Couples Therapy or Call It Quits?! -- Reddit Stories -- FULL EPISODE
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- Опубліковано 5 лис 2021
- Two Hot Takes host, Morgan, is joined by guest co-host Justin. This episode is getting back to some drama relating to couples.. Based on the drama and what OP writes we give takes on whether we think couples therapy.. or just get out now!! Give us your takes!!
As always your support is very appreciated: / twohottakes
Full length Audio only episodes available on all podcast platforms!
Index:
1:47 -- (sister-in-law misplaced camera)
17:27 -- (upset wife brought lunch to work)
32:15 -- (boyfriend rates my cooking)
51:06 -- (financially manipulative husband)
1:08:15 -- (boyfriend moved in…now stuff is disappearing)
Story links:
/ aita_for_wanting_to_su...
/ aita_for_telling_my_wi...
/ aita_for_no_longer_let...
/ i_30m_pissed_my_wife_2...
/ my_22f_boyfriend_25m_i... - Комедії
THIS PODCAST SAVED MY LIFE
I was coming back home at night last weekend, and because i forgot my headphones at home i was listening to the podcast out loud. And they i see a group of men coming in my direction so i went to the further from them as possible, when one of them turn on his phones lantern and point it at me. Then they start laughing and coming in my direction. I was so scared that i didn't even had a reaction. I just kept walking. All of a sudden one of them said " she is on a call". And then they all turn and went away from me. I wasnt i a call, it was Morgan's voice that save me that day. When i say that "two hot takes" saved my life i am not even joking. Thank you so MUCH 💓
Please be safe hun the world is scary please walk with a friend or keep something for protection
That's so scary, I'm glad you're okay.
😮 wow I’m glade your ok
So scary glad you are safe
i'm so glad you're okay
The guys making fun of the guy for his wife bringing him lunch are probably just jealous they don't have someone willing to do that for them
They’re ALL single. Knock on wood.
Their bullying makes zero sense but I guess that’s bullying. They are grown ass people tho so like it makes even less sense
@@BrokenSir1 they are just miserable humans who have to try and make others miserable with them
I don’t understand why he didn’t take it as a joke? Of course his coworkers aren’t going to be buddies with him now…. He yelled at his wife instead of having a sense of humor!!
Exactly, the fact that he didn't stood up to his wife instead blaming her for the teasing... He doesn't deserve her
I am infuriated at the husband in the first story. The sister is disrespectful and entitled. Rude Rude RUDDEEE. Especially when they're letting her stay with them. But I would feel completely betrayed if my husband prioritized someone who so blatantly didn't respect my wishes, lost my property after technically stealing it, and then expects me to replace it?? I would fully expect my husband to replace it if he wouldn't make his sister replace it. Ugh. Small claims is such a tricky subject because it can end up costing more money than it's worth.. but ugh. Just such a sour taste in my mouth. 😤 Screw the therapy, get a new man.
Me too. It's fucked how he takes his sister above his partner.
Idk where they are but where I grew up in small claims court OP could tack on any court costs to her SIL since she’s in the wrong for not just settling the debt without the court. OP could also include lost wages from the time she takes off to be in court in some places.
Fr my blood is BOILING
She should go pawn both of their sh*t and buy a camera with that money. See how they feel.
I just want to know where they found all of that AUDACITY
Story 2 I’m petty and I’d be like “look I’m sorry you’re all virgins and don’t understand adult relationships but it’s probably your attitude that makes women find you unattractive.”
Fucking seriously though. Sooo embarrassing that they all thought that was tease worthy.
YES LIKE OH MY GOD. That is a room full of like ADULTSSSS UGH.
THANK YOU! But also, there is a level of the poster needing to get over it and move on - if you can't handle it you shouldn't be there - this shit is gentle compared to what I got at one of my workplaces in the past - all I did was dish it back and it blew over. He sounds SO precious!
Yes honey 💯
I’d be even more petty and bring cookies for everyone wearing an apron that says Mama knows best.
First one is not a "petty issue." That camera is a huge part of her work, and she might not be able to work until she gets a new camera. If I sued. I'd not only sue for the camera, but sue for the lost wages for not having a camera.
Imagine if she had strict deadlines that week that she couldn't comply to because of someone else's negligence. It angers me so much
@@rubybee2180 or imagine she didn’t backed up her work from the memory card! I would sue the shit out of them. Idc what they say, that is my belongings and u stole it. I hope she sued them lol
@@aimies Exactly! Also if she's working in a company and not as a freelancer, that means other people are relying on her to do the job also. The sister is mature enough to realize the gravity of her mistake and it's annoying how she's babied
that’s what I was thinking! It was THEFT, not some thing Morgan really talked about, but it was part of the property of the business, I’m assuming, which means she missed a few days, weeks or months until she gets a new camera, and that affects her paychecks, probably even her emotional stability a little bit. The lawsuit should be for more than just the cost of the camera. It should also cover a new key to go with a new locking cabinet!
Damn i would sue her SO HARD and dump the husband too. This is work material, not a toy
For the first story, the husband and the sister should replace the camera together. I kind of blame him more for the camera being lost than the sister
I mean, definitely the sister is an entitled little brat bc she expects to get her way all the time. See the original fight the boyfriend, and the fact she'd already been said no to borrowing the camera but asked again, this time to her brother who obviously enables her awful behavior and she knew would say yes this time. He had no right to lend something that isn't even his to begin with, but clearly she's mostly responsible. Even if she did take it without the owner's permission, could've taken care of it and NOT throw a tantrum like a child in the middle of the beach bc of her boyfriend, again. She's such an asshole omg!
And I 100% the idiot husband should pay for it too, even if I think she's mostly to blame. Like, you thought you were entitled enough to that camera to give it away without permission but not to replace it? And you're defending the person who lost it? Fine, then you pay it. She wouldn't have had it in the first place if you didn't give her the key! Jesus, I can't believe this pair of siblings... Zero accountability from any of them
Same I think that’s why he refuses to admit the sister is liable because then he’d have to admit he messed up too
all of us would fight. end of discussion. Because you're telling me my HUSBAND gave her the key?! I definitely understand the husband being in the middle and all, and imagine that is tough, BUT by letting her get the camera he inserted himself smack dab in the middle of the whole thing. So yes, they need to go halfsies on it. I would even consider a divorce because he kept telling her to calm down. We do not downplay ANYONES feelings. BYE
Your profile pic is SO cute! Pretty girl!
Yeah I was just about to say I would never give something of my partners to anyone if they weren't even in the room. If I couldn't get permission from my partner to touch their things it's not happening. People seem to forget that just because you're with somebody doesn't mean that you actually own all of their things they're still a separate human being for me with rights and life.
Ugh the credit card story hit hard for me - I have a twin sister and my mom grew up POOR POOR from the slums in the Philippines gathering pop bottles to make money and going to bed hungry poor. She worked hard to get immigrate to Canada.
She did all the shopping , gifts and birthday planning when we were growing up and my dad constantly went over the credit card charges. Berating her for getting a $50 haircut. She worked full time and did all the cooking and cleaning as well. She taught us the value of money and made sure we saved for school, emergencies etc. She made sure she had money set aside for us just in case. My dad did NONE of this, my mom had to get him to start saving for retirement. But despite all this he never trusted her with money.
He forgot our birthdays too - AND how old we were.
He's cut off of my life now. Dad's like this suck
Wow this sounds so similar to the story. Thank you so much for sharing. Your mom sounds incredible!!
@@TwoHotTakes thanks for saying that 💖 she is the most hard working woman I know. Hopefully the father in the story starts being present for his wife and kids
When I heard this story I immediately thought of my dad- 😳
Further proof that he’s not only hurting his wife with his actions, this will definitely have an effect on their kids ❤️🩹 Children notice how parents treat each other
@@deniat.2088 my dad too!!
For the cooking one: Gordon Ramsay doesn’t treat his daughter that way when she cooks at home. He only evaluates her when she his working with him. There are boundaries. OP was also cooking for her family. She probably cooked it exactly to her family’s recipe. So him evaluating it is bs.
He was also always kind to the little kids on Masterchef Junior. Basically, if you're someone really just genuinely trying to learn to cook, I don't think he'd be rude, you know? Because he knows that wouldn't be helpful.
@@heatherduke5410 That's true. He's only really tough on people like in Kitchen Nightmares and Hell's Kitchen because these are adults who claim to be trained chefs, or capable of running a kitchen and then they do horrible things that could get people sick.
@@Slinky_Loki1967 Oh, exactly. With Hell's Kitchen, they're wanting to be in charge of one of his many restaurants and some have jobs in the restaurants or catering businesses. With Kitchen Nightmares, they're working in restaurants and are supposed to be these trained chefs but have so many health code violations.
@@heatherduke5410 Yep, exactly. He told people on Kitchen Nightmares all the time that they would kill someone with what they were serving. He had to get through to them.
@@Slinky_Loki1967 And that's what upset him. They were putting other people in danger with disgusting practices. With someone just learning to cook like the OP in this story, someone who isn't a professional at all and isn't planning on becoming one, he'd help the OP to figure out to do certain things and actually be helpful
The second story: that guy is not to far off from abuse. The way he handled that is a HUGE red flag.
I agree! And he didn't sound remorseful about how he talked to his wife. You would think he would at least have said he felt bad or normally would never talk to her this way.
Right. Anyone that feels justified in using someone as a "emotional punching bag" is only going to get worse in that relationship. In my experience, counseling doesn't help that. Petition to help that wife get out.
@@cheyyaekel9696 emotional punching bag is the exact term I was thinking of but couldn't put it into words! It's what children do when they don't know how to channel their feelings bc they don't have the emotional tools to voice out what's upsetting them, especially with the person that's upsetting them. But it's also what grownup, abusive assholes do when they don't have a backbone and can't stand up for themselves so they take it out on the person they KNOW either won't fight back or will take it just because they love them, and end up gaslighting them into thinking it's THEIR fault that they're having such a hard time .
It's such a chain of abuse, the bigger bully harasses the smaller person, and then this person since they don't stand up for themselves do it to someone who they think is weaker and will just sit there and take it. (for example a husband who abuses his wife, the wife doesn't have the courage to fight back and therefore takes it out on the children). So toxic, it's so disgusting and I can't believe he doesn't see that.
That husband is an emotionally immature dick and that wife needs to find someone deserving of the kindness she has to give.
Imo its emotional abuse. He lashed out at his wife for what someone else said to him
They all sound like the classic incels you *would* find on Reddit. I know Morgan raves about how sweet and cool Reddit is a lot of the times, but those of us who actually use Reddit know…that place is swarming with incels and femcels too. It’s become a meme.
Last story was terrifying, and his motive was 100% to slowly isolate her from friends, family and even work. An absolute narcissist!! So glad reddit informed her about all the red flags and she reacted perfectly, protecting herself and going no contact without giving him a chance to manipulate her further.
For the story with the wife making the husband the homemade meal at work…I’m convinced *none* of those men (especially Austin) are taken. I’m surprised OP is either. His wife is an Angel.
exactly. his coworkers literally are acting like children and any grown man would see that and not take it out on the wife. during the story I forgot this was husband and wife. this is something I would say when I was like 11 in middle school to my mom !
Right?! I'm so confused. Wtf is going on!! I wish someone brought me lunch at work lol 😆
I feel so bad for her, she put time and love into cooking for him, I can just picture her cooking with a smile on her face being so happy to do this for him. and he just went absolutely ballistic on her. what the actual f is wrong with him. that poor sweetheart, bless her heart
If I did that for my partner and they reacted this way I wouldn't stay
He doesn’t deserve her. And F Austin.
"I love your cooking no matter how flawed it is." What a backhanded compliment
I love Justin’s reactions, nice to know he has a good head on his shoulders. I’ve been in a relationship 16 years and these stories make me nervous that idk who I’m with and then gives me comfort because my boyfriend leaving drawers open doesn’t seem so bad. Also the most outlandish stories I’ll tell my bf to see his reaction to feel him out to see his stance on them and 100% of the time he’s appalled but definitely gives his two cents lol.
I do the same lol but with my ex… we have a son together and spend quite some time together. In the car I play their videos and some stories remind me of why we are not together lol he just looks at me and tells me he knows what I’m doing 😅
I so much agree, I actually see so much of myself in him. He genuinely thinks about everything and considers his own life experiences in relation to the topic, so refreshing to watch!
Right it's a breath of fresh air to hear a reaction like his
Story 1: the husband knew exactly why there was a lock on the door. He knew it was because his sister was stealing things and losing them. He had zero business opening that door. There is no way he didn’t know that it would upset and hurt his wife. He knew the reason was that it would get lost. They are trying to gaslight her in to thinking that it is not a big deal like they had done previously. The OP says that she had already replaced multiple things that the SIL broke and lost. They are stonewalling her which is a abuse tactic to get her to submit to their mistreatment. There are red flags all over this. Husband needs to step up and put his wife first and stop enabling his sister. Sister needs to move out and he needs to commit to serious individual and couples thearpy or OP should to file for divorce. That is just not acceptable behavior. OP in the meantime should rekey the door and not give a copy to her husband.
***When OP files for divorce she should ask for the value of the camera.
When they said “how flawed” the food is, my jaw hit the floor. If someone said that to me, especially my SO, I would cry.
I would cry and probably NEVER cook for them again
Same! I was like did he actually slip that in there
The girl who made her gaslighting bf watch Gaslight is A SAVAGE QUEEN! AMAZING!
I gotta add this move to my watch list!
@@TwoHotTakes the original UK version is better, but the film quality isn’t as good. Worth watching both
@@TwoHotTakes You all should! Such a good movie!
My bf overheard story #2 and said, "If you brought me food and someone started calling you my mommy, I would say, 'Damn right: you wish you had one!'" I love my bf. ❤️ He always bats more me and defends me when needed.
The "OMG she RELAPSED🤯" story is like when you sleep in on a Saturday and your parents come sit on your bed and ask if you're depressed😂 But seriously!!! She spent less than $1,000 on Christmas, her twins' birthday, birthday party, and kids haircuts. Literally smarter with money than I could be!😂
Also what did he mean by “relapse”? As far as the story indicated she was in debt because she was poor, not a shopaholic. So wtf was he even doing using that word?
I read the one where the guy got on his wife for the $600 credit card bill. I was SO confused by it, because not only does $600 not sound like that big of a credit card bill, she bought things from places like Game Stop of all places and it apparently didn't cross this dude's mind that this may be for the twins' birthday?
He didn't even realize the kids birthday was coming up, he's that bad of a dad.
@@veronicawilson7594 Oh, exactly. I think that's what stuns me. And him wanting to make things up to his wife because he realized how hard it is doing all of the shopping. It sounds as if he doesn't talk to his children since he cannot even find out what gifts they may want. And by the sounds of it, Christmas gifts were mostly from her since she was the one who'd pick out what the twins wanted.
But yeah, besides Gamestop, two haircuts(did he not notice the kids had their hair cut or trimmed?), there was also the movie that would be in theaters on the tenth of November. Clifford the Big Red Dog. A perfect movie for a few six year olds.
It’s also so weird that he refers to her “having a relapse” and like she has a spending problem when it doesn’t sound like she actually ever had a spending problem to begin with…..was just poor and had to do what she had to do.
@@tylercooke6893 Oh, exactly. It doesn't even seem as if her debt was THAT huge and it was probably caused by college(which is expensive) and living on her own for the first time. Even the credit card bill she had wasn't huge. I mean, six hundred dollars for haircuts, groceries, stuff for the twins' birthday, and for Christmas(no idea if they have siblings, but they have two kids, two sets of parents, and each other to buy for) is pretty low...
He didn’t even remember when their birthday is
FINAL UPDATE for the last Story that didn’t get included in the podcast.
Edit: OP, I think you should make another post. Her second update takes such a drastic turn and reveals her ex to be much more sinister.
FINAL UPDATE I'll try to keep it short this time. Unfortunately, my last update was locked so I couldn't reply to every comment I would have liked to reply to. In the past few weeks I've gotten some messages asking if I'm ok/ still alive so I thought I'd write one more update.
I'd love to give you an overall happy update, but unfortunately, the breakup didn't go as smoothly as I first thought it would. I never picked up when my ex called me and never wrote back to one of his countless messages, but I read most of them and there was a certain shift in his messages after about four days when he suddenly went from this:
"I love you and miss you so much. I don't know what you think I have done but I can assure you I didn't do anything wrong! Whoever told you that is a liar! Please give me another chance!" to this:
"You're such a whiny b***tch, no wonder you can't hold up a relationship with anyone! I hate you and there's no second chance for us no matter how much you wish for that! For your own sake, pray to not ever run into me again!" I blocked his number later that same week but had an overall bad feeling when some strange things happened: some friends of mine called to ask if I'm ok and they were all under the impression I had broken up with him because I wanted to "concentrate on my mental health". Twice, I came to work and everyone was surprised to see me because someone had called to let them know I wasn't feeling well enough for working. When I asked who that was, they said he told them he was my doctor. Also, my ex wrote to my mom on facebook (they actually never met in person!) pretending to be a concerned friend asking about my wellbeing after my "latest breakdown".
It was very easy to clear some of that stuff up, especially with my family, but it was harder to do so at work. After three weeks at my brothers', I decided to move back into my own apartment, which was not a good idea. On the second evening I saw my ex in front of the building and then I saw him at least every other day, standing on the other side of the street just looking across. After about a week, someone started to ring the bell at 3am for 5 days straight. Also, three times I came home and found a little piece of paper in front of my door with a flame drawn on it. It creeped me out so much that he somehow managed to get into the building! I grew more and more afraid to leave the apartment and finally decided to move back in with my brother and his family.
My friend, whom I shared the apartment with and who is currently abroad, didn't take too well to the whole story. She was furious when she heard I changed the locks without telling her, and even more furious when I told her I'd be moving out because that was not what we initially agreed upon. However, I just can't go back there. In hindsight though, I probably should have involved her more in the process. I did ask her parents if it was ok to change the locks as it is their apartment, but I didn't speak to her about it. I feel really shitty about letting him stay in her apartment in the first place!
I also went to the police to get a restraining order. It was a surprise to me how hard it is to get one of those. I needed not only evidence of him harrassing me but also evidence of him threatening my safety. However, after long hours and much patience from my SIL, I got one.
The bright side is that I got approved for my semester abroad which starts in October. To not burden my brother any longer, I will already leave in August and maybe travel around a bit. I'm already in a Facebook group with all the other exchange students that will spend the next semester there and I think I certainly won't be alone :) When I'll come back, I'll be looking for a small apartment on my own. I still don't have Amazon Prime. I'm sorry.
I can't thank you all enough for opening my eyes after my first post here. I actually had no idea what was going on, even if I had a feeling that something was off. You guys saved me from a very abusive relationship and every day, I'm grateful I got out of it soon enough.
tl;dr: I successfully went no-contact with my ex, but he continued to be creepy so I had to get a restraining order and moved out of my apartment for good. I hope it's all over now..
This should be pinned
oh my god... what if he was planning to convince everyone around her that her mental health was in such a bad state that she'd commit s*icide so he'd be able to... murder her eventually (as in, if I can't hae you no one can) and stage it as such. idk if this is too unreal but why else would he go to the lenghts of calling people AT HER WORKPLACE, apart from her friends to tell them she was having a hard time? So that if she went M.I.A. they'd assume that she was taking time for herself and give him time to arrange shit, come up with an alibi and flee? Honestly I might be exaggerating, maybe too many true crime podcasts for me, but this guy is CLEARLY messed up, I wouldn't put it past him. That bit was TERRIFYING to me.
Goodness i hope she changes cities at least.. this dude seems to be something else. Possibly like Joe from You. Like if I can’t have you then no one can.
Holy shit.... Reddit literally saved her. Thank god she got out of that relationship when she did. He is definitely a narcissistic psychopath. I'm also so happy she was able to get the restraining order.
@@LeilaleilaZ I agree with you. I was thinking the same. This guy is sick and needs to be locked up
1:02:01 I started crying when Morgan said “we have to survive” because I’ve never heard anyone say that about credit card debt. Its always this shameful secret. I was in a similar situation where I grew up poor and moved out at 17 and TRIED to work and study and struggled only to heavily depend on a credit card with no support elsewhere. Its not until now that I have access to some of my mothers life insurance money that I’m able to pay it off. I’ve had this shame for the last 7 years and to this day have felt so insecure about it because there is such a stigma around credit card debt. People assume you have no self control and are reckless but I had no one to guide me or help me. I really was just trying to survive. It affected my self esteem and the way I viewed my life. I felt such a weight lift off just hearing those words. Thank you Morgan for your insight and for talking so openly about it. Love love love this podcast xx
No one would fault the girl in the last story for not confronting him. That is a SCARY situation and she did what she felt was a safer option. Especially since the bf was trying to gaslight and control her. I agree with you Morgan that it could’ve turned into a “I’ll kill you” situation and it’s sad that she had to even do that. Men, do better.
Good, the financially abusive husband deserves to be responsible for it all because he doesn’t even remember his children’s birthdays? $600 dollars is not even that much extra. I’m glad she put it in him, less stress for her.
We spend like 500 to 600 dollars just to grocery shop. Really wondering about him
@@imperviousdonut yeah back when I was living witht he whole family $600 was grocerys for a month. this lady needs to get the fuck out of there.
First story: I bet the sister in law KNEW her ex was going to the beach with another girl and took the camera so she could film him cheating.
The first story my take is that the husband is a huge enabler and she- the sister will continue to do as she pleases towards ops stuff knowing there will be no consequences not the asshole at all proper cameras are so expensive and to say that op should be the one to replace it is disgusting. As a married couple you are a united front when he married you he chose you over everyone and everything to turn his back on her like this is terrible.
In the credit card story. Another controlling aspect of this is that by only having her as an authorized user on HIS card. He is preventing her from building credit to make milestone purchases in the future.
Yes!!!! Is she even on the mortgage?
I think the last story is so important to talk about, I’m really glad you included it! I was in an abusive relationship for two years and it infuriates me when people ask “why would you ever stay? “ Mostly because I used to be one of those people.
It’s because it doesn’t start with big stuff. It doesn’t start with “you can’t hang out with any of your friends anymore” it starts out with “well I just don’t love when you hang out with THAT friend because she’s not a good influence” or “your family doesn’t really make me comfortable I’d like if we saw them a little less.” And it escalates more and more.
Run while it’s small!!
The story of the wife bringing lunch for her husband and he blew up on her almost made me cry I felt so bad for her😢
For the partner in the third story: Mixing your professional attitude/habits with your day to day and love life is so damn stupid. That'd be like a male gynecologist about to have sex with his wife and then out of the blue doing an exam and throwing out a diagnose. Like NO! This is your home life, your partner! Good for you for having a teaching position which clearly shows your ability, but not only is it idiotic to begin with to think you can behave the same way with your girlfriend the way you do with your students, but you've been TOLD it wasn't well received and then you go and do it in front of her family? Why tf didn't YOU cook for the family if you're so outstanding then? Jfc
And on top of that, THE Gordon Ramsay would never do such a douchey thing outside of his work place. From what we've been shown even if he's a culinary legend the guy is quite humble when it comes to home cooking and taking into consideration non-professional cooks' feelings; he's only a dick when it comes to actual cooks not even doing their job right. If Gordon can hold back his comments, you can do it with your own girlfriend who's cooking for you AND the family dude.
I swear to God this episode messed up my blood pressure lmao
“What wasn’t fair was calling his sister reckless when she didn’t mean to lose it” That is literally what being reckless is…to do something without caring about the consequences, like getting into a fight with someone on the beach and storming off without a valuable possession…
I think she pawned it there’s no way the lost it. This girl had no job she saw that as money! Asking with all the other stuff that went missing
@@myriambasoah3888i initially thought she could be an addict, when OP said at first she kept taking things that wouldn’t come back
Reddit saved the last OP’s life. Or at least her sanity. I’m so proud that she was able to see the red flags so early on and protected herself. That ex is abusive and things could have escalated to something really scary.
Edit: I don’t know what OP is talking about when she says she acted cowardly. She acted smartly. When you are dealing with people like that, it’s pointless to try and get them to admit to their mistakes. The only thing you need to worry about is getting out. That man could have hurt her.
Time stamps
1st story-1:47 (sister-in-law misplaced camera)
2nd story-17:27 (upset wife brought lunch to work)
Butcher Box ad-31:13
3rd story-32:15 (boyfriend rates my cooking)
Oak Essentials ad-50:03
4th story-51:06 (financially manipulative husband)
5th story-1:08:15 (boyfriend moved in…now stuff is disappearing)
i was searching the comment for time stamps, thank u!
OMG THX they really should put time stamps
About the 4th story, the credit card one:
Tbh I don’t think I’d be able have the same relationship after that. His attitude denotes 3 big issues:
1) This is the smallest issue, but from his post I get the impression that he cares more about now having to do all this stuff, than about hurting his wife’s feelings. He’s rushing to fix this, so he doesn’t have to do more work, not because he’s hurt someone he cares about.
2) This shows he’s never really trusted her, at least with money.
Like the wife said, he’s just been waiting for the other shoe to drop. And to know someone who’s supposed to be it for you, that should be your person, always on your corner, doesn’t actually trust you? That is not something you can just get over.
3) His response also shows that he wouldn’t actually be a partner you can depend on when in a crisis.
What if she actually had a shopping addiction? She would need help and support, not someone screaming at her, that is not how you solve problems.
If it was me, this event would make me worried that if I had a real problem in the future, he would get mad and/or blame me instead of offering actual support.
Basically, I think this whole thing would break my trust completely and would make me see the whole relationship through a different lens.
He also is so uninvolved with his children he didn’t know they needed haircuts, or whats going on in their school, or even when their birthday is
@@princesslulu5795and She called her a SAHM when she actually works outside AND has all the work with the house and the kids
UPDATE (last story)
The last OP posted another update. After the breakup, the ex boyfriend went completely off the rails, became verbally abusive, called her family and workplace to say that she was sick (when she wasn’t) and started stalking her. She had to get a restraining order. Luckily, OP is moving abroad for a while.
After watching this I realized that I think my ex might have been abusive. He used to hide my birth control and when I broke up with him he used to text me saying he hopes I'm pregnant so that he'd always be in my life. He told me he loved me after 3 weeks and then cheated on me a month later. I forgave him, like a idiot and only broke up with him after he cheated a 3rd time and drove his motorbike home drunk then didn't call or text me for 24 hours.
Sounds like you dodged such a bullet 😅
Don't ever call yourself an idiot when you've been manipulated by that kind of people
Holy crap, he was 100% abusive. I'm glad you're away from him!
My thoughts on all the stories:
1st: sue the abusive thieves and get a new man who isn't in love with his sister. Big yikes on his inability to see that he's wrong
2nd: kudos to that guy's wife for standing up for herself. I hope he can get therapy and a new job
3rd: sounds like Jerry has no respect for his partner, or understanding of how his behavior affects others, other than how to manipulate them. His reaction to her expressing her feelings was downright scary. Turning it back on her and then stonewalling her? He should stay gone.
4th: wife was the perfect level of petty. Dude way overreacted and deserves his punishment. I think the wife saying he should spend 5 years groveling is MERCIFUL and she's probably only sticking around for the kids.
5th: clearly testing boundaries for gaslighting. I thought the question about "how do you recognize love bombing" was really valid, cause I've been wondering that myself. I think the key is that OP felt practically dragged into the relationship. This is BIG scary. OP is an absolute BAMF with how they handled that situation, not at all a coward.
About the gas-lighting story - My ex was a covert malignant narcissist and I didn't have anyone to ask for input when he began to treat me that way (grooming, isolating, gas-lighting, love bombing, moving too fast etc). It got worse and worse until he was threatening my life, stalking me and finally attacked me. I have to share custody of our daughter with him and I'm going to have to do a lot of damage control and preventative education about manipulation and abuse to ensure that she doesn't fall prey either to him or to romantic partners she has in the future. I wish they taught these life skills in schools to protect people (esp. women) from this treatment.
the last one is TERRIFYING, i really wonder what his intentions were but her solution wasn’t cowardly at all, she put her safety first above getting answers, this man sounds he craves insane control over his partner. im so glad she ended the way she did and i hope he doesn’t come to find her!!
Me too, abusive partners, especially the ones that keep you from your friends and family, are so scary. She really did the right thing. Who knows what he would have done if she met up and confronted him?
Putting safety first is never cowardly.
My theory is that he was trying to prevent her from leaving / going to see family or friends; OP said earlier that he often used excuses to prevent her from going out. She also says that the items that went missing were usually things she needed for that day (-either for work or to return) and since his aim clearly wasn’t to keep them my thinking is that he wanted to make her unable to leave
He did.. He started stalking her and she had to move out and get a restraining order. She posted an update in the comments.
First story: I suspect the sister-in-law has underlying psychiatric issues, and trying to manage her emotional instability has become second nature at this point. Maybe the family has tried to set boundaries before, and the SIL freaked out. Maybe they can’t help but feel sorry for her, because she probably suffers quite a lot. Either way, husband and MIL are probably so used to enabling her that they don’t even understand why isn’t everyone else doing the same. The sad thing is, none of the helps the SIL, as she needs therapy, and husband is jeopardizing his marriage, and maybe other aspects of his life, by normalizing that behavior. OP is being invited to take part in the old family dynamic where SIL takes the center stage and everyone else caters to her needs.
I would sit down with the husband, expose my discomfort at the situation, suggest some new boundaries (like maybe giving SIL a deadline to move out), and suggest therapy. If he is not willing to consider his wife’s feelings and work on the relationship, maybe it’s time to call it quits.
GREAT analysis
For the 4th story. I also think it's worth noting that she gets VA disability for sexual assult and cannot work for male superiors without panic attacks. So he then tells at her and he's probably still down playing how much. But he also said in a reply that he doesn't support her with her trauma because talking about it makes *him* uncomfortable
Omfg. If he isn’t an authoritative male, who is. 😡
I wonder when he blew up at her whether she was scared of him, that's why she didn't respond or explain herself immediately.
4th story, as someone who grew up working class, poor kids grow up to be really good savers
also, that story really goes to show how much work mothers are expected to do. some men could never
That toxic masculinity at that man’s work is jaw-dropping, those men need to learn some manners and grow up.
the thing about constructive criticism is that it needs to be solicited
One thing I wanted to state for all of us who have been in a long term abusive relationship. It really doesn’t start of with swinging. Mine started off with being told how insanely beautiful I was and how I would look even BETTER in something else. He slowly started asking me to change things in a kind way where it didn’t seem weird. Took 8 months before he ever used an aggressive tone on me. Took 1 year and a half for him to lay a hand on me and after the fact he spoiled me so that it seemed like it was normal. People called us perfect so I assumed that this is a normal perfect relationship. Took 2 years before I almost died from him beating me and causing my eating disorder. Took until the 3 year mark for me to end it when he verbally abused me in a public movie theater. And the only reason I dumped him was the kind lady behind me who called him out and offered me to stay with her till I could get a ride home. Abusers can be very smart in how they act and make you feel like a Princess before dragging you to hell.
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Thank you for sharing your story. I had no idea that it started off with little things before it escalated. I’ve heard of people saying if your partner tells you to change your clothes then leave him, and I never really understood why until your comment
It shouldn’t be so severe, LET HER KNOW SHE CAN BUY HER OWN THINGS!!!! She deserves to a salon trip. Some new shoes and clothes.
Yes. I feel so bad for that woman she was literally being a saint and he just couldn’t help but be an ass. He better kiss her butt from this point on and leave her alone whenever she does anything at all with the credit card. And yes let her go shopping and to the salon. She’s putting food on the table for him and their sons, she’s also leading their lives so she deserves him on his hands and knees for her.
I’m tired of home makers not getting the respect they deserve they work day and night sometimes. My grandma was a home maker for us since our mom passed away and nobody was doing it like she was, she owned all of us on leashes and I took it with honor.
Okay, I’ve never not like Justin BUT these past few uploads I’m in awe with him! You found a good one Morgan!
I loved when Justin said “I’m like secret service over that shit” 🤣
To Justin's comment saying that since middle school he hasn't experienced bullies because he guessed he surrounded himself with the right people. I was bullied really badly in middle school and high school, and it still has lasting effects on me to this day (I'm 27), however, I now have some of the most amazing people in my life. I think being bullied, while it was awful and still is in some cases, I learned how to pick my friends and recognize who was real and who wasn't.
Totally agree! Some of the worst things we experience can lead to a higher sense of self worth and making the choice to remove certain people from your life. Good to hear that you found some real ones!
As a pastry chef, the culinary one, he is in the wrong, whenever my boyfriend wants to cook me something I would never think to rate his food, I only offer suggestions if he requests them. Also, I have never seen another chef tear down a loved ones food, or "rate it" I only see advice given when advice was asked in a personal setting. 🤯
The first story had me seeing red. If I was OP (granted I’m crazy), I’d pawn my wedding ring (as long as I didn’t pay for it) & use it to buy the camera ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Then divorce & wish him a “happy life with his sister.”
1st story got my blood boiling. I could never live in a house where I don't feel safe from the people I love and should trust. Yikes 😬
the fourth story irks me so much, the OP is so out of touch and I think he needs to take on his wife’s role to truly understand what she’s responsible for.
The 2nd story broke my heart. Anytime my husband got a new job he'd beg me to bring him lunch 1st day or first week. He always wanted to introduce me and get a look around the new job. I've heard my husband being teased and his first response is to lean into it and admit he's loved and likes being babied or places immediate boundaries. I'm a firm believer that a person's masculinity or femininity comes from within. You decide who you are and what you stand for. No one can take it away or define it for you. Her husband is weak willed and emotionally stunted, what an awful way to find out. In this case he needs to totally demand the respect he deserves as a grown adult. Respect is earned but everyone should be polite
Story 1: I think if the husband is that callous towards her and shows her that little of respect, there's no salvaging the relationship. Couples counseling requires both parties being willing to make an effort. If he doesn't feel that he or his sister did anything wrong, then he probably won't put in the work.
People teased my husband a little when he brought grapes taken off the vine. 😂 he and everyone else thought I did that for him but I do it because the grapes stay fresh longer lmao and I cut his food because he doesn’t always have a break room to eat in so I make it easier for him to eat it on the go.
My husband just brags about how much we love each other that I’ll do that for him 😂
The second story with the meal had me fuming... That's grounds for divorce f that. I don't think I could get pass that type of argument.
Story 2, wife is right. Co-workers are assholes, I've had co-workers who treated me worse than this and were supported by management.
You guys should do a Thanksgiving episode of family drama stories! Extremely relatable this month.
The guy stealing the girlfriend’s things is absolutely terrifying. But I also love the psychological warfare she employed.
2nd story
Man: *expects a women to be submissive and care about him*
Also Man:*Gets mad when she cares about him and comes all the way to work to give him lunch*
I love how comfy Morgan always looks on this podcast
Anyone else just waiting for when her and Justin get engaged. LOL I just think they are so cute together but really love the episodes they do together!
The way Justin said "we love the moose, but cmon" made me wheeze 😆
Justin is the best 😂
It’s always funny to me how people deal with inappropriate behavior behind close doors and are shocked when their partners do it in front of their family
25:25 I absolutely loved it when Morgan started popping off about “fragile masculinity”! Hell yes Morgan! This is the episode that made me fall in love with you!
Honestly rewatching this one, we need an episode dedicated to gaslighting or love bombing because I think it could help a lot of people
Justin is literally so smart... Just got out of a super toxic relationship with a super toxic guy and I'm not settling till I find a guy like that!!
I’m willing to be that the sister from the first story still has the camera and is just not going to give it back because it sounds like she’s stealing all of OP’s work equipment. Either that or she pawned it. Sounds like her stealing is a serious issue, maybe it’s because she’s broke or something.
lol for real! “I left it at the beach because my boyfriend upset me.” 😂
I LOVE how cozy everyone is, makes me want to go grab the fluffy blanket with some hot beverage and a snack.
From the comments in story 1 it sounds like this is an ongoing issue I don’t think he’ll agree to couples therapy and I think OP should make it couples therapy or divorce Morgan is right.
“Why is this guy so out of touch”? Because sadly Justin, most men marry/date out of convenience and were raised knowing they didn’t have to show respect to their mothers sisters and female friends. As a woman I can’t tell you how many people I’ve dated who have had the utter audacity to belittle me because I’m a woman or try to con me because I’m nice. Of course I know that actually good men do exist but honestly they are extremely rare. You have to value your partner over everyone else or what is even the point of being together? It doesn’t make any sense.
Me hearing that one story remembering everything I put on a credit card from an apartment deposit so I could stop couch hoping to grocies and gas on my credit card. Also taking massive loans during college to survive. Debt is sometimes not choice but crucial to surval
That last story hit scarily close to home. An old friend of mine were in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, I lost her as a friend before she broke it off with that guy, thankfully I know from mutual friends she eventually saw my pov. She never reached out to me or apologized tho.
The difference is, we were teenagers. Like 14 and 15 years old. However, she had like her own "apartment" in the garage, and he basically moved in with her. She had told him no, but he kept bringing more and more stuff over. He even told her what she could eat, what clothes to wear and yeah, overall he was an arse. I know for a fact tho, that he got help, he is better now, and she was pretty abusive as well. (Kind of why I don't reach out to her).
If I had a partner that rated me like I was performing or competing for their approval every time I cooked for them I’d be tempted to do the same in another area, like the bedroom perhaps. And see just how much they appreciate “constructive criticism” then. If the food you make is edible and made from the heart that’s all that matters. Food doesn’t have to be up to five star restaurant’s quality to be enjoyed, if that were true there wouldn’t be as many fast food options or “mom and pop” restaurants. If he has so many criticisms about his partners cooking maybe he should take over.
LMAO! Hilarious! Yeah, there are times and places for "critique". And it's always nice to ask if opinion is wanted. This is more about his ego.
Thank you guys for filming even though you don’t feel well! I hope you both feel better soon!! Thanks for another great episode
"Why is this guy so out of touch with everything?" made me LOL
For the first story, the sister was told no and took it no. Which is theft. I would press charges.
Last story reminds me of something my ex said in an argument once that was basically like “I’m not going to reward you for acting out” and “there should be consequences for the things you do so you don’t do them anymore.” He was 100% taking things and gaslighting and manipulating her as a “if she’s going to do what I don’t want her to, this is going to be the consequence” thing and ultimately it would build up over time to where she’s in so much distress he can be the person to console her and convince her that ‘maybe she should stay in and let him take care of her because of her declining mental health’.
I brought my husband lunch to work once when I didn't have a job yet and he proudly showed it off to all his coworkers. I was so embarrassed lol but omg that poor wife!!! What is this the twilight zone? He should be so grateful for her.
Edit: HOW DO THESE PEOPLE EXIST!
The story at 20:00 KILLS me. My mom is a teacher for high school science and one thing my dad did to make her feel appreciated was to make and bring her lunch whenever he could. There were times where she would come home and gush about how jealous her coworkers were that she gets home cooked meals brought to her by her husband almost daily. Food, a drink, AND a smoothie. How can you NOT see an act of love in that?
The bar for men is literally on the floor and this man in the reddit story KICKS it.
I feel so blessed getting 3 full episodes this week😌😌😌
19min in and already 2strikes. 1st story, take the sil to court and leave the husband. Neither respect you and your husband doesn't protect you. 2nd story, the men are children and the husband is as insecure as his co workers. They were jealous that he has someone that cares enough to bring him lunch and he fed into the Bs and berated his wife because his feelings were hurt. He has no backbone so he took it out on his thoughtful wife. Y'all are adults, act like it. I'll take his lunch if he doesn't want it. Losers, both of them
I'm a culinary chef and a pastry chef all I want to say about that one story is that I'm just very appreciative when finally people cook for me cuz usually since I'm the chef in the family I'm always cooking for other people so why isn't he just appreciating when someone finally cooks for him
Morgan you’re right on, my husband is a chef and NEVER cooks dinner lol I cook all the meals for the most part. He never comments on my food, honestly I critique his cooking more then he does mine 😂
The money story is just riddled with misogyny - the idea that his wife had a "relapse" and can't be trusted with money. Having credit card debt doesn't make you an addict - that is a super classist take. The fact that he doesn''t know about or is involved in his Kids birthdays and doesnt contribute to holidays or events and that she does everything by herself. The idea of potentially now having to do all this work for his kids makes him nervous because he actually knows nothing about them. I hate how common this dynamic is.
I absolutely love this podcast, I'm addicted. That last story is awesome to alert everyone on how abusive people act.
Second story: OP is not angry at his wife. I mean, he is, but that is a reaction to his feelings of embarrassment and vulnerability. OP is using anger to avoid those other feelings.
I love holiday decorations and cheer. Thanks for another great video guys.
I have been single my whole life but after seeing sooo many of your podcasts on relationships, I know what a good relationship should be like and would be kind of on alert about these red flags. Also it's gonna lead me to make my relationship healthy whenever I have one
Hope you find a happy and healthy relationship ❤
@@Crybabycry884 thank you🥺🥺💖
for the first story I feel like the moment the wife takes the sister to court the relationship with her husband is over, so it’s not so easy to simply sue them
Would that be so bad though? Boundaries are clearly being stomped on by both the sister AND the husband who should be her partner in life and take her side when she's being wronged. As Justin said, situations like that only show the cracks of what's truly lying beneath and how flimsy the foundations of that relationship are.
Both husband and sister just expected that woman to sit there and be okay with the camera being STOLEN (bc that's what it was, taken without her consent) and then lost, and on top of that these people wanted HER to replace it? Then give her the cold shoulder and emotionally manipulate her into feeling guilty about reacting at all, when she's the one being wronged here! It's the fight with the sister's boyfriend all over again: she broke something out of immaturity and then expected people to not be mad at her, then when they were, she just gave them silence expecting them to feel guilty enough to excuse her behavior eventually.
Both husband and sister are doing to OP what was done to sister's boyfriend in the first place. There's clearly a pattern there and if you ask me, if OP needs to take this to court only for masks to fall off and realize she married into a family of narcissists so be it! It's better she realizes now than in 20 years when things will just get worse and messier.
@@LeilaleilaZ I personally think she should leave him so I agree with you 100%, but it’s also important to recognize that it’s easier for us to come to that consensus because we are third parties.
The aim of my comment was just to point out to morgan (-who is literally my spirit animal lol) that it’s hard for the people experiencing it first hand to get out of toxic situations since she usually first on the band wagon to take drastic action (divorce, court, breakup, etc).
If her marriage is over it is because of he husband not protecting OP and her property then emotionally abusing her by stonewalling her. OP needs to decide if this is the life she wants. Is she going to have boundaries or not. Because if she does nothing it will only get worse. He husband’s treatment of her is not ok. If he truly loved her he would care that he is hurting her.
@@dontknowwhattoputhere5043 oh yeah absolutely lol it's insanely easy to speak on what should be done when there are no feelings involved but that's also the good thing about a third party opinion. It's an objective point of view and as an objective observer I would advice that, and insist that it wouldn't be a bad thing for a relationship where boundaries are not respected and the person is being emotionally manipulated into submission from the people who are wrong in this situation to end. At the end of the day it's OPs decision to make and it sure as hell won't be as easy as "therapy or divorce" because things much more complicated than just feelings, even, are involved. But I hope she takes the decision that's best for her. She's clearly not comfortable in the position she has been put and as the person above me says, is this the life she wants? If it starts with a 2k dollar camera that's your means of work being swept under the rug what's next? Where does it end? I really feel for OP
Ah you and Justin are so precious! I’m so glad y’all are with each other.
I like having Justin on cuz he can give a man’s perspective on these kind of topics and he’s very level headed. We woman are like DIVORCE!! But I’m this case it’s not the first time and she got a lock cuz of the problems but this relationship isn’t gonna change. Seems like he thinks he and his sister are about themselves!! RUN!! Sorry but seriously.
Camera replacement fund? How about a divorce fund? There are deeper problems in that marriage!
I would run if someone tried to control my money. This lady and her kids need to get out. Her husband’s control over the money will never change.
3 storied in and I am just so sick of these DUDES omg I am so thankful im in a committed relationship and don't have to deal with these kind of men. Good God
Listening to this from Mexico, you complete my week! :)
The last story makes me think of the bullet I dodged in 2021. A man 13 years my senior (I was 27) love bombed me after he and I hung out almost weekly and got to know each other for about 6 months. I was so smitten with him. I got pregnant a couple months into the relationship, and he admitted to doing it on purpose. I didnt care bc I was ready to be a mom but I miscarried at 2 months. Any time I had expressed discomfort within the relationship, it never went well. When I told him I needed more comfort from him after I had miscarried, he flipped and acted like I was the one not being loving and affectionate. This caused an argument that went nowhere so I went to my gfs the next day to vent and get emotional comfort from her. The next day he heard I drank a few shots and flipped shit (despite him being an addict and currently relapsing at the time). I was so over it when he refused to talk to me in person, only through text, despite just having moved into my house not even a week before that. I told him maybe he moved in too soon, so he gave me my key, despite him having a key months before he moved in. That was my final straw. I couldn't handle his lack of willingness to understand me. I'm so thankful he showed his true colors and that it ended, even if it ended horribly, despite the years its taken me to get over. Not to mention, 8 months later he was offocially dating another 27 year old that I had gone to highschool with back in the day. I knew a pregnancy announcement would come soon and sure enough, he got her pregnant quicker than he got me pregnant (a month into their relationship instead of 2). The day she gave birth he messaged me to ask how I was. Idk if he was trying to cause drama in his relationship or rub it in my face or what. I didnt respond, despite wanting to ask how his pregnant wife is as a response. I constantly hope he treats her well - I hate to think he's abusing her emotionally the way he did me, but I would be surprised if he's changed much, if at all, in the past 2 years. Its hard to catch the signs when they make you feel so great in the beginning. My heart goes out to anyone going through this. Its tough to recover from and dramatically changes how you view and participate relationships.
There was another update on the gaslighter one. He started stalking her, calling her work, hanging outside her apartment, calling her mom and friends and saying she had a mental breakdown.. Even leaving notes outside her door with a flame drawn on them. She had to move out and get a restraining order, but is approved to study abroad so is happy about that.
1:05:45.....RUN. That woman is a saint, and I hope smart enough to leave. He does not even realize how toxic he is and how controlling his behavior is... Actually he does know, he just wants someone to validate his behavior and pity him. Disgusting, she deserves respect and a good partner, he is not it.
The first one baffled me with the husband’s response. I work an office job and if my man let his situation borrow something from work and then lost it, I would be so livid with that response. She should sue them both and then get another key and hide it some both of them if she doesn’t want to divorce him. As for the husband enabling the sister, I don’t think he is in love with her as some comments say but I know as the younger sibling, sometimes you get away with more. My moms youngest sister is still the same way and she is in her late 30’s or early 40’s. Either way, the sister will not change and he will always enable her.