WHY DO I SEEK APPROVAL & VALIDATION FROM OTHERS? | The Needy Inner Child Explained | Wu Wei Wisdom
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- Опубліковано 25 вер 2020
- Discover why your needy inner child seeks approval from other people and how to stop searching for external validation, reassurance, and praise, and become more confident and self-assured... 👉 Work one-to-one with David: www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies...
☯️ EPISODE # 83 of our Life Lessons teaching series
In this video, you’ll learn:
- What drives your ‘approval addiction’ and how it affects your Law of Attraction.
- How your childhood experiences and needy inner child impact your approval-seeking behaviour.
- How to practice self-approval and self-validation, so you can stay strong, confident and self-assured... no matter what other people think of you!
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This is absolutely amazing
We are also easily controlled if we seek validation from outside ourselves.
Yes! Be your own guru and master :) x
@@WuWeiWisdom solar plexus chakra? ;)
@@WuWeiWisdom So how do we control the marslow hierachy of need self esteem need
Happened to me all past 47 yrs😞 but i woke up in 2020 and decided to be my own authority
so true
Recovery is so hard, guys. My ego is always running to protect itself, even when I don't ask it to. Best of luck to everyone❤
Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Small consistent steps on the path to freedom. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Please check out our next LIVE online event. More details here: bit.ly/GTP-Live-Dec-2023. Kind regards, David.
I shrunk myself as a child, was afraid to demand or take too much space because my mom was emotionally weak herself and needed emotional support from everyone. this gave me huge self-worth issues as an adult and affected all my relationships. I have yearned for emotional validation all my life, the satisfaction of being understood has been supreme for me. But I don't wanna seek it from another human anymore. it never works/lasts.
What other people think of me is none of my business! 🙏🙏🙏
Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Kind regards, David.
I am a spiritual being, I am enough, I have value, I am unique, there is no one in the whole world like me!!! Wow these words went straight into my broken heart and soul. You are both a life line to many. Thank you 🙏🏾
I've been doing it all my life and could not understand why I am falling into manipulative relationships over and over again: friends, partners, bosses - but I've been a manipulator myself leeching on their positive strokes, being a “good” girl, a controlled and “good” employee while silencing all my inner true emotions. My parents divorced due to domestic violence when I was very young and my whole identity was stripped off of me - new home, new people, my mum “temporarily” left me with my grandparents - I was never explained what's going on and had to adapt. I am a chameleon and often get feedback how positive I am and agreeable and making a great first impression on people - while I only want to be “pleased” and you're right when saying nothing is enough - I've lost a few contacts from my life due to my insatiable appetite for getting praised and cared for - while it’s me who needs to give it to myself at the first place. I am also an immigrant and lived 5 years away from my family and it only adds to the perception of “no value” as I am different to others but it doesn't mean I have no value! Thank you so much for this video 🙏
Thank you for sharing your story with us. We are delighted that our videos are helping with your spiritual journey and emotional education. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
So in my case, it was not my parents who made me feel less than but rather my peers. Bullying had lasting effects and I still to this day, felt I needed the approval of the “cool” kids well into adulthood. This was a great video and is really inspiring me to work on this
Me too... My parents also. Bullying was horrible for me.... I had shit at home and shit at school I couldn't escape from the criticisms from the bully's and my parents. I'm going to watch this and see if it helps me
Same
Me too
As if I were reading myself. It's the "cool" kids who I felt destroyed me. Sometimes I feel as if all of my life problems were coming from my peers. And self-doubt along the approval addiction that comes as a result of that. This hits to the home so close it almost hurts.
@@luisszczurek3484 I’m sorry to hear, it really is a horrible feeling. You can’t control other people so it makes it even harder. I’ve learned to cherish those who like me for me and step away from trying to always seek approval. It’s such a tiring thing, waiting for people to “choose” you. I’ve learned to choose myself and pay attention to those who already appreciate me without me having to “perform”
The most underrated channel on UA-cam.
Thanks Ashton, we appreciate your support! x
Wu Wei Wisdom and thank you for yours!
Yes, underrated. You folk have helped me understand myself more than any other channel on UA-cam let alone anyone in person. Bless you two and thank you for sharing these critical knowledge with the world
ashton giving people approval makes them look down on us, stop giving approval and people will look upto you,
Amen.
I can really relate to this and I know my "I'm not good enough vow" comes directly from the many times I can clearly remember my parents openly criticized me, called me names, and teachers embarrassed me in front of the whole class because I didn't know the answer to something. I remember one of my teachers was upset and was just short of calling me stupid in front of everyone because I didn't understand the instructions given and messed up in biology class. I don't know if they do it anymore but I always hated it when teachers thought embarrassing the student was good teaching. I took those things to heart and assumed I wasn't good enough then if my own parents and teachers treated me in a way that made me feel bad. Now I realize they all had their own issues, which isn't an excuse and doesn't make it right, but at least it makes me understand it all now.
Thank for sharing your story and for your support Sera! x
sera you are a good person, stop giving approval to others, because they will look down on you, when you stop giving approval, they will look upto you,
💜
Remember judgemental people are usually unhappy people so it was their issue not yours
We grew up with our parents telling us how to behave, to dress, to talk, etc because "what would people think of you?" So much BS. Thank God I refuse to follow and told my mom since very young that I don't care what they think. She start boiling. She use that to control me but she was hardly ever successful.
cried and subscribed. my therapist referred me to your channel. this work is much needed, i've been a child for so long. i needed to be told these things. thank you so much for the healing you bring to this world
Hi Samantha Russo, thanks for watching! We appreciate your support. Alex + David x
p.s. You are also welcome to join our free 'Wu Wei Wisdom Community' Facebook support group here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity ...And you can follow us on Instagram: @wuweiwisdom ~ x ~
I think my vow that I keep telling myself is “I don’t matter.”
I was loved, but left alone a lot as a child until my teen years.
Thanks for helping me find it so I can change that core belief.
loved the example of holding a new born and saying- 'this child has no value..'
it just hit the point! very valuable lesson!!!! thanks a million..
Glad it was helpful! Kind regards, David.
Thank you!!! You've changed my life. Now whenever i catch myself seeking external validation there is David's voice in my head saying, Stop it!! Love you both...
anargha you are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
this hit me. You helped me to understand that the emotional injury hurt my identity in the delicate period where it was still forming, and that it’s me that continued to injure myself. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing... wishing you well on your journey! x
and so you are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
This is me 100% I’m always inwardly desiring peoples approval invalidation Whether it’s my family if it’s someone I may be dating and even strangers if they disapprove of me in someway I will feel so bad. I really hate this about myself.
In my 30's, and mother to a toddler, my Mom told me I'm "a nothing", and that she believed I would always be poor (an anagram for failure to her). I have chaffed against her criticism and disappointment for decades. Time to finally break free.
The same my parents and uncle did to me
I had a professor that told me (and the entire faculty) that I’m not good enough because I let the faculty know his unprofessional behaviors in class that everyone was commenting but no one had the courage to report. I tell myself that it doesn’t bother me but it still does, it’s like a constant negative voice in the back of my head of this person that I don’t even respect. Sometimes is not just in childhood, but in adulthood that we face these situations. Thank you for this very helpful video.
Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Kind regards, David.
I had been trying to express my self-value and self-worth out loud, by posting on social media for example, and that was a huge mistake because without noticing it, I was doing that to get validation from other people, just for making them think how much value I had, and how much worth I had, the true validation is the one we truly feel and not what we want others to feel. Be silent about that.
15:06 really relative. I was
an emotional manipulator. Thinking that was how love worked. How does
love work? 🤔 26:24 I am neither superior nor inferior to anyone. ...I am free of all opinions about me, including my own. ....Therefore I am free of anxiety/judgment.
28:54 I couldn't hold back my tears. Nobody ever said this to me my entire life, it was very emotional to hear it from someone
I just cried so hard listening to that nobody ever said that to me either
Paradoxically your tears are probably coming from the child that he's telling you to disavow.
3:21 to 4:21 for me, my life flashed before my eyes.
Me too, couldn't hold back my tears
@@EvilSapphireR Exactly.
Seeking approval on social media is widespread
The BEST EXPLANATION of the inner child I’ve ever heard and validation. Thank you for helping set me free. 💜
I always seeked validation due to self doubt . Critical the words “what If I can’t” stuck with me . Possibly even out of fear . I feel myself doing things that are unwanted .
To please others which feels odd to me because I lowkey don’t wanna please them . Or maybe I do just not for my selfish ego reasonings Lol
But the belief is there for a reason. To protect us from feeling the pain we felt that led to us creating it. The mind will not allow you to just let it go because then in its eyes you would be left defenceless and would be hurt again.
I have had a fucked up childhood then emigrated on my own to other country speaking different language and now in my 30's have been doing lots of inner work to change my self limiting beliefs, heal trauma and find self worth without looking for external approval and love
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Sounds like you're doing an excellent job. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
@@WuWeiWisdom thank you for your reply.I have just sent a fb request to join the group 🙂
Nobody out of all the great you tubers I watch (teaching about inner child work) have done a better job than you.
I know it’s going to take constant work but the LIFE LESSONS my inner child has just learned! it’s just unbelievable!
You are great, you are loved and appreciated. I am not surprised if one day we are going to see you on National Television! God bless you!😃❤️
Thank you Viola - we appreciate you too! :) x
VIOLA You are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
This is GOLD! 💯
This is a superb video. I believe this should be seen by anyone struggling with narcissism! I am narcissistic and the part that really resonated with me is your description of this behavior as an addiction -- constantly needing that hit. And then constantly manipulating to get the next hit. That has been me through my whole life. My inner child has been in the driver seat and has run my life off the road. I have discussed this with my counselor and read about this but never seen it all laid out as well in one video. I also appreciate your other inner child videos. Thank you!
I believe that I’m not good enough because I could never maintain friendships and now I can’t build friendships at all.
Nobody told me this, I said that to myself.
How do I change this?
You've survived the familiar. Painful, but it kept you alive. The brain only cares about survival. I believe that is the core why old is so appealing.
Hi Yuwati Blade, thanks for watching! We appreciate your support. You may find our Inner Child Video Playlist helpful: ua-cam.com/play/PL9NQ_PWX4zICGLRS1b7q1HSJhZRash5qq.html Alex + David x
Yes!!!!!
wonderful video!
(FACTS OVA FEELINGS) If Eu Surround Urself With Ppl Who Approve of Everything Validate Everything and Give Eu the Freedom to Say and Do Anything and Everything Eu may just be Confusing Yes for Love
Thank you ♥️🦋 you are living your purpose.
This is classic Wu Wei. I wish I had found you guys years ago, helping me make sense of my own inner child and the chains it has me in.
Omg the solid baby example makes me wanna cry 😢 but its very very good
Hi @snowredsnow666,
It's touching to hear that the example resonated deeply with you. Emotions like this can be powerful signals, guiding us towards greater understanding and self-compassion. Embrace these feelings as part of your journey toward growth and clarity.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Kind Regards,
David
This video is brilliant. Thank you very much!
This is an excellent video
I ABSOLUTELY loved every second of this video, you guys always hit the nail on the head
Wonderful. Thanks
deserves million views
I’m bless that I found this video!!! Thank you
Thank you for this information
Thank you for this video!
Glad it was helpful! Kind regards, David.
wonderful and so insightful
Very close to home! Thanks.
fantastic value shared here
I was feeling so hopeless today questioning myself and this video just showed up. Excellent information. Thank you!
This is the best speech ever!!
Thank you!! ♥️
12:47 That's a criminal action we do to ourselves... Omg that shocks!!
Yes! Sometimes the truth can be hard for the inner child and human-centred mind ... but worth hearing :) x
Your video gave me the enlightenment for my problem after more than 40 years!! Thanks so much 🙏🏼
Wow! Powerful video. Thanks for creating this video 😊
rita You are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
What a great interaction between you too and what a great message. Looking forward to be more in contact with you and your content. Thanks for adding value!
This is such Rich Content! I’m so glad I found this channel and it is so needed. Thank you.
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this video! I know I need too much validation and was causing my relationships to end, and I know my mother kicking me out all the time and my dad not being around was part of it, but I couldn't link them. I get it now. This is huge!! 🤯 Thank you 🙏
So much truth... this has been really of help to me, thank you 🧡
You are so welcome. Kind regards, David.
Thank you, as always a very meaningful video
Thank you for watching Silvia! x
I love listening with you, guys! You always make me look at myself and what I truly need... Thank you so much.
kitcab you are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
This made me cry..
I am so grateful for your videos ❤️🙏🏼
brittany You are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
Me too. When he was talking about the poor parenting techniques I could relate so much.
You are so welcome. Kind regards, David.
This Video is gold ✨✨✨ thank you so much❤
This is a Great video and it really goes to the root of the belief "why it is futile to seek approval ". True, nobody knows you better than you yourself. So how can someone, who doesn't know you better, validate your existence? ? It means their So-called love is CONDITIONAL.
Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Kind regards, David.
Very nice teaching
Alexandra always has the best questions !!
This information is so valuable.😊
Glad it was helpful! Kind regards, David.
Thank you!
Thank for watching Jennifer! :) x
Thankyou 🙏....you people are very underrated......
Gratitude 🌺🤗
Saturday with Wu Wei wisdom. Lovely. 💖
Thank you for making us part of your weekend Judith! x
this was so helpful, thank you so much !
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/.
Very informative and loving the passion, this is something I needed to hear
Glad it was helpful! Kind regards, David.
These are literally my favorite motivational videos now. Thank you!
You're so welcome! Kind regards, David.
This video should have 10x as many views. Or 100x. Excellent presentation and explanation. Thank you.
Thank you so much! Wonderful video🌟
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
I've never resonated with a video more.
Im crying rn. It hits me hard 😭 everything you just said is so me. I didnt know that its my wounded inner child . All my life im always wanted more and look good because i wanted to be validated. Im scared to fail because people may get dissapointed and leave me . Now i understand . Now i know where to start. What to heal . What to focus on. Thank you i found this ❤️
Awesome video
Thanks a lot for the session ♥️♥️
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
this video is very important
I can relate to this, stopping blaming others was the hardest, nevertheless it is necessary, now I’m trying to remain on the straight and narrow, great video! 🙏
Thank you. Great information for redirecting your future path
Glad it was helpful! Kind regards, David.
Thank you so much for this wisdom: It helps a lot as I work on myself. You're a blessing to everyone needing this.
You are so welcome. Kind regards, David.
I am so thankful for this channel ! Тhank you for your videos, wisdom and passion about everything you speek. This helps me to overcome some childhood traumas and to level up! :)
Great video guys 😊
Thank you. Kind regards, David.
I am very particular about the kind of content I consume (as I am more spiritually inclined) and I feel this is SO well presented and inspiring. I love the inner child analogy. The ultimate emphasis on Self - love. Truly wonderful.
Referred here by my therapist. Great video!
This has helped me so much, I thank God for it. I hope to be a better leader.
As always,David speaks such valuable truth but in this video i felt David's tone and mannerism was a little too harsh for me in such a sensetive topic and left me hurting.But over all David and Alex, I'm really thankful for all you have to offer and so far, all i have watched has really begun to transform my life for the better. Thank you so much!
Hello Elah, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
Your videos are absolutely amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. God bless you.
You are so welcome. Kind regards, David.
Life changing information 🙌❤️
Glad you think so! Kind regards, David.
Thank you 🙏
I was crying throughout the whole video. I had a breakdown a few hours ago and this video was really helped me understand how and why I feel so many things. Thank you so much for this! 🥺 I would surely watch more of your content.
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
One way some will validate is the attempt to overachieve simply for recognition. That is the topic this week for my own subscribers is seeking validation from society. Nothing you do should be to achieve a social awarded round of applause. Are you pursuing something because of what others will think? And if you are this is usually because you are trying to compensate for something in your past--and usually that is trauma from others. It took me years to learn that the reason I was driven so hard in the military on a reconnaissance team was to make up for an abused past--in high school and home. I was glad I went through carrying a hundred pounds and operating in remote conditions on a small team because it gave me the strength to operate in a corrupt healthcare field today as a practitioner. But for five years in the reserves and active duty I was pursuing something for the sake of what others would think---not what I really wanted. This goes for career or any endeavor you do. As Tony Robbins says, you have to ask your "why." If you align your why to your interest base and then apply the effort--that is when you will be in alignment in your spiritual plane. And many are in a state of discontent because they are not. Hope this helps someone---Charles
So it sounds like seeking validation is a negative outcome of the widely used system of positive reinforcement😳
Hi SHWETA PARWE, yes, it can be. thanks for watching! We appreciate your support. You may find our Inner Child Video Playlist helpful: ua-cam.com/play/PL9NQ_PWX4zICGLRS1b7q1HSJhZRash5qq.html Alex + David x
Brilliant!! You really hit things on the head, realise this is what has always been my way of thinking, just have no idea how to make it stick...
angie You are a great person, stop giving approval to others, you will feel much better about yourself, when you give approval people look down on you, when you stop giving approval people look upto you,
I'm 17 and this blew my mind
Thank you. This is life changing. I sent this video to my daughter and hope she looks at it.
Thanks for sharing our work Ursua - we hope it helps your daughter! x
Thank you for this messages amen
Finding this channel is definitely changing my life positively. Love from Kenya
Awesome! Thank you!
Omg AMAZING VIDEO. Thank you so much, I loved it, so informative and helpful. Thank you so much for supporting us on our journey 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️
Glad it was helpful!