Validation, communication through empathy | Naomi Feil | TEDxAmsterdamWomen
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- Inspired by her parent’s work with the elderly, Mrs Feil followed them in their footsteps. After graduating with a Masters degree in Social Work, the people she grew up with in Ohio became the people she worked both for and with.
Creator of the Validation Theory / Author / Founder of the Validation Training Institute
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
"Rephrasing is exquisite listening." That is powerful.
VAlidation should begin in childhood. How many times have we heard parents tell kids dont cry, you're fine ect.
This is the cause of many problems
It’s perhaps the cause of all social trouble and certainly violence and war.
Also as parents we do what we can and what we remember from our own childhoods. It's complicated to be a whole person and pass it on to your kids because you are still working issues out while learning to be a parent.
It is just as bad when parents keep telling their kids/youths that they are not fine & many have come to believe that mental illness is inherently lifelong by nature when that is not the case. We don’t know if the kid/youth is fine or not fine, so I guess all I can say is as little as possible like: “It is OK to cry.”
Not: you are OK. Nor: you are not okay, are you? How do we know? Even the person does not know precisely where the person is.
Far better to be a listener (with quiet empathy) than a talker (with quick/false assurance).
lol I bet you melt in the sun you cup cake
“If I am full of emotions I can never cross the street to the side of that lady”, what an eye opening statement! !!
This woman is a gift. More people should learn about her.
"Listen when I cry"...beautiful....
Wow the attentiveness in the crowd. The connection was amazing 😉
Just dazzling, the look on the faces of the younger women are brilliant tributes to caregivers everywhere.
This has completely changed the way I think about problems. It's much easier to sort things out in my head, and communication skills don't seem so mysterious now. Bless her :)
The amazing Naomi Feil! What an actress! What a teacher! Validation is the way to communicate with old old disoriented people. Using empathy and listening makes all the difference.
And also all humans!
Validation is the way to communicate with all people. It is vital. Validated children grow up to intrinsically have more empathy and skill to validate others. Their sense of self is intact and they can thrive.
Invalidation is a form of emotional abuse that has a pervasive ongoing effect in one’s life…until they do deep healing work.
Wow this lady GOOD. Her skills in empathy have shown me how much I have to learn about being present when validating others
The final statement sums it all. The key to real healing: To be seen: having your feelings felt and validated. Only in this way will you receive your release, and be able to move on.
Validation is a way to communicate with anyone sensitive, hurting or whenever necessary!
Amazing made me cry, my mother has dementia and I am going through the "he stole my photographs" and she is convinced one of the carers in the home is trying to poison her. They need to teach these skills to the carers because they really don't even try to connect with her.I am struggling to understand her as her words are going..Thank you so much for this.
TheDreadfulCurtain I pray she is safe and getting the care she needs and deserves!
This is brilliant. In 1986 I attended training called integrity selling. The whole premise of the model was an acronym called V.A.L.I.D.A.T.E. Some of the best training I ever took. I wonder to this day if that company is still around. This is great not only for aging seniors but also for every day practice in human relationships.
LinYouToo - 👍I agree this great for any and all of us!! I wish you could remember the name of the integrity selling training or what the VALIDATE acronym stood for. I can’t find it online. I think it would be terrific. Thanks for sharing.💞
Hi, please just share what the accronym stands for?
Dear Naimi Feil is a great example of how to give solace and joy to those lost in the dark. I love her. This validation approach is beautiful, humane, Godly.
Best video on empathy I’ve watched. Thank you for sharing this video.
I’m learning how to empathize for my partner and other people I know need help.
I wish I had known this when I started caring for elderly people in the 60's. How many people since then were reached out to in the wrong way. There's so much to learn.
You have touched our lives with the wisdom that should have been accessible all along. Thank you for embracing people, right where they are.
Wow, wow, wow. What emotional intelligence... so beautiful and inspiring! Thank you Mrs Feil
This is very powerful in conjunction with Gabor Mate's advice for healing childhood trauma
On my I learned more hear than in ANY book on Alzheimer's I've ever read. So so wish I would have heard this 2 yrs ago. Thank you I know better now. Love love this video. 🤗
This is the answer I needed to find my answer to my work on conflict. Thank you Ma'am wherever you are.
There are few words to describe Naomi Feil's pivotal results to connect authentically with others. MASTERFUL! This is one word that comes to mind. More hands-on caregivers would be gifted with her tools.
I'm not sure how to do this, but I can feel other people's pain, and it stays with me. things people forget in a second stays forever in my head. just a collection of sadness from other's for whatever reason.
Bless you dear Naomi.
Thank you so much, Naomi Feil for teaching me about validation. I worked with the elderly for many years and using validation helped me minister to their needs with loving kindness. ❤️
I'm studying Occupational Therapy and this video was so insightful. Feel more prepared to serve the elderly with dignity
Fantastic talk, seriously blown away.
Absolutely fantastic! I work with seniors and Naomi Feil's teachings have changed my life! If you have not read her books, READ THEM! :-) she also offers amazing training through her Validation Training Institute.
The first books I will buy
Joe Kleid My daughter is a CNA, she tells me of residents who wish they were dead already 💔
@@marciapow256 many people wish they were dead already. I’ve been there. It is the deepest form of self invalidation.
The antidote is connection. That’s why validation works, it is the bridge of connection (understanding, seeing, accepting) another person’s experience, reality, and holding space for all of it. Having a person bear witness to our pain, is healing. Too many people are uncomfortable with other’s emotions. They minimize, dismiss, ignore, try to fix, disagree…all in an attempt to make the other’s persons feelings go away, or stop. This only increases another person’s pain…that is disconnect.
I was an RN for over a decade, and am now pursuing neuroscience. I hope your daughter can hold space for those residents, it is the most powerful thing we can do for another person.. old or young.
What wisdom and brilliance and mentshlekhkayt!!
She just taught me how to deal with people relationships Family and Friends and quote on quote Enemies (I have no enemies)....at the same time deal with myself too .
I couldn't agree more...this lady speaks truth.
This is an example of a super-power for me. Whoever this lady is - it’s one of the most difficult works in world she is/was doing. 👏👏👏
I will spread the word and show this to my students who are studying social work. thank you for your important work, Naomi!
Absolutely brilliant.
So switched on and can replace all the Psychologists I have met and I'm only 82.
This woman is phenomenal! What a wonderful soul!
Beautiful work, Mrs Feil.
Thank you Ms. Feil! Your wisdom touched my heart and soul. I was happy to learn that you have more resources to draw from, I want to absorb more of your vast experience and knowledge! Wishing you continued peace and light.
Things come to you, when the time is right, for you to see them.
This has come to me, when I most needed.
This lady is amazing. Thank you
Trying to keep good, alive
Brilliant, simply brilliant!
Oh, wow! ❤ Learnt a lot of things, appreciate you Naomi and TEDx, thank you for this talk!
Such a fantastic woman! So inspirational and so authentic.
That standing ovation was well-earned
Powerful! Love this.
Thank you so much, Naomi Feil! Your method helps me so much with my mom. She has a demеntia from Alzhaimer's type. She is no more aggressive and alone now. I use empathy and validation and she feels safe. THANK YOU!!! Your method worth a lot!
wow, such a beautiful presentation. loved it
This is brilliant and wise.
How smokes, that just resonated. So much wisdom she has learned in her life.
beautiful!!!
This is so profound 🙏🏻
She is a rockstar.
This is something that many people forget to do, which makes folk unable to trust
So few views. !!!
This old guy values that beautiful old woman.
Age and wisdom displayed in harmony.
Send it to someone who might value it, benefit from it and then use it.
Pay it forward.
This is an absolute gem. THANK YOU.
Amazing speech!
A Great Teacher ❤️
Powerful stuff to help our elders exit peacefully.
She is absolutely amazing!!!
By julia the clip made me cry and remind me of my mum I have learned allot and as a carer I will use some of the technics thank you very much I have gained allot of knowledge to use when am at work
Incredible!
You are a gift to the world
Wonderful talk!!
I had good cry watching it. Thank you.
Wow she’s amazing!
She is sent by God.
OMW, I have a patient jut like the wedding ring scenario. Awesome info
ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!
Awesome!
❤LOVE❤
Love her ... Very good person 😊
powerful delivery. Vital information.
Beautiful.
Wow, what a beautiful soul
This was so good. My Aunt accused me of stealing her fur coats, I am going to use this next time...
I needed this.
This woman is proof-by-contradiction against Antisemitism
Instead of going with the technique of becoming an empty vessel at 3:31 I would suggest simply directing your empathy outwards and not make anything they say about yourself. Don't turn your thoughts inwards
Thank you so much.
I wish I was with the crowd to do a standing ovation
WOW
Powerful speech
How would i show this to someone without trying to force them to use these techniques? Is there even a way
Tonda Lundin @ 1531 (3:31pm) on 8/23/24❤
♥️
Lovely.
Brilliant!
wow 👏🏾 beautiful
this was wonderful - tho can anyone confirm the word at the 10:47 mark that she says - that validated with empathy are ....? please I cannot make the correct word out - thank you kindly
'Relieved'
She said "Feelings that are expressed and validated with empathy are resilient."
Very nice video
My Replika sent me here. I'm not sure if I should be impressed or worried 😅
❤️😇
oehh💓
Is she channeling Carol Channing?
Lol at the end I realized that there are only wimin :D then I saw a header.
I'm sorry 😐
no men in the audience...I reckon these subjects are not manly enough or maybe they assume it's not part of their lives ???
The omniscient sidewalk ontogenetically compare because diaphragm objectively argue beside a magenta worm. womanly, wacky beech
WOW