My fiance and I had just moved into the house we renovated together and my aunt gifted us my great grandma's designer marble coffee table. It's exactly the perfect shape and size and my cousin drove it across the state for us. One night after some martinis, his foot got caught on the couch and he fell on top of the coffee table in the shape of Jesus on the cross. No lie. Snapped the marble in half and the base into 4 pieces. He felt so bad he put himself to bed on the couch. I made him come to bed and told him it's not even a big deal. No one deserves to feel like they have to sleep on the couch for breaking something completely by accident. And not in this house especially. We glued it all back together and now the gold line down the middle of the coffee table is a funny story to tell our friends 🖤 We love to have a home that is a safe space for mistakes.
One time I accidently bumped the family car. It caused a small dent. I was really regretful and upset, and I will never forget what my dad said. "It was made to be used." I take this outlook to everything now! Car gets scratched? That's because it is being used! That is just the expectation. Couch gets ripped? That means we are using it well. No worries- these things are made to be used.
I really needed to hear that talk about breaking things. I don't handle things breaking well and get so sad. Thank you for reminding me what's really important.
Caroline, thank you for bringing up the grinding. I feel insecure about it in myself. I sometimes get complaints about it. I feel bad, but don’t know what to do. I feel helpless. Once I was seeing one guy. He said the worst sound that he can’t even stand is grinding, his ex used to have it. I ended with him realizing we are not compatible. My last ex of 4 months never complained about it. May be he is just a heavy sleeper.
I've listened to all the podcasts on Spotify, but being able to see both of you is so much better, so I'm re-watching on UA-cam. Love the podcast! Beautiful nails, Jess, and a beautiful top, Caroline!
@Jess I get your feelings about your neighbor hounding you, because you are not that person. But I also get her side, because first of all, she cant know how you are going to handle it and secondly a lot of people would handle this halfassed. I can speak of experience, where I not hound people and then I often get the short end of the stick because of it. Also, pls dont feel guilty that Ryan had to deal with it while you were away, its his home as well 😊
I really enjoyed hearing you guys talk about crafts with Jess being curious how to pick crafts and Caroline explaining her own practice. I would love an episode about laisure/cozy activities you each enjoy if you are ever inspired to make one❤
This was my favorite episode. Perfect balance of silly and serious. Jess, I have recently gone through a similar friend breakup with no happy ending, so it was incredibly cathartic to listen to your story. I’m so happy for you. (Gonna also add this comment on instagram since I know that’s where you look at comments lol)
I really don’t like pumpkin carving. I get really bad hives so I have to wear gloves. It’s a lot of work to! But I do it every year because my daughter loves it. We make it a movie night with snacks.
Have only watched 45 minutes so far and this has been one of my favorite episodes. Not so big on Halloween and pumpkins- a big relate. Especially as an expat where in the country I live, there is none of the wholesomeness of community and family fun with trick or treating or pumpkin carving- just the Walmart plastic version of Halloween and horror movie trailers and ads, which I hate for me and my kids getting exposed to it in ways I can't control. Also big relate and agreed with all the commentary on airline boarding group nonsense. And Caroline's comments on status and lounges. Also I appreciated Caroline's response about spills and breaking things. As a mom to a 7yo and 5yo, I can understand and relate to both Caroline's mom and Caroline herself as a child. Caroline's strong emotions and opinions were a great reminder to me as a somewhat stressed mom. Balancing the raising of my kids with proper values with remembering that they are kids and human and will and can make mistakes is hard. Especially with my 5yo daughter, I have felt guilty at how I've handled situations with her. I forget sometimes that she is only 5. She is so mature and precocious in so many ways and is also messy, creative, inspired, and capricious. Reminds me of myself....😅
Fun fact: pumpkin carving is an irish colonizer hangover! They were originally turnips or big potatoes in Ireland, not pumpkins. Pumpkins are indigenous to turtle island so the holiday activity is def weird on the basis of its an irish tradition but is playing out in a colonial settler context here in north america. It would be less weird to appreciate the gourds from a more decolonial angle. One can also dig the OG irish cultural tradition (thinning of the veil; samhain, original witchier meaning, not the commodified version). In case that changes anything for you!
my best friend of 17 years ghosted me a few years ago. i can't imagine what i would do if she were to come back into my life. I would probably respond the same way
No tea no shade to your friends but you need better craft friends. The entire premise of a craft evening is to just exist in the same space while everyone goes non-verbal for 6 hours completely transfixed by their collage or chosen fiber art. Also like show off??? I think it's such a privilege to see a creative work of my friends in progress (especially when it's actually good lmao) I feel like a mom at a dance recital, like that's my baby!! *edited to add synonyms
100% agree. I also have 2 friends who we regularly get together and craft, doordash food and put a show on the tv as comfort background noise. We barely talk but I swear we bond so much. Also bragging is highly encouraged.
About the ghosting of friends: That’s happened to me too. Someone I hung out with regularly came to my wedding and the next day stopped speaking to me. It broke my heart and made me feel very unlovable. I just didn’t understand. Last week I got an email from her (it’s been 8 years) apologizing for her disappearance and how it could’ve affected me. I responded kindly and told her I appreciate her apology. Then I told her to take the very best care of herself. Forgiveness is easy for me but once I lose trust that our relationship is safe, I can’t always get past that enough to invite people back into my life.
A reflection on showing feelings in both genders (inspired by therapy and life and now your video, and I warn, I'll be generalising haha): In our society women are brought up to not feel allowed to be angry, and they are uncomfortable with other's anger, including men in their lives (I get it). On the other side, men are brought up to not feel allowed to have a lot of feelings, specially sad ones, so they're sometimes uncomfortable or uneasy or helpless with that in others, like the women in their lives, which also results in them channeling many other feelings into anger, the only "manly" emotion. I think we'd be better off thinking we both genders can feel all emotions. Women can be sad without being labeled as "too emotional", and men can be angry without being labeled as having a "bad or toxic personality", of course, there are levels and it's about how you show it, but if you feel an emotion, it's hard to not show it at all unless you censor yourself (even then). Anger is a healthy emotion, and Jess has said that in the past, but here she feels she has to give a disclaimer about Ryan never having showed anger before with her. I get what she meant, but ideally, he could be a bit angry or hurt and it'd be fine too, as long as he's still respectful in the way he shows it, that's why he went for a walk of course, we need to stop trying to control our partner's moods because we're uncomfortable with them feeling anything but good stuff, or it's contageous or we worry, and I know that takes some work, but we owe it to them to be part of a home where people are able to express their feelings, us and them too. Just a reflexion. I love your podcast, love from Spain! :)
My fiance and I had just moved into the house we renovated together and my aunt gifted us my great grandma's designer marble coffee table. It's exactly the perfect shape and size and my cousin drove it across the state for us. One night after some martinis, his foot got caught on the couch and he fell on top of the coffee table in the shape of Jesus on the cross. No lie. Snapped the marble in half and the base into 4 pieces. He felt so bad he put himself to bed on the couch. I made him come to bed and told him it's not even a big deal. No one deserves to feel like they have to sleep on the couch for breaking something completely by accident. And not in this house especially. We glued it all back together and now the gold line down the middle of the coffee table is a funny story to tell our friends 🖤 We love to have a home that is a safe space for mistakes.
when i grow up, I wanna have this for a present
lol well, joking aside but low key really mean it, I find this story amazing 😳👀
One time I accidently bumped the family car. It caused a small dent. I was really regretful and upset, and I will never forget what my dad said. "It was made to be used." I take this outlook to everything now! Car gets scratched? That's because it is being used! That is just the expectation. Couch gets ripped? That means we are using it well. No worries- these things are made to be used.
I forgot you guys are now only 5 hours behind Europe so I'm getting my podcast an hour early. Happy pumpkin time beautiful ladies
I really needed to hear that talk about breaking things. I don't handle things breaking well and get so sad. Thank you for reminding me what's really important.
Caroline, thank you for bringing up the grinding. I feel insecure about it in myself. I sometimes get complaints about it. I feel bad, but don’t know what to do. I feel helpless. Once I was seeing one guy. He said the worst sound that he can’t even stand is grinding, his ex used to have it. I ended with him realizing we are not compatible. My last ex of 4 months never complained about it. May be he is just a heavy sleeper.
I've listened to all the podcasts on Spotify, but being able to see both of you is so much better, so I'm re-watching on UA-cam. Love the podcast! Beautiful nails, Jess, and a beautiful top, Caroline!
@Jess I get your feelings about your neighbor hounding you, because you are not that person. But I also get her side, because first of all, she cant know how you are going to handle it and secondly a lot of people would handle this halfassed. I can speak of experience, where I not hound people and then I often get the short end of the stick because of it.
Also, pls dont feel guilty that Ryan had to deal with it while you were away, its his home as well 😊
I really enjoyed hearing you guys talk about crafts with Jess being curious how to pick crafts and Caroline explaining her own practice. I would love an episode about laisure/cozy activities you each enjoy if you are ever inspired to make one❤
It is hard for some of us to say hi...a lot of us mask a lot and get wiped out or it takes us a long time to get used to new people.
This was my favorite episode. Perfect balance of silly and serious. Jess, I have recently gone through a similar friend breakup with no happy ending, so it was incredibly cathartic to listen to your story. I’m so happy for you. (Gonna also add this comment on instagram since I know that’s where you look at comments lol)
I really don’t like pumpkin carving. I get really bad hives so I have to wear gloves. It’s a lot of work to! But I do it every year because my daughter loves it. We make it a movie night with snacks.
relationships are a two way street❤
Have only watched 45 minutes so far and this has been one of my favorite episodes.
Not so big on Halloween and pumpkins- a big relate. Especially as an expat where in the country I live, there is none of the wholesomeness of community and family fun with trick or treating or pumpkin carving- just the Walmart plastic version of Halloween and horror movie trailers and ads, which I hate for me and my kids getting exposed to it in ways I can't control.
Also big relate and agreed with all the commentary on airline boarding group nonsense. And Caroline's comments on status and lounges.
Also I appreciated Caroline's response about spills and breaking things. As a mom to a 7yo and 5yo, I can understand and relate to both Caroline's mom and Caroline herself as a child. Caroline's strong emotions and opinions were a great reminder to me as a somewhat stressed mom.
Balancing the raising of my kids with proper values with remembering that they are kids and human and will and can make mistakes is hard.
Especially with my 5yo daughter, I have felt guilty at how I've handled situations with her. I forget sometimes that she is only 5. She is so mature and precocious in so many ways and is also messy, creative, inspired, and capricious. Reminds me of myself....😅
Fun fact: pumpkin carving is an irish colonizer hangover! They were originally turnips or big potatoes in Ireland, not pumpkins. Pumpkins are indigenous to turtle island so the holiday activity is def weird on the basis of its an irish tradition but is playing out in a colonial settler context here in north america. It would be less weird to appreciate the gourds from a more decolonial angle. One can also dig the OG irish cultural tradition (thinning of the veil; samhain, original witchier meaning, not the commodified version). In case that changes anything for you!
Excited About Pumpkins is my new band name.
HAHAHA Caroline lying to Justin about the Amex lounge 😂😂
my best friend of 17 years ghosted me a few years ago. i can't imagine what i would do if she were to come back into my life. I would probably respond the same way
But Caroline, your Young Pope costume was honestly genius 😂
No tea no shade to your friends but you need better craft friends. The entire premise of a craft evening is to just exist in the same space while everyone goes non-verbal for 6 hours completely transfixed by their collage or chosen fiber art. Also like show off??? I think it's such a privilege to see a creative work of my friends in progress (especially when it's actually good lmao) I feel like a mom at a dance recital, like that's my baby!!
*edited to add synonyms
These craft evenings are so nice! I do reading nights with my friend. We read & are super cozy in our pajamas. We just read & lounge.
100% agree. I also have 2 friends who we regularly get together and craft, doordash food and put a show on the tv as comfort background noise. We barely talk but I swear we bond so much. Also bragging is highly encouraged.
This is so perfect.
About the ghosting of friends:
That’s happened to me too. Someone I hung out with regularly came to my wedding and the next day stopped speaking to me. It broke my heart and made me feel very unlovable. I just didn’t understand. Last week I got an email from her (it’s been 8 years) apologizing for her disappearance and how it could’ve affected me. I responded kindly and told her I appreciate her apology. Then I told her to take the very best care of herself. Forgiveness is easy for me but once I lose trust that our relationship is safe, I can’t always get past that enough to invite people back into my life.
A reflection on showing feelings in both genders (inspired by therapy and life and now your video, and I warn, I'll be generalising haha): In our society women are brought up to not feel allowed to be angry, and they are uncomfortable with other's anger, including men in their lives (I get it). On the other side, men are brought up to not feel allowed to have a lot of feelings, specially sad ones, so they're sometimes uncomfortable or uneasy or helpless with that in others, like the women in their lives, which also results in them channeling many other feelings into anger, the only "manly" emotion. I think we'd be better off thinking we both genders can feel all emotions. Women can be sad without being labeled as "too emotional", and men can be angry without being labeled as having a "bad or toxic personality", of course, there are levels and it's about how you show it, but if you feel an emotion, it's hard to not show it at all unless you censor yourself (even then). Anger is a healthy emotion, and Jess has said that in the past, but here she feels she has to give a disclaimer about Ryan never having showed anger before with her. I get what she meant, but ideally, he could be a bit angry or hurt and it'd be fine too, as long as he's still respectful in the way he shows it, that's why he went for a walk of course, we need to stop trying to control our partner's moods because we're uncomfortable with them feeling anything but good stuff, or it's contageous or we worry, and I know that takes some work, but we owe it to them to be part of a home where people are able to express their feelings, us and them too. Just a reflexion. I love your podcast, love from Spain! :)
Owen Benjamin called out Tim Ballard before his movie came out. He’s a sick bastard
❤ ❤ ❤