Honestly the girl in the second story, I don't think she's an asshole at all I think she's human. She put so much into this relationship and this person she loved only to have to watch him finally be the person she deserved but for someone else. She doesn't even really get to move on from that pain because they have kids together. She has to watch, daily, some other woman effortlessly live the life she probably tore herself apart trying to one day have with him. Honestly I feel for her. I'll add that from a personal perspective the fear of this exact thing happening is what kept me with an abusive addict for a while (and I think it keeps a lot of people in horrible relationships) and if my ex ever expected ANY type of emotional support after the hell he put me though I can promise my reaction would be far more volatile than this. I was lucky enough to be able to completely detach at least. A luxury poor OP here doesn't have.
Also where the hell was his empathy when her grandmother LITERALLY died??? His wife was in surgery, not dead. You can't treat someone like trash and be abusive because you have an addiction and then expect the person you did that to, to be your emotional support ex. Seriously. Also I'm glad his girlfriend is his only reason to live.... I guess all those humans he made don't mean anything huh? He has what 3 kids now? They're not worth living for? Okay 🙄
My mum had cancer (She passed away) my parents were married for 38 years. My mum joked to my dad if you want to trade me in now you should. Because she joked when she was 50 about him trading her in for two 25 years olds. She was now 57 and asking dad is he wanted to leave her. His response was "That's crazy I would never trade you in if anything I love you even more for what you have to go through." bless my parents. Miss you Mum 💖
I feel awful for the son in hospice. If my mother explained that the way she did in the post, I would spend the last days of my life thinking it was my fault, and that my dying split up my family.
Never cried watching a THT episode until the last story, that left me here bawling .. I sincerely hope one day he will suffer and find his loved ones "disgusted" of him, absolutely heartbreaking 💔😞
With that mother daughter one, Morgan mentioned how at 13 we start rebelling from our parents. it’s funny because I grew up CONSTANTLY fighting my mom as a child. I had NO relationship with either of my parents until my freshman year when I realized how lonely and isolated I was. I had absolutely no friends. My brother was a stranger to me. And I rarely ever said hi or bye to my parents. I was fourteen and remember just slowly taking steps to talk to my mom more because once my depression, anxiety, and ED started, she was the only one helping me get out of bed each morning. The only one softly and silently taking care of me when I’d cry myself to sleep. After all the fighting and me thinking she probably resented having a girl, she was the only one stoically laying at my side. It’s like even after all the times I told her I wish I wasn’t born or that I hated her, she still fought for me. Even now it makes my heart squeeze lol I’m 22 now and my mom and I are pretty inseparable and I actually talk to my dad a lot too. I just thought it was funny/sweet how I kind of went backwards haha
The last story made me sick to my stomach. My mom had breast cancer, a mastectomy, and to this day she feels ‘gross’ and like nobody could ever love or be attracted to her. She has an awful husband who before the cancer said he ‘just wasn’t attracted to her’ because she’s overweight. My mom is absolutely beautiful and the most incredible, strong woman I have ever met and it is my dream that she finds a person who adores and loves her the way she deserves. I truly hope the woman and child in the last story are able to find someone who loves them like that as well beyond physicality. I truly believe that if something like this makes you lose interest in someone, you never loved them to begin with. Love conquers all and it breaks my heart to know that people like this man exist. Literally just fuck that guy on every level I hope he burns in hell before he says a word to her. I also do NOT think he should tell her his ‘truth’ because it would be devastating to know you married such a shallow, despicable human. I’m so angry lol this hit close to home.
@@pinkopat Thank you my love ☺️ my mom is still in the relationship but she’s been focusing on herself and I’m really proud of her for how far she’s come. She is cancer free at this time which is a blessing on it’s own ❤️ thank you so much for your kind words! Sending all the good vibes your way.
@@coniwiiuwu5578 it’s a type of abuse in which a parents looks to their child for the emotional support that would otherwise be provided by another adult. they may treat their child like a romantic partner
@@noelle-p7m emotional incest also applies to anyone who is related, actually. Siblings, cousins, etc. Parent and child are just the most talked about because they’re arguably the weirdest lol
I watched my mom die from cancer, I can't even imagine looking at someone you love suffer and all you can feel is disgust. That man never truly loved his partner. My mom and dad were divorced for years before she was diagnosed and he still cared for her and cried by her side throughout it all. That guy is actually evil.
I don't have a significant other, though I am a single mom of 2 boys (12 & 8), but the last story got me. I was just recently diagnosed with dcis breast cancer in December. I'm only 37, & just lost my mom to the same demon back this past April too. I will be having a mastectomy in a month, though hopefully won't have to have radiation or chemo. I love you girls. You're so genuine, & I love how I can see that from your responses. You're podcasts have been getting me through these dark, hard days & I wanted you to know that. I love you girls, you're beautiful inside & out!! 💓🩷💗🫶🏻
I'm also in absolute shock by the dickhole in that story. Are u fn kidding me? He absolutely disgusts me. That is just absolutely disgusting & I hope he steps on Legos 🤷🏽♀️ Karma is a bitch. Hands down. He'll get his one day ladies!!! 😅
the “boundary” story i was like YELLING at my tv. the way my therapist describes boundaries is how you build your relationships with others. it’s not a punishment. also lauren was spot on boundaries are not beyond critical thought lol but like using a boundary to control another persons behavior is by definition not a boundary
That last story breaks my heart, she's going through one of the most difficult forms of illness and he wants to leave because she's "ugly" to him AND then to add the fact he may want to leave his child? He definitely was 100% okay until she lost her hair. Honestly what a prick. Some people have such a lack of awareness for the fortunate life they live that there only worry is if they should divorce their sick wife because they're unattractive and then potentially want to leave their child, to live in that ignorance must be bliss. I hope he leaves her and that she meets someone 100000 times better to spend her life with.
The talk with narcissism and if it's a 'bad word' is tricky. You can be narcissistic without being a narcissist. You can be depressed without having depression (as a diagnosable illness).
hi morgan you probably won’t see this, but THT has changed my mindset on so many things! i am a very closed off person and have trouble getting close to others, but watching you, your group of friends, boyfriend and family inspires me and makes me want to put myself out there to create new friendships and get closer to others. i always enjoy listening to the podcast and hearing your guys takes!! keep it up
That last story…. I wish that man the worst. She gon survive and thrive with her daughter and I hope she never lets that fool back in their lives again because mark my words he will regret it and try to come back and I hope he never gets a chance to be blessed by their presence ever again and I hope all the disgusting words he wrote replays in his mind and makes him sick til his last pathetic dying breath….. love when the trash takes itself out
For the second story, I want to try being more empathetic and I think in her mind, she hasn't moved on from the emotional/verbal abuse she experienced from him whilst he was going through a heavy addiction and when she experienced death herself, he was very cold-hearted and so in that moment she probably snapped and returned the same energy he had always given her for 7 years. She went through so much with him, to now probably never have gotten an apology and him not acknowledging all that she did for him, and all the pain he caused her. But I also think, after cooling down, she should have acknowledged her own wrongs in that situation and she needs to apologise and just move on from that past pain and bitterness.
As a therapist, the first woman is not a narcissist. What she is doing is selfish and having a lack of insight, but I would caution throwing the word narcissist around without clear clinical knowledge. Just because someone has shitty behavior doesn't mean they have a clinical disorder.
The story about the 15 year old being “mean” to her mom that was crying to her about not getting a kiss from her dad, she isn’t the asshole. Her mom is using her as a therapist or friend to talk about her marriage with her CHILD. I have grown up with a mom like this and it’s so toxic and because while the mom has every right to be upset that does not mean she has the right to use her kid to dump her marital problems. My bf has has the same and he came to recent his dad until I pointed out that his dad is feeling the same yet worse because he doesn’t have anyone to talk to and knows that his mom is talking about their problems to him to turn him against his dad. I think it’s very mature for the OP 15 year old to tell her mom to stop, granted she didn’t do it the best way, but she’s 15 and doesn’t know how to set that boundary. You both spoke about boundries and this boundary of telling your parents you aren’t their friends or therapist because you are older is the hardest one-from personal experience. My mom did the same thing to my siblings and I- she had a baby when I was 10 and didn’t tell anyone until she came home with him. I then had to go from being the youngest to not in a few mins and then had to raise my brother because my parents were so busy. AND she did it again when I almost turned 22 by giving us another baby brother and not telling us to try and fix her marital problems. I don’t know the situation with the OP parent’s marriage but it almost feels like this was a similar situation. The OP has EVERY right to also feel resentment about the situation and grow through her feelings especially with the new hormones and not have the added stress of her mom dumping her problems onto her
I had a guy friend tell me something similar about not being attracted to sick girls. I thought it was terribly insensitive. He's gotten married and had a kid now and he's a really good dad.
Totally disagree about the second story. That girl does not even owe him the time of day if it is not about their children! He abused her, stole from her, and where was his empathy/sympathy when her grandmother died. No abuse victim has to give their abuser the time of day! She stuck with him through a lot and probably begged him to treat her how he treats his wife. So no she’s not the ah! He doesn’t get to emotionally dump on her.
My gf's 14 year old daughter had a stroke. The hospital insisted she was "faking it for attention" for 19 hours. They would not give her medication to help the blood clot. She ended up brain damage that could have been avoided. She had to learn to walk again. It was years of rehab. All because they refused to believe her.
It's a part of rocket man, I don't know if someone else already said it, but that's the lyric from the song that's sticking out to you that she's singing but it's from one of his older songs.
With the pregnant sister in law she was definitely looking for a reason to cut off OP’s family and keep them away. Way overreacting for nothing and stress isnt as big of a factor as first time moms make it out to be.
I always felt safer arguing with my mom than I did with my dad. I never doubted that my mom would still love me if we fought, but I was always terrified of disappointing my dad
No one should be supportive for exes if they don t want to. I don t talk to my exes. Maybe just me - but I don t talk to them, what was was. What is now is not. Second story - not the ah. Should have handled it maybe different - my ex would never call me to tell me smth like this even though we have a child together. I have set clear boundaries
I’m so conflicted on the second story. I can relate to her on how she was loyal and supportive to someone after all the shit they put her thru but I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that someone’s life was literally at stake and she brushed it off to talk about school photos. Like how shallow can you be? Yes it must hurt that he changed for someone else and not you and it probably hurt her even more that they were pregnant as well. I know she’s hurt but what she did was petty. Yes he was abusive to her in the past and she doesn’t owe him anything not even comfort, but the least she could’ve done was calmly hang up without mentioning photos or bringing up the fact that her relationship was more important than theirs and just let him deal with his own emotions in that moment. She really made it about herself and that’s so disgusting. Yes when her family member died he wasn’t there and he wasn’t supportive and that hurt her, but I feel like she is essentially doing the same thing to him after she knows how bad it hurt her. Idk. She doesn’t owe him anything but the gf has nothing to do with that, her life was at stake and it’s not her fault what he did to you.
nah second story, imo; there’s a reason you’re alone in this situation and no one showed up for you… that’s why you actually treat ppl with decency BEFORE you need help like that’s basically using your history as manipulation when yk damn well you’ve never showed up for them in the same severity. I wouldn’t ask about the money but I wouldn’t pretend like I care to rekindle a bad flame.
Just FYI, the op for the instagram post story updated and it's so much worse. The SIL and her brother sent her mom awful messages, while she was still feeling bad, blaming her for "trying to make things about her". Later they invited her mom to see the newborn baby but op has decided to remain no contact with brother and SIL until they apologize, especially about the way they treated the mom while she was unwell
The first story was infuriating The one with the mom crying just made me so sad. Girl is 15 and can’t cook for herself, yet tells her mom to grow up. 😊
2:00 Rocket Man has a line “I’m not the man they think I am at home” and it sadly summarizes a ton of Reddit stories 😂. P.S./FUN FACT: my kids know LAUV’s father. 🎶 Would love to hear Justin’s song!
I work at an arena and within a couple months I heard both Elton John sing Cold Heart live with Dua Lipa on track and Dua Lipa song it with Elton on track lol
That last one sent me! I listen to alot of podcast about alot of things have have on many occasions cried or been happy or even upset! But this is honestly the first time I have been legit mad! I do feel bad for the mother but I'm fully raged about the child!
To tell your child that you cheated because caring for them was too stressful, no matter how old they are it will develop a complex within them. It is not ok to look anyone let alone your own child in the eyes and essentially say “I cheated because you’re too much for me to handle” the son should be told about the relationship but the father should do it. Not the mother that is disgusting
My grandma had a stroke in 2022 and the gave her that medicine and it made her brain bleed then she couldn’t do anything and a tear and 5 months later she passed 🤦🏽♀️😞😞
Use whatever insults you want I love you guys but you have to stop enabling the “triggered” mentality. It’s not your job to protect everyone’s feelings. It’s our job to deal and move on. If someone’s offended by Pansy everyone’s turning into pussies it’s too much 😂 I’m not saying go off the rails and be offensive but just say whatever you want if you’re censoring who you are then what’s the point of having a personality at all.
"dark humor" isn't real when you joke about OTHER people's trauma and at someone else's expense. I know people use dark humor for coping but that is when it is their OWNNNNN trauma. dark humor is an excuse to hide behind for most people.
I don't think she still liked him. I think it's rather that she took his addiction phase and then this random girl got him to get better when she was there that whole time and he was terrible. I think it's more she feels cheated. Then to hear him say that felt like a slap. Although her behavior was out right heartless.
For the ill son story....sometimes ignorance is bliss. He's obviously in his last days, maybe weeks, and the last thing he wants to know is his mom cheated and is blackmailing his dad to stay with her. Then again, a woman like her doesn't care what others get out of it (emotional trauma/stress) she only cares what she gets...not a divorce! Such a monster and I feel awful for the husband!
Exactly! And he’s obviously old enough to know and understand. I went through a divorce right before my son went on hospice and then passed away. My ex made everything miserable because of how selfish he was. I’ll never forgive him for making my sons last day worse than they needed to be.
I feel sorry for the son too. Imagine being in his position, knowing that your parents will divorce and the family will fall apart once you pass. I would feel sick to my stomach.
Also, "wanting to be honest" with their son is clearly bs, because otherwise why would she say "oh, but I won't tell him if my husband promises not to divorce me"? Is "being honest" important to her or not? Make it make sense.
@@catbeara The "being honest" is her leaving out the affair and saying that the husband wants a divorce due to *insert reason to shift blame on hubby here*
@@kaveh.. while it does usually stem from trauma, yes it should be demonized. Those with a narcissistic personality should be avoided. It doesnt matter why they are narcissistic.
@@kaveh.. We're demonising the people who refuse to address their issues and seek help, not those who have it but really want to change. What we AREN'T going to do is give excuses.
I was diagnosed with MS in 2019 in the hospital. My partner stuck by my side every day of my treatment, fed me, showered me, and held me as I learned to walk again. Not once did I ever consider that he would leave me. Unfortunately, I was told many stories where women with MS are abandoned by their male partners because they instantly lose attraction. It breaks my heart to hear this, I don't know what I would have done without my partner. I proposed to him a month later, I knew he was the one.
All I can say about that guy is Karma will come back for him and he will end up with a worse illness ALONE! The fact that he doesn’t even know if he wants to keep contact with his child is ridiculous. What does he think is going to happen if his wife dies? Is he not going to step up to take responsibility for her? He has made up his mind about leaving and now sees himself as a free single man with nobody to have to take responsibility for…disgusting attitude. And him saying he will support the wife/child for a year? I hope she takes everything from him!
My mom has ms and she is 47 almost 48 this year, after she had me she couldn't have anymore kids and her health declined. It was like a roller coasters of emotions for my family. About 2 years ago she was at her lowest, ruptured brain anuresume, stroke and she survived it all. She is still with us and has all mobility and such like before. Just understandably her memory isn't great. I'm saying this to tell you and maybe others that there are men out there who will stick like glue even when health declines! My parents have been married for almost 30 years!
i kinda disagree on the story about the ex whose wife was dying. if someone abused you, you don't owe them empathy. not because they don't deserve empathy in general but because it's not anyone's responsibility to give emotional support to their abuser. of course he deserves support and understanding, but emotionally dumping onto someone you abused isn't okay and she shouldn't be expected to care for him emotionally. with that said, she could've been honest and straightforward about how she felt instead of hanging up on him. i would've said something like "i'm sorry you're going through this and i hope your wife is okay, but considering our past, i don't have the emotional capacity to be here for you on such a heavy subject and you need to find someone else to talk about this with. if you can't talk about the school pictures right now, i'll call back later."
Agreed, she shouldn't be expected to help him but asking about photos and hanging up isn't a thing you should do to anyone going through something this scary! I'd say something along the lines you said and ask them to call a friend or close family. Both of them suck in this scenario at least a little bit
See I thought this too till she got upset now her ex only wants to talk to her about the kids, like what did she expect. I agree she didn’t owe him empathy but she can’t expect him to ever show empathy back after that
I think they are both right sort of. She doesn't owe him a shoulder to cry on. Also, he should probably only talk to her about the kids. That's really the only productive conversation they are going to have. I would've said call someone else and I'll talk to you about our kids later.
The one about the MIL who had a stroke at the baby shower, it sounds to me like the wife was looking for a way to oust the husband’s family for a loooooong time and just jumped on this opportunity to do it. There’s no way she got that offended about missing her baby shower for a medical emergency. She saw her opening to be angry and force that side of the family out and she took it.
My husbands mom is the same way. She loves making passive aggressive social media posts and I just ignored them until she made one about our wedding. She basically made me look like a huge asshole and drew a lot of attention to the fact that my mom and dads family took pictures separately. Because they are divorced. I confronted her about the post and how the way she framed it made me feel very hurt and she basically said I was starting drama for no reason. She had been baiting me for years for the chance to say "don't you see how your horrible girlfriend is so mean to me???" but when she did it blew up in her face because husband sided with me 🙄
Absolutely and there are so many other jokes he could’ve made if he was so desperate to be funny. When I heard the first part of the joke I thought he was going to say “hope they fit” or something in terms of the dad wearing them, but he went wayyyyy left field. Also I don’t think there is ANY sane parent in the world who would think a “joke” about their kid dying would be even remotely funny
@@Tori.S. seriously. That’s why I can’t deal with people with “dark humor” almost everyone I’ve met who makes those kinds of jokes is doing it to disguise the fact that they’re just a bad person
@@miajanay9161 I'm not defending the op at all in that story but I want to point out dark humor is not making fun of dark things or other people to get a laugh dark humor is making fun of your own issues and things you personally went through in a way that isn't attacking or mocking other people its a coping mechanism for trauma usually and while I can understand not everyone liking it please don't discount people who use it for themselves as long as they aren't hurting others
Speaking as someone with narc traits, it does irritate me a bit to hear people refer to narcissists so much - but it's not the implication itself (that someone in the situation is a narcissist) that offends me, instead it's the inevitable bullshit medical-babble description that comes. "Karen is a narcissist." Fine. "Karen is a narcissist. The narcissist always does (blank) and seeks to (blank) in order to (blank)" that kind of BS gets on my nerves because at that point what they're really describing is abusers and bullies. Referring to narcissists as this archetype and ascribing exact behaviours to them, to me just sounds like astrology.
Definitely a harsh take on the second story. As someone who has many addicts in my life, predominantly my mother, it is HEART BREAKING to seem them do better and be better for someone else. I have always said that my mother brings out a side of me that no one else sees. I get volatile and cruel, but she made me that way. I imagine it is the same for the woman in the second story. To be called by someone who caused you trauma and heartbreak and for them to ask for comfort or empathy is such a slap in the face. She's not the asshole, but it could have been handled differently.
I think its unwise that we keep perpetuating the notion that victims owe anything to their abusers. She didn't owe him anything after all of the years of abuse he put her through. Sure, maybe it can be seen as cold-hearted, but justly deserved. She has been decent enough to co-parent with him for the sake of her children, why should she be expected to comfort the man that brought her such pain?
She shouldn’t be expected to comfort him but come on. She needed to have read the room and just been like “ok. I’m not comfortable with this. We can talk about this at a better time” rather than “I don’t give a shit about your girlfriend and child possibly dying you need to give me money.” OP doesn’t give a shit about a woman who’s done literally nothing to her except date OP’s ex. Having been abused doesn’t give you the excuse to be a shitty person.
@@bridi0821 I think the part you’re missing is that she didn’t say all that on the phone to him. All she said on the phone to him was, look, I’m calling about our kids, I’m focusing on the kids we share, and I called about this specific thing. HE was the one who kept going on about the love of his life. Then she hung up on him. In explaining WHY she hung up on him she elaborated on the fact that the woman had just had a baby, and a difficult pregnancy. And honestly, if that’s how she feels, THAT might seem heartless to some, but she kept it to herself at least. Just like she kept the jealousy bit to herself. It was her ex having emotional vomit of the mouth on the phone. I don’t think she’s a shitty person at all. She’s a person who was ABUSED by the person she was on the phone with, and probably still needs therapy to help her process her feelings around it and to even determine if it’s healthy for her to coparent with him at all. I’m sorry, in the heat of the moment of emergency, I’m not staying on the phone about it with my ex unless it’s about the son we share. Otherwise, I hang up and call MY support system. He wasn’t the one in the ER for injury, he could have easily been emotionally self aware enough to hang up on his ex, and even had he given no explanation that would have been fine! And would not have been an ahole move. But, that’s my opinion, and if people want to see it as an ahole opinion, so be it. You don’t expend ANY emotional bandwidth on an abuser IMO.
@Sha 259 I completely agree. I get where they are coming from saying set your feelings aside in this moment to be there for him but that isn't always feasible. As someone that has always tried to set aside what I'm feeling in order to be there for others it has really taken its toll. I honestly now if in OPs situation would have done something similar. It may be selfish or cold-hearted but sometimes that has to be done. It seemed like OP needed to deal with the thoughts and feelings that came up for her before she could be of any real help to him. There seems to be a lot of unresolved stuff for OP.
@@sha2596 Have you ever met a person having a crisis? Have you ever sat in the waiting room of a hospital while someone has a loved one in the ER for an emergency/in surgery. People will talk to the first person who interacts with them so they don’t explode. Just like how OP is human for being bitter, her ex is human for wanting to talk to ANYONE while waiting for his parents. No one’s saying she had to coddle him. She literally just had to say “I’m sorry. It looks like this isn’t a good time. We’ll talk about this some other day” (because she has every right to not want to deal with the emotions of someone who abused her) rather than being like “listen. I know you’re having an emergency, but pay me for OUR CHILDREN’S SCHOOL PICTURES.” What person would put a family emergency above children’s pictures? I’d understand if their kids were in the hospital, but they weren’t. You state that OP’s ex could have been emotionally stable enough to hang up when OP was arguably in a better headspace. Also, OP literally gets mad when her ex says he’ll only talk to her about the kids. Why? It seems entitled to tell your ex “I don’t care about your personal life” and then get mad when they do the same. Again, OP isn’t the asshole for being bitter. She is the asshole for not reading the room. Saying “we can talk about this when you aren’t having a family emergency” isn’t emotional bandwidth
"People with dark humor always have the worst jokes" Hot Take: Dark humor isn't bad- People who feel the need to repeatedly proclaim their dark sense of humor don't actually have a dark sense of humor, they just find it amusing to say offensive and horrible things to see the look on their faces.
I agree 99% of the time when my dark humor comes out it is towards my own traumas and with people who know me. Timing is everything with that type of humor and a baby shower isn't the time or place.
I mean, I use humor to cope with my own trauma so I would say I have something similar to a dark sense of humor, I don't just go around spewing offensive shit.
Agreed. I dont know if my humor would be dark, but I can appreciate actual dark jokes. But this wasn’t even a joke. It was “your baby might die lol” there wasn’t a punchline.
The way I see it is dark humor is self-deprecating and/or based on your experiences. It is taking your shot at yourself or making a joke out of a tragedy that you endured. If the joke is at someone else's expense it is not dark humor it is you being an a******
I don't think the baby mama of the school pics story handled the phone call well, BUT why should she be her abuser's emotional support system? It sounded like she has a trauma bond to him and is confusing it with love. But, from y'alls take, it sounded like you wanted her to be there for him when he litterally was an asshole to her for YEARS. For him to even have access to her is her being a saint.
Girl what? They have kids together so he HAS to have access to her for instances that involve their kids. And he wasn’t even the one to call her. She called him to talk about the photos while he was in a crisis situation and then CONTINUED to ask him for money after he told what happened. No sympathy for a woman who’s done nothing to her but get with her ex. She could have just told him she’d call back later. Being in an abusive relationship doesn’t automatically give you the right to be a shitty person. OP didn’t owe him any emotional support but she was just a shitty person because she was bitter. Granted, she has every right to be bitter but jeez…she was cold hearted.
@@bridi0821 i disagree. If she took him to court while the abuse of drugs and physical, emotional, and mental abuse was still happening he could of been revoked of his rights as a parent. But, my comment ab him having access to her I meant emotionally accessible. If he felt comfortable enough to call her, the woman he abused, instead of his parents who were on their way, then there's a problem.
@@jordyfrancis1264 but he didn’t call her. She called him about the pictures first. He didn’t seek her out for comfort. She literally could have just said “we can talk about this later” when she noticed he was freaking out. She doesn’t owe him support but she needed to have just hung up instead of continuing her questioning. Most people don’t think “hey. Should I really be venting my feelings out to this person” when they’re having a crisis situation. OP was the one with the clearer head in the beginning and should have just told him she’d call back later
@@jordyfrancis1264 ya. Like. No one’s saying she doesn’t have the right to be bitter. She does. But there’s a time and place for saying shit like “I don’t care about your personal life” and the time is not “in the middle of this person’s mental breakdown”
Ummm for the second story, did you guys miss out on the part where HE wasn’t there for HER? When her family member was at risk to die, but she’s automatically supposed to be there for HER ABUSER. I love this podcast but this take was totally not it. She didn’t owe him sh*t in my opinion. Also, if she needed to put all her feelings away and support him, where was he? Why didn’t he support her? This take was totally off base for me, he manipulated and abused her and then decided to basically rub it in her face that he got better for another woman, and expected her to be there and listen to him? Heck no I would’ve hung up immediately as well.
I totally agree as well, I also don’t think she’s still in love with Pete but when you get out of an abusive relationship it’s hard to get over and feelings get stuck! I think she could’ve handled it better, by telling him she can’t be there for him in this way, but her feelings are valid.
The mother is under the impression that her son will side with her by default because "hubby is breaking up the family" but not condemn her for having an affair that drove her husband to leave in the first place
that woman was probably gonna paint her own narrative to get her son on her side anyways and poison him against the father by placing all the blame on him. I wouldn't put it past her to hide the affair
I’d bet my entire paycheck that the “manipulation” from the neighbor was her believing that they wanted to be with her and that was the only reason she was fine with the divorce at first.
When your parents divorce while you’re a healthy college student, divorce is painful. Who the f would tell that dying man that his parents are divorcing?
That woman was IRREDEEMABLE. “Narcissist” was absolutely the right word to use on her… she just wants to exploit her son’s last days on Earth to spin her little web and try to get him on her side. If she ruined his final days like that, I can only hope that he did indeed stick to the “but you cheated though” line of thinking.
I’m getting creepy ‘I have a crush on my friend and using my donation for her baby is the closest I’ll get to sleeping with her’ vibes from the third story
I never thought of that, but it makes too much sense! I can see from a logical perspective why the husband thought “don’t ask don’t tell” but he didn’t even tell OP nor to talk about it! Either way it’s messed up.
Yeeeah same especially because he didn't tell his wife. Just screams "I can reproduce with her this way inatead and get off knowing I impregnanted her'...maybe men don't think like that but it screams that imo.
I wanna hear an episode about roommates ahhh I’m currently in an abusive relationship with my college roommate and feel as though it needs to be talked about more :/
Here for this!! I have had sooo many horrible roommate situations and I refuse to do it again. Also, I’m sorry you’re going through that Tamia. I hope you get peace, space and healing soon!
It’s very understated that abusive relationships can be non romantic. Roommates and friends can also be VERY abusive I’m sorry you’re dealing with that
in the sperm donor one i feel like her friend has some creepy thing for her because i just dont understand why else he would orchestrate this situation the way he did... like it was his idea, he kept it secret from the wife, then played dumb... im sry but no one is that dumb
I reckon he gets off on the fact that his seed is in his female friend, and that she will be bearing his children. Like some sick fantasy come true. Imagine of he and his wife decided that thwy wanted more children, so she got her really hot male friend to donate his spem in secret, go to the clinic, get preggers, and then tell her husband that the baby is from a donor. Oops~ Imagine! And her excuse was just, "well I wanted very cute babies and I needed his genetics~" It would never fly.
The fact that he abused her, stole money from her, and refused to drive her anywhere when her grandma died while supporting him through a meth addiction makes me not feel any sympathy for him. After everything he’s put her through he has some nerve dumping his problems on her like that. Why should she comfort him when he couldn’t give her that same respect when her grandmother died? The VICTIM should not be blamed for not being there for her ABUSER. Morgan and Lauren’s take on this really disappointed me😕
Toootally agree. His parents were on their way. He should not have thought to go to OP for anything given what he put her through. She was harsh but who wouldn’t be?
I 100% agree. It's very disappointing when Morgan first said what she did, as she had addressed saying things that imply that the victim is to blame. I'm just glad that the conversation went deeper than the initial comments made.
For the story with the ex fiancé with dying wife, I’m sorry, it’s understandable why she reacted the way she did. She wasn’t right, but this man hurt her and expected empathy when he gave her little. They’re both very petty people. Imagine saying that sort of thing to your ex fiancé while you verbally and emotionally abused, that someone else was your reason for being.
She wasn’t even dying. She was just in the ER for bleeding. Not every ER case is life threatening. Hanging up on him was honestly fine. But she needs to get some therapy to get past and move on from her past with him as an addict. This guy is not the guy that she had a relationship with. She doesn’t need to feel jealous of this new girl.
@@sha2596 even though she might not have died, it likely was a life or death situation if she was bleeding extensively as had to go to the ER after birth. This just happened to a woman at my mom’s hospital and she sadly did not make it. My friend was in a similar situation a few months ago and had to have emergency surgery to get her uterus removed. It is very scary regardless.
@@BRhymesss Where was his empathy when her grandmother ACTUALLY died????? She's doesn't owe him anything besides being a civil co-parent. You don't get to abuse people just because you're an addict and then turn around and demand they be your emotional support person.
@@Milkymommy09 while i agree that he was clearly abusive in their past bc of his addiction i don’t think b rhymes was really trying to defend him. pregnancy complications are scary and oftentimes a small thing can lead to big problems and i think that’s all they were trying to say
Story 4 - sounds like the sister better start "setting a boundary" with her lazy ass brother by ripping him a new one for starts. Who TF lets their WIFE talk to their SISTER AND MOTHER AND FATHER like that when their Mother had a stroke?!?!?!!!!
You can tell you guys have never been in a relationship with an addict, nor shared children with someone. She was a bit of an Ahole because she was going off on how mad she was. But honestly, he had no right calling her for support at that moment. Call your mom, call your best mate. Tell her it’s a bad time and you’ll call back later. He was blabbering about something that didn’t impact her and was expecting her to feel the same, without regard for her feelings. So she also had no regard for his feelings. She could have just said we will talk later. But I don’t think she had to offer him any emotional support.
@@Felorina fair enough. okay, then he could have told her bad time, medical emergency, call back, and then hung up. But whole “hold my emotional baggage while I refuse to return the favor” bit is a no go. I would have probably hung up on him too. But I would have been oh, sorry, bad time, we will be in touch. Hang up.
@@NoThankUBeQuiet tbh not even if they've made the joke themselves. My friends will joke about their own trauma and if I have a joke to add I ask if they're comfortable with me making it. Some times they are, sometimes they aren't
TIME STAMPS
First story 5:29
Ad 18:46
Second story 20:32
Third story 27:45
Ad 36:58
Fourth story 37:24
Fifth story 51:24
Ad 58:26
Sixth story 1:00:08
Seveth story 1:14:50
Legend.
thank you so so much
Bless your soul lol
Thank you 😭
Thank youuuuu
This lady has weaponised her sons terminal condition... so awful, the poor son 😞
She’s horrible!
Honestly the girl in the second story, I don't think she's an asshole at all I think she's human.
She put so much into this relationship and this person she loved only to have to watch him finally be the person she deserved but for someone else.
She doesn't even really get to move on from that pain because they have kids together. She has to watch, daily, some other woman effortlessly live the life she probably tore herself apart trying to one day have with him.
Honestly I feel for her.
I'll add that from a personal perspective the fear of this exact thing happening is what kept me with an abusive addict for a while (and I think it keeps a lot of people in horrible relationships) and if my ex ever expected ANY type of emotional support after the hell he put me though I can promise my reaction would be far more volatile than this. I was lucky enough to be able to completely detach at least. A luxury poor OP here doesn't have.
Totally agree!
Soooo trueee
I totally agree with you. The girls need to see this
I completely agree. She doesn’t owe him compassion when he abused her and she has to watch him suddenly be an amazing partner.
That’s wild:
Also where the hell was his empathy when her grandmother LITERALLY died??? His wife was in surgery, not dead. You can't treat someone like trash and be abusive because you have an addiction and then expect the person you did that to, to be your emotional support ex. Seriously. Also I'm glad his girlfriend is his only reason to live.... I guess all those humans he made don't mean anything huh? He has what 3 kids now? They're not worth living for? Okay 🙄
My mum had cancer (She passed away) my parents were married for 38 years. My mum joked to my dad if you want to trade me in now you should. Because she joked when she was 50 about him trading her in for two 25 years olds. She was now 57 and asking dad is he wanted to leave her. His response was "That's crazy I would never trade you in if anything I love you even more for what you have to go through." bless my parents. Miss you Mum 💖
🥹🥹🥹 Who is cutting goddamn onions?! This is beautiful.
I feel awful for the son in hospice. If my mother explained that the way she did in the post, I would spend the last days of my life thinking it was my fault, and that my dying split up my family.
I wouldn’t lol if my mom was like this I route dad on find better do better she cheated. I would hope my mom decided to feel remorse.
Never cried watching a THT episode until the last story, that left me here bawling .. I sincerely hope one day he will suffer and find his loved ones "disgusted" of him, absolutely heartbreaking 💔😞
With that mother daughter one, Morgan mentioned how at 13 we start rebelling from our parents. it’s funny because I grew up CONSTANTLY fighting my mom as a child. I had NO relationship with either of my parents until my freshman year when I realized how lonely and isolated I was. I had absolutely no friends. My brother was a stranger to me. And I rarely ever said hi or bye to my parents. I was fourteen and remember just slowly taking steps to talk to my mom more because once my depression, anxiety, and ED started, she was the only one helping me get out of bed each morning. The only one softly and silently taking care of me when I’d cry myself to sleep. After all the fighting and me thinking she probably resented having a girl, she was the only one stoically laying at my side. It’s like even after all the times I told her I wish I wasn’t born or that I hated her, she still fought for me. Even now it makes my heart squeeze lol I’m 22 now and my mom and I are pretty inseparable and I actually talk to my dad a lot too. I just thought it was funny/sweet how I kind of went backwards haha
A mothers love is the truest and most purest
The last story made me sick to my stomach. My mom had breast cancer, a mastectomy, and to this day she feels ‘gross’ and like nobody could ever love or be attracted to her. She has an awful husband who before the cancer said he ‘just wasn’t attracted to her’ because she’s overweight. My mom is absolutely beautiful and the most incredible, strong woman I have ever met and it is my dream that she finds a person who adores and loves her the way she deserves. I truly hope the woman and child in the last story are able to find someone who loves them like that as well beyond physicality. I truly believe that if something like this makes you lose interest in someone, you never loved them to begin with. Love conquers all and it breaks my heart to know that people like this man exist. Literally just fuck that guy on every level I hope he burns in hell before he says a word to her. I also do NOT think he should tell her his ‘truth’ because it would be devastating to know you married such a shallow, despicable human. I’m so angry lol this hit close to home.
I hope you and your mom are doing better, I hope she finds all the love wants and that she gets a long healthy happy life!
@@pinkopat Thank you my love ☺️ my mom is still in the relationship but she’s been focusing on herself and I’m really proud of her for how far she’s come. She is cancer free at this time which is a blessing on it’s own ❤️ thank you so much for your kind words! Sending all the good vibes your way.
Can you do a whole episode on emotional incest stories??
I second this !!!
i third this
What even is emotional incest? First time hearing that term lmao
@@coniwiiuwu5578 it’s a type of abuse in which a parents looks to their child for the emotional support that would otherwise be provided by another adult. they may treat their child like a romantic partner
@@noelle-p7m emotional incest also applies to anyone who is related, actually. Siblings, cousins, etc. Parent and child are just the most talked about because they’re arguably the weirdest lol
I watched my mom die from cancer, I can't even imagine looking at someone you love suffer and all you can feel is disgust. That man never truly loved his partner. My mom and dad were divorced for years before she was diagnosed and he still cared for her and cried by her side throughout it all. That guy is actually evil.
Oh my god the whiplash Lauren went through on the last story was the exact same as mine when I first read that story.
I don't have a significant other, though I am a single mom of 2 boys (12 & 8), but the last story got me. I was just recently diagnosed with dcis breast cancer in December. I'm only 37, & just lost my mom to the same demon back this past April too. I will be having a mastectomy in a month, though hopefully won't have to have radiation or chemo. I love you girls. You're so genuine, & I love how I can see that from your responses. You're podcasts have been getting me through these dark, hard days & I wanted you to know that. I love you girls, you're beautiful inside & out!! 💓🩷💗🫶🏻
I'm also in absolute shock by the dickhole in that story. Are u fn kidding me? He absolutely disgusts me. That is just absolutely disgusting & I hope he steps on Legos 🤷🏽♀️ Karma is a bitch. Hands down. He'll get his one day ladies!!! 😅
the “boundary” story i was like YELLING at my tv. the way my therapist describes boundaries is how you build your relationships with others. it’s not a punishment. also lauren was spot on boundaries are not beyond critical thought lol but like using a boundary to control another persons behavior is by definition not a boundary
LMAO the update from the first story is too hilarious. "The silent majority who didn't vote"
That last story breaks my heart, she's going through one of the most difficult forms of illness and he wants to leave because she's "ugly" to him AND then to add the fact he may want to leave his child? He definitely was 100% okay until she lost her hair.
Honestly what a prick. Some people have such a lack of awareness for the fortunate life they live that there only worry is if they should divorce their sick wife because they're unattractive and then potentially want to leave their child, to live in that ignorance must be bliss.
I hope he leaves her and that she meets someone 100000 times better to spend her life with.
:( yeah it was disgusting made me sick
Wait till he finds out that hair grows back, he'll be goddammit devastated that he lost a diamond because he wanted to go and find a rock
The talk with narcissism and if it's a 'bad word' is tricky. You can be narcissistic without being a narcissist. You can be depressed without having depression (as a diagnosable illness).
hi morgan you probably won’t see this, but THT has changed my mindset on so many things! i am a very closed off person and have trouble getting close to others, but watching you, your group of friends, boyfriend and family inspires me and makes me want to put myself out there to create new friendships and get closer to others. i always enjoy listening to the podcast and hearing your guys takes!! keep it up
I love Lee, he does a great job educating people on narcissistic personality disorder.
That last story…. I wish that man the worst. She gon survive and thrive with her daughter and I hope she never lets that fool back in their lives again because mark my words he will regret it and try to come back and I hope he never gets a chance to be blessed by their presence ever again and I hope all the disgusting words he wrote replays in his mind and makes him sick til his last pathetic dying breath….. love when the trash takes itself out
Lauren is such a pure soul. I really love her empathy. It’s a gift.
Call me cold hearted but if any of my abusive ex boyfriends who put me through hell. I’d hang up too.
Narcissist and NPD are two different things. You can say narcissist, it's okay, it is not a diagnosis.
“I want her to understand that it isn’t because she’s a bad person” No OP, you are a bad person
BRO THE LAST ONE? IF HE THINKS HE HAS IT HARD IMAGINE HOW THE WIFE FEELS 😭😭
For the second story, I want to try being more empathetic and I think in her mind, she hasn't moved on from the emotional/verbal abuse she experienced from him whilst he was going through a heavy addiction and when she experienced death herself, he was very cold-hearted and so in that moment she probably snapped and returned the same energy he had always given her for 7 years. She went through so much with him, to now probably never have gotten an apology and him not acknowledging all that she did for him, and all the pain he caused her. But I also think, after cooling down, she should have acknowledged her own wrongs in that situation and she needs to apologise and just move on from that past pain and bitterness.
Lauren: "Can I say MFer?"
Morgan: "... yes?"
Lauren: " cool 😎"
I love her 🤣
As a therapist, the first woman is not a narcissist. What she is doing is selfish and having a lack of insight, but I would caution throwing the word narcissist around without clear clinical knowledge. Just because someone has shitty behavior doesn't mean they have a clinical disorder.
The story about the 15 year old being “mean” to her mom that was crying to her about not getting a kiss from her dad, she isn’t the asshole. Her mom is using her as a therapist or friend to talk about her marriage with her CHILD. I have grown up with a mom like this and it’s so toxic and because while the mom has every right to be upset that does not mean she has the right to use her kid to dump her marital problems. My bf has has the same and he came to recent his dad until I pointed out that his dad is feeling the same yet worse because he doesn’t have anyone to talk to and knows that his mom is talking about their problems to him to turn him against his dad. I think it’s very mature for the OP 15 year old to tell her mom to stop, granted she didn’t do it the best way, but she’s 15 and doesn’t know how to set that boundary. You both spoke about boundries and this boundary of telling your parents you aren’t their friends or therapist because you are older is the hardest one-from personal experience.
My mom did the same thing to my siblings and I- she had a baby when I was 10 and didn’t tell anyone until she came home with him. I then had to go from being the youngest to not in a few mins and then had to raise my brother because my parents were so busy. AND she did it again when I almost turned 22 by giving us another baby brother and not telling us to try and fix her marital problems. I don’t know the situation with the OP parent’s marriage but it almost feels like this was a similar situation. The OP has EVERY right to also feel resentment about the situation and grow through her feelings especially with the new hormones and not have the added stress of her mom dumping her problems onto her
I had a guy friend tell me something similar about not being attracted to sick girls. I thought it was terribly insensitive. He's gotten married and had a kid now and he's a really good dad.
Omg I love your vids!!!!! They are so awesome to listen to and watch when you are doing thing. And the stories are awesome.
Totally disagree about the second story. That girl does not even owe him the time of day if it is not about their children! He abused her, stole from her, and where was his empathy/sympathy when her grandmother died. No abuse victim has to give their abuser the time of day! She stuck with him through a lot and probably begged him to treat her how he treats his wife. So no she’s not the ah! He doesn’t get to emotionally dump on her.
Always a rad time in store when THT has a new episode out 🔥
My gf's 14 year old daughter had a stroke. The hospital insisted she was "faking it for attention" for 19 hours. They would not give her medication to help the blood clot. She ended up brain damage that could have been avoided. She had to learn to walk again. It was years of rehab. All because they refused to believe her.
1:09:33 wow that was insightful, I'll definitely keep coming back to that quote
These top comments give me liiiife! So on point, so satisfying..
love the episodes with you and lauren!🤍
I got fudge stripes for this
UGH THANK U. I’ve binged watched all your Reddit podcasts 😮💨
It's a part of rocket man, I don't know if someone else already said it, but that's the lyric from the song that's sticking out to you that she's singing but it's from one of his older songs.
‘is that a kanye song?’
‘no its dua lipa’
AND ELTON JOHN😭😭😭😭
I have a friend and her mom has diagnosed narcissism and she's a great parent according to them
Morgan and Lauren “yeah I mean this one is obvious…”
me: “oop”
With the pregnant sister in law she was definitely looking for a reason to cut off OP’s family and keep them away. Way overreacting for nothing and stress isnt as big of a factor as first time moms make it out to be.
I always felt safer arguing with my mom than I did with my dad. I never doubted that my mom would still love me if we fought, but I was always terrified of disappointing my dad
Going off the boundaries thing: you can have boundaries but also people can choose to meet you at that boundary or not.
If not, you leave.
No one should be supportive for exes if they don t want to. I don t talk to my exes. Maybe just me - but I don t talk to them, what was was. What is now is not. Second story - not the ah. Should have handled it maybe different - my ex would never call me to tell me smth like this even though we have a child together. I have set clear boundaries
I’m so conflicted on the second story. I can relate to her on how she was loyal and supportive to someone after all the shit they put her thru but I just can’t wrap my mind around the fact that someone’s life was literally at stake and she brushed it off to talk about school photos. Like how shallow can you be? Yes it must hurt that he changed for someone else and not you and it probably hurt her even more that they were pregnant as well. I know she’s hurt but what she did was petty. Yes he was abusive to her in the past and she doesn’t owe him anything not even comfort, but the least she could’ve done was calmly hang up without mentioning photos or bringing up the fact that her relationship was more important than theirs and just let him deal with his own emotions in that moment. She really made it about herself and that’s so disgusting. Yes when her family member died he wasn’t there and he wasn’t supportive and that hurt her, but I feel like she is essentially doing the same thing to him after she knows how bad it hurt her. Idk. She doesn’t owe him anything but the gf has nothing to do with that, her life was at stake and it’s not her fault what he did to you.
Yay Lauren! Always happy to see Lauren. Alejandra is awesome, too. ❤️
nah second story, imo; there’s a reason you’re alone in this situation and no one showed up for you… that’s why you actually treat ppl with decency BEFORE you need help like that’s basically using your history as manipulation when yk damn well you’ve never showed up for them in the same severity. I wouldn’t ask about the money but I wouldn’t pretend like I care to rekindle a bad flame.
I like how in each of your episodes you try to see every side of each story.
I was searching for a vid I hadn’t seen yet yesterday and I must’ve been like an hour too early 😭 glad I have this tho
y’all not knowing elton john by his voice concerns me 😭
Just FYI, the op for the instagram post story updated and it's so much worse. The SIL and her brother sent her mom awful messages, while she was still feeling bad, blaming her for "trying to make things about her". Later they invited her mom to see the newborn baby but op has decided to remain no contact with brother and SIL until they apologize, especially about the way they treated the mom while she was unwell
The last story is exactly the reason why I don't believe in relationships.
The first story was infuriating
The one with the mom crying just made me so sad. Girl is 15 and can’t cook for herself, yet tells her mom to grow up. 😊
Thought this was a pregnancy theme not cold-hearted ngl
2:00 Rocket Man has a line “I’m not the man they think I am at home” and it sadly summarizes a ton of Reddit stories 😂. P.S./FUN FACT: my kids know LAUV’s father. 🎶 Would love to hear Justin’s song!
I LOVE LAUREN LMAO she’s awesome🤣🥰
I hope beyond hope that karma comes for these assholes. That last one made me physically ill. Wow.
I’m literally crying at the fifth story 😢 what the fuck was he thinking?!?! That was so freaking heartless AND at the shower!!!!
I have a friend from Minnesota who calls people “Dingdongbutthead” 😂
Wendy Williams called Dua Lipa, Dula Peep.
I work at an arena and within a couple months I heard both Elton John sing Cold Heart live with Dua Lipa on track and Dua Lipa song it with Elton on track lol
for the second story they need to talk about how he said his gf is his only reason for living, dawg you got 3 kids…
The statistics on how frequently husbands leave their wives during cancer is incredibly depressing
Damn as a person with breast cancer that's definitely a fear 😢
That last one sent me! I listen to alot of podcast about alot of things have have on many occasions cried or been happy or even upset! But this is honestly the first time I have been legit mad! I do feel bad for the mother but I'm fully raged about the child!
Omg totally unrelated but what is Lauren’s highlight? She’s glowing!
Watching these while being fried is a marvelous combo
To tell your child that you cheated because caring for them was too stressful, no matter how old they are it will develop a complex within them. It is not ok to look anyone let alone your own child in the eyes and essentially say “I cheated because you’re too much for me to handle” the son should be told about the relationship but the father should do it. Not the mother that is disgusting
My grandma had a stroke in 2022 and the gave her that medicine and it made her brain bleed then she couldn’t do anything and a tear and 5 months later she passed 🤦🏽♀️😞😞
Use whatever insults you want I love you guys but you have to stop enabling the “triggered” mentality. It’s not your job to protect everyone’s feelings. It’s our job to deal and move on. If someone’s offended by Pansy everyone’s turning into pussies it’s too much 😂 I’m not saying go off the rails and be offensive but just say whatever you want if you’re censoring who you are then what’s the point of having a personality at all.
"dark humor" isn't real when you joke about OTHER people's trauma and at someone else's expense. I know people use dark humor for coping but that is when it is their OWNNNNN trauma. dark humor is an excuse to hide behind for most people.
I don't think she still liked him. I think it's rather that she took his addiction phase and then this random girl got him to get better when she was there that whole time and he was terrible. I think it's more she feels cheated. Then to hear him say that felt like a slap. Although her behavior was out right heartless.
For the ill son story....sometimes ignorance is bliss. He's obviously in his last days, maybe weeks, and the last thing he wants to know is his mom cheated and is blackmailing his dad to stay with her. Then again, a woman like her doesn't care what others get out of it (emotional trauma/stress) she only cares what she gets...not a divorce! Such a monster and I feel awful for the husband!
Exactly! And he’s obviously old enough to know and understand. I went through a divorce right before my son went on hospice and then passed away. My ex made everything miserable because of how selfish he was. I’ll never forgive him for making my sons last day worse than they needed to be.
I feel sorry for the son too. Imagine being in his position, knowing that your parents will divorce and the family will fall apart once you pass. I would feel sick to my stomach.
Also, "wanting to be honest" with their son is clearly bs, because otherwise why would she say "oh, but I won't tell him if my husband promises not to divorce me"? Is "being honest" important to her or not? Make it make sense.
@@catbeara The "being honest" is her leaving out the affair and saying that the husband wants a divorce due to *insert reason to shift blame on hubby here*
@@cody2081 💯
It's a rare diagnosis because narcissist rarely go to therapy.
Totally agree they don’t get help because they don’t believe anything is wrong with them
what we ARENT going to do is demonize an already stigmatized mental diagnosis. that generally, you know, stems from trauma.
EXACTLY
@@kaveh.. while it does usually stem from trauma, yes it should be demonized. Those with a narcissistic personality should be avoided. It doesnt matter why they are narcissistic.
@@kaveh.. We're demonising the people who refuse to address their issues and seek help, not those who have it but really want to change. What we AREN'T going to do is give excuses.
I was diagnosed with MS in 2019 in the hospital. My partner stuck by my side every day of my treatment, fed me, showered me, and held me as I learned to walk again. Not once did I ever consider that he would leave me. Unfortunately, I was told many stories where women with MS are abandoned by their male partners because they instantly lose attraction. It breaks my heart to hear this, I don't know what I would have done without my partner. I proposed to him a month later, I knew he was the one.
I read that 20% of men leave their wives if the wife gets cancer but only 2% of women leave their husbands if the husband gets cancer.
All I can say about that guy is Karma will come back for him and he will end up with a worse illness ALONE! The fact that he doesn’t even know if he wants to keep contact with his child is ridiculous. What does he think is going to happen if his wife dies? Is he not going to step up to take responsibility for her? He has made up his mind about leaving and now sees himself as a free single man with nobody to have to take responsibility for…disgusting attitude. And him saying he will support the wife/child for a year? I hope she takes everything from him!
My mom has ms and she is 47 almost 48 this year, after she had me she couldn't have anymore kids and her health declined. It was like a roller coasters of emotions for my family. About 2 years ago she was at her lowest, ruptured brain anuresume, stroke and she survived it all. She is still with us and has all mobility and such like before. Just understandably her memory isn't great. I'm saying this to tell you and maybe others that there are men out there who will stick like glue even when health declines! My parents have been married for almost 30 years!
i kinda disagree on the story about the ex whose wife was dying. if someone abused you, you don't owe them empathy. not because they don't deserve empathy in general but because it's not anyone's responsibility to give emotional support to their abuser. of course he deserves support and understanding, but emotionally dumping onto someone you abused isn't okay and she shouldn't be expected to care for him emotionally. with that said, she could've been honest and straightforward about how she felt instead of hanging up on him. i would've said something like "i'm sorry you're going through this and i hope your wife is okay, but considering our past, i don't have the emotional capacity to be here for you on such a heavy subject and you need to find someone else to talk about this with. if you can't talk about the school pictures right now, i'll call back later."
10000% all of this, yes!!
Came here to say exactly this!
Agreed, she shouldn't be expected to help him but asking about photos and hanging up isn't a thing you should do to anyone going through something this scary! I'd say something along the lines you said and ask them to call a friend or close family. Both of them suck in this scenario at least a little bit
See I thought this too till she got upset now her ex only wants to talk to her about the kids, like what did she expect. I agree she didn’t owe him empathy but she can’t expect him to ever show empathy back after that
I think they are both right sort of. She doesn't owe him a shoulder to cry on. Also, he should probably only talk to her about the kids. That's really the only productive conversation they are going to have. I would've said call someone else and I'll talk to you about our kids later.
I am so pissed about the pregnant sister in law! The mother had a stroke and nobody cared from the “better” side of the family! Wtf! This is huge!
The dad in the last story is THE ABSOLUTE WORST human being ever. I am beyond disgusted.
The one about the MIL who had a stroke at the baby shower, it sounds to me like the wife was looking for a way to oust the husband’s family for a loooooong time and just jumped on this opportunity to do it. There’s no way she got that offended about missing her baby shower for a medical emergency. She saw her opening to be angry and force that side of the family out and she took it.
My husbands mom is the same way. She loves making passive aggressive social media posts and I just ignored them until she made one about our wedding. She basically made me look like a huge asshole and drew a lot of attention to the fact that my mom and dads family took pictures separately. Because they are divorced.
I confronted her about the post and how the way she framed it made me feel very hurt and she basically said I was starting drama for no reason.
She had been baiting me for years for the chance to say "don't you see how your horrible girlfriend is so mean to me???" but when she did it blew up in her face because husband sided with me 🙄
@@RedFreaderd good I’m glad they did! That’s insane, I’m sorry you’re dealing with those kinds of people.
“The silent majority” “the vocal minority” girly sounding like Donald Trump😭😂
I was going to say the same thing 🤣
It should literally be common sense to not joke about miscarriages or make any comments about infertility…
Absolutely and there are so many other jokes he could’ve made if he was so desperate to be funny. When I heard the first part of the joke I thought he was going to say “hope they fit” or something in terms of the dad wearing them, but he went wayyyyy left field. Also I don’t think there is ANY sane parent in the world who would think a “joke” about their kid dying would be even remotely funny
@@Tori.S. seriously. That’s why I can’t deal with people with “dark humor” almost everyone I’ve met who makes those kinds of jokes is doing it to disguise the fact that they’re just a bad person
Right. Hope they didn't stay friends
@@miajanay9161 I'm not defending the op at all in that story but I want to point out dark humor is not making fun of dark things or other people to get a laugh dark humor is making fun of your own issues and things you personally went through in a way that isn't attacking or mocking other people its a coping mechanism for trauma usually and while I can understand not everyone liking it please don't discount people who use it for themselves as long as they aren't hurting others
On your conversation about narcissist’s, i think the term “self centred” is typically more accurate since it is not used in a clinical setting.
Agreed
Narcissism is a valid descriptor of the behavior. The description =\= a diagnosis
@@Anonymous-ti8yw narcissism is an action that anyone can exhibit. A narcissist is a condition. Context is what matters
Came here to say this, so glad you did!
Speaking as someone with narc traits, it does irritate me a bit to hear people refer to narcissists so much - but it's not the implication itself (that someone in the situation is a narcissist) that offends me, instead it's the inevitable bullshit medical-babble description that comes. "Karen is a narcissist." Fine. "Karen is a narcissist. The narcissist always does (blank) and seeks to (blank) in order to (blank)" that kind of BS gets on my nerves because at that point what they're really describing is abusers and bullies. Referring to narcissists as this archetype and ascribing exact behaviours to them, to me just sounds like astrology.
Definitely a harsh take on the second story. As someone who has many addicts in my life, predominantly my mother, it is HEART BREAKING to seem them do better and be better for someone else. I have always said that my mother brings out a side of me that no one else sees. I get volatile and cruel, but she made me that way. I imagine it is the same for the woman in the second story. To be called by someone who caused you trauma and heartbreak and for them to ask for comfort or empathy is such a slap in the face. She's not the asshole, but it could have been handled differently.
I think its unwise that we keep perpetuating the notion that victims owe anything to their abusers. She didn't owe him anything after all of the years of abuse he put her through. Sure, maybe it can be seen as cold-hearted, but justly deserved. She has been decent enough to co-parent with him for the sake of her children, why should she be expected to comfort the man that brought her such pain?
She shouldn’t be expected to comfort him but come on. She needed to have read the room and just been like “ok. I’m not comfortable with this. We can talk about this at a better time” rather than “I don’t give a shit about your girlfriend and child possibly dying you need to give me money.”
OP doesn’t give a shit about a woman who’s done literally nothing to her except date OP’s ex. Having been abused doesn’t give you the excuse to be a shitty person.
@@bridi0821 I think the part you’re missing is that she didn’t say all that on the phone to him. All she said on the phone to him was, look, I’m calling about our kids, I’m focusing on the kids we share, and I called about this specific thing. HE was the one who kept going on about the love of his life. Then she hung up on him. In explaining WHY she hung up on him she elaborated on the fact that the woman had just had a baby, and a difficult pregnancy. And honestly, if that’s how she feels, THAT might seem heartless to some, but she kept it to herself at least. Just like she kept the jealousy bit to herself. It was her ex having emotional vomit of the mouth on the phone.
I don’t think she’s a shitty person at all. She’s a person who was ABUSED by the person she was on the phone with, and probably still needs therapy to help her process her feelings around it and to even determine if it’s healthy for her to coparent with him at all.
I’m sorry, in the heat of the moment of emergency, I’m not staying on the phone about it with my ex unless it’s about the son we share. Otherwise, I hang up and call MY support system. He wasn’t the one in the ER for injury, he could have easily been emotionally self aware enough to hang up on his ex, and even had he given no explanation that would have been fine! And would not have been an ahole move. But, that’s my opinion, and if people want to see it as an ahole opinion, so be it. You don’t expend ANY emotional bandwidth on an abuser IMO.
@@sha2596 beautifully put. You are 100% correct.
@Sha 259 I completely agree. I get where they are coming from saying set your feelings aside in this moment to be there for him but that isn't always feasible. As someone that has always tried to set aside what I'm feeling in order to be there for others it has really taken its toll. I honestly now if in OPs situation would have done something similar. It may be selfish or cold-hearted but sometimes that has to be done. It seemed like OP needed to deal with the thoughts and feelings that came up for her before she could be of any real help to him. There seems to be a lot of unresolved stuff for OP.
@@sha2596 Have you ever met a person having a crisis? Have you ever sat in the waiting room of a hospital while someone has a loved one in the ER for an emergency/in surgery. People will talk to the first person who interacts with them so they don’t explode. Just like how OP is human for being bitter, her ex is human for wanting to talk to ANYONE while waiting for his parents. No one’s saying she had to coddle him. She literally just had to say “I’m sorry. It looks like this isn’t a good time. We’ll talk about this some other day” (because she has every right to not want to deal with the emotions of someone who abused her) rather than being like “listen. I know you’re having an emergency, but pay me for OUR CHILDREN’S SCHOOL PICTURES.” What person would put a family emergency above children’s pictures? I’d understand if their kids were in the hospital, but they weren’t. You state that OP’s ex could have been emotionally stable enough to hang up when OP was arguably in a better headspace.
Also, OP literally gets mad when her ex says he’ll only talk to her about the kids. Why? It seems entitled to tell your ex “I don’t care about your personal life” and then get mad when they do the same. Again, OP isn’t the asshole for being bitter. She is the asshole for not reading the room. Saying “we can talk about this when you aren’t having a family emergency” isn’t emotional bandwidth
"People with dark humor always have the worst jokes"
Hot Take: Dark humor isn't bad- People who feel the need to repeatedly proclaim their dark sense of humor don't actually have a dark sense of humor, they just find it amusing to say offensive and horrible things to see the look on their faces.
I agree 99% of the time when my dark humor comes out it is towards my own traumas and with people who know me. Timing is everything with that type of humor and a baby shower isn't the time or place.
this sounds like smthn someone who has terrible jokes and a dark humor would say
I mean, I use humor to cope with my own trauma so I would say I have something similar to a dark sense of humor, I don't just go around spewing offensive shit.
Agreed. I dont know if my humor would be dark, but I can appreciate actual dark jokes.
But this wasn’t even a joke. It was “your baby might die lol” there wasn’t a punchline.
The way I see it is dark humor is self-deprecating and/or based on your experiences. It is taking your shot at yourself or making a joke out of a tragedy that you endured. If the joke is at someone else's expense it is not dark humor it is you being an a******
I don't think the baby mama of the school pics story handled the phone call well, BUT why should she be her abuser's emotional support system? It sounded like she has a trauma bond to him and is confusing it with love. But, from y'alls take, it sounded like you wanted her to be there for him when he litterally was an asshole to her for YEARS. For him to even have access to her is her being a saint.
Girl what? They have kids together so he HAS to have access to her for instances that involve their kids. And he wasn’t even the one to call her. She called him to talk about the photos while he was in a crisis situation and then CONTINUED to ask him for money after he told what happened. No sympathy for a woman who’s done nothing to her but get with her ex. She could have just told him she’d call back later. Being in an abusive relationship doesn’t automatically give you the right to be a shitty person. OP didn’t owe him any emotional support but she was just a shitty person because she was bitter. Granted, she has every right to be bitter but jeez…she was cold hearted.
@@bridi0821 i disagree. If she took him to court while the abuse of drugs and physical, emotional, and mental abuse was still happening he could of been revoked of his rights as a parent. But, my comment ab him having access to her I meant emotionally accessible. If he felt comfortable enough to call her, the woman he abused, instead of his parents who were on their way, then there's a problem.
@@jordyfrancis1264 but he didn’t call her. She called him about the pictures first. He didn’t seek her out for comfort. She literally could have just said “we can talk about this later” when she noticed he was freaking out. She doesn’t owe him support but she needed to have just hung up instead of continuing her questioning. Most people don’t think “hey. Should I really be venting my feelings out to this person” when they’re having a crisis situation. OP was the one with the clearer head in the beginning and should have just told him she’d call back later
@@bridi0821 oh true she did call I forgot ab that.
@@jordyfrancis1264 ya. Like. No one’s saying she doesn’t have the right to be bitter. She does. But there’s a time and place for saying shit like “I don’t care about your personal life” and the time is not “in the middle of this person’s mental breakdown”
Ummm for the second story, did you guys miss out on the part where HE wasn’t there for HER? When her family member was at risk to die, but she’s automatically supposed to be there for HER ABUSER. I love this podcast but this take was totally not it. She didn’t owe him sh*t in my opinion. Also, if she needed to put all her feelings away and support him, where was he? Why didn’t he support her? This take was totally off base for me, he manipulated and abused her and then decided to basically rub it in her face that he got better for another woman, and expected her to be there and listen to him? Heck no I would’ve hung up immediately as well.
Exactly what I was thinking!! OP doesn’t owe Pete anything. She has a right to feel the way she does.
Thank you for saying it! The part where he said this is his one true love and soulmate I was mad for her
I totally agree as well, I also don’t think she’s still in love with Pete but when you get out of an abusive relationship it’s hard to get over and feelings get stuck! I think she could’ve handled it better, by telling him she can’t be there for him in this way, but her feelings are valid.
It killed me when they said good on Pete for handling this so well afterwards. Guys… WHAT?!
@@xQueenofnothing Fr!!!! Like what about her? What about all the shit HE put HER through??
The mother is under the impression that her son will side with her by default because "hubby is breaking up the family" but not condemn her for having an affair that drove her husband to leave in the first place
that woman was probably gonna paint her own narrative to get her son on her side anyways and poison him against the father by placing all the blame on him. I wouldn't put it past her to hide the affair
I’d bet my entire paycheck that the “manipulation” from the neighbor was her believing that they wanted to be with her and that was the only reason she was fine with the divorce at first.
When your parents divorce while you’re a healthy college student, divorce is painful. Who the f would tell that dying man that his parents are divorcing?
That woman was IRREDEEMABLE. “Narcissist” was absolutely the right word to use on her… she just wants to exploit her son’s last days on Earth to spin her little web and try to get him on her side. If she ruined his final days like that, I can only hope that he did indeed stick to the “but you cheated though” line of thinking.
I’m getting creepy ‘I have a crush on my friend and using my donation for her baby is the closest I’ll get to sleeping with her’ vibes from the third story
AGREED
I never thought of that, but it makes too much sense! I can see from a logical perspective why the husband thought “don’t ask don’t tell” but he didn’t even tell OP nor to talk about it! Either way it’s messed up.
Yeeeah same especially because he didn't tell his wife. Just screams "I can reproduce with her this way inatead and get off knowing I impregnanted her'...maybe men don't think like that but it screams that imo.
My therapist says boundaries can't control other people, they are only about how you will act in a given situation.
The pregnant lady is acting like her mother in law had a stroke on purpose.
I wanna hear an episode about roommates ahhh I’m currently in an abusive relationship with my college roommate and feel as though it needs to be talked about more :/
Me too! It's been hell and I've never heard anyone talk about abusive roommates. I hope you're okay and able to move soon!
Here for this!! I have had sooo many horrible roommate situations and I refuse to do it again.
Also, I’m sorry you’re going through that Tamia. I hope you get peace, space and healing soon!
It’s very understated that abusive relationships can be non romantic. Roommates and friends can also be VERY abusive I’m sorry you’re dealing with that
I’m so sorry you are through this
I feel like they have done an episode about roommates already.
in the sperm donor one i feel like her friend has some creepy thing for her because i just dont understand why else he would orchestrate this situation the way he did... like it was his idea, he kept it secret from the wife, then played dumb... im sry but no one is that dumb
exactly what i was thinking
That’s what I thought too! He didn’t tell the wife because he knew she’d say no. He thought it would be his little secret. Gross
What if he wanted a baby with her the whole time they were friends, that’s the only thing I kept going through my mind
I reckon he gets off on the fact that his seed is in his female friend, and that she will be bearing his children. Like some sick fantasy come true. Imagine of he and his wife decided that thwy wanted more children, so she got her really hot male friend to donate his spem in secret, go to the clinic, get preggers, and then tell her husband that the baby is from a donor. Oops~ Imagine! And her excuse was just, "well I wanted very cute babies and I needed his genetics~" It would never fly.
The fact that he abused her, stole money from her, and refused to drive her anywhere when her grandma died while supporting him through a meth addiction makes me not feel any sympathy for him. After everything he’s put her through he has some nerve dumping his problems on her like that. Why should she comfort him when he couldn’t give her that same respect when her grandmother died? The VICTIM should not be blamed for not being there for her ABUSER. Morgan and Lauren’s take on this really disappointed me😕
Toootally agree. His parents were on their way. He should not have thought to go to OP for anything given what he put her through. She was harsh but who wouldn’t be?
Thank you!! I was listing to their take and I was like, did they miss the part where she was abused by him?!
I 100% agree. It's very disappointing when Morgan first said what she did, as she had addressed saying things that imply that the victim is to blame. I'm just glad that the conversation went deeper than the initial comments made.
@@meganrebnord7389 yeah Morgan and Lauren’s takes disappointed me during this episode
@@lauren3227 Exactly. She’s done enough for him and he has some nerve to play the victim in this🙄
For the story with the ex fiancé with dying wife, I’m sorry, it’s understandable why she reacted the way she did. She wasn’t right, but this man hurt her and expected empathy when he gave her little.
They’re both very petty people. Imagine saying that sort of thing to your ex fiancé while you verbally and emotionally abused, that someone else was your reason for being.
She wasn’t even dying. She was just in the ER for bleeding. Not every ER case is life threatening. Hanging up on him was honestly fine. But she needs to get some therapy to get past and move on from her past with him as an addict. This guy is not the guy that she had a relationship with. She doesn’t need to feel jealous of this new girl.
@@sha2596 even though she might not have died, it likely was a life or death situation if she was bleeding extensively as had to go to the ER after birth. This just happened to a woman at my mom’s hospital and she sadly did not make it. My friend was in a similar situation a few months ago and had to have emergency surgery to get her uterus removed.
It is very scary regardless.
@@BRhymesss Where was his empathy when her grandmother ACTUALLY died????? She's doesn't owe him anything besides being a civil co-parent.
You don't get to abuse people just because you're an addict and then turn around and demand they be your emotional support person.
I agree. I do think she shouldn't have mentioned the money business stuff though. Just say 'I'm sorry.' and hang up or something allong those lines.
@@Milkymommy09 while i agree that he was clearly abusive in their past bc of his addiction i don’t think b rhymes was really trying to defend him. pregnancy complications are scary and oftentimes a small thing can lead to big problems and i think that’s all they were trying to say
Story 4 - sounds like the sister better start "setting a boundary" with her lazy ass brother by ripping him a new one for starts. Who TF lets their WIFE talk to their SISTER AND MOTHER AND FATHER like that when their Mother had a stroke?!?!?!!!!
Literally how is he putting a party and his wife's tantrum above his mother who had a stroke?????
You can tell you guys have never been in a relationship with an addict, nor shared children with someone. She was a bit of an Ahole because she was going off on how mad she was. But honestly, he had no right calling her for support at that moment. Call your mom, call your best mate. Tell her it’s a bad time and you’ll call back later.
He was blabbering about something that didn’t impact her and was expecting her to feel the same, without regard for her feelings. So she also had no regard for his feelings. She could have just said we will talk later. But I don’t think she had to offer him any emotional support.
THANK YOU. After all the shit he’s put her through he had no right to call her looking for comfort.
He didn’t call her, she called him because she wanted his half of their kids picture money for school. But I agree with everything else you said 100%
@@Felorina oh okay I missed that part thanks 👍🏾
@@Felorina fair enough. okay, then he could have told her bad time, medical emergency, call back, and then hung up. But whole “hold my emotional baggage while I refuse to return the favor” bit is a no go. I would have probably hung up on him too. But I would have been oh, sorry, bad time, we will be in touch. Hang up.
I agree HAHAHAH. I was like why is he even saying it to her LOL. Maybe it's coincidental since she called him at that moment but bruh
Rule of thumb for dark humor: only make the joke if it is clearly about yourself as a way to cope with your own trauma. Otherwise you’re the AH.
Or you have seen the person Make similar jokes. BUT not frequently and it must be cautious
@@NoThankUBeQuiet tbh not even if they've made the joke themselves. My friends will joke about their own trauma and if I have a joke to add I ask if they're comfortable with me making it. Some times they are, sometimes they aren't
Or. Or. Just get a better sense of humor and stop using dark humor as an excuse.
Eh its debatable, sometimes dark humour can be enjoyable at certain limits, but it should never be at the expense of other people.@rjmunster9600