I got to give Deloney a lot of respect for saying he didn't handle the call well the first time. I stopped watching him on Dave Ramsey videos because I felt like he doesn't listen to the callers. That was really awesome of him to own up to that mistake with this caller. I'm impressed.
Ramsey never does or says anything unique, every video is the same message he gives - strive for no debt, live below your means, can't even think of a third thing. Delony has lots more to teach.
@@dbacks2023- well, when it comes to most problems, the solution is usually 3 or 4 things. 90% of problems can be solved by more money, more health (physical, mental or emotional) or more education (training, school, certifications, etc.)
I think he’s lying to himself that when he’s in a relationship he won’t do this. He will. As soon as things get hard or boring or rocky. He will go back to his habits and addictions. For sure.
It's a false reality though, even though it seems that way they really aren't getting it, causing them to become reliant on it, connection should not be followed by my guilt or regret.
Sexuality is powerful but neutral, a lot like money. It can be linked to violence and selfishness and dehumanization or it can be linked to connection, love and empathy.
The struggle is real and present with so many including myself. I'm about to hit 90 days of no PMO. As I hit that benchmark I can tell you, it is not easy. But as JD said, you'll quit the addiction, any addiction, when you get to the point when you absolutely hate yourself.
Huge props to you Dr. John for admitting the mistake in the beginning and going at it again. You are a great person and the best addition to the Ramsey team.
Dr. Delony is my absolute favorite addition to the Ramsey team. Much needed tackling of mental wellness. Look forward to seeing more of him and his improvement over time.
It is depriving you of connection with friends, family, and intimacy with 'real time' women and potential intimate partner. What is the fear! What is the shame? There is emptiness in you. Get refocused, volunteer, hobbies, and join a support group.
Actual women are living human beings with their own needs, desires and complications. That's why webcam girls are so appealing-they make it easy to not have to give anything in a relationship.
I really like how open and apologetic he is, this shows how honest and trust worthy he can be. Not only that, it also shows that he doesn’t only care about the caller but everyone who’s listening to his videos/podcast. This is something we should always be looking for in a leader.
It really is amazing to me just how powerful sexual imagery is. I believe it may just be the most powerful temptation and addiction. Let's all do whatever it takes to stay away from this evil poison. Do not allow iniquity to have dominion over your life!! God speed to everyone struggling with porn.
The following post is VERY difficult for me to write. I’ve been in recovery for 12 years, after being in this addiction for 27 years. As my therapist put it in the beginning, “You’re being asked to give up your best friend”. IMO sex and food are THE hardest addictions to break. The reason is that food and sex are necessary to living life. We have taken God’s gifts and perverted them and abused them. It is much easier to abstain from alcohol or drugs than to relearn how to use food and/or sex in the way that God intended. There is no better way to sobriety than a Christian men’s group, NOT affiliated with a church, in which the guys hold each other accountable. Church groups don’t allow the guys to be 100% honest b/c of the fear their story might get out. IMO SA is only good in the absence of a group that is allowed to crosstalk. Why? because we are some of the best liars in the world, and the first person we lie to is ourselves. The other guys in the group are able to see through the bullshit, and get to the truth. We are the most sensitive bullshit detectors in the world. Getting to the truth is the ONLY way to get better. Rock bottom is very hard to reach. Having reached several levels that I thought was bedrock only to find a lower level. After too many slips and falls, I decided that I had to be responsible for my recovery. Even Jesus couldn’t help me, because I didn’t really really....REALLY want to be helped. I didn’t have the gottawantas. I gottawanta remain sober more than I want to get the dopamine rush. I’m sure that Jesus can and does provide miraculous deliverance from sex/porn addiction. I just haven’t met anyone who was delivered like that. For me, I think it’s like patience. When you pray for patience, God doesn’t just give you patience, he puts you in situations and in front of people that help develop your patience. (I have learned NOT to pray for patience)😉 I liken my journey to the Prodigal son. The Father ran to the Son while the son was still a far way off. HOWEVER, the son had to realize what he had done, decide to turn away from the pig pen and decide to go back home. The Father didn’t run to the pig pen, pick up the son and carry him home. For too many years I counted on Jesus to pull me out of sty, when I was not really ready to come home. And then when I stumbled and fell, I could shift the blame. I didn’t take responsibility for my crap! I’m so grateful that Jesus is very patient. Because I sure have tested the limits of His Grace. I hope this comment helps someone.
I have been going through the same thing. It’s a very real addiction. It made me go bankrupt in a year. Made me loose my wife and little by little took over my entire life. I’m just getting better now but it’s a tough road.
@@blueseptember2174The dopamine hit with cornography is powerfully addicting and I understand the neuroscience behind your husband’s choices. However, that doesn’t mean you should stay with him. There are plenty of dopamine chasing choices you could have made that would be emotionally and financially devastating to your partner, but you didn’t. This is grown-up land. When we make choices, there are consequences. I would leave him. If you don’t, your body will be reminded of the pain he caused day after day, after day. Humans have a survival mechanism telling us to escape pain, and your body will be fighting that survival cue for the rest of your life. I’m sorry but it’s healthiest for you to leave him. You didn’t do this, he did.
Thank you John (from Seattle) for sharing, man. I struggle too, and you don’t know how much it means to hear someone else being open. It helps. I appreciate you.
Listening to this is making me more nervous, and shaky. I feel in my gut, my husband has been participating in THIS, and HAS been for years. And to hear this man talk about how these girls are just regular people that talk, it's just making me hurl thinking about it. I have seen the clues right under my nose for a long time, I've asked him several times, nearly pleading for some kind of truth, but nothing. I wish I could help my husband so desperately.
And why am I here watching this video? Cause this is one of those countless times i said “ive had enough, i got to heal from this”. Its hard. Recently started seeing a psychiatrist. He was the second person i talked to about this addiction. Hopefully i can heal and stay out of trouble.
Wow... first person to admit on the Ramsey solutions team that they aren't perfect and doesn't have a massive ego. Big kudos to you! And glad your general advice isn't over simplified garbage like deliver pizzas to pay off your student loan.
I agree with John when he said he didn’t think the caller really wanted to change. Saying he wants to stop in part because of the money wasn’t convincing.
This is a real problem and it’s huge. They are NOT just models, or “normal women looking for extra cash” there is a sinister undercurrent to this. There are “studios” and studio owners and they invite guys to visit foreign countries. Most regulars are in deep depression.
Agreed. I’m not a prude but I can’t watch porn because all I see is traumatized women who had to resort to doing what they’re doing and it’s just sad AF.
The women in these situations are usually living under horrific conditions. If the money he's spending is his only concern about his situation and he is clearly paying no mind to what these women are living under and how they end up speaking to sad, lonely men then he has more issues to deal with than the web cam addiction.
This is a much more difficult addiction than most people realize. I agree with Delony’s advice, John doesn’t sufficiently desire freedom from this yet. He’s sorry he got caught so to speak, not sorry he did it. He has to see this as morally wrong. My advice is to have a relationship with Jesus and make it your life’s goal to honor his sacrifice on the cross. He says he will change not only your actions but also your will. In other words as you fall in love with the Lord he changes the things you want to do. That’s what John needs, God will give him strength if John allows it.
Incredible advice!! We try to change the things within us, the sin we walk out....but only Jesus can change us, by our relationship with Him, from the inside out. I used to always try, try, try, TRY to stop and I just couldn't! I KEPT failing!!!! When I finally started leaning into the Lord, spend time with Him, reading His word every day, I can feel Him changing me (and see it) every single day and it's covered with such peace!
He should cut up his internet. Get a phone that's only to make calls. Go to an area without internet or even phone service for a week or two. See how you cope with the addiction in a place you can't satisfy it.
I agree. I'm noticing more subliminal messages everywhere. I had to cut back on internet use and unfollow some channels/social media pages. I've noticed that people are more tired, speeding everywhere and mentally drained.
I’ve been listening in on these videos for the openness of the callers, but John continuously gives me the not really listening vibe. Cuts off guests and is quick to answer without thinking. Let them talk and allow them to get their points across!
addictions can be one of the hardest things people have to go through, as someone who struggles with drog stuff, there are times when i feel like using... but then i wait it out and stomach the emotional pain of the need, and am happy i contained my demons... just have to live life a certain way to reduce it
I do not like how Delony is handling this call either. I know he is trying to understand. But he is not in line with the type of advice this guy needs. These webcam girls are not good. They are not an escape or a connection. Its all a false world of deception.
A “happy medium”? This guy will not stop - he tries to justify it, implying he’s somehow “helping” these “every day women.” Like it’s somehow charitable. He’s just pi$$$ed that he has to pay to be “charitable” to these women.
Addiction is addiction...Good call! Thankful for the callers humility. I pray he can get this habit out of his life. Even if he gets a partner it’ll come back if he doesn’t deal with it. Jesus is the chain breaker. I couldn’t break some addictions without Jesus’ deliverance.
I need deliverance from my addiction too. I had my painful days, one of the most painful, when my partner caught me cheating. And I don't want to hit a more deeper "rock bottom" before I fix myself up. I really want to get out of this cage. I'm tired. I knew I had it before but was in DENIAL. But now, I want to get over it, put an end to it. And I need prayer warriors now that I'm in the open. 🙏🙏🙏
Do you have godly men who can hold you accountable and help you in your journey to freedom and deliverance? Are you really ready to surrender it to God? How is your progress?
I don't think that it is an addiction. It is more like loneliness plus strange sort of egoism. You pay money and the girls do what you want. You don't have to adjust. compromise, listen, comfort. When you're bored you just turn the laptop off. It doesn't happen with real people. He is missing real connections but does not miss the work associated with it. It is more like child attitude cream de la cream for me, responsibilities and obligations for you. Until he meets someone who he is willing to sacrifice his comfort zone for he stays in his "addiction". The thing is he is helping the everyday ladies, he can consider it charity and having pleasure from it.
This is very well-put. I think you got to the root of this. It's mainly about fulfilling himself sexually, but he could just use videos for that. The camming gives him a sense of power and shallowly numbs the feelings of loneliness a bit because there is some fake version of human interaction. He doesn't want to change. He's lazy and selfish.
Aristaifly, it doesn’t have to be with overweight, it could be just confidence. But then the variety of choice available with webcam models isn’t possible in real life. There is also a huge fantasy element.
@@Dazak I cannot explain but he sounded like he has glasses, over weight and his second chin moves when he talks. despite being all human and unique there are categories of types that majority of people can be put in. This is how my subconscious pictured it.
Honestly Don’t think of others it’s not your parents not your family not your business Think of yourself webcam it’s not your future Just love yourself and focus in your future You’ll be ok
Instead of investing time and money into webcam girls he should invest that into figuring out how to have better success with women so that he doesn’t have to resort to webcam models
i wish my bf would admit he needs help this is the reason i am leaving him he wants to do whatever he wants regardless of how it hurts me he justifies everything. 19 months wasted. my first husband was like this too never wanted sex with me it was always porn porn porn
16:00 Great advice.....Honestly I think its low self esteem and not feeling good about themselves. But they feel great escaping. He is right....switch the habit. Good Luck...Life is a journey and I hope for your best self 🙏😁🇺🇸💜
"I'm addicted to watching extreme porn that displays women in harmful situations" I can't feel sympathy for these men. This is what I hear, I know what sort of videos trend on PornHub.
The oldest tricks in the book ….men enticed by porn industry and never realizing they can one day wake up and stop cold Turkey …..a man with a mind on porn would not go well with a real relationship …..
@z ziz first of all calling a prostitute a model is insulting to real models. Second if men are so easily willing to throw away the real thing for a cheap trash version then they don't deserve the real thing from a good woman
I’ve been dealing with this with my husband the whole time we’ve been together . Ironically I was a cam girl before him (no We never talked on there lol) it’s really sad though. I’ve turned my life around been the perfect angel in this relationship marriage. It’s disheartening in my marriage.. I’m an x ray tech but During Covid this allowed me to pay my mortgage(before my husband ) thankfully the girls he messages at son Twitter and they never message him back
I can't tell if I am messed up in this or REALLY messed up in this at this point. Maybe you have perspective? I have used cam sites off and on for a while, and I realize (recently) it is to avoid emotional intimacy with a person in real life. Am I addicted? I dunno, but my current situation feels . . . odd. I met a cam girl (let's call her Sally) about 6 weeks ago. Sally has turned out to be an awesome person that struggles with her own mental health problems (who isn't?). The first time I was in Sally's room, after about 30 minutes, she lowered her rate for me so I could basically hang out and talk to her longer. When we have the chance, we now talk for literally hours at what I think is the site minimum (it's ridiculously low) and we talk about literally anything from our traumatized pasts, books, shows, life stories, her cam girl stories, what we've been up to lately, etc. I like her, and we have talked about moving the conversation off that site, and we are very open with each other that there is no expectation of exclusivity or moving or even meeting IRL, I am not delusional in that aspect (as many guys apparently are that she has to cut off). So the question is, am I crazy, am I addicted, is this completely insane? I know I am messed up, I can thank my childhood for that, but I'm working on me. You just have a possibly unique perspective and I'd be interested in your response if you don't mind.
@@shaunstevens4292it's not a real connection. You gotta heal from this addiction to open up to a meaningful connection. Want to test it? Tell he you are changing and healing from cam and p*rn addiction and you don't desire that from her or anyone(and actually live this). Then tell her you will not be paying her anymore because of what you said but you feel a connection with her and give her some way of contacting you (a side email or social site). See if she contacts. If she doesn't then you got your answere. But you'll never get the real answer, paying her on cams.
I think it's funny how this guy acts like cam addiction is such a rare thing whenever statistically it's a full-blown epidemic in our country and the world just saying look it up
Just embrace it. It's a way of outsourcing our lonliness without such unrealistic expectations placed on us. It's legal, it's a legitimate job and it solves lonliness.
Delaney, your humility is inspiring, but friend- he needed more sympathy I think. Love how straight forward you are, but a dash of more sympathy couldn’t hurt.
I wish the caller would switch his thoughts of "I'm helping these women" to "I'm hurting these women". Yes, these women are choosing to do this of their own free will, but they are broken too...and John is helping perpetuate it, just as they are helping perpetuate John's addiction and brokenness. 😞
sad thing is in this fallen world broken people with no character and no grit make bank rather than women or men who work jobs that actually help people-ie CNAs, RNs, EMTs,etc they are paid poorly and not recognized in our world. everyone talks about addition etc, but what about the endless people who don't sell out to only fans, etc--they get no sympathy and continue being the faceless, broken working grunts who don't sell out and instead took their broken-ness to help others 😶🌫
not if you have a girlfriend. Many men have a mate and she is for real life appearances and the webcam girl yes girl is. Men never brag about or are proud of webcamming. It is cheating period. because you are not having sex with the human in your life after you have ejaculated. So you are denying your mate pleasure.
With this guy I either think the dr is right that he doesn't really want it yet, or he's trying to keep up an image like he doesn't need help, or he's tried so many times and thinks it's hopeless. I can't tell which one could be combination.
let him do webcams if he wants. If he stops and goes out 'hunting' sex with a real life woman, thinking this will be better, it will be 3-6 months before he's bored and doing the web cam again and she's miserable, pregnant and hounding him for commitment that will benefit no one.
Great, perfect book recommendation! 🥰Gabor Mate, he gets addictive behaviors. Can’t help but wonder… Do you ever do 6, 8, 12 month follow-up on your callers? I would love to listen to some of these folks and how their lives have changed 🤔… or if they’ve changed?
I’ve been addicted too porn addiction since my childhood trama and narcissist family and religious and emotional abuse and spiritual abuse and very dysfunctional family and controlling and judgmental and I deal with PTSD and my mom was divorced 2 times and both my dad and stepdad cheated on my mom then last year I lost my mom too stomach cancer and my own dysfunctional reject and shun me I was emotional abused by my own mom so in the end I’m alone I don’t really socialize or never even been with a woman before or in a relationship things are just hard for me and I’m still stuck and my family really are not there for me or support me
Hi Darren, I recommend getting into a free 12 step program like Porn Addicts Anonymous. They have meetings all around the world, and online if you need them. If you can afford it, I also recommend therapy. I pray you find love, peace, and health. Amen.
Most normal relationships woman won't just do whatever you want them to do sexually, if they do at some point they will stop. So for some guys it's just easier getting online with a beautiful young woman who will do anything you ask
Man that’s just pathetic. Why men stoop to the level of looking at porn or strippers and such is beyond me. Seriously using and abusing people by gratifying yourself with porn is quite literally the bottom of the barrel.
@@zziz6137 are you joking? Sex/human trafficking is one of the worst horrors ever committed against humanity and has been occurring all throughout history. Think for a moment about what is happening here. Young girls are abused and traumatized, trafficked, drug addicted, and then forced and/or manipulated into the sex trade/prostitution by men much older than them. That is the essence of all of the sex trade, old men using and abusing young women.
This is why in past generations they tried to associate masturbation with shame. They knew even back then that this kind of addiction could happen. Now we live in a depraved culture where masturbation is seen as good and normal.
well, I'll tell you what NOT to do......don't lie to your family about being a Twitch streamer and extort half a million dollars from them to give to a cam girl over several years, then end up unaliving your mom, dad, and brother when they find out the rehab they sent you to didn't take.
Things were ok I had three meals a day and everything was fine, suddenly all changed now I find myself looking in bins for any scrap of food or anything that looks like food. Funny that.
I got to give Deloney a lot of respect for saying he didn't handle the call well the first time. I stopped watching him on Dave Ramsey videos because I felt like he doesn't listen to the callers. That was really awesome of him to own up to that mistake with this caller. I'm impressed.
I really like what he brings to Dave Ramsey, hence why I’m here!!
He doesn’t have much time on Dave Ramsey show at times
Yeah I noticed that too, started yelling at him on the radio. I think he’s just getting old
Ramsey never does or says anything unique, every video is the same message he gives - strive for no debt, live below your means, can't even think of a third thing. Delony has lots more to teach.
@@dbacks2023- well, when it comes to most problems, the solution is usually 3 or 4 things.
90% of problems can be solved by more money, more health (physical, mental or emotional) or more education (training, school, certifications, etc.)
Wow. It takes a big man to admit a mistake even if no one would know. I’m very impressed
I think he’s lying to himself that when he’s in a relationship he won’t do this. He will. As soon as things get hard or boring or rocky. He will go back to his habits and addictions. For sure.
Wishing Ray Romano all the best in overcoming his addiction 🙏
Hahahahahah
The ease of men finding this “connection” online has utterly killed real life dating.
Finding a good women locally is tough. I did find my ex-wife online
It's a false reality though, even though it seems that way they really aren't getting it, causing them to become reliant on it, connection should not be followed by my guilt or regret.
Women going on "foodie" calls has ruined dating
read the book, men on strike by Dr Helen Smith
Social media and online data and hypergamy and a feminist movement to put down men has ruined dating
Addiction is not a disease, it's a obsessive compulsive disorder that started as a coping mechanism or out of curiosity.
Agree it is OCD
OCD is also a disease
I don't think it's OCD.
it's lust of the flesh and objectification of others for selfish needs, not caring about others, only selves
Is a disease.
Sexuality is powerful but neutral, a lot like money. It can be linked to violence and selfishness and dehumanization or it can be linked to connection, love and empathy.
Wow great analogy
That is so well worded/said
Amen!! I tried to quit my addiction but failed time and time again I came to Christ and he makes me strong.
YAYYYYYYY
Praise God!!
He's smiling down upon u with such love in His heart
Me too!! Praise God!!
I haven't tried because I'm not a quitter!
Christ is not god, but a prophet of god.
It’s easier to keep an addiction because it is predictable. Change is difficult.
The struggle is real and present with so many including myself. I'm about to hit 90 days of no PMO. As I hit that benchmark I can tell you, it is not easy. But as JD said, you'll quit the addiction, any addiction, when you get to the point when you absolutely hate yourself.
Best of luck!
Huge props to you Dr. John for admitting the mistake in the beginning and going at it again. You are a great person and the best addition to the Ramsey team.
Timestamp?
@@SP-qi8ur literally 15-20 second in
Dr. Delony is my absolute favorite addition to the Ramsey team. Much needed tackling of mental wellness. Look forward to seeing more of him and his improvement over time.
It is depriving you of connection with friends, family, and intimacy with 'real time' women and potential intimate partner. What is the fear! What is the shame? There is emptiness in you. Get refocused, volunteer, hobbies, and join a support group.
Women are size queens now a days.
Actual women are living human beings with their own needs, desires and complications. That's why webcam girls are so appealing-they make it easy to not have to give anything in a relationship.
You have no clue what it's like for most men. Fcking clueless
I really like how open and apologetic he is, this shows how honest and trust worthy he can be. Not only that, it also shows that he doesn’t only care about the caller but everyone who’s listening to his videos/podcast. This is something we should always be looking for in a leader.
It really is amazing to me just how powerful sexual imagery is. I believe it may just be the most powerful temptation and addiction. Let's all do whatever it takes to stay away from this evil poison. Do not allow iniquity to have dominion over your life!! God speed to everyone struggling with porn.
That's why The Bible says to Flee from sexual sin. I believe it's the only sin in the Bible that says to be fled from. God bless.
The following post is VERY difficult for me to write.
I’ve been in recovery for 12 years, after being in this addiction for 27 years. As my therapist put it in the beginning, “You’re being asked to give up your best friend”. IMO sex and food are THE hardest addictions to break. The reason is that food and sex are necessary to living life. We have taken God’s gifts and perverted them and abused them. It is much easier to abstain from alcohol or drugs than to relearn how to use food and/or sex in the way that God intended. There is no better way to sobriety than a Christian men’s group, NOT affiliated with a church, in which the guys hold each other accountable. Church groups don’t allow the guys to be 100% honest b/c of the fear their story might get out. IMO SA is only good in the absence of a group that is allowed to crosstalk. Why? because we are some of the best liars in the world, and the first person we lie to is ourselves. The other guys in the group are able to see through the bullshit, and get to the truth. We are the most sensitive bullshit detectors in the world. Getting to the truth is the ONLY way to get better.
Rock bottom is very hard to reach. Having reached several levels that I thought was bedrock only to find a lower level. After too many slips and falls, I decided that I had to be responsible for my recovery. Even Jesus couldn’t help me, because I didn’t really really....REALLY want to be helped. I didn’t have the gottawantas. I gottawanta remain sober more than I want to get the dopamine rush. I’m sure that Jesus can and does provide miraculous deliverance from sex/porn addiction. I just haven’t met anyone who was delivered like that. For me, I think it’s like patience. When you pray for patience, God doesn’t just give you patience, he puts you in situations and in front of people that help develop your patience. (I have learned NOT to pray for patience)😉
I liken my journey to the Prodigal son. The Father ran to the Son while the son was still a far way off. HOWEVER, the son had to realize what he had done, decide to turn away from the pig pen and decide to go back home. The Father didn’t run to the pig pen, pick up the son and carry him home.
For too many years I counted on Jesus to pull me out of sty, when I was not really ready to come home. And then when I stumbled and fell, I could shift the blame. I didn’t take responsibility for my crap!
I’m so grateful that Jesus is very patient. Because I sure have tested the limits of His Grace. I hope this comment helps someone.
Thanks for sharing. You speak the truth. May your testimony bless many others.
Amen 🙏🏿
Your testimony is beautiful. God bless you
Thank you for posting this!
Amen! God is good! Continue pushing on!
I have been going through the same thing. It’s a very real addiction. It made me go bankrupt in a year. Made me loose my wife and little by little took over my entire life. I’m just getting better now but it’s a tough road.
You chose web models over a wife and a house?
@@iStorm-my5fpMy husband did. It's crushing to me and the family. We will never feel right.
I'm so sorry that this messed up your life.
@@blueseptember2174The dopamine hit with cornography is powerfully addicting and I understand the neuroscience behind your husband’s choices. However, that doesn’t mean you should stay with him. There are plenty of dopamine chasing choices you could have made that would be emotionally and financially devastating to your partner, but you didn’t. This is grown-up land. When we make choices, there are consequences. I would leave him. If you don’t, your body will be reminded of the pain he caused day after day, after day. Humans have a survival mechanism telling us to escape pain, and your body will be fighting that survival cue for the rest of your life. I’m sorry but it’s healthiest for you to leave him. You didn’t do this, he did.
Thank you John (from Seattle) for sharing, man. I struggle too, and you don’t know how much it means to hear someone else being open. It helps. I appreciate you.
same here man, i relapsed yesterday :(
hey, how are you right now brother?
Me too and I am feeling so horrible
Listening to this is making me more nervous, and shaky. I feel in my gut, my husband has been participating in THIS, and HAS been for years. And to hear this man talk about how these girls are just regular people that talk, it's just making me hurl thinking about it. I have seen the clues right under my nose for a long time, I've asked him several times, nearly pleading for some kind of truth, but nothing. I wish I could help my husband so desperately.
Why don't you try helping yourself and not living life as a second choice pick?
And why am I here watching this video? Cause this is one of those countless times i said “ive had enough, i got to heal from this”. Its hard. Recently started seeing a psychiatrist. He was the second person i talked to about this addiction. Hopefully i can heal and stay out of trouble.
He's abusing you.
Leave that freak, he's cheating on you
You should have been looking at the bills.
Don't take abuse, be happy and leave.
Wow... first person to admit on the Ramsey solutions team that they aren't perfect and doesn't have a massive ego. Big kudos to you! And glad your general advice isn't over simplified garbage like deliver pizzas to pay off your student loan.
jks211 That simple process has got a lot of people out of debt. The long way is the short cut.
Can't help but wonder how many more lives porn has to ruin for people to stay away from it.
I agree with John when he said he didn’t think the caller really wanted to change. Saying he wants to stop in part because of the money wasn’t convincing.
Hopefully he's taking baby steps
This is a real problem and it’s huge. They are NOT just models, or “normal women looking for extra cash” there is a sinister undercurrent to this. There are “studios” and studio owners and they invite guys to visit foreign countries. Most regulars are in deep depression.
Agreed. I’m not a prude but I can’t watch porn because all I see is traumatized women who had to resort to doing what they’re doing and it’s just sad AF.
@@audreym3777Yeah those poor traumatized cam models making $20,000 a month off lonely idiotic men lol.
Are there articles about this? I want to learn more about this topic to understand it better. It’s horrible indeed
The women in these situations are usually living under horrific conditions. If the money he's spending is his only concern about his situation and he is clearly paying no mind to what these women are living under and how they end up speaking to sad, lonely men then he has more issues to deal with than the web cam addiction.
This is a much more difficult addiction than most people realize. I agree with Delony’s advice, John doesn’t sufficiently desire freedom from this yet. He’s sorry he got caught so to speak, not sorry he did it. He has to see this as morally wrong. My advice is to have a relationship with Jesus and make it your life’s goal to honor his sacrifice on the cross. He says he will change not only your actions but also your will. In other words as you fall in love with the Lord he changes the things you want to do. That’s what John needs, God will give him strength if John allows it.
Yeah, he sounds excited about it when describing it, not remorseful.
Incredible advice!! We try to change the things within us, the sin we walk out....but only Jesus can change us, by our relationship with Him, from the inside out. I used to always try, try, try, TRY to stop and I just couldn't! I KEPT failing!!!! When I finally started leaning into the Lord, spend time with Him, reading His word every day, I can feel Him changing me (and see it) every single day and it's covered with such peace!
He should cut up his internet. Get a phone that's only to make calls. Go to an area without internet or even phone service for a week or two. See how you cope with the addiction in a place you can't satisfy it.
I agree. I'm noticing more subliminal messages everywhere. I had to cut back on internet use and unfollow some channels/social media pages. I've noticed that people are more tired, speeding everywhere and mentally drained.
Dr. Delony, thank you for you humbleness. Thank you John (caller) for your transparency. I’m sure so many struggle with this.
I’ve been listening in on these videos for the openness of the callers, but John continuously gives me the not really listening vibe. Cuts off guests and is quick to answer without thinking. Let them talk and allow them to get their points across!
We are all turning to "something" to fill a Jesus size hole in our hearts
Inner emptiness is the source of all creation. From nothing comes everything.
You don't need jesus to fill your hole
@@RoZioNoiR Revelation 22:20
Just you, not we. A lot of us already have faith outside your religion.
@@khanhminhnguyen7274 and its wrong
It's great how your ableto admit your mistakes!! It takes a real professional to
admit that.
Proud of you John.. Celebrate Recovery is one that helps greatly...
I love CR!!
addictions can be one of the hardest things people have to go through, as someone who struggles with drog stuff, there are times when i feel like using... but then i wait it out and stomach the emotional pain of the need, and am happy i contained my demons... just have to live life a certain way to reduce it
I do not like how Delony is handling this call either. I know he is trying to understand. But he is not in line with the type of advice this guy needs. These webcam girls are not good. They are not an escape or a connection. Its all a false world of deception.
I agree completely!
They are like sirens from the stories that take the sailors to the bottom of the sea and drown them.
Love the advice. But you need a better light/display in the background. Grey is kinda depressing.
Those look like soundproofing panels maybe. But yeah I agree with you it looks so drab. I wonder how intentional that was
They are sound proofing panels, but you can keep them and put any fabric over them and they’ll still work.
If you want to see depressing go watch Joe Rogan’s podcast since Spotify, you may have a new appreciation for this.
He’s speaking from an office on Death Star
I agree, plus the graphic in foreground doesn't help. I love the show but it just needs a little color.
A “happy medium”? This guy will not stop - he tries to justify it, implying he’s somehow “helping” these “every day women.” Like it’s somehow charitable. He’s just pi$$$ed that he has to pay to be “charitable” to these women.
Yes exactly
The most important word is “yet”. You have not lost those things “yet”. With addiction it’s only time before all those things will happen.
Addiction is addiction...Good call! Thankful for the callers humility. I pray he can get this habit out of his life. Even if he gets a partner it’ll come back if he doesn’t deal with it.
Jesus is the chain breaker. I couldn’t break some addictions without Jesus’ deliverance.
Amen
Hoping you find peace John! I’m rooting for your healing era!
I wish I had an addiction to working out too much LOL
Yeah but even those are unhealthy.
@@candyluna2929, they are joking. Why do people post serious responses to jokes?
It’s not as great as it seems. I’ve actually dealt with this one. Overtraining is not fun
@@billmiller2308 Hope you are doing better
Because they don't get the joke.
16 hours a day. That's too much. You need a holiday to find yourself emotionally and spiritually I would say.
He should cut down to 12 hours!
I need deliverance from my addiction too. I had my painful days, one of the most painful, when my partner caught me cheating. And I don't want to hit a more deeper "rock bottom" before I fix myself up. I really want to get out of this cage. I'm tired. I knew I had it before but was in DENIAL. But now, I want to get over it, put an end to it. And I need prayer warriors now that I'm in the open. 🙏🙏🙏
Do you have godly men who can hold you accountable and help you in your journey to freedom and deliverance? Are you really ready to surrender it to God? How is your progress?
He’s not ready to quit. He’s still justifying.
I don't think that it is an addiction. It is more like loneliness plus strange sort of egoism. You pay money and the girls do what you want. You don't have to adjust. compromise, listen, comfort. When you're bored you just turn the laptop off. It doesn't happen with real people. He is missing real connections but does not miss the work associated with it. It is more like child attitude cream de la cream for me, responsibilities and obligations for you. Until he meets someone who he is willing to sacrifice his comfort zone for he stays in his "addiction". The thing is he is helping the everyday ladies, he can consider it charity and having pleasure from it.
This is very well-put. I think you got to the root of this. It's mainly about fulfilling himself sexually, but he could just use videos for that. The camming gives him a sense of power and shallowly numbs the feelings of loneliness a bit because there is some fake version of human interaction. He doesn't want to change. He's lazy and selfish.
@@sarahb8147 not sure about lazy and selfish but i pictured him being overwheight.
Aristaifly, it doesn’t have to be with overweight, it could be just confidence. But then the variety of choice available with webcam models isn’t possible in real life. There is also a huge fantasy element.
@@Dazak I cannot explain but he sounded like he has glasses, over weight and his second chin moves when he talks. despite being all human and unique there are categories of types that majority of people can be put in. This is how my subconscious pictured it.
Aristaifly, that is exactly why we need to move beyond our “recognized” prejudices.
“The Power of Habit” is a great book as well.
Thumbs up for the honesty here in that he messed up and wants to redo the call. Good job!
Honestly
Don’t think of others it’s not your parents not your family not your business
Think of yourself webcam it’s not your future
Just love yourself and focus in your future
You’ll be ok
Believe me they are only there to make as much money 💴 as possible
John, I'm praying for you ❤️ And John, kudos to you for admitting and sharing with us that your first response wasn't the best. That's respectful ✊🏻
Dr. John is showing everyone a fantastic lesson that no one is perfect! Even though Dr. John isn't perfect, he's a very good, all around guy!!!
Instead of investing time and money into webcam girls he should invest that into figuring out how to have better success with women so that he doesn’t have to resort to webcam models
I mean if he just puts that money into a house and living life he'll organically meet someone decent without even trying.
LOVE Gabor Mate. And his son Aaron is one of my favorite journalists
We all have our demons, put it on God and you’ll find a better place
This is excellent hard hitting advice by Delony
I love your set up! Thank you for your show!
i wish my bf would admit he needs help this is the reason i am leaving him he wants to do whatever he wants regardless of how it hurts me he justifies everything. 19 months wasted. my first husband was like this too never wanted sex with me it was always porn porn porn
Very sorry about this.
16:00 Great advice.....Honestly I think its low self esteem and not feeling good about themselves. But they feel great escaping. He is right....switch the habit. Good Luck...Life is a journey and I hope for your best self 🙏😁🇺🇸💜
Good taking accountability John. 👍👍
"I'm addicted to watching extreme porn that displays women in harmful situations"
I can't feel sympathy for these men. This is what I hear, I know what sort of videos trend on PornHub.
Do you feel no sympathy as well for the women who partake in such things?
@@nessparadis6948 I'm talking about men. Sure if women watched men being tortured I would have no respect for them either obviously
@@SQUELCH-zj7ilsexist pig
The oldest tricks in the book ….men enticed by porn industry and never realizing they can one day wake up and stop cold Turkey …..a man with a mind on porn would not go well with a real relationship …..
He keeps saying he “makes a good living” like that makes this behavior ok, that justifies it because he’s still got his head above water.
Porn is pure evil with no purpose but to deprive men in particular of real love and intimacy.
Which alot woman are not able to fulfill which makes men turn to porn and web cam models
@z ziz first of all calling a prostitute a model is insulting to real models. Second if men are so easily willing to throw away the real thing for a cheap trash version then they don't deserve the real thing from a good woman
@@katrinaisalwayscorrect they don't care
I’ve been dealing with this with my husband the whole time we’ve been together . Ironically I was a cam girl before him (no We never talked on there lol) it’s really sad though. I’ve turned my life around been the perfect angel in this relationship marriage. It’s disheartening in my marriage.. I’m an x ray tech but During Covid this allowed me to pay my mortgage(before my husband ) thankfully the girls he messages at son Twitter and they never message him back
I can't tell if I am messed up in this or REALLY messed up in this at this point. Maybe you have perspective? I have used cam sites off and on for a while, and I realize (recently) it is to avoid emotional intimacy with a person in real life. Am I addicted? I dunno, but my current situation feels . . . odd. I met a cam girl (let's call her Sally) about 6 weeks ago. Sally has turned out to be an awesome person that struggles with her own mental health problems (who isn't?). The first time I was in Sally's room, after about 30 minutes, she lowered her rate for me so I could basically hang out and talk to her longer. When we have the chance, we now talk for literally hours at what I think is the site minimum (it's ridiculously low) and we talk about literally anything from our traumatized pasts, books, shows, life stories, her cam girl stories, what we've been up to lately, etc.
I like her, and we have talked about moving the conversation off that site, and we are very open with each other that there is no expectation of exclusivity or moving or even meeting IRL, I am not delusional in that aspect (as many guys apparently are that she has to cut off).
So the question is, am I crazy, am I addicted, is this completely insane? I know I am messed up, I can thank my childhood for that, but I'm working on me.
You just have a possibly unique perspective and I'd be interested in your response if you don't mind.
@@shaunstevens4292it's not a real connection. You gotta heal from this addiction to open up to a meaningful connection. Want to test it? Tell he you are changing and healing from cam and p*rn addiction and you don't desire that from her or anyone(and actually live this). Then tell her you will not be paying her anymore because of what you said but you feel a connection with her and give her some way of contacting you (a side email or social site). See if she contacts. If she doesn't then you got your answere. But you'll never get the real answer, paying her on cams.
I think it's funny how this guy acts like cam addiction is such a rare thing whenever statistically it's a full-blown epidemic in our country and the world just saying look it up
man I really really needed to hear this, really.
Just enjoy while you can.
I felt so sad when he said he can't find love😢 I wish him the best
Just embrace it. It's a way of outsourcing our lonliness without such unrealistic expectations placed on us. It's legal, it's a legitimate job and it solves lonliness.
Had to subscribe - love ur transparency Dr. John. Binge watching ur videos n your doing an awesome job!!!
This man has no intention of quitting his addiction. Why did he bother calling in?
They like the idea of quitting
I wish I had $10,000 to blow. I would use it for traveling though...
I'd invest it
Delaney, your humility is inspiring, but friend- he needed more sympathy I think. Love how straight forward you are, but a dash of more sympathy couldn’t hurt.
I wish the caller would switch his thoughts of "I'm helping these women" to "I'm hurting these women". Yes, these women are choosing to do this of their own free will, but they are broken too...and John is helping perpetuate it, just as they are helping perpetuate John's addiction and brokenness. 😞
sad thing is in this fallen world broken people with no character and no grit make bank rather than women or men who work jobs that actually help people-ie CNAs, RNs, EMTs,etc they are paid poorly and not recognized in our world. everyone talks about addition etc, but what about the endless people who don't sell out to only fans, etc--they get no sympathy and continue being the faceless, broken working grunts who don't sell out and instead took their broken-ness to help others 😶🌫
Dr. Gabor Mate is incredible! He's got tons of free videos on UA-cam as well as his books. @15:34
It's called the girlfriend experience
not if you have a girlfriend. Many men have a mate and she is for real life appearances and the webcam girl yes girl is. Men never brag about or are proud of webcamming. It is cheating period. because you are not having sex with the human in your life after you have ejaculated. So you are denying your mate pleasure.
4:27 thank you for calling them REAL PEOPLE! That's 💯% true
Brave to talk about simping on the radio.
With this guy I either think the dr is right that he doesn't really want it yet, or he's trying to keep up an image like he doesn't need help, or he's tried so many times and thinks it's hopeless. I can't tell which one could be combination.
16 hour work days? He's also a workaholic
He need a serious relationship or marriage and children
Nah its not real they are only in it for your money
Here comes the self-righteous christians
let him do webcams if he wants. If he stops and goes out 'hunting' sex with a real life woman, thinking this will be better, it will be 3-6 months before he's bored and doing the web cam again and she's miserable, pregnant and hounding him for commitment that will benefit no one.
Great, perfect book recommendation!
🥰Gabor Mate, he gets addictive behaviors.
Can’t help but wonder…
Do you ever do 6, 8, 12 month follow-up on your callers?
I would love to listen to some of these folks and how their lives have changed 🤔… or if they’ve changed?
Love the advice. From denmark.
"If you are filled with emptiness, you are not empty."
There aint no good looking woman in real life that will give him the time of the day and so what is he supposed to do?
I’ve been addicted too porn addiction since my childhood trama and narcissist family and religious and emotional abuse and spiritual abuse and very dysfunctional family and controlling and judgmental and I deal with PTSD and my mom was divorced 2 times and both my dad and stepdad cheated on my mom then last year I lost my mom too stomach cancer and my own dysfunctional reject and shun me I was emotional abused by my own mom so in the end I’m alone I don’t really socialize or never even been with a woman before or in a relationship things are just hard for me and I’m still stuck and my family really are not there for me or support me
Hi Darren, I recommend getting into a free 12 step program like Porn Addicts Anonymous. They have meetings all around the world, and online if you need them. If you can afford it, I also recommend therapy. I pray you find love, peace, and health. Amen.
Why doesn’t he just get a girlfriend and have a normal, equal relationship?
this guy is in his 40s. you think he hasn't had a girlfriend before? his addiction is probably the reason he can't have a healthy relationship.
Or he doesn't know how to get a girlfriend? I'm like 35 and I have no idea how and where I can get friends and a girlfriend.
Most normal relationships woman won't just do whatever you want them to do sexually, if they do at some point they will stop. So for some guys it's just easier getting online with a beautiful young woman who will do anything you ask
Works 16 hours a day…has hours to watch webcams…I think people really overestimate how hard they actually work
Man that’s just pathetic. Why men stoop to the level of looking at porn or strippers and such is beyond me. Seriously using and abusing people by gratifying yourself with porn is quite literally the bottom of the barrel.
Same for the woman who are in this industry are to blame just as much, there getting paid thousands of dollars for doing these acts.
@@zziz6137 I don’t disagree for those who choose to do that. However most are forced.
@@sarahalderman3126 who are forcing them?
@@zziz6137 are you joking? Sex/human trafficking is one of the worst horrors ever committed against humanity and has been occurring all throughout history. Think for a moment about what is happening here. Young girls are abused and traumatized, trafficked, drug addicted, and then forced and/or manipulated into the sex trade/prostitution by men much older than them. That is the essence of all of the sex trade, old men using and abusing young women.
@@zziz6137 and young boys as well… those who abuse the young are evil.
Only one solution that's very effective: Magnify Jesus in your heart and mind.
Humility I love it
How does someone call into his show?
This is instant dopamine for him I get it
"I was wordy and verbose"
Still working on that one
lol, I thought the same thing!
Thank u so much
From a new subscriber
This is why in past generations they tried to associate masturbation with shame. They knew even back then that this kind of addiction could happen. Now we live in a depraved culture where masturbation is seen as good and normal.
There's nothing wrong with masturbation unless it gets in your way of living. Your body needs it sometimes.
well, I'll tell you what NOT to do......don't lie to your family about being a Twitch streamer and extort half a million dollars from them to give to a cam girl over several years, then end up unaliving your mom, dad, and brother when they find out the rehab they sent you to didn't take.
True crime is my addiction and know the case lol.
how many times did the caller say "y'know"?
Things were ok I had three meals a day and everything was fine, suddenly all changed now I find myself looking in bins for any scrap of food or anything that looks like food. Funny that.
He should buy silver instead. Or real estate.
The caller sounds like Ray Romano