Oscar you need to heal from that heartbreak. Your decision is from a point of fear. You have built a wall and armour around you because the thought of one domino falling scares you. Just heal. You are an amazing guy.
You and I both, the amount of self I do needs Eli's and Georgie's voice and articulation, it would increase the rate of agreement when I leave meetings with myself
I am Oscar and Oscar is me. Hahaaa. But I'm on the extreme because I don't want the benefits of relationships/sex. Being single has made me aware that I don't want to put any/ALL my energy into anyone but myself..I want selective experience, which then would make me a lousy lover... my journey might change because to be human is to change and I think deep connection is a vital human experience but so far, this is my truth.
I had thought that Ivy was all about creating wealth and making money but when she said that our worth is not material stuff that really touched my heart❤ Loved the conversation especially hearing the totally different perception from us that guys have.
Loving the new intro, it’s a mark of growth and we’re here for the journey ❤️ I have some constructive feedback to share, would Over25 be willing to adjust the sitting layouts for large panel discussions? Something like a round table discussion with different camera angles would do wonders for the chemistry by helping the whole cast maintain eye contact with each other without the constant straining of look back
I have listened to this episode twice already and I have to say this was awesome I really appreciate the deep conversation.Over 25 i love you show and may you girls keep shining bright as the diamonds you are.
Interesting Episode ! Personally I avoid men like Oscar because I find them confused. Sometimes being too woke and self aware doesn’t reflect on the reality of life. Emotions and vulnerability are necessary in normal relationships.
@@awam951 Yeaaah,so technical...I wouldn't be at ease in a relationship with him.It like you are always being watched and there is a test to be passed.Too much.
Oscar made some valid points tho he made me feel on edge and under so much pressure to prove my worth as a woman like a relationship with him feels like a test.i think one major thing us women want to feel with a guy is ease,we want to be able to let go while still being self conscious.i still respect the fact that,that is what works for him.
me too, but then again a woman his 'type' would be at ease, cause that's just her and she is not putting any effort to prove anything, you get my point? i hope you do lol
It’s not a woman’s responsibility, obligation to earn a man respect, ranking, or a place in society. We aren’t accessories. That’s an individual’s responsibility and pursuit.
Oscar is literally telling it as per the men on the ground, Lorna was right Eli and George don't represent the sample we have in the streets, most men we have been involved in have said what Oscar was saying but we forced our narrative. I enjoyed his perspective because it was a more realistic to my situations, i am yet to meet an Eli so i can't speak on unicorn situation I personally resonate more with Oscar's logic and thought process. Good collaboration.
Protecting also is not always physical. When a man can protect you against words from friends and family in private and in public, it is the most valuable aspect. This is especially when he might not necessarily be a physically big person to fight for you.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I want to really bash the point Oscar was making about respect in your peer group. While it may be true that men do accord each other “respect” based on the value they bring to the table , I think it’s very necessary to have friends in your life with whom there’s no need to view each other through those lens. This is especially relevant within your inner, close circle (you know those two , three people who are really your people). Because the moment all your relationships,including your inner most circle , are based on hierarchy and respect , you start to lose the very essence of what true friendship is!
Very important!!! This is for both Men and Women. Friendship where you need to prove your worth are not true friendships. These are more of acquaintances or business partners.
I 💯 agree. In every group of friends there’s always some hierarchy in one way or another. By mutually understanding that concept and still not allowing it to take centre stage is what maintains the relationship because everyone knows and respects what they bring to the table. I believe that’s why male relationships last a lifetime.
Oscar is proof that the most guarded people are the most loving and they have the most to offer. He is just fearful because of his history....I hope he heals because the womans he will wife will be lucky
This has been the best Collabo yet. I really enjoyed the conversation and I agree with Oscar aswell. When you work on yourself you attract better relationships and people on the same wavelength as you. That’s a very Mature perspective. Also I dont disagree with growing together only one has to be wise not to be entangled in a "project Situation" whereby you are using so much strength helping your Partner grow and you end up giving too much of yourself. It's exhausting. Id rather we meet both whole and complement and Support each other and expand our empire. After all you attract who you are not what you want!!
Oscar mentioned kobe & Vanessa Bryant & I’ve noticed that many urban middle class Kenyans seem to have this obsession with US celebrities & their lifestyles. However, for those that live or have lived in the US, we know that 99.9% of Americans don’t live like them. And Kenyans living in Kenya need to stop comparing themselves to these US celebrities. Is this what’s causing their depression? You think your life should be like Kim kardashian or Kanye or Beyoncé? In Kenya? It’s nice to admire these people. I get that but don’t compare yourselves or expect your lives in Kenya to be like theirs - even for Americans Living IN America, it’s not their reality.
Great episode! Love the new intro. I really resonated with Oscar, I think he needed to dive deep into what 'the journey' means to him. I like the way he explains things with so much depth, beautiful mind. I hope he continues healing and finds what he is looking for but also he should let go of the idealism, he is bound to be disappointed because no one is perfect and humans are unpredictable, the journey never stops, so you won't find someone who is completely done working on themselves and found some sort of enlightenment. Georgie and Eli were a joy to listen to. I don't know if men in Nairobi are actually this well-adjusted and self-aware, I feel like they represent a very very small sample. Please have more of these conversations with men, as women, we are often in an echo chamber and we don't realise we are wrong sometimes.
Wow! Brilliant conversation. Oscar is a softie at heart and he's guarding it, that's what I see. You guys make me want to come to Nairobi so badddd. Love from Nigeria!
@JOYCE NYINGI Girl you got yourself played i am well vast in the psychometric scales and GEORGE is on the Red Zone any time his analogy is poked he stealthily shifts it in a different form like water sipping through a crack case in point when he heard that the analogy of asking a lady to dress dandy so as to impress the boys of his circle and JULES came out and said she was hurt by a dude in a similar fashion he changed the tone to a more action rather than verbal approach George is the best definition of a PSYCHOPATH you never see it coming.
Jules has made a great point about wanting men to communicate where they are and what they want. That's where people lose the signal. However, I found that in life, don't wait for anyone to tell you anything. They don't know what you need to know, and people make a lot of wrong assumptions about each other. I think the safest and most sure way to know something is to ask the right questions. So learning what information you want to garner is important. I also add that do not rely100% on answers being valid, have many ways of validating someone's answers. If you don't ask and you don't tell you end up making silent agreements. No Bueno. Great episode girls. As for Oscar and Eli I think they suffer from analysis paralysis. I work in risk management and I can tell you, you can't anticipate all the risks 100% of the time. It's enough to know how to mitigate so better to build the skills to mitigate, and the rest is actually living. A lot of life is learned by looking backwards, and then you use it as input for better decisions. You also can't base your entire life on other people's experiences (mentors, young fathers etc.) For maybe slightly older people, it's great that there wasn't an influx of self-development movements when they were growing up and you learned by doing. It has its advantages such as living life on your own terms and not what is considered a ready-made template by society. I think one of the best skills one can have today is learning how to be adaptive, and embrace change at whatever point. It's like great design, take Apple, their products evolved over time but they had the courage to launch the first time. So don't be a non-starter because you want to get it right/perfect the first time. It's an illusion and just repackaged anxiety.
Oscar is so contradictory. Ultimately, he wants to get so high that when he dates low it’s not that low. Where he is currently, in his mind and perspective, dating low would be too low. He is chasing a high that if not well directed, will lead into a terribly chaotic path.
Oscar is in that state of mind where one has a calm and peaceful mind. Very few get there , I am there and I know the feeling, you don't want people to come in and disrupt the reality you've built. So you vet people (also women) thoroughly before including them in your life. Also the other thing that happens is you start attracting people like fluorescent bulb to moths, when you aren't even trying.
I wonder though, if you're in a truly peaceful place how is it so fragile that someone coming into your space can take it away? Is that true peace? I don't know 🤷
No, it is fear. Fear makes you soooo guarded because you think people coming close to you come to take without giving. That is a wrong mentality. If you have built a stable situation, it can never be taken down no matter who comes to your life. More so, when you have these vibrations, you always attract that kind of a person you totally do not want. Observe and see. The solution is to be easy about dating. Let the fear go, explore, meet people, be genuine and things will align
Jules asked if the guys that are "On a journey" like Oscar, still want the benefits of a relationship. The way Oscar flee from that question using flattery was just impressive.
I bumped on this episode on twitter, great show, amazing editing, nice insights. As a guy I have a two part comment after watching it: Part One - Oscar is looking for a woman that doesn't exist. I like that he's self aware and all, but he's also too materialistic and has Destination Addiction (the belief that you'll be fulfilled when all stars align, and they never allign) - Georgie is the realest. It also explain why he's made it that far in life. While he has his standards he seems malleable, which helps a lot in long term relationships. Rigidity never works long term. - Eli is a perfectionist. He's waiting for the right time which never comes. He's also very smart, and smart people overthink everything sometimes to a point of paralysis. You need a lot of blinders to make the bold moves in relationships. Part Two This is a great channel. But what you people didn't stress enough in this episode is the role of desire, which can't be negotiated. Everybody knows men will move mountains for the woman they see a future with. Like the example from the lady in orange, once desire fades that's when men start playing games; ghosting, telling lies, cheating or taking you in endless circles. Finally, this is the first generation where some men have prolonged adolscence INDEFINITELY. So he may be 30, 35 or 40 and have his reasons for not settling down, but the truth is he's a self-centered man child in perpetual dating mode. It's just unfortunate that women realize this when it's too late.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 my goodness you should have been on the panel. Your last point on prolonged adolescence is sooooo true. I see it even in American dating shows like Ready To Love, Love is Blind and the likes. It seems it is a global problem
The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love without the intention of loving her-Bob Marley.. Journey people..and people who are finding themselves...avoid those people. And people who don't return hoodies...avoid those people
Hahahaha I love this comment. The way you're calling us out though 💀 We love your hoodies ya'll, just accept it😂😂😂 1. The hoodie reminds you of your man 2. It smells like your man (atleast before it gets a wash) 3. The oversize fit♥
I liked today's topic but I feel like we didn't get so many points as clearly. Oscar Kept drifting away then Georgie would try get back to the 'signs' bit of the topic. Oscar sounds so technical (like too hard on himself and others) in this journey. I resonated with Georgie's perception, sounds realistic and easy. Everyone made a valid argument all in all.
Oscar was speaking from a man perspective. Men we understand respect, while ladies understand love. Rewatch using that narrative, you will be surprised how “men” we operate with a code of conduct. In the streets, as well in relationships.
@@shirleenmueni5041 If you picked some great facts from Oscar good for you 😉. As per the truth I needed to hear mmmmh let's just say we listen and understand differently.
"decisions that compound well." 😭 the call out‼️I was about to get a slice of bread to keep me company and I had to sit down and think about it first😂😂 those on their healthy living/weight-loss journey grind understand!
Great conversation but damn... dating someone like Oscar sounds like it can be soooo exhausting- no offense. You must be bringing something to the table or at your A game always- Standards- I am glad though that these men are very clear about what they want at this age and are developing themselves to be the kind of people they want to attract. However, it sometimes feels like getting into a relationship with 'the one' is less organic and more technical it sounds so hard... What happened to just falling in love with someone you met who does not check all the boxes? I am with Eli with growing with someone, professing when ready and I agree with George about professing with actions being the most valuable . Btw Jules Oscar shot his shot- your move please :D :D :D
I agree with Georgie - professing without actions is 👌🏾. I disagree with Eli. Even if you say certain things but your actions don't match your words then it's misleading. So yes, Koome I think men are to blame for a girl building a certain narrative. You can't say "I don't want a relationship" but you're taking a girl out on dates, friend hangouts, romance her... Your actions are the total opposite. Over 25, I loved this episode. 😍 Also like your new intro. 😌
Bytheway this is so true... It beats sense to always go for dates or staying in a union while still professing that you are not interested in a relationship. That is confusion 😅
Man talk...everywhere you go you leave such value!!! We women really need to hear healthy empowered talks. We hear so much other bs that this is sooo refreshing. This episode and the ones you did with TMI are on REPEAT!!! We love to have you everywhere!! Thanks over25 for this collaboration as well!! ❤🔥
I get Oscar. There are people I don't respect because of the relationship they are in and their partner does not respect them at all so even when they speak you are like, but you don't even respect yourself otherwise you wouldn't be in that situation. Then it just looks like this person doesn't have a leg to stand on.
@@mercyme4262 it is. The sad truth is that what we accept in life is based highly on how we view oursleves and how far in the healing we are and people know this and see through it.
lol that guy in a jacket is what happens when you're young and too eager to talk. Kind of unsettled the rhythm and turned a bit cringe but not bad at all altogether
Such a good episode! The discussions were great but I really wish it was a bit more exhaustive on points. But the one sign by men that is most ignored by women is when he says he's not looking to settle down. Women usually ignore this. However, men go wrong when after saying "I am figuring it out", they still go ahead and treat you in a certain way (Like a girlfriend). Almost like this is meant to keep you close enough to keep their options open but far enough that should they change their mind about you then his "hands are clean". So women, listen when he says he's not ready to settle down and men act accordingly. Keep off her or atleast don't treat her in Any special manner.
In uni guys used to call it "kuweka kwa mfuko" azin she is the back up. Also majority of men say that they aren't looking for a serious thing but ladies hang around. What needs to happen is ladies to stop being foolish.
Great episode,amazing conversation.Oscar is giving chaotic emotional energy, i hope he truly heals and is not so hard on himself and his image before taking babes on "journey's " because hurt people hurt people.
I was cringing alot when he was talking ... Hurt people hurt others indeed ... He's so protective of his image ... Vulnerability is also key in any organic relationship ...
Good work guys but I think the journey is continuous we have value Even in our struggles Oscar seems to be looking for a perfectionst lakini I like the way IVy advised him.
This was really fresh, authentic and eye opening. It is interesting and somewhat validating to hear Oscar's contribution about his journey. Something not many may grasp unless they are on a similar treacherous journey to becoming their best self. Oscar, please keep on doing the self work & development - keep on putting in the work. People may not necessarily value or see the hidden work - they just see the package - but only you know the cost. You keep leveling up to your higher spec version, you'll find your tribe.
24:25 George did it for me.Words of wisdom and clarity.It just shows how men are different in thinking because every one has their own journey and liking.For Oscar,he is building himself first,that is his major.For George,He is open to finding a capable woman even when he is on the journey of building himself.It's a matter of where someone is in their life.I appreciate that
Just Ivy today was quite low and she shown and gave that energy to the audience. She was so disoriented and kept checking her phone and even texting. I hope she will come out of it better.😍
I feel like Ivy was trying to wrap her head in the whole conversation because so much was said. She was trying to get a better understanding so that she can give a good response.
I don't think that was the real issue. She is just someone who wont pretend to agree with something to make one happy. If you notice, was most silent when Oscar was talking and his points were all over so rather than argue, she didn't say much
I think it’s because Ivy just recently ended her relationship? So maybe she’s just thinking and considering how the points made in this video relate to her personal experiences.
When Ndirangu said As you move up in society your preference on person changes as well.so that means you will never be fully content in self if you are dependent on where you are to get a partner.I felt that In a lighter note I really laughed through out the video the banter is amusing
OMG I can no longer multi task when watching Over25!! I need a notebook and a pen. The GEMS!!! Also please please my sistas, can we have a video about TwinderSwindler since its the month of 'love'
I have a lot to say about Oscar's point of view: sounds like he's operating from a place of guardedness and probably a little self-sabotage?....... But yes, to each his own. Great episode and good job on the new intro: it's refreshing
Watching with a pen and paper. The words! I like how these guys are defending their points with so much clarity that actually makes sense. Control of words 💯
I understand What Oscar .(without knowing any details) when the man left the couple, society petty the girl . When girl left the guy, the guy is look down. Like he's weak. It's double standard. In my home country Gabon ,Years ago , in public administration it Was not possible to have a powerful position if à Man was not married or if his wife left. They said how could we trust you with public affair if the your are not able to manage your own family. I am so happy this type of 'thinking' is more and reject by my generation.
With regard to the topic today, the man should also protect you from yourself. If you have an self-destructive habit eg poor financial discipline, if a man helps you grow yourself it shows willingness to have you in the long run. Mtu wa hit and run they don't give a shit about your weaknesses and sometimes they'll make you feel bad about yourself instead of grow you.
Oscar might be the chaos, he might be the drama 😂😂 his views were all over the place but this was an amazing conversation .. i also love the new intro .. good job 👏
I love this conversation aki aloooot .... Please..a video on codependent and interdependent relationship with these guys 🥺...i need to understand the pros and cons of each and which is better
Hi my name is Dara. I just wanted to say that really appreciate each and everyone of your perceptions. Each of you individually as women first and foremost especially Black African women are inciting dialogue and are courageously diving into topics that need deeper translation. I mean this with the utmost respect please keep doing what your doing for we need more conversations like this. If I may please contact you in some way and I know it's strange because we are not familiar with each other at all but please I would love to just have a conversation with you please and thank you. God bless and keep inspiring us.
I totally get Oscar. I completely understand where he's coming from . I'm in that exact place. And as a person that gives 100% to a relationship, I can't afford not to be careful. It can be very damaging if it starts only to end.
Hugs to Jules, seems so much has happened to you, love you ladies and the men were on point hope to have them around more often. Ladies, you look amazing always and thank you for the episode💌
Oscar what's in your heart is valid. But there is no perfect scenerio. Even you are not perfect. There are things you will learn. I'm sorry but you are being very theoretical. Life is about growth, through the rain and sunshine. Through the ups and downs. That's how friendships are cemented. That's how a woman ends up protecting her man's empire not because they were two perfect people who met and created magic. Just relax. You are amazing. Life is a journey. There is no perfect goal. We keep learning and living. You are an amazing guy. Just relax. ❤️ All love.
I don't know about you💁🏾♀️ but I 🙋🏾♀️ thoroughly enjoyed the whole conversation. I have heard of the points from books, podcasts and other avenues. However, this hit different. It felt more humanized, balanced with experience, knowledge and intentional self awareness. Some points could have put me off before but I found myself internalizing and willing to hear out the why do they think like that. My cup is full. Thank you. Great job ladies and gentlemen and to more growth. 🍾
I feel like Ivy still has so much to say, esp at 48:43 and I'm literally dying to hear it 🙊 I hope there's a part 2. Or an "Ivy reacts to her reactions" 😇
Loved LOVED this episode to the point where I almost grabbed a pen and notebook to take notes! However, I couldn’t help but notice that some points from the gents got lost along the way, so this is my official petition for a part 2, please and thank you! Great job guys 😊
Great episode guys!😍 but I’m seriously questioning why there’s no signs she’s not ready to settle down or signs she’s no longer interested 💀it’s always the niggas being given space to be like that
That's because men control access to marriage. He is the one to ask for your hand and pay dowry. No matter how much a woman wants to be married she cannot make a man give dowry or pay for a wedding or even show up for it.
I can listen to Georgie the whole day....he is articulate and calm
he looks real and loving
Yes!
Nobody:
Ivy 99% of the video: 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
😂😂😂😂
😂😂
She has a "make it make sense" look on her face.
@@racheln7239 the whole time😂
Oscar you need to heal from that heartbreak. Your decision is from a point of fear. You have built a wall and armour around you because the thought of one domino falling scares you. Just heal. You are an amazing guy.
😄 it comes a time you have to be choosy with whom your associate with.
Can I please just hire Eli to be the voice in my head? I talk to myself alot!!! Would be a really nice feature that one!
You and I both, the amount of self I do needs Eli's and Georgie's voice and articulation, it would increase the rate of agreement when I leave meetings with myself
When George says “there is a box”….Then he continues the lost and found. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Thank you Ivy for saying that we can have happy marriages without wanting children.
Guys why not make it a round table talk.
It’s be great to look at each other’s expressions while you converse
I am Oscar and Oscar is me. Hahaaa. But I'm on the extreme because I don't want the benefits of relationships/sex. Being single has made me aware that I don't want to put any/ALL my energy into anyone but myself..I want selective experience, which then would make me a lousy lover... my journey might change because to be human is to change and I think deep connection is a vital human experience but so far, this is my truth.
Lornzie's hair is on point 💕
Right?! I kept rewinding when she was speaking & the camera zoomed in on her. Love it 💛
My hair goals. Make me change my mind about shaving my locks
I had thought that Ivy was all about creating wealth and making money but when she said that our worth is not material stuff that really touched my heart❤ Loved the conversation especially hearing the totally different perception from us that guys have.
yoooo, same here. I was considering cancelling her. Fresh new ounces of respect.
That was beautifully said by Ivy
@@njogud considering cancelling her??? because ofher life decisions about creating wealth and making money... i think the problem is you
ua-cam.com/video/bHzQrp0j2tw/v-deo.html
@@DocterKinus Yeah, it is
Loving the new intro, it’s a mark of growth and we’re here for the journey ❤️ I have some constructive feedback to share, would Over25 be willing to adjust the sitting layouts for large panel discussions? Something like a round table discussion with different camera angles would do wonders for the chemistry by helping the whole cast maintain eye contact with each other without the constant straining of look back
Very good point
Totally agree with you. Also they could invest in microphones like TMI so that everyone is audible when speaking.
Brilliant idea💡, I hope they take it up.
I have listened to this episode twice already and I have to say this was awesome I really appreciate the deep conversation.Over 25 i love you show and may you girls keep shining bright as the diamonds you are.
Very true. Great episode. Have eye contact rather than to have to keep on turning heads
I really Love the New Over 25 Channel Intro. Jules, Lornzie, Ivy and Shikkie keep doing the good work. Am your Biggest Fan💌💌💃💃💃
George should lead this conversation. He is very articulate .
I agree
You guys wanna faults men too
Much. Even women make mistakes
Interesting Episode ! Personally I avoid men like Oscar because I find them confused. Sometimes being too woke and self aware doesn’t reflect on the reality of life. Emotions and vulnerability are necessary in normal relationships.
he makes relationships sound so technical
@@awam951 true
Even from his explanation he takes too long to get to the point. I get lost trying to understand what he’s saying
@@awam951 Yeaaah,so technical...I wouldn't be at ease in a relationship with him.It like you are always being watched and there is a test to be passed.Too much.
I agree.
Oscar made some valid points tho he made me feel on edge and under so much pressure to prove my worth as a woman like a relationship with him feels like a test.i think one major thing us women want to feel with a guy is ease,we want to be able to let go while still being self conscious.i still respect the fact that,that is what works for him.
me too, but then again a woman his 'type' would be at ease, cause that's just her and she is not putting any effort to prove anything, you get my point? i hope you do lol
@@nessanorah5967 I get your point
Good.point. But Always Remember it's takes 2 people to Build a relationship
@@nessanorah5967 i do that's why i said i respect that,that works for him.
@@FunnyBabies244 that's true,but it should feel natural from both sides and not inclined to.
Glad that Oscar said he might do therapy at the end of the talk... He is hurt! Sending hugs y'all 🤗🤗
Right from the beginning I felt he has some things he hasn't gotten past and it's making him very biased against women.
Same here ...Oscar mentioned therapy and my heart warmed. I wish healing and bliss Oscar.
It’s not a woman’s responsibility, obligation to earn a man respect, ranking, or a place in society. We aren’t accessories. That’s an individual’s responsibility and pursuit.
Well said
ua-cam.com/video/bHzQrp0j2tw/v-deo.html
Well said. It was giving diseased thinking in my opinion
Oscar is literally telling it as per the men on the ground, Lorna was right Eli and George don't represent the sample we have in the streets, most men we have been involved in have said what Oscar was saying but we forced our narrative. I enjoyed his perspective because it was a more realistic to my situations, i am yet to meet an Eli so i can't speak on unicorn situation
I personally resonate more with Oscar's logic and thought process.
Good collaboration.
Protecting also is not always physical. When a man can protect you against words from friends and family in private and in public, it is the most valuable aspect. This is especially when he might not necessarily be a physically big person to fight for you.
OHHHHHHHHHH! THIS IS IT.
This is it. Emotional protection is powerful
ua-cam.com/video/bHzQrp0j2tw/v-deo.html
I totally agree 💯💪🏾
Jules is the representative of character development on women
Enjoyed the episode
We should be having more male guests
We learn so much
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I want to really bash the point Oscar was making about respect in your peer group. While it may be true that men do accord each other “respect” based on the value they bring to the table , I think it’s very necessary to have friends in your life with whom there’s no need to view each other through those lens. This is especially relevant within your inner, close circle (you know those two , three people who are really your people). Because the moment all your relationships,including your inner most circle , are based on hierarchy and respect , you start to lose the very essence of what true friendship is!
Very important!!! This is for both Men and Women. Friendship where you need to prove your worth are not true friendships. These are more of acquaintances or business partners.
I agreee!
I agree... You loose yourself in the midst of earning "that kind of respect"
I agree
I 💯 agree. In every group of friends there’s always some hierarchy in one way or another. By mutually understanding that concept and still not allowing it to take centre stage is what maintains the relationship because everyone knows and respects what they bring to the table. I believe that’s why male relationships last a lifetime.
Oscar is proof that the most guarded people are the most loving and they have the most to offer. He is just fearful because of his history....I hope he heals because the womans he will wife will be lucky
This has been the best Collabo yet. I really enjoyed the conversation and I agree with Oscar aswell. When you work on yourself you attract better relationships and people on the same wavelength as you. That’s a very Mature perspective.
Also I dont disagree with growing together only one has to be wise not to be entangled in a "project Situation" whereby you are using so much strength helping your Partner grow and you end up giving too much of yourself. It's exhausting.
Id rather we meet both whole and complement and Support each other and expand our empire. After all you attract who you are not what you want!!
Oscar mentioned kobe & Vanessa Bryant & I’ve noticed that many urban middle class Kenyans seem to have this obsession with US celebrities & their lifestyles. However, for those that live or have lived in the US, we know that 99.9% of Americans don’t live like them.
And Kenyans living in Kenya need to stop comparing themselves to these US celebrities. Is this what’s causing their depression? You think your life should be like Kim kardashian or Kanye or Beyoncé? In Kenya?
It’s nice to admire these people. I get that but don’t compare yourselves or expect your lives in Kenya to be like theirs - even for Americans Living IN America, it’s not their reality.
Great episode! Love the new intro. I really resonated with Oscar, I think he needed to dive deep into what 'the journey' means to him. I like the way he explains things with so much depth, beautiful mind. I hope he continues healing and finds what he is looking for but also he should let go of the idealism, he is bound to be disappointed because no one is perfect and humans are unpredictable, the journey never stops, so you won't find someone who is completely done working on themselves and found some sort of enlightenment. Georgie and Eli were a joy to listen to. I don't know if men in Nairobi are actually this well-adjusted and self-aware, I feel like they represent a very very small sample. Please have more of these conversations with men, as women, we are often in an echo chamber and we don't realise we are wrong sometimes.
Yes you get to choose if you'll accommodate certain things if not let it go.
Wow! Brilliant conversation. Oscar is a softie at heart and he's guarding it, that's what I see. You guys make me want to come to Nairobi so badddd. Love from Nigeria!
This Georgie guy is quite the catch. Articulate, calm and collected. 🤗 😘🎉
Super duper true
ua-cam.com/video/bHzQrp0j2tw/v-deo.html
@JOYCE NYINGI Girl you got yourself played i am well vast in the psychometric scales and GEORGE is on the Red Zone any time his analogy is poked he stealthily shifts it in a different form like water sipping through a crack case in point when he heard that the analogy of asking a lady to dress dandy so as to impress the boys of his circle and JULES came out and said she was hurt by a dude in a similar fashion he changed the tone to a more action rather than verbal approach George is the best definition of a PSYCHOPATH you never see it coming.
A🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣i know right
@@ely8200 what are u talking about🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Eli said "may be for him he is actually protecting you by not professing until y'all reach at a certain stage" I FELT THAT.
Eli made some solid points, I wish he spoke more. I was looking at him like "should I book this flight to Nairobi??!" 🤭😅😂
Jules has made a great point about wanting men to communicate where they are and what they want. That's where people lose the signal. However, I found that in life, don't wait for anyone to tell you anything. They don't know what you need to know, and people make a lot of wrong assumptions about each other. I think the safest and most sure way to know something is to ask the right questions. So learning what information you want to garner is important. I also add that do not rely100% on answers being valid, have many ways of validating someone's answers. If you don't ask and you don't tell you end up making silent agreements. No Bueno. Great episode girls. As for Oscar and Eli I think they suffer from analysis paralysis. I work in risk management and I can tell you, you can't anticipate all the risks 100% of the time. It's enough to know how to mitigate so better to build the skills to mitigate, and the rest is actually living. A lot of life is learned by looking backwards, and then you use it as input for better decisions. You also can't base your entire life on other people's experiences (mentors, young fathers etc.) For maybe slightly older people, it's great that there wasn't an influx of self-development movements when they were growing up and you learned by doing. It has its advantages such as living life on your own terms and not what is considered a ready-made template by society. I think one of the best skills one can have today is learning how to be adaptive, and embrace change at whatever point. It's like great design, take Apple, their products evolved over time but they had the courage to launch the first time. So don't be a non-starter because you want to get it right/perfect the first time. It's an illusion and just repackaged anxiety.
I could listen to Eli all day all week!
He is a cultured dude.The Family he comes from is dope it is seen in how he talks abt them or explains his life situation.
Jules deserves a dude like Georgy... They'd make a sweet harmonious couple
Thankyouuuu
Agreed
I deserve Jules 😕🥺
Am thinking oscar 🤔
100% True 😍... And the way Jules was looking at him 😉😊
Oscar is so contradictory. Ultimately, he wants to get so high that when he dates low it’s not that low. Where he is currently, in his mind and perspective, dating low would be too low. He is chasing a high that if not well directed, will lead into a terribly chaotic path.
Oscar is in that state of mind where one has a calm and peaceful mind. Very few get there , I am there and I know the feeling, you don't want people to come in and disrupt the reality you've built. So you vet people (also women) thoroughly before including them in your life. Also the other thing that happens is you start attracting people like fluorescent bulb to moths, when you aren't even trying.
I literally was looking for this comment atleast someone said it. 🙌🏿
honestly that just sounds like a coping mechanism
I wonder though, if you're in a truly peaceful place how is it so fragile that someone coming into your space can take it away? Is that true peace? I don't know 🤷
No, it is fear. Fear makes you soooo guarded because you think people coming close to you come to take without giving. That is a wrong mentality. If you have built a stable situation, it can never be taken down no matter who comes to your life. More so, when you have these vibrations, you always attract that kind of a person you totally do not want. Observe and see.
The solution is to be easy about dating. Let the fear go, explore, meet people, be genuine and things will align
Jules asked if the guys that are "On a journey" like Oscar, still want the benefits of a relationship. The way Oscar flee from that question using flattery was just impressive.
He is the type of guy to say he is in a journey,yet flirt his heart out and expect you to understand it is part of the journey.
@@gatwirikinyua5694 Ati part of the journey 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂I was literally amused
@@gatwirikinyua5694 Exactly my thoughts 😂
I came looking for this comment
I bumped on this episode on twitter, great show, amazing editing, nice insights. As a guy I have a two part comment after watching it:
Part One
- Oscar is looking for a woman that doesn't exist. I like that he's self aware and all, but he's also too materialistic and has Destination Addiction (the belief that you'll be fulfilled when all stars align, and they never allign)
- Georgie is the realest. It also explain why he's made it that far in life. While he has his standards he seems malleable, which helps a lot in long term relationships. Rigidity never works long term.
- Eli is a perfectionist. He's waiting for the right time which never comes. He's also very smart, and smart people overthink everything sometimes to a point of paralysis. You need a lot of blinders to make the bold moves in relationships.
Part Two
This is a great channel. But what you people didn't stress enough in this episode is the role of desire, which can't be negotiated. Everybody knows men will move mountains for the woman they see a future with. Like the example from the lady in orange, once desire fades that's when men start playing games; ghosting, telling lies, cheating or taking you in endless circles.
Finally, this is the first generation where some men have prolonged adolscence INDEFINITELY. So he may be 30, 35 or 40 and have his reasons for not settling down, but the truth is he's a self-centered man child in perpetual dating mode. It's just unfortunate that women realize this when it's too late.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 my goodness you should have been on the panel. Your last point on prolonged adolescence is sooooo true. I see it even in American dating shows like Ready To Love, Love is Blind and the likes. It seems it is a global problem
This is beautifully summarized honestly 🥂
wow my sentiments exactly...well summarised.
Yaaaas, new intro... I love these ladies yawa, I've learnt alot from this girl group. Good work ladies
I had to replay coz i looked away for a min on the intro🥂🍾💯💃🏾
The intro is dope coz it fully embodies who eachbof them is rn..,,love it love ❤
The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love without the intention of loving her-Bob Marley..
Journey people..and people who are finding themselves...avoid those people.
And people who don't return hoodies...avoid those people
Hahahaha I love this comment. The way you're calling us out though 💀 We love your hoodies ya'll, just accept it😂😂😂
1. The hoodie reminds you of your man
2. It smells like your man (atleast before it gets a wash)
3. The oversize fit♥
I liked today's topic but I feel like we didn't get so many points as clearly. Oscar Kept drifting away then Georgie would try get back to the 'signs' bit of the topic. Oscar sounds so technical (like too hard on himself and others) in this journey. I resonated with Georgie's perception, sounds realistic and easy. Everyone made a valid argument all in all.
Oscar was speaking from a man perspective. Men we understand respect, while ladies understand love. Rewatch using that narrative, you will be surprised how “men” we operate with a code of conduct. In the streets, as well in relationships.
@@amishobaracka9933 but Georgie's opinions were based more on love.
The one stunt that is wicked is being introduced to family yet you're not the only one. 🥴🥴
George Ndirangu is very articulate his approach is gold
Oscar is overdoing it...
Eli mmmh the listener but when speaks he oozes wisdom..
Georgie you guy... Always on top of your game.
Oscar is really overdoing it, you read my mind
I agree
💯
Sorry to say this but you feel like that about Oscar coz you aint ready to hear the facts in plain truth.
@@shirleenmueni5041 If you picked some great facts from Oscar good for you 😉. As per the truth I needed to hear mmmmh let's just say we listen and understand differently.
I respect how self aware and committed to his growth Oscar is. And George wow, I loved this panel so much. Thank you Over25.
George Ndirangu was the MVP on this one!
Agreed
Yes!
100%
Defining the prime and attaching the value......EPIC. Y'all are amazing and it's always great being here
Ivy can't help disagreeing with Oscar her facial 😂😂😂😂
It's the intro for meee🥺🥺❤️❤️mad love......am 21 and the fact that I get to learn alot from y'all big sisters means alot...grateful
I once found my stuff in a black polythene bag under my man's bed.This is an eye opener..Ladies,good job...
Ivy adding a partnership can also be beautiful without kids!!!!!!!!!!! Mad respect for recognizing childfree people.
Bring Georgie back!! He needs more airtime.
I second this!!!
"decisions that compound well." 😭 the call out‼️I was about to get a slice of bread to keep me company and I had to sit down and think about it first😂😂 those on their healthy living/weight-loss journey grind understand!
😭😭😭😭😭 The struggle
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
There's pain that hurts and pain that alters. That part.
I disagree with Oscar but understand his POV. Brilliant collabo episode!
It's the new intro for me!!! Glad to see you girls growing and glowing over the years. 🤗
ua-cam.com/video/bHzQrp0j2tw/v-deo.html
Its the new intro for me...recognising individualism and celebrating the wins in togetherness
"There's a pain that hurts and a pain that alters"
I felt that line🌺🌺
Me too! I feel so validated because I've always maintained that I was forever altered by the emotional pain a certain someone inflicted on me!
@@Asalix2 I feel the same way too,honestly I think we need to go for therapy for all this pain and trauma we are going through
Great conversation but damn... dating someone like Oscar sounds like it can be soooo exhausting- no offense. You must be bringing something to the table or at your A game always- Standards- I am glad though that these men are very clear about what they want at this age and are developing themselves to be the kind of people they want to attract. However, it sometimes feels like getting into a relationship with 'the one' is less organic and more technical it sounds so hard... What happened to just falling in love with someone you met who does not check all the boxes? I am with Eli with growing with someone, professing when ready and I agree with George about professing with actions being the most valuable . Btw Jules Oscar shot his shot- your move please :D :D :D
I agree with Georgie - professing without actions is 👌🏾. I disagree with Eli. Even if you say certain things but your actions don't match your words then it's misleading. So yes, Koome I think men are to blame for a girl building a certain narrative. You can't say "I don't want a relationship" but you're taking a girl out on dates, friend hangouts, romance her... Your actions are the total opposite.
Over 25, I loved this episode. 😍 Also like your new intro. 😌
Bytheway this is so true... It beats sense to always go for dates or staying in a union while still professing that you are not interested in a relationship. That is confusion 😅
Man talk...everywhere you go you leave such value!!! We women really need to hear healthy empowered talks. We hear so much other bs that this is sooo refreshing. This episode and the ones you did with TMI are on REPEAT!!! We love to have you everywhere!! Thanks over25 for this collaboration as well!! ❤🔥
I get Oscar. There are people I don't respect because of the relationship they are in and their partner does not respect them at all so even when they speak you are like, but you don't even respect yourself otherwise you wouldn't be in that situation. Then it just looks like this person doesn't have a leg to stand on.
That's a tough reality, I didn't know this
@@mercyme4262 it is. The sad truth is that what we accept in life is based highly on how we view oursleves and how far in the healing we are and people know this and see through it.
lol that guy in a jacket is what happens when you're young and too eager to talk. Kind of unsettled the rhythm and turned a bit cringe but not bad at all altogether
Such a good episode! The discussions were great but I really wish it was a bit more exhaustive on points.
But the one sign by men that is most ignored by women is when he says he's not looking to settle down.
Women usually ignore this. However, men go wrong when after saying "I am figuring it out", they still go ahead and treat you in a certain way (Like a girlfriend).
Almost like this is meant to keep you close enough to keep their options open but far enough that should they change their mind about you then his "hands are clean".
So women, listen when he says he's not ready to settle down and men act accordingly. Keep off her or atleast don't treat her in Any special manner.
In uni guys used to call it "kuweka kwa mfuko" azin she is the back up. Also majority of men say that they aren't looking for a serious thing but ladies hang around. What needs to happen is ladies to stop being foolish.
@@mercyme4262 Point blank period. If he doesn't want it, move on✌️
Some women think they can 'change ' a man by sticking around long enough for him to realise that she is 100 yards of marriage material 😂😂🤩🤩🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@anonnona6433 Total clowning 🤡🤣
Finally....watching you guys...Ivy are you okay today swry????
Namesake ❤😂
someone needs to talk about the body language on this video! so much was said non-verbally...
Great episode,amazing conversation.Oscar is giving chaotic emotional energy, i hope he truly heals and is not so hard on himself and his image before taking babes on "journey's " because hurt people hurt people.
Right .... it seemed personal and fresh for Oscar
I was cringing alot when he was talking ... Hurt people hurt others indeed ... He's so protective of his image ... Vulnerability is also key in any organic relationship ...
@@michelle.migide I cringe whenever he talks about relationships. It's so hard to watch
Ok.Oscar got so personal and so out of topic but but I enjoyed the episode
Good work guys but I think the journey is continuous we have value Even in our struggles Oscar seems to be looking for a perfectionst lakini I like the way IVy advised him.
It's the synced leg cross for me 😂😂😂
..We def want these gents back..too much knowledge
This was really fresh, authentic and eye opening. It is interesting and somewhat validating to hear Oscar's contribution about his journey. Something not many may grasp unless they are on a similar treacherous journey to becoming their best self. Oscar, please keep on doing the self work & development - keep on putting in the work. People may not necessarily value or see the hidden work - they just see the package - but only you know the cost. You keep leveling up to your higher spec version, you'll find your tribe.
24:25 George did it for me.Words of wisdom and clarity.It just shows how men are different in thinking because every one has their own journey and liking.For Oscar,he is building himself first,that is his major.For George,He is open to finding a capable woman even when he is on the journey of building himself.It's a matter of where someone is in their life.I appreciate that
Just Ivy today was quite low and she shown and gave that energy to the audience. She was so disoriented and kept checking her phone and even texting. I hope she will come out of it better.😍
I feel like Ivy was trying to wrap her head in the whole conversation because so much was said. She was trying to get a better understanding so that she can give a good response.
Ivy is such a critical thinker btw. From all/ most videos she’s always trying to understand & it show by her facial expression...
I don't think that was the real issue. She is just someone who wont pretend to agree with something to make one happy. If you notice, was most silent when Oscar was talking and his points were all over so rather than argue, she didn't say much
@@louisawambui4475 Exactly. Well said.
I think it’s because Ivy just recently ended her relationship? So maybe she’s just thinking and considering how the points made in this video relate to her personal experiences.
When Ndirangu said As you move up in society your preference on person changes as well.so that means you will never be fully content in self if you are dependent on where you are to get a partner.I felt that
In a lighter note I really laughed through out the video the banter is amusing
I love the way the boys are articulate and well spoken......
You’ve got to appreciate the quality of this video 🔥🔥🔥
OMG I can no longer multi task when watching Over25!! I need a notebook and a pen. The GEMS!!! Also please please my sistas, can we have a video about TwinderSwindler since its the month of 'love'
I have a lot to say about Oscar's point of view: sounds like he's operating from a place of guardedness and probably a little self-sabotage?....... But yes, to each his own. Great episode and good job on the new intro: it's refreshing
not at all, he has reasons which for his life based on what he values they make sense lol, don't project these feelings of self sabotage. no.
Yeah I definitely see the guardedness... I think that relationship broke him a little
Watching with a pen and paper. The words! I like how these guys are defending their points with so much clarity that actually makes sense. Control of words 💯
I understand What Oscar .(without knowing any details) when the man left the couple, society petty the girl . When girl left the guy, the guy is look down. Like he's weak. It's double standard. In my home country Gabon ,Years ago , in public administration it Was not possible to have a powerful position if à Man was not married or if his wife left. They said how could we trust you with public affair if the your are not able to manage your own family. I am so happy this type of 'thinking' is more and reject by my generation.
With regard to the topic today, the man should also protect you from yourself. If you have an self-destructive habit eg poor financial discipline, if a man helps you grow yourself it shows willingness to have you in the long run. Mtu wa hit and run they don't give a shit about your weaknesses and sometimes they'll make you feel bad about yourself instead of grow you.
Oscar might be the chaos, he might be the drama 😂😂 his views were all over the place but this was an amazing conversation .. i also love the new intro .. good job 👏
He is the drama 😂😂
The level of excitement I have on seeing Mantalk Ke with you guys is unmatched🤩
Loving the new intro.
Alafu Mantalk Ke. What more would you ask for?
I love this conversation aki aloooot ....
Please..a video on codependent and interdependent relationship with these guys 🥺...i need to understand the pros and cons of each and which is better
Hi my name is Dara. I just wanted to say that really appreciate each and everyone of your perceptions. Each of you individually as women first and foremost especially Black African women are inciting dialogue and are courageously diving into topics that need deeper translation. I mean this with the utmost respect please keep doing what your doing for we need more conversations like this. If I may please contact you in some way and I know it's strange because we are not familiar with each other at all but please I would love to just have a conversation with you please and thank you. God bless and keep inspiring us.
The man in Black's Trauma/ POV > Metaverse/ internet/ err..thing!!! 😁😁😁 ( I'm Ivy's expression through out!!) Another banger , Over25. Salute
Shout out to single ladies looking forward to settling and landed on this episode, you got the 'cheat sheet'. Make use of it.
Sheet cheet
I totally get Oscar.
I completely understand where he's coming from .
I'm in that exact place. And as a person that gives 100% to a relationship, I can't afford not to be careful. It can be very damaging if it starts only to end.
Me I just love the way you guys speak good English without faking the accent. Of course with exception of Eli, who has a natural British accent.
Ofcourse*
He grew up in the UK I believe.
@@jodi_emm9438 I'm telling you it's always a problem spelling it. That's for the correction
Hugs to Jules, seems so much has happened to you, love you ladies and the men were on point hope to have them around more often. Ladies, you look amazing always and thank you for the episode💌
Lornzie your hair is gorgeously styled!
Contextualization of the writer is very important whenever one is reading, not everything or post/ book that we read is true
That's why critical thinking is of essence, not everyone does though
Oscar what's in your heart is valid. But there is no perfect scenerio. Even you are not perfect. There are things you will learn. I'm sorry but you are being very theoretical. Life is about growth, through the rain and sunshine. Through the ups and downs. That's how friendships are cemented. That's how a woman ends up protecting her man's empire not because they were two perfect people who met and created magic. Just relax. You are amazing. Life is a journey. There is no perfect goal. We keep learning and living. You are an amazing guy. Just relax. ❤️ All love.
17:45 Ivy, I hope you are okay. I felt sad...
I don't know about you💁🏾♀️ but I 🙋🏾♀️ thoroughly enjoyed the whole conversation. I have heard of the points from books, podcasts and other avenues. However, this hit different. It felt more humanized, balanced with experience, knowledge and intentional self awareness. Some points could have put me off before but I found myself internalizing and willing to hear out the why do they think like that. My cup is full. Thank you. Great job ladies and gentlemen and to more growth. 🍾
I feel like Ivy still has so much to say, esp at 48:43 and I'm literally dying to hear it 🙊
I hope there's a part 2. Or an "Ivy reacts to her reactions" 😇
When Jules and Ivy crossed legs at the same time😂... aaah😍😍😍😍
I am with Eli. 100 and one percent. George too. I agree with some things that Oscar says not all. The ladies are great. Love this!
Loved LOVED this episode to the point where I almost grabbed a pen and notebook to take notes! However, I couldn’t help but notice that some points from the gents got lost along the way, so this is my official petition for a part 2, please and thank you! Great job guys 😊
Georgie, Jules and Ivy😍❤..all my favs together on set! I love it!
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode. @Ivy I appreciate your depth on the understanding of the prime of a woman.
Great episode guys!😍 but I’m seriously questioning why there’s no signs she’s not ready to settle down or signs she’s no longer interested 💀it’s always the niggas being given space to be like that
Petition to have this episode soon because in this exploration era, we as women ought to have such space" too
Whoa! You said it. Hope they do this episode.
That's because men control access to marriage. He is the one to ask for your hand and pay dowry. No matter how much a woman wants to be married she cannot make a man give dowry or pay for a wedding or even show up for it.
Yoooooh 🙌
@@mercyme4262 precisely!!