LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF | The Truth About Self-Love | Wu Wei Wisdom
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- Опубліковано 30 жов 2020
- Discover the truth about love, what stops you from loving yourself, and how to finally love yourself - unconditionally! 👉 Work one-to-one with David: www.wuweiwisdom.com/therapies...
☯️ EPISODE # 88 of our Life Lessons teaching series
Have you ever said: ‘’I don’t know how to love myself’’ or ‘’I don’t deserve love’’?
Are you always searching for love and giving love to others, but you never get the love you so desperately crave in return?
In this teaching, we expose the LIES we tell ourselves about what love is, and why we CAN’T or SHOULDN’T love ourselves.
You’ll also learn how to take self-responsibility for truly, deeply, unconditionally loving yourself every single day!
Teaching highlights:
- The truth about what love really is and why you cannot ‘earn’ love.
- Why misunderstanding ‘love’ can create codependency in relationships.
- The top reasons and excuses we use for NOT loving ourselves.
- Why your inner child refuses ‘self-love’ and is addicted to love and validation from other people.
- The essential steps required to unconditionally love yourself.
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🌱 ABOUT US & OUR LIFE LESSONS SERIES
In this series, Taoist monk and therapist David James Lees and wellbeing coach Alexandra Lees answer questions about your life challenges and offer inspirational insight and support to help you live in balance, harmony and flow.
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Disclaimer: This video and any associated advice and comments shared are not a substitute for professional therapy, mental health care, crisis support, medical advice, doctor diagnosis, or professional healthcare treatment. Our videos and website posts provide general information for educational purposes only and are offered as suggestions for you and your professional therapist or healthcare advisor to consider and research.
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❓ Did you enjoy this video? Post your comments and questions below - we'd LOVE to hear from you!
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Thank you.could you make a video on social anxiety please??‽
I went to therapy and it made my victim thinking even stronger and it made me even more depressed.
I need this type of teaching and coaching. Thank you
I wish I could express how much your videos have been helping me over the past two years. Little by little I've began to see positive changes and even when I feel like I'm inching to slip into old habits and patterns, I've been doing better and better with taking control and mentoring this poor upset child in myself. Thank you. 🙏
We're so pleased we can help you in this way Denny! x
@@WuWeiWisdom 我me too , your video is what I really need
This was a great segment! I learned a lot. Thank you for the videos!
"Poor upset child in myself" really hits home with me this year. MIne's full of anger, rage, grief, lonliness, fear, etc. She's also very resistant to opening up, but we'll get there someday...
Thank you so much for all the effort and support ❤❤❤
You are so welcome. Kind regards, David.
Even David saying I love you makes me feel good 😁
David, the simple brilliance of your teaching is life altering! I Thank you and Alex so much and I am so thankful for you both.
Thank for your support Debbie! x
Thank you for another brilliant life lesson. You are absolutely correct that I am punishing my parents for their poor parenting techniques. I’ve never loved myself but I’m learning how to parent my inner child more every day. The truth will set you free if I may say that. Bless you both. ❤
You are so welcome. Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Kind regards, David.
Omg you are my UA-cam parents ❤ thank you for all the lessons 🙏
WE ARE ALL AWESOME HUMAN SPIRITUAL BEINGS. GOOD BLESS EVERYONE💖😍🙏🌹🏴
Thank you Evelyn! x
It's been almost two years when I started watching you guys, and at first I relied on making everyone happy. I wanted them to love me back too, but didn't love myself. I had expectations. Two years later, I try to put myself first for once so I can fill someone else's cup when mine isn't empty. Filling my own cup helps me to help others that actually appreciate my help. It took sooooo long, but finally I made the authentic choice for myself and then others.
This video literally has me in tears. I just don't know how to stop hating myself, so that I can love myself.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself. God made you special to him. Valuable
I watched the video 8 month ago and still have new insights and clarity after watching it again. Thank you David and Alex!
The word ‘love’ is both a noun and a verb. In the past, an ex, regularly said ‘l love you’, but as time went on I noticed his words & actions NEVER matched. I brought this to his attention many times towards the end of our 2 year relationship - which I ended. I knew I deserved better. I know why I attracted him & one reason was he was a narcissist, drawn to me like a moth to a flame. What wasted years. His narcissistic behaviour was unconsciously familiar to me (from childhood). Self-love saved me, but it’s still something I struggle with. Thank you for a great vlog 🌻
This was such an excellent lesson and crystal clear. Since our love from parents, teachers, and authority figures was so transactional, when we didn't get it, we thought there was something wrong with us. Now as adults we have the power to create it for ourselves because we know it comes from our worth and value, which is innate. So we don't ever have to doubt it again! Very powerful indeed. Thank you, David and Alex. Much love to you. ❤🙏💜
Thank you, that's very heart-warming feedback. We appreciate it. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
The word thank you does not express my inner feelings and gratitude to this excellent video, and the clarity it has given me. I always activity rejected the the notion of "Self-Love" as selfish self-absorbed, uncaring, arrogant vanity lacking appreciation of awareness for others, now I can see my own self beliefs are so far from true. Thank you , for the great work you both do. XX
Fantastic! Your teachings offer me the opportunity to recognize and own my responsibility for the quality of my life. Your teachings stimulate my thinking and feed the inner 'me' who wants to learn to love myself.
If I say that I want to grow, your teachings are the whys and hows. I've always had this 'bike'... I just didn't want to risk 'falling' because I thought of it as 'failing'. You teach me that falling is actually a part of the learning process. Falling shows progress... because it is beyond 'inaction'... and it can stimulate the procedure of 'problem solving' in anyone who continues to desire growth.
Thank you again and again.
🤓👍🌷
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
@@WuWeiWisdom Thanks so much. I am now a member of your Facebook community. I'm grateful for your continued support. 🤓👍
Absolutly amazing teaching. Thank you David and Alex. Gamechanger for sure. Love the straightforward authentic statements of David. Cutting through the stories and getting to the core issue and challenging us to take self responsibility for choosing to create live for ourselves. Im in awe here xx
Thank you for your support Selene - we appreciate you! x
In my opinion, this may have been the most profound teaching I've watched here. Thank you so kindly...
I think you guys represent the final furlong on a personal journey I began a while ago. It's been a revelation to listen to your teachings. Amazingly simple and clear. Wisdom drops like a gentle shower and there is no going back. Thank you for these videos.
I have never heard this teaching of Love being a feeling. I believe this is partly true but I also sense that God the creator of mankind is Love and that through praying for another person we can be co-creators in people around us having an experience of love. I certainly get a sense when a person is sending me good vibes through prayer. I believe that love comes in many forms including tough love and so love might feel difficult but I overall sense that healthy actions contribute to self love and loving our neighbour.
Thank you Alex and David for the love you always show for us 💕🥰! My whole life thought that love was something that other people will give me , like a cup of love... literally... 😅. Thanks for this teachings. I am now clear what love is and how can I share the feeling of love to my loved ones. Love is like a fountain of many feelings, like empathy, connection, joy and compassion 😁 and I am blessed to be the creator of all those feelings! Thank you guys for all the teachings 👊🏻🥳🥳
You're welcome Paola - thank you for your support! x
I have just discovered your video. It gives me a feeling that someone knows me. I was born out of wedlock and was not accepted by maternal grandmother who brought me up. Thanks for the videos towards discovering my purpose.
Thanks for sharing! Kind regards, David.
This is Amazing I have TOOK NOTES I know There is HARD WORK AHEAD OF ME DAVID BUT I KNOW I HAVE THIS WITHIN ME. I LIVE ON MY OWN AND HAVE COUNCILING ONCE A WEEK. I THANK GOD FOR YOU BOTH. YOU ARE BOTH AN INSPIRATION TO ME. LOVE IS AN EMOTION IT'S A FEELING I AM WORTHY OF GIVEN MYSELF THIS BEFORE I LEAVE THIS EARTH. AMAZING THANK YOU SO MUCH. 🏴💖🌹😍🤩🙏
Alex and David truly nailed it with this one. Amazing. Exactly true. Love you both ❤️❤️
What a brilliant & helpful teaching!!!! So thankful for this! Very helpful!
Hello Loni, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
You definitely learn from your parents behavior, right or wrong.
May God bless you brother and sister
Thank you Judy. Kind regards, David.
You have explained this issue so explicitly and given a holistic truth.
Every angle covered.
This video is robust.
Thank you.
It's so profound.
You got me @ It's an 8yrs old running your life.
Very important teachings - thank you! Now, I know better, will think and behave differently. Love is demonstrated to others, felt/emotion for self. Thank you!!
David and Alex, you are my angels and i believe for the whole of humanity and anyone who wants to change their life for the better....all my life i have battled with self love and in this year 2020, i found you and I m listening and taking in all you say and it makes sense and it is changing my being from within. I thank the Universe for bringing you to me!
Your videos literally changed my life. Thank you so much for the efforts you guys put to make these teachings.
This video series is extremely helpful and synchronistic. Thank you. 🙏
Hi Sunshine74444,
We're so glad to hear that our video series has been extremely helpful and synchronistic for you. It's wonderful to know that our content resonates with your journey. Thank you for your gratitude and for taking the time to share your thoughts. If you're interested in further exploring these topics and connecting with a supportive community, consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom community.
Your encouragement and feedback are greatly appreciated.
Regards,
David
This inner child work is so important to start the healing ! Thanks 😁x
This is so powerful. You explain it in ways I can totally see and understand. Thank you so much for these videos!
Glad it was helpful! Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Please check out our next LIVE online event. More details here: bit.ly/GTP-Live-Dec-2023. Kind regards, David.
This material heals codependency. By the way, speaking of love. I love you two
Happy Saturday evening to you Wu Wei wisdom
Wishing you a peaceful weekend! x
Dear David, you are awesome! God bless you! Thank you for this wonderful teaching! 🙏
Hi David and Alex Thankyou so much for this video ..It's really helpful ..x ❤
Thank you Denise - sending love! x
IAM so grateful that people like you exist thank you so much gentleman and Lady you are helping me more than you imagine God bless you 🙏
Bang On!!!!!
This was the most spiritual lesson that you taught 🙌❤️
May God Bless you for your Work and support you in whatever you want to achieve 🙏
Thank you R D - we appreciate you! x
It's Sunday evening and I am relaxing with Wu Wei wisdom. Thank you David and Alex. 💖
Thank you Judith! x
Thank you so much. This has been so self-empowering for me ❤️
Your videos are revolutionary! They have changed my life entirely!
Excellent as always ❤️
Thank for your support Bindiya! x
THE key.
Thanks for watching! x
@@WuWeiWisdom we never wanted a utopian disney world. We only wanted to be accepted by our parents and that s what every humanbeing is entitled
Thank you so much for this video, what a profound lesson.
Thank you Raiza! x
Thank you.
Thank you for clearing my misconceptions about the emotional feeling called "Love".🙏
Thought provoking video - Self-love's importance can't be overstated! I went deep into self-love in a love series last week on my channel also. I hope videos like ours inspire people to seek self-love in life. Just subscribed to your channel also - UA-camrs like yourself should be highlighted more
Thanks for your support Brian! x
@@WuWeiWisdom Sure no problem
Thank you for your continued videos
You're welcome Sarah - we appreciate your support! x
Such powerful insight! Thank you so much. I agree with David on the logic that love is a description of an emotional feeling, can be demonstrated but cannot be transferred. Thank You!
You have revolutionised my life❤❤❤❤
Thank you for your support Millicent - we're delighted we can help you in this way! x
Thank you so much for your Work!!!
Powerful and one of the best yet ! 👍
Thanks Paul! x
What an interesting perspective your client had, to refuse to succeed so his parents couldn't take the credit. Had that an unconscious thought that bubbled up in therapy? I always used insults as fuel, as in "I'll show you." Poor guy, self sabotaging all of his life.
Anger is punishing oneself for the mistakes of others.
Thank you both for another lesson to learn. You are awesome, God bless you!❤️ ❤️❤️
Thanks for your support Viola! x
Thank you Alex and David for your amazing teachings 😊❤️ Xx
Wonderful wisdom on love, I remember reading Wayne Dyers book The Sky's the Limit about 40 years ago and learning about how we are responsible for our feelings , no one else is, I've also realized that my Mother did the best with what she knew at the time so I learned to cut her some slack and forgive.
I think if our parents would have been fortunate enough to know about Wu Wei things would have turned out very different for us. But think about what kind of upbringing they experienced....and on it goes,
So do the work, learn, forgive, move on and raise your children in the Wu Wei
It’s quite hard to love yourself if you have lots of bad experiences, emptiness and wounds inside because when you direct your attention to yourself all those red lights come up. And for me understanding and rationalizing is one thing but the thing that heals my heart is feeling and processing emotions in a loving and caring environment. When I finally let my inner child speak to me about all those bad experiences and I was just listening, stuck energy started to move and cleared the space and let the love in. This also created bonding with my inner child and made a safety net for him so he finally feels secure.
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. As though you're doing an excellent job! Keep up the good work. Kind regards, David.
This was very difficult to hear, but I really needed to hear it. Got a long way to go with all this. Listening to this is very painful and I know it's true. Narcissistic toddler spouse and son seem to be cut from the same cloth, along with oldest daughter. Guess NPD & Autism are very dominant traits. IDK
Brilliant! Thank you so much.
Glad it was helpful! Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Kind regards, David.
Thank you
Thanks for watching! x
Everyone needs this video!
Thank you so much guys. So relevant as ever. ❤❤❤
Thank you Dee! x
Thank you for such an inspiring video! Such a great reminder that it is an inside job and there are tools for me to use.
I agree that when people use the word “love” this is commonly a description of an emotional feeling. We create the feeling. Love is also an action/ a demonstration that benefits. When we produce the emotion love and then demonstrate and act on the feeling of love we produce, we perform the act of love. We need to do that for ourselves first and then we can relate with love to others. There’s a emotional understanding of the word and an existential understanding of the word love. We need to understand the emotional part and how we create the feeling as it relates to ourselves first. We have to create the feeling of love first. Then, we can demonstrate the feeling of love for others and we can receive their loving acts. Is that in line with what you’re saying or am I muddying the waters?
Many thanks!
This video was amazing! thank you ! Thank you ! you guys make a great team! your guys are amazing! thank you so much for your work!
Excellent!! Thank you so much!!
So grateful for your videos.
Got it!!!!... 🙏 Thank you SO much ❤️
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - we answer questions and offer guidance and teachings to our members here: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
Excellent line of questioning as usual Alex 😊 thank you David and Alex
Thank Joanne! x
Thank u so much this really helped me
Thank you so much for this lesson! I know that some messages, from my childhood, have programmed me to believe that I'm not worthy of unconditional love. You are correct, I have been chasing validation and love. Unfortunately, this brought me to marriage with someone very much like you described. Where I was seeking validation and approval, he was seeking those, as well as someone to make him feel loved at all times, and someone to agree with and support his anger. The 8 year old child that you described, sounds exactly like my husband. I struggle with believing that he even knows how to love our children, as he has continued the verbal and psychological abuse that he was raised with. He very much is the vengeful type, who believes that his parents should pay for what they did to him. Yet, he cannot see that he has done the same to our kids and to me. We are divorcing, after 21 years of marriage. I wish that he would listen to your teachings. Unfortunately, he has rejected every offer of help in this area. It has finally become clear that my kids and I need to get away, and work on healing ourselves.
Question: should he pay for what he did to you?
BTW, was very moved by your story. Wish you the best!
@@vivvpprof Thank you! I'm not looking for him to pay for what he did to us, even when my anger is most intense. Thankfully, he has agreed to give our kids space. We can't go no contact, yet. I do wish that he would stop telling people that I turned our kids against him, when in reality they have never felt comfortable with him. Hopefully, he will eventually be honest with himself and a therapist. Hopefully, he won't hurt his fiancee, but probably will. He can only see his pain and needs, and believes that those closest to him should regulate his emotions for him. For now, our kids and I are so much calmer, since he moved out a year ago. We are healing, but it's definitely a process.
Thanking you 🙏
Hello, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest. Kind regards, David.
Oh my god ! Thank you so much both of you guys for teaching me the answers of the questions I have been finding from years, You guys are a blessing.
Great to hear!
This is one of, if not the most, important videos I’ve watched on UA-cam. Thank you thank you David and Alex 🙏🏽
I recognise myself in the description of entitled child. Thank you for this insight🙏
Thankyou i am so gr8full for your teaching .....wow I needed to be taught this xxx
Absolutely brilliant
Beautiful!
Hello Anluska, Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
Love this love you guys X fantastic video very generous teachings 🤟
Still watching (second time through), but I think there's something missing, a _reason_ to love myself. Okay, I see where it comes from, but that doesn't change the the decision I made in childhood, that I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough to be loved (at least by the people I want to love me), that I must be defective in some way, and since no one has ever loved me enough to make me question that decision, I don't have any reason to question it now.
Of course you have a reason to question it, and the reason is, bc it simply isnot true!!!! Seek thetruth my friend and the truth sill set you free!! And the truth is we all are wprthy of love and we need not do anything to prove it. We are worthy of love simply bc we exist, because we all are spirituall beings, God s children !!!!! See yourself for who you are
Thank you!
Thanks for watching Gaukher! x
Wow thank 👏 🙏
This is amazing
Thank you for taking the time and trouble to watch and comment on our videos and work; we appreciate your interest and support. Why don't you consider joining our FREE and private Wu Wei Wisdom Community Facebook support group - Over 7,000 members discuss WWW teachings, answer questions and share experiences: facebook.com/groups/wuweiwisdomcommunity/. Kind regards, David.
This channel is great!!
I can not create a feeling of love for someone who can’t create a feeling of love for me.
This is profound. Thank you
I have only come across your videos and really like your approach and simple way of explaining things, really helpful to me and the young people I support. Thank you.💜🙏🏼
Glad you like them!
Hi Alex and David. Thank you for this video. I wonder if David would be able to do a guided meditation with an inner child dialogue focus? A dialogue we could follow while visualising holding our inner child? Just a suggestion. Thanks
Great suggestion! Kind regards, David.
I love your work, thank you for doing this 🤍
simply wonderful
Thank you Rajita! x
So true thank you for your words of such wisdom.
This is wonderful, thank you both and I appreciate so much
Glad you enjoyed it! Kind regards, David.
On first listening I felt moved and got a lot out of this but subsequent listenings haven’t been the same. Is my inner child casting doubt on this
Your Shen knows the answer to this question Colin ;)
Had a few 'Holy #$*!' moments in this video.
I wish I knew all this before I had my own children. How can I cope with the idea that I didn’t do all the right things?
Hi oxfordhappy,
Thank you for your honest and heartfelt message. It's a common feeling among many parents to reflect back and wish they had known more or done things differently. Remember, parenting is a journey filled with learning and growth, and it's never too late to make positive changes or mend relationships.
Coping with the idea that you didn't do everything perfectly is a part of accepting our human nature. It's important to forgive yourself for any perceived shortcomings and to recognize the love and effort you've put into parenting. You might find it helpful to communicate openly with your children, acknowledging your feelings and learning from their perspectives as well.
Remember, every step you take towards understanding and growth is valuable, both for you and your children.
Sending you strength and compassion on your journey of self-reflection and continued growth as a parent.
Regards,
David
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It will take some thinking about how I might start a conversation, I’m worried about starting a train of thought that hasn’t occurred to them and what consequences there might be. Some things might be better left unsaid, and I should just concentrate on doing my best going forward.
Very powerful video. Thank you.
I seem to be having an issue with at 40.50 minutes. When David said we can 'find' love and create love. I understand the create love part. But where does he mean by 'find' it?
Another great video as usual. I have a quick question. Do you find that men have more difficulty accepting the concept of self love as they have all those years of indoctrination to overcome first. Men shouldn't show emotion, big boys don't cry, showing emotion is a sign of weakness etc etc?
Hi Grahame, it's hard to generalise as some men do have difficulty for the reasons you have said but in some instances, these kinds of beliefs also apply to women too. x
I disagree, I feel more women have the issue because they were taught to be caregivers.
On the other hand, not allowing male to show emotions, it the worst kind of child abuse.
Every time I think about self love and loving myself , I get a feeling of anxiety, and then I go back to my old thoughts and negative cycle as it feels less anxious . Why is this?