Habits We Are Unlearning (and Learning)
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- Опубліковано 20 лис 2022
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At almost 50 I am unlearning carrying everyone on my back...no more carrying people's burdens mine are heavy enough.....
In my 20s and i am struggling with this too
I recently learned this and am loving it
Unlearning to stop being my own hater and that there is no perfection . It doesn't exist. So I'll embrace my tiny perfect imperfections and speak more kindly to myself ❤️
This
🥺 needed this
Learning to not blame your folks for how they raised you is a super power. It's hard, but it gives you soo much peace.
I really admire Julia's ability to sufficiently express herself. Great topic ladies.
Dear ovef 25 I don't know what you think of yourselves.. I don't know if you know how huge and how inspiring and how educative you are
You are our sisters mothers coz you hold conversations that we'd never think of holding with our mothers.. Best friend life coaches and more I wish you all the best
Facts 💯
"Crying"😭😂
I thought its only me that felt this.😭 Thank you
Hey Over 25 ladies. I'm from Uganda and I am 1/5 of a team that hosts a channel called Bump Love. I diligently watch and LOOOOOOVVEEEE your show. I only landed on it earlier this year. So Nice ❤️.
I'm in Nairobi for work and just watched this when I realised how close I am to you. Yes! Just here to say - Keep doing you! East Africa is watching, learning and unlearning. Well done! P
I see you fav 😍, these ladies are awesome.Just like you Bump love stars .Always relatable
Oh Pumla I love the bump love! Your show is nothing short of amazing. You address topics that I’ve never heard anyone ever address in the African society. I stumbled upon your show a month ago and I can’t miss an episode now! You and the other members are teaching us invaluable lessons!
I am so glad to know that you watch over 25!
Wooow. I love Bump Love. You also keep doing you Pumla
I love bump love Pumla is a gem @overtwenty25 would love to see pumla on your platform
@@megvloggermeg3406 Yaass!!
We've over-glorify suffering on the road to achievements!! I'm unlearning!!
Congratulations to Lornzie🎊Good health and wealth to your baby 💙
I loved this episode. Some of the things I am unlearning is
1. Blaming myself for how people treat me
2. Trying so hard to maintain relationships or friendships that clearly it’s only me trying
3. Beating myself too hard when things are not working
4. Being scared to try after failing
5. Being negative because of my past
6. Handling my money still unlearning bad spending habits
I used to think that once you set a boundary in a relationship, it's over. Then I set a boundary with someone and they called me the next day, still friendly and life went on. Then I set another and they still stuck around. I was shooketh!
So I am unlearning being a people pleaser...
🥺wow, just wow!
Listening to Jules is like understanding my self better.... I relate to her in a million ways.
Actually Shikie said exactly what Mama Money Monday means...we don't expect you to be wealthy but it's through your thirst to know more about how to handle money and you taking us with you in this journey that got you that name. So yes, you are mama money Monday because you are an educator. And I pray you don't stop...
LOOOL I felt seen on that point about feeling obligated to fill up empty gaps in conversations. Sometimes you finish up sentences for someone and realize they didn't intend to say what you said. It's anxiety and people pleasing
Lorna is absent for the first time. Keep well sister girl, we love you. Greetings from Namibia 😜
She is home enjoying being a new mum! We are thinking of you Lornzie!
@@melissaines3712 awesomeness!
Isn’t it just so beautiful to see someone talk about something they are passionate about😍😍 The eyes glow up, the enthusiasm kicks in. This is how I feel when Ivy speaks about money and finance and basic life advice. Like you can tell she invested time and it’s working for her.
Unlearning that not everyone is a good person.. Not everyone is as caring as I am..
Unlearnt this last year and damn 😩 the streets are cruel outchea
I wanted to comment this
Me too, people be wicked 😮
Learning to unlearn not letting myself carry the burden of others. Especially close and loved ones. I've learnt that I can't always save everyone, and to not feel guilty about it. I've began unlearning attaching myself to people and learning the art of letting go. This conversation speaks volumes, and just like the Alchemist, I'll keep coming back to it over...and over...and over again.
🧡
Great conversations. Jules the way you are self-aware, I’m positive you will unlearn whatever you set your mind too. Ivy, embrace your title maama Money Monday because you are doing so great babe! As for Shikie, I have enjoyed your hosting these past few episodes. You are such a gentle soul. Thank you ladies!
I'm unlearning *actually been annoyed by how long its taking* wresting with the little me from my childhood who didn't have certain things and I know why, understand why but they won't let it go in a peaceful way. I'm sometimes usually shoving sunny thoughts into the memories I repressed doing the sad/depressive period. But ugh, I get you then had to learn how to protect yourself emotionally, gauge people, be strong and forged the weapons, build the walls and how high, from ground up and its not easy to let go, but wueh, sasa It's a whole wrestling match no matter how mature you approach it.
Second one is the overtalking. Funny enough I'm an introvert but around others like me, now I overtalk and realise it and get annoyed while also panicking that I'm talking for so long they probably want me to stop. And I want to just be quiet and listen. Although my problem with listening so well, people pour. I get alot of 'I don't know why I'm telling you this, you're a stranger' and I always feel honoured to be that good, but listening so well, I carry people's wounds and pain with me forever. I think about ti often, and wonder. And Although I'm on the 'people don't like being pitied', but I be wondering what really happened in their life after, even if we never cross paths again.
I am unlearning being strong. I allow myself to feel emotions and be "weak" and human . That makes me feel like I am kinder to myself
Guys jules is such a sweet soul look at how concerned she was when ivy was having doubts about money Monday and assuring her 🥺 that was Soo heart warming ❤️❤️
Congratulations Lorna. Baby Yahya is soo soo beautiful!!
I've really been struggling with asking for help. It takes so much energy for me to ask anyone at all to help me with something. I always feel like I'll have to owe them something to payback for their kindness to me. It feels so good to know that y'all are going through the same. I'm learning to unlearn ☺️
Julia’s points at the end were SO relatable. You can clearly tell she is doing a good job at being self-aware and introspective. You know when you are at that level when you present SPECIFIC points but a lot f people relate. Loved the episode.
Lornzie we are thinking of you and we love you!! Enjoy motherhood!
Ivy what you are talking about is related to agreeableness personality trait. Women generally tend to score higher on the agreeableness trait than men ( This can be reflected in our communication style, for instance). Some academics argue that this is one of the main reasons women don't negotiate higher salaries as their male counterparts.
I am unlearning my negative overthinking.
I am unlearning being OK with family member's disrespect and being expected to forgive or forget their character just because blood is thicker than water 🤣 🤣 🤣 wuueeeeh blood thinners exist fr a reason
Snaps on the family part, been having it raw too😩
Wenye hatuko SM platforms r glad to hear we have an under 25...congrats to the Gatabaki!
Shikie you look extra beautiful today .
Over 25 are like my girls, whenever I need a chat, y'all are the best. Huuuuugs🥺❤️
Eii,,mmetuweka girlies.. siku haikua inaeda kwa office bana. Glad to see guys
I am a police communicator. I visited South Korea where culture is rather soft and blah blah. I suffered.! Then, hear me out guys! Then i moved to the Netherlands mmmmmh mmh! Let me tell you about the Dutch being rudely straight forward. Gosh i felt like i had arrived, I had found my people 😅. Rude and easy to know where you stand. So y'all my police toned pips, lets move to the House of Orange, the Dutchies wont judge us. 😆
Unlearning that life doesn't revolve me and be more accommodating. All my life I have been the opposite of a people pleaser and I am realising it can be toxic as well
Damn, I'll have to think about this actually, it's profound, thank you ❤️
We like before we watch!
Period!!
Yesss
Julia ,Shikie ,Lorna and Ivy you are True Women of Power and True Warrior Sisters. I have been watching you my Warrior Sisters for a long time! And learnt alot on the way too!! Keep doing what you are doing, I'm a testimony that your work is shining. Congratulations for your Powerful Journey.
Much support to you from your Warrior sister, Radio.TheArenaFM24K💕🇰🇪
Julia, were you looking for the word 'Garana' to mean namesake?
kindly consider doing audio-only options for the videos i.e. podcast🙏🏾. I would love to passively listen to your videos. Love your channel 🫶🏾
One way to stop over complaining start with your mind, because if you complain in your mind the chances of letting it out are high. But if you don't let it occupy your mind (let it go in your mind quickly, look at it as it is and don't over think it but take it as it is) then you won't over complain 🥰
I am Jules! laaaaawd😂 the similarities..
that point on trying to "fill gaps" I'm always trying to do that.. like I want anyone talking to me to feel COMFORTABLE, I GET YOU,I GOT YOU etc.I will share stories about myself so that the other person doesn't have to so that they can't cringe later even when they clearly want to share. I "sense" needs before people mention anything "sense" is in quotes coz I could be wrong.. I'll carry your burdens, finish your sentences etc lool.. Susan! just chill.. these are grown ups who can finish stories/sentences, carry a conversation 😭😭
Manuela mulondo from bump love said she over came depression by journaling anything that crossed her mind
I Feel triggered when you talked about feeling like I you need to pay back all who have been good to you 🥺🥺🥺 because that's me and I have just realized I do it and it's not good
I am also unlearning the need to equate productivity to quantity of work done only. We always feel the need to always do something 24/7. Imagine just take one step at a time and focus. Instead of biting 20 apples yo can just eat one apple and achieve nearly the same thing.
You spoke my mind there 💯
Jules your emotional intelligence is very high and rare,
You're a giver and gifting ...but try to limit.
You like to share nuggets wisdom.
Reading is your passion it nourish your brains.
Whaaat..Mimi hiyo ya filling in gaps... being a better listener...Is my take home...I thought I was the only one..Thanks guys...You are really in touch with the reality.
Jules whoever did your make up!!!!! you look freaking amazing!!!!
what i am unlearning is that i dont always have to learn through pain
So much education here. I love it. " Strong woman" I've also realized is used a lot when people around you want you to be there for them...but never have to ask you how you are or what you need. Shedding this one for good. I Love it. 💕💕💕
Congratulations Lonzie. I was right about her having a baby boy... yee we have a new member. Girl congregations to motherhood and I hope you rest alot.
Jules your make-up...I love love. Ivy and Shkie serving looks. To add to the topic, I'm unlearning perfection. Doing everything until it's prefect at my own expense. As long as I'm healthy and happy I'm great I'll achieve my goals
Such a deep conversation 👌... Always in love with Ivy's mindset ❤️.
So are we
Big big brain yani
Wow. Just wow.
Last week my Mama said exactly what Mama Jules said. She said if she had the chance to carry my siblings and I again, she'd do it differently considering what she knows now.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wow, amazing
Yes!! Our cat also drinks cooking oil. We have to hide it in the oven & when we are using the oven, we hide it in the cabinets. We are being ruled over here😂
Talking about the alchemist....
My mind;....wait a min ,where is my book
Me; rush to my bookshelf
My mind; OMG I lost my hard copy 🤦🏽♀️
I love love the channel,thank you ladies.much love
Mimi on the ghosting. If it's affecting my mental health I simply ask the ghosted why especially if I had a romantic thing going on with them, and I'm likely to see the around often. I don't want to be thinking what I did wrong etc. I must confront and get answers. I recently did it and how I feel so free. Yeah tell me you don't think it's going to work. I'll get hurt but I will respect it. But just withdrawing and expecting me to read in between the lines? Not me😂
Gosh this episode is soo timely! I am enjoying every bit of it. I'm currently in my season of learning and unlearning a lot of things. My life is sort of on a pause mode and I've been reflecting a lot and thinking a lot about stuff and I appreciate listening to this and to you guys talking about this topic💯💯
I related to Jules a lot. How she explained herself about the habits she's unlearning...I just felt like, 'Same....same Sis!'
It's a beautiful thing when your mindset changes and your habits and attitudes towards a lot of things change as you grow.
The energy today❤️❤️❤️ We appreciate you ladies💎💎💎 May you keep soaring to new heights & concurring all your limitations 💫
Thank you for being so vulnerable on here!
This episode just speaks to my soul....Exactly what I needed. Thanks Ladies!
I really enjoy listening to Jules😂 so glad you have other channels
Right there with you Julez on becoming a better listener 🤭
Am currently reading The Alchemist and oooh my I love that I can relate
Thanks for discussing this topic ladies. I'm at a time in my life where I really needed this convo. ❤️❤️
My Monday.. Panadol.... I love you ladies
Been looking for updates all day long then I saw a notification had to stop everything else
I have missed over 25, decide to watch this again.
Awesome conversation ladies. Congratulations 🎈🎈🎈🎈👏🎈👏 Lonzie good health to you and the baby.
The Alchemist is one of my best reads in life.
I am Jules, Jules is me! The unlearning The growing up and whatever I'm transitioning to currently in my life!
Always lovely listening to you ladies.......🔥🔥🔥
I love today’s episode. One of my mentors @funkefelixadejumo says the illiterate of the 21 century are not those that can't read and write but those that cannot unlearn and re-learn.
Congratulations to Lorna welcome to the best hood that is motherhood #boymoms😁
This is worth a screenshot ❤thanks for sharing
OMG Jules that filling up silence in conversations I can totally relate. A friend of mine pointed it out and I explored it with my therapist weeh! Kumbe its related to my inner child but yeah its definitely something. Thanks you guys for having these conversations🤎
Thatb ok be I've done a lot and I'm just tired of small talks. I will never bother myself breaking the silence again in conversations
Absolutely loved this episode😍🥰.Thank foe being real, raw and authentic, i learned alot
Congratulations Ivy I watched you on spice tv. Girl you are a 💎
How pretty is Shikie tho🥺, I'm literally drooling 🤤
Perfect,been checking the whole day for a vlog
John maxwells book sometime you win sometimes you learn is great when you are afraid to fail
I am unlearning negative thoughts which leads to negative self talk which leads to bad habits and then there goes everything🥺
I'm learning to be that independent babe👌.. Creating my own happiness at my own space🤌.
I am unlearning how I stress myself over things I I can't control. I'm like 'let's flow gal's this too will pass as soon as it's meant to. 😴😴😴😴
Been loving your content ladies. I’m really inspired by your work. Love from a South African Over25 babe❤
My God! i relate so much with Jules it's mind-blowing🙆♀
I'm learning that my mum did the best with what she had,that I don't need to think of solutions to problems that don't exist and I need to overcome my fear of looking or feeling stupid
Y'all make being 30 interesting. Looking gorgeous as always.
One of the things that make My Mondays interesting.♥️♥️ thank you for saying such relatable things.
Why does it feel like Jules talked through the whole episode alone . Lol 😆 🤣 😂 😅
Congratulations Lornzie!
This was a great episode 🙂
Congratulations Lornzie😘
53:09 that poor braid 🤭🤭🤭
😂😂😂 went flying, pretty sure it had fun
I am unlearning apologizing or making myself small to make people comfortable.
Learning to feel deserving of any opportunity that comes my way/ of any table I get to sit on.
Wow loved this conversation... So relatable
this is on replay today, seeing bits of myself n the conversation. unlearning !
Wueh! Early gang. Glad to be here😍😄💃🏿. I really struggle with Journaling, thanks Just Ivy for the tips😉😊. Lornzie❤️.
I love you guys🤗❤
🌹I'm in love with your ideas
Congratulations to Lonzie and her family. 🧡🎉🎉
Unlearning i don't have to shout or even talk to command attention. I'm learning not everything deserve a reaction. Give peace even when offended wait till your anger is gone to explain your hurt because talking without processing will only add salt to injury. Be calm ukiwa makasiriko ni wewe tu unaumia.
Brain dump is amaizing. I started it in primary school out of nowhere. I didn't know it hard a name coz as for me a journal was my best friend since when i told someone something, they would tell other people.
And honestly if i go back to read what i had written, i don't remember that day and what exactly happened. To me it works in an amaizing way.
Learning to put intentions on my journal and telling myself how it will happen it's not my business ,
I relate more with Jules😍good job ladies
I can relate 💯
You guyz have grown.... I enjoy watching