This is so true. I just left my relationship of 14 years. There was alot of reasons I stayed with him.but enough was enough. I would rather be alone then deal with what I was dealing with.
Wtf that gotta do when a man finally sees he was wrong and grows immensely from there and skyrockets up from there with a 180° diff view and perspective... MAYBE ASK WHY HE WOULD DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE??
I've been through quite a few breakups. And trust me, if you really want that person back, you're going to have to put the work in. You have to face the ugly truth and work on yourself. Sometimes you don't get your way, but what will happen is the growth in yourself for the next person. Actions speak volumes. And sometimes the lack of the actions that caused the problems do too.
What if u kn your mistakes and u want to be a better person, and u want to fix them and correct them, if u will grow and be a better person, will I be then worthy enough to ask her again
@promizir4799 As long as she is willing and wants to explore that territory with you again and you're both on the same path. It could work out. And it's not just about you being worthy. Both parties bringing worth is important. What that looks like is up to the both of you collectively. Ask yourself this. How do I show up for my partner the way she wants me to show up? How does she want to be loved? That goes for how you want to be loved also. There needs to be lots of conversations and openness. And actually listening to each other without interrupting and assumptions. You can try using a timer, giving each other room to talk. And then repeat what she said and how you view it from your point of view. And she can tell you that's what she meant or she can tell you that's not what she meant. It takes work and lots of practice. I would start by finding out each other's love language. It will change the way you approach all relationships.
@Teh Psychedelic I think so. Even with self love can come with tough decisions I guess. I do not like conflict and I do not fear difficult conversations. My experience with difficult conversations is that when discussed openly and fairly between both partners there really aren’t many difficult conversations. It’s just like ripping off the bandaid so to speak. Or is it because the door has been opened to talk without judgement? And trust has been gained on another level. Creating a deeper connection and expansion in one’s relationship. That is the ultimate relationship. It’s unfortunate so many are afraid to take such a worthwhile risk. I will take that risk over and over again to find the one who sees the value in taking that risk with me… endless hope. 🧘♀️ 😊❤️
We broke up because he didn’t wanted to get married, after 1 year apart he proposed begging for forgiveness. After another year, he broke my heart again saying he wasn’t serious about it. Why are some people so horrible?
Probably an avoidant. Not sure. If not that extreme surely commitment phobic or emotionally unavailable. I am sorry you had to go through that😢. Hope you're healed now❤.
Sometimes people need space to appreciate each other more the next time around. So they can see what life without the person is, and if they don’t like it they get back together. There’s nothing wrong with getting back with an ex if you’ve both grown and the relationship can become stronger being you know what life without each other is like.
Sometimes when you aren't sure how you feel about someome, you break up and that's exactly what helped you understand how much he/she actually means to you. People tend to take someone for granted just for the mere fact that they are used to them and their existance in their life, but when you let go of the person and you realise that you never want to be without them again. People don't always break up with you for a malicious reason, sometimes opening yourself up to someone, making yourself vulnerable to them in orderr for love to flow is scary, because you know that when you allow them in they have the power to hurt you.
That's perfectly fine. However. The problem is, they get the person back and continue doing the same thing thay caused them to lose that person in the first place.
@@kayjeffs3741 but also it is possible that you might not know what you want. In terms of you might be afraid of it. For example infidelity and divorce is so common these days, that if you are a child of parents that may have had affairs, may have gotten divorced etc. you might be so afraid of that happening to you, that you think being alone is a safer option. Only then to realise that you are not the same without that person in your life.
My Ex-husband pulled that on me the very next day after I left him. He was panicked and said that ONLY in hopes I'd believe him. Thank God I found the strength to continue walking away 🙏 I've rebuilt a magical existence since then which I truly have to thank him for because his actions and words of abuse allowed me to see that I wasn't loving nor respecting myself
@@loveshopping8497you guys are such strong and beautiful queens!!! We stan women who leave their husbands 😍😍😍 cuz who gives ash about the promise you made to God in front of all your loved ones 🥰
Wow, much truth in this... this is exactly what happened to me. My ex came to me 2 weeks after I left him lol. Cried and said it will be different. Me having compassion I said okay I believe you. Lol. 2 months later he fell back to his old ways. Haha. Lesson learn ladies. I honestly say it really given me the strength to value myself and putting my own self first!... no more. Keep strong to whoever is going through the same struggle.❤️
he came back after 1month and said he has changed...bt when I refused to go back to him...he used abusive language and asked for all the expense he had done for me...I don't know in what type of relationship I was😅Now I am afraid of falling in love again.
I truly believe the tiger does not change his stripes. My ex came back and has said he’s changed. I told him that I need more of an assurance than that before taking him back.
Sometimes they want you back so that they can take revenge by throwing you hard enough to break into pieces that you won't even be able to count pieces.
My ex contacted me a month ago. It's been 9months since the break up. I wanted to know what changed? He had contact with me for about a month and cancelled few times to meet up and talk about it. Moral of the story....set your boundaries and standards. Don't let people come back into your life when they aren't even willing to prioritize time with you.
Honestly... he just wanted to sleep with you again. #Smh Everyone please especially ladies get the book on Amazon titled... WE DON’T DATE FOREVER... WE GET MARRIED ❤️⭐️🙏🏼
@@CatsCorral2019 I have lived on this earth for a long time and when someone says their ex most of the time they’ve been in a personal relationship ....so please excuse me for assuming. 🙏🏼I wrote the book on relationships. ❤️ You are a rarity! I commend you for that.⭐️ if you had an ex and you did not have a intimate relationship with him, 🤔...bravo to you 🤗... it saved you a lot of mental and physical heartache. ❤️⭐️🙏🏼
Best thing I have ever done for myself was purposely just stop seeking to fill the void I felt by being on my own. Instead I let the pain surface and be done with it. Thanks to people that helped.
A good reason to ask is, “Are they back because they actually realized they threw a good relationship away or are they back because they are lonely & realize it’s hard to be single again?” This is the ultimate reason why a lot of men end up coming back. It’s one of the other. The former, make sure they understand what needs to change, make sure they prove it & let them know the first sign you see them going back to their old ways you’re permanently done or they go to therapy. But if it’s the latter? Do not take them back. Being lonely isn’t fun, starting over again isn’t either. But it’s no excuse to come back & settle with you if you two aren’t a good fit and they don’t want to be alone, have easy access to your body, and not change or heal things about themselves. So always make sure you know WHY they are truly coming backs.
Sometimes, they want you back only 'cause they want to see if they can get you back. It's usually worse the second time around. They're okay in the beginning but the relationship spirals downward fast, and then you have to break up with them again. It's best to move on.
If he jeopardizes you once, he will jeopardize you again. If he didn’t invest and protect the first time, he sure as hell won’t the next or the next next. Know your WORTH and RESPECT YOURSELF enough to say no thank you to round 2, round 547 ….
Not every situation is the same.. maybe because they both was in a relationship, and they didn’t understand if they were gonna be meant to be entirely recognize that is worth fighting for
This is exactly, the question I have had to let it sink in my mind and understand that sometimes people will always be who they are, so let them be and move on...period!
I broke up with my ex, and got back with him. No one had changed. But now I know it was because I was in love with the potential of having a family, rather than loving peace and tranquility. Now we've both moved on, we're in a much better place (we have a child together)
Difference is after a bad breakup, people think about what went wrong from them and not from the other person. So feeling guilt about all the wrong things they did they realize, mistake was from both the sides and they need to fix it and try to control their anger and reaction to something they don't like. So they want to get together again. Even in marriage life mistakes, tiffs happen and if you are committed to stay and hold on a relationship. You will need to hold on. Moving on is easy. Staying back needs strength and selfless love. Which according to me is more important...N
The very thing happened to me.. literally exactly 2 weeks.. and the response was “I can’t make any promises”.. that was 8 months ago.. been officially divorced for 3 weeks
The ultimate question will be: What kind of relationship that you want to have and how you train yourself to be the right one and meet the right one. Sometimes, taking an ex back is not the best
Cuz they learned and see things from a different perspective. They took time to realize what they did was wrong, sometimes from hindsight he probably couldn't believe he did anything like that. He flipped 180° on the opposite spectrum and now has so many ideas and goals to make it so much better. From that point there is only one way to go and that's up, he might even skyrocket to places u never imagined yourself. I can go on n on but it takes a loss to know what u had sometimes
I let my ex husband back 3 times over about 15 years. When I finally got brave enough to fully escape he complained that I had “never given [him] a chance” I LOL’ed at that and asked him to explain-I just couldn’t wait to hear this…he said that all the other times he had been lying to me about changing, so since he actually meant it this time he claimed that I was obliged to give him a chance. I did not!
@@Alaskathelastfrontier yes, she should be proud to have left a lying azzhole. You, on other hand, should be ashamed of yourself, for your ridiculous comment!
That’s very true! In my experience a person needs at least 6mon to truly go thru any kind of change. Anything less is the same old person wanting to go thru the same old cycle with you. And even after 6mon if they’re not really self aware to being with then I seriously doubt they did the work required to shed that old energy they had🥲
I did it with my ex because I was trauma bonded. She made me think there was something wrong with me and got offended by everything and gaslit me to the point where I would react to her emotionally. Never again…
I was in an abusive marriage for almost 10yrs.... he never changed , he would hit me, assault me, then apologise and say it was all my fault. I finally left him 4yrs ago, and the day i left he messaged me saying, come back i cant leave without you, i dont know what i did wrong but i will never do it again....1st he didn't change in 10yrs and he suddenly changed in 1day? 2nd he said tht he didnt know what he did wrong i mean seriously?
I grew up in a home with an abuser stepdad…that’s exactly what he would do to my mom. The cycle of an abuser: insulting, belittling, hitting, remorse (making empty promises), and then the honeymoon stage…until they’re trigger again and it all starts again!🙄 You’re so smart to get off that roller coaster and walk away! They never change without true physiological help!
@@TS-iq2rg that’s true! My stepdad always told my mom that it was her fault that he had to “go there”! My mom finally had enough and also walked away. She can’t believe that she stayed as long as she did!
@@maryv.6545 they never accept their mistake. They will insult, hit and apologise after but will make sure to say that it was our fault they lost their temper. Few weeks b4 i left my ex, he hit my 14 month old boy because he was crawling, then he said it was my fault because i put him on the floor.
not always the case sometimes people have epiphanies that make them realize errors or otherwise if its meant to be it will be if you give them a chance just beware without becoming b---y so it is genuine but if you say No then your intuition is same for both yes or no follow your intuition
If he wanted to work things out he should have said hey i see we having issues lets figure it out. Not lets break up. Breaking up means its done forever! No fixing
He didn’t hurt me nor did I hurt him. His job was moving him out of the country to inhospitable dangerous places. It’s circumstance that is separating us so we stay in touch. We still really care for each other.
Never take an ex back, it's like.. giving someone who already shot you once, a loaded gun to shoot your @ss down again. It's the most stupidest thing you will ever do. It's better to get your heart-broken by a stranger who you never met before than someone who already has shown their true colours.
You are so correct and I couldn't say this anymore like you really do help my life everyday and keep on doing what you're doing you're inspiring me to be a better person and to understand what love really is
Because sometimes good man's that made mistakes can learn from it and try to be better, I'm talking about mistakes that can be tolerant not violent things not abusive things! I'm talking more of insecureness things that a man/female need more time and patient to handle with like most of us. We all do wrong during a relationship once awhile, it doesn't mean that we not love the other person.
We have gone back together the reasons we broke up wasn’t because we didn’t love each other it was that he wanted children I was not ready down that, I wanted to be financially stable. A year has passed we did alot of soul searching I focused on me, in 2024 we rekindled back but I did a lot of thinking 3-4 months before I even considered taking him back. We are in a good space, sometimes people need a break away to figure things out no couple is perfect. But my spiritual beliefs has helped me sort my own stuff out. A relationship is two people regardless of who left Ask yourself What was your part in the relationship No one just leaves with no reason, but that’s just me. This is my life’s choices whatever comes my way I’ll accept it.
Wow! Matthew and Jay, 2 power guys together coaching us on the return of our exes. 2 weeks is too short for us to get our emotions back together after a breakup. We are still raw and we cant think properly. Thank you for this advice. ! Say NO to the ex .
Sometimes just the fear of realizing you can change things easily buy you never really communicated what was happening so if there was time you know you would not struggle with those little problems no more
💯 why would I ?? And why do some find it so hard when it over it’s over ?? Always an Ex for a reason.. one thing woman don’t like is an Ex creeping around her.. accidentally going to the places she gos we shouldn’t have to change our routines.. because they don’t know the meaning of the word No!!
The worry of someone coming back like that is that they might need this type of strong emotion , adrenaline, to start acting. Meaning if there are mild issues in the relationships they will be a hard person to work with, as there might be no imput. They might only work under extreme circumstances.
It’s different because the reason he left was not because of any cheating it was because he felt that we were never gonna he any children together he wanted to be a father for so long. For me i wasn’t yet ready, I have been on a spiritual journey have asked God who is the only person i seek guidance from to help me and heal. He puts this man before me you don’t question God you just have to seek the answers you want. He has been messaging and texting and has meet up a few times with me and we have had a great time together it wasn’t forced we didn’t plan to we were respectful which each others boundaries I can’t explain it but 8 months of soul searching and healing keeps bringing us together our faith has healed us He came back after 8 months even though he told me he wanted to come back 3 months ago. He never made me feel uncomfortable but I want all of him if I can’t then he needs to move out of the way so that I can be with the person who is truly for me.
Well to list a few Im getting couciling now, a job working out being motivated an working on my insecurities, just a shame she won't talk to me anymore. Its too late. I hurt her once. Now I'll never be able to hurt anyone again.
I say that if you having walked with a person and know the unknown you can't speak on a relationship if you haven't been on the streets with faith, love an every emotional support is brought in place your not in love and that rather you are young couples or older couples they want love it shall eventually lose it way an fade.. love you more than words or phrases proof is not necessary if you shown more than expected already if that person ask you back its because the lord chooses your answer is because your choices no one elses and the lord shall answer if there ready
The only instance that it would be different this time would be that you found the love of your life. YOU! And he did too in the same way. His actions to you were the reflection of how you were loving yourself. It’s the golden rule, but what people fail to realize is that THROUGH loving your own self do you love others. Everyone is loving others and throwing themselves to the dogs, quite literally. Look at all the poor puppy dogs. I will externalize my inability to cope with reality, my abandonment/abuse issues of the past and buy the dog that will love me. Through this my savior comes to rescue me. 🤦♂️
Maybe it's different for every single person out there..... For me he meant everything to me , he misunderstood me for something n he said he lost everything becoz of me , I I've put all my effort for him, that hurts like hell bruh...... N when he was the one to propose
Words are free. The least one can do is use them to express people what they mean to you. One cannot do that because we aren't that important to say something or basic good things. Just "I will change" not being sure what they mean means nothing. Empty words!
Dear friend very well said. However, when you truly love someone, you don't cheat - because this is no1 reason for break-ups. Additionally a narc man or woman - no2 reason for break-ups - never change. Never go back. Second chances lead to total disasters.
Such a good question to ask I asked him the same question he gave me bullshit answers because he’s good at lying and I believed him 4 times this time I ended it I finally saw through his lies and my own worth
Achieve Financial Freedom: bit.ly/45Ovrmm
Sometimes 'they want you back' because they dont want anyone else to have you
That part lol! 😂😂😂😂
I keeeeeeeppp saying this to my now 50th time ex!!! 😂 nothings changed in 4 years 😫😫😫😫😫😫😫
Exactly.
Its because their ego is hurt. They think they own their partner and take them for granted and when the partner leaves they "feel" hurt.
This is so true. I just left my relationship of 14 years. There was alot of reasons I stayed with him.but enough was enough. I would rather be alone then deal with what I was dealing with.
Emotional safety is so underrated. It's *so* important!
EXTREMELY. I’ve experienced this in my only relationship. So hard for me to be morsels and open up
😊😊😊😊
How do I ask for this?
No matter how much the snake sheds it’s skin the venom is the same!
Damn that hit hard 😦
❤️❤️❤️
❤️
Wtf that gotta do when a man finally sees he was wrong and grows immensely from there and skyrockets up from there with a 180° diff view and perspective... MAYBE ASK WHY HE WOULD DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE??
I've been through quite a few breakups. And trust me, if you really want that person back, you're going to have to put the work in. You have to face the ugly truth and work on yourself. Sometimes you don't get your way, but what will happen is the growth in yourself for the next person. Actions speak volumes. And sometimes the lack of the actions that caused the problems do too.
👏🏽👏🏽
What if u kn your mistakes and u want to be a better person, and u want to fix them and correct them, if u will grow and be a better person, will I be then worthy enough to ask her again
@promizir4799 As long as she is willing and wants to explore that territory with you again and you're both on the same path. It could work out. And it's not just about you being worthy. Both parties bringing worth is important. What that looks like is up to the both of you collectively. Ask yourself this. How do I show up for my partner the way she wants me to show up? How does she want to be loved? That goes for how you want to be loved also. There needs to be lots of conversations and openness. And actually listening to each other without interrupting and assumptions. You can try using a timer, giving each other room to talk. And then repeat what she said and how you view it from your point of view. And she can tell you that's what she meant or she can tell you that's not what she meant. It takes work and lots of practice. I would start by finding out each other's love language. It will change the way you approach all relationships.
@@GordonBFit thanks 🙏🏻
Acknowledging my own value through the break up woke me up to a heartbreaking reality. If I would date myself, would I treat myself in the same way?
@Teh Psychedelic I think so. Even with self love can come with tough decisions I guess. I do not like conflict and I do not fear difficult conversations. My experience with difficult conversations is that when discussed openly and fairly between both partners there really aren’t many difficult conversations.
It’s just like ripping off the bandaid so to speak. Or is it because the door has been opened to talk without judgement? And trust has been gained on another level. Creating a deeper connection and expansion in one’s relationship. That is the ultimate relationship.
It’s unfortunate so many are afraid to take such a worthwhile risk. I will take that risk over and over again to find the one who sees the value in taking that risk with me… endless hope. 🧘♀️ 😊❤️
@Teh Psychedelic thank you and you as well. 😊
Never let someone dump you twice 🙌🏻👏🏻💪🏻
We broke up because he didn’t wanted to get married, after 1 year apart he proposed begging for forgiveness. After another year, he broke my heart again saying he wasn’t serious about it. Why are some people so horrible?
He was scared of commitment
that's horrible
Probably an avoidant. Not sure. If not that extreme surely commitment phobic or emotionally unavailable. I am sorry you had to go through that😢. Hope you're healed now❤.
@ellenanttu he wanted you back so he told you what you wanted to hear even though he wasn't ready.
I have had something even worse but we are all healing aren't we? U go girl
Sometimes people need space to appreciate each other more the next time around. So they can see what life without the person is, and if they don’t like it they get back together. There’s nothing wrong with getting back with an ex if you’ve both grown and the relationship can become stronger being you know what life without each other is like.
Two weeks later = the sidepiece he was secretly pursuing dumped him.
Exactly! He got kicked off the couch he was couch surfing on. If you notice, they hardly ever have to break a lease to move back in with the ex.
THIS.
Haha good, I hope you are well tho now🙌👍👊
Yea, you’re right
So true!!! Exactly what has just happened to me...
Sometimes when you aren't sure how you feel about someome, you break up and that's exactly what helped you understand how much he/she actually means to you. People tend to take someone for granted just for the mere fact that they are used to them and their existance in their life, but when you let go of the person and you realise that you never want to be without them again. People don't always break up with you for a malicious reason, sometimes opening yourself up to someone, making yourself vulnerable to them in orderr for love to flow is scary, because you know that when you allow them in they have the power to hurt you.
That's perfectly fine. However. The problem is, they get the person back and continue doing the same thing thay caused them to lose that person in the first place.
I love all that you say they mean a lot you must be a very kind person at heart
@@kayjeffs3741 but also it is possible that you might not know what you want. In terms of you might be afraid of it. For example infidelity and divorce is so common these days, that if you are a child of parents that may have had affairs, may have gotten divorced etc. you might be so afraid of that happening to you, that you think being alone is a safer option. Only then to realise that you are not the same without that person in your life.
My Ex-husband pulled that on me the very next day after I left him. He was panicked and said that ONLY in hopes I'd believe him. Thank God I found the strength to continue walking away 🙏 I've rebuilt a magical existence since then which I truly have to thank him for because his actions and words of abuse allowed me to see that I wasn't loving nor respecting myself
Omg I'm going thru the samething and I let him go .
@@loveshopping8497you guys are such strong and beautiful queens!!! We stan women who leave their husbands 😍😍😍 cuz who gives ash about the promise you made to God in front of all your loved ones 🥰
Wow, much truth in this... this is exactly what happened to me. My ex came to me 2 weeks after I left him lol. Cried and said it will be different. Me having compassion I said okay I believe you. Lol. 2 months later he fell back to his old ways. Haha. Lesson learn ladies. I honestly say it really given me the strength to value myself and putting my own self first!... no more. Keep strong to whoever is going through the same struggle.❤️
Thank you for this info. Keep this in mind.
it's very true 👍🏼
he came back after 1month and said he has changed...bt when I refused to go back to him...he used abusive language and asked for all the expense he had done for me...I don't know in what type of relationship I was😅Now I am afraid of falling in love again.
I truly believe the tiger does not change his stripes. My ex came back and has said he’s changed. I told him that I need more of an assurance than that before taking him back.
@@PujaChakraborty0309what A DICK!!! ewww!!! I feel you! I have gone through the same things you said in your comment
Usually...it's NOTHING. Nothing has changed, sadly.
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Sometimes they want you back so that they can take revenge by throwing you hard enough to break into pieces that you won't even be able to count pieces.
That s what happened to me .. stupid I gave him a chance !
@@elisabettabubola4927 that's why you are done with someone, you should be done! No taking back.
So much truth 😮 that's why never go back, never😢.....
My ex contacted me a month ago. It's been 9months since the break up. I wanted to know what changed? He had contact with me for about a month and cancelled few times to meet up and talk about it.
Moral of the story....set your boundaries and standards. Don't let people come back into your life when they aren't even willing to prioritize time with you.
Honestly... he just wanted to sleep with you again. #Smh Everyone please especially ladies get the book on Amazon titled... WE DON’T DATE FOREVER... WE GET MARRIED ❤️⭐️🙏🏼
@@naomieberhardt3931 I disagree. We never slept together. Please don't assume
@@CatsCorral2019 I have lived on this earth for a long time and when someone says their ex most of the time they’ve been in a personal relationship ....so please excuse me for assuming. 🙏🏼I wrote the book on relationships. ❤️ You are a rarity! I commend you for that.⭐️ if you had an ex and you did not have a intimate relationship with him, 🤔...bravo to you 🤗... it saved you a lot of mental and physical heartache. ❤️⭐️🙏🏼
@@CatsCorral2019Why didn't you, are you 12?
@@89kilemal you're being rude and disrespectful. Maybe she wants to wait until marriage.
I will never get back with someone who wasn’t sure of me. If you didn’t want me then you can’t have me now.
Comment section here is so enlightening
Best thing I have ever done for myself was purposely just stop seeking to fill the void I felt by being on my own. Instead I let the pain surface and be done with it.
Thanks to people that helped.
A good reason to ask is, “Are they back because they actually realized they threw a good relationship away or are they back because they are lonely & realize it’s hard to be single again?”
This is the ultimate reason why a lot of men end up coming back. It’s one of the other. The former, make sure they understand what needs to change, make sure they prove it & let them know the first sign you see them going back to their old ways you’re permanently done or they go to therapy.
But if it’s the latter? Do not take them back. Being lonely isn’t fun, starting over again isn’t either. But it’s no excuse to come back & settle with you if you two aren’t a good fit and they don’t want to be alone, have easy access to your body, and not change or heal things about themselves.
So always make sure you know WHY they are truly coming backs.
How do you figure out what their motive is??
Sometimes they want you back because they are just messing with you
Sometimes, they want you back only 'cause they want to see if they can get you back. It's usually worse the second time around. They're okay in the beginning but the relationship spirals downward fast, and then you have to break up with them again. It's best to move on.
Believe this is happening to me now
Sometimes they come back so they can finish you off
😂😂😂😂
These two together? Co-creation at its best 👌
Sorry .. its best 😅
Yeah just fixed that thank you 😊
I don’t take them back because they have shown me who they are and I just can’t relive the past or go backwards.
If he jeopardizes you once, he will jeopardize you again. If he didn’t invest and protect the first time, he sure as hell won’t the next or the next next. Know your WORTH and RESPECT YOURSELF enough to say no thank you to round 2, round 547 ….
❤❤❤
Hello
This is exactly what I will say and have been thinking 💭 if our lives pass again if not I thank you for leaving so I can have happiness again
"What is it that's different about (YOU) this time to make me safe?"
Not every situation is the same.. maybe because they both was in a relationship, and they didn’t understand if they were gonna be meant to be entirely recognize that is worth fighting for
Thank you for telling me exactly what to say to my ex when he comes back. Or tries to anyway.
Give it time and prove that you have learnt from the mistakes that was made during the relationship.
This is exactly, the question I have had to let it sink in my mind and understand that sometimes people will always be who they are, so let them be and move on...period!
I broke up with my ex, and got back with him. No one had changed. But now I know it was because I was in love with the potential of having a family, rather than loving peace and tranquility. Now we've both moved on, we're in a much better place (we have a child together)
I want you back bc I realized how much of a loss it would be to loose you and how much my life would change without you in ways I don't want
💓 thissss
Difference is after a bad breakup, people think about what went wrong from them and not from the other person. So feeling guilt about all the wrong things they did they realize, mistake was from both the sides and they need to fix it and try to control their anger and reaction to something they don't like.
So they want to get together again. Even in marriage life mistakes, tiffs happen and if you are committed to stay and hold on a relationship. You will need to hold on. Moving on is easy. Staying back needs strength and selfless love. Which according to me is more important...N
because people get mature people learn from their mistakes 😝
This is actually true. Sometimes it took that moment to hit rock bottom and realize their mistakes
The very thing happened to me.. literally exactly 2 weeks.. and the response was “I can’t make any promises”.. that was 8 months ago.. been officially divorced for 3 weeks
I'm about to use this piece of information right now😂
The ultimate question will be:
What kind of relationship that you want to have and how you train yourself to be the right one and meet the right one.
Sometimes, taking an ex back is not the best
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Hello
Cuz they learned and see things from a different perspective. They took time to realize what they did was wrong, sometimes from hindsight he probably couldn't believe he did anything like that. He flipped 180° on the opposite spectrum and now has so many ideas and goals to make it so much better. From that point there is only one way to go and that's up, he might even skyrocket to places u never imagined yourself. I can go on n on but it takes a loss to know what u had sometimes
Easy. Sometimes you have to lose something to get a real sense of how you feel about it. Once you know you can begin apologise and rebuild
One of the biggest mistakes of my life was taking him back, walk away. who you choose as a partner can change your life for better or worse
Always enriching to hear him talk sense about relationships ❤
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Hello
I let my ex husband back 3 times over about 15 years. When I finally got brave enough to fully escape he complained that I had “never given [him] a chance” I LOL’ed at that and asked him to explain-I just couldn’t wait to hear this…he said that all the other times he had been lying to me about changing, so since he actually meant it this time he claimed that I was obliged to give him a chance. I did not!
And u feel proud? Congrats
Boohoo do you feel like you accomplish sum
Tf?
@@Alaskathelastfrontier Oh heck yea bay bee! You have no idea.
Even though his response was disgusting….it was hilarious! Good on you for leaving him.
@@Alaskathelastfrontier yes, she should be proud to have left a lying azzhole. You, on other hand, should be ashamed of yourself, for your ridiculous comment!
The audacity (him) ._.
That’s very true! In my experience a person needs at least 6mon to truly go thru any kind of change. Anything less is the same old person wanting to go thru the same old cycle with you. And even after 6mon if they’re not really self aware to being with then I seriously doubt they did the work required to shed that old energy they had🥲
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Hello
These 2 are the best life coaches hands down
I did it with my ex because I was trauma bonded. She made me think there was something wrong with me and got offended by everything and gaslit me to the point where I would react to her emotionally. Never again…
I think alot of relationships are perpetrator bond or trauma but we perceive it as love sadly
I was in an abusive marriage for almost 10yrs.... he never changed , he would hit me, assault me, then apologise and say it was all my fault. I finally left him 4yrs ago, and the day i left he messaged me saying, come back i cant leave without you, i dont know what i did wrong but i will never do it again....1st he didn't change in 10yrs and he suddenly changed in 1day? 2nd he said tht he didnt know what he did wrong i mean seriously?
I grew up in a home with an abuser stepdad…that’s exactly what he would do to my mom. The cycle of an abuser: insulting, belittling, hitting, remorse (making empty promises), and then the honeymoon stage…until they’re trigger again and it all starts again!🙄
You’re so smart to get off that roller coaster and walk away! They never change without true physiological help!
@@maryv.6545 I dont think therapy would help, because they don't accept their fault. For them they are doing nothing wrong.
@@TS-iq2rg that’s true! My stepdad always told my mom that it was her fault that he had to “go there”! My mom finally had enough and also walked away. She can’t believe that she stayed as long as she did!
@@maryv.6545 they never accept their mistake. They will insult, hit and apologise after but will make sure to say that it was our fault they lost their temper. Few weeks b4 i left my ex, he hit my 14 month old boy because he was crawling, then he said it was my fault because i put him on the floor.
@@maryv.6545
Now they call that behaviour Narcissism.
DONT TAKE THEM BACK. It’s a CYCLE THAT CAN NEVER BE BROKEN. You’ll be HURT AGAIN
Completely wrong!!!
Wish i saw this 1 yr and half ago:(
they can usually come up with an excuse for that too. and lure you back in.
not always the case sometimes people have epiphanies that make them realize errors or otherwise
if its meant to be it will be if you give them a chance just beware without becoming b---y so it is genuine but if you say No then your intuition is same for both yes or no follow your intuition
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Hello
He says because it has helped him see how life is without his family 😢
If he wanted to work things out he should have said hey i see we having issues lets figure it out. Not lets break up. Breaking up means its done forever! No fixing
He didn’t hurt me nor did I hurt him. His job was moving him out of the country to inhospitable dangerous places. It’s circumstance that is separating us so we stay in touch. We still really care for each other.
Sometimes people should be allowed a second chance.
Agreed. When you love someone, it's hard not to. So give them that second chance if you want. But know your worth and self respect.
Never take an ex back, it's like..
giving someone who already shot you once, a loaded gun to shoot your @ss down again.
It's the most stupidest thing you will ever do.
It's better to get your heart-broken by a stranger who you never met before than someone who already has shown their true colours.
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You are so correct and I couldn't say this anymore like you really do help my life everyday and keep on doing what you're doing you're inspiring me to be a better person and to understand what love really is
It doesn’t matter why, if he’s abusing you, the answer is no.
Because sometimes good man's that made mistakes can learn from it and try to be better, I'm talking about mistakes that can be tolerant not violent things not abusive things! I'm talking more of insecureness things that a man/female need more time and patient to handle with like most of us.
We all do wrong during a relationship once awhile, it doesn't mean that we not love the other person.
We have gone back together the reasons we broke up wasn’t because we didn’t love each other it was that he wanted children I was not ready down that, I wanted to be financially stable.
A year has passed we did alot of soul searching I focused on me, in 2024 we rekindled back but I did a lot of thinking 3-4 months before I even considered taking him back.
We are in a good space, sometimes people need a break away to figure things out no couple is perfect. But my spiritual beliefs has helped me sort my own stuff out. A relationship is two people regardless of who left
Ask yourself
What was your part in the relationship
No one just leaves with no reason, but that’s just me. This is my life’s choices whatever comes my way I’ll accept it.
Excellent point.
What a combo J n Matt....
Wow! Matthew and Jay, 2 power guys together coaching us on the return of our exes. 2 weeks is too short for us to get our emotions back together after a breakup. We are still raw and we cant think properly. Thank you for this advice. ! Say NO to the ex .
Sometimes just the fear of realizing you can change things easily buy you never really communicated what was happening so if there was time you know you would not struggle with those little problems no more
💯 why would I ?? And why do some find it so hard when it over it’s over ?? Always an Ex for a reason.. one thing woman don’t like is an Ex creeping around her.. accidentally going to the places she gos we shouldn’t have to change our routines.. because they don’t know the meaning of the word No!!
I have done this actively actually now. I want the anger to go away but it’s all the same thing 😢
The worry of someone coming back like that is that they might need this type of strong emotion , adrenaline, to start acting. Meaning if there are mild issues in the relationships they will be a hard person to work with, as there might be no imput. They might only work under extreme circumstances.
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I agree with you about that
Can't thank you enough for this peice of advise, lots of love
THAT MFKN PART!
It’s different because the reason he left was not because of any cheating it was because he felt that we were never gonna he any children together he wanted to be a father for so long.
For me i wasn’t yet ready, I have been on a spiritual journey have asked God who is the only person i seek guidance from to help me and heal. He puts this man before me you don’t question God you just have to seek the answers you want.
He has been messaging and texting and has meet up a few times with me and we have had a great time together it wasn’t forced we didn’t plan to we were respectful which each others boundaries I can’t explain it but 8 months of soul searching and healing keeps bringing us together our faith has healed us
He came back after 8 months even though he told me he wanted to come back 3 months ago. He never made me feel uncomfortable but I want all of him if I can’t then he needs to move out of the way so that I can be with the person who is truly for me.
And when someone tells what they'll do, always know that they're most likely lying
Isnt it the question should be, " do i still love you this time the way i love you back then..?"
All things work out through GOD so trust his path if it brings two people back who grew and learned self awareness I don’t see why it wouldn’t work
Well to list a few Im getting couciling now, a job working out being motivated an working on my insecurities, just a shame she won't talk to me anymore. Its too late. I hurt her once. Now I'll never be able to hurt anyone again.
I like the way you think 💯💯💯
I'm SINGLE😂😅
Jay ... so much hair ... Congrats ♡
Two such beautiful men
I say that if you having walked with a person and know the unknown you can't speak on a relationship if you haven't been on the streets with faith, love an every emotional support is brought in place your not in love and that rather you are young couples or older couples they want love it shall eventually lose it way an fade.. love you more than words or phrases proof is not necessary if you shown more than expected already if that person ask you back its because the lord chooses your answer is because your choices no one elses and the lord shall answer if there ready
Beautiful 🥰 💯 real facts
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The only instance that it would be different this time would be that you found the love of your life. YOU! And he did too in the same way. His actions to you were the reflection of how you were loving yourself. It’s the golden rule, but what people fail to realize is that THROUGH loving your own self do you love others. Everyone is loving others and throwing themselves to the dogs, quite literally. Look at all the poor puppy dogs. I will externalize my inability to cope with reality, my abandonment/abuse issues of the past and buy the dog that will love me. Through this my savior comes to rescue me. 🤦♂️
It is never ever safe
She came back after 3 months and I asked all the questions and she gave all the right answers but I still got screwed in the end.
Love it! Thank you.
Matthew you are awesome ❤
I assume what would be different this time is that I will know that I can have you back, so it might be even worse than the first time. 😵💫
Yes this is the truth
Maybe it's different for every single person out there..... For me he meant everything to me , he misunderstood me for something n he said he lost everything becoz of me , I I've put all my effort for him, that hurts like hell bruh...... N when he was the one to propose
Beautiful .
Very wise advice.
Omg jay shetty and Matt hussey
This is true Matthew
This helped me a shit ton thanks ❤
;)
At this point I wish he never asked to stay together after the first break up. Because two months later it was a worse breakup and I’m not okay!
Matthew and Jay awesome combinaton
Words are free. The least one can do is use them to express people what they mean to you.
One cannot do that because we aren't that important to say something or basic good things.
Just "I will change" not being sure what they mean means nothing. Empty words!
Dear friend very well said. However, when you truly love someone, you don't cheat - because this is no1 reason for break-ups. Additionally a narc man or woman - no2 reason for break-ups - never change. Never go back. Second chances lead to total disasters.
I didn't think of it like that but its soooo true
Such a good question to ask I asked him the same question he gave me bullshit answers because he’s good at lying and I believed him 4 times this time I ended it I finally saw through his lies and my own worth