Grief Expert Shares The Worst Thing to Do After Heartbreak

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  • Опубліковано 14 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 268

  • @R_iaaa
    @R_iaaa Місяць тому +544

    You should NEVER send them that closure text or reply to a breadcrumbing text ever. I replied to my ex’s text after 70 fuckin days of no contact, thinking that I was absolutely over him, but fuck my life, I saw his indifference again and spiralled, almost like I’d never even begun to heal. DONOT reach out to them ever once it’s over, no matter how much time has passed, it’ll never do you any good, no matter what. Trust me when I say this.

    • @WithAnEss
      @WithAnEss Місяць тому +39

      it has been 308 days of no contact. And yes, I just said this out loud, with a huge smile on my face. My smile was missing with the narc.
      Take care of yourself, and no more contact, ever!

    • @YukiCamui425
      @YukiCamui425 Місяць тому +39

      Totally agree with you. No one has to give closure to someone that broke your heart. I’ve been through the exact same situation and I chose not to reply back when he texted not because I didn’t care; it was because I wanted that person to know that abandoning me, ghosting me, and not answering me for an entire year was never ok. To whom ever is going through the same situation, don’t give closure to anyone unless you want to, not because it’s necessary to move on. Take a step back and think through before making that choice for yourself. Your self-worth is more important than the person who hurt you ❤

    • @orielwiggins2225
      @orielwiggins2225 Місяць тому +24

      I feel that pain. And I hope you have found that with 2+months of no contact your reaction and spiraling is already starting to be shorter and maybe less intense. It's not sobriety tho, it's healing, when we're putting in the work it might feel like a major setback to square one, but it's not. You noticed it and it strengthened your resolve. I'm not trying to be overly positive about this at all, just letting you lie that you're right to feel the way you do and please be gentle with yourself as you walk thru this healing and a shift in perspective can often help us when we're knocked down into a pit again and feel like all the 70 days was for nothing. I know it feels like it, I've been there way too many times and need reminded when I'm there, it's not for nothing at all. It's not back at the start, it's more like a hurdle we didn't clear that put us on the ground hurting again. So of course it feels similar to the beginning of healing. But we are this far into the journey already and we didn't lose that ground, just learned the hard way that wasn't the way over that hurdle. You're doing great and may we all be healing more each day.

    • @johnsonjj117
      @johnsonjj117 Місяць тому +8

      My problem is mine isn’t going anywhere, she’s the mother of my child and has a way of disarming everyone around her

    • @orielwiggins2225
      @orielwiggins2225 Місяць тому +5

      @@johnsonjj117 ugh. I'm so sorry. That's my ex. Smooth, cunning and turns everyone to his favor when I was trying to avoid therw being sides at all. I'm sorry.

  • @jrwheeler81
    @jrwheeler81 Місяць тому +104

    I just turned 43 last week and my husband, whom I was with for a total of 22 years (since I was only 18), passed away very suddenly and unexpectedly a little over 2 years ago in June of 2022. I cannot even begin to describe the state of paralyzing shock I was in for the first several months after he passed. It was completely unexpected, and he was only 52 (he had just turned 52 a few weeks before his passing). Fast forward to early March of 2023, I met and fell madly in love with my now boyfriend of the last 19 months. I couldn't imagine my life without him. He has completely changed my life in ways that I never thought were possible. I honestly don't know how I ever lived without him! My biggest fear was always losing the ones that I love (my parents, close friends, romantic partner, pets, etc.). He, himself, actually had a near death experience in 2017 and he has really taught me to live in the present and stop living in perpetual anxiety over losing people. He always says to me, "We're all going to die. I've already died once, but I came back, and I'm going to die again. So are you! Live in the present and enjoy where you're at." The BEST advice ever.

    • @lamisschiheb
      @lamisschiheb Місяць тому +7

      Wow such a great great advice he gave you here❤
      You're so strong for being able to go through that, being anxious after all of this can only be natural you're doing good

    • @deepaknambisan3251
      @deepaknambisan3251 Місяць тому +5

      I am so sorry. You are doing absolutely amazingly xx

  • @Jonnybrooks-c7n
    @Jonnybrooks-c7n 22 дні тому +286

    Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

    • @DorothyAngers
      @DorothyAngers 22 дні тому

      its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back

    • @Jonnybrooks-c7n
      @Jonnybrooks-c7n 22 дні тому

      Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?

    • @DorothyAngers
      @DorothyAngers 22 дні тому

      Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

    • @Jonnybrooks-c7n
      @Jonnybrooks-c7n 22 дні тому

      Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive

    • @chuckbyrge9909
      @chuckbyrge9909 14 днів тому

      I’m exactly there. It is unbearable

  • @sani_i
    @sani_i Місяць тому +46

    “fear doesn't stop death, fear stops life”
    “our mind would always rather feel guilty than helpless”

  • @gailsparrovv
    @gailsparrovv 27 днів тому +19

    "The worst grief is always yours." Simple and profound.

  • @WatYaGonnaDo
    @WatYaGonnaDo Місяць тому +36

    “The wisdom to heal is within us.”

  • @biasedknowledge
    @biasedknowledge Місяць тому +30

    The way you explained how our minds prefer guilt over helplessness reminds me of the illusion of control. We so often try to impose meaning on situations that are out of our control, like blaming ourselves for outcomes that were never within our power to begin with. A friend of mine struggled for years with guilt after her father’s passing, thinking she should’ve done more, but hearing that guilt is a false sense of control could be such a freeing revelation. Thank you for bringing such clarity to a deeply painful emotion

  • @HooieBones3
    @HooieBones3 Місяць тому +49

    Having lost both a partner and a child to death the issue of guilt is real. There is always the “could’ve, should’ve” going on in my mind. With my husband I regretted not showing him how much I appreciated all he did for me while he was alive. He needed that reassurance. Also, I wasn’t there for him when he passed in the ICU after life supports were withdrawn. I thought to myself, “He’s a tough man, he will be here in the morning.” He wasn’t. As for my adult child. She passed away from suicide. As a parent I will always wonder what I did wrong. I suffered prolonged pain. As time passes I am trying the best I can to practice gratitude and be grateful for having these beautiful souls in my life.

    • @orielwiggins2225
      @orielwiggins2225 Місяць тому +8

      Heartbreaking is such an anemic word for these, and I'm so sorry. Which also feels pretty unhelpfully weak. Sending you peace love and rest for your heart mind buddy and spirit! ❤

    • @Lonelydad2
      @Lonelydad2 Місяць тому +7

      So sorry for your loss sending prayers up for you and yours

    • @iamhiptwo7016
      @iamhiptwo7016 13 днів тому +3

      I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you love and peace.

  • @aman5344
    @aman5344 Місяць тому +33

    "Fear stops the relationship".
    Learnt this the hard way.

  • @jimjam_games5783
    @jimjam_games5783 Місяць тому +21

    Don't blame yourself for being imperfect and dont second guess yourself. They could and should have communicated their concerns at any point when it was early on and healthy to do so. If they choose to repress resentment and pretend everything is great to self preserve and then blindside you, YOU and your mistakes were NEVER the problem. Their lack of communication was. We all know after the fact that those issues would have been easily resolved if we KNEW our love was at risk. They didn't tell us. That's on them.

    • @He1iconia
      @He1iconia Місяць тому

      👏👏👏

    • @itirdumlu
      @itirdumlu 18 днів тому

      Can't be more real. Thanks for this

    • @aradaz
      @aradaz 22 години тому

      That is exactly what happened to me 😔

  • @beccabean5770
    @beccabean5770 Місяць тому +5

    I listened to both videos with David Kessler & they were so impactful. His testimony, resiliance, and humor touched my heart.
    I appreciated his re-framing of how we look at situations, time-lines, and our life in general. To be self-accepting and start where we are now.
    Him validating that our grief is hard for us because it is what we are experiencing, showed compassion.
    The stove falling on some of us...wow yes.
    I resonated with his example of grieving the parent you had...and the one you didn't have. It is painful when they are alive and you have this ongoing grief to process.
    Estrangement is painful when you are willing to have a relationship but the other person makes no effort, are neglectful & rejecting.
    Thank you so much for these recordings, they helped me.

  • @robertashaffer3950
    @robertashaffer3950 21 день тому +3

    David had me laughing & crying almost simultaneously.
    Wow! Wisdom. Depth. Compassion. Realism. Exactitude. And what a no nonsense approach.
    Thank you David.
    I received so much from this video 🙏🙏

  • @cathywoo44
    @cathywoo44 Місяць тому +31

    One of the VERY BEST interviews I've seen! So appreciate David's light, hilarious humor on such a dark topic. 😂 More so, grateful for his educated insight.

  • @ValerieGaster
    @ValerieGaster Місяць тому +8

    This is extremely powerful. I wanted to be at this retreat and intuitively decided not to go. My mom passed on the 10th. It was good to be home. I've listened to it twice today and shared it with many. It covers a multitude of grieving. Bravo and much love for your openness to help others and not stay in the cobwebbed house. 🙏👍

  • @noah1502
    @noah1502 Місяць тому +16

    his discussion topics and advice are so calming and reassuring. I appreciate this man for doing what he does ❤

  • @MaryannNunes
    @MaryannNunes Місяць тому +4

    Beautiful amazing words amazing I lost my husband 4 years ago and still dealing with the grief thanks for the videos they're helping

  • @raymondtalisic8292
    @raymondtalisic8292 18 днів тому +1

    I pray I can speak to a professional for my severe depression. I just feel sad having to think that I was left alone in this great melancholy. It's sad when you seek help from people, but all are busy. I pray.

  • @xz_resilience_zx
    @xz_resilience_zx Місяць тому +5

    This Video is soooooo helpful. I stuck in the guilt spiral and the proximate causation. Now that I know about it, I can change it. The blank paper that was given to me by life hasn't to be tinted with guilt and shame. Thaaaaank you so very much.

  • @jesenikm
    @jesenikm 21 день тому +1

    I started crying. Thank you for this.

  • @lisapardini3594
    @lisapardini3594 Місяць тому +4

    A wonderful, wonderful, video. David Kessler is so insightful and has a heart just bursting with compassion. I pre-ordered his workbook as soon as I finished watching this video.

  • @lauragraceramos
    @lauragraceramos Місяць тому +2

    David is a witty and engaging speaker, with great little nuggets of wisdom. Great video, thanks for this!

  • @jossfangirl
    @jossfangirl Місяць тому +5

    "We are here to love the wrong people - to replicate the wounds to finally heal them." What if you did it right? Accept. And move on.

  • @SueDamron
    @SueDamron Місяць тому +4

    Wow!!!! Standing ovation!! Incredible content in this beautiful interview! My soul was deeply moved throughout!! Such a blessing!! Thank you!!! ❤

  • @kimcooper1833
    @kimcooper1833 11 днів тому

    David is a true channeler.

  • @deepaknambisan3251
    @deepaknambisan3251 Місяць тому +1

    Wonderful video. Book ordered. I am in tears, and feeling both humbled and inspired by what I have heard tonight.

  • @MaryannNunes
    @MaryannNunes Місяць тому +17

    Laughter is the best medicine ever

  • @agatik90
    @agatik90 22 дні тому

    Brilliant. This whole conversation was just brilliant. What a gem, can't thank you enough for this. Radical acceptance!!! Beautiful!👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻❤️

  • @introvertmtunofficial
    @introvertmtunofficial 26 днів тому +2

    Mercy:
    You are a being, gentle and kind.
    You've carried burdens heavy in your mind.
    No more should you endure such pain.
    Don't be cruel with eyes that hold no rain.
    Don't let harshness be your guiding light.
    Don't trap yourself in a confined state of plight.
    Don't rub salt in wounds that haven't healed.
    Don't reopen scars that time concealed.
    When wounds are dry, don't tear them anew,
    Creating chasms deeper than the blue.
    Don't clip your wings with burdens untold.
    Don't drown yourself in stories yet untold.
    There's love you need, a love more profound.
    Embrace yourself, let kindness surround.
    Compassion's touch, a gentle embrace.
    Whisper comfort, find a peaceful space.
    Treat yourself sometimes, a gift so sweet,
    A fragrant biryani, a citrusy treat.
    Indulge in coolness, a scoop of delight,
    Ice cream's embrace on a sunny, bright light.
    Each day, walk hand-in-hand with the dawn,
    Let gentle sunlight grace your way on.
    Explore the world, witness wonders untold,
    Paint freely, let your colors unfold.
    Sing off-key, let your voice take flight,
    Dance with abandon, lose yourself in the night.
    Do for yourself what you yearn for from another,
    Let joy bloom, for love deserves no other.
    May those who cherish you find solace true,
    Seeing the happiness blooming anew!
    If you have 3 minutes, come to my channel and watch a beautiful video based on this poem.ua-cam.com/video/mF6nDyJZ4p0/v-deo.html&lc=Ugxp9OR6IITeZgIf02F4AaABAg

  • @LindaSchebel
    @LindaSchebel Місяць тому +2

    I had this experience with my Mom's death and funeral. I just let everyone be whatever kind of A$$ they naturally are, and the whole thing went so smoothly! Fortunately, there were a few kind, and generous people, and they helped me to cope emotionally.

  • @BGga.
    @BGga. Місяць тому +2

    ❤❤❤❤ Thank you I need this right now and I’m grateful that addiction, abuse, guilt and fear are all in this video. These are all real topics.

  • @222littlecat
    @222littlecat Місяць тому +8

    I am deeply touched by this conversation. Thank you ❤

    • @MaryannNunes
      @MaryannNunes Місяць тому

      Me too was good for me after losing my late husband 4 years ago it's interesting

  • @michelesqueo5541
    @michelesqueo5541 Місяць тому +5

    Loving your talks with David Kessler. Listened to him years ago on Hay House.

  • @janjacksonauthor3282
    @janjacksonauthor3282 22 дні тому

    I loved that soooo much! Got a great deal from it. Amazing two people delivering top value on something we just don't really understand fully, or even talk about except maybe in therapy so this was absolutely an awesome surprise. Thank you!!! Much LOVE

  • @jennyverano5576
    @jennyverano5576 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you for sharing this video so that more people could benefit from such insightful conversation. It has helped me to understand guilt and grief. Thank you ❤

  • @aallaaziz6810
    @aallaaziz6810 Місяць тому +6

    An episode to rewatch for sure. Thank you 🙏🏼

  • @Introvertedgaming-p2b
    @Introvertedgaming-p2b 16 днів тому

    This has come at the right time when griefing right now 😢

  • @sunshine885
    @sunshine885 Місяць тому +9

    Wow, what a great conversation. David is so wise. I've been listening to him and his wisdom since 2020, and I've learned a lot. It has helped me heal a lot of things I've been through. ❤

  • @annevanderlaan6441
    @annevanderlaan6441 Місяць тому +3

    My husband died in 2019. I am not the same person I was then. We can’t have faith and fear.

  • @orielwiggins2225
    @orielwiggins2225 Місяць тому +7

    Aquarius 😂😂😂😂. David is great. Fantastic interview Matthew, I know you must have felt like there was not nearly enough time to get to even a fraction of the topics and questions.

  • @jessicalong6011
    @jessicalong6011 Місяць тому

    This was just so very healing and helpful. I have so many notes and I pray they stick in my heart and brain to stay free. Thank you both so very much ❤❤

  • @TheNellybird
    @TheNellybird Місяць тому +2

    Fantastic interview. What a character! So distinct with his message. 😊

  • @katharinabeck1892
    @katharinabeck1892 Місяць тому +1

    the best humor today, and with wisdom. Thank you.

  • @junitaartman9982
    @junitaartman9982 Місяць тому

    The Questions you asked were so on point, Amazing

  • @Mytown2024
    @Mytown2024 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you very for sharing this video with us. I love your work and Dabid Kessler's work❤

  • @teeve1500
    @teeve1500 Місяць тому

    How absolutely wonderful, omg who is this guy?! Well done, Matthew!

  • @AnnaWoG
    @AnnaWoG Місяць тому +1

    WANTING TO HAVE CHILDREN AND FAMILY IS NOT AN IULLUSION. IT IS THE BEST LIFE GOAL, THAT GIVES MEANING TO EVERYTHING WE DO.

  • @michellekane6894
    @michellekane6894 24 дні тому +2

    Feel Wounded beyond repair 💔

    • @sarafonfria
      @sarafonfria 22 дні тому

      I wish the best for you. Whatever your wound, I hope it heals in a way that brings you peace ❤ may joy and love finds you while at it

  • @SUNshine_9
    @SUNshine_9 Місяць тому +1

    Fantastic transmformative interview.

  • @nadiaregula6422
    @nadiaregula6422 Місяць тому +6

    This is one of the best interviews, so reassuring

  • @jessicalong6011
    @jessicalong6011 Місяць тому

    So healing and helpful. Thank you both so very much ❤❤

  • @janjacksonauthor3282
    @janjacksonauthor3282 22 дні тому +1

    Yes Louis Hayes was instrumental in getting my life moving in a positive direction. Someone just out of the goodness of their heart gave me one of her books. I don't recall the name now but it was full of positive affirmations and also what a more esoterical meaning of certain diseases and illnesses really meant at a deeper level. Very life changing for me. It started my mind functioning in the most beneficial ways. I'll always remember the young woman that gave me that book. It truly was the start in changing my life. I did not reeeaaallllyyy know how to use my mind properly. Yep. Louis Hayes!! LOVE

    • @tanyaMahri330
      @tanyaMahri330 21 день тому

      Was it called "you can heal your life"?

  • @HellaBella-d4y
    @HellaBella-d4y Місяць тому +1

    I ❤ Louise Hay...did she really find love at 90?? I grieve rhe life I wasred and ruined on my own

  • @elen6990
    @elen6990 Місяць тому

    ❤️❤️ so love this interview. It was so profoundly helpful. Looking forward to reading his book. Thank you for this talk and introducing us(who hadn't known of him) to him and his work. 🙏🏻

  • @mihaelabornaz8607
    @mihaelabornaz8607 Місяць тому

    Brilliant video, thank You so much for your guest and the questions you presented to him ❤

  • @kimberleenadwocki4393
    @kimberleenadwocki4393 22 дні тому

    Sadly Grieving Children a person never had. How the Grief of Divorce, or loss of a Brother, or a child. Grieve the cost of actually raising that child to being successful. Most women grieve that Fairytale wedding but not that cost to have it and how parents will take a 2nd mortgage out to pay for it. I love this video. Thank you 😊

  • @davidnorman2134
    @davidnorman2134 Місяць тому +4

    I just feel dead numb lonely and empty inside. Sadness has replaced happiness.

    • @amyl6426
      @amyl6426 Місяць тому +2

      Please don’t lose hope..hang in there. Breathe . Things can turn around when you least expect it. 😊

    • @briechilli4496
      @briechilli4496 Місяць тому

      Me too 😢

    • @randypanthegoatboy2
      @randypanthegoatboy2 Місяць тому +1

      Stay strong brother.

  • @Karinskiis
    @Karinskiis Місяць тому

    Thank you for a Beautiful talk. ❤ Coming out of my house and enjoying the sunrise. 🙏

  • @debrawhittle6812
    @debrawhittle6812 Місяць тому

    Oooffff! That hit hard! What a beautiful conversation.

  • @MaryannNunes
    @MaryannNunes Місяць тому

    Thank you I have learned so much from this guy he's very very intelligent and it is so wonderful to hear somebody very very very very very amazing

  • @claudiadiaz6713
    @claudiadiaz6713 Місяць тому

    What a wonderful way of thinking! Thank you

  • @laurenmaddison1111
    @laurenmaddison1111 Місяць тому +1

    So good. Bless everyone’s heart

  • @MindfulSimpleSolutions
    @MindfulSimpleSolutions Місяць тому

    He is amazing! Great interview 🙏❤️

  • @juliaskagfjord6207
    @juliaskagfjord6207 Місяць тому +1

    DAMN this is soooo cool. Oh I could have really used to go to this retreat. I need to know about this too! Thank you for sharing.

  • @MaryannNunes
    @MaryannNunes Місяць тому

    You have you have made it richer thank you so much you are a blessing

  • @soulaward2136
    @soulaward2136 Місяць тому +4

    Awesome what a guy! Book coming :)

  • @laurienoltimier5490
    @laurienoltimier5490 21 день тому

    So powerful - thank you❤

  • @gus6077
    @gus6077 Місяць тому +1

    Really Beautiful and Real Video thanks for sharing, cheers!

  • @poeys1959
    @poeys1959 Місяць тому +1

    ❤ so much love is shared, I smiled the whole vdo.

  • @TracyLynn75
    @TracyLynn75 Місяць тому +5

    I LOVE LOUISE HAY!! RIP

  • @cristinemariano771
    @cristinemariano771 9 днів тому

    He lives, yet he’s gone-a quiet ghost drifting through his world, while you linger in the hollow echo of who he once was to you 💔.

  • @radicalmanifesting
    @radicalmanifesting Місяць тому

    Absolutely loved this!

  • @MorganP-i4i
    @MorganP-i4i Місяць тому

    Loved this! Thanks for posting.

  • @MalehlohonoloMasilo
    @MalehlohonoloMasilo Місяць тому

    DAVID ! You are awesome sir 🙌🙌

  • @lizhorwill
    @lizhorwill Місяць тому +2

    My hubby died in June. I had moved to the UK from SA, anticipating him joining me after visiting his son in another province. He didn't make it here and I feel like I'm in a perpetual nightmare waiting for him to arrive. I don't know how to get past this waiting, in my brain, even though I know he is gone.

    • @AndreiSirbu99
      @AndreiSirbu99 Місяць тому

      Looking at a picture with him dead can help you realize that in fact he is dead and never returning. My mom did the same after the sudden death of her beloved husband.

    • @lizhorwill
      @lizhorwill Місяць тому

      @@AndreiSirbu99 I am obsessively looking at every picture and reading his last words to me. It's making me go insane.

  • @meganmarie755
    @meganmarie755 Місяць тому

    This has helped me so much 🖤

  • @Rico-RR
    @Rico-RR Місяць тому

    Incredibly Powerful 💯

  • @bonniechampagne4093
    @bonniechampagne4093 Місяць тому +4

    That was WONDERFUL! THANK YOU ❤️

  • @neha_ananda
    @neha_ananda Місяць тому

    Thank you so much this was amazing 👏🏻👏🏻🙏🙏🙏💫

  • @tanyaroub4641
    @tanyaroub4641 27 днів тому

    Priceless!

  • @julienorthcutt
    @julienorthcutt Місяць тому

    Whewweeee, that was profound.💫

  • @sarahhalawa5926
    @sarahhalawa5926 Місяць тому +2

    Ok but why did you avoid the horoscope question? What are you a Gemini ?

  • @carolinaroman6642
    @carolinaroman6642 Місяць тому

    I needed this thank you both of you ❤

  • @mommabyrd2
    @mommabyrd2 Місяць тому +3

    Has he ever lost a child? Not sure what makes him the expert. My life has been forever changed on this Earth since losing my son, my dad and my mom.

    • @AnnaSage-s5v
      @AnnaSage-s5v Місяць тому

      I am sorry you are experiencing so much pain. ❤

    • @bradymom10
      @bradymom10 Місяць тому +5

      Yes, he actually lost his son.

    • @lilacsilverwing
      @lilacsilverwing Місяць тому +3

      Yes he lost his son

    • @jenniferking5597
      @jenniferking5597 Місяць тому

      A very valid question and one with which I wholeheartedly understand. My son died unexpectedly in 2008 at only 6 months old, and my only sibling died of an overdose in 2006 at only 21 years old. Loss is loss, but as a parent who’s buried a child, there’s something uniquely painful about loss that subverts life’s natural order.
      I was in the middle of nursing school when my son died, and I can’t remember the number of times I seriously considered throwing in the towel because I was lost and couldn’t imagine carrying on with my plans for life as I would’ve done had Connor not died.
      I’m a reader, so I channeled a lot of my focus on finding answers I needed by reading book after book about grief and how to process it. I already knew all about Kubler-Ross’ 5 stages of grief but had no clue how to translate knowledge and apply it practically. I actually gained some pretty profound insight mostly from books written by bereaved parents about a 6th stage of grief sort of that I’d never considered: recognizing that we’re not only grieving our loved ones’ deaths, but also the unavoidable reality that their death has changed our identity. The distinguishing feature between those able to cope effectively with their grief vs. those who’re unable is the ability to integrate grief into life meaningfully.
      For me, finishing nursing school like a boss then becoming an emergency department nurse was how I channeled my grief, finding meaning in my son’s life and death. Vowing to be the kind of nurse Connor should’ve had but didn’t, unafraid to speak up as an advocate for my patients, I’m a better nurse and mom today for it all.

    • @sharonkock5937
      @sharonkock5937 Місяць тому +2

      Yes, he lost a son.

  • @paula3569
    @paula3569 15 днів тому

    That's a lot and great
    Thank you❤🙏

  • @karenpino3591
    @karenpino3591 Місяць тому

    Excellent. Thank you

  • @thunabs7759
    @thunabs7759 Місяць тому

    This was amazing!

  • @MaryannNunes
    @MaryannNunes Місяць тому

    I agree about the parents yep I agree about that

  • @beatleme2
    @beatleme2 Місяць тому

    😁 this is so good - thanks

  • @LolaAileenVanslette
    @LolaAileenVanslette Місяць тому +9

    My second husband passed in 2001, after cheating on me eight months earlier. I know it was because his twin brother died, and he was grieving, so I forgave him. I can tell you from experience, and I've said it many times since. I would rather lose him in death than have him leave me for another woman. Unfortunately, I've had to deal with two divorces and a long-term relationship that ended in them cheating. One left me, the other I cut off because he was too toxic. I'd rather they had died, not because I want them to die, but because then I could properly grieve and let go.

    • @Nikki.....
      @Nikki..... Місяць тому +3

      people change, or maybe we might make up an idea of them that isn't even real in our head and expect them to live up to it. either way, the person that was with you in that time and the personality they had that you fell in love with no longer exists, so they have died in a way. and if you made up something beautiful in your head that wasn't even real in the first place, you have faced the reality of who they are which has made the idea of them die in your head and you can grieve that and move on, let go and heal.
      someone I loved love bombed me and after months when I was talking to him about how he has changed and treated me poorly, his answer was " what are you talking about?! I was always like this" so in my case it was a dose of being played + the idea and the potential that I had made in my mind that I needed to let go of.

    • @trinityp8575
      @trinityp8575 3 дні тому

      @@Nikki.....same… I am grieving the person he was the 1st year + the fantasy/ potential I created of him. 2.5 years later I see the reality of him and of it all and it’s so so painful. I am in pain. Such deep emotional pain. But I know it’s for good. He ultimately is not who I thought he was/ who I wanted him to be. We had great and intense chemistry on many levels. Yet he doesn’t have the qualities for a true deep long lasting relationship:(

  • @thaisxd0
    @thaisxd0 Місяць тому

    Omg thank you for this video 😊❤

  • @elskar1
    @elskar1 Місяць тому +1

    I loved this!!🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @lweziserodio4423
    @lweziserodio4423 Місяць тому

    Brilliant!! Thank you.

  • @FrankieTurner-n2k
    @FrankieTurner-n2k Місяць тому +2

    This is good kove matthews cute look

  • @noticeyourneighbor8649
    @noticeyourneighbor8649 18 днів тому

    I wish I could share this with my favorite person but we are not together anymore. 😢

  • @athygiannopoulos2634
    @athygiannopoulos2634 Місяць тому

    So many gems

  • @Rico-RR
    @Rico-RR Місяць тому +2

    We R here to love the wrong people 💯

  • @sewaari1114
    @sewaari1114 Місяць тому

    Mathew,what's healing,in practice? Is it just acceptance? Or more than that?

    • @ceciliamac4283
      @ceciliamac4283 Місяць тому

      Acceptance never spoke to me. What really helped me is to have a mindset of “I Neither accept nor reject 🤍”

  • @MsRobbiebob
    @MsRobbiebob Місяць тому +2

    Brilliant 👏 👏

  • @prabdeol4631
    @prabdeol4631 Місяць тому

    Yes meeting them the first time when i healed myself i met(real face) my best friend after 8 years i hated her

  • @MaryannNunes
    @MaryannNunes Місяць тому +1

    Same here I don't want to leave my house