1) One's happiness come at the expense of another. 2) Constantly blaming each other. 3) Can't see good in your partner anymore. 4) Your partner wants to isolate you from your loved one. 5) Your partner is unwilling to change and thinks you're the only problem. Your welcome
Not necessarily. I do think you’re right about the being single part. Everyone should spend at least 5 years being single before jumping into relationships and calling them official after a week. Spend some time alone,get to know yourself, be comfortable, secure and happy alone. Then you will be able to maintain a healthy relationship when or if the time arrives. The point is that either alone or with a matching person,you will be secure and happy.
Don’t be like me and wait thinking things will change 😢 don’t wait for 44 years and then realize you wasted your life waiting for something that was never going to happen, despite many apologies and promises!!
After about 20 years of marriage my kids are pretty big now. We got together very young, we are both almost 40. But I have realized that no matter how much I do or try I can’t make her happy. We have what everyone would say is the “perfect marriage” but it’s so hard yo keep things going. Things are not what they appear. I do not want to get to the point where we hate each other but I have lost all patience and am just tired. I just want to be alone the older I get. Lol… We are blessed to be single income family I supported through her school and took care of everything while she studied. It got to the point where my kid’s friends and their parents thought I was a single parent. I also felt like single parent e we it’s a roommate. I just feel so selfish and guilty for wanting to be alone now.
Your message is true. I feel resentment, anger, frustration and bitter towards my husband. We don't talk anymore. It is like we are in some time loop! The same thing over and over with no reward. I have went to therapy and worked on myself and he refuses to go. He can never say I'm sorry or admit he is wrong!
@@kstua3276 Yes we have been married 29 years. Next month it will be 30. But I am so incredibly lonely. Everyday I secretly wish he would meet someone and leave me. Bc when I left him for 2 months he begged me to come back and that he wld change. But he told our son who didn't live with us and my son said how can I do this to his Father. My husband is a narcissist. He is cunning and manipulative. He tries to gaslight me. I don't think it will end well for us. He is such a bastard. I wish I would have listened to my friends and just stayed gone. But I fell for his bs again. He is sneaky and lies. Eventually I hope I can get the courage to leave. But when I left he didn't eat, was sick and he makes himself look like a great guy to everyone. But behind closed doors alone he is a monster. I have been recording him. Documenting everything. I want my marriage to work but he won't change. I'm a damn fool for staying this long. I wish you the best and admire your courage. But he has killed my self esteem. My confidence. He watches Pornography. Then tells me I crazy but he knows I saw his phone. Anyway, the time will come when this quicksand I am in right now is gone.
Same here. I cannot live under the same roof with him. We haven't been under the same roof in 10 months. He comes by my place every weekend (my days off) just to start drama. He drain me, and I really hate him to the core. I cursed the day I met him, but I adore my son. He has threatened to kill me, verbally abused me, lie on me, and gaslight me. I have let myself go
Agree with all of the signs mentioned by this gentleman in this video. People should seriously go through marriage counseling before they get married. We should have serious courses in marriage. What is marriage? What is the purpose of marriage? What is the role of husband and wife in a marriage? What to expect from marriage? We go through years of college learning how to earn a living but not a single course on how to lead our life.
It’s cause the system is fucked. The government sees you as a number and doesn’t care unless you’re bringing them profit. That’s the harsh truth. The world is becoming more and more fucked with rental prices going up.
@@fizahaque why is it the governments fault or someone’s else’s fault that we don’t seek the education we need. Why do they need to tell us what to do?
Most churches require some sort of pre-marriage counseling. But even so, not all problems are evident at that point, especially when one party gives all the correct answers but ends up acting differently. Longer engagements would help.
I have been married to a narcissistic man for over 2 decades. I just want out. I had cancer. It took how he has been treating me during this time for me to see him how he really is. I wish him well. I just don't want to live his life anymore. I want to live "our lives" together. We have never done that. I don't argue with him anymore. I just want peace and happiness. I have never had that with him.
I honestly thought my husband and I would be married FOREVER. I had never been so madly in love before and no one has turned my head since. Not even the tiniest of crushes. But here I am, after almost 19 years of marriage, it is over. This man is not the man I fell in love with. I no longer know who he is. This person is angry, a liar, sneaky and blames me for his mistakes. I had hopes, but I did ask for a sign. The sign came to me loud and clear 2 days ago. There is still a part of me who wants to deny the sign, but I know I cannot. I am scared, but hopeful.
That's actually true right. How can you expect a person remains same for 19 years....Talk to him , Now he needs you the most. Tell him what is wrong with him. May be pressure or whatever. If there is a problem there has to be a solution. You are the only one who can handle him and save your family....
Dang. You described my husband's behavior entirely. We've been together for 13 years. I haven't always been stable but he loved me through it all. Things changed in this last year. I don't want to believe it but I know it's over.
Omg the blame game starts at 8 am in this house and doesn’t end until 9pm it’s only been 2 1/2 years married and the blame game happens over small non important things and I’m so over the bickering
How concise and honest! I’m truly impressed. I think one of the really difficult things is when you’re in a relationship that seems healthy when things are going well but then completely undercuts you when things are bad. What if you respect and admire someone but then when things get bad they are totally unsupportive. I’d definitely rather be alone.
I was told by a therapist that usually by the time a couple weeks counseling, it never works. One person still wants to work things out, and the other person doesn't. So by the time they get to the therapist, it's already a done deal and on it's way to over. She stopped doing couples therapy because of it. Sad, but true. Straight from a therapist's mouth.
He is correct. This completely resonates with me. I was married for 26 years. With three beautiful children. This is exactly what happened. I gave it my all. It never seem to make my ex happy with whatever I did. Come to find out, he had been cheating on me, then he turned it into anger, started putting his hands on me. Didn’t stop there. Putting his hands on me in front of the kids, creating fights in front of the kids, wan’t right. Divorce is the best solution. Thankful I’m following through with my divorce.
After 20 years of marriage and trying and communicating my needs without reciprocation it’s pretty much over. When the expression of needs are met with anger you eventually grow tired and resentful and stop saying anything at all. I knew it was Rocky well before the open communication stopped, the flowers stopped, the sex stopped, and the excuses for staying away from home grew more. You eventually just don’t care anymore
Cool. 15 years in and we never really had successful ‘open communication’ Never had a singly hella fun day, never really seen genuine happiness on his face. I don’t care any more. Divorce me, fuck me over, I don’t care. I’m done fighting.
I can say as a man who has done this myself. He is just tired, mentally. He needs a spark. I put myself out in my marriage the best I could and I got burnt out. I found myself not caring anymore not because I didn’t love but because I was mentally tired. I found everything in my life started to become blan and grey with no excitement no learning and nothing new. Which kills a man
I envy you. I can't wait for the day where indifference takes the place of anger and sadness. I grieve everything. The past, the good times that are long gone. And of course the man I had them with. The present and the stings of pain from every lie, every blow off, the absence of love or concern from him as he watches me crumble with every affair uncovered. But also the future. Everything we wanted, talked about and planned for just vanishes
Just got married in October in Scotland. She hasn’t been happy since we got back. We moved to a new town and she went to visit her family as soon as we got there and hasn’t come back. She said she has no reason to come back. I feel totally abandoned.
Contemplating it because I'm tired of not being heard in the relationship. Nothing I say matters. He trusts his street friends over what I say. Stays out over his friends all night. I've gone to sleep so many nights alone. He spends more time doing him than us. We have 4 kids and even when he isn't with the kids I have to beg for quality time. It's like I'm an afterthought to his life. I find myself sadly watching people's happy marriage stories wishing for a happy marriage. He walks around like nothing is wrong.
My wife left me without any warning oneday. She got off work early went home got a few things then when and picked up the kids and never came home. Texted me a few days later wanting a divorce. Up to this point I didnt know anything was wrong. A few months later she called me crying wanting to come back home. I asked for her reason for leaving and she said she started hanging out with her single friends more and she got jealous of the wild free life they were living and thought she wanted that. She said they started pressuring her to do this and that and eventually she did have an affair. I have never in my life heard someone beg as much as she did to come home but I couldn't allow that. I couldn't risk this heartache ever happening again. I mean our marriage was perfect. We were in the process of building a house and life was getting better and better. But it is what it is.
Thank you for sharing your story, Zachary. I can imagine what you're going through. Please watch this video, I believe it will be helpful for you. ua-cam.com/video/U-x846GUjME/v-deo.html Coach Adrian
I doubt it was as perfect as you say. Otherwise you would have picked up on her feelings unless she's just that great of a liar/pretender. I'm just jaded and feel like most of us have had our eyes closed at one point or many.
Wish I could do that but he just chooses other women over me when we come to an argument he tends to take their side like I'm no one and here I am still bc I'm trying to save up and leave completely disappear I never wanted to have a single wild life I'm a wife material and I respected him even through the bad until I couldn't anymore took 10 years almost 13 now 🙄
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
The lesson I have learned in life when it comes to relationships that are not working out is to stop wasting my time. Time is something we can't get back. My biggest regret is wasting my precious time. Once I stopped doing that, the right person came into my life. We both knew we were right for each other. It was spiritual.
My husband asked for one more chance after another. Funny thing is, it seems like this time around he's serious about changing, but at this point I'm so worn out from disappointment I'm totally checked out and don't care if he changes. We're together for our daughter and I'm counting down the years until she's old enough to understand and have the divorce conversation. Meanwhile, I'm trying not to lose my mind being with someone I despise at this point. Sometimes I feel bad because he keeps trying so hard, but I just can't force myself to love him like I used to.
Big mistake. You eventually gonna end up totally ruined from within if not with bunch of deseases as a result of this psychological torture throughout the years. I know a woman who did the same and she burnt all (or almost all) chances to be happy with someone else. Moreover, your husband has the right to be happy with someone else too. Your daughter is not an excuse for staying in that marriage. That's for sure.
I’m approaching one year of marriage in May; and I’m already having second thoughts. My husband has threatened divorce THREE times over very small disagreements. Not everyone is going to have the same opinion as you.. Then, he tried to flip it and say “that’s not what he meant”. He’s too old to be playing games at 50. He’s also a little controlling and everything has to be about him. I told him I wanted to travel and his reply was, “I been there and done that”. He always turns the TV in my face while I’m watching it too. Just the other day, he said he was going to put a lock on the pantry door if I didn’t close it the next time. Hell, I’m the one who buys all the food. He refused to put my on his state health benefits. To me, that’s not a person who sees me as a wife. The last thing that really made me look at him a different way is, he sat in his car and watched me scrape big chunks of ice off my windows and windshield during the ice storm. I’m an essential worker and had to go to work. He says he didn’t help because it was too cold outside. It would be easy to ignore horrible sex if he wasn’t such a jerk! There’s other things too. I’m just done! I honestly think he married me to have someone cook, clean, sex whenever he wants, and for financial help.
I’m a lil speechless.. I just got engaged and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. My Fiancé and I are going into this with the concept of we are in this till the end .. I’m 53, he 52. BUTTT BABYYYYY I don’t know you but your a QUEEN with a pauper and if mines EVER exhibit those characteristics towards this Queen over here……that house would have an OVERHAUL! Life to short to be miserable! Go through ups and downs, grow,expand, learn, forgive .. yeahhhh but not disrespect, stagnation, lack of effort, etc.. NOPE. Wishing you all the BEST ❤
@@lisamitchell7701 He completely tricked me. People think it doesn’t happen, but it does. Everything changed three months after marriage. I guess he knew I wasn’t going to divorce him after three months. I gave away all my belongings and moved with him AFTER we got married. I wish I waited longer.
As a little girl,I thought I would grow up get married. Have a strong stable marriage. As a grown Women I understand getting a divorce. Can be my happy ever after!
Married to a partner that describes all the touch points you have illustrated! Crosses all boundaries and lies consistently. Highly educated and debonair. I am empowered to live quality of live I deserve!
Its scary when you and everyone else saw the signs that things were going too fast but your heart spoke louder than your brain. Now you are suffering for it.
How to get out?..... I don't wanna be selfish and ruin my child's life...... But I am tired and i am not happy anymore........ It's so hard to get out..... It damages my whole being....He makes me the worse that I can be...... Im so frustrated of him...... .... I'm depressed......
@@diosadiosa4878 I feel the same. I’ve been pretty much depressed for 3 years because of my miserable marriage. Now I’m leaving him but it feels unbearable to break the family of my child. I hate myself when I see him cry and be anxious and angry about his father moving out. This life is just endless pile of shit.. no matter what I do I will suffer and my kid will suffer.
@@mmnde12 I feel y'all. I'm about to go through it myself. I just want to tell you to take time to love yourself. Your children will see that and always love you. They would rather see you happy than sad. Please keep your head up and see that your child lives a happy life. You won't regret it
19 years together, he takes care of me as I have health issues. For years I have given my best, but he always searches for attention from women. There's always another woman. Recently realized he and one of the women were arguing. He's a good man, but can't be faithful. Keep wishing one day I'll get someone who is.
My marriage has never been a marriage 75 percent never knew nothing never been in his bank account he does what he wants when he wants I'm 53 and always prayed but now finally going to call it quits I talk to him to change but sees nothing wrong in what he does
My wife cut me off from my friends and family starting the same week we were married,I let it go because she was good to me,next she started selling off my belongings,tools,motorcycles,bicycles, wood working projects I've made over the years,she told me while I was visiting my 82 year old blind grandmother on new years day to not come home ever again we're still married but I have lived out of my pickup truck for the last 3 months and haven't seen or heard from her but everything I've ever worked hard for is all gone now and that really sucks
Say it's not so...? That is a crazy story. Get you a hotel friend. So you can clear your mind. Maybe become a trucker.. hit the road the right way. Wish you the best.
@@ReneeLoves So true! I told my husband to call his ex wife and tell her to move in (since they want to be sneaky and text behind my back). Just the sight of him makes me want to throw up.
I just don’t have the energy to try to make it work anymore, I dnt think it’s worth fighting for especially when your cheating partner doesn’t show remorse but constantly blames you for his wrong doing and doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions. I am gracefully allowing the weeds to grow because I feel God says I have no business being in this marriage no more.
That is how my wife felt. Except I begged and let her know I changed because I really love her. She left and took my kids . I hope she one day finds out I could change and really treat her like the love of my life. My heart is slowly dying I'm almost ready to just let go.i miss them so much I don't think she understands me.
@@landscapingbestfast7029 did you ever actually SHOW her that you are changing? Like consistently? I get so tired of hearing the I’m going to change I will change I swear I’m going to show you not just tell you. And then same things happen.. no change all talk
I remember watching this video a homeless man in New York a year ago. Seeing this brought tears to my eyes as how much better my life is now and this video is still here. Never give up in life. No condition is permanent
I’ve been married a long time and my husband is all about saving money. I’ve agreed with him all these years and now I’m fed up and we don’t agree on much anymore. It makes me resent him and actually hate him. I’m now 60 years old and still ant to make my own decisions!
great-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him).
Yu can sense when it’s over an when you feel it it’s over don’t cry or beg makes you look weak just accept it and move on with your life! God don’t make mistakes BELIEVE ME!!
I been married for 8 yrs but together for 13 and I don't feel like his Queen anymore we argue more disagree on everything each other blame one another I am not happy but don't want a divorce HELP ME PLEASE.
Mine too married 13 years together 21 yrs. we agreed on everything now we argue over stupid things and it didn’t help by his cheating. I’m at a crossroad now.
Me too,we argue disagree a lot,we say really horrible things to each other nowadays,like really mean,it's like we a totally 2 different people.its hurts,I wish we could mend things nd be peaceful.dont want divorce but I don't know if we will ever be happy.8yrs of marriage, 11 yrs of being together.we don't have kids,we have being struggling to conceive nd this has put a lot of strain in our marriage also.its sad
People assume that since 2 people get married, that they loved each other at one point....NOT ALWAYS TRUE. People get married all the time without truly loving each other. People also get married for convenience, pregnancy or pressure from their partner. Some people really don't even know why they got married, their mind was on auto pilot and not thinking things through. One day they wake up, come to their senses and say to themselves "Why the hell did I get married, I don't even love this person".
That's not truth, sometimes your partner just blind and cannot see that he is doing wrong, and what you need to do to pray for your partner, and help him to grow , because that's why we are in the marriage - to serve each other not trying to enjoy ourselves
“ He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.” Mark 10:11-12 “ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33
To be human is quote on quote vulnerable. To me a worthy man doesn't fear nor run from these challenges and confronts the with patience and compassion. And to me to be perfect is to be sincere more than anything.
I appreciate you phrasing this video in a way that goes both ways. “If you or your partner…” I felt every one of these points applies to my partner but it is crucial for me to look into myself.
The truthful hurt your video provided reminded me of several critical mistakes I've made, Leaving an overbearing mother and unwittingly marring into overbearing mother-in-law was the first mistake. Choosing marriage was a blunder, I was religiously brainwashed and far to immature. Looking back it seemed better and start over, Yet for many years I knew the marriage was over and stayed finding it economically easier than to walk out the door, find a place to live and, survive alone. Maybe I'll find some sane helpful advise on your channel. I "Subscribed, clicked the "Bell" and chose "All"'
Myself as well, except it wasn't an overbearing MiL it was an overbearing and emotionally unstable wife and a deceitful drug addicted MiL....At this point I stay for my children....I sucks though cause I really loved her 😔
My husband just constantly lies. Like if I asked him to do something and then ask him if he did it and he says he did when I can see he didn't. Just constantly lies
1. One person is existing in the relationship. His happiness comes at the expense of the other. 2. Can’t find a way to get out of the blame game. 3. One party cannot find goodness in the other. Both are so consumed by anger and resentment. 4. Partner cuts you off from friends and family, from things you love to do. 5. You or your partner is unwilling to change.
I have a 12 year marriage that is holding on by a thread . I came to this site just to see if my husband had any of the signs and unfortunately, he does. His narcissistic behavior is also another reason I’m planning my exit from this marriage. I can talk to him about almost anything but in his mind he thinks he’s perfect. He is selfish, arrogant emotionless , just recently, he treated himself to a Mother’s Day gift didn’t get me anything and didn’t say anything. I should have left last year on our wedding anniversary. That’s what really did it for me. He did nothing and something I trusted in him to do. He didn’t, we had a fire that burned the majority of our home after the fire he told me he neglected to get insurance. I lost everything including my respect and any feelings I had for him.
Marriage is about giving, not taking. Marriage is a covenant, both parties help each other become more like Christ. Forgiving, showing grace, communicating, resolving, strive to put the interest of the other above self, thinking of how to help the other person (help others, not sin, become more Christ like), how to serve others and the community together. We humans can never be able to do these things ourselves, we need the almighty God to help us.
Ask Angels and God to send you help. Don't forget invisible armies are at work, working for Satan. These destroy couples happiness. I have been through some stuff so I know. I even saw not so nice stuff. My paranormal story on my channel. More videos soon. Peace from England UK
Ikr! After 11 years, and An eight year old together, it's pretty clear to me that #1 my husband's cheating #2 It's time to save myself, all of my energy trying to save my marriage, has been a big waste of my late 30's
@@madisoncannoles4907 Oh I’m sorry about that okay. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through enduring for so many years. But any man who doesn’t take your happiness, peace and mental health serious is not the one for you.
Married for 43years loveless Marriage just passing in motion thinking things will change but never did and we no longer talk or communicate or agree on anything and it has taken a toll on my mental health and chronic physical pain every day and almost lack of proper sleep .it has come to a stage where I can’t look at him daily I want to go somewhere but cannot take that step thinking of other family members and what they would as no one has divorced in my family.Iam in my 60s and living life without inner peace and self satisfaction .it’s like universe is punishing me for the way iam I hate myself for not feeling happy to just be!
My husband and I had a toxic relationship with his drinking and me pleading then eventually physical abuse on my part for him to stop. Nothing worked. It’s been 6 years since we had one of those fights. Today I want a divorce but I don’t make enough for spousal support for him. He use to be an RN but he quit to drink and do drugs. He also hangs and guilt trip me on my abuse. I’ve been taking care of myself for the last 6 years by healthy eating,yoga, and mental health. He criticizes me for doing that and talking to friends, especially guy friends and guilt trips me every time I go out with family or friends
I know its over. But if you have kids with him and you have nowhere to go not even parents and you feel absolutely helpless and desolate if you leave him and once in a while he prepares breakfast for you.....is there any chance left to reconcile
He never accepts that he is wrong , what I want never matters to him,he doesn't care if I accepts his decision about my life, he cuts my relationship with my friend and family and he thinks he did me a favor by getting married to me and it makes me feel very sad and tired of my relationship with him
I tried everything I could think of, I just can’t anymore, just can’t make a final decision. Too much emotional and verbal abuse that just doesn’t stop as much as I try to avoid it. Can’t have a simple conversation without being called names. A simple matter of me having a difference in opinions brings about an explosion of nastiness. I can’t do it anymore
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your story. I empathize with you, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to try and fix a situation that appears to be unfixable. Toxicity in a relationship is incredibly difficult to navigate and I would suggest creating some space between the two of you to re-evaluate. If you need more support, we would be happy to help. Here is the link to book a session if you feel like you need it: happilycommitted.com/coaching/ - Coach Adrian
I feel this. It's just a different opinion, it should be tolerable. It's get nasty everytime. I still listen and not throwing oil to the fire. But sometimes I get scare if it's out of control and he beat me.
My partner survived breast cancer. It was hell and all during the pandemic. Everyone in the family was affected. It brought all of us closer. But what no one tells you about being the partner turned caregiver is that nothing of what you remembered about life before cancer will return. I’m struggling so much. It is like being with the shell of a person I knew. We are still together and have so much love for each other. There’s no intimacy anymore. I did meet someone and it has wrecked my entire headspace. I hope anyone reading the comments gives themselves grace and time. Leaving any relationship is hard enough. I did not ask for any of this to happen. It felt like we were just starting our life together and then cancer appeared like a tsunami. I also never asked to have someone new enter my life because I was trying to repair everything that was taken from us. I am so angry about it all. Why would this be put in front of me. I have cried so much. None of this seems fair. I spend so much time alone. Being a caregiver is a very isolated existence.
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
I’ve been fighting for my marriage for 26 years, I know she hates me but I love her and it hurts. I’ve never been so abused by anyone. The names she calls me are freaking disgusting. Every day I’m told I’m not good enough, and getting body shamed. Life sucks, every where I look for help , I get the same.. get out now! I love her .
These signs were in our marriage several years ago. I knew we were having problem in our marriage. I told my husband so. He told me our marriage had no problem he was happy and if I think our marriage had problem then the problem must be me. He told me to go do something with myself. I thought about what he said then I decide to change myself. This went on for a few years. I was not happy. Toward the end we had nothing in common. Then I had a spiritual awakening. Early this years I told him I wanted a divorce. then he realized he was in shit hole all these years and asked me not to leave him. I told him it's too late. I have nothing else to offer him. Marriage him was good, divorced him was better. Being single is the best.
I never had any business being married in the first place. Was married before and hated it. No one should get married in their 20s. Then got married in my 40s KNOWING that I truly wasn’t in love and didn’t want to be married again. So now, I’m leaving in a month for my own happiness.
As a 20 year old I never wanted to get married. I used to when I was in my teens. But growing ups eeing the reality of marriage it just sounds like a nightmare I hope ur doing ok!!
Listening to your message it hit all the right nails on the head have being married for 13years everything I do it's never good enough for him he did me lots of wrong and I still stick with him but I stop out and made one mistake but am the one to get beat with it i feel like am suffering in my marriage this hurts real bad I just want to give it all up and walk awys from it all.
I loved my wife, not anymore..we been together 27 yrs..we're done..I still love her, but she has no love for me!! I'm ready to find that next girl who ...will love me..
I filed and moved out. But now I feel like I made a mistake. Back in October she begged me to come home. Then in November we hooked up and it was like a honeymoon. Then our marriage coach thought it best that we divorce and start all over. He told her that and everything crashed. I want her back so bad. She can not make up her mind. I do not know if I am being manipulated. Now she says “ since I am starting a new business, I may not have the time for you and the business”. My question is, if everything was perfect , would she be divorcing me to start her business?
I really enjoyed your talk. You are 100% correct. There must be sharing and caring from both sides. I love your garden idea. Look after it, nurture it otherwise there will be weeds. Thank you for your message.
Curious so stopped to watch the video. Didnt think that everything he said is him breaking down my problems. Leaving is one of the hardest things to ever do. Took the next step and it didn’t work out. I am the ‘problem’, I’m the one that never put in work, I’m the one that will never get anywhere. That’s ok. People have there opinions and i don’t have to sit here and prove myself. Sometimes you have to say enough! Enough of the mental, emotional and physical abuse. The physical abuse is what made me leave. I know i have to die one day but it won’t be in the hands of a man.
I’m so lost at the moment. I don’t want our marriage to end. But I’m so tired of having been uninteresting or unwanted to my husband for so often and for so long now. Blame game present sometimes actively, but most of the times it’s always present somewhere deep anyway. What am I to do…
My wife cheated on me and now wants to leave me. Saying she isn't in love with me . Idk how i feel right now honestly but I wish we all coulda of seen these things coming before it gets worse
I naturally don't involve my business socially. I promised myself after my last marriage I would wake up slowly to understand what is love! I studied ethamology. The study of word. Understand that gift God gave us! The ability to understand him!
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I don’t even have words… I’m just ready to end this crap. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired.
@@Leo-cq9zr my husband says that exact thing frequently
1) One's happiness come at the expense of another.
2) Constantly blaming each other.
3) Can't see good in your partner anymore.
4) Your partner wants to isolate you from your loved one.
5) Your partner is unwilling to change and thinks you're the only problem.
Your welcome
Ty I'm getting so f*n annoyed with the babbling. Just lay it out. I'll do with it what I need.
Thank you. This guy just blathered on endlessly.
Unfortunately, story of my life
Thank you so much for your professional honesty.
Thankful being single for ten years…
Single is happiness. Marry yourself first. Relationships suck more the longer they last.
Not necessarily. I do think you’re right about the being single part. Everyone should spend at least 5 years being single before jumping into relationships and calling them official after a week. Spend some time alone,get to know yourself, be comfortable, secure and happy alone. Then you will be able to maintain a healthy relationship when or if the time arrives. The point is that either alone or with a matching person,you will be secure and happy.
You are so right
@@freespirithippie6857 it sounds like your experience in your relationships sucked.
Don’t be like me and wait thinking things will change 😢 don’t wait for 44 years and then realize you wasted your life waiting for something that was never going to happen, despite many apologies and promises!!
Are you happier?
Finally have the courage to move on and let go! I’m at the point I don’t care what my husband does. That’s how I know I’m done
After about 20 years of marriage my kids are pretty big now. We got together very young, we are both almost 40. But I have realized that no matter how much I do or try I can’t make her happy. We have what everyone would say is the “perfect marriage” but it’s so hard yo keep things going. Things are not what they appear. I do not want to get to the point where we hate each other but I have lost all patience and am just tired. I just want to be alone the older I get. Lol… We are blessed to be single income family I supported through her school and took care of everything while she studied. It got to the point where my kid’s friends and their parents thought I was a single parent. I also felt like single parent e we it’s a roommate. I just feel so selfish and guilty for wanting to be alone now.
44 years. Wow.
Im there to 22 years 4 kids and im just done 😢
Your message is true. I feel resentment, anger, frustration and bitter towards my husband. We don't talk anymore. It is like we are in some time loop! The same thing over and over with no reward. I have went to therapy and worked on myself and he refuses to go. He can never say I'm sorry or admit he is wrong!
Are you still with him? 15 years, 2 kids. I'm in the middle of divorce. If you have even a little hope, stay and fight for it
My husband never apologizes to me and we been together for 8 years
@@kstua3276 Yes we have been married 29 years. Next month it will be 30. But I am so incredibly lonely. Everyday I secretly wish he would meet someone and leave me. Bc when I left him for 2 months he begged me to come back and that he wld change. But he told our son who didn't live with us and my son said how can I do this to his Father. My husband is a narcissist. He is cunning and manipulative. He tries to gaslight me. I don't think it will end well for us. He is such a bastard. I wish I would have listened to my friends and just stayed gone. But I fell for his bs again. He is sneaky and lies. Eventually I hope I can get the courage to leave. But when I left he didn't eat, was sick and he makes himself look like a great guy to everyone. But behind closed doors alone he is a monster. I have been recording him. Documenting everything. I want my marriage to work but he won't change. I'm a damn fool for staying this long. I wish you the best and admire your courage. But he has killed my self esteem. My confidence. He watches Pornography. Then tells me I crazy but he knows I saw his phone. Anyway, the time will come when this quicksand I am in right now is gone.
Same here. I cannot live under the same roof with him. We haven't been under the same roof in 10 months. He comes by my place every weekend (my days off) just to start drama. He drain me, and I really hate him to the core. I cursed the day I met him, but I adore my son. He has threatened to kill me, verbally abused me, lie on me, and gaslight me. I have let myself go
Have you given a thought to the possibility that he doesn’t need therapy and hasn’t done anything to apologize for?
Agree with all of the signs mentioned by this gentleman in this video. People should seriously go through marriage counseling before they get married. We should have serious courses in marriage. What is marriage? What is the purpose of marriage? What is the role of husband and wife in a marriage? What to expect from marriage? We go through years of college learning how to earn a living but not a single course on how to lead our life.
It’s cause the system is fucked. The government sees you as a number and doesn’t care unless you’re bringing them profit. That’s the harsh truth. The world is becoming more and more fucked with rental prices going up.
@@fizahaque why is it the governments fault or someone’s else’s fault that we don’t seek the education we need. Why do they need to tell us what to do?
@ThePjd2012 because it's the government that runs the education system. Unless it's a private school. You'd think ppl would knw this by now.
Most churches require some sort of pre-marriage counseling. But even so, not all problems are evident at that point, especially when one party gives all the correct answers but ends up acting differently. Longer engagements would help.
If you think it's over, it's over.
Damn right!!!
Damn right!!!
This comment is the exact sign I needed to see for a couple years. Thank you
Me too
Ye.. it's over.. it's not easy to accept it when we have happy kid together..
I realized something seriously wrong when she hates not only the bad parts of me but the good parts of me too.
Lack of Respect. Infidelity. Ignoring basic relationships needs. No communication.
I have been married to a narcissistic man for over 2 decades. I just want out. I had cancer. It took how he has been treating me during this time for me to see him how he really is. I wish him well. I just don't want to live his life anymore. I want to live "our lives" together. We have never done that. I don't argue with him anymore. I just want peace and happiness. I have never had that with him.
I honestly thought my husband and I would be married FOREVER. I had never been so madly in love before and no one has turned my head since. Not even the tiniest of crushes. But here I am, after almost 19 years of marriage, it is over. This man is not the man I fell in love with. I no longer know who he is. This person is angry, a liar, sneaky and blames me for his mistakes. I had hopes, but I did ask for a sign. The sign came to me loud and clear 2 days ago. There is still a part of me who wants to deny the sign, but I know I cannot. I am scared, but hopeful.
What was the sign and how did you get the sign you asked for?
What did you do to make him act this way?
No offense just curious!
Peace and Blessings’
That's actually true right. How can you expect a person remains same for 19 years....Talk to him , Now he needs you the most. Tell him what is wrong with him. May be pressure or whatever. If there is a problem there has to be a solution. You are the only one who can handle him and save your family....
Dang. You described my husband's behavior entirely. We've been together for 13 years. I haven't always been stable but he loved me through it all. Things changed in this last year. I don't want to believe it but I know it's over.
just think it over.
The worst thing that can happen to anyone is to have a toxic partner. I wish everyone can marry their kind.
@@okowrightbalaxy7237 unfortunately this is me💔
Omg the blame game starts at 8 am in this house and doesn’t end until 9pm it’s only been 2 1/2 years married and the blame game happens over small non important things and I’m so over the bickering
This is me rn. It's barely 2 years and it's tiring
Hello sweetheart I’m telling you start paying attention to the signs
I'm in this loop now I can't even view her the same nomo
Same here
If you’re watching this video that’s probably a good indication right there.
How concise and honest! I’m truly impressed. I think one of the really difficult things is when you’re in a relationship that seems healthy when things are going well but then completely undercuts you when things are bad. What if you respect and admire someone but then when things get bad they are totally unsupportive. I’d definitely rather be alone.
I agree with McDonald'
Sounds like my spouse spot on.
I was told by a therapist that usually by the time a couple weeks counseling, it never works. One person still wants to work things out, and the other person doesn't. So by the time they get to the therapist, it's already a done deal and on it's way to over. She stopped doing couples therapy because of it. Sad, but true. Straight from a therapist's mouth.
We went to therapy three years ago but nothing has changed
Okay this is EXACTLY what my therapist said too. She doesn't do couples anymore either 😮
Reality is most therapists are quacks... With little experience and a host of their own traumas
@@MsElke11 so sorry to hear 🧡🙏
@@savonne wow
He is correct. This completely resonates with me. I was married for 26 years. With three beautiful children. This is exactly what happened. I gave it my all. It never seem to make my ex happy with whatever I did. Come to find out, he had been cheating on me, then he turned it into anger, started putting his hands on me. Didn’t stop there. Putting his hands on me in front of the kids, creating fights in front of the kids, wan’t right. Divorce is the best solution. Thankful I’m following through with my divorce.
Hi
Same here!!!
So that anger he was directing was really him cheating all along? Because mine is doing the exact same thing.
Where is you accountability in all this? It takes two to tango.
Did this make anyone else cry? 😞
Yes 💔
Yes
Yes 💔
After 20 years of marriage and trying and communicating my needs without reciprocation it’s pretty much over. When the expression of needs are met with anger you eventually grow tired and resentful and stop saying anything at all. I knew it was Rocky well before the open communication stopped, the flowers stopped, the sex stopped, and the excuses for staying away from home grew more. You eventually just don’t care anymore
Cool. 15 years in and we never really had successful ‘open communication’
Never had a singly hella fun day, never really seen genuine happiness on his face.
I don’t care any more. Divorce me, fuck me over, I don’t care. I’m done fighting.
I can say as a man who has done this myself. He is just tired, mentally. He needs a spark. I put myself out in my marriage the best I could and I got burnt out. I found myself not caring anymore not because I didn’t love but because I was mentally tired. I found everything in my life started to become blan and grey with no excitement no learning and nothing new. Which kills a man
How to find happiness after breaking such a long relationship?
This is my current situation in textbook definition
God help me
I envy you. I can't wait for the day where indifference takes the place of anger and sadness. I grieve everything. The past, the good times that are long gone. And of course the man I had them with. The present and the stings of pain from every lie, every blow off, the absence of love or concern from him as he watches me crumble with every affair uncovered.
But also the future. Everything we wanted, talked about and planned for just vanishes
My 20 year marriage shows all of these signs I tired every I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s clearly over and there’s nothing I can do about it.
If my marriage fails I would never do it again. I would date and have a girlfriend but that’s it.
@@Presidentialrun2028 I agree with you 💯
I am a forever husband not a temporary husband I will never leave my families side
You are a rare, wonderful person.
Just got married in October in Scotland. She hasn’t been happy since we got back. We moved to a new town and she went to visit her family as soon as we got there and hasn’t come back. She said she has no reason to come back. I feel totally abandoned.
Contemplating it because I'm tired of not being heard in the relationship. Nothing I say matters. He trusts his street friends over what I say. Stays out over his friends all night. I've gone to sleep so many nights alone. He spends more time doing him than us. We have 4 kids and even when he isn't with the kids I have to beg for quality time. It's like I'm an afterthought to his life. I find myself sadly watching people's happy marriage stories wishing for a happy marriage. He walks around like nothing is wrong.
I can relate even down to the family size. I pray whatever you decide, is for you and your children best interest.
Going through the same thing. I’m walking.
Does he provide, his he the breadwinner, a good father, die for you in order to protect you?
@@jaydblak4638 same! nothing to work on, nothing to save.
I was in the same boat and he wasn’t with friends. He was with women. All it took was looking at his phone.
My wife left me without any warning oneday. She got off work early went home got a few things then when and picked up the kids and never came home. Texted me a few days later wanting a divorce. Up to this point I didnt know anything was wrong. A few months later she called me crying wanting to come back home. I asked for her reason for leaving and she said she started hanging out with her single friends more and she got jealous of the wild free life they were living and thought she wanted that. She said they started pressuring her to do this and that and eventually she did have an affair. I have never in my life heard someone beg as much as she did to come home but I couldn't allow that. I couldn't risk this heartache ever happening again. I mean our marriage was perfect. We were in the process of building a house and life was getting better and better. But it is what it is.
Thank you for sharing your story, Zachary. I can imagine what you're going through. Please watch this video, I believe it will be helpful for you.
ua-cam.com/video/U-x846GUjME/v-deo.html
Coach Adrian
Sorry man
I doubt it was as perfect as you say. Otherwise you would have picked up on her feelings unless she's just that great of a liar/pretender. I'm just jaded and feel like most of us have had our eyes closed at one point or many.
Wish I could do that but he just chooses other women over me when we come to an argument he tends to take their side like I'm no one and here I am still bc I'm trying to save up and leave completely disappear I never wanted to have a single wild life I'm a wife material and I respected him even through the bad until I couldn't anymore took 10 years almost 13 now 🙄
@daylilopez6350 That's tough. Does he know? Not good to blindside the man
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
I am miserable being married
The lesson I have learned in life when it comes to relationships that are not working out is to stop wasting my time. Time is something we can't get back. My biggest regret is wasting my precious time. Once I stopped doing that, the right person came into my life. We both knew we were right for each other. It was spiritual.
My husband asked for one more chance after another. Funny thing is, it seems like this time around he's serious about changing, but at this point I'm so worn out from disappointment I'm totally checked out and don't care if he changes. We're together for our daughter and I'm counting down the years until she's old enough to understand and have the divorce conversation. Meanwhile, I'm trying not to lose my mind being with someone I despise at this point. Sometimes I feel bad because he keeps trying so hard, but I just can't force myself to love him like I used to.
How has it been so far? Are you still with him?
Big mistake. You eventually gonna end up totally ruined from within if not with bunch of deseases as a result of this psychological torture throughout the years. I know a woman who did the same and she burnt all (or almost all) chances to be happy with someone else. Moreover, your husband has the right to be happy with someone else too. Your daughter is not an excuse for staying in that marriage. That's for sure.
hey im going through the same here. has anything change are you giving him a chance should i keep waiting ?
This is totally me😢 Im six years into marriage and scared to start over due to our kids. I am convinced that I will never look at him as a husband.
Do you think someone else will love you and your daughter more?
I’m approaching one year of marriage in May; and I’m already having second thoughts. My husband has threatened divorce THREE times over very small disagreements. Not everyone is going to have the same opinion as you.. Then, he tried to flip it and say “that’s not what he meant”. He’s too old to be playing games at 50. He’s also a little controlling and everything has to be about him. I told him I wanted to travel and his reply was, “I been there and done that”. He always turns the TV in my face while I’m watching it too. Just the other day, he said he was going to put a lock on the pantry door if I didn’t close it the next time. Hell, I’m the one who buys all the food. He refused to put my on his state health benefits. To me, that’s not a person who sees me as a wife. The last thing that really made me look at him a different way is, he sat in his car and watched me scrape big chunks of ice off my windows and windshield during the ice storm. I’m an essential worker and had to go to work. He says he didn’t help because it was too cold outside. It would be easy to ignore horrible sex if he wasn’t such a jerk! There’s other things too. I’m just done! I honestly think he married me to have someone cook, clean, sex whenever he wants, and for financial help.
I’m so sorry you are going thru that. God can change anything. Pray and fight for your marriage until you can’t.
I’m a lil speechless.. I just got engaged and I can’t imagine what you’re going through. My Fiancé and I are going into this with the concept of we are in this till the end .. I’m 53, he 52. BUTTT BABYYYYY I don’t know you but your a QUEEN with a pauper and if mines EVER exhibit those characteristics towards this Queen over here……that house would have an OVERHAUL! Life to short to be miserable! Go through ups and downs, grow,expand, learn, forgive .. yeahhhh but not disrespect, stagnation, lack of effort, etc.. NOPE. Wishing you all the BEST ❤
I hope you are out of that situation. Better off alone.
@TJohnson,hope you left that man. That’s not a partner you keep
@@lisamitchell7701 He completely tricked me. People think it doesn’t happen, but it does. Everything changed three months after marriage. I guess he knew I wasn’t going to divorce him after three months. I gave away all my belongings and moved with him AFTER we got married. I wish I waited longer.
The most trouble I see is relationships around me, is one or both partners tend to stop appreciating the little things and they become expectations.
Everything you said is a definition of my marriage now. And I want to be out of it now.
Thank you for watching.
⭐ Need Immediate 1-on-1 Custom-Tailored Coaching | Schedule A Call With Us 👇: happilycommitted.com/coaching/
Coach Adrian
As a little girl,I thought I would grow up get married. Have a strong stable marriage. As a grown Women I understand getting a divorce. Can be my happy ever after!
I’m so sorry about that okay. Hope you’ve found happiness again?
@@richardmcguinn732 was that sarcasm lol?
From the moment you spoke on the first point, I instantly know you're an expert. Liked.
I appreciate your kind words!
Coach Adrian
Married to a partner that describes all the touch points you have illustrated! Crosses all boundaries and lies consistently. Highly educated and debonair. I am empowered to live quality of live I deserve!
Its scary when you and everyone else saw the signs that things were going too fast but your heart spoke louder than your brain. Now you are suffering for it.
Thank you for reaching out.
⭐ Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through? Call Our Hotline Now 👇:786.635.8373
Coach Adrian
😭
How to get out?..... I don't wanna be selfish and ruin my child's life...... But I am tired and i am not happy anymore........ It's so hard to get out..... It damages my whole being....He makes me the worse that I can be...... Im so frustrated of him......
.... I'm depressed......
@@diosadiosa4878 I feel the same. I’ve been pretty much depressed for 3 years because of my miserable marriage. Now I’m leaving him but it feels unbearable to break the family of my child. I hate myself when I see him cry and be anxious and angry about his father moving out. This life is just endless pile of shit.. no matter what I do I will suffer and my kid will suffer.
@@mmnde12 I feel y'all. I'm about to go through it myself. I just want to tell you to take time to love yourself. Your children will see that and always love you. They would rather see you happy than sad. Please keep your head up and see that your child lives a happy life. You won't regret it
19 years together, he takes care of me as I have health issues. For years I have given my best, but he always searches for attention from women. There's always another woman. Recently realized he and one of the women were arguing. He's a good man, but can't be faithful. Keep wishing one day I'll get someone who is.
My marriage has never been a marriage 75 percent never knew nothing never been in his bank account he does what he wants when he wants I'm 53 and always prayed but now finally going to call it quits I talk to him to change but sees nothing wrong in what he does
My wife cut me off from my friends and family starting the same week we were married,I let it go because she was good to me,next she started selling off my belongings,tools,motorcycles,bicycles, wood working projects I've made over the years,she told me while I was visiting my 82 year old blind grandmother on new years day to not come home ever again we're still married but I have lived out of my pickup truck for the last 3 months and haven't seen or heard from her but everything I've ever worked hard for is all gone now and that really sucks
Say it's not so...? That is a crazy story. Get you a hotel friend. So you can clear your mind. Maybe become a trucker.. hit the road the right way. Wish you the best.
In a twist sense, I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone
You're not alone, Susan.
Coach Adrian
Me too
Me t0
It's such a common issue for women. Men just lose their attraction to their significant other. I'm glad it's a topic now
@@susanwanjikubenson5173 You’re not alone okay. I hope you’ve found happiness again?
It's over when one or both 🛑 working on there relationship! My spouse gave up! It truly hurt, but I have to keep moving!
I don’t even blame him anymore. I wish him all the happiness in the world…. But with someone else.
When you don’t care about your partner moving on/ finding someone else… it’s a clear sign that the relationship is over.
@@ReneeLoves sometime it's a sign that they moved on already too! When they don't care if there spouse has moved on.
How can you say that I don't understand my wife says this often
Good
@@ReneeLoves So true! I told my husband to call his ex wife and tell her to move in (since they want to be sneaky and text behind my back). Just the sight of him makes me want to throw up.
uggg, so hard to walk away even though I've known for years this is unhealthy and a waste of time and energy. sigh.
I understand it's hard to walk away. Please take a look at this article to understand when to give up on an ex.
Coach Adrian
You more than anyone in your world deserve Happiness. Choose Happiness. Choose You. And Love Yourself 100%. 😘
Been crying for months I know I'm not too
I feel you. Same here.
Same...
I just don’t have the energy to try to make it work anymore, I dnt think it’s worth fighting for especially when your cheating partner doesn’t show remorse but constantly blames you for his wrong doing and doesn’t want to take responsibility for his actions. I am gracefully allowing the weeds to grow because I feel God says I have no business being in this marriage no more.
That is how my wife felt. Except I begged and let her know I changed because I really love her. She left and took my kids . I hope she one day finds out I could change and really treat her like the love of my life. My heart is slowly dying I'm almost ready to just let go.i miss them so much I don't think she understands me.
Did it ever work out?
@@landscapingbestfast7029 did you ever actually SHOW her that you are changing? Like consistently? I get so tired of hearing the I’m going to change I will change I swear I’m going to show you not just tell you. And then same things happen.. no change all talk
Marriage is not easy..watching eventho i am single
I remember watching this video a homeless man in New York a year ago. Seeing this brought tears to my eyes as how much better my life is now and this video is still here. Never give up in life. No condition is permanent
I wish I could upvote you more!
I’ve been married a long time and my husband is all about saving money. I’ve agreed with him all these years and now I’m fed up and we don’t agree on much anymore. It makes me resent him and actually hate him. I’m now 60 years old and still ant to make my own decisions!
That is so amazing, I’m trying to get onto the housing ladder at 40. I wish at 55 I will be testifying to similar success..!!
Damn I just realized I am in a loveless relationship....😏
Thank you for reaching out, Juan. ⭐ Want To Tell Us More About What You Are Going Through? Call Our Hotline Now 👇:786.635.8373
Coach Adrian
Didn't wanna watch it but glad I did. I see my marriage IS worth fighting for
Hi Tracy, I am glad you got something out of the video!
- Coach Adrian
great-videos! My five-year relationship came to an end a month ago. The love of my life chose to leave, and I can't stop thinking about him; I love him so deeply. I've done everything I can to win him back, but nothing seems to work. I'm feeling frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my efforts to move on, I just can't shake the thoughts of him. I don’t know why I’m sharing this, but I really miss him).
Yu can sense when it’s over an when you feel it it’s over don’t cry or beg makes you look weak just accept it and move on with your life! God don’t make mistakes BELIEVE ME!!
I been married for 8 yrs but together for 13 and I don't feel like his Queen anymore we argue more disagree on everything each other blame one another I am not happy but don't want a divorce HELP ME PLEASE.
I feel ya, it's beyond heartbreaking
Are the arguments petty?
Mine too married 13 years together 21 yrs. we agreed on everything now we argue over stupid things and it didn’t help by his cheating. I’m at a crossroad now.
Me too,we argue disagree a lot,we say really horrible things to each other nowadays,like really mean,it's like we a totally 2 different people.its hurts,I wish we could mend things nd be peaceful.dont want divorce but I don't know if we will ever be happy.8yrs of marriage, 11 yrs of being together.we don't have kids,we have being struggling to conceive nd this has put a lot of strain in our marriage also.its sad
I feel u, been together 15 yrs and its like he doesn't even try anymore
......😔. I miss the old us
This is tough stuff, but we need to hear it!
People assume that since 2 people get married, that they loved each other at one point....NOT ALWAYS TRUE. People get married all the time without truly loving each other. People also get married for convenience, pregnancy or pressure from their partner. Some people really don't even know why they got married, their mind was on auto pilot and not thinking things through. One day they wake up, come to their senses and say to themselves "Why the hell did I get married, I don't even love this person".
You are absolutely right, thank you for sharing this perspective!
Sincerely,
Coach Adrian
I love that analogy about the garden,beautifully said.
That's not truth, sometimes your partner just blind and cannot see that he is doing wrong, and what you need to do to pray for your partner, and help him to grow , because that's why we are in the marriage - to serve each other not trying to enjoy ourselves
“ He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her.
And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Mark 10:11-12
“ However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33
I try to tend the garden but am constantly punished for doing so. I give it all and get nothing in return. :(
To be human is quote on quote vulnerable. To me a worthy man doesn't fear nor run from these challenges and confronts the with patience and compassion. And to me to be perfect is to be sincere more than anything.
Ive recognized all my issues and am seeking help to fix me, unfortunately after 23 years I don’t think my wife will let me fix it.
I appreciate you phrasing this video in a way that goes both ways. “If you or your partner…” I felt every one of these points applies to my partner but it is crucial for me to look into myself.
The truthful hurt your video provided reminded me of several critical mistakes I've made, Leaving an overbearing mother and unwittingly marring into overbearing mother-in-law was the first mistake. Choosing marriage was a blunder, I was religiously brainwashed and far to immature. Looking back it seemed better and start over, Yet for many years I knew the marriage was over and stayed finding it economically easier than to walk out the door, find a place to live and, survive alone. Maybe I'll find some sane helpful advise on your channel. I "Subscribed, clicked the "Bell" and chose "All"'
Myself as well, except it wasn't an overbearing MiL it was an overbearing and emotionally unstable wife and a deceitful drug addicted MiL....At this point I stay for my children....I sucks though cause I really loved her 😔
My husband just constantly lies. Like if I asked him to do something and then ask him if he did it and he says he did when I can see he didn't. Just constantly lies
1. One person is existing in the relationship. His happiness comes at the expense of the other.
2. Can’t find a way to get out of the blame game.
3. One party cannot find goodness in the other. Both are so consumed by anger and resentment.
4. Partner cuts you off from friends and family, from things you love to do.
5. You or your partner is unwilling to change.
When your partner continually lies to you and when you find out he blames his lies on you, defending that it’s because you’re not good enough
Bingo
I'm unhappy with him, though I've done for home, took care, I've work hard
that is what my wife did to me, car was repoed and we are now losing the home I am 65 and want to give up now
100% of the mentioned criterias are fully seen in my very very toxic marriage huuuuh . God gave me solution am praying
I have a 12 year marriage that is holding on by a thread . I came to this site just to see if my husband had any of the signs and unfortunately, he does. His narcissistic behavior is also another reason I’m planning my exit from this marriage. I can talk to him about almost anything but in his mind he thinks he’s perfect. He is selfish, arrogant emotionless , just recently, he treated himself to a Mother’s Day gift didn’t get me anything and didn’t say anything. I should have left last year on our wedding anniversary. That’s what really did it for me. He did nothing and something I trusted in him to do. He didn’t, we had a fire that burned the majority of our home after the fire he told me he neglected to get insurance. I lost everything including my respect and any feelings I had for him.
0:50 34 yr marriage to covert narc, he controls EVERYthing. I an 60 no job, Rx dependent, how do I leave and start over with nothing?
Marriage is about giving, not taking. Marriage is a covenant, both parties help each other become more like Christ. Forgiving, showing grace, communicating, resolving, strive to put the interest of the other above self, thinking of how to help the other person (help others, not sin, become more Christ like), how to serve others and the community together. We humans can never be able to do these things ourselves, we need the almighty God to help us.
I wish there was a guide on what to do next.
Ask Angels and God to send you help. Don't forget invisible armies are at work, working for Satan. These destroy couples happiness. I have been through some stuff so I know. I even saw not so nice stuff. My paranormal story on my channel. More videos soon. Peace from England UK
Ikr! After 11 years, and An eight year old together, it's pretty clear to me that #1 my husband's cheating #2 It's time to save myself, all of my energy trying to save my marriage, has been a big waste of my late 30's
@@zulemaflores1234 amen
Very true
@@madisoncannoles4907 Oh I’m sorry about that okay. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through enduring for so many years. But any man who doesn’t take your happiness, peace and mental health serious is not the one for you.
Married for 43years loveless Marriage just passing in motion thinking things will change but never did and we no longer talk or communicate or agree on anything and it has taken a toll on my mental health and chronic physical pain every day and almost lack of proper sleep .it has come to a stage where I can’t look at him daily I want to go somewhere but cannot take that step thinking of other family members and what they would as no one has divorced in my family.Iam in my 60s and living life without inner peace and self satisfaction .it’s like universe is punishing me for the way iam I hate myself for not feeling happy to just be!
Be happy, your not responsible for others feelings 🙂👍
Even I don’t feel like making him happy anymore. Lost the CARE and Putting First I used to have…
My husband and I had a toxic relationship with his drinking and me pleading then eventually physical abuse on my part for him to stop. Nothing worked. It’s been 6 years since we had one of those fights. Today I want a divorce but I don’t make enough for spousal support for him. He use to be an RN but he quit to drink and do drugs. He also hangs and guilt trip me on my abuse. I’ve been taking care of myself for the last 6 years by healthy eating,yoga, and mental health. He criticizes me for doing that and talking to friends, especially guy friends and guilt trips me every time I go out with family or friends
I know its over. But if you have kids with him and you have nowhere to go not even parents and you feel absolutely helpless and desolate if you leave him and once in a while he prepares breakfast for you.....is there any chance left to reconcile
He never accepts that he is wrong , what I want never matters to him,he doesn't care if I accepts his decision about my life, he cuts my relationship with my friend and family and he thinks he did me a favor by getting married to me and it makes me feel very sad and tired of my relationship with him
I’m grateful learning with an unbiased mental, and emotionally inclined perspective. (Subscribed)
Thank you so much for subscribing!
I tried everything I could think of, I just can’t anymore, just can’t make a final decision. Too much emotional and verbal abuse that just doesn’t stop as much as I try to avoid it. Can’t have a simple conversation without being called names. A simple matter of me having a difference in opinions brings about an explosion of nastiness. I can’t do it anymore
First and foremost, thank you for sharing your story. I empathize with you, I know how incredibly difficult it can be to try and fix a situation that appears to be unfixable. Toxicity in a relationship is incredibly difficult to navigate and I would suggest creating some space between the two of you to re-evaluate. If you need more support, we would be happy to help. Here is the link to book a session if you feel like you need it:
happilycommitted.com/coaching/
- Coach Adrian
I feel this. It's just a different opinion, it should be tolerable. It's get nasty everytime. I still listen and not throwing oil to the fire. But sometimes I get scare if it's out of control and he beat me.
My partner survived breast cancer. It was hell and all during the pandemic. Everyone in the family was affected. It brought all of us closer. But what no one tells you about being the partner turned caregiver is that nothing of what you remembered about life before cancer will return. I’m struggling so much. It is like being with the shell of a person I knew. We are still together and have so much love for each other. There’s no intimacy anymore. I did meet someone and it has wrecked my entire headspace. I hope anyone reading the comments gives themselves grace and time. Leaving any relationship is hard enough. I did not ask for any of this to happen. It felt like we were just starting our life together and then cancer appeared like a tsunami. I also never asked to have someone new enter my life because I was trying to repair everything that was taken from us. I am so angry about it all. Why would this be put in front of me. I have cried so much. None of this seems fair. I spend so much time alone. Being a caregiver is a very isolated existence.
My husband of 40yrs is a covert narcisist.
Please watch this video, I believe it will help you understand what to do.
ua-cam.com/video/_ziJvLHEx9Q/v-deo.html
Coach Adrian
Mine too
I never knew what a narcissist was but I think my husband is one I’m out now.
I believe my husband is a narc as well. I wish I would have known before marrying him.
Wow 40yrs
Ok, good. We are nowhere near any of those. Thanks for the information.
So sad but true. Especially when you put decades into it ...
just like me -----decades what is next??
Great video, A month ago, my five-year relationship came to an end. I really can't stop thinking about the love of my life, who made the decision to leave me. I've done everything in my power to win him back, but it's all in vain, and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I genuinely miss him and just can't stop thinking about him, even though I've tried my hardest to stop thinking about him. I'm not sure why I'm saying this here.
I think abt divorce daily for many years now. Time to take the leap. Will wait til after holidays or at least thanksgiving
Lots of luck!! I feel you, I have been married 36 years not easy being a roommate.
@@ANNAnn-hb1vc I’m so sorry about that okay.
I’ve been fighting for my marriage for 26 years, I know she hates me but I love her and it hurts. I’ve never been so abused by anyone. The names she calls me are freaking disgusting. Every day I’m told I’m not good enough, and getting body shamed. Life sucks, every where I look for help , I get the same.. get out now! I love her .
These signs were in our marriage several years ago. I knew we were having problem in our marriage. I told my husband so. He told me our marriage had no problem he was happy and if I think our marriage had problem then the problem must be me. He told me to go do something with myself. I thought about what he said then I decide to change myself. This went on for a few years. I was not happy. Toward the end we had nothing in common. Then I had a spiritual awakening. Early this years I told him I wanted a divorce. then he realized he was in shit hole all these years and asked me not to leave him. I told him it's too late. I have nothing else to offer him. Marriage him was good, divorced him was better. Being single is the best.
Yep he would rather go to a gym then help me around the house and then he tries to gaslight me and tell me I don't care about his health...
I never had any business being married in the first place. Was married before and hated it. No one should get married in their 20s. Then got married in my 40s KNOWING that I truly wasn’t in love and didn’t want to be married again. So now, I’m leaving in a month for my own happiness.
As a 20 year old I never wanted to get married. I used to when I was in my teens. But growing ups eeing the reality of marriage it just sounds like a nightmare I hope ur doing ok!!
Listening to your message it hit all the right nails on the head have being married for 13years everything I do it's never good enough for him he did me lots of wrong and I still stick with him but I stop out and made one mistake but am the one to get beat with it i feel like am suffering in my marriage this hurts real bad I just want to give it all up and walk awys from it all.
I loved my wife, not anymore..we been together 27 yrs..we're done..I still love her, but she has no love for me!! I'm ready to find that next girl who ...will love me..
I filed and moved out. But now I feel like I made a mistake. Back in October she begged me to come home. Then in November we hooked up and it was like a honeymoon. Then our marriage coach thought it best that we divorce and start all over. He told her that and everything crashed. I want her back so bad. She can not make up her mind. I do not know if I am being manipulated. Now she says “ since I am starting a new business, I may not have the time for you and the business”.
My question is, if everything was perfect , would she be divorcing me to start her business?
All these signs I see right now I'm always the blame... I dont believe in divorce
I really enjoyed your talk. You are 100% correct. There must be sharing and caring from both sides. I love your garden idea. Look after it, nurture it otherwise there will be weeds. Thank you for your message.
After watching this video! I am super clear that I am in a toxic relationship. I am scared to get out. Please pray for my courage.
Curious so stopped to watch the video. Didnt think that everything he said is him breaking down my problems. Leaving is one of the hardest things to ever do. Took the next step and it didn’t work out. I am the ‘problem’, I’m the one that never put in work, I’m the one that will never get anywhere. That’s ok. People have there opinions and i don’t have to sit here and prove myself. Sometimes you have to say enough! Enough of the mental, emotional and physical abuse. The physical abuse is what made me leave. I know i have to die one day but it won’t be in the hands of a man.
I never abuse anyone but I don't get picked by women, only as their last fallback option. Funny how that works ey.
I’m so lost at the moment. I don’t want our marriage to end. But I’m so tired of having been uninteresting or unwanted to my husband for so often and for so long now. Blame game present sometimes actively, but most of the times it’s always present somewhere deep anyway. What am I to do…
My wife cheated on me and now wants to leave me. Saying she isn't in love with me . Idk how i feel right now honestly but I wish we all coulda of seen these things coming before it gets worse
Thank you for reaching out. I understand what you're going through. Please watch this video.
ua-cam.com/video/Q3Gqvg8j5vk/v-deo.html
Coach Adrian
I am guilty of some of these things not all but some, I am still hopeful that my marriage can be saved
Thank you for reaching out, Rawiri. Please visit www.withmyexagain.com/coaching/ so that we can help you.
Coach Adrian
I have been fighting for years she hide stuff does stuff behind my back lying straight to my face
I naturally don't involve my business socially. I promised myself after my last marriage I would wake up slowly to understand what is love! I studied ethamology. The study of word. Understand that gift God gave us! The ability to understand him!