a grown woman's entire world on my shoulders, and my younger brother and i have always been significantly sensitive to negativity, and honest with our feelings. currently, i think our naivety may have sent us spiralling in the opposite direction. when so many people and things are tearing you down, it's difficult to remain optimistic and to risk being too trusting. we used to be more vulnerable, but that left us vulnerable to people our parents failed to protect us from, who _they_ accepted into _our_ lives. i've grown to struggle a lot with avoidant traits, and i'm slowly learning to trust the people in my life more. most of my friends hardly know me as i am. i'm a good friend of theirs, because i'm a good listener and i put effort into supporting them to the best of my ability, despite a tendency to come off as unsympathetic in interpersonal relationships because i've basically left all my emotions behind a brick wall 🧱 and don't feel safe to retrieve them with company around. i struggle with the fear that nobody likes me, and that they're constantly analysing my micro movements in order to mock me in their heads. i felt like one of my best friends was using me for years, and that she didn't like me, but kept me around because i was useful, or because i was a cute accessory for her to add to her usual friend group, and i didn't talk enough to be intrusive or impose until she encouraged me to.
@@elijahwinchester6690 you seem to be far more self aware and insightful than many people who are much older than you probably are from the context of your comment! I'm sorry that you were not really seen or prioritized as a child ought to be. Please consider talking to a counselor for your own well being soon as you are able to if you can -there are a few places that will work on sliding scale or you can apply for Medicaid if you live in the states and make under a certain amount annually but still don't put it off indefinitely because there's a lot you might be missing out on in your need for self protection and the world might be missing out reciprocally on what only you can bring to it!
I am a 64 year old man who grew up with a mentally disturbed father and a mother who enabled and defended him. He abused me emotionally and physically every single day until I turned 17. At 17 I had had enough and was now bigger than him. He was being his usual self and I saw red. I really had a red filter come over my eyes and for the first time in my life I saw fear in his. I picked him up by his throat and had his feet swinging pinned against the wall. I had lived in fear and terror of him my whole life but now I was seeing he was a coward. He started crying so instead of cleaning his clock I let him down, left home and never went back. That was 48 years ago and I still think about it every day.
When I was a child/early teens, my mom found Conduct Disorder online and “diagnosed” me with it. She’d tell all my teachers I had it, she’d ask people at church to pray for me so that I didn’t turn into a psychopath. Keep in mind, she never took me to a doctor or anything, just decided with her Degree from Google U. It wasn’t until I was in high school and had a teacher who helped me get help when she learned that my mom didn’t get an actual diagnosis and didn’t have me in therapy at all. I was eventually diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and OCD. I spent my whole childhood being told I was going to be this terrible person no one was gonna want to be around because my mom just decided I had CD. I was also diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder later, which runs in my family and I was always told growing up that my family members with it were just terrible people who chose to be “difficult” by my parents. Needless to say, as an adult in therapy, PTSD from all that childhood trauma got added to the list. I implore all parents to actually see a professional if you think your child is having problems, don’t google diagnose them.
@Laura Smith Thanks so much for your comment! You're very strong intelligent and it's extremely valuable what you shared. I'm not a specialist or clinician but I've noticed this a lot among many who think they can just do a web search and suddenly presume themselves to be experts. It's crazy. To think if your mom had just gotten you the proper attention and intervention earlier so much of that PTSD could have been avoided. It's great to know how proactive and knowledgeable you are about your own self-care!
Laura, That is so sad and she probably had underlying psychological issues I’m glad that you participated in counseling it’s hard work . I hope you feel better now
Had a cousin, who when around the age of 5, used to torture small animals slowly to death. His parents didn't get him help because of the social stigma of getting mental health services. They treated him as if his behaviour was normal, and gave him everything he wanted whenever he wanted it. He of course only got worse, and grew up to be an exceedingly violent gang member. He used to put me in the hospital regularly throughout my childhood.(he was three years older than me, and twice, to three times my size) All I ever wanted was for some adult to make him STOP!!! But no one ever did. Thanks for nothing to all those adults who were in the picture at the time and never lifted a finger to help me.
I'm so sorry that you did not have any allies or advocates. Adults that let horrible things happen to kids, know that they are being abused & Do Nothing are cowardly & contemptible. I echo that: thanks for nothing to all those adults who weren't there for those of us who were abused & bullied. Shame on the church / religious community too, for enabling abusers, essentially telling us to take it & covering it up! Shame on them.
I’m sorry you went thru that. I had an awful mom too (parents divorced lived w just mom) and I always wanted someone to see and help. Glad we are grown ups now but it still affects me greatly
I never knew the urinating aspect of this. My brother has all of these traits, and I remember he wet the bed until he was 12 years old, and once I was sitting on the stairs and he came behind me and peed on my head. My brother is 3 years younger than me, and terrorized me in child hood. Tried to stab me multiple times. My parents thought this was hilarious. This is extremely validating. Thank you for making these videos.
I clearly remember a child at school in the 80's who was a loner and was always quiet. In later high school he was connected to the slaughter of all the animals in the small farm garden the school had. Chickens, goats, and ducks were killed. On top of that he attempted to set a fire to totally destroy the teaching facility. He was around 16 when this happened and he just vanished. His actions had a huge effect on many other children at the school. No one could understand how a child could be so vicious. Watching this video now lets me understand he was a classic Psychopath.
I was always quiet and I'm a recluse, but I'm the type to get taken advantage of by psychopathic types. I relate to them though. They feel entitled to express their negative emotions because they felt wronged by their caregivers in childhood. After living a life that was out of their control, they finally act out, and they feel right in doing so. I can't disagree because I understand it and I feel the same way, but I've never gotten into fights or acted on my "rage". Maybe my isolating behavior could be considered that, but I don't believe people want me around anyway so I isolate. 🤷♀️
"I had to do a lot of research on this and I wanted to talk to a lot of clinicians before I attempted to answer it" And this is why you're one of the very few sources I trust in regard to mental health on UA-cam. Thank you for actually caring about credibility and fact and not just pulling a 'Rewired Soul' and talking out of your ass.
You sound like a bad person playing the blame it’s not my fault my mother did this to me where was your dad you don’t mention him and what age are you responsible for your own actions .why would something that happened x yrs age .make you become a thief.I’m interested in your answer because I was abused but never became a bad person .
Depends on your idea of bad. A bad parent to me is even a parent who takes no precautions when it comes to what or who their kid is being influenced by. A bad parent raises their kids in toxic societies and enviorments. That's a lot of parents.... chances are, the parents of psychopaths are worse.
@@drearperry8727 Well, then by your logic EVERY parent is a bad parent. You do realize that when kids are at school, the parent has no control over who their kid is hanging out with on the playground? It's even worse when that kid gets into high school. And if you think that the school is going to do anything about that, you'd be wrong. A parent can know the parents of their children's friends, but that is still no guarantee that their kid isn't a bad influence on your kid. My guess is that you are either not a parent or the parent of very small children. The reality is, if you protect your kid from bad influences all the time, they never learn the skills to identify bad influences, nor how to get away from them. If a parent "hovers" over their kid, otherwise known as helicopter parenting, or are overly protective, they are not doing their kids any favors. At best, they don't learn necessary skills needed for adult life and at worst, they will eventually rebel and then all hell will break loose. Also, one could argue that all societies are toxic and all homes are dysfunctional. Nobody is perfect as a parent, but some parents shouldn't be parents. Those that should be parents are the ones that support their kid, give discipline only when necessary, but mostly just love them for who they are, not what they are expected to be.
@@heatherhillman1 It saddens me to see you put so much effort into justifying evil behavior. No loving parent would ever make excuses for why they didn't protect their kid. You're missing the point. Because it's "impossible" to protect your kid the way you should, why have them? See my point.
Science is finding out now that psychopathy is more about genetics then they once realized! Brain scans can see that brains are wired differently than normal folks. We are still finding out if it is heterozygous or homozygous.
I have a lot of these traits, most of them, and I’ve struggled all my life trying to overcome them. I’ve been working on my mental health pretty seriously for around 7 years now, and I’ve come a very long way. At this point I’ve come to terms with the fact that at the least I have some psychopathic traits. With lots of treatment, therapy, effective meds, dedication, and hard work, I’m now in the range of normalcy for most things, with some areas that I still truffle with, and in some areas I excel. But it’s an active process for me. When I put important aspects of my life on “auto-pilot,” things can deteriorate pretty quickly. It takes a lot of focus to stay on an upward trajectory. These videos help me understand myself and my past, to piece things together, and help me stay motivated to keep learning and searching within to understand myself and the world I live in. Thank you so much!
I'm so happy for you, honestly. All this while most of what I've seen and heard about psychopathy is from "witnesses", whether they be in the form of therapists, victims of said psychopathy or just misinformed social media. It's made to seem like it's unheard of for individuals diagnosed with psychopathic traits to actively seek for or want therapy and treatment. Thank you for sharing your story here, and I pray for your continued success!
@@footlong7980 Thank you for the kind words. Regarding the negativity surrounding psychopathy, this was a real issue for me because my own prejudice caused me to fear seeking a deeper understanding of myself. At one point in my life, even today to some extent, the last thing I wanted to do was to look inside myself and find some kind of psychopathic monster, so I made the mistaken (but understandable) conclusion that I was better off not looking. I thought at the time that the price I paid for that evasion was better than taking the risk of shattering my fragile ego. I now understand that seeking awareness and understanding in myself and in the world tends to help me feel better, more peaceful, more confident, happier; whereas evasion and fuzzy thinking towards myself and the world tend to cause pain and suffering, or worse, numbness. The turning point for me was learning and adopting rational philosophy, especially the idea that the whole purpose of our conscious mind is to enable us to observe reality and use that information to solve the problems of human survival and flourishing. In any fight between human whims and reality, reality always always always wins. Once I got that drilled into myself pretty well, I started on a journey that has turned my life around completely. The first domino was realizing: the way you use your mind makes a big fucking difference in the spiritual and material results you get in the world. I believe that that's the first step that has to happen for anyone like me to turn things around. You have to develop a basic respect for reality, and for your own mind. With hard work and dedication, everything else will follow.
@@Ezra1789 Truer words have never been written. Our mind is the lens with which we can perceive and experience the world around us. Once we give up on it, we are basically giving up on life and living itself.
Either you are a very self -aware psychopath or you are not psychopath at all. Psychopaths usually don't want to change, even if they ever get around to admitting they are one. They think everyone else is at fault and rarely blame themselves.
Doctor! I only just realized today that people are still watching your college courses, and that you have *millions of views on them!* You really are helping people so much. Thank you for making these free to watch.
I caught my friends son 4yrs old holding a giant rock the size of his face over his head about to drop it on my chihuahua. His mom acted like it was nothing. They're both creepy. I smacked his little hand i do not care
It’s important that you contact children services about this child. Next time he’ll be dropping a rock on a kid’s head, or old lady’s head. They tend to *escalate*, the more they go undetected, or are re-unforced, in their behaviours.
I was misdiagnosed when I was 10 or 11 as a child with ASPD. I was in foster care, was very angry, antisocial, and numb. I’m still dealing with the after effects of being labeled with that. I was literally called a monster, constantly. I deeply hated everyone for a very long time for that. In reality I had/have PTSD, ADHD and Autism. Part of me still hates the people that convinced me that I was a horrible person. The other part of me is desperately trying to prove them wrong.
You can do it! Keep going! My son has adhd and autism, and possibly ptsd from an unavoidable situation and at one time he had a label like that too. He’s nothing like the therapist pronounced he would be. Instead he’s the sweetest, kindest man learning how to navigate the world…it’s tough but we’ve thrown that one untrue label out the window. You keep going. Be proud of how far you’ve come and keep proving them wrong!
Please keep trying to prove them wrong. Please remember that hurting other people hurts yourself. There is an old proverb, “Before starting down the path of revenge dig two graves.” It’s the way life works. Practice kindness to yourself and others and remember the things done to you mean nothing about you and everything about the one doing it.
Part of me wishes I could be like that, wishing I was better. But most of me is just happy that nobody fucks with me, and that I have the willingness to fuck them up badly and face the consequences afterwards if anybody chose to. Mostly, I'm happy alone. Happy that people don't bother with me. I wouldn't notice anyone if they were dying and I'd hope the same.
7:07 Macdonald Triad 7:19 Bed Wetting 8:02 Arson 9:01 Hurting Small Animals 11:13 Cheating Friends, Enemies, & Individuals who're Neutral 12:35 Ignoring another Child who is Crying 14:08 Dominant with an Authority Figure 15:33 Commiting a Crime Alone 17:00 A Desire to See Disturbing Images 18:33 Fearless with Consequences 19:27 Bulling other Children 19:57 Poor Parenting
1. Urinating on other kids 2. Arsen or interest in flames 3. Hurting small animals (and stuff animals) 4. Cheating friends, enemies or people that are neutral, stealing money/toys 5. Ignoring another child who is crying and moving to potential attacks 6. Attacking a teacher or police officer with a weapon 7. Committing a crime alone 8. A desire to see disturbing images/scenes 9. Fearless with consequences 10. Bullying other children 11. Cold/poor parenting
He specified that one sign was "bedwetting" and _not_ "urinating on other kids or furniture" as the latter is actually something they aren't as sure about. It may be the child's effort to assert dominance on others. Also, most people who wet their bed as kids *aren't* psychopaths, and some have trauma which causes the bedwetting
1. agree with his take, i had bed wetting for a while but agree that its trauma 2. agree as well, only had interest in calm flames likely because i was never calm unless in hyperfocused type of state 3. ive seen many people i grew up around love to stab or do stuff to stuffed animals lol 4. i stole quite a lot including friends toys, parents valuables, teachers phone once, for the longest time i couldnt remember why i did any of those and besides a impulse for the teachers phone just laying there i didnt have any logical reason to besides temptation, i remember all of these feelings very well, for friends toys honestly them being friends didnt really matter because i had become a self proclaimed proficient liar atp and i think it also had to do with financial problems and my parents starting to say no to things after a certain string of events happened in their lives which then effected me, and no i didnt care because i would logic my way into morally justifying it 5. agree, in my case i just learned to ignore it when i got older and direct my anger at the parents which reflected my negative experiences with being emotionally neglected 6. agree definitely think this has to do with parents and authority figures which in many cases i think sometimes may be justified but yes not when a weapon is used, my autistic friend stabbed me in the back with a stick in 3rd grade and then started crying because he didnt know what he just did and then i started crying with him tho, if im also autistic this would explain a lot 7. as an only child i did a lot of things alone including stealing 8. yes there was definitely an intense fascination with committing crimes and also just spreading more lies that i knew about the anatomy and pressure points because it was fascinating to be able to immobilize someone so quickly 9. after facing multiple consequences for things i quickly became desensitized to it because my father would say things that were deterministic like the last straw but he would never get there so i learned his threats became emptier and many peoples threats are usually empty but i never realized it was just out of wanting me to stop whatever it was which then made me feel bad 10. agree, never bullied because i enjoyed being socially accepted as a lonely person who actually wanted friends 11. agree, in my case it’s disorganized attachment because it was very confusing when theyd say things that seemed to make attempts at intimacy but when i would try to be intimate and express issues it would never go well which is what i learned from i dont think im a psychopath nor a sociopath because i really do enjoy other people and also i would feel so terrible after all of these things, guilt/shame was something i had as well as depression/anxiety which all led to an adhd diagnosis last year (freshman year of university), i love people but it gets very complex in depth of thought since my life is something ive been trying to conceptualize since maybe 6th grade when i really felt depression
I worked at a Childrens psychiatric hospital. This is a locked facility for acute behavioral issues and I’ve seen my share of psychopathic children. It’s almost unbelievable how young they can start to display these traits. These children often came from extreme traumatizing scenarios. One child in particular was at the cusp of becoming a full blown psychopath but it was more due to the parents having no boundaries and basically turning him into a total narcissist by age 8. He peed anywhere to show dominance and anger, threatened both of his parents with violence to the point that the whole family would lock themselves in the bathroom to keep him from abusing them. I once spent about 2.5 hours with this child in the isolation room where he repeatedly urinated all over the walls and see through door so that the staff had to clean it up. The parents then complained that he wasn’t being treated with respect bc as part of his treatment we had to ask him why he wanted to hurt his family and that was “too much for him to handle”. I think sometimes parents can contribute to these issues by overly appeasing children with conduct issues at a young age. Treating a child like they are God’s gift to earth even after they have been behaving badly is also a form of neglect bc children need boundaries in order to recognize right from wrong Very interesting topic. I have a sibling who has many sociopathic traits that were left unaddressed and although she may seem somewhat normal she is definitely a full blown narcissist and most likely sociopath due to constantly getting away with violent and illegal behaviors. It all starts at home. Parents have to recognize that not all children outgrow toxic behavior.
I know I am not a professional, but I’ve seen peeing everywhere and absolutely horrible psychotic behaviors from kids with PANDAS/PANS. It’s been a controversial diagnosis but it’s becoming more accepted. This kid may very well be a psychopath but there’s a chance that he, and kids like him, have PANDAS or PANS which is an infection (many times it’s strep) that affects the basal ganglia.
Treatment should have started by having him wipe up his own urine with a rag. Bet you anything he'd stop all that the moment he had to clean it himself.
I always assumed I matured or grew out of being the person I used to be. The older I get the more I realize I'm still the same person, but I taught myself how to be the person I want to be. It's a 24/7 job.
@@guineapigtalks i don’t think they mean literally teaching themselves but figuratively like understanding right and wrong and you should and shouldn’t do
1.Bedwetting 7:19 2.Arson 8:02 3.Hurting Small Animals 9:00 4.Cheating friends and/or stealing from friends and/or allies 11:13 5.Ignoring another child that is crying 12:35 6.Being dominant with an authority figure 14:07 7.Commiting a crime alone 15:34 8.Desire to see disturbing images or scenes 17:00 9.Fearless when it comes to consequences and/or pain 18:33 10.The child bullies other children and wants children to fear them 19:26 11.Poor parenting 19:55
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_* _Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._ -
As an adoptee myself, who simply has only been diagnosed ADD, I’ve noticed that being adopted in itself can cause what appears to be, borderline personality, and that is why it is difficult to pinpoint, bc it depends on the adoption situation. Neglect, abandonment and related traumas are the root issue with these. Being given up before you even have a chance is unbelievably traumatic.
I too am an adoptee, nd have worked with teen adoptees. Our agency's research has demonstrated that abandonment is a key issue in maladaptive behaviors and suffering in most adoptees. I remember thinking, as a child (fosterhome veteran, adopted at age 3) that my feet didn't touch the floor, or that I must be from the moon. It didn't matter what the age was for adoption. Those adopted at birth and those adopted at older ages experienced abandonment issues. The teens in my group, without exception, experienced bonding problems and and identity confusion. Often they were diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder. The only reason for their problems was not BPD, we learned, but the aformentioned identity problems caused by being ignorant of their biological roots. Unsealing birth records has been very key in ameliorating this condition.
I presented all of these traits as a child when I was part of an extremely abusive household that had power so I would get away with acting out at school. Once I was removed from it as a teen and went through intensive therapy, my traits changed. Now I am diagnosed with PTSD but no personality disorder. Hopefully the children with these traits can receive help early on.
@@snowmanggaming3708 I suppose the key here is this content creator is a professional who is sharing information based off reality and facts. Also he even cites some sources for this info provided in the description. The assimilation of knowledge is a valuable thing. As long as one can determine what potentially is purely for entertainment value vs inform and educate, I’d say it can be a valid source.
@@audimaster5000 I view expert knowledge like a painting. What is the provenance of that information? Experience and observation are near the top for me. References show the professional nature of the presenter and a concerted effort to pull together and assess theories other than their own. Overall, I think it’s very important to teach HS Students to seek out information outside their own echo chamber and assess it themselves. Unfortunately, many lab studies do not hold up to real world application nor peer review. That’s for another day. Hence why experience and observation are so important.
I honestly wish I had counseling as a kid... I had four of these traits... My life was chaos... But luckily I found therapy... Better late than never...
I'm glad that it mentioned that these behaviours can result from trauma... like a reaction, acting out. And I'm glad that you're receiving the proper attention for it. More power to you, and thanks for sharing.
I never wanted to have children, so I didn't. I've never had any regrets. I never wanted to be married or have a family of my own. I was afraid I'd be a parent like my own. It's a miracle that I didn't grow up to be a psychopath. When I was in grade school I knew a kid who was like you're describing. We were all afraid of him. One morning our teacher spoke to us before the day started. She said that a-hole kid's father had killed his mother & we were being asked to say NOTHING about it. So that explained that. That was the kind of home he came from.
Fascinating. Having been a teacher of middle and high school students for over 25 years and hundreds if not thousands of kids I have seen these symptoms only FOUR times. I keep waiting to see those kids on the news one day. It isn't something I look forward to believe me.
Lucky you. I have been in an educator for 14 years. Kindergarten and primary school mostly and have seen dozens of children who showcased poor Prognostic indicators during their development. I have to add though that these schools I have been working at are not situated in Europe or North America and mostly in places where mental health is either poorly understood, stigmatized or ignored altogether. It is mostly bad parenting and being woefully ignorant. Psychopathy isn't the most common though, narcissistic behavior is far more prevalent and to a degree even more dangerous because its often actively encouraged .
I have also seen these traits in two children in my twenty year career. I expect to see them in the paper one day unless they received therapy and familial intervention. They were young.
@@user-ru6mq5sc5n Oh I believe you. I worked in five schools-one parochial Catholic school, three special needs schools, and one in an inner urban city public school. All different. I saw every learning disability under the sun but I only rarely observed psychopathy. I guess I was fortunate.....
+Carter Is that the grown-ups who play with children toys? I saw the video about a syndrome which makes grown up men, play with "My little pony" in their offices in Wallstreet, Manhattan? This is a sick behaviour which predominantly men suffers from it and often men within finances. They are labelled with a plain and simple diagnosis called "Insane in the brain" syndrome.
As a teacher, I have met a few scary kids. Kids I was actually afraid of. It was so frustrating to try and talk about them to administrators because maybe if they identified them early, they could help them in some way. But no one wanted to address it. No one wanted to talk to parents. Neon sign problems.
Completely sympathize -- In fact, now that you can't expell children from some schools, as a student you end up locked in with psychopaths. It's a nightmare and impossible to learn in that environment.
4/5 grow out of these ODD behaviors, but 1/5 turn into a psychopath. But psychopathy has strongest genetic component. Therefore, most likely also a parent w/ it making informing/getting parents involved not that successful. I’ve had Oppositional adolescent clients and understood MUCH more when further meeting the parents who had psychopathic/antisocial traits. Can’t make them attend therapy let alone actually participate in it, unfortunately.
I had students at 9 yrs old who were pros at manipulation One 8 yr old boy grabbed his mothers crotch and she did nothing. I told both parents that he was having issues and they said "hes a tough nut to crack" the dad was very rude and entitled.
I think the lack of consequences for kids is going to end badly. Something I am tired of hearing is calling teens and early 20s babies. They are young and brains still developing but NOT babies. I wonder where this is all going to end. I went to training about 10-15 years ago, and the presenter said we are creating narcissists
@gabrielleangelica1977 About a year ago, I watched UA-cam channel with former teacher. She told of pregnant teacher getting punched in stomach by student. The administration response was to teacher what did she do wrong. Nothing happened to the kid, and she still had to be his teacher. The general theme was that teachers are afraid of administration, administration is afraid of the school board, and the school board is afraid of parents. Eta, I think the teacher called her husband to go to the hospital and she got in trouble for leaving to go to the hospital.
Hi. I am a 40 year old man from Canada. Thank you for producing this video. With a heavy heartI I say this has explained a few things from my childhood. I don’t remember much before the age of six but at that age my family moved to a small town from a big city. I remember many times hurting our barn cats our dog and enjoying shooting birds with a stolen gun. I also played with fire a lot and burned down our neighbours barn. I would steel my older brothers toys and sell them at school. I would repeatedly get into fights and many times fiight kids much older then me. One time I got angry with my friend and chased him down and stabbed him with a pencil. I tell you this because I have gotten much better and in my adult years even though life has been hard I have been able to keep my loving wife and two children and run a successful business. I am tormented by my past and still struggle with lack of emotion and empathy but I do live a relatively content life. Thank you again.
all your childhood aside, i am very glad to see you are doing much better, and are on a different path then child you was looking to. i hope that you find even more contentment in your life and become increasingly happier, if you aren't already aren't. much love
Had my issues as well. 66 now and I often lament about my childhood behavior while drifting to sleep at night. My memories can make me incredibly anxious almost to the point of passing out. I find it amazing that my parents didn't intervene at all.
It must be devastating for good parents to see legitimate concerns in their children, I couldn't imagine having to parent thru that, my heart goes out to you
As someone with Aspergers (autism) I learned about autism in a university class and they made autistics sound a bit like psychopaths - like not having empathy. Which was untrue. I wish more people knew that autistics have empathy, and studies have shown that we actually are more empathetic than non-autistics (allistics)
My son is autistic & deaf. He is in his 30’s. He is NOT a psychopath, however, he doesn’t seem to understand other peoples pain. Kinda like, he isnt feeling pain so everything must be okay. People who are on the autism spectrum may seem uncaring but i truly believe its, that they only have difficulty expressing themselves & communicating their feelings. Their communication bridges are either damaged or in some cases broken. In my opinion, my son has a beautiful heart & soul. I admire how his spirit has stayed enjoyable when he as almost no ability to communicate. I wish you a fantastic journey through life. A friend with autism once called non-autistic people…..neurosimplistic!
I think it's a lot more about how the feeling is expressed. When I was young I could go through my birthday with a stone face, and then dropkick a kid for telling me my hair looked wack, but it's not like I didn't feel the proper emotion, it was mainly about me not understanding the social context of the event and the social expectations other people had of me. Like, today I feel the same amount of emotion, but I understand it better and I express it in a more understandable manner. This being said I'm starting to think I also have a good deal of narcissistic traits, not that I would notice, considering how little I understand social interactions to this day, but some of the descriptions from the Doc hit dangerously close to home.
My adult son hits almost every single point on that scale. When he was 2 he broke a door off it's hinges, at 3 he started peeing in the corner of his closet. At four he drowned a batch of kittens, by 8 he set a local hotel on fire (he graduated from newspapers). He was in therapy from the age of 4. By 8 he was hurting his older sister and couldn't stay with us any longer. He kind of functions now, but only barely. He can't hold a job and has huge anger issues. I'm afraid of him. I had to choose between my healthy child or my sick child, who would probably never get better. I chose my well child and let the State raise the sick one, with doctors and qualified attendants 24 hours a day. My daughter is doing very well today, she has a college degree and she's now the boss at work. I'm so proud of her and giving up my sick child was the best decision I could have made for everybody. (Edit - Thank you every body for your kind and supportive comments. I really appreciate it. 🥰)
I’m so sorry 😞. You’re momma intuition knew what you had to do. You made the right decision imo. Don’t ever feel guilt about it. I hope you are doing well. Take care ☮️
I watched a utube video on it. It has to do with the child learning early on that his life is more better if the child learns to predict moods, and be pleasant, so the child can avoid a negative reaction from parents when they r in bad mood and also parent feels nice to child when child is pleasing.
If the intent of the abuse is to manipulate the child they may be ppl pleasers but if the intent is to destroy the child all to gather than I can see how becoming a monster is a survival strategy.
Not some. The vast majority does. The vast majority of those kids turn out to be wonderful human beings. A bad childhood is anything but an excuse for horrible and abusive behavior really.
@Lisa Boulier I agree that people who have lived through trauma and abuse as children often do grow up into the world's much needed advocates for prosocial loving and living *in spite of* what they were taught in their vulnerable, formative childhoods...However, for the few that traject towards OPP, then ASPD as adults, to say that they were somehow intrinsically "weaker" and therefore, became dysfunctional adults is a bit oversimplifying a complex interplay of perceived occurrences for the child and the available support system at the time. For children who have thrived as adults, we often hear of the concept of "resilience", and the more social support a child has, the less likely they are to become dysfunctional adults. I had one person who *finally* listened and *believed* me when I told them what was happening to my twin and I (severe physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, etc.), and it made a world of difference for me. I still struggle, but I wasn't "weak". Thanks!
When I was young, I tortured animals, insects, crabs, I had no concept of another creatures pain. I went through a lot of traumatic events when I was young, and looking back at my behavior, I must have been on the spectrum. I had a deep fascination with fire as well. Later in life I learned empathy, and was able to grow in to a good strong man. I'm now raising a family, and have the most amazing wife, my life isn't perfect, but it's beautiful ❤️
@@MR.AIRWALK Empathy is being able to feel another beings pain. I put my self in thier shoes. A good example for men is, when I see another man getting kicked in the nuts. I've experienced this, so I can easily put my self in thier shoes. I spent a lot of time in meditation, searching my heart and mind, got in touch with who I really am. But what REALLY did it for me. Psychedelics. Massive doses of magic mushrooms, and later in life, Ayahuasca. These substances straitened me out to out in lightly. Used in a ceremonial setting. Not as a party drug.
Years ago, my wife and I were taking care of kids while their parents were attending a parenting class. One little boy, about 6-years-old, seemed like a potential psychopath to me. He didn't respect authority and was mean to the other kids. One time he kicked my wife, so we decided we had better get one of his parents, who were in another room in the same building. She went to get them, and as she was on her way the boy told me in the flattest, least emotional way you can imagine that he hoped something really bad would happen to her before she got there, like somebody would shoot her or the building would burn and she would die in the fire. It was chilling. I don't think you could blame bad parenting in this case... they seemed like nice people, and after all, they were taking a parenting class! I've often wondered what became of him. It felt like his parents needed a miracle from God, not just some nice tips on being better parents.
Their brains are different, I read an article a while back about a neuroscientist who accidentally found out he was a psychopath. He was looking at brain scans of violent criminals and murderers and he realized they were similar to his own. He also had genetic variants that pointed to psychopathy, strangely it turns out that Lizzy Borden is part of his family line.
There are, sometimes, children born just plan evil. I have spoken with their mothers. All their other children were normal, but then came this one who wanted only to torture and kill the pets, hurt other children and loved to start fires. They were verbally cruel, even to their parents. They didn't just lack emotion/empathy, they were aggressive and cruel. The only reason I would blame their parents except when they see all these signs and just make excuses for their kid.
they seemed like nice people.. im sure they werent screaming at him every day.. thats what people who seem like nice people do at home when theyre not out there pretending theyre nice people to put on a show for the world..
I listened to your whole presentation and found it very disturbing and imagined that the burn out rate of counselors that deal with these children on a regular basis. I feel hopeless just hearing about it. My heart goes out to the caring parents who have to go through this and not understand why it happened.
@@itswhatyoumakeit6950 would you be able to find a book on subjects of philosophy . This is phychology is educational.will youtuber get philosophical for us?
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_* _Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._ --
I identify with this. I did this for awhile until my mid-teens, and now I hate the thought. I was alone, had no friends, and was teased. Was this an act of desire to control my world? The insects being my torturers? I don't know. What I do know is that without love there is no empathy, regardless of age.
Thanks for sharing, Doc. Very insightful. I've compiled a 'cliffnotes' version if anybody is interested. Dr. Grande's "11 Signs a Child May Become a Psychopath" - Animal Cruelty (often starts with dolls... harming... escalation to torture/killing is a very strong indicator) - Aggressive Urinating (Bedwetting is indicative of trauma... escalation to AU is a much stronger indicator) - Pyromania (fascination with fire and/or destruction... escalation to arson is a much stronger indicator) - Cheating (perpetually lying/cheating/stealing... escalation to 'conning' friends & family is an indicator) - Mocking Authority (aggression/dominance toward authority figures [often teachers] is an indicator) - Solo Crime (children will be mischievous under peer pressure... solo crime [esp. violence] is an indicator) - Ignoring Consequences (complete disregard of punishment/pain + constant misbehavior is an indicator) - Bullying (insults are commonplace... an innate desire to create & witness fear/anguish is an indicator) - Ignoring Distress (failing to recognize/react to obvious distress [such as crying] can be an indicator) - Obsession w/ Graphic Content (morbid curiosity is one thing... morbid obsession can be an indicator) - Poor Parenting (negative reactions, lack of positive feedback, neglect/abuse... all may lead to indicators)
Be careful... Bed wetting can also be due to kidney failure. When our little brother started to wet himself, our parents took him to the doctor for tests and, sure enough, he had one bad kidney that ended up needing to be surgically removed. This was back in the 1960s. My parents stayed overnights with him at what was then called Boston Floating Hospital while the rest of us kids spent that part of the summer at our aunt and uncle's house.
I was in kindergarten the first time i stood in the doorway, helpless, while my mother was punched and choked by her mother. This lead me to bully kids smaller or younger than me. I remember being in first grade and convincing kindergartens to play tag with me and I would push them hard or trip them on the rocks. “Console” them when they cried and brought them to a teacher. I don’t know how the teachers didn’t realize something was up. I used to feel excited that my step brothers would be hurt by my grandmother…..I cry to think about this now as an adult. I feel overwhelming guilt that I hurt and wished others to be hurt. My narcissistic grandmothers foster home bred us all to have some of these traits; some of us have recovered further than some of the other kids. I hold guilt shame regret and love hopefulness and support for/to the kids I grew up with. Thanks for your informational video. You’ve worded everything with grace and care.
I'm sorry you had to go through that as a child and it caused you to lash out - but I commend you for your self awareness and ability to change and take accountability. Not everyone does. Sending hope for you and the others who never deserved what you went through!
Thank you for making this video. I’m interested in learning more about this topic. My mother and maternal grandmother are psychopaths they both have a lot of these symptoms (especially hurting animals, crime, delighting in seeing fear in people) as children and adults. I’m a survivor of Munchausen syndrome by proxy and ritual abuse. I was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) as a child and potentially could have developed psychopathic traits. Thankfully I didn’t -although I do have other illnesses (DID/PTSD). I am really impressed by your non-judgmental and understanding approach. Being a victim of people who have psychopathic traits it is difficult to be understanding.
I’ve found that ritual abuse seems to be an almost-always prerequisite for DID... Obviously it’s probably not *always* because these things are never neatly boxed in, but I also suppose it’s so common because of how truly devastating and evil that kind of abuse and trauma really is. People like yourself are truly the strongest I can possibly imagine. I wish you the very best in this life.
You are incredibly strong my dads a psychopath but I always had my overly emotional mother as an anchor I’m a diagnosed sociopath but don’t think it’s that bad a lot of people try and copy my personality which I see as weird to do. I WISH YOU LOVE AND SUCCESS IN LIFE YOU DESERVE IT.
Jared Williams Can I ask you a couple of questions about your personal experiences being a sociopath? I’m finishing my undergrad in psychology and I have a couple questions from a psychological perspective. I understand if it’s not something you would like to discuss and I respect your decision if you choose not to. Thank you and I hope you have a good weekend.
Your lectures are wonderful . So clear , factual , the problem always presented in a realistic way . Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience so generously.
Excellent presentation. I have 35 years of experience as a child psychiatrist in juvenile justice institutions and this is the best, most accurate synopsis of Conduct Disorder in childhood that I've ever seen. Should be mandatory for every school teacher, not that these children are necessarily treatable but early detection is key.
As a teacher, I can tell you that 90% or educators already know this. There is nothing we can do except send them to the counselor and try to gently let the parents know what we observe. We are NEVER allowed to even insinuate any type of diagnosis of a child.
@@AJ-hz3tx I agree that most teachers are well aware. There was a child in my daughter’s class at school who demonstrated many of these risk behaviors and the other children and teachers alike feared him. At the beginning of third grade, my daughter and the boy were in the same classroom and their teacher was pregnant. Two months into the school year, she was into her 3rd month and beginning to show (she was very slender). We had become friendly and she told me she had made the decision to leave at that point out of fear that the child would hurt her and/or the baby when she began to show. It was a sad situation as she was a good teacher and she enjoyed working with her kids.
In my workplace a few years back, a young lad was working for a while. He came to help me one night, and we got to talking, and I asked him what he wanted to do in life. He was very young, and this was just a part time job for him while he was in college. He told me that he wanted to join the army because he really wanted to know what it would be like to kill someone. As this wasn't what you would call a normal response, I kept chatting with him about other stuff. I learned that his girlfriend found him very cold and unemotional, and he suspected she was going to break up with him because of it. And he wasn't that bothered. I was a stranger to him really, and he was telling me this stuff as if we'd known each other for years. He said he'd always wondered what taking a life would feel like, and that if he was in the army he couldn't get in trouble for it. It was quite honestly the most chilling conversation I've ever had with somebody. You could argue that it was bravado but he was not swaggering, like a typical lad would be. This was very matter of fact. He wasn't smiling to show that he was joking, and when I changed the subject he would respond but then go back to it. I never got to work with him again, and he left soon after. But I often wonder what became of him.
@@johncreighton844 When you learn they're your own family* who seek to destroy you, take it All, leave you (a widow) for dead, with a 'blown-out brain'/ c-PTSD & and hoping you commit suicide... You learned in Nov., they're on the rise, (+ "Fawning") outside your door - you definitely, start to feel that way, 5 years later.
Most of them are in Government and positions of power. One thing he doesn't cover is most of them attempt to get in positions of power and if they are good at mimicking others and they are willing to do anything to get to the top which psychopaths will do which is why do many are in office. Bush Sr. and Jr. The Clintons and even Carter are all psychopaths. I know and dealt with all of them in my life.
We are a little bit behind what happens in the USA. They had animal therapy in courts years ago and UK just starting to get involved. Hopefully we will help the children that are ignored in abusive families that no one wants to talk about or help.
Randal Turner You are confusing psychopathy with sociopathy. There is a major difference. Sociopaths often have certain skill sets and mind sets that matriculate them to positions of power. It’s what they do with that power that illustrates their true intention and identifies their neurosis.
I have some sociopathic traits, but I believe my parents made the right choice early on and taught me the importance of being kind to children and animals. I have difficulty understanding other people's emotions, which often makes it challenging for me to fit into society. Sometimes, I find myself watching cringy videos, like people getting booed off stage, and try to imagine myself in their shoes because I never feel embarrassed and have no shyness at all. In my younger years, I was very manipulative and felt no shame. I committed my first crimes at a very young age, and it escalated to break-ins when I was around 10 years old. However, I have never intentionally harmed anyone or felt the need to do so, aside from normal fights. When I was about 7, I witnessed a graphic car accident where a person had a severely injured head, but it didn't affect me emotionally. Now, as I am older, I find it increasingly difficult to explain or counteract my inability to socialize normally, which makes me sad because I anticipate getting into more trouble as time goes on. I experience emotions like everyone else, but I don't act on them for the sake of social approval like "normal" people do. I never lie because I always speak my mind, and I am often perceived as self-centered. However, I believe that, in all honesty, we are all self-centered to some extent; I just don't try to hide it because I don't care about trivial conflicts. I found this talk to accurately describes how I think I am on many points, and it relieved me to realize that I can express some form of empathy, even if it is considered mechanical. This realization assures me that I'm not a psychopath, and that is reassuring. Perhaps there is hope for me to.
1. People are self-centered 2. speaking you mind is a GOOD trait, just try to read the emotions on the face of the other person. Try to develop reading the emotions of other people. If you don't understand how they feel do the same to yourself.
You can also ask people how they are feeling. Please keep up the good work. Know intellectually that being kind to people and animals is one of the best things you can do in life, even a small act of kindness sends out waves of good energy into the universe. 💗🙏
@@Beth-sn9ip What an absolute bullshit. There are no "waves of kindness". You're sitting on a molten rock ball wit h a crust, spinning and zipping through endless emptiness and you think your "waves" make any difference to a fragment of the universe so small, that it defies any measurement of its volume against the whole? It's just shit people do, random acts that change things that ultimately won't make any difference.
A great example is Dr. James Fallon who works at UC Irvine he’s written books about his own psychopathy he was diagnosed as a psychopath but he believes that his mothers kindness helped keep him from going further and his own education in the field of neuroscience also taught him to understand himself. This is an example of someone who could redirect the bad behavior or results.
I'm sorry, but something doesn't make sense here. Sounds like a misdiagnosis because it's very difficult to see how any REAL psychopath, even a child, can turn their life around so successfully. I'm sure there are a lot of misdiagnosed humans. It can be an imperfect science depending on competency of mental professionals. There's too many who shouldn't be practicing mental health!
@@andreah6379 It's really disconcerting and, honestly, kinda rude for you to say that. Psychopathy is still a mental illness. Bringing a person's accomplishments into question on the sole basis of their mental illness is inappropriate. Besides that, many psychopaths (diagnosed and undiagnosed) are successful in life. A person who knows they have psychopathy and receives the proper attention and treatment they need can function "normally" within society. You wouldn't actually be able to tell by their level of success whether or not they had psychopathy. Also, many people who go into brain-related sciences (neuroscience, psychology, cognitive anything, etc.) do so precisely because they have a mental illness or disability and want to learn more about themselves. Dr. Fallon may have degrees in psychology, but he is *not* a therapist. He is a neuroscientist, professor, and researcher.
This demonstrates how the focus on resources needs to be on indepth support. Those who focus on the justice system, should understand is a waste, its destructive.
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_* _Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._ --
Thank you Dr. Grande for stating the fact that some individuals are abusive and neglectful parents. As a teacher, I have seen appallingly bad parenting decisions from overly permissive, overly rescuing and reality denying beliefs and actions to controlling authoritative, unyielding and contemptuous words and deeds towards the child. In Canada, it seems unless a child comes to school with severe physical wounds, CPS rarely intervenes. Institutionally, we have a problem too of being woke to cultural parenting practices and often administrators use this as an excuse to do nothing for a child. Not all parents are virtuous and I am often sickened by society's overendowment of a parents' right to really be freely neglectful and abusive of their child's physical social emotional and educational needs because their sexual act produced a resulting biological offspring. I have never understood why empathy training, good parenting practices are never a core part of K to12 curriculum. How many children could we help live a better life if we adopted developmental empathic nurturing mental physical health as a foundation of our schools?
@Kathleen Clarke No amount of empathy training will help a child if they have to go home to a parent that beats them. And the reason why CAS doesn't go after the traditional nuclear family is because they are too busy kidnapping perfectly happy children from single mothers to meet a 5000 per year quota.
I worked in daycare as a highschooler in summer and the school year for many years. I saw so much. I loved the children but some people in those childcare places were not good people, including staff, parents and administration. Pedophiles in staff and abusive parents ect. I tried to confront as a sincere and intelligent young woman but was almost fired. I was so good at my work and the children really loved me and the state offered me a four year full scholarship to become a teacher. I had to leave that field. I was schock
Kathleen Clark! I work in the schools in the U.S and I see the same things. Kudos to you for speaking truthfully about what's going on with parents, children, and the schools!
Empathy is a core part of the BC curriculum. We have a program called ‘roots of empathy’ where kids in grade one have a baby come in once a week for the year, and the children learn to interpret the child’s behaviours, connect with how they are growing etc. It’s been off since the pandemic, but they also have multiple anti-bullying efforts, peer counsellors on the playground, etc.. I can say that bullying in school here (I have an 18 and a 12 YO) is really minimal. My 18 yo is bi-sexual, has a transsexual friend and a lesbian couple as part of their group. His friendship group has very skin shade in it. He’s never been overtly bullied or teased. In their last health class a couple of years ago they discussed gender and sexual differences, and he wasn’t terrifically happy being the centre of the conversation about the difference between transgendered, gay, etc etc. But that was the most uncomfortable he’s been about it (and I’m betting there were boys way more uncomfortable than he was that day 🤣). We’re doing something right, my sisters in Ontario say that bullying of all sorts is still really common there. It’s kinda a no brainer….
My kid was insolent, disrespectful, defiant, oppositional, disruptive, angry, punched/kicked holes in walls, was attention seeking, was highly distracted, very moody, wouldn't apologize to save his life, and lacked accountability... but he wasn't an animal abuser, arsonist, or thief, and he didn't hurt other kids; he loved animals and babies. I was at my wits end with him, so many times, wondering what I was doing wrong. He was getting kicked out of every daycare and suspended from school at an early age. Through it all, I loved him with all my heart and soul; even though, I have to admit that I didn't always like him (I just never told him that). I never gave up on him, and I was always there for him, and he always received lots of love and affection. When I had to discipline him, I made sure he understood why he was in trouble, and made it a point to talk to him about it, and let him know I still loved him. Still, he acted like he hated me; he was so awful to me at times. He saw a psychiatrist, but I didn't want him medicated. He saw counselors and refused to participate. He's 26 today, and honestly, he didn't really change his ways until he was about 22. Now, you'd never know he was ever that difficult kid/angry young man; he is so much different. Not sure what happened, or why and how he changed, but he did, and we're all happier for it. I'd like to think that he just outgrew it, and then grew up. I'm glad, yet baffled.
Sounds like ADHD. Boys with ADHD can be a nightmare. It tends to calm down especially when they have their own needs met in life. But trying to meet those needs for them as a child is practically impossible especiallywhen you don't know what you are doing. Them being verbally nasty and impulsive is part of it. I knew a mum with a child like that and would get up in the middle of the night and raid the cupboards. Not to eat. Just to raid them and put the contents all over the floor. He was 4. . He was a lovely lad but containing him in a daycare situation was dam near impossible. If you told him off he'd go ballistic. So you had to basically do it in a very nice way. Their brains are wired to not really understand rules. That's why they are so impulsive. We basically had to never give in to him. but also not punish him. It just got into a battle that you'd never win. He was a smart kid as well.
Life as an adult took his arse behind the dumpster and straightened him out probably and THEN he had a "coming to Jesus" moment where he realized everything you did was to prepare him for THAT moment and he woulda have never probably been behind the "dumpster" in the first place had he not been such a turd! Kids don't realize what we're doing, why we're doing it and we're doing it out of love until they hit adult hood and LIFE gets a hold of them! They THINK they know it all and then real life slaps the taste out of their mouth lol! Discipline is basically a watered down version and imitation of what's going to happen to them in real life if they mess up! I tell my son better to get grounded then end up in prison! Better a spanking than a death sentence! Better to get your stuff taken away than ending up homeless and etc. It's ALL a lesson on what they will face in the future! The problem is they don't have to work, pay bills and face the fears and anxiety as well as sleep deprivation we do over the later! They just get to have fun and do school work and chores and they think that's actually doing something! You did the right thing and it paid off! Respect!
I’m wondering if there is some kind of physical developmental issue in the brain with pressure in parts of certain area that could cause this or an undeveloped part of the hippocampus.
As a therapist for over 27 years, I really enjoy listening to you as there’s always pieces to continue to grow from and pick up in terms of the therapy process and diagnosis. Thank you for your insightful information🌻
This was always a fear of mine every time one of my children were born. Idk why.lol.😥 Luckily they are all very kind hearted. One is overly empathetic. I love your videos
1. Bedwetting 2. Fascination with fire 3. Hurting small animals 4. Stealing from friends and loved ones 5. Ignoring another crying child 6. Being dominant with authority figures e.g teachers 7. Commiting crime 8. Desire to see disturbing images 9. Fearless of consequences 10. Desire to cause fear 11. Poor parenting
People like that is the reason the elites start wars. It's a way to ship the scum off and have them return in flag draped coffins. It's a legal way of killing them and a way to clean up society. We need our entire front lines filled with our sociopaths and psychopaths and with equipment that doesn't work. Let them all be mowed down.
As to bed wetting, just as children grow at different rates, each child grows organs at a different rate. Small bladders mean they need to be pottied more often. We had a child with a small stomach. She was fed 7 times a day. The hardest part of raising her was explaining to siblings that they were also special but they did not need to eat so often. We had good results in getting them to "remind" us that it was time to feed their little sister. They are all grown up and while her tummy did grow up too she still prefers to nibble her way through the day.
Yes you are correct. I had a bed wetting problem when I was young, but only when we visited my Grandparents, and nobody could figure it out. Maybe it was the unlimited amount of soda we could drink in any flavor possible, like pineapple etc, which we all gorged on. Sugar holds water in the body. Yep, that was it, and I only figured it out when I became an adult.
This video is old, and others have already commented similarly, but I have to say, when you consider how much "free" advice there is on UA-cam, it's heartening to know there is a doctor (I mean you, Dr. Grande) who will research a question at length before answering. So many instant experts here and on the web in general - wonderful to get a thoughtful, researched reply. This is now my mental health go-to channel. No drama, no disturbing images for kicks and clicks, just solid, trustworthy information presented calmly and intended to truly educate and enlighten. There is so much shallow entertainment out there masquerading as "advice" it's scary. It's hard to make scholarly and intellectual information easily understood and accessible but you do. I think the quality of this channel is reflected in the comments section, too, as your viewers are the same kinds of thoughtful, intelligent people whose thoughts I enjoy reading.
Excellent way to talk about one of the points - psychopaths DO, sometimes learn to follow some rules - when it benefits them. Therefore, psychopathy can hide itself - can be under cover; so - don't think that just because someone seems to be adhering to some boundaries, that they are "normal". If you think something is off - it probably is!
@@jaycrib303 Have not watched in a while, but my impression is that is not on the list, but rather an example. No, I did not murder anyone. I did check off the serialized list when I previously watched it and recognized behaviors of my own in the elaboration of each bullet point.
Developing psychopathy can happen easier than people might think. It’s important to keep positive people around you. I’m from an abusive family and in my adult years it’s brought out a lot of anger and resentment in me. I’m trying to cope and I’ve always been naturally friendly but sometimes I have very apathetic feelings towards human beings. I know it’s probably not healthy but I don’t really know how to change the way I feel.
@Abusive Potential nah “most” are not born. Where are you even getting that from lol. Most of us have done psychopathic things as kids and something ended up changing us and making us at least develop some empathy so that we can end up normal. Some people just didn’t get that chance. Psychopathic adults are just people who never grew up. They never developed empathy so they are stuck in that childlike state.
@Abusive Potential To add to this, All psychopaths are born. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes abnormal apathy (or lack of empathy). It’s the sociopaths that are made. Although these disorders are more common in males, females can develop sociopathy too. The main causes are trauma from a young age (sexual or physical abuse, maybe even witnessing something gruesome such as beatings or even a murder). Most psychopaths and sociopaths show telltale signs of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Unfortunately, there’s no specific medication for these types of serious mental issues. Studies have shown that medication for ADHD, mood and anxiety disorders, or thought disorders can reduce behavioural problems and symptoms of psychopathy/sociopathy, but this doesn’t work for everyone.
Same! I use to try and not step on ants cause I felt sorry for them. I use to think “I must be a scary giant to them” 😂 kids brains are usually so innocent and funny
I used to crush them. One time I turned it into a game and only stopped when there were too many and got scared. Stopped after that. Years later stepped on an ant accidentally and felt horrible. Which makes sense. During all that ant killing i was also the kid who saved a snail during a rainy day. Anyways few years later I became fine with ant murder again. Guess it was just a random flash of empathy which I get sometimes (compared to normal where I don't really feel it. Probably just my autism though). It always happens in the weirdest places.
One of the most interesting articles I have ever read on psychopathy was n the subject of why psychopaths seem to do "better" in society as opposed to neurotics. The article was an analysis of MMPI findings and the conclusion was that neurotics suffer much more anxiety than psychopaths and this hinders them socially.
I appreciate your extra research into psychopathy before recording this video. I have CPTSD from the first 15 years of my childhood, and have recently learned a lot from watching Bessel Van Der Kolk videos on childhood trauma. I am an INFJ personality and often have insight into the body language of friends, and strangers. My mother was a malignant narcissist, and possibly, psychopathic. I hold my mother and compliant father responsible for destroying the lives of myself and three siblings. At 74 years old, I seem to have finally crossed the starting line in my development as a person.
I’m sorry to hear that Edward but I feel that it’s never too late to develop as a person. It’s encouraging that you are moving in a positive direction.
Thanks for the recommendation. I will check him out. I’m always looking for videos on healing from childhood trauma. Oh wow. I’m an INFJ too and my mom was a vulnerable narcissist and my dad was/is her devoted follower. Our house was like the worlds smallest cult. My sister and I were extremely abused and twisted and manipulated. It has led me to be very confused and messed up in life, including being severely depressed and suicidal. But I am working on it.
The sheer organization of this video is astounding. I love that the descriptions of these signs, too, all come to us from a science-based format that Dr. Grande ALWAYS provides, no matter the topic. If only the political arena were as fair and unbiased as Dr. Grande!
The kid next door back where I grew up definitely displayed all of these signs. He joined the army and trained as a paratrooper, and he adapted well to army life and made a career out of it. He never committed any crimes to my knowledge. 1. I don't know if he wet the bed at all, but he peed on our dog at least twice. 2. He had a fascination with fire and would frequently steal toilet rolls to set them on fire outside. Granted, I really enjoyed it too, and we gathered a big pile of paper in a nearby sandbox and lit it on fire. It was pretty great! 3. I have no idea if he hurt any mammals, but we used to capture all sorts of insects and he used to put bees in the freezer to slow them down to safely remove their wings and watch them crawl around. I remember him also torturing a big snail to death. 4. Yeah, he lied and manipulated people all the time. I especially hated when he passed blame for his actions onto me... 5. He wasn't fazed by others in distress. I remember crying myself when my bike broke after falling over, and he ended up getting mad at me. 6. He showed a lot of dominance against authority figures. He often refused to cooperate altogether, and even tackled a teacher to the ground at elementary school. 7. A family living next to us went on vacation, and soon we realized one of their windows had been vandalized. The kid told me he actually broke in to the house by going through the window and said he took (read: stole) some of the toys that were in the house. He got a few cuts on his hand from the broken window, and he said he went home and cried to his mother and said he fell over and cut himself. They believed him... 8. We had our own desks at school when we were like 8-10, and he kept this cut out image of a prop corpse inside of the cover of his desk. He also linked some gore videos to me when we were just ~12, and it was quite horrifying to me at least. I don't know if he had a desire to look at it, but at least he did look at it. 9. He didn't care about any punishment. He was removed from the class every week for disruptive behaviour, and got a bunch of detention. He also seemed quite fearless when it came to pain, as he sometimes simply told us to hit him as hard as we could. We did (on his stomach/shoulders) and he just seemed proud about taking the punches. 10. He did bully a little, but it was mostly about physical dominance instead of psychological tormenting. He developed a tough reputation back in elementary school, but when we were 13 and moved to different schools, he got introduced to kids who didn't know about his reputation and he was viciously attacked by some of the new kids. He reacted by bringing a knife to the school the next day and by threatening everyone who teased him. After that, he became a complete loner who was not bullied, but wasn't anyone's friend either. 11. His parents were divorced and he lived with his neglectful mother. He always said his mom was out most nights with her friends and came home drunk. I don't think he was abused at all, but he didn't have a father figure and his mother wasn't very responsible. I haven't talked to him in years, but I did see him a few times after reaching adulthood. He's relatively unemotional, but seems very attentive and extremely disciplined -- sort of like a "super soldier". He could be a psychopath, but I don't think he's a danger to anyone (or at least not to civilians). I always thought he joined the army due to becoming a loner at age 13. I feel he just wanted a place to belong, and a place with structure and reliability -- something he didn't have when growing up. But maybe he joined the army to live out some violent fantasies. Who knows. "They are natural leaders who will motivate other soldiers to kill. They are also fiercely competitive and will aggressively pursue victory." -US Army Major David S. Pierson on "natural killers"
There is an excellent book called "The Psychopath Next Door." Many walk amongst us every day. Not all psychopaths are killers or criminals by any means but serial killers are generally psychopaths. It is written by Jeremy Torie and is excellent (if not terrifying). I believe a film was made about the book. Also "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout.
I remembering learning that the vast majority of psychopaths do not actually commit any crimes, so he could very well be a high-functioning psychopath. I'm glad he managed to get his life together and I hope he's doing okay, emotionally
I have an older sister who has hated me all my life. I am in my 60s and she still hates me. She told my other sister that when I was born she loved me but after a few months she hated me. She was very mean and abusive and did cause me a great deal of fear. My other sister was abusive in an I don't care about you way. She was very passive aggressive. My parents were very dysfunctional. Our whole family was. My mother was very abusive and psychotic--hallucinating, making up stories that were not true and believing that they were, raging, etc. My father was in denial about all of it. I'm the youngest of 3 children. It is amazing that my oldest sister still hates me but I am very grateful that we are estranged because her behavior has never seemed normal to me and I find her to be frightening. It's terrible what can happen to people.
Nearly a year later, I wish you all you deserve. I do hope you are settled now and that such a traumatic childhood is behind you. There is absolutely no shame in going non-contact. Value yourself by having nothing to do with anyone, your sisters included, who bring you down. Never let yourself be belittled or intimidated by another person, you are so much better than them. I wish you happiness.
If a child exhibits these 11 traits, it’s a definite indication that they require immediate help. How often have you read about the “nice quiet boy”, the introspective boy who keeps to himself while developing private obsessions eventually falls prey to the ultimate anomie? That’s another trait. A lot of these serial killers are very quiet and unsuspecting in youth and they’re quiet because they don’t want anybody to know they have manifested a dark and disturbing fantasy.
I am so so so so relieved while I listen to this and reflect on my boys... who go out of their way to arrange and cuddle all their soft toys, making sure each one receives equal attention. who love animals and smaller children, who don’t bed wet and aren’t at all interested in fire! Thank the Lord!!! I am so grateful I have nonpsycopathic kids!!!!
@@chilliecheesecake Nah. I never get invited to parties. People say that I cause too much fights and chaos. Most people stay away from me because many think I am a serial killer.
My son who is now 21 had/has all these signs. I kept telling his therapists and phycologists about his issues including killing small animals (pets). He was so manipulative he made me seem like I was overreacting and I needed the help. 3 pets he killed and who knows what he did that I had no idea about. Now that he’s an adult I feel like I owe the world an apology for setting him loose on society, I know he’s capable of terrible things. You know how they always interview the family after a tragedy and they always say I never thought my kid was capable of doing something so horrific? That won’t be me, I know and I’ve been telling every professional we saw since he was 3 that something was very very wrong.
I’m so sorry you’ve endured this. You are not responsible for him, and it is not your fault. This sounds like a nature problem, not a nurture problem. Hopefully he can be one of those who immerses himself in productivity that can quell his harmful and criminal behaviors. If he can’t, it certainly is not your problem, anymore than a stranger who does bad things.
I know exactly what you mean. I am also the mother of such a child. Be careful. If your child isn’t dead, or in prison,you are still in his sights. Watch out for identity theft. My daughter ruined both my mother and myself financially with that. She spent $12,000 in one month, using my 80 year old mother’s credit card. I finally had to bring mother home with me to keep my daughter from burning her house down, with her in it, to collect the insurance. Their schemes get more sophisticated as they get older.
My brother hurt small animals when we were growing up and thought it was so funny… he grew up and stole money from family all the time, my dad mainly. Got on drugs real bad, has been in and out of jail and prison his whole life. Stole cars, stole random things from family. Broke into my dads and stole nearly 3000$ from him not even caring the consequences. Got into trouble nonstop growing up . Got into a lot of fights, failed school, tried to set the kitchen on fire and blamed it on someone braking in but his clothes smelled like gasoline and he tried to throw them away in the trash like noone would find it, ran away from home numerous times, robbed a few stores, lied about every little thing when we were growing up . Stole 600$ from our grandparents before. Now he’s spending his life in prison for having felony after felony. It’s very sad but I’ve known since we were kids that something was wrong.
I'm in my thirties now and I still can't believe I didn't end up a violent psychopath. My parents were very neglectful of me when I was growing up. Dad was (and still is) a massive drunk who never spends a single second sober if he can help it, and my mother was so unhappy being married to him and having to raise us that she would normally come home from work and just go straight to the couch (her bed basically) and go catatonic. My little brother by 4 years was an incredibly violent, rage filled child who often attacked me. My earliest memories are of me running away from him after he became angry and would immediately run to the kitchen to grab a knife. I would run to my bedroom and had to physically hold the door shut against him until he calmed down. He even went so far as to stick the knife under the door to try to stab my foot in case i was blocking the door with it. I was regularly bullied all through elementary school (not much, but no friends and it was enough to hurt) but then we moved to a small town at the end of my 6th grade year, and started going to that towns school. Not only was i physically attacked on my very first day and was constantly bullied by several truly evil children in my class, but the teachers and staff were almost worse. My English teacher was a drunk who spent half the class with her head planted on her desk, my history teacher kept the classroom at like 90 degrees, was always blood red, and would go on screaming rants where he'd yell at us and randomly throw stuff, and the vice principle decided to by my nemesis. Whenever I would go to staff for help with my bullying he would turn it around on me, make it my fault, and call my bullies into the office with us basically so he could show them who was tattling on them. I was so traumatized after 2 years of that I had to homeschool for two years because when summer vacation was winding down I was having legit nervous breakdowns and begged to not have to go back. Put all that together and I truly don't know how I didn't end up a revenge seeking monster. Instead I constantly worry what negativity my actions might have on people. I double and triple check my actions to make sure they are appropriate, I constantly go out of my way to be polite and considerate, moderate my tone and word choice, all so I can avoid causing any offense to anyone. And the only reason I can come up with is: I grew up with a lot of pain, and the absolute last thing I ever want to do is make others feel pain. I know what it's like, it hurts, it traumatizes, it drove me to an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I could NEVER live with the guilt if I knew I passed all that pain on to someone else, and made them hurt, made them give up. I'm proud to say I'll be a 100% pacifist till the day I die
@@Adam-wc5ol would you please shut up? He's a great human being and no religion has saved him till now. What's the use of your religion for him? To lable others as kafir or mushrik? Would you please shut your mouth? Please.
As a child I was extremely indifferent to emotions of others, sometimes callous but more as a spectator and had no desire to hurt or help people. I realized that my actions were a direct result of how my parents treated me. I think a lot of kids start out on this path with horrible home lives, then they grow out of it. Ever since I had my kids I have never been that person, and did a complete 180. I think sometimes kids are made this way, while others are born to it. I've showed my kids lots of love and empathy and they are the children that maybe I could have been under different circumstances. On a side note I'm close with a family who has a child who did torture animals, beat another child unprovoked and would soil themselves on chairs, couches, floors as a preteen. Parents are good people but dad is in complete denial about their kids behavior and mom is too embarrassed to seek help.
Unfortunately that means that parents are not good people beacouse the most important role of the parents is to raise good children that will be capable to bring good to the community,world etc.
I had all those traits as a child. I bedwetted until I was around 12 years old, loved gore images since I discovered the internet (around 7) and would steal from anyone, including my own mom. I was very neglected at the time. My childhood sucked and now as a teenager I try to feel more empathy towards people, but it's very hard
Hay you are able to feel something. I would suggest to surround yourself with people that will love you for who you are and want nothing in return, seeing the good in them could make more of your good come out. Jesus loves you🌝
I’m probably revealing more than I should, but I had a lot of these traits as a young child-especially the first three (McDonald’s or “Dark” triad). In addition, I stole toys from close childhood friends, beat a teacher with a belt and so on… Probably the most disturbing thing I did was coerce classmates to pantomime sex acts in the bathroom at school (pre-kindergarten). I got caught and my parents had to come to the school to talk to my teacher (I loved this teacher who also took me to see Star Wars in 1977). Later, I’d touch other older and younger kids inappropriately etc… Now, at the exact same time, I also had tremendous and overwhelming empathy for animals. I would never kill bugs or spiders. I’d always set them free outside, but I’d sometimes hurt a small dog or cat. I beat a teacher with a belt in class, but was very close with other teachers. I set fires, but, as a little kid, I put out a house fire I came home to after school (my sister left a lot on the stove and left the house). I’m saying all this to say that I had a mean step-father who beat me for anything. I know this sounds unlikely but I think those beating s kept me from becoming a monster. Some may say it was abuse and actually contributed to my disturbing traits but I disagree. I think if it were not for him constantly riding my behind, forcing me to play sports, do crazy chores and get good grades, I’d be a horrible horrible person. I still have disturbing thoughts but I “outgrew” the bed wetting, fire obsession and animal abuse before age 10. Still, I’m disturbed but I may have experienced (that I cannot remember) as a small child to make those impulses so strong. Now I have a healthy fear of consequences. I care about others and animals especially. I can still be quite cold and detached however. As usual, your ability to explain complex subjects in a way that non-professionals can easily understand is remarkable. Thanks Dr. G! Happy 2023!
So timely. Many, many families attribute any slightly maladaptive behavior to “ psychopathic”..... overlooking Autism, ASD, etc. Also, the mere suggestion of “ fire- setting” or any harm to an animal/ bird/ insect equalsPAST HOPE. Very frustrating and frightening. I am actually REFERRING folks to your site. Bless you.
Also mrs Macca, many parents are quick to label more noticeable juvenile behaviours as ASD, ADHD, or bilpolar; but refuse to take time to consult with experts and consider how their parenting (or lack thereof) may be contributing to their child’s/ children’s behaviours.
I've come to the conclusion that the absence of love and affection as a child is possibly the most damaging factor... How is person supposed to understand healthy relationships if neglect is the model that they have normalized for them? Indeed, if they are taught callousness, bullying, etc, as standard, then it's no small wonder that this behaviour then becomes habitual for the child. I'm a firm believer in the idea that all behaviour is learnt, and that goes for habitual thought, too.
All behavior cannot be learnt, I refuse to believe that and here is my anecdote why . I was adopted into an extremely violent household. Two of my earliest memories are getting a cigarette put out in my eye and cleaning up someone's blood after my adoptive mom sliced there face open. As an adult now I'm very numb go violence but I'm not a violent person. Now I finally got to meet my real mother at age 27 and guess what? I am a spitting image of her in not only looks but personality. Same hobbies, same interest, same humor and even same speech patterns. I am my mothers son all the way. I've always thought about nature vs nuture and after meeting my real blood I would say nature has a true effect. Also for clarity, my birth mother gave me up at birth so I had no time to pick up these traits around her.
While I agree that an otherwise healthy and neurotypical child can be damaged and traumatized by abuse, behaviour is not all "nuture". My sister and I were raised by the same parents and have different emotional responses and triggers (pretty stable, loving, but sometimes flawed parents who both of us love a lot). There are children who are not neurotypical and can be helped greatly by good parenting and school supports, but they never (or rarely become "normal". And there are people born without typical emotional/psychological features who will never be productive members of society. Parenting and social conditioning plays an enormous role, but the starting point for how those children will inevitable function is innate. There are also a good many loving, productive, people who had terrible childhoods. Innate personality matters.
@@shieh.4743 If your opinion is firm, then you won't be influenced by anything I have to say. However, the experiences of of your sister and yourself are not identical [I haven't assumed you're male, incidentally]... parents behave towards the genders differently, for a start. Each of you would have different circles of friends, different influences. And so on. The formula has too many variables to suggest that the same parentage should produce identical results. Similarly, a handful of apparently key events will not necessarily impact two people in the same way. In short, there is no way to disprove either theory, which is why the argument rages on. PS why would being a productive member of society be the measure of a good person?
If you ever wonder what someone's abuser is like, just look to see what that person has normalized. And it can be a bitch to navigate the world when you have become numb to some things.
This brought up some kinda freaky memories from my childhood. When I was three/four, a neighbor boy used to do things I didn’t like. He’d kill animals like frogs and lizards we’d find in our yards. He was always trying to find matches because he liked to light them. He’d break my toys and laugh about it. He NEVER listened to adults. He was always in trouble at home, but punishment never upset him or caused him to correct his behavior. Thankfully, his family moved when we were about to start kindergarten, so I didn’t have to deal with him. I remember my mother being fairly relieved that the family moved, too. His mother ALWAYS sent him over to our house to play, so I think my mother was relieved to be rid of the kid. This all happened back more than 50 years ago. I wonder whatever happened to him. The next time I visit my parents, I’ll have to ask my mother about this to see if she remembers any of this. All I know is that I haven’t thought about this kid in years. Interesting what things we lock away in our heads.
Dr. Grande this discussion was so well presented, and so very timely, thank you. It was also quite chilling on a personal level. My friend has an 8 year old grandson who exhibits almost all of these behaviors. The daughter, the boys mother, won’t share the truth with the boys’s counselor. He has two little sisters and bullies them and violent to the little girls. No one deals with him. He talks about guns and knives. He takes knives from their holders and chases his mother or he’ll put it to his throat. It’s a nightmare and so sad on so many levels.
Please. YOU must report him. You will save Ives. Also. In Irvine CA there's a Dr. Amen: he and his clinic can read the human brain's construction by M. R. I. Dr. Amen's own grandson had a small tumor. When the tumor was removed...the grandson's eractic behavior was eleviated. Good success to you!!! Gregg Oreo long beach ca
Both the mother & grandmother Must share this violent behavior of this boy to the counselor and/or remove him from the home. These poor girls Do Not deserve this! Geez! Just how important are the girls' safety?? They are human beings with inherent human rights. They are equal as human beings, are more vulnerable, and require more protection. By default, the girls are already being failed by caregivers who can but yet won't intervene. Inexcusable! The girls will be permanently traumatized. Someday, they will resent all of the adults who failed them, blame them possibly for life. Plus, they'll be set up for future unhealthy / abusive relationships. This is coming from me, who resents both of her parents for the abuse suffered. I sometimes felt that my mom didn't care enough about me. I am permanently traumatized & even resent the Church for failing me. Why does God give children to bad & undeserving parents, especially when religion is involved?? I hope He cares when children suffer & survive & grow up permanently broken!
@@christyviolet926 I am so sorry that you have suffered and been abused in your life. It makes me sad that you have suffered. There’s no glib response that could fill in any of the “whys” that you have. No one, especially the Lord, wants little ones to be hurt or preyed upon, or suffer. It was not okay what happened to you. Some people do very bad things for reasons that we cannot fathom…and especially to little ones. It is written, “Touch not, hurt not one of these little ones, for it would be better for them if a millstone was tied around their neck and they be thrown into the sea, and drown, than for them to hurt one of these little ones.” That is a very big warning to anyone who would hurt a child. We don’t have the luxury or the right to witness the response of such heinous behavior. But the Lord, who is judge, He shall be the witness. It is sufficient. We who have been traumatized by those people, must take a different path…one of choosing to walk towards healing. Healing doesn’t just happen. At some point in your day, remember that you are not defined by the atrocities that happened to you, but by the choices you make. You are a unique and precious presence on this planet. Celebrate that you draw breath and that you are wonderfully made…no one can take anything from you that the Lord gave you. Remember that…rediscover who you are and let the “why” you are here, unfold gently, like raindrops on rose petals…until you can receive and hold all the love and beauty around you…and savor it…and then share it with others.
@@sharonhagen6362 Thank you, with all of my heart, for being the only other person, besides my husband, for validating my residual pain. In fact, you validated all of us who were abused, Betrayed, bullied, & traumatized. Where other "Christians" try to explain away or oversimplify, and wind up minimizing this, you don't. You represent the best of the Church body, as it actually should be. God bless you. 🌹
@@christyviolet926 thank you for your kind words. I treasure them! Christina, I believe that you are on the threshold of a very new and sweet season in your life. Give yourself the freedom to practice feeling joy, and know that it’s not going to be snatched from you! Remember this, the Lord has a sense of humor, and He delights when His children learn new things…it’s never too late to have a happy childhood (it just takes practice)! Big hug to you and know that I will pray for you and your husband. God bless you dear one!
My sibling wet the bed until she was at least 11, had a diary around the ages of 9-14 where she expressed hating people and wanting them dead. She has always had anger issues... a couple of years ago she killed a pet out of rage. She’s now a mother. She is very anti-social and is passive , she takes to social networks to express her hatred for the people around her... and would rather start an argument via text then just having a normal conversation. Unfortunately, I have had to limit my desire to bond with her.
Why do you know what's written in her diary? Maybe other people overstepped her boundaries and for her there was no other way out of that toxic bond but to act out in a way that would make other people back off. It seemed to have worked pretty good.
This is a tough call because this woman sounds toxic. On the other hand, her kids may be in danger and so it may be in their interest if you were still around and involved in their lives.
It's hard for me to comprehend how someone's mother could turn a blind eye, but in the case of a cousin, she did. At age 5, he'd already set 2 houses on fire, was caught drowning a neighbor's kittens, played with knives, and was also a bed wetter. She always made excuses. He's already done hard time for other things, more than once. As far as I know, he hasn't murdered anyone (yet), but is the type if/when he does, no one would ever find the body. He never got therapy - she didn't "believe" in it.
Sounds like what I observed with my Brothers wife and son. The Son actually murdered my brother. Date rape drugged and the plastic bag over his head causing him to suffocate
@Brigid Fitch Sometimes children who wet the bed have other physiological problems such as a bladder that hasn't caught up to the rest of their bodies. I think it's a bit wreckless to bunch bed-wetting in with psychopathy.
Thank you dr. Grande. This is so interesting and helps explain the behavior of a couple of people I’ve known. I could have avoided some bad problems for myself if I’d been more aware that some people just aren’t fixable.
The kindest thing we can do for not only our children but also for society, our community is to be reflective of ourselves. Instead of feeling entitled to just have kids, ask yourself, can I afford emotionally & financially to raise a child on my own if there was a worst case scenario-mental problems or physical problems? Incredible stress without any support to either or both child/parent stopped me from ever wanting to get pregnant. I didn't ever want a child of mine to suffer the way I did because my mother told me she never wanted children. My mother had narcissistic personality disorder. I made sure that wouldn't be repeated with me. I never regretted my decision, in fact I'm relieved. I even think "worst case scenario" before even adopting a pet!
If every woman thought like that before pregnancy we'd would be facing extinction. Shout out to the drunk girls that would be keeping the earth populated 😂😂😂😂
This would drop number of newborns to a crazy low. In a productivity crazed world, you have to produce every week with high consistency. If you have a difficult child you simply can't work that level as you will struggle with your own mental health. So babies are born because people just cross their fingers that it's gonna be okay.
I have a cousin with all of these symptoms. Since he's been born, his parents haven't really taken care of him. They haven't been "neglectful", but they've always been more free-range than anything else, allowing him to do whatever he wishes. Whenever he was 3, he'd chunk his toys, and even knives, at people who were just sitting down on the couch, just minding their own business. No matter how many times he got punished for it, he'd do it over and over again to everyone, and laugh every single time. He also started to torture and hurt animals, and when they bit back at him, he'd cry, and blame it on the animals for it all, and his parents would believe him. One time, on my 17th birthday, we were all at the river catching little minnows. He was 4 around this time, and there was a fish that jumped out of the bucket that we kept the minnows in. He grabbed a bottle nearby and kept on hitting the fish until it's body was torn up and splattered everywhere, and when I tried to stop him, he told me he'd kill me, and that he hated me. He said that a lot to people. He often told people, and still does, that he'd kill them and hurt them. The way he acts doesn't only extend to animals, however. He and my younger brother, who's about his age, are often forced to hang out because they're family. So many times, he's hurt my little brother for no reason at all. He could do it right in front of you, and still blame the other kid for why he did it, despite having no reason at all. He does it just to get a laugh. Even aside from my brother, when his baby sister was born, we noticed that she had scratches and bites on her, probably from him being jelous. When they were bathing one time, he fed her his poop, knowing that she would eat it because she's a baby. He's 5 now, and although he may not seem as bad as he always has been, he still is. He's just learned to hide it. I feel that as he grows older, he'll develop into a psychopath. Sorry guys for this long rant. I just wanna see what other people think of it.
Thank you for addressing such an important topic. I have a relative who has been diagnosed with these same things. Trauma in childhood, killing animals, watching endless videos of death, in all forms, and the last was arson. Soon we will know what the court decides the outcome is. I try and learn all I can on this subject. To try and understand the actions and behaviors. He clearly does not think of any outcome from his actions. Have seen it over and over. Gets out, does the same thing. More on these topics would be helpful. Again, thank you, Very well done.
While the Doctor explained his list of symptoms I thought how well such a child would have performed in the dangerous world of our ancestors. The stone age which lasted far longer than our present civilisation. Probably some of the kind were just fit to be leaders and Kings..
@@NickVenture1 I wish it could be always that easy ... Not everyone at the army are psycho, this is way many soldiers use to suffer heavy traumas. Also not all psychos likes to fight at war, most are quite cowards, they prefer to move on civil life, harming good people for free, just because they are such a sadists . So sad and frightful
@@SA-rn4ex Yes. Of course. There are so many different cases, circumstances, personalities that never can be applied one rule to everybody all along the history of human kind.The example of an A bomb dropping crew member going to play tennis after having blown up an entire city is not even intended to demonstrate a personality disorder! In the contrary! Rather to show that the definition of a mental disorder may not be that easy because actions which are for some cases evaluated as pathological aggressions and nuisances and lack of empathy when done "against the norm" may well be considered a beneficial activity and personality trait when destruction of humans appears to be part of an ordered mission in behalf of those fellows who will not be able to fulfill such orders because not everybody will be "fit" to do so. (Fitness to do so is the key here and matter of this demonstration aiming to suggest that a society will define the outcast personality with varying criteria depending on culture, events etc. I just want to give hints in order to increase the panorama when judgements and evaluations are done. And when some Doctors consider that a more turbulent acting child has symptoms of a kind of disorder. It may be most interesting to do further studies about the "rule of law" among early humans. How did they think about right or wrong, crazy or normal or graced with leadership qualities and bravery.
@@NickVenture1 Ar you said, "rule of law"it also depends on culture, contexts, sociality time lapse, government... different factors affecting. But that's not the matter if the video
I worked with a lot of kids with conduct disorder in a level 14 group home agency in CA. Most were severely abused or neglected early on in life. Some were tentatively labeled as aspd by their psychiatrists. Their behavior was extremely severe & troubling. One of the most dangerous, difficult jobs I've had. Thanks for this video, very interesting and informative.
@@BlackLabelSlushie I've seen the whole spectrum of extreme behavior from children because I worked for the highest level facility in California. Some examples of daily precautions we had to take were that every utensil, every room, every cabinet had to be locked at all times to prevent clients from hurting themselves or others. No glass allowed in the homes. Medication was monitored carefully. We had to perform physical restraints on kids daily t prevent them harming themselves or others. We had kids who would urinate or deficate and attack other children or staff with their bodily fluids. We had kids steal vehicles from staff while being transported. We had children stab staff members, attack them any way they could. Kids who would set fires, destroy property constantly just for any reason, kids who would bust up every wall in the house. We also had a lot of self harm front these kids. It was a very dangerous job as we were the last stop before the kids would be sent out of state to what was essentially a child prison.
It was a very emotionally and physically taxing job. I had several co-workers injured permanently working there (concussions and brain injuries) and I was punched in the face or had my hair ripped out more times than I remember. You learn to calculate behavior and be very aware of your surroundings, ave to deal with trauma and crisis in a very detached, clinical way. In a way it really numbed me to a lot of trauma and sad stuff I saw. There were some success stories, with some of the kids, which was rare but so rewarding. I still keep in touch with a few, 8 years later.
Wow. Excellent presentation. I’m a former child psych professor, family and child therapist / clinical psychologist. Your talk brought back memories of kids, and a family system that had a cold, callous father, in his 50s, a doctor, who had a 23 year old girlfriend. He asked me, before the marriage had ended, if he could bring the girl to family therapy. He told the children about her, without shame. They had two boys, aged 7 and 9. Often, after my meetings with the children, the mom would take them to the pet store for a hamster, guinea pig, mouse etc. One appointment, with just the boys, I commented that they must have lots of pets. The younger brother confessed that they really didn’t have many, because his older brother was always finding new ways to kill them. Feed to the dog, drown in the pool, run over with the lawnmower, etc. The mother was oblivious, and said that she had not caught on to the reason for the frequent disappearance of pets. She just replaced them. She also had hidden from herself, the affairs that her husband had been having for many years. He wanted to stay married, and be allowed to keep his young girlfriend, acting as though it was a perfectly reasonable arrangement. He also was openly racist, and taunted his wife for having dated a black football player in college. He was anti social, but high functioning in society. The wife asked the husband for a divorce, and he off on his merry way. The boy who was killing animals was sent to a specialist. I continued to work w the mom and boys for a few months, post divorce.
Very good video. Many parents fall into the denial trap that their child is some chosen one who’s perfect. Sometimes you have to humble yourself to get your child the support they need early on, so they can live a healthy life later.
There is Hope... I had literally EVERY feature you described as a child, I had childhood trauma also... I committed crime as a child, tortured and killed animals as a child, fought and beat people with bats as a child, I caused terrible arson as a child, and because of my fearlessness had childhood trauma... They put me on the states highest dose of adderall and ritalin to treat me. They also also used intense therapy and my parents moved me to a different town..I eventually got better in high school and I'm 30 now with a house, job, and good support... I would say I'm an empathetic sociopath now.. I used to just be extremely sociopathathic, but I definitely know and understand empathy...The sociopathathic side of me though became a heroine addict but I'm recovering...My parents did the best they could with me honestly, and I did ALOT of horrible things as an adolescent and adult to people, but I'm getting better....Love ALL and care for these children and show them love and they can lead successful lives...
Yes there is! I’ve had all these signs to the dot. I am now seeking therapy and trying to teach myself proper English. I am quite illiterate since I didn’t pay attention much in school. It’s not as bad but I have no idea how to use commas.. colons and all that stuff
Yes, there's hope. Edgar Allan Poe, according to one of his stories, apparently abused a cat terribly. He regretted it, eventually. Knowing his history, I suspect alcohol was involved.
I hope you're doing well with kicking heroin. I've been an addict for nearly 30 years now, it's a bastard of a life. I'm not strong enough to get through detox, no matter how I try.
I am so glad that I found this video. I have a 21 year old son who was diagnosed when he was just 8 with ASPD. I took him to this psychologist because he was having problems in school with class work. She did a brain scan and after a week called me in and the office simply handed me an envelope with the diagnosis in it. No feed back, suggestions, or even a meeting with the psychologist. I tore up the diagnosis and wrote her off as a quack. My son was difficult to raise and would often argue with me over rules and boundaries but never displayed the types of characteristics that you discribe in your video. Fast forward, I just went through a 3 year divorce from hell and found that I had been emotionally, and financially abused by my ex. My son's behavior got out of control. Arrests (which were hidden from me), drug and alcohol abuse and constant breaking of rules that I set. I finally asked him to leave and he is now living with the "fun parent". He rarely speaks to me and when he does he is verbally abusive. He seems pretty miserable to me and I was afraid that he had his fathers' characteristics. He may or he may just be acting out but at least now I know he doesn't present as having ASPD.
@@SuperMisteryMan01 Yes, thank you. It took four years but things are slowly improving. Once he moved out of his father's house he started talking to me again and even came for the Holiday's this year. It is a slow process but he seems to be much more respectful toward me and even said he loved me.
(B.A. in Psychology) This has been an interest of mine since college, thank you for this. Though I’m convinced that I had my first experience with a psychopath when I was a little kid. So was she, she was about two years older than me and the only one close to my age who happened to live in the same neighborhood as me. I’ll especially never forget the empty, resentful look she had in her light blue eyes. The ways she would act out would be impulsively violent like slapping other kids who crossed her almost without missing a beat. From what my mother later said, she also acted out in some ways that were suggestive of past sexual abuse or exploitation. Like there was one time when she was placing my objects on various parts of my body-not unclothed or anything but still-in weird ways and from what my mother later told me, my psychopath “friend” actually tried to do a Burlesque number in front of her. And she was just freaking eight! The final straw was one day when I was playing with her hair with my new toy comb and she got REALLY mad at me and literally yanked a chunk of my hair directly out of my head and just left it there on my bedroom floor next to my bed. Then my mother said that my psychopath “friend” remarked-TO my mother-that I “needed to die”. I think that may have actually been her sick way of joking and she said that to get a kick out of my mother’s reaction. That’s a key thing about psychopaths-people’s negative reactions are entertainment to them. But with her own mental illness and incredible lack of social awareness at times, my mother took it as her literally threatening my very life and refused to let her anywhere near me anymore. And my dad very readily agreed. I think my parents did make the right decision there. Even if it was just the sick joke that I think it was, who knows if she could’ve actually tried to open the kitchen drawers next or something? Or what it could’ve escalated into next? Then there was this one nephew of my second ex-boyfriend’s who was already showing classic ASPD signs and he was just 10. He did like animals and there was a black lab that was considered to be his who was kept at the house. She even had a litter of puppies. And he didn’t particularly seem to go out of his way to hurt people. At least not for entertainment. And not directly, unless they crossed him. He did have his good moments, like letting my bf and I borrow his swimming towel for my bf and I to lie on when we took him and his brothers and their sister out for a swim at the local lake. He did once steal the cash in my wallet after I confronted him once but it was just the one time and it was back when I still had plenty of money to go around. So I didn’t make a big deal out of it. He did tear up when he was confronted but that’s not exactly unusual for some kids. But he seemed to think absolutely nothing of stealing and destroying other people’s stuff or of just taking off whenever he wanted to. He got arrested for stealing and stripping bicycle parts on his 11th birthday, too. Last I knew, he’s since served a bit of time in jail for getting caught with a 15-year-old girl when he was 18 and has been working as a farmhand since then.
Your mom and dad did the right thing to protect you. Sometimes the deviations, and sinful behaviors in humans are demonic in nature, meaning that there are demon powers behind those acts. We are not to go around judging people, but should keep this in perspective. Thank you for sharing. It is good to have a mother and a father who would step forward to keep us safe from harm.
Empathy My father saw all the examples that you listed in me and taught me an overabundance of empathy that is carried me through life I am too concerned with others so but that's not a bad thing
Thank you for your indepth coverage that is so helpful to medical professionals, teachers, counselors. I appreciate your presentations so much! At 70, I still love to learn-as a mom, grandmother, foster mom, adoptive mom, emergency shelter provider and nurse I feel its imperative to learn all I can to best help children .
My step granddaughter is a psychopath. No hospital will treat her until she is 12 in Oklahoma. She has tried to hurt us, our animals, and are just trying to defend ourselves. We have locked doors on all the bedrooms because she comes in at night to steal, break, etc. My daughter is about to have a meltdown. She was sent to us to live a dr ago when cops caught her in a sexual situation in a public park (totally her idea) I'm glad to have found your channel. I'm trying to learn as much as possible. Thanks.
Yes, my adopted daughter made mincemeat out of all the therapist, so manipulative. She throw out something as a distraction and we'd spend our whole hour talking about nonsense, things that actually didn't happen. Nothing would be accomplished. She would walk out laughing, proud of herself. Everyone always believed her. They never checked the facts, only took her at face value. No consequences mattered to her. She had massive trauma before we adopted her. They never saw her coming. She is an adult now but childhood was hell. There wasn't a home that could handle her. Everybody gave up on her and told me to also. They were trying to convince us to give her to cps but I refused. Too dangerous to stay in my home but I held on to my rights barely by a thread. Now as an adult she is doing good. She spent her childhood trying to get away from me. I spent it trying to hold on. Now she realizes that I was the only one that ever cared and has no idea why she did what she did. All the time I thought she was not learning and taking anything in of my morals in my values. Turns out she was storing it for later use. I made a difference after all. They can change a bit. She's not perfect but she can live in society and follow the rules. That's not something she could do before.
Better to have things work out for the best. You sound like such a strong person. Our daughter was a loving child and my best friend until about 25, when she started drinking. She fell and hit her head, bleeding to death last summer. They say it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, but I’m not so sure. Well done you, though. Maybe you’ll write a book?
You are an angel.
@@lisaschuster9187 A lot of people say that I should write a book but I'm not a writer and really my mind is mush from the stress. I can't think of anything until somebody actually asks me a question and then it comes flooding back in. I'm sure it's from the stress of it but I'm just glad that it's all over. You learn a lot about yourself and if you have a backbone when you go through something like this. I'm more someone on the quiet side that doesn't like to rock the boat. Ha ha ha I remember thinking crap, I'm gonna have to stand up and say something because they're not getting it. I had to psych myself up to speak up but it was either that or lose my child and I wasn't about to lose my child. Sure, I like looking crazy. LOL I grew a backbone and a voice. It was quite the experience. I would wish that on my worst enemy. I noticed the pattern that no matter what I said nobody would hear me. It was really weird. I countered that by getting other people to speak for me instead. For example, I took my daughter to a private psychiatrist and had an evaluation even though he wasn't on her state insurance. I use that to help hold them accountable to help my child. The only thing that kept my sanity was finding humour in what I was going through at the time. I'm an expert at holding on when there is no hope. This all tells me you need to follow your gut instinct because, in the end, everybody else was wrong about my child and I was right. So sorry to hear about your daughter. There's nothing you can say to make it any easier unfortunately. Hugs to you. I think that statement sounds very dismissive of your pain. Your gut is right about that.
I was advised by one of my psychiatrist supervisors (I'm a medical student) not to adopt children because he's seen too many kids with a family history of serious mental illnesses who go on to develop these illnesses and even the best adoptive parents have a really difficult time with managing some of these kids. I definitely don't share his attitude though and I think that's a really sad approach to take. Those kids have no parents and illnesses due to no fault of their own and they deserve a loving home like any other child. But it really changed the way that I think about people who choose to adopt. I'm still deciding whether I want to adopt a child myself in the future, but those who do so have my greatest admiration, you are angels on earth. Especially people who choose to take on a child who is known to have behavioural issues, that is the most selfless action anybody could ever take. Thank you!
@@monkiram The behaviours of the children are really tough. Honestly it was beyond anything I could imagine. I always figured that if there was no payoff and we were consistent in our discipline they would eventually get it and the behaviours would alter. Ha ha ha NO! That is the farthest thing from the truth. That's how normal kids work but when you have kids with mental health issues it's a hole different ballpark. What sad is your struggling to help your child but when you go through this as an adoptive parent, the mental health system looks at you as part of the problem. I feel very victimized Just from how I was treated, no respect at times. They're interpretation of me was that I was crazy because they didn't see the problem, my daughter was very good at hiding it at least at first with everyone. She couldn't hide it forever so the trick was just to hold on long enough before they started to see the behaviours. This what is really hard about this whole process isn't just what we went through it's what it did to my son. I really regret that part. We were so busy putting out fires that we didn't have the time to devote to him that I would have liked for his childhood. It's a good thing to consider before you jump into it. If you have a child that's high needs and high behaviours, what is that gonna do to your kids? I was very blessed to have a large support system so whenever my daughter had dark moods and I had to call the police I made sure that my son was with his grandma or aunt. I still feel terrible about it but at least I did the best I could. Luckily for me, it wasn't my son that she had issues with. She had mother figure issues so I was her target or anyone that was on a position to direct her or tell her no. If you have kids it's something to consider. I never looked at it from this angle but I should have considered it more. We really went in blind because I didn't grow up in a dysfunctional family so all of the narcissistic patterns that she picked up in her behaviours from the bio family were all new to me. There was definitely a learning curve and these kids are vicious with their accusations and lies. For example, if I didn't let her go out and play when she got home from school but made her do her homeworkfirst, she would pay us back. Her motto was I will make your life a living Hell and she actually could do it. In her warped mind we deserved it. False allegations to cps and other adults were her go to response because very few people ever check their facts. She would take pleasure in our discomfort of having to handle a difficult situation that she created. I remember when she was in 5th grade she had to stay in for lunch because she got in trouble. Well I kept thinking why are you so proud of this? She did it on purpose. The way she was telling it to me it seemed like a badge of honor. She said think about it mom, now the teacher has to stay in during her lunch hour and take care of me. I made it as difficult as possible so I ruined her lunch. She was proud of herself. It was pay back for something the teacher did. These kids think and draw conclusions differently. That was the biggest learning curve. I remember the psychiatrist telling me that the side who loves me that I thought was my daughter and who I was fighting for didn't exist, that was her manipulating me. The dark side was the real her. That hurt. That means the daughter I thought I knew and loved and bonded too really didn't exist? No I could not believe that. I definitely saw 2 sides of her. Her 5th grade teacher thought her personality was splitting and I definitely saw that split. There was one side that loved me and one side that would possibly kill me. There was a time when it was too dangerous for me to be alone with her. Her mind would blur possibly from the meds she was on and she would talk to me like I was her bio mom who abused her who she was angry with. As she got older, she would get more stable with her personality. I've not seen a dark side and quite some time. I'm still a little afraid of her, I'll be honest because I don't know if it ever went away. Hormones are what keeps her steady. I think it's htc or something like that. Women take it for weight loss. All the moods are gone as long as she takes it. I've been trying to get her to a nature path to have it more fully checked out but she's very cautious on who she goes to and sees, not trusting. I have to say I think the psychiatrist was wrong. My daughter does exist. They're not always right. There is a side of her that is bonded to me. I always knew In the end I'd pull her out of it because she had a soft loving side. Had a side that was loving and nurturing. At the age of 5 she was taking care of a brother and sister in diapers on the streets. She was the mother of them and of her mom in a weird reverse relationship. Her mom was an adict and gone for days at a time. That's what I drew upon, her nurturing side that I knew was there. Can you imagine going from a life like that where you were in charge and can do whatever you want to having to be a child in a home. She was never a child. She had a hip little game girl like attitude. A wild child that was not verbally directed. They really need to do a better job at evaluating these kids initially. Maybe that would of helped.
My youngest brother is a psychopath. He exhibited all 11 traits, including “poor parents” who ignored his problems because they did not want people to “find out.” As my brother got older, his crimes got more heinous, made the nationwide news, and my parents isolated themselves from the world. If you think sweeping your child’s psychological problems under the rug will save your reputation, think again.
That is so tragic. I hope you have gotten the support you need after growing up in this situation.
3:48 what about you? We'd like to know!
BED WETTER;( cousin Windy).. plus sibling Kinsey Christopher were 2 Trouble Brewers! Sadly their mother thought they were " cute". Cruelty to Animals+kids
Amen, I have a sister like this. It’s blowing up, literally the most spoiled child who believes they had the worst life. Somebody who thinks manipulating ppl rates ur level of intelligence. Yes. May God serve her justice for everything. In due time. God willing they get what’s coming to them
Get rid of him
Having a parent who is inconsistent is also very abusive. Never knowing how your parent will be from day to day. My mother was like that. She would be loving one day and the next become a raving lunatic.. She even threatened to kill us. We were often terrified of our mother. She was also a prescription drug addict, which no doubt added to the problem. My father was a cold man who was more interested in advancing his career and his own self image than what was happening to his children. I never felt "safe" anywhere, not even in my own home. I was extremely insecure in school, as well, was fearful of other children and cried a lot. I managed to grow past all this and put my life together. Now I've been married for many years and have children and grandchildren. I see myself as a fortunate survivor. My sister was not. She committed suicide at 43.
Very sorry to hear about your story. Glad to hear you now have a good life.
It's great that you have that resilience and survived. Unfortunate about your sister.
toxic parents i feel you i had bad childhood as well
please write a book
So sorry u had to go thru this, but I bet u r stronger now.GOD BLESS U ALWAYS
What the most disturbing thing is how callous ADULTS are to children by neglecting them emotionally.
it's truly awful. unfortunately, society has been stuck in a loop, repeating history and the mistakes of their own parents, somehow having the same harmful affects on their children as they experienced themselves. in their effort to avoid being like their parents, if they ever succeeded at becoming the polar opposite at all, they overcompensate and still, unintentionally, distance themselves. my mom began victimising herself in the eyes of my brothers and i the moment we were born. she made every single one of us feel responsible for her in one way or another. my older brother had it the worst, as he was made to look after us as a kid, and she put the burden of parenting and supervising us on him. meanwhile, with us younger two, she would guilt trip us into submission and obedience constantly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. she had no shame about it, and remembering back to it made me realise how little she valued our judgement; like, she knew she'd disarmed us, or that she had never taught us any defence against her methods, and so she wasn't masking. when i gained my freedom of mind, and started to speak it, she would attempt her old tricks just as shamelessly, and then double down on trying to guilt me by making me feel like the bad guy for not retreating from something i'm going through and working on, just because she didn't want to take any accountability. it's what she always complains about with her parents too, that they never accepted it when she would regularly recall the past at family events, and have violent outbursts that left my brothers and cousins and i crying because it upset us, or because their parents were making them leave the environment and we couldn't spend any more time together. my mother had emotionally absent parents growing up, and has always been extremely open to my brothers and i about how awful our grandparents are (who she relied on heavily at the time and who we lived with multiple times throughout our childhoods); she was always ungrateful -- her parents are flawed, but i don't want to hear about it when she's unwilling to admit the traumas in my life that were _her_ doing, or a result of her neglect, which i'm currently revaluating and unpacking the hindrances i struggle with, as most teenagers do during the process of growing up into an adult. my mom just never left that stage. i won't become like her, but i really mean that. my father was another aspect of my life experience, and while i can't promise i'm nothing like him at all, i recognised his shortcomings too, and how they hurt me, and his reluctances seemingly took away his own freedom to choose anything. at least, i prefer to think that he was unable to prioritise me, over the idea that he hadn't even considered it, because he had never seen my pain despite the way i assumed he saw through my perpetual smile, and felt _seen,_ as a kid by him, whenever he did feel like interacting with me (it was like he always had good excuses not to be around all of the time, and so i never considered him 'absent' when i was little, until i moved in with him upon hitting double digits). he was loving, but not emotionally available beyond the comfort of a dad hug. frankly, i know enough about my mom's mental state, though, that i can spot the fallacies in her reasoning, and follow her train of thought enough to recognise where it strays from one of stability. it's made me look at myself too, and retrain my understanding of things, and might have started my journey to diagnose the errors in my mindset. however, social media puts most of my generation in a bad light, i think we'll grow out of this era of self-obsession and into one of self-construction, beyond appearances and 'glow ups'. it's a part of maturing, and some people have more difficulty making progress, for a variety of reasons i'm sure. i was called mature by adults in my mom's circle, and though i chalked it up to creepiness for the most part, i did have to carry the weight of a grown woman's entire world on my shoulders, and my younger brother and i have always been significantly sensitive to negativity, and honest with our feelings. currently, i think our naivety may have sent us spiralling in the opposite direction. when so many people and things are tearing you down, it's difficult to remain optimistic and to risk being too trusting. we used to be more vulnerable, but that left us vulnerable to people our parents failed to protect us from, who _they_ accepted into _our_ lives. i've grown to struggle a lot with avoidant traits, and i'm slowly learning to trust the people in my life more. most of my friends hardly know me as i am. i'm a good friend of theirs, because i'm a good listener and i put effort into supporting them to the best of my ability, despite a tendency to come off as unsympathetic in interpersonal relationships because i've basically left all my emotions behind a brick wall 🧱 and don't feel safe to retrieve them with company around. i struggle with the fear that nobody likes me, and that they're constantly analysing my micro movements in order to mock me in their heads. i felt like one of my best friends was using me for years, and that she didn't like me, but kept me around because i was useful, or because i was a cute accessory for her to add to her usual friend group, and i didn't talk enough to be intrusive or impose until she encouraged me to.
Many seem not to realize that a lack of discipline is a form of neglect.
@@elijahwinchester6690 you seem to be far more self aware and insightful than many people who are much older than you probably are from the context of your comment! I'm sorry that you were not really seen or prioritized as a child ought to be. Please consider talking to a counselor for your own well being soon as you are able to if you can -there are a few places that will work on sliding scale or you can apply for Medicaid if you live in the states and make under a certain amount annually but still don't put it off indefinitely because there's a lot you might be missing out on in your need for self protection and the world might be missing out reciprocally on what only you can bring to it!
@@tablescissors BINGO!
I am a 64 year old man who grew up with a mentally disturbed father and a mother who enabled and defended him. He abused me emotionally and physically every single day until I turned 17. At 17 I had had enough and was now bigger than him. He was being his usual self and I saw red. I really had a red filter come over my eyes and for the first time in my life I saw fear in his. I picked him up by his throat and had his feet swinging pinned against the wall. I had lived in fear and terror of him my whole life but now I was seeing he was a coward. He started crying so instead of cleaning his clock I let him down, left home and never went back. That was 48 years ago and I still think about it every day.
When I was a child/early teens, my mom found Conduct Disorder online and “diagnosed” me with it. She’d tell all my teachers I had it, she’d ask people at church to pray for me so that I didn’t turn into a psychopath. Keep in mind, she never took me to a doctor or anything, just decided with her Degree from Google U. It wasn’t until I was in high school and had a teacher who helped me get help when she learned that my mom didn’t get an actual diagnosis and didn’t have me in therapy at all. I was eventually diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome and OCD. I spent my whole childhood being told I was going to be this terrible person no one was gonna want to be around because my mom just decided I had CD. I was also diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder later, which runs in my family and I was always told growing up that my family members with it were just terrible people who chose to be “difficult” by my parents.
Needless to say, as an adult in therapy, PTSD from all that childhood trauma got added to the list.
I implore all parents to actually see a professional if you think your child is having problems, don’t google diagnose them.
@Laura Smith Thanks so much for your comment! You're very strong intelligent and it's extremely valuable what you shared. I'm not a specialist or clinician but I've noticed this a lot among many who think they can just do a web search and suddenly presume themselves to be experts. It's crazy. To think if your mom had just gotten you the proper attention and intervention earlier so much of that PTSD could have been avoided. It's great to know how proactive and knowledgeable you are about your own self-care!
Damn she didn't realize your true diagnosis had an "O" on the front. Bet all she could manage after realizing her error was "oh".
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
THANK YOU for this vulnerability and SUPER important message!! I’m so sorry that happened to you! 💔
Laura, That is so sad and she probably had underlying psychological issues
I’m glad that you participated in counseling it’s hard work . I hope you feel better now
Had a cousin, who when around the age of 5, used to torture small animals slowly to death. His parents didn't get him help because of the social stigma of getting mental health services. They treated him as if his behaviour was normal, and gave him everything he wanted whenever he wanted it. He of course only got worse, and grew up to be an exceedingly violent gang member. He used to put me in the hospital regularly throughout my childhood.(he was three years older than me, and twice, to three times my size) All I ever wanted was for some adult to make him STOP!!! But no one ever did. Thanks for nothing to all those adults who were in the picture at the time and never lifted a finger to help me.
You deserve MUCH better. Make sure you parent yourself better.
@@MsSimpleMovies you cannot parent yourself ,it's impossible but I think I know what you meant by that
I'm so sorry that you did not have any allies or advocates. Adults that let horrible things happen to kids, know that they are being abused & Do Nothing are cowardly & contemptible. I echo that: thanks for nothing to all those adults who weren't there for those of us who were abused & bullied. Shame on the church / religious community too, for enabling abusers, essentially telling us to take it & covering it up! Shame on them.
I’m sorry you went thru that. I had an awful mom too (parents divorced lived w just mom) and I always wanted someone to see and help. Glad we are grown ups now but it still affects me greatly
@@mezanoken1492 Who is the animal? Him.
I never knew the urinating aspect of this. My brother has all of these traits, and I remember he wet the bed until he was 12 years old, and once I was sitting on the stairs and he came behind me and peed on my head. My brother is 3 years younger than me, and terrorized me in child hood. Tried to stab me multiple times. My parents thought this was hilarious. This is extremely validating. Thank you for making these videos.
Holy shit, sorry you had to go through that! Do you think your brother has developed anti-social personality disorder?
Is your brother in jail or been in jail?
@@jerrymarshall2095 no hes not, hes only 19. Why do you ask?
@@kdandsheela yes I do. It was a nightmare growing up with him.
If he's a really rotten guy,and I dont doubt you,I thought maybe his ways might have landed him in jail.
I clearly remember a child at school in the 80's who was a loner and was always quiet. In later high school he was connected to the slaughter of all the animals in the small farm garden the school had. Chickens, goats, and ducks were killed. On top of that he attempted to set a fire to totally destroy the teaching facility. He was around 16 when this happened and he just vanished. His actions had a huge effect on many other children at the school. No one could understand how a child could be so vicious. Watching this video now lets me understand he was a classic Psychopath.
I was quiet as a kid too. A real loner
That’s frightening. I wonder what his parents were like.
I was always quiet and I'm a recluse, but I'm the type to get taken advantage of by psychopathic types. I relate to them though. They feel entitled to express their negative emotions because they felt wronged by their caregivers in childhood. After living a life that was out of their control, they finally act out, and they feel right in doing so. I can't disagree because I understand it and I feel the same way, but I've never gotten into fights or acted on my "rage". Maybe my isolating behavior could be considered that, but I don't believe people want me around anyway so I isolate. 🤷♀️
Sounds like a BBQ gone wrong. Things were going great, he acquired the meat but then fire got a little out of control.
Just.. whoever reads this. Don't think all quiet loner kids are like this. Please. Some people are going through hell, and others are just like that.
"I had to do a lot of research on this and I wanted to talk to a lot of clinicians before I attempted to answer it" And this is why you're one of the very few sources I trust in regard to mental health on UA-cam. Thank you for actually caring about credibility and fact and not just pulling a 'Rewired Soul' and talking out of your ass.
Vi Haze I always think of the rewired soul comparison. He really thinks his videos are the same quality as these 🥴
Tru
He’s the only source I trust on UA-cam.
You sound like a bad person playing the blame it’s not my fault my mother did this to me where was your dad you don’t mention him and what age are you responsible for your own actions .why would something that happened x yrs age .make you become a thief.I’m interested in your answer because I was abused but never became a bad person .
Rewired soul was never a clinician
I would just like to point out that not every psychopath has/had bad parents.
Depends on your idea of bad. A bad parent to me is even a parent who takes no precautions when it comes to what or who their kid is being influenced by. A bad parent raises their kids in toxic societies and enviorments. That's a lot of parents.... chances are, the parents of psychopaths are worse.
@@drearperry8727 Well, then by your logic EVERY parent is a bad parent. You do realize that when kids are at school, the parent has no control over who their kid is hanging out with on the playground? It's even worse when that kid gets into high school. And if you think that the school is going to do anything about that, you'd be wrong. A parent can know the parents of their children's friends, but that is still no guarantee that their kid isn't a bad influence on your kid. My guess is that you are either not a parent or the parent of very small children. The reality is, if you protect your kid from bad influences all the time, they never learn the skills to identify bad influences, nor how to get away from them. If a parent "hovers" over their kid, otherwise known as helicopter parenting, or are overly protective, they are not doing their kids any favors. At best, they don't learn necessary skills needed for adult life and at worst, they will eventually rebel and then all hell will break loose.
Also, one could argue that all societies are toxic and all homes are dysfunctional. Nobody is perfect as a parent, but some parents shouldn't be parents. Those that should be parents are the ones that support their kid, give discipline only when necessary, but mostly just love them for who they are, not what they are expected to be.
@@heatherhillman1 It saddens me to see you put so much effort into justifying evil behavior. No loving parent would ever make excuses for why they didn't protect their kid. You're missing the point. Because it's "impossible" to protect your kid the way you should, why have them? See my point.
@@drearperry8727 No, what I see is a condescending jackass that has no idea what the realities of parenthood are.
Science is finding out now that psychopathy is more about genetics then they once realized! Brain scans can see that brains are wired differently than normal folks. We are still finding out if it is heterozygous or homozygous.
I have a lot of these traits, most of them, and I’ve struggled all my life trying to overcome them. I’ve been working on my mental health pretty seriously for around 7 years now, and I’ve come a very long way. At this point I’ve come to terms with the fact that at the least I have some psychopathic traits. With lots of treatment, therapy, effective meds, dedication, and hard work, I’m now in the range of normalcy for most things, with some areas that I still truffle with, and in some areas I excel. But it’s an active process for me. When I put important aspects of my life on “auto-pilot,” things can deteriorate pretty quickly. It takes a lot of focus to stay on an upward trajectory. These videos help me understand myself and my past, to piece things together, and help me stay motivated to keep learning and searching within to understand myself and the world I live in. Thank you so much!
You are obviously very strong and determined. Congratulations.
I'm so happy for you, honestly. All this while most of what I've seen and heard about psychopathy is from "witnesses", whether they be in the form of therapists, victims of said psychopathy or just misinformed social media. It's made to seem like it's unheard of for individuals diagnosed with psychopathic traits to actively seek for or want therapy and treatment.
Thank you for sharing your story here, and I pray for your continued success!
@@footlong7980 Thank you for the kind words. Regarding the negativity surrounding psychopathy, this was a real issue for me because my own prejudice caused me to fear seeking a deeper understanding of myself. At one point in my life, even today to some extent, the last thing I wanted to do was to look inside myself and find some kind of psychopathic monster, so I made the mistaken (but understandable) conclusion that I was better off not looking. I thought at the time that the price I paid for that evasion was better than taking the risk of shattering my fragile ego. I now understand that seeking awareness and understanding in myself and in the world tends to help me feel better, more peaceful, more confident, happier; whereas evasion and fuzzy thinking towards myself and the world tend to cause pain and suffering, or worse, numbness.
The turning point for me was learning and adopting rational philosophy, especially the idea that the whole purpose of our conscious mind is to enable us to observe reality and use that information to solve the problems of human survival and flourishing. In any fight between human whims and reality, reality always always always wins. Once I got that drilled into myself pretty well, I started on a journey that has turned my life around completely.
The first domino was realizing: the way you use your mind makes a big fucking difference in the spiritual and material results you get in the world. I believe that that's the first step that has to happen for anyone like me to turn things around. You have to develop a basic respect for reality, and for your own mind. With hard work and dedication, everything else will follow.
@@Ezra1789
Truer words have never been written. Our mind is the lens with which we can perceive and experience the world around us. Once we give up on it, we are basically giving up on life and living itself.
Either you are a very self -aware psychopath or you are not psychopath at all. Psychopaths usually don't want to change, even if they ever get around to admitting they are one. They think everyone else is at fault and rarely blame themselves.
Doctor! I only just realized today that people are still watching your college courses, and that you have *millions of views on them!* You really are helping people so much. Thank you for making these free to watch.
I caught my friends son 4yrs old holding a giant rock the size of his face over his head about to drop it on my chihuahua. His mom acted like it was nothing. They're both creepy. I smacked his little hand i do not care
Are you still friends with her?
I don’t know what’s worse. The child holding the rock or the carefree mum.
It’s important that you contact children services about this child. Next time he’ll be dropping a rock on a kid’s head, or old lady’s head. They tend to *escalate*, the more they go undetected, or are re-unforced, in their behaviours.
@@echase416 he stopped thankfully. No problems in school (while it was open) but i never left him around my animals after that
@Nope Nope reinforced is what she means. Tho i think that was obvious
I was misdiagnosed when I was 10 or 11 as a child with ASPD. I was in foster care, was very angry, antisocial, and numb. I’m still dealing with the after effects of being labeled with that. I was literally called a monster, constantly. I deeply hated everyone for a very long time for that. In reality I had/have PTSD, ADHD and Autism. Part of me still hates the people that convinced me that I was a horrible person. The other part of me is desperately trying to prove them wrong.
Yeah but it sounds like you were a pain in the ass which is why people thought you were a horrible person.
You can do it! Keep going! My son has adhd and autism, and possibly ptsd from an unavoidable situation and at one time he had a label like that too. He’s nothing like the therapist pronounced he would be. Instead he’s the sweetest, kindest man learning how to navigate the world…it’s tough but we’ve thrown that one untrue label out the window. You keep going. Be proud of how far you’ve come and keep proving them wrong!
Please keep trying to prove them wrong. Please remember that hurting other people hurts yourself. There is an old proverb, “Before starting down the path of revenge dig two graves.” It’s the way life works. Practice kindness to yourself and others and remember the things done to you mean nothing about you and everything about the one doing it.
My son could easily have ended up in your situation. You can heal and move forward.
Part of me wishes I could be like that, wishing I was better. But most of me is just happy that nobody fucks with me, and that I have the willingness to fuck them up badly and face the consequences afterwards if anybody chose to. Mostly, I'm happy alone. Happy that people don't bother with me. I wouldn't notice anyone if they were dying and I'd hope the same.
7:07 Macdonald Triad
7:19 Bed Wetting
8:02 Arson
9:01 Hurting Small Animals
11:13 Cheating Friends, Enemies, & Individuals who're Neutral
12:35 Ignoring another Child who is Crying
14:08 Dominant with an Authority Figure
15:33 Commiting a Crime Alone
17:00 A Desire to See Disturbing Images
18:33 Fearless with Consequences
19:27 Bulling other Children
19:57 Poor Parenting
Zza
"A Desire to See Disturbing Images", "Fearless with Consequences", "Poor Parenting" for the recent school shooting
@@wowsean This is why I came to this channel today. 💔
Is it bad that I had 6 of these?
@@Faygo2215 nah u good 👍
1. Urinating on other kids
2. Arsen or interest in flames
3. Hurting small animals (and stuff animals)
4. Cheating friends, enemies or people that are neutral, stealing money/toys
5. Ignoring another child who is crying and moving to potential attacks
6. Attacking a teacher or police officer with a weapon
7. Committing a crime alone
8. A desire to see disturbing images/scenes
9. Fearless with consequences
10. Bullying other children
11. Cold/poor parenting
Why that lowkey sound like me when i was in middle school
Thank you for the list. Saves me time
He specified that one sign was "bedwetting" and _not_ "urinating on other kids or furniture" as the latter is actually something they aren't as sure about. It may be the child's effort to assert dominance on others.
Also, most people who wet their bed as kids *aren't* psychopaths, and some have trauma which causes the bedwetting
Most helpful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise.
1. agree with his take, i had bed wetting for a while but agree that its trauma
2. agree as well, only had interest in calm flames likely because i was never calm unless in hyperfocused type of state
3. ive seen many people i grew up around love to stab or do stuff to stuffed animals lol
4. i stole quite a lot including friends toys, parents valuables, teachers phone once, for the longest time i couldnt remember why i did any of those and besides a impulse for the teachers phone just laying there i didnt have any logical reason to besides temptation, i remember all of these feelings very well, for friends toys honestly them being friends didnt really matter because i had become a self proclaimed proficient liar atp and i think it also had to do with financial problems and my parents starting to say no to things after a certain string of events happened in their lives which then effected me, and no i didnt care because i would logic my way into morally justifying it
5. agree, in my case i just learned to ignore it when i got older and direct my anger at the parents which reflected my negative experiences with being emotionally neglected
6. agree definitely think this has to do with parents and authority figures which in many cases i think sometimes may be justified but yes not when a weapon is used, my autistic friend stabbed me in the back with a stick in 3rd grade and then started crying because he didnt know what he just did and then i started crying with him tho, if im also autistic this would explain a lot
7. as an only child i did a lot of things alone including stealing
8. yes there was definitely an intense fascination with committing crimes and also just spreading more lies that i knew about the anatomy and pressure points because it was fascinating to be able to immobilize someone so quickly
9. after facing multiple consequences for things i quickly became desensitized to it because my father would say things that were deterministic like the last straw but he would never get there so i learned his threats became emptier and many peoples threats are usually empty but i never realized it was just out of wanting me to stop whatever it was which then made me feel bad
10. agree, never bullied because i enjoyed being socially accepted as a lonely person who actually wanted friends
11. agree, in my case it’s disorganized attachment because it was very confusing when theyd say things that seemed to make attempts at intimacy but when i would try to be intimate and express issues it would never go well which is what i learned from
i dont think im a psychopath nor a sociopath because i really do enjoy other people and also i would feel so terrible after all of these things, guilt/shame was something i had as well as depression/anxiety which all led to an adhd diagnosis last year (freshman year of university), i love people but it gets very complex in depth of thought since my life is something ive been trying to conceptualize since maybe 6th grade when i really felt depression
I worked at a Childrens psychiatric hospital. This is a locked facility for acute behavioral issues and I’ve seen my share of psychopathic children. It’s almost unbelievable how young they can start to display these traits. These children often came from extreme traumatizing scenarios. One child in particular was at the cusp of becoming a full blown psychopath but it was more due to the parents having no boundaries and basically turning him into a total narcissist by age 8. He peed anywhere to show dominance and anger, threatened both of his parents with violence to the point that the whole family would lock themselves in the bathroom to keep him from abusing them. I once spent about 2.5 hours with this child in the isolation room where he repeatedly urinated all over the walls and see through door so that the staff had to clean it up. The parents then complained that he wasn’t being treated with respect bc as part of his treatment we had to ask him why he wanted to hurt his family and that was “too much for him to handle”. I think sometimes parents can contribute to these issues by overly appeasing children with conduct issues at a young age.
Treating a child like they are God’s gift to earth even after they have been behaving badly is also a form of neglect bc children need boundaries in order to recognize right from wrong
Very interesting topic.
I have a sibling who has many sociopathic traits that were left unaddressed and although she may seem somewhat normal she is definitely a full blown narcissist and most likely sociopath due to constantly getting away with violent and illegal behaviors.
It all starts at home. Parents have to recognize that not all children outgrow toxic behavior.
Is it causes by abuse and neglect? I cannot think of a kid being guilty if they behave badly because no one leads them and cares for them.
I know I am not a professional, but I’ve seen peeing everywhere and absolutely horrible psychotic behaviors from kids with
PANDAS/PANS. It’s been a controversial diagnosis but it’s becoming more accepted. This kid may very well be a psychopath but there’s a chance that he, and kids like him, have PANDAS or PANS which is an infection (many times it’s strep) that affects the basal ganglia.
Eu tenho essa área do grande parente 🤡🚬🌿#
Sadly, bad parenting keeps therapists and criminal justice system in business.
Treatment should have started by having him wipe up his own urine with a rag. Bet you anything he'd stop all that the moment he had to clean it himself.
I always assumed I matured or grew out of being the person I used to be. The older I get the more I realize I'm still the same person, but I taught myself how to be the person I want to be. It's a 24/7 job.
Woah. This comment is powerful. You fr got me thinking.
This is an eye opener for me. Wow!
How did you teach yourself?
I thought I was doing better also but had an episode so now I’m back at step one.
@@guineapigtalks i don’t think they mean literally teaching themselves but figuratively like understanding right and wrong and you should and shouldn’t do
1.Bedwetting 7:19
2.Arson 8:02
3.Hurting Small Animals 9:00
4.Cheating friends and/or stealing from friends and/or allies 11:13
5.Ignoring another child that is crying 12:35
6.Being dominant with an authority figure 14:07
7.Commiting a crime alone 15:34
8.Desire to see disturbing images or scenes 17:00
9.Fearless when it comes to consequences and/or pain 18:33
10.The child bullies other children and wants children to fear them 19:26
11.Poor parenting 19:55
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_*
_Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._
-
@@williammunny9916 Thank you!
Lol that’s how u do it
You've reposted someone else's comment.
None of it is true there perfect kids and the most cearel killers had a good childhood..
As an adoptee myself, who simply has only been diagnosed ADD, I’ve noticed that being adopted in itself can cause what appears to be, borderline personality, and that is why it is difficult to pinpoint, bc it depends on the adoption situation. Neglect, abandonment and related traumas are the root issue with these. Being given up before you even have a chance is unbelievably traumatic.
AmandaL being adopted is also a chance for a better life....
@@xaberche6773 does it deal with psychopaty?
Windy and Christopher- score 11 out of 11! 2 relatives are Ugly.
This is the dumbest comment in the History of the Internet.
I too am an adoptee, nd have worked with teen adoptees. Our agency's research has demonstrated that abandonment is a key issue in maladaptive behaviors and suffering in most adoptees. I remember thinking, as a child (fosterhome veteran, adopted at age 3) that my feet didn't touch the floor, or that I must be from the moon. It didn't matter what the age was for adoption. Those adopted at birth and those adopted at older ages experienced abandonment issues. The teens in my group, without exception, experienced bonding problems and and identity confusion. Often they were diagnosed with Borderline Personality disorder. The only reason for their problems was not BPD, we learned, but the aformentioned identity problems caused by being ignorant of their biological roots. Unsealing birth records has been very key in ameliorating this condition.
I presented all of these traits as a child when I was part of an extremely abusive household that had power so I would get away with acting out at school. Once I was removed from it as a teen and went through intensive therapy, my traits changed. Now I am diagnosed with PTSD but no personality disorder. Hopefully the children with these traits can receive help early on.
You clearly weren’t fearful if you were showing all of those traits.
Yeah-- get AWAY from the abusive childhood home!!!
@@beforgiven9055 - HOW ABUSIVE WERE THEY? THAT WOULD BE IMPORTANT INFORMATION. CHILDREN BECOME PARENTS.
These traits can be a front to protect a very scared and vulnerable child, but they may not actually be as they are portraying.
@@truelies9187 k
My high school psych class used your videos while doing our DSM unit! Thanks for the videos.
I used youtube videos as sources for my research paper, and they were fine with it. I guess some youtube videos are credible sources.
@@snowmanggaming3708 I suppose the key here is this content creator is a professional who is sharing information based off reality and facts. Also he even cites some sources for this info provided in the description. The assimilation of knowledge is a valuable thing. As long as one can determine what potentially is purely for entertainment value vs inform and educate, I’d say it can be a valid source.
I wish my school let me do this
High School Psych is I’m here today. It was a fascinating/engaging class for me. Good for you.
@@audimaster5000 I view expert knowledge like a painting. What is the provenance of that information? Experience and observation are near the top for me. References show the professional nature of the presenter and a concerted effort to pull together and assess theories other than their own.
Overall, I think it’s very important to teach HS Students to seek out information outside their own echo chamber and assess it themselves.
Unfortunately, many lab studies do not hold up to real world application nor peer review. That’s for another day. Hence why experience and observation are so important.
I honestly wish I had counseling as a kid... I had four of these traits... My life was chaos... But luckily I found therapy... Better late than never...
That’s so good you are doing well with therapy. Wishing you the best 🌻
Let’s pray they don’t make a Psyco-Twitter and start getting together!😅
@@Jool005 thank you
I'm glad that it mentioned that these behaviours can result from trauma... like a reaction, acting out. And I'm glad that you're receiving the proper attention for it. More power to you, and thanks for sharing.
@@tiffanypersaud3518 thank you. I'm glad I'm where I am at. What I did in my past kept me alive at the time but now I'm doing things differently!
I never wanted to have children, so I didn't. I've never had any regrets. I never wanted to be married or have a family of my own. I was afraid I'd be a parent like my own. It's a miracle that I didn't grow up to be a psychopath. When I was in grade school I knew a kid who was like you're describing. We were all afraid of him. One morning our teacher spoke to us before the day started. She said that a-hole kid's father had killed his mother & we were being asked to say NOTHING about it. So that explained that. That was the kind of home he came from.
Fascinating. Having been a teacher of middle and high school students for over 25 years and hundreds if not thousands of kids I have seen these symptoms only FOUR times. I keep waiting to see those kids on the news one day. It isn't something I look forward to believe me.
You must have worked in a wonderful school district to have only 4 in 25 years. Some teachers deal with four a year, I am not making this up.
Lucky you. I have been in an educator for 14 years. Kindergarten and primary school mostly and have seen dozens of children who showcased poor Prognostic indicators during their development. I have to add though that these schools I have been working at are not situated in Europe or North America and mostly in places where mental health is either poorly understood, stigmatized or ignored altogether. It is mostly bad parenting and being woefully ignorant. Psychopathy isn't the most common though, narcissistic behavior is far more prevalent and to a degree even more dangerous because its often actively encouraged .
I have also seen these traits in two children in my twenty year career. I expect to see them in the paper one day unless they received therapy and familial intervention. They were young.
You've only seen them. Kids with psychopathic tendencies can be charming and keep their behavior under the radar.
@@user-ru6mq5sc5n Oh I believe you. I worked in five schools-one parochial Catholic school, three special needs schools, and one in an inner urban city public school. All different. I saw every learning disability under the sun but I only rarely observed psychopathy. I guess I was fortunate.....
I had to watch this just to add some brain cells back after the Tati and Shane videos
+Carter Is that the grown-ups who play with children toys? I saw the video about a syndrome which makes grown up men, play with "My little pony" in their offices in Wallstreet, Manhattan? This is a sick behaviour which predominantly men suffers from it and often men within finances. They are labelled with a plain and simple diagnosis called "Insane in the brain" syndrome.
Striker Orwell wow
Oh snap me too🤣🤣
😂🤣
@Behavior & Handwriting Reveal the Truth
Not to sounds stupid or anything, but what is "junior high"?
As a teacher, I have met a few scary kids. Kids I was actually afraid of. It was so frustrating to try and talk about them to administrators because maybe if they identified them early, they could help them in some way. But no one wanted to address it. No one wanted to talk to parents. Neon sign problems.
Completely sympathize -- In fact, now that you can't expell children from some schools, as a student you end up locked in with psychopaths. It's a nightmare and impossible to learn in that environment.
4/5 grow out of these ODD behaviors, but 1/5 turn into a psychopath. But psychopathy has strongest genetic component. Therefore, most likely also a parent w/ it making informing/getting parents involved not that successful. I’ve had Oppositional adolescent clients and understood MUCH more when further meeting the parents who had psychopathic/antisocial traits. Can’t make them attend therapy let alone actually participate in it, unfortunately.
I had students at 9 yrs old who were pros at manipulation
One 8 yr old boy grabbed his mothers crotch and she did nothing. I told both parents that he was having issues and they said "hes a tough nut to crack" the dad was very rude and entitled.
As a retired Child Welfare Worker and teacher, society makes excuses for any red flags it sees.
I think the lack of consequences for kids is going to end badly. Something I am tired of hearing is calling teens and early 20s babies. They are young and brains still developing but NOT babies. I wonder where this is all going to end. I went to training about 10-15 years ago, and the presenter said we are creating narcissists
@@merricat3025 That's the reason why many are leaving the teaching profession and now we have a shortage...
@gabrielleangelica1977 About a year ago, I watched UA-cam channel with former teacher. She told of pregnant teacher getting punched in stomach by student. The administration response was to teacher what did she do wrong. Nothing happened to the kid, and she still had to be his teacher. The general theme was that teachers are afraid of administration, administration is afraid of the school board, and the school board is afraid of parents. Eta, I think the teacher called her husband to go to the hospital and she got in trouble for leaving to go to the hospital.
@@merricat3025 Exactly 💯!
@@merricat3025Haha if we think today is bad we’re gonna be in for it in a few decades when social media has replaced all forms of human connection
Hi. I am a 40 year old man from Canada. Thank you for producing this video. With a heavy heartI I say this has explained a few things from my childhood. I don’t remember much before the age of six but at that age my family moved to a small town from a big city. I remember many times hurting our barn cats our dog and enjoying shooting birds with a stolen gun. I also played with fire a lot and burned down our neighbours barn. I would steel my older brothers toys and sell them at school. I would repeatedly get into fights and many times fiight kids much older then me. One time I got angry with my friend and chased him down and stabbed him with a pencil. I tell you this because I have gotten much better and in my adult years even though life has been hard I have been able to keep my loving wife and two children and run a successful business. I am tormented by my past and still struggle with lack of emotion and empathy but I do live a relatively content life. Thank you again.
Hang in there, Prospector Pete.💜
all your childhood aside, i am very glad to see you are doing much better, and are on a different path then child you was looking to. i hope that you find even more contentment in your life and become increasingly happier, if you aren't already aren't. much love
You're only responsible for your choices and it sounds like you're doing very well.
Had my issues as well. 66 now and I often lament about my childhood behavior while drifting to sleep at night. My memories can make me incredibly anxious almost to the point of passing out. I find it amazing that my parents didn't intervene at all.
@@Chandrika-22 thank you.
It must be devastating for good parents to see legitimate concerns in their children, I couldn't imagine having to parent thru that, my heart goes out to you
@@edrathephoenix ❤️
These days others will coddle them even if parents are trying desperately to help.
As someone with Aspergers (autism) I learned about autism in a university class and they made autistics sound a bit like psychopaths - like not having empathy. Which was untrue. I wish more people knew that autistics have empathy, and studies have shown that we actually are more empathetic than non-autistics (allistics)
Some of us know !!!!!!!!!
My daughter is Aspi and she is the most empathic person I know. I see you. xxx
My son is autistic & deaf. He is in his 30’s. He is NOT a psychopath, however, he doesn’t seem to understand other peoples pain. Kinda like, he isnt feeling pain so everything must be okay. People who are on the autism spectrum may seem uncaring but i truly believe its, that they only have difficulty expressing themselves & communicating their feelings. Their communication bridges are either damaged or in some cases broken.
In my opinion, my son has a beautiful heart & soul. I admire how his spirit has stayed enjoyable when he as almost no ability to communicate.
I wish you a fantastic journey through life. A friend with autism once called non-autistic people…..neurosimplistic!
I’ve know many people on the spectrum and only the smallest percentage have anything I would call psychopathy…and even they are not past hope
I think it's a lot more about how the feeling is expressed. When I was young I could go through my birthday with a stone face, and then dropkick a kid for telling me my hair looked wack, but it's not like I didn't feel the proper emotion, it was mainly about me not understanding the social context of the event and the social expectations other people had of me. Like, today I feel the same amount of emotion, but I understand it better and I express it in a more understandable manner.
This being said I'm starting to think I also have a good deal of narcissistic traits, not that I would notice, considering how little I understand social interactions to this day, but some of the descriptions from the Doc hit dangerously close to home.
My adult son hits almost every single point on that scale. When he was 2 he broke a door off it's hinges, at 3 he started peeing in the corner of his closet. At four he drowned a batch of kittens, by 8 he set a local hotel on fire (he graduated from newspapers). He was in therapy from the age of 4. By 8 he was hurting his older sister and couldn't stay with us any longer. He kind of functions now, but only barely. He can't hold a job and has huge anger issues. I'm afraid of him. I had to choose between my healthy child or my sick child, who would probably never get better. I chose my well child and let the State raise the sick one, with doctors and qualified attendants 24 hours a day. My daughter is doing very well today, she has a college degree and she's now the boss at work. I'm so proud of her and giving up my sick child was the best decision I could have made for everybody. (Edit - Thank you every body for your kind and supportive comments. I really appreciate it. 🥰)
Peeing and pooping in corners is a sign of sexual abuse
I’m so sorry 😞. You’re momma intuition knew what you had to do. You made the right decision imo. Don’t ever feel guilt about it. I hope you are doing well. Take care ☮️
He is like michael myers thats good thing
You are so brave. You managed this incredible challenge so well. Wishing all of you the best.
I always think that when women get pregnant, it’s a “Genes Lottery” what we get for babies. Scary
Always interesting 👍. Why do some children from horrically abusive parents turn into people pleasers and empaths?
I watched a utube video on it. It has to do with the child learning early on that his life is more better if the child learns to predict moods, and be pleasant, so the child can avoid a negative reaction from parents when they r in bad mood and also parent feels nice to child when child is pleasing.
The Family unit needs all types to keep them together in harmony. Accept to adapt or risk being excluded
If the intent of the abuse is to manipulate the child they may be ppl pleasers but if the intent is to destroy the child all to gather than I can see how becoming a monster is a survival strategy.
Not some. The vast majority does. The vast majority of those kids turn out to be wonderful human beings.
A bad childhood is anything but an excuse for horrible and abusive behavior really.
@Lisa Boulier I agree that people who have lived through trauma and abuse as children often do grow up into the world's much needed advocates for prosocial loving and living *in spite of* what they were taught in their vulnerable, formative childhoods...However, for the few that traject towards OPP, then ASPD as adults, to say that they were somehow intrinsically "weaker" and therefore, became dysfunctional adults is a bit oversimplifying a complex interplay of perceived occurrences for the child and the available support system at the time. For children who have thrived as adults, we often hear of the concept of "resilience", and the more social support a child has, the less likely they are to become dysfunctional adults. I had one person who *finally* listened and *believed* me when I told them what was happening to my twin and I (severe physical abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, etc.), and it made a world of difference for me. I still struggle, but I wasn't "weak".
Thanks!
When I was young, I tortured animals, insects, crabs, I had no concept of another creatures pain. I went through a lot of traumatic events when I was young, and looking back at my behavior, I must have been on the spectrum. I had a deep fascination with fire as well. Later in life I learned empathy, and was able to grow in to a good strong man. I'm now raising a family, and have the most amazing wife, my life isn't perfect, but it's beautiful ❤️
Explain how you learned empathy.
@@MR.AIRWALK Empathy is being able to feel another beings pain. I put my self in thier shoes.
A good example for men is, when I see another man getting kicked in the nuts. I've experienced this, so I can easily put my self in thier shoes.
I spent a lot of time in meditation, searching my heart and mind, got in touch with who I really am.
But what REALLY did it for me. Psychedelics. Massive doses of magic mushrooms, and later in life, Ayahuasca. These substances straitened me out to out in lightly. Used in a ceremonial setting. Not as a party drug.
❤️❤️❤️
No feeling of their pain, but knowing how to make anyone do anything you want.
Empathy has to be reinforced with children I think, I dont know if people are born with empathy I guess they are, but it needs to be taught as well.
Years ago, my wife and I were taking care of kids while their parents were attending a parenting class. One little boy, about 6-years-old, seemed like a potential psychopath to me. He didn't respect authority and was mean to the other kids. One time he kicked my wife, so we decided we had better get one of his parents, who were in another room in the same building. She went to get them, and as she was on her way the boy told me in the flattest, least emotional way you can imagine that he hoped something really bad would happen to her before she got there, like somebody would shoot her or the building would burn and she would die in the fire. It was chilling. I don't think you could blame bad parenting in this case... they seemed like nice people, and after all, they were taking a parenting class! I've often wondered what became of him. It felt like his parents needed a miracle from God, not just some nice tips on being better parents.
Their brains are different, I read an article a while back about a neuroscientist who accidentally found out he was a psychopath. He was looking at brain scans of violent criminals and murderers and he realized they were similar to his own. He also had genetic variants that pointed to psychopathy, strangely it turns out that Lizzy Borden is part of his family line.
This kid sounds like Tom Riddle but without the dark magic
There are, sometimes, children born just plan evil. I have spoken with their mothers. All their other children were normal, but then came this one who wanted only to torture and kill the pets, hurt other children and loved to start fires. They were verbally cruel, even to their parents. They didn't just lack emotion/empathy, they were aggressive and cruel. The only reason I would blame their parents except when they see all these signs and just make excuses for their kid.
they seemed like nice people.. im sure they werent screaming at him every day.. thats what people who seem like nice people do at home when theyre not out there pretending theyre nice people to put on a show for the world..
He would've got his ass whooped 😂😂 whooped!!!
I listened to your whole presentation and found it very disturbing and imagined that the burn out rate of counselors that deal with these children on a regular basis. I feel hopeless just hearing about it. My heart goes out to the caring parents who have to go through this and not understand why it happened.
Children? More like demons.
As a student of psychology I really enjoy your video. Very informative and with depth. Wish you were my professor Dr Grande
Love People who study well and are deep thinkers like grende.
What a nice thing to say! I had a top notch Philosophy professor, I'll never forget him!
@@itswhatyoumakeit6950 would you be able to find a book on subjects of philosophy . This is phychology is educational.will youtuber get philosophical for us?
Good luck!! 🍀
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_*
_Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._
--
I used to torture insects when I was little. Now when I see any kind of bug I help it off the sidewalk so it won't get stepped on.
Are you me?
I identify with this. I did this for awhile until my mid-teens, and now I hate the thought. I was alone, had no friends, and was teased. Was this an act of desire to control my world? The insects being my torturers? I don't know. What I do know is that without love there is no empathy, regardless of age.
Kids do this for a while and in the process realise creatures feel pain and stop. Bad kids go further
You were never a psycho, you just had too strong emotions, I'm happy your well adjusted.
@Blask Riker The difference between humans and insects is that we have the capacity for empathy (well, some of us do).
Thanks for sharing, Doc. Very insightful. I've compiled a 'cliffnotes' version if anybody is interested.
Dr. Grande's "11 Signs a Child May Become a Psychopath"
- Animal Cruelty (often starts with dolls... harming... escalation to torture/killing is a very strong indicator)
- Aggressive Urinating (Bedwetting is indicative of trauma... escalation to AU is a much stronger indicator)
- Pyromania (fascination with fire and/or destruction... escalation to arson is a much stronger indicator)
- Cheating (perpetually lying/cheating/stealing... escalation to 'conning' friends & family is an indicator)
- Mocking Authority (aggression/dominance toward authority figures [often teachers] is an indicator)
- Solo Crime (children will be mischievous under peer pressure... solo crime [esp. violence] is an indicator)
- Ignoring Consequences (complete disregard of punishment/pain + constant misbehavior is an indicator)
- Bullying (insults are commonplace... an innate desire to create & witness fear/anguish is an indicator)
- Ignoring Distress (failing to recognize/react to obvious distress [such as crying] can be an indicator)
- Obsession w/ Graphic Content (morbid curiosity is one thing... morbid obsession can be an indicator)
- Poor Parenting (negative reactions, lack of positive feedback, neglect/abuse... all may lead to indicators)
Be careful... Bed wetting can also be due to kidney failure. When our little brother started to wet himself, our parents took him to the doctor for tests and, sure enough, he had one bad kidney that ended up needing to be surgically removed. This was back in the 1960s. My parents stayed overnights with him at what was then called Boston Floating Hospital while the rest of us kids spent that part of the summer at our aunt and uncle's house.
And seizures
@@kerryGunvaldsen and spina bifada occulta.
or did they steal his liver?
Dr here is talking more of intentional urinating, when you can tell that they do ot on purpose, not because they cannot hold it.
@Christina: hope you had à great time at your anty 's place!!😍
I was in kindergarten the first time i stood in the doorway, helpless, while my mother was punched and choked by her mother. This lead me to bully kids smaller or younger than me. I remember being in first grade and convincing kindergartens to play tag with me and I would push them hard or trip them on the rocks. “Console” them when they cried and brought them to a teacher. I don’t know how the teachers didn’t realize something was up. I used to feel excited that my step brothers would be hurt by my grandmother…..I cry to think about this now as an adult. I feel overwhelming guilt that I hurt and wished others to be hurt. My narcissistic grandmothers foster home bred us all to have some of these traits; some of us have recovered further than some of the other kids. I hold guilt shame regret and love hopefulness and support for/to the kids I grew up with.
Thanks for your informational video. You’ve worded everything with grace and care.
I'm sorry you had to go through that as a child and it caused you to lash out - but I commend you for your self awareness and ability to change and take accountability. Not everyone does. Sending hope for you and the others who never deserved what you went through!
Skaidra Waters --- You are admirable for having transcended such a circumstance.
You're better than ever!
Is there a way to file a lawsuit against family perpetrators?
@@christyviolet926 not without money. We’ve tried. Money for lawyers would be the only solution. Or waiting for her old age death ☠️
"Evil is unspectacular and always human...and shares our bed and eats at our table"
- W.H. Auden
If this isn't a nightmare in written form, I don't know what is....
"I believe there are things that are spectacular to some which are in fact evil"- Tom Lewis
@ J Randall. Yeah, but it’s still pretty lousy just the same.
Evil is a relative term what does it mean different things to different ppl. It explains nothing.
@@explorer0213 is r*ping and killing children evil or relative?
Thank you for making this video. I’m interested in learning more about this topic.
My mother and maternal grandmother are psychopaths they both have a lot of these symptoms (especially hurting animals, crime, delighting in seeing fear in people) as children and adults.
I’m a survivor of Munchausen syndrome by proxy and ritual abuse. I was diagnosed with reactive attachment disorder (RAD) as a child and potentially could have developed psychopathic traits. Thankfully I didn’t -although I do have other illnesses (DID/PTSD).
I am really impressed by your non-judgmental and understanding approach. Being a victim of people who have psychopathic traits it is difficult to be understanding.
I’ve found that ritual abuse seems to be an almost-always prerequisite for DID... Obviously it’s probably not *always* because these things are never neatly boxed in, but I also suppose it’s so common because of how truly devastating and evil that kind of abuse and trauma really is.
People like yourself are truly the strongest I can possibly imagine. I wish you the very best in this life.
You are incredibly strong my dads a psychopath but I always had my overly emotional mother as an anchor I’m a diagnosed sociopath but don’t think it’s that bad a lot of people try and copy my personality which I see as weird to do. I WISH YOU LOVE AND SUCCESS IN LIFE YOU DESERVE IT.
Jared Williams Can I ask you a couple of questions about your personal experiences being a sociopath? I’m finishing my undergrad in psychology and I have a couple questions from a psychological perspective. I understand if it’s not something you would like to discuss and I respect your decision if you choose not to. Thank you and I hope you have a good weekend.
Amy Nix haha no need to be that formal sure what do you want to know I’ll preface by saying yes I do have emotion and can care about people.
Same here. Psychopathy is genetic. Victims of psychopaths have a life time of healing from the abuse.
Your lectures are wonderful . So clear , factual , the problem always presented in a realistic way . Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience so generously.
F......k he sends me to zzzzzzzzzzzz every time
Excellent presentation. I have 35 years of experience as a child psychiatrist in juvenile justice institutions and this is the best, most accurate synopsis of Conduct Disorder in childhood that I've ever seen. Should be mandatory for every school teacher, not that these children are necessarily treatable but early detection is key.
Are you kidding? We have teachers teaching kids they should feel guilty for the color of their skin. If anything the teachers are the psychopaths!!
As a teacher, I can tell you that 90% or educators already know this. There is nothing we can do except send them to the counselor and try to gently let the parents know what we observe. We are NEVER allowed to even insinuate any type of diagnosis of a child.
You are right they are Not treatable....run the other way
@@AJ-hz3tx
I agree that most teachers are well aware. There was a child in my daughter’s class at school who demonstrated many of these risk behaviors and the other children and teachers alike feared him. At the beginning of third grade, my daughter and the boy were in the same classroom and their teacher was pregnant. Two months into the school year, she was into her 3rd month and beginning to show (she was very slender). We had become friendly and she told me she had made the decision to leave at that point out of fear that the child would hurt her and/or the baby when she began to show. It was a sad situation as she was a good teacher and she enjoyed working with her kids.
In my workplace a few years back, a young lad was working for a while. He came to help me one night, and we got to talking, and I asked him what he wanted to do in life. He was very young, and this was just a part time job for him while he was in college. He told me that he wanted to join the army because he really wanted to know what it would be like to kill someone. As this wasn't what you would call a normal response, I kept chatting with him about other stuff. I learned that his girlfriend found him very cold and unemotional, and he suspected she was going to break up with him because of it. And he wasn't that bothered. I was a stranger to him really, and he was telling me this stuff as if we'd known each other for years. He said he'd always wondered what taking a life would feel like, and that if he was in the army he couldn't get in trouble for it. It was quite honestly the most chilling conversation I've ever had with somebody. You could argue that it was bravado but he was not swaggering, like a typical lad would be. This was very matter of fact. He wasn't smiling to show that he was joking, and when I changed the subject he would respond but then go back to it. I never got to work with him again, and he left soon after. But I often wonder what became of him.
I appreciate Dr. Todd’s’ detailed analysis of children who are at risk.
I don't trust his face
Definitely interesting
@@pluutoop you shouldn't always trust anyone.
@@johncreighton844 wtf?
@@johncreighton844 When you learn they're your own family* who seek to destroy you, take it All, leave you (a widow) for dead, with a 'blown-out brain'/ c-PTSD & and hoping you commit suicide...
You learned in Nov., they're on the rise, (+ "Fawning") outside your door - you definitely, start to feel that way, 5 years later.
"There aren't a lot of psychopaths in the general population...just around 1%". So in the USA there are around 3,650,000 psychopaths? That's a lot.
Most of them are in Government and positions of power. One thing he doesn't cover is most of them attempt to get in positions of power and if they are good at mimicking others and they are willing to do anything to get to the top which psychopaths will do which is why do many are in office. Bush Sr. and Jr. The Clintons and even Carter are all psychopaths. I know and dealt with all of them in my life.
We are a little bit behind what happens in the USA. They had animal therapy in courts years ago and UK just starting to get involved. Hopefully we will help the children that are ignored in abusive families that no one wants to talk about or help.
Most are incarcerated...
@@tonysimmons5729 most are in Government jobs. Law enforcement, political office etc.
Randal Turner You are confusing psychopathy with sociopathy. There is a major difference. Sociopaths often have certain skill sets and mind sets that matriculate them to positions of power. It’s what they do with that power that illustrates their true intention and identifies their neurosis.
I have some sociopathic traits, but I believe my parents made the right choice early on and taught me the importance of being kind to children and animals. I have difficulty understanding other people's emotions, which often makes it challenging for me to fit into society. Sometimes, I find myself watching cringy videos, like people getting booed off stage, and try to imagine myself in their shoes because I never feel embarrassed and have no shyness at all. In my younger years, I was very manipulative and felt no shame. I committed my first crimes at a very young age, and it escalated to break-ins when I was around 10 years old. However, I have never intentionally harmed anyone or felt the need to do so, aside from normal fights. When I was about 7, I witnessed a graphic car accident where a person had a severely injured head, but it didn't affect me emotionally. Now, as I am older, I find it increasingly difficult to explain or counteract my inability to socialize normally, which makes me sad because I anticipate getting into more trouble as time goes on. I experience emotions like everyone else, but I don't act on them for the sake of social approval like "normal" people do. I never lie because I always speak my mind, and I am often perceived as self-centered. However, I believe that, in all honesty, we are all self-centered to some extent; I just don't try to hide it because I don't care about trivial conflicts. I found this talk to accurately describes how I think I am on many points, and it relieved me to realize that I can express some form of empathy, even if it is considered mechanical. This realization assures me that I'm not a psychopath, and that is reassuring. Perhaps there is hope for me to.
You can have traits without being ASPD.
1. People are self-centered 2. speaking you mind is a GOOD trait, just try to read the emotions on the face of the other person. Try to develop reading the emotions of other people. If you don't understand how they feel do the same to yourself.
You can also ask people how they are feeling. Please keep up the good work. Know intellectually that being kind to people and animals is one of the best things you can do in life, even a small act of kindness sends out waves of good energy into the universe. 💗🙏
@@Beth-sn9ip What an absolute bullshit. There are no "waves of kindness". You're sitting on a molten rock ball wit
h a crust, spinning and zipping through endless emptiness and you think your "waves" make any difference to a fragment of the universe so small, that it defies any measurement of its volume against the whole?
It's just shit people do, random acts that change things that ultimately won't make any difference.
A great example is Dr. James Fallon who works at UC Irvine he’s written books about his own psychopathy he was diagnosed as a psychopath but he believes that his mothers kindness helped keep him from going further and his own education in the field of neuroscience also taught him to understand himself. This is an example of someone who could redirect the bad behavior or results.
I'm sorry, but something doesn't make sense here. Sounds like a misdiagnosis because it's very difficult to see how any REAL psychopath, even a child, can turn their life around so successfully.
I'm sure there are a lot of misdiagnosed humans. It can be an imperfect science depending on competency of mental professionals. There's too many who shouldn't be practicing mental health!
@@andreah6379 It's really disconcerting and, honestly, kinda rude for you to say that. Psychopathy is still a mental illness. Bringing a person's accomplishments into question on the sole basis of their mental illness is inappropriate.
Besides that, many psychopaths (diagnosed and undiagnosed) are successful in life. A person who knows they have psychopathy and receives the proper attention and treatment they need can function "normally" within society. You wouldn't actually be able to tell by their level of success whether or not they had psychopathy.
Also, many people who go into brain-related sciences (neuroscience, psychology, cognitive anything, etc.) do so precisely because they have a mental illness or disability and want to learn more about themselves. Dr. Fallon may have degrees in psychology, but he is *not* a therapist. He is a neuroscientist, professor, and researcher.
Andrea should see some of Dr. Fallon’s videos
As Dr Grande says. It's important not to go down the 'minority report' route - traits are just traits and the potential outcomes are diverse
This demonstrates how the focus on resources needs to be on indepth support. Those who focus on the justice system, should understand is a waste, its destructive.
Such gentle, careful, lucid and learned discussion of one of the most baffling, disturbing and under-examined human problems!🤔💎
That's a lot of 50 cent words, Bruce!
Overuse of multiple, consecutive adjectives in an attempt to sound more knowledgeable and sincere … what’s your diagnosis Doc?
Bad parenting
I knew the replies would be savage.
*_John 3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. 17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”_*
_Jesus Christ loves you. Only Jesus Christ saves. Repent and be saved. God bless you, and the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you and your family._
--
Thank you Dr. Grande for stating the fact that some individuals are abusive and neglectful parents. As a teacher, I have seen appallingly bad parenting decisions from overly permissive, overly rescuing and reality denying beliefs and actions to controlling authoritative, unyielding and contemptuous words and deeds towards the child. In Canada, it seems unless a child comes to school with severe physical wounds, CPS rarely intervenes. Institutionally, we have a problem too of being woke to cultural parenting practices and often administrators use this as an excuse to do nothing for a child. Not all parents are virtuous and I am often sickened by society's overendowment of a parents' right to really be freely neglectful and abusive of their child's physical social emotional and educational needs because their sexual act produced a resulting biological offspring. I have never understood why empathy training, good parenting practices are never a core part of K to12 curriculum. How many children could we help live a better life if we adopted developmental empathic nurturing mental physical health as a foundation of our schools?
@Kathleen Clarke No amount of empathy training will help a child if they have to go home to a parent that beats them.
And the reason why CAS doesn't go after the traditional nuclear family is because they are too busy kidnapping perfectly happy children from single mothers to meet a 5000 per year quota.
I worked in daycare as a highschooler in summer and the school year for many years. I saw so much. I loved the children but some people in those childcare places were not good people, including staff, parents and administration. Pedophiles in staff and abusive parents ect. I tried to confront as a sincere and intelligent young woman but was almost fired. I was so good at my work and the children really loved me and the state offered me a four year full scholarship to become a teacher. I had to leave that field. I was schock
Kathleen Clark! I work in the schools in the U.S and I see the same things. Kudos to you for speaking truthfully about what's going on with parents, children, and the schools!
🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️
Empathy is a core part of the BC curriculum. We have a program called ‘roots of empathy’ where kids in grade one have a baby come in once a week for the year, and the children learn to interpret the child’s behaviours, connect with how they are growing etc. It’s been off since the pandemic, but they also have multiple anti-bullying efforts, peer counsellors on the playground, etc.. I can say that bullying in school here (I have an 18 and a 12 YO) is really minimal. My 18 yo is bi-sexual, has a transsexual friend and a lesbian couple as part of their group. His friendship group has very skin shade in it. He’s never been overtly bullied or teased. In their last health class a couple of years ago they discussed gender and sexual differences, and he wasn’t terrifically happy being the centre of the conversation about the difference between transgendered, gay, etc etc. But that was the most uncomfortable he’s been about it (and I’m betting there were boys way more uncomfortable than he was that day 🤣). We’re doing something right, my sisters in Ontario say that bullying of all sorts is still really common there. It’s kinda a no brainer….
My kid was insolent, disrespectful, defiant, oppositional, disruptive, angry, punched/kicked holes in walls, was attention seeking, was highly distracted, very moody, wouldn't apologize to save his life, and lacked accountability... but he wasn't an animal abuser, arsonist, or thief, and he didn't hurt other kids; he loved animals and babies. I was at my wits end with him, so many times, wondering what I was doing wrong. He was getting kicked out of every daycare and suspended from school at an early age. Through it all, I loved him with all my heart and soul; even though, I have to admit that I didn't always like him (I just never told him that). I never gave up on him, and I was always there for him, and he always received lots of love and affection. When I had to discipline him, I made sure he understood why he was in trouble, and made it a point to talk to him about it, and let him know I still loved him. Still, he acted like he hated me; he was so awful to me at times. He saw a psychiatrist, but I didn't want him medicated. He saw counselors and refused to participate. He's 26 today, and honestly, he didn't really change his ways until he was about 22. Now, you'd never know he was ever that difficult kid/angry young man; he is so much different. Not sure what happened, or why and how he changed, but he did, and we're all happier for it. I'd like to think that he just outgrew it, and then grew up. I'm glad, yet baffled.
What was his diagnosis? Why did you choose not to comply with the doctors who wanted to prescribe medication?
No judgement, just curious...
Sounds like ADHD. Boys with ADHD can be a nightmare. It tends to calm down especially when they have their own needs met in life.
But trying to meet those needs for them as a child is practically impossible especiallywhen you don't know what you are doing. Them being verbally nasty and impulsive is part of it.
I knew a mum with a child like that and would get up in the middle of the night and raid the cupboards. Not to eat. Just to raid them and put the contents all over the floor. He was 4.
. He was a lovely lad but containing him in a daycare situation was dam near impossible.
If you told him off he'd go ballistic. So you had to basically do it in a very nice way.
Their brains are wired to not really understand rules. That's why they are so impulsive.
We basically had to never give in to him. but also not punish him. It just got into a battle that you'd never win.
He was a smart kid as well.
Life as an adult took his arse behind the dumpster and straightened him out probably and THEN he had a "coming to Jesus" moment where he realized everything you did was to prepare him for THAT moment and he woulda have never probably been behind the "dumpster" in the first place had he not been such a turd! Kids don't realize what we're doing, why we're doing it and we're doing it out of love until they hit adult hood and LIFE gets a hold of them! They THINK they know it all and then real life slaps the taste out of their mouth lol! Discipline is basically a watered down version and imitation of what's going to happen to them in real life if they mess up! I tell my son better to get grounded then end up in prison! Better a spanking than a death sentence! Better to get your stuff taken away than ending up homeless and etc. It's ALL a lesson on what they will face in the future! The problem is they don't have to work, pay bills and face the fears and anxiety as well as sleep deprivation we do over the later! They just get to have fun and do school work and chores and they think that's actually doing something! You did the right thing and it paid off! Respect!
he finally had to face the real world + actual consequences & then maybe he met Jesus & at last turned to the light!
I’m wondering if there is some kind of physical developmental issue in the brain with pressure in parts of certain area that could cause this or an undeveloped part of the hippocampus.
As a therapist for over 27 years, I really enjoy listening to you as there’s always pieces to continue to grow from and pick up in terms of the therapy process and diagnosis. Thank you for your insightful information🌻
This was always a fear of mine every time one of my children were born. Idk why.lol.😥 Luckily they are all very kind hearted. One is overly empathetic. I love your videos
Im the overly empathetic one! On the negative, its very painful to the point where I want to escape feeling to the point of wanting to die!
You're a lucky mommy
My fear too... I'm empathic... But I'm here cause I'm scared for my kids... For no real reason :D
@@suska11 Ha! I was just thinking- #1 sign a child is psychopath- she's mine 🤣🤣🤣
@@poutinedream5066 unfortunately I understand you completely 😄
1. Bedwetting
2. Fascination with fire
3. Hurting small animals
4. Stealing from friends and loved ones
5. Ignoring another crying child
6. Being dominant with authority figures e.g teachers
7. Commiting crime
8. Desire to see disturbing images
9. Fearless of consequences
10. Desire to cause fear
11. Poor parenting
People like that is the reason the elites start wars. It's a way to ship the scum off and have them return in flag draped coffins. It's a legal way of killing them and a way to clean up society.
We need our entire front lines filled with our sociopaths and psychopaths and with equipment that doesn't work. Let them all be mowed down.
2,3,4,5,7,8, and 10 were all things I did as a young child
@@holland2949 Same..
Fearless is part of being a kid, adults
@@chuckhockey9632, most kids fear consequences for bad behavior.
As to bed wetting, just as children grow at different rates, each child grows organs at a different rate. Small bladders mean they need to be pottied more often. We had a child with a small stomach. She was fed 7 times a day. The hardest part of raising her was explaining to siblings that they were also special but they did not need to eat so often. We had good results in getting them to "remind" us that it was time to feed their little sister. They are all grown up and while her tummy did grow up too she still prefers to nibble her way through the day.
Yes you are correct. I had a bed wetting problem when I was young, but only when we visited my Grandparents, and nobody could figure it out. Maybe it was the unlimited amount of soda we could drink in any flavor possible, like pineapple etc, which we all gorged on. Sugar holds water in the body. Yep, that was it, and I only figured it out when I became an adult.
In Brazil we have this saying "children who play with fire wet their beds". I thought it was kind of funny considering the two first signs.
😅
Poland has the same thing- guess it has a basis.
@@raxevonapbwd8769 that's very interesting! Greetings from Brazil. I'm very curious about Poland :)
Actually Philippines too..
Interesting--ASPD runs in my family and I know my sister played with fire but hadn't known about this.
This video is old, and others have already commented similarly, but I have to say, when you consider how much "free" advice there is on UA-cam, it's heartening to know there is a doctor (I mean you, Dr. Grande) who will research a question at length before answering. So many instant experts here and on the web in general - wonderful to get a thoughtful, researched reply. This is now my mental health go-to channel. No drama, no disturbing images for kicks and clicks, just solid, trustworthy information presented calmly and intended to truly educate and enlighten. There is so much shallow entertainment out there masquerading as "advice" it's scary. It's hard to make scholarly and intellectual information easily understood and accessible but you do. I think the quality of this channel is reflected in the comments section, too, as your viewers are the same kinds of thoughtful, intelligent people whose thoughts I enjoy reading.
I love this doctor he is so informative without going over people's head💜
Pocket sand!
That's why he's dangerous, Dale
Exactly!!
Me too
I spotted purple heart any army here 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Excellent way to talk about one of the points - psychopaths DO, sometimes learn to follow some rules - when it benefits them. Therefore, psychopathy can hide itself - can be under cover; so - don't think that just because someone seems to be adhering to some boundaries, that they are "normal".
If you think something is off - it probably is!
I checked that whole list by 12 years old. I’m 28 now. I made it to the other side with just some antisocial tendencies. I feel fortunate
Except the double murder case?
@@jaycrib303 Have not watched in a while, but my impression is that is not on the list, but rather an example. No, I did not murder anyone. I did check off the serialized list when I previously watched it and recognized behaviors of my own in the elaboration of each bullet point.
@@billycaves i know man i was just joking 😂
@@jaycrib303 I eat paste, it would seem
@@billycaves no worries, dr grande’s videos are usually no laughing matter lol
Developing psychopathy can happen easier than people might think. It’s important to keep positive people around you. I’m from an abusive family and in my adult years it’s brought out a lot of anger and resentment in me. I’m trying to cope and I’ve always been naturally friendly but sometimes I have very apathetic feelings towards human beings. I know it’s probably not healthy but I don’t really know how to change the way I feel.
@Abusive Potential nah “most” are not born. Where are you even getting that from lol. Most of us have done psychopathic things as kids and something ended up changing us and making us at least develop some empathy so that we can end up normal. Some people just didn’t get that chance. Psychopathic adults are just people who never grew up. They never developed empathy so they are stuck in that childlike state.
@@Anonymous-wi6ig Quite solid scientific research has been conducted on psychopathy, concluding it is biological.
@Abusive Potential To add to this, All psychopaths are born. It’s a chemical imbalance in the brain that causes abnormal apathy (or lack of empathy). It’s the sociopaths that are made. Although these disorders are more common in males, females can develop sociopathy too. The main causes are trauma from a young age (sexual or physical abuse, maybe even witnessing something gruesome such as beatings or even a murder). Most psychopaths and sociopaths show telltale signs of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder). Unfortunately, there’s no specific medication for these types of serious mental issues. Studies have shown that medication for ADHD, mood and anxiety disorders, or thought disorders can reduce behavioural problems and symptoms of psychopathy/sociopathy, but this doesn’t work for everyone.
@Abusive Potential That’s…exactly what I said.
@@reganh5223 Sorry, miss read
When I was around 5 I felt sorry for steping on all the little animals in the gras I couldnt see.
Great video
Same! I use to try and not step on ants cause I felt sorry for them. I use to think “I must be a scary giant to them” 😂 kids brains are usually so innocent and funny
Lol, I was the one that burned them and pulled off all their legs. :p
Omg sameee. I remember literally crying for like half an hour because I accidentally killed a butterfly.
I used to even cry over trees that my dad would cut down that weren't dead! I would say they're all Gods creatures!
I used to crush them. One time I turned it into a game and only stopped when there were too many and got scared. Stopped after that. Years later stepped on an ant accidentally and felt horrible. Which makes sense. During all that ant killing i was also the kid who saved a snail during a rainy day. Anyways few years later I became fine with ant murder again. Guess it was just a random flash of empathy which I get sometimes (compared to normal where I don't really feel it. Probably just my autism though). It always happens in the weirdest places.
One of the most interesting articles I have ever read on psychopathy was n the subject of why psychopaths seem to do "better" in society as opposed to neurotics. The article was an analysis of MMPI findings and the conclusion was that neurotics suffer much more anxiety than psychopaths and this hinders them socially.
I appreciate your extra research into psychopathy before recording this video. I have CPTSD from the first 15 years of my childhood, and have recently learned a lot from watching Bessel Van Der Kolk videos on childhood trauma. I am an INFJ personality and often have insight into the body language of friends, and strangers. My mother was a malignant narcissist, and possibly, psychopathic.
I hold my mother and compliant father responsible for destroying the lives of myself and three siblings. At 74 years old, I seem to have finally crossed the starting line in my development as a person.
I’m sorry to hear that Edward but I feel that it’s never too late to develop as a person. It’s encouraging that you are moving in a positive direction.
Thanks for your comment, it made me cry.
It is pretty amazing that you are still intentionally developing, growing, and learning. Kudos
Thanks for the recommendation. I will check him out. I’m always looking for videos on healing from childhood trauma. Oh wow. I’m an INFJ too and my mom was a vulnerable narcissist and my dad was/is her devoted follower. Our house was like the worlds smallest cult. My sister and I were extremely abused and twisted and manipulated. It has led me to be very confused and messed up in life, including being severely depressed and suicidal. But I am working on it.
The sheer organization of this video is astounding. I love that the descriptions of these signs, too, all come to us from a science-based format that Dr. Grande ALWAYS provides, no matter the topic. If only the political arena were as fair and unbiased as Dr. Grande!
The kid next door back where I grew up definitely displayed all of these signs. He joined the army and trained as a paratrooper, and he adapted well to army life and made a career out of it. He never committed any crimes to my knowledge.
1. I don't know if he wet the bed at all, but he peed on our dog at least twice.
2. He had a fascination with fire and would frequently steal toilet rolls to set them on fire outside. Granted, I really enjoyed it too, and we gathered a big pile of paper in a nearby sandbox and lit it on fire. It was pretty great!
3. I have no idea if he hurt any mammals, but we used to capture all sorts of insects and he used to put bees in the freezer to slow them down to safely remove their wings and watch them crawl around. I remember him also torturing a big snail to death.
4. Yeah, he lied and manipulated people all the time. I especially hated when he passed blame for his actions onto me...
5. He wasn't fazed by others in distress. I remember crying myself when my bike broke after falling over, and he ended up getting mad at me.
6. He showed a lot of dominance against authority figures. He often refused to cooperate altogether, and even tackled a teacher to the ground at elementary school.
7. A family living next to us went on vacation, and soon we realized one of their windows had been vandalized. The kid told me he actually broke in to the house by going through the window and said he took (read: stole) some of the toys that were in the house. He got a few cuts on his hand from the broken window, and he said he went home and cried to his mother and said he fell over and cut himself. They believed him...
8. We had our own desks at school when we were like 8-10, and he kept this cut out image of a prop corpse inside of the cover of his desk. He also linked some gore videos to me when we were just ~12, and it was quite horrifying to me at least. I don't know if he had a desire to look at it, but at least he did look at it.
9. He didn't care about any punishment. He was removed from the class every week for disruptive behaviour, and got a bunch of detention. He also seemed quite fearless when it came to pain, as he sometimes simply told us to hit him as hard as we could. We did (on his stomach/shoulders) and he just seemed proud about taking the punches.
10. He did bully a little, but it was mostly about physical dominance instead of psychological tormenting. He developed a tough reputation back in elementary school, but when we were 13 and moved to different schools, he got introduced to kids who didn't know about his reputation and he was viciously attacked by some of the new kids. He reacted by bringing a knife to the school the next day and by threatening everyone who teased him. After that, he became a complete loner who was not bullied, but wasn't anyone's friend either.
11. His parents were divorced and he lived with his neglectful mother. He always said his mom was out most nights with her friends and came home drunk. I don't think he was abused at all, but he didn't have a father figure and his mother wasn't very responsible.
I haven't talked to him in years, but I did see him a few times after reaching adulthood. He's relatively unemotional, but seems very attentive and extremely disciplined -- sort of like a "super soldier". He could be a psychopath, but I don't think he's a danger to anyone (or at least not to civilians).
I always thought he joined the army due to becoming a loner at age 13. I feel he just wanted a place to belong, and a place with structure and reliability -- something he didn't have when growing up.
But maybe he joined the army to live out some violent fantasies. Who knows.
"They are natural leaders who will motivate other soldiers to kill. They are also fiercely competitive and will aggressively pursue victory."
-US Army Major David S. Pierson on "natural killers"
You could be a writer. Great. Your 11. About his parents tells it all. Best of luck!
Choose a job you love and never work a day, right?
Such insight💕
There is an excellent book called "The Psychopath Next Door." Many walk amongst us every day. Not all psychopaths are killers or criminals by any means but serial killers are generally psychopaths. It is written by Jeremy Torie and is excellent (if not terrifying). I believe a film was made about the book. Also "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout.
I remembering learning that the vast majority of psychopaths do not actually commit any crimes, so he could very well be a high-functioning psychopath. I'm glad he managed to get his life together and I hope he's doing okay, emotionally
I have an older sister who has hated me all my life. I am in my 60s and she still hates me. She told my other sister that when I was born she loved me but after a few months she hated me. She was very mean and abusive and did cause me a great deal of fear. My other sister was abusive in an I don't care about you way. She was very passive aggressive. My parents were very dysfunctional. Our whole family was. My mother was very abusive and psychotic--hallucinating, making up stories that were not true and believing that they were, raging, etc. My father was in denial about all of it. I'm the youngest of 3 children. It is amazing that my oldest sister still hates me but I am very grateful that we are estranged because her behavior has never seemed normal to me and I find her to be frightening. It's terrible what can happen to people.
That is awful that you had to grow up in a family like that when you needed and deserved a family who treated you with love.
@@horsepanther Thank you so much. I appreciate you saying so.
Nearly a year later, I wish you all you deserve. I do hope you are settled now and that such a traumatic childhood is behind you.
There is absolutely no shame in going non-contact. Value yourself by having nothing to do with anyone, your sisters included, who bring you down.
Never let yourself be belittled or intimidated by another person, you are so much better than them.
I wish you happiness.
Take care of yourself.Based on the family dynamics you didn't stand a chance😢
If a child exhibits these 11 traits, it’s a definite indication that they require immediate help. How often have you read about the “nice quiet boy”, the introspective boy who keeps to himself while developing private obsessions eventually falls prey to the ultimate anomie? That’s another trait. A lot of these serial killers are very quiet and unsuspecting in youth and they’re quiet because they don’t want anybody to know they have manifested a dark and disturbing fantasy.
I am so so so so relieved while I listen to this and reflect on my boys... who go out of their way to arrange and cuddle all their soft toys, making sure each one receives equal attention. who love animals and smaller children, who don’t bed wet and aren’t at all interested in fire! Thank the Lord!!! I am so grateful I have nonpsycopathic kids!!!!
Just wait until they bring you grandkids lol. Their wives might be a psychopath
@@chilliecheesecake Nah. I never get invited to parties. People say that I cause too much fights and chaos. Most people stay away from me because many think I am a serial killer.
@@James-vk5ov reasonable suspicion.
@@James-vk5ov if this is serious then you should reach out for help, you deserve a better quality of life.
@@kaiasiva6759 HE Was being sarcastic to the comment about him being fun at parties gee!!
My son who is now 21 had/has all these signs. I kept telling his therapists and phycologists about his issues including killing small animals (pets). He was so manipulative he made me seem like I was overreacting and I needed the help. 3 pets he killed and who knows what he did that I had no idea about. Now that he’s an adult I feel like I owe the world an apology for setting him loose on society, I know he’s capable of terrible things. You know how they always interview the family after a tragedy and they always say I never thought my kid was capable of doing something so horrific? That won’t be me, I know and I’ve been telling every professional we saw since he was 3 that something was very very wrong.
I’m so sorry you’ve endured this. You are not responsible for him, and it is not your fault. This sounds like a nature problem, not a nurture problem. Hopefully he can be one of those who immerses himself in productivity that can quell his harmful and criminal behaviors. If he can’t, it certainly is not your problem, anymore than a stranger who does bad things.
Just put him down already if you really think you messed up that hard.
I know exactly what you mean. I am also the mother of such a child. Be careful. If your child isn’t dead, or in prison,you are still in his sights. Watch out for identity theft. My daughter ruined both my mother and myself financially with that. She spent $12,000 in one month, using my 80 year old mother’s credit card. I finally had to bring mother home with me to keep my daughter from burning her house down, with her in it, to collect the insurance. Their schemes get more sophisticated as they get older.
I will be praying for you. Jesus loves you and your son🌝
That's very brave of you to say. I wish you the best and that somehow you are spared anymore awful worry.
My brother hurt small animals when we were growing up and thought it was so funny… he grew up and stole money from family all the time, my dad mainly. Got on drugs real bad, has been in and out of jail and prison his whole life. Stole cars, stole random things from family. Broke into my dads and stole nearly 3000$ from him not even caring the consequences. Got into trouble nonstop growing up . Got into a lot of fights, failed school, tried to set the kitchen on fire and blamed it on someone braking in but his clothes smelled like gasoline and he tried to throw them away in the trash like noone would find it, ran away from home numerous times, robbed a few stores, lied about every little thing when we were growing up . Stole 600$ from our grandparents before. Now he’s spending his life in prison for having felony after felony. It’s very sad but I’ve known since we were kids that something was wrong.
Sounds like my sister in a nutshell. She started off hurting small frogs when she was young. Spent her childhood and adulthood locked up
As someone who has a lizard for a pet which spread to appreciation for other critters the frog thing made me sad.😢
I'm in my thirties now and I still can't believe I didn't end up a violent psychopath. My parents were very neglectful of me when I was growing up. Dad was (and still is) a massive drunk who never spends a single second sober if he can help it, and my mother was so unhappy being married to him and having to raise us that she would normally come home from work and just go straight to the couch (her bed basically) and go catatonic. My little brother by 4 years was an incredibly violent, rage filled child who often attacked me. My earliest memories are of me running away from him after he became angry and would immediately run to the kitchen to grab a knife. I would run to my bedroom and had to physically hold the door shut against him until he calmed down. He even went so far as to stick the knife under the door to try to stab my foot in case i was blocking the door with it.
I was regularly bullied all through elementary school (not much, but no friends and it was enough to hurt) but then we moved to a small town at the end of my 6th grade year, and started going to that towns school. Not only was i physically attacked on my very first day and was constantly bullied by several truly evil children in my class, but the teachers and staff were almost worse. My English teacher was a drunk who spent half the class with her head planted on her desk, my history teacher kept the classroom at like 90 degrees, was always blood red, and would go on screaming rants where he'd yell at us and randomly throw stuff, and the vice principle decided to by my nemesis. Whenever I would go to staff for help with my bullying he would turn it around on me, make it my fault, and call my bullies into the office with us basically so he could show them who was tattling on them. I was so traumatized after 2 years of that I had to homeschool for two years because when summer vacation was winding down I was having legit nervous breakdowns and begged to not have to go back.
Put all that together and I truly don't know how I didn't end up a revenge seeking monster. Instead I constantly worry what negativity my actions might have on people. I double and triple check my actions to make sure they are appropriate, I constantly go out of my way to be polite and considerate, moderate my tone and word choice, all so I can avoid causing any offense to anyone. And the only reason I can come up with is: I grew up with a lot of pain, and the absolute last thing I ever want to do is make others feel pain. I know what it's like, it hurts, it traumatizes, it drove me to an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I could NEVER live with the guilt if I knew I passed all that pain on to someone else, and made them hurt, made them give up. I'm proud to say I'll be a 100% pacifist till the day I die
Search for islam and Keep going pro and don't let that shit take you down
@@Adam-wc5ol would you please shut up? He's a great human being and no religion has saved him till now. What's the use of your religion for him? To lable others as kafir or mushrik? Would you please shut your mouth? Please.
Proud of you. Keep up the good work. God still love you and God bless you.
There's still time .
God is with you and never left you. You were never truly alone. May the grace of Jesus be with you
As a child I was extremely indifferent to emotions of others, sometimes callous but more as a spectator and had no desire to hurt or help people. I realized that my actions were a direct result of how my parents treated me. I think a lot of kids start out on this path with horrible home lives, then they grow out of it. Ever since I had my kids I have never been that person, and did a complete 180.
I think sometimes kids are made this way, while others are born to it. I've showed my kids lots of love and empathy and they are the children that maybe I could have been under different circumstances.
On a side note I'm close with a family who has a child who did torture animals, beat another child unprovoked and would soil themselves on chairs, couches, floors as a preteen. Parents are good people but dad is in complete denial about their kids behavior and mom is too embarrassed to seek help.
Very insightful comment, thank you
Unfortunately that means that parents are not good people beacouse the most important role of the parents is to raise good children that will be capable to bring good to the community,world etc.
I had all those traits as a child. I bedwetted until I was around 12 years old, loved gore images since I discovered the internet (around 7) and would steal from anyone, including my own mom. I was very neglected at the time. My childhood sucked and now as a teenager I try to feel more empathy towards people, but it's very hard
sel fish The good news is you’re able to recognize it which, I think, means you care. Best of luck to you!
Hay you are able to feel something. I would suggest to surround yourself with people that will love you for who you are and want nothing in return, seeing the good in them could make more of your good come out. Jesus loves you🌝
Cry over your childhood. Realized you had it bad. So cry. Go running too until your lungs can't take anymore and cry
Also scream and yell
The fact that you want to make an effort is promising in itself
I’m probably revealing more than I should, but I had a lot of these traits as a young child-especially the first three (McDonald’s or “Dark” triad). In addition, I stole toys from close childhood friends, beat a teacher with a belt and so on… Probably the most disturbing thing I did was coerce classmates to pantomime sex acts in the bathroom at school (pre-kindergarten). I got caught and my parents had to come to the school to talk to my teacher (I loved this teacher who also took me to see Star Wars in 1977). Later, I’d touch other older and younger kids inappropriately etc… Now, at the exact same time, I also had tremendous and overwhelming empathy for animals. I would never kill bugs or spiders. I’d always set them free outside, but I’d sometimes hurt a small dog or cat. I beat a teacher with a belt in class, but was very close with other teachers. I set fires, but, as a little kid, I put out a house fire I came home to after school (my sister left a lot on the stove and left the house). I’m saying all this to say that I had a mean step-father who beat me for anything. I know this sounds unlikely but I think those beating s kept me from becoming a monster. Some may say it was abuse and actually contributed to my disturbing traits but I disagree. I think if it were not for him constantly riding my behind, forcing me to play sports, do crazy chores and get good grades, I’d be a horrible horrible person. I still have disturbing thoughts but I “outgrew” the bed wetting, fire obsession and animal abuse before age 10. Still, I’m disturbed but I may have experienced (that I cannot remember) as a small child to make those impulses so strong. Now I have a healthy fear of consequences. I care about others and animals especially. I can still be quite cold and detached however.
As usual, your ability to explain complex subjects in a way that non-professionals can easily understand is remarkable. Thanks Dr. G! Happy 2023!
Thank you for sharing that. Congratulations Happy!
This is quite interesting and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing.
I’m glad you’re doing better in society now.
I just have to say, youre absolutely idiotic if you think your issues weren't BECAUSE of th abuse. You literally recreated your abuse to an adult
So timely. Many, many families attribute any slightly maladaptive behavior to “ psychopathic”..... overlooking Autism, ASD, etc. Also, the mere suggestion of “ fire- setting” or any harm to an animal/ bird/ insect equalsPAST HOPE. Very frustrating and frightening. I am actually REFERRING folks to your site. Bless you.
mrs Macca Don’t forger Asperger’s on there..
Also mrs Macca, many parents are quick to label more noticeable juvenile behaviours as ASD, ADHD, or bilpolar; but refuse to take time to consult with experts and consider how their parenting (or lack thereof) may be contributing to their child’s/ children’s behaviours.
I've come to the conclusion that the absence of love and affection as a child is possibly the most damaging factor... How is person supposed to understand healthy relationships if neglect is the model that they have normalized for them? Indeed, if they are taught callousness, bullying, etc, as standard, then it's no small wonder that this behaviour then becomes habitual for the child.
I'm a firm believer in the idea that all behaviour is learnt, and that goes for habitual thought, too.
I've heard it said, by people smarter than me, that the opposite of love is not hate, it's neglect.
All behavior cannot be learnt, I refuse to believe that and here is my anecdote why . I was adopted into an extremely violent household. Two of my earliest memories are getting a cigarette put out in my eye and cleaning up someone's blood after my adoptive mom sliced there face open. As an adult now I'm very numb go violence but I'm not a violent person. Now I finally got to meet my real mother at age 27 and guess what? I am a spitting image of her in not only looks but personality. Same hobbies, same interest, same humor and even same speech patterns. I am my mothers son all the way. I've always thought about nature vs nuture and after meeting my real blood I would say nature has a true effect. Also for clarity, my birth mother gave me up at birth so I had no time to pick up these traits around her.
While I agree that an otherwise healthy and neurotypical child can be damaged and traumatized by abuse, behaviour is not all "nuture". My sister and I were raised by the same parents and have different emotional responses and triggers (pretty stable, loving, but sometimes flawed parents who both of us love a lot). There are children who are not neurotypical and can be helped greatly by good parenting and school supports, but they never (or rarely become "normal". And there are people born without typical emotional/psychological features who will never be productive members of society. Parenting and social conditioning plays an enormous role, but the starting point for how those children will inevitable function is innate. There are also a good many loving, productive, people who had terrible childhoods. Innate personality matters.
@@shieh.4743 If your opinion is firm, then you won't be influenced by anything I have to say. However, the experiences of of your sister and yourself are not identical [I haven't assumed you're male, incidentally]... parents behave towards the genders differently, for a start. Each of you would have different circles of friends, different influences. And so on.
The formula has too many variables to suggest that the same parentage should produce identical results. Similarly, a handful of apparently key events will not necessarily impact two people in the same way. In short, there is no way to disprove either theory, which is why the argument rages on.
PS why would being a productive member of society be the measure of a good person?
If you ever wonder what someone's abuser is like, just look to see what that person has normalized.
And it can be a bitch to navigate the world when you have become numb to some things.
This brought up some kinda freaky memories from my childhood. When I was three/four, a neighbor boy used to do things I didn’t like. He’d kill animals like frogs and lizards we’d find in our yards. He was always trying to find matches because he liked to light them. He’d break my toys and laugh about it. He NEVER listened to adults. He was always in trouble at home, but punishment never upset him or caused him to correct his behavior. Thankfully, his family moved when we were about to start kindergarten, so I didn’t have to deal with him. I remember my mother being fairly relieved that the family moved, too. His mother ALWAYS sent him over to our house to play, so I think my mother was relieved to be rid of the kid.
This all happened back more than 50 years ago. I wonder whatever happened to him. The next time I visit my parents, I’ll have to ask my mother about this to see if she remembers any of this. All I know is that I haven’t thought about this kid in years. Interesting what things we lock away in our heads.
Dr. Grande, you treated this topic with so much empathy and diplomacy! I am really touched by it.
Dr. Grande this discussion was so well presented, and so very timely, thank you. It was also quite chilling on a personal level. My friend has an 8 year old grandson who exhibits almost all of these behaviors. The daughter, the boys mother, won’t share the truth with the boys’s counselor. He has two little sisters and bullies them and violent to the little girls. No one deals with him. He talks about guns and knives. He takes knives from their holders and chases his mother or he’ll put it to his throat. It’s a nightmare and so sad on so many levels.
Please. YOU must report him. You will save Ives. Also. In
Irvine CA there's a Dr. Amen: he and his clinic can read the human brain's construction by M. R. I. Dr. Amen's own grandson had a small tumor. When the tumor was removed...the grandson's eractic behavior was eleviated. Good success to you!!! Gregg Oreo long beach ca
Both the mother & grandmother Must share this violent behavior of this boy to the counselor and/or remove him from the home. These poor girls Do Not deserve this! Geez! Just how important are the girls' safety?? They are human beings with inherent human rights. They are equal as human beings, are more vulnerable, and require more protection.
By default, the girls are already being failed by caregivers who can but yet won't intervene. Inexcusable! The girls will be permanently traumatized. Someday, they will resent all of the adults who failed them, blame them possibly for life. Plus, they'll be set up for future unhealthy / abusive relationships. This is coming from me, who resents both of her parents for the abuse suffered. I sometimes felt that my mom didn't care enough about me. I am permanently traumatized & even resent the Church for failing me. Why does God give children to bad & undeserving parents, especially when religion is involved?? I hope He cares when children suffer & survive & grow up permanently broken!
@@christyviolet926 I am so sorry that you have suffered and been abused in your life. It makes me sad that you have suffered. There’s no glib response that could fill in any of the “whys” that you have. No one, especially the Lord, wants little ones to be hurt or preyed upon, or suffer.
It was not okay what happened to you.
Some people do very bad things for reasons that we cannot fathom…and especially to little ones. It is written, “Touch not, hurt not one of these little ones, for it would be better for them if a millstone was tied around their neck and they be thrown into the sea, and drown, than for them to hurt one of these little ones.”
That is a very big warning to anyone who would hurt a child. We don’t have the luxury or the right to witness the response of such heinous behavior. But the Lord, who is judge, He shall be the witness. It is sufficient. We who have been traumatized by those people, must take a different path…one of choosing to walk towards healing. Healing doesn’t just happen. At some point in your day, remember that you are not defined by the atrocities that happened to you, but by the choices you make. You are a unique and precious presence on this planet. Celebrate that you draw breath and that you are wonderfully made…no one can take anything from you that the Lord gave you. Remember that…rediscover who you are and let the “why” you are here, unfold gently, like raindrops on rose petals…until you can receive and hold all the love and beauty around you…and savor it…and then share it with others.
@@sharonhagen6362 Thank you, with all of my heart, for being the only other person, besides my husband, for validating my residual pain. In fact, you validated all of us who were abused, Betrayed, bullied, & traumatized. Where other "Christians" try to explain away or oversimplify, and wind up minimizing this, you don't. You represent the best of the Church body, as it actually should be. God bless you. 🌹
@@christyviolet926 thank you for your kind words. I treasure them! Christina, I believe that you are on the threshold of a very new and sweet season in your life. Give yourself the freedom to practice feeling joy, and know that it’s not going to be snatched from you! Remember this, the Lord has a sense of humor, and He delights when His children
learn new things…it’s never too late to have a happy childhood (it just takes practice)! Big hug to you and know that I will pray for you and your husband. God bless you dear one!
My sibling wet the bed until she was at least 11, had a diary around the ages of 9-14 where she expressed hating people and wanting them dead. She has always had anger issues... a couple of years ago she killed a pet out of rage. She’s now a mother. She is very anti-social and is passive , she takes to social networks to express her hatred for the people around her... and would rather start an argument via text then just having a normal conversation.
Unfortunately, I have had to limit my desire to bond with her.
Why do you know what's written in her diary? Maybe other people overstepped her boundaries and for her there was no other way out of that toxic bond but to act out in a way that would make other people back off. It seemed to have worked pretty good.
Be there for her kids if you can.
This is a tough call because this woman sounds toxic. On the other hand, her kids may be in danger and so it may be in their interest if you were still around and involved in their lives.
@@Laura-sn8iy Oh definitely, it seemed to work quite well on that pesky pet.
😱
It's hard for me to comprehend how someone's mother could turn a blind eye, but in the case of a cousin, she did. At age 5, he'd already set 2 houses on fire, was caught drowning a neighbor's kittens, played with knives, and was also a bed wetter. She always made excuses. He's already done hard time for other things, more than once. As far as I know, he hasn't murdered anyone (yet), but is the type if/when he does, no one would ever find the body. He never got therapy - she didn't "believe" in it.
Sounds like what I observed with my Brothers wife and son. The Son actually murdered my brother. Date rape drugged and the plastic bag over his head causing him to suffocate
So it sounds like he was good at hide n seek......yes?
@@thedrummersclub3667 I’m sorry to hear that.
@Brigid Fitch Sometimes children who wet the bed have other physiological problems such as a bladder that hasn't caught up to the rest of their bodies. I think it's a bit wreckless to bunch bed-wetting in with psychopathy.
@@thedrummersclub3667 typical of GODLESS North American and european societies mostly.
Thank you dr. Grande. This is so interesting and helps explain the behavior of a couple of people I’ve known. I could have avoided some bad problems for myself if I’d been more aware that some people just aren’t fixable.
The kindest thing we can do for not only our children but also for society, our community is to be reflective of ourselves. Instead of feeling entitled to just have kids, ask yourself, can I afford emotionally & financially to raise a child on my own if there was a worst case scenario-mental problems or physical problems? Incredible stress without any support to either or both child/parent stopped me from ever wanting to get pregnant. I didn't ever want a child of mine to suffer the way I did because my mother told me she never wanted children. My mother had narcissistic personality disorder. I made sure that wouldn't be repeated with me. I never regretted my decision, in fact I'm relieved. I even think "worst case scenario" before even adopting a pet!
If every woman thought like that before pregnancy we'd would be facing extinction. Shout out to the drunk girls that would be keeping the earth populated 😂😂😂😂
Omg this. And test for parenting.
This would drop number of newborns to a crazy low. In a productivity crazed world, you have to produce every week with high consistency. If you have a difficult child you simply can't work that level as you will struggle with your own mental health. So babies are born because people just cross their fingers that it's gonna be okay.
I have a cousin with all of these symptoms.
Since he's been born, his parents haven't really taken care of him.
They haven't been "neglectful", but they've always been more free-range than anything else, allowing him to do whatever he wishes.
Whenever he was 3, he'd chunk his toys, and even knives, at people who were just sitting down on the couch, just minding their own business. No matter how many times he got punished for it, he'd do it over and over again to everyone, and laugh every single time.
He also started to torture and hurt animals, and when they bit back at him, he'd cry, and blame it on the animals for it all, and his parents would believe him.
One time, on my 17th birthday, we were all at the river catching little minnows. He was 4 around this time, and there was a fish that jumped out of the bucket that we kept the minnows in.
He grabbed a bottle nearby and kept on hitting the fish until it's body was torn up and splattered everywhere, and when I tried to stop him, he told me he'd kill me, and that he hated me.
He said that a lot to people. He often told people, and still does, that he'd kill them and hurt them.
The way he acts doesn't only extend to animals, however. He and my younger brother, who's about his age, are often forced to hang out because they're family.
So many times, he's hurt my little brother for no reason at all. He could do it right in front of you, and still blame the other kid for why he did it, despite having no reason at all. He does it just to get a laugh.
Even aside from my brother, when his baby sister was born, we noticed that she had scratches and bites on her, probably from him being jelous.
When they were bathing one time, he fed her his poop, knowing that she would eat it because she's a baby.
He's 5 now, and although he may not seem as bad as he always has been, he still is. He's just learned to hide it.
I feel that as he grows older, he'll develop into a psychopath.
Sorry guys for this long rant.
I just wanna see what other people think of it.
poop?!!! omg & the fish?? that’s horrible i’m so sorry. has anyone tried getting help for him?
@@justagurlllllllllll No. They think he's just gonna grow out of it as he grows older, despite some people advising that he needs help
@@sonbobsquarehog6367 reach out man, try to prevent something terrible from happening.
That’s crazy! It starts when they’re small. Hurting animals and other people is a big sign!
@@amicablenumbers473 yeah, he has to reach out and warn others. Imagine when he turned 18 and can buy a AR15. Oh my God!
this video made me realise i showed a lot of these traits as a kid, im glad i grew out of most of it naturally
Probably wasn't as natural as you think. You most likely had a parental figure that showed they loved or cared for you
Good for you ❤️
I guess this is why they don't like diagnosing children, because many grow out of it.
Always sad to see a child exhibit this type of behavior. I’ve seen a couple, and it didnt end well either time.
Did you thO psychO
Thank you for addressing such an important topic. I have a relative who has been diagnosed with these same things. Trauma in childhood, killing animals, watching endless videos of death, in all forms, and the last was arson. Soon we will know what the court decides the outcome is. I try and learn all I can on this subject. To try and understand the actions and behaviors. He clearly does not think of any outcome from his actions. Have seen it over and over. Gets out, does the same thing. More on these topics would be helpful. Again, thank you, Very well done.
While the Doctor explained his list of symptoms I thought how well such a child would have performed in the dangerous world of our ancestors. The stone age which lasted far longer than our present civilisation. Probably some of the kind were just fit to be leaders and Kings..
Or maybe psicopahts are much less evolutionate people
@@NickVenture1 I wish it could be always that easy ... Not everyone at the army are psycho, this is way many soldiers use to suffer heavy traumas. Also not all psychos likes to fight at war, most are quite cowards, they prefer to move on civil life, harming good people for free, just because they are such a sadists . So sad and frightful
@@SA-rn4ex Yes. Of course. There are so many different cases, circumstances, personalities that never can be applied one rule to everybody all along the history of human kind.The example of an A bomb dropping crew member going to play tennis after having blown up an entire city is not even intended to demonstrate a personality disorder! In the contrary! Rather to show that the definition of a mental disorder may not be that easy because actions which are for some cases evaluated as pathological aggressions and nuisances and lack of empathy when done "against the norm" may well be considered a beneficial activity and personality trait when destruction of humans appears to be part of an ordered mission in behalf of those fellows who will not be able to fulfill such orders because not everybody will be "fit" to do so. (Fitness to do so is the key here and matter of this demonstration aiming to suggest that a society will define the outcast personality with varying criteria depending on culture, events etc. I just want to give hints in order to increase the panorama when judgements and evaluations are done. And when some Doctors consider that a more turbulent acting child has symptoms of a kind of disorder. It may be most interesting to do further studies about the "rule of law" among early humans. How did they think about right or wrong, crazy or normal or graced with leadership qualities and bravery.
@@NickVenture1 Ar you said, "rule of law"it also depends on culture, contexts, sociality time lapse, government... different factors affecting. But that's not the matter if the video
@@SA-rn4ex BAM 💥 YOU GOT IT RIGHT!
I worked with a lot of kids with conduct disorder in a level 14 group home agency in CA. Most were severely abused or neglected early on in life. Some were tentatively labeled as aspd by their psychiatrists. Their behavior was extremely severe & troubling. One of the most dangerous, difficult jobs I've had.
Thanks for this video, very interesting and informative.
Tarren Pearson hi could you give a few specific examples of troubling behavior you saw? I'm curious. Thanks.
@@BlackLabelSlushie I've seen the whole spectrum of extreme behavior from children because I worked for the highest level facility in California. Some examples of daily precautions we had to take were that every utensil, every room, every cabinet had to be locked at all times to prevent clients from hurting themselves or others. No glass allowed in the homes. Medication was monitored carefully. We had to perform physical restraints on kids daily t prevent them harming themselves or others. We had kids who would urinate or deficate and attack other children or staff with their bodily fluids. We had kids steal vehicles from staff while being transported. We had children stab staff members, attack them any way they could. Kids who would set fires, destroy property constantly just for any reason, kids who would bust up every wall in the house. We also had a lot of self harm front these kids. It was a very dangerous job as we were the last stop before the kids would be sent out of state to what was essentially a child prison.
It was a very emotionally and physically taxing job. I had several co-workers injured permanently working there (concussions and brain injuries) and I was punched in the face or had my hair ripped out more times than I remember. You learn to calculate behavior and be very aware of your surroundings, ave to deal with trauma and crisis in a very detached, clinical way. In a way it really numbed me to a lot of trauma and sad stuff I saw. There were some success stories, with some of the kids, which was rare but so rewarding. I still keep in touch with a few, 8 years later.
Tarren Pearson Wow. OK, that's bad. Dumb question, but how are you sure most were severly abused or neglected?
@@BlackLabelSlushie because we had access to their case files & history
The ones who aren’t detected and put away early, become middle managers in a small office environment.
Lawyers Ceos MEDIA. Doctors
My experience is that some middle mgmt would qualify, but more seem to flock to executive-level managerial positions.
Yes its terrible they are the most successful
Sometimes they become "leaders" of countries all over the world....
Most likely they either become leaders in corporations or politics OR in jail for a violent crime.
Wow. Excellent presentation. I’m a former child psych professor, family and child therapist / clinical psychologist. Your talk brought back memories of kids, and a family system that had a cold, callous father, in his 50s, a doctor, who had a 23 year old girlfriend. He asked me, before the marriage had ended, if he could bring the girl to family therapy. He told the children about her, without shame. They had two boys, aged 7 and 9. Often, after my meetings with the children, the mom would take them to the pet store for a hamster, guinea pig, mouse etc. One appointment, with just the boys, I commented that they must have lots of pets. The younger brother confessed that they really didn’t have many, because his older brother was always finding new ways to kill them. Feed to the dog, drown in the pool, run over with the lawnmower, etc. The mother was oblivious, and said that she had not caught on to the reason for the frequent disappearance of pets. She just replaced them. She also had hidden from herself, the affairs that her husband had been having for many years. He wanted to stay married, and be allowed to keep his young girlfriend, acting as though it was a perfectly reasonable arrangement. He also was openly racist, and taunted his wife for having dated a black football player in college. He was anti social, but high functioning in society. The wife asked the husband for a divorce, and he off on his merry way. The boy who was killing animals was sent to a specialist. I continued to work w the mom and boys for a few months, post divorce.
Yeesh
Wow
Very good video. Many parents fall into the denial trap that their child is some chosen one who’s perfect. Sometimes you have to humble yourself to get your child the support they need early on, so they can live a healthy life later.
There is Hope... I had literally EVERY feature you described as a child, I had childhood trauma also... I committed crime as a child, tortured and killed animals as a child, fought and beat people with bats as a child, I caused terrible arson as a child, and because of my fearlessness had childhood trauma... They put me on the states highest dose of adderall and ritalin to treat me. They also also used intense therapy and my parents moved me to a different town..I eventually got better in high school and I'm 30 now with a house, job, and good support... I would say I'm an empathetic sociopath now.. I used to just be extremely sociopathathic, but I definitely know and understand empathy...The sociopathathic side of me though became a heroine addict but I'm recovering...My parents did the best they could with me honestly, and I did ALOT of horrible things as an adolescent and adult to people, but I'm getting better....Love ALL and care for these children and show them love and they can lead successful lives...
Hope you're keeping well.
Yes there is! I’ve had all these signs to the dot. I am now seeking therapy and trying to teach myself proper English. I am quite illiterate since I didn’t pay attention much in school. It’s not as bad but I have no idea how to use commas.. colons and all that stuff
Wish you the best 💕💕
Yes, there's hope. Edgar Allan Poe, according to one of his stories, apparently abused a cat terribly. He regretted it, eventually. Knowing his history, I suspect alcohol was involved.
I hope you're doing well with kicking heroin. I've been an addict for nearly 30 years now, it's a bastard of a life. I'm not strong enough to get through detox, no matter how I try.
I am so glad that I found this video. I have a 21 year old son who was diagnosed when he was just 8 with ASPD. I took him to this psychologist because he was having problems in school with class work. She did a brain scan and after a week called me in and the office simply handed me an envelope with the diagnosis in it. No feed back, suggestions, or even a meeting with the psychologist. I tore up the diagnosis and wrote her off as a quack. My son was difficult to raise and would often argue with me over rules and boundaries but never displayed the types of characteristics that you discribe in your video. Fast forward, I just went through a 3 year divorce from hell and found that I had been emotionally, and financially abused by my ex. My son's behavior got out of control. Arrests (which were hidden from me), drug and alcohol abuse and constant breaking of rules that I set. I finally asked him to leave and he is now living with the "fun parent". He rarely speaks to me and when he does he is verbally abusive. He seems pretty miserable to me and I was afraid that he had his fathers' characteristics. He may or he may just be acting out but at least now I know he doesn't present as having ASPD.
I hope things are better but I do hope the both of you have put honest effort to repairing each other’s relationship
@@SuperMisteryMan01 Yes, thank you. It took four years but things are slowly improving. Once he moved out of his father's house he started talking to me again and even came for the Holiday's this year. It is a slow process but he seems to be much more respectful toward me and even said he loved me.
(B.A. in Psychology) This has been an interest of mine since college, thank you for this.
Though I’m convinced that I had my first experience with a psychopath when I was a little kid. So was she, she was about two years older than me and the only one close to my age who happened to live in the same neighborhood as me. I’ll especially never forget the empty, resentful look she had in her light blue eyes. The ways she would act out would be impulsively violent like slapping other kids who crossed her almost without missing a beat. From what my mother later said, she also acted out in some ways that were suggestive of past sexual abuse or exploitation. Like there was one time when she was placing my objects on various parts of my body-not unclothed or anything but still-in weird ways and from what my mother later told me, my psychopath “friend” actually tried to do a Burlesque number in front of her. And she was just freaking eight! The final straw was one day when I was playing with her hair with my new toy comb and she got REALLY mad at me and literally yanked a chunk of my hair directly out of my head and just left it there on my bedroom floor next to my bed. Then my mother said that my psychopath “friend” remarked-TO my mother-that I “needed to die”. I think that may have actually been her sick way of joking and she said that to get a kick out of my mother’s reaction. That’s a key thing about psychopaths-people’s negative reactions are entertainment to them. But with her own mental illness and incredible lack of social awareness at times, my mother took it as her literally threatening my very life and refused to let her anywhere near me anymore. And my dad very readily agreed.
I think my parents did make the right decision there. Even if it was just the sick joke that I think it was, who knows if she could’ve actually tried to open the kitchen drawers next or something? Or what it could’ve escalated into next?
Then there was this one nephew of my second ex-boyfriend’s who was already showing classic ASPD signs and he was just 10. He did like animals and there was a black lab that was considered to be his who was kept at the house. She even had a litter of puppies. And he didn’t particularly seem to go out of his way to hurt people. At least not for entertainment. And not directly, unless they crossed him. He did have his good moments, like letting my bf and I borrow his swimming towel for my bf and I to lie on when we took him and his brothers and their sister out for a swim at the local lake. He did once steal the cash in my wallet after I confronted him once but it was just the one time and it was back when I still had plenty of money to go around. So I didn’t make a big deal out of it. He did tear up when he was confronted but that’s not exactly unusual for some kids. But he seemed to think absolutely nothing of stealing and destroying other people’s stuff or of just taking off whenever he wanted to. He got arrested for stealing and stripping bicycle parts on his 11th birthday, too. Last I knew, he’s since served a bit of time in jail for getting caught with a 15-year-old girl when he was 18 and has been working as a farmhand since then.
Your mom and dad did the right thing to protect you.
Sometimes the deviations, and sinful behaviors in humans are demonic in nature, meaning that there are demon powers behind those acts. We are not to go around judging people, but should keep this in perspective.
Thank you for sharing. It is good to have a mother and a father who would step forward to keep us safe from harm.
Do 18 yr olds go to jail for “consensual” sex with a 15 yr old?
@@CarlosPereira-cq7ywutter nonsense - this is a scientific forum there are no demons or sins.
Thank you Dr Grande as usual a very compassionate approach to a very tricky subject. Emotive 😐.
Empathy
My father saw all the examples that you listed in me and taught me an overabundance of empathy that is carried me through life I am too concerned with others so but that's not a bad thing
This is very good, but the issues Dr. Grande is discussing would be unlikely to respond to “teaching,” imo.
@@rs5570 I greatly disagree with you
Thank you for your indepth coverage that is so helpful to medical professionals, teachers, counselors. I appreciate your presentations so much! At 70, I still love to learn-as a mom, grandmother, foster mom, adoptive mom, emergency shelter provider and nurse I feel its imperative to learn all I can to best help children .
@Mary Leonard
That's a great attitude to have!
Life is much more interesting when we keep our mind open for new information.
If you voted for Biden, you also support sniffing of underage girls by creeps old men.
My step granddaughter is a psychopath. No hospital will treat her until she is 12 in Oklahoma. She has tried to hurt us, our animals, and are just trying to defend ourselves. We have locked doors on all the bedrooms because she comes in at night to steal, break, etc. My daughter is about to have a meltdown. She was sent to us to live a dr ago when cops caught her in a sexual situation in a public park (totally her idea) I'm glad to have found your channel. I'm trying to learn as much as possible. Thanks.