My Porn Addiction Is Destroying My Life
Вставка
- Опубліковано 5 жов 2024
- My Porn Addiction Is Destroying My Life
Send John your questions. Leave a voicemail at 844-693-3291 or email www.johndelony.... We want to talk to YOU!
Learn how to change your thoughts, change your behaviors, and change your life. Subscribe to the Dr. John Delony’s show!
www.youtube.co...
As heard on this episode:
BetterHelp - bit.ly/3seoBCe
DreamCloud - dreamcloudslee...
Churchill Mortgage - www.churchillm...
Thorne (25%Off Orders) - www.thorne.com...
Get John’s new book, Own Your Past, Change Your Future here: bit.ly/3Lmf076
Want a plan for your money? Find out where to start: bit.ly/3cEP4n6
Get John’s Questions for Humans Conversation Cards:
bit.ly/3wkym67
Twitter (@johndelony)
Instagram (@johndelony)
Facebook ( JohnDelony/).
The Dr. John Delony Show is a caller-driven show that offers real people a chance to be heard as they struggle with relationship issues and mental health challenges. John will give you practical advice on how to connect with people, how to take the next right step when you feel paralyzed, and how to cut through the depression and anxiety that can feel so overwhelming. You are not alone in this battle. You are worth being well-and it starts by focusing on what you can control. Let us know what’s going on by leaving a voicemail at 844.693.3291 or visiting johndelony.com/show. We want to talk to YOU!
These platforms contain content, including information provided by guests, that is intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The content is not intended to replace or substitute for any professional medical, counseling, therapeutic, financial, legal, or other advice. The Lampo Group, LLC d/b/a Ramsey Solutions as well as its affiliates and subsidiaries (including their respective employees, agents and representatives) make no representations or warranties concerning the content and expressly disclaim any and all liability concerning the content including any treatment or action taken by any person following the information offered or provided within or through this show.
If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional advice, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified professional expert and specialist. If you are having a health or mental health emergency, please call 9-1-1 immediately.
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
99% of grown men and woman would never have this level of self awareness, honesty, and accountability as this 18 year old kid. Respect.
Women regardless of all ages never take accountability
speak for yourself
Self awareness is great but offers little value if you do not have solutions in place to your problem and the self discipline to consistently apply those solutions as seem in this example. It’s almost as if all the awareness in the world meant nothing since he still has not managed to overcome vs a guy who has little self awareness but has the self discipline and consistently applies it. The guy with self discipline but little self awareness is better off.
@@perry6712 you are speaking the truth.
@dbaisy6094 he is speaking with the truth. You are proving him right with your comments.
I feel like this is an addiction not talked about enough
Sex sells. Anyone who talks about it is called a "prude" so that's one thing 💀
You get called weird if you talk about it... and who are you really gonna tell this to. Not nobody you know.
yeah theres lots of reasons. it goes against the “sex positive” narrative, a lot of people dont believe it’s possible or think you’re a creep for experiencing it, it mostly affects men etc. the last one isn’t really true because it affects a lot of peoples relationships and there are women that are porn addicts ofc but men are the main consumers of porn. there definitely needs to be more awareness on porn addiction because its way too prevalent and too dangerous to not talk about.
Yeah man. I joined a support group and there’s literally waves and waves of guys coming in with a similar story of being hooked to porn. But no one really talks about it out in the world.
If it's talked about, it's in a miserably positive light
Loneliness fueled my porn usage. I finally stopped but my guard is up. Whoever says porn can be healthy is fooling themselves. It's never okay. Never.
My heart goes out to you. You are not alone
How did you solve your loneliness?
Truth. It's a sickness and harms our spirit. I still struggle sometimes but have mostly overcome the addiction. It helps so much to stay active, have healthy interactions, find things that really bring joy to your heart and you won't feel you want or need it anymore.
Anything is okay in moderation
@@perc3136 sorry but that statement is just wrong and you're in denial apparently. According to you smoking in moderation is ok when it's obviously not, even eating babies in moderation would be ok according to that statement lol. Por n changes the way people view each other and causes some sick fetishes. It's not ok idc what any one says. It's an epidemic and even children are being exposed to it. It shouldn't exist. You're honestly sick for thinking otherwise and not considering how other people are affected by actions.
As a young woman, pornography addiction is also among women. I’m overcoming my pornography addiction and I salute everyone else that’s overcoming their addiction!
Same. I’m proud of you!
I'm with you, sister!
@@turtels6764 We shall overcome!!
still dont get how pornography addiction works with women ... if you find a guy who can give you multiple orgasms and have sex with you 3 times per day or however long you want ... would you still watch porn ? cause so far I imagine only girls who for some reason don't want sex from guys/girls anymore become pornography "addicts" ... not the ones who have non stop sex and fullfil all their fantasies in real life
Yes I think right now, sadly, women are hardly mentioned in this addiction. Slowly though I think those who are recovering are understanding women are suffering from it too. I guess I understand why women are hardly focused on because the majority of porn addicts are men but still.
Anyway, God be with you and I hope you’ve made progress.
A lot of addicts are watching this video. My addiction started almost 13 years ago, when I was 11. I just hit my one year anniversary of being sober on February 6th, 2024. Here are several things that I had to learn in order to live healthier and begin true recovery from this addiction. Hopefully this helps somebody.
1) The opposite of addiction is true, human connection. In order to kick this, you can't do it alone. You need to open up to a few people you trust. Every time you struggle, you need to tell them about it, even if you've already relapsed. Learn to truly connect with them.
2) Bad habits thrive in the dark, but die in the light. Look at every aspect of your addiction. Write it all down. How are you relapsing? When? Where? How often? How much time and money have you spent on it? You need to then read what you have written down to one or more of those people you trust. You gotta kill all of the secrets. Addicts frequently do other dishonest things to support their addiction. You have to share anything else immoral you've done that relates to the addiction.
3) Every time you relapse, afterward you need to write down what happened. Write down what happened in the minutes, hours, or days before the relapse. You need to write down what you told yourself to justify the bad behavior. For me, I frequently told myself that I deserved to have a terrible life, so this relapse would only help my life be terrible. I told myself I deserved the pain and anguish. Look for patterns in your thought processes and relapses. Is there anything there that you can avoid or fix?
4) You're an addict. Frequently, addicts of pornography have other addictions, like to food, spending money, video games, online videos, etc. Do you? Start to avoid those. Misusing those things will only lead to relapses with pornography.
5) Instead of telling yourself, "I don't want to relapse," tell yourself "I want to be healthy." If you tell yourself "Don't relapse. Don't relapse. Don't relapse," over and over again, your mind will only hear, "Relapse. Relapse. Relapse." Instead of focusing mentally on what you don't want to do, focus on what you do want to do.
6) Find things about yourself that you are proud of. Make a written list of them. And this isn't pride in the Biblical sense. This is looking for the good that God has put in you. For example, some of the things that I first saw in myself were that I kept on striving for good, that I could make people laugh, and that God had blessed me with an interest and talent in poetry. You've repeated the things that you hate about yourself over and over. It is time to balance the scale with the good things about yourself.
7) Make it a goal to live healthy physically, emotionally, mentally, financially, spiritually, socially, and intellectually. Anything unhealthy about those aspects of your life? Strive to remove them from your life. Strive to live healthy. I'm still struggling with this one. I eat still impulsively eat like garbage sometimes. Just before writing this I ate some brownies with a couple scoops of ice cream, and I probably shouldn't have.
8) Don't white-knuckle it. If you're feeling vulnerable or triggered, reach out to your support team and then do something else, even if it's 2 am. I lost so many battles because I told myself if I would just lay in bed long enough I'd fall asleep and wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, but it's difficult to get your mind to shut up. Find a way to resolve the trigger in a healthy way.
9) Look at the next few days. Are there any situations coming up in which you might be more vulnerable, like under extra stress or being alone for long periods of time? Those are survival days. You have to make a plan that you can keep for that day (or days). What time will you wake up? What will you eat? What will you do? How often will you check-in with your support team about how you're doing? What unhealthy habits do you need to especially avoid? Then, share your plan in a written/typed out form with your support team so that you're accountable to them.
And this is only scratching the surface. But, just know that there is hope. You've got a lot of work to do. You're not broken. You're wounded, but you're still alive. Also, you're not alone. There are millions of us fighting alongside you, your brothers and sisters. I love you. You got this. God is with you.
So good! I’ve been sober from Alchohol for three years and I’ve white knuckled majority of my sobriety and it’s been so hard. Just recently I’ve started going to a support group and it’s changed my life! And once I switched my perspective to wanting to be healthy vs not relapsing it changed so much.
Great comment, thanks.
So much wisdom at only 24yo. Suffering can bring the best (or sometimes the worst) in people. And you sir have many insights that cloud be life changing for others.
Thank you for your comment. I can now see some Patterns in my day to day Life that leads me right back to porn. I can go two weeks without it and "out of knowhere" I ended up watching it for hours everyday again.
You're right, I've been using videogames, foods and videos for many hours and hours everyday as an escape. I thought they're separeted problems to porn, but they're not. It's can be a rabbit hole where one addiction leads you right back to the other.
I have to find fulfillment outside of that. I'm in a bad moment in Life where I'm Alone most of the time, everyday, and even going out for a walk feels hard. But I'm sure I will stand above my addictions soon. Thank you for your comment again, it gave me a lot to think.
@@wonderPonel hang in there brother you got this!
I’m 37. It took me years, a divorce and intense accountability and recovery groups to finally overcome my porn addiction. I’m now fully sober and leading other men out of their bondage.
I am the same age. I don't have a porn addiction, but got into it to much at various points. When we were younger porn wasn't accessible. Playboy magazine whatever. Not is it like a cup of coffeee it isn't hard to get at all. That is a big part of the reason.
she divorced u over porn? can u elaborate?
I’m struggling now at 31. I agree it was harder to get as a kid. But it’s insanely easy to see the most vile stuff now. I did calm down from my 20s . But it has ruined my sex life an even started to affect my wrist from all the years. It’s embarrassing an I try to cut it. Been telling myself this is the last weekend I watch it . For the last ten years I’ve been saying that. How’d you overcome it??
Did someone say... Bondage 😏
Art. Honest question. Because I have issues as well. I’m assuming that you still masturbate, just not with pornography? That’s always been my concern. I can’t imagine cutting off everything cold turkey.
His level of self-awareness and insight is beyond what some people ever get to in life. Way to go.
Agree. He did not sound like an 18 year old.
heck it took me 25 years! but i quit cold turkey 2yrs ago. he can do it; it takes discipline.
Yeah, literally. Impressive
Self awareness and insight is great but offer little value if you do not have solutions in place to your problem and the self discipline to consistently apply those solutions as see in this example. It’s almost as if all the awareness in the world mean nothing since he still has not managed to overcome vs a guy who has little self awareness but has the self discipline and consistently applies it.
*never
Quitting porn will change your life, there is ZERO doubt about that. My life drastically changed after quitting for good and I will never go back again. It will help reshape your view of women and yourself, increase your drive and determination, and bring you so much more satisfaction in life.
To the person being interviewed, you got this, bro. You’re so young, conquer it now and your life will be incredible.
Did it improve the quality of your relationships?
@@toma3447 100%, especially romantic relationships.
Shouldn't say this but after you said beat it now you should say no pun intended lol
@@perry6712 touché 😅
Pls help me
I was addicted, I quit cold turkey when I got with a real woman and couldn’t get it up. It took months to get to normal but now feel better than I ever have before. It suppresses your masculinity in so many ways. Never again!
How did you fix it if i may ask?
Nofap and no porn and over time it got better?
this is when most people realize it i think
@@Cymricus Yea this was me too. Beating it a few times a day is enough to completely destroy your sex drive
This happened w me and my ex. Currently working it out bc there’s a lot of love. But couldn’t get it up when it was our first time, embarrassing, we’ve had sex a few time but it keeps happening so I’m on my mission to stop masturbating
This is why I stopped porn too!
After going thru with 2 girls, and not being able to get it up for either of them. I knew the porn viewing had to stop!
This young man’s testimony shows how incredibly painful it is to be a young person in today’s world. Porn is all around us, it’s probably harder to avoid it than not.
Well that’s addiction. You don’t avoid it. It’s more easily accessible than ever before but it’s still a choice you’re making. It still takes the action of the individual so it’s not really that it’s hard to avoid, it’s just easy to find if you go looking.
@James-gp5cw Porn is way more powerful than your sermon. There is no way out anymore...you are all in for the long haul it seems. 😄😁😆😅🤣😂🥳🎉
@@jeremyvanb821so holier than though. What a strong powerful soul that we should all look up to. What a joke.
@@SOME808GUY-n3rI find it easy to avoid porn, I’m lucky it’s never really interested me and a bit like cocaine or other drugs I’ve known I needed to avoid it. However, I’m still an addict and whenever I hear someone judging, like the commenter above, I wonder what behaviours they are hiding from?
Love addiction, gambling, workaholism, co-dependency….
My addiction is what in Debtors Anonymous we call underearning and scarcity, and it is very complex and hard to crack. The advice John said to this guy rang true for me. The root is the same what’s different is how my addictive behaviour manifests.
Oh and the callers mom sounds like an addictive debtor and co-dependant. I’m not surprised the guy’s an addict. 😏
But i hope everyone will stand up and seek the help they need
Porn has absolutely destroyed my generation. It’s heartbreaking. It has destroyed real relationships, and any inclination for people to better themselves. It is truly vile and evil and I commend anyone that frees themselves from it, myself included.
a crime agaisnt humanity
🤣
@@SD-pi9co what’s so funny? If you’re laughing at this you’re probably someone who’s caught amongst porn addiction yourself and don’t even realise it. Or at least you’re too immature to realise the gravity that pornography has now on entire generations. Sad.
@@quasardude 🤣🤣🤣🤣Porn addiction 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Porn is the devil 😂 You're funny
Yikes! I hate to hear that.
I think porn is one of the most destructive and difficult addictions to overcome. This young man has a lot of personal insight and is well spoken for only being 18. He recognizes he has a problem, which is an important first step. I wish him the best.
Lol. Drug addiction is worst. No one is stealing money and property for porn
@@williamerazo3921 You have no idea
@@rickysantana5658 show me porn related crimes
@@rickysantana5658 Porn is free. If you're paying money for porn, you're a fool.
@@williamerazo3921 there’s been study’s that your brain reacts to porn the same way as drugs as it is just as destructive as drugs.
Much respect to this guy for being open and honest!
YES. To have the courage to talk to ANYONE about this at 18, and ask for help, is next level bravery right there.
FOR REAAAALZ, SHINE THE LIGHT ON THE DARKNESS
very much so, porn has wrecked my life esp since i got the internet ruined two relatiosnhips ........ poor lad 30 times a day he must be knackered and sore.
It’s what it takes to help start to get better. Being open is the start of the path of the beginning of healing
Hey everyone!! I just wanted to share some good news with you all. Let's just put it this way, the Ten Commandments are called the Moral Law. Ask yourself this. How many lies have you told? Have you ever stolen anything? Have you ever used God's name in vein? Have you ever hated someone or ever looked with lust? This is for you to judge yourself, but chances are that you are a lying, thieving, blasphemous, fornicating, adulterer at heart and you HAVE to face God on judgement day. Now ask yourself this. If God judges you on judgement day by these Commandments, will you be innocent or guilty? Of course you'll be guilty because we've all done these things. The truth is that none of us are good people and we NESD God's grace to make it to heaven. We judt simply cannot do it on our own. These Commandments arecalled the Moral Law. You and I broke the law, Jesus payed the fine. So now what we must do to be saved is to repent of our sins and trust alone in Jesus Christ! To repent doesn't mean to just say I'm sorry, but to turn from our sins and let Him truly be our Lord continually. He said that many will say to Him, Lord, Lord I have done all of these things for you. And He will say I never knew you. Depart from Me, ye who work iniquity! And those will be cast into outer darkness and raging hellfire and loneliness for all of eternity!!! Because we broke His law, He is very, very just to send us to hell. If someone had murdered 4 people and said to the judge, I've done nice things too and have tried to treat people nice but it was just one time, the judge would then say, okay but you're going to jail. And the judge is very just to do that. One last thing, if you were 10,000 feet in the air and you had to jump, you wouldn't jump out and flap your arms and try to save yourself. That's ridiculous! You would put on the parachute. It is the same with Jesus. You must trust Him as you trust the parachute. We are not good and we cannot save ourselves with our own goodness. We must trust alone in Him to save us. In just a moment of time you can pass from death to life. Jesus said, "Verily, verily I say unto you, you must be born again." That is how we enter heaven. Through the blood and grace of Jesus Christ!!!!✝️If you ask someone how to enter Heaven, they will most likely say, "Be a good person." Well the Bible says that none is good, no not one. We like to compare ourselves to guys like Hitler and say, "Hey, I'm a pretty good guy compared to him." But when we compare ourselves to God's standard, we realize that the Bible speaks truth when it says that we all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God!!! When we see this ( our sin in its TRUE light), we see how much trouble we are in and we say, "Well then there's nothing I can do. I'm going to hell for sure then." It's true that there is nothing that WE can do, but there is something that has already been done for you! God sent His One and Only Son to die on a cross as a sacrifice for our sins! So to recieve that eternal sweet sweet forgiveness, all we must do is repent of our sins (meaning to continually turn from them and confess them) and trust alone in Christ as you trust a parachute. If I was to push you out of an airplane, you'd want the parachute for sure! Don't try to flap your arms and save yourself, trust in the parachute! His finished work on the Cross IS ENOUGH!! He is the only way to Heaven, He said it Himself!! These other religions teach that we must he good and do good things and then maybe if we've been good enough, we will enter Heaven. But if that is true then we are all doomed to eternal hell because none of us are good. That's why this makes sense. Look at the Ten Commandments, they are written on your heart right now!! I promise that you have violated them. And you might still be doing that today. Therefore God is just to poor out His wrath on us because we deserve it!! But Christ died for us so that we can spend eternity in Heaven with Him! Turn to Him today, and He and only He will save your soul "Verily, verily I say unto you, you must be born again ( to go to Heaven)."✝️The true joy of Christ dwells in me!!! Does it in you? I know where I'm going when I die! Do you? I have an ETERNAL victory! Do you? I have more joy than ever because of what Christ has done. I have been down both roads. The road of the wicked and the road of Christ. Christ is way better and my cup runneth over with true joy and salvation. If you do not know the One true God and are not sure of your salvation, I promise He will never fail you. Turn to Him in repentance and faith. Repent means to confess and forsake your sins, never turning back to them. I tried changing on my own but I couldn't. It took the power of Christ on the inside of me to do it for me. He will give you a new and clean heart with new and clean desires and you shall be born again. A new creation in Christ Jesus! Hallelujah! Jesus said in order to enter the Kingdom of God, you must be born again! Thank you Lord Jesus!!✝️
This poor kid also sounds like he's been poisoned by the incel/pick up artistry rabbit hole. He's only 18 and he's already so worried about not having a car & a job, and not being able to talk to women. It's pushing him further into his addiction.
My Dad is an incel
car job and a girlfriend have always been basic goals in the lives of young men, nothing incel about it.
This young man is the most self aware 18 year old. He will be okay. He doesn’t realize how well he’s doing. His parents should be very proud.
Proud he is beating his meat with other men watching him.
I think it is a hoax call. He tells a few lies like saying he is 17, yet Mom didn't let him get his DL until he was 18...then he says that was last year. He's a fraud.
I came forward with my dad 19 days ago and broke down and told him the real reason behind my mental breakdowns and depression. I told him about my porn addiction. He used to be a youth pastor and proceeded to tell me he has helped hundreds of guys since the early 90s with this addiction and he told me that he’s going to help me. I’m on day 19, li fest streak i’ve had since the summer. He has come into my room every night and prayed with me and asked me how i’m doing multiple times throughout the day. I’m going to beat this! Porn has ruined our society, never forgive them for what they’ve done, destroy everyone who is feeding this poison into our society and help rebuild all the people who seek help. We will overcome this!
Ur lucky to have a father like that 🙏🏾
Why do you like porn so much ? I like looking at sexy women to but it’s not real it’s fake : why don’t you go to a rub and tug or get a hooker . Or even go find ugly
Chicks and hang out with them .
I agree porn has absolutely destroyed an entire generation. Instead of wanting actual relationships with real people they’d rather just sit at home and watch porn. It is terribly sad.
Fill yourself with God's Word and listen to lots of worship music. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. Galatians 6:8
Man powerful stuff right here. My people aren’t that supportive I wish they were though
I wish this young man all the best and that he makes it to the other side of his addiction.
me too........ its so hard for younger people (im 57 so an old fart) the issue for me is the extreme porn they see at such a young age.......... there is no progression its str8 to hardcore stuff at a stupid young age..... he has a long road ahead of him, I have been there and its ruined my life, my issues not his!
By making it to the other side, you mean he should use the other arm as well?😂😂😂
@@juniorgod321 Oh....You're funny, you're clever.....not.
@juniorgod321 i want to be very clear....
you're not good at telling jokes. Your jokes aren't funny. You shouldn't tell jokes anymore!
30 times a day?? I'm 26 and once a week feels like too much to me. Not shaming at all, this young man is intelligent and sounds like a good honest guy. Power to you buddy. All men should stop watching porn, there's 0 benefit.
He's definitely over exaggerating
He has to be. Doing it more than once a day is exhausting in itself. Couldn’t imagine 30 not judging
Yeah, there was a brief period that I was doing it 2x a day and that wore me out. I had to quit for a while and felt much better.
I don't think that's even possible without doing damage
Maybe he said 13
Worst part is it’s everywhere, you literally can’t go on insta/tiktok without seeing something related, you can stop for a day but it’s like your phone knows you’ve stopped and just shoves it in your face
yea it sucks
Gotta be strong
The problem with a severe porn addiction is that it destroys your motivation to do pretty much anything besides partake in those pornographic activities. It's all about dopamine, the brains reward chemistry.
Can it destroy the motivation to go towards women ? Especially women you like ?
Can it prevent you from liking women ? Like having no interest in real women around you ?
@@evat2945 -- yes! Porn addiction makes a lot of men way less motivated to meet real women in real life. Even having real sex isn't interesting anymore because it won't be as stimulating as the stuff they watch in porn. It's a real neurological issue where, after a while, a lot of porn addicts can't even get it up anymore with a real woman and/or can't cum without watching porn. If that sounds familiar to you, I would say talk to a doctor and/or therapist. For real.
@@evat2945 That's the worst part. It makes real people and real sex feel like second best, like a let down. And once those images are in your brain, it's almost impossible to get rid of them.
@evat2945 as someone on the receiving end of this.... I can tell you from my experience - for 2 of my exes.... they are still into women, still approached women, still wanting to be in relationships, wanted to try to have intercourse, but couldn't perform... and thus, there was no sexual desire. Any approach of intercourse would be met with indifference and no desire... it ruins the self esteem on the receiving end because you feel like there's something wrong with you...
28 virgin ,broke and living at my moms house .... trauma n bullying led me to porn addiction .... but i came out of it and in less than a year i ll start an awesome life !!!!
I’m in the same boat brother 😢
Keep fighting it's worth it.
I started at age 33 my recovery and trust me , it will change your life for the better
You are gonna wait a year to start an awesome life? Start now and you will get far in a month and become unrecognizable in a year step it up
30 now, kicked it at 28, thanks to God/Jesus for me. Changed my life on a whole. You'll be amazed on how your life changes.
What did you do?!
I’m so proud of this young man. I have high hopes for him. He’s very insightful and self aware.
Indeed! Very mature and perceptive. Good young man right there!
It’s extremely hard to escape pornography addiction. It literally becomes part of your identity and it’s so easy to get triggered because there’s other addicts online that enable this behavior and make you relapse and also so much is being sexualized now a days and it’s every where, it’s on Facebook , Instagram , Reddit , and Twitter especially. Porn is too easy to find and too accessible.
Agreed. I feel for men and women struggling with this. You all are vulnerable. This stucky is everywhere in today's world, you must feel like you can't escape. Understandable. I've seen porn and sex trafficking ada in Facebook stories and UA-cam shorts. It's crazy nuts.
Whenever you see a trigger online, let it trigger this thought, "Someone is trying to get something from me with this lift that I wouldn't normally give. That's why they call it a trick. There could be more to it. Do I really want to be the type of person who participates in this? What could this cost me now? Down the line?"
Money, self respect, STD spread, arrest, jail time...?
When I think about the fun of something unhealthy it seems like a great idea in the moment, a good way to let out steam or break from tension... But if I can remember the trouble it'likely to at least later get me in, then that helps lower the volume on it's call to me. And it becomes easier to refrain from. The quicker you train yourself to move on past temptation, the easier it will be.
And there is implicit forms of it which makes it worse.
Start with deleting all social media like Facebook, Instagram, Twitter etc. That helped a lot in the beginning of my journey to stop watching porn. I did something drastic though to stop. I made a deal with God almighty through prayer and said God I won't watch porn or masturbate for a whole month. Then he would give me my blessing. Be very careful if you do it this way though. You must keep any promise that you make with God. Do not slip or your blessings will be pulled from you. It's hard the first 2 weeks but it gets easier. Especially when your mind resets and your brain literally doesn't crave porn anymore. And to Men Especially when you do not masturbate and "lose your semen" women are drawn to you. Like they stare at you. You have the confidence to finally look at those women in the eyes. Keep your semen, keep your power. I'll pray for you. God loves you, God bless
Who else took that deep breath and held it for 5 seconds?
Huge shoutout to this dude. This kind of vulnerability and self-awareness is incredible, especially at the age of 18.
I really respect this caller’s willingness to discuss his addiction on a live radio show. Also to acknowledge this addiction at 18 years old! As someone who has also struggled with PA for over 25 years, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Surround yourself with the right people, and ask the Lord for help.
Ask a dude you has never met before for help now does that make any sense whatsoever?
He's very mature! He's more self aware than most adults.
Has it modified your view of women ? If yes, how ?
You're the man Joseph. There are too many men struggling with these demons.
Never thought I’d say this but Jesus freed me from porn and alcohol addiction. It feels amazing to no longer be a slave to all that darkness.
Christian to Christian, here. I’m 37 and decided to finally quit porn cold turkey about a month ago. Currently going through a bit of depression because of the sudden cut-off. Did you experience the same?
@@michael9659 can’t say that I did, but I already had depression so it’s hard to say. It’s extremely difficult to quit addictions long term I suggest replacing porn with a “healthy addiction” to replace that dopamine hit your brain is likely having withdrawals from. INTENSE exercise is a good one or healthy hobbies like mountain biking, hiking, ultimate frisbee etc. Dive into the Bible and prayer too. God bless you!
@@jonnyw82 I’ve been praying more than I ever have been before. I feel like this is a trial that I need to go through to humble myself and get back on track with the Lord.
@@michael9659 That’s good brother, Jesus loves the repentant sinner. What specifically can I pray about for you?
@@jonnyw82 Thank you so much, Jonathan. Just for my depression to eventually subside and go away while I allow for my brain to rewire back to normal. 🙏🏻
My heart just breaks for this young man. What courage! What self-awareness! I really really hope this kid keeps fighting for himself. GREAT CALL!
Wow 30 times a day is wild!! I thought twice a day was insane!! Wow I’d love to get an update with this young man.
Porn is the greatest evil in this world right now.
No it’s not everything in life needs balance
@@JC-gi6jf are you an addict? Lot's of men are right now, unfortunately.
It's one of them!
@@JC-gi6jf 😂
@@Feliciations so are many women
This generation has such a burden being exposed to so much internet so young. I didn’t have a computer until I was 15 and that still led to the addition I couldn’t imagine not knowing a life without constant internet in my face.
I just been trying to get clean, honestly I’ve been battling mine since 8th grade. It’s been my first month clean because of my ex girlfriend. Hopefully when I’m better I could be in a relationship with her again. The access in today’s world is a reason I’m now advocating for the ban of this because it does destroy more than what we can’t imagine. Honestly, I’m ashamed of mine addiction, I’ve started to workout again when I have an urge.
I got addicted at 11 years old, I tried many times over the years to quit, and i turned 18 a couple of months ago and still watch daily 😭
My own dad put xhamster as a favorite on my Nintendo dsi when I was about 7 or 8 years old when I asked him to help me connect it to wifi I didn't know what it was and had a bad feeling about it I ended up clicking on it and boom you couldn't even watch it on there it just showed the thumb nails but that was all I needed to see to mess me up by 6th grade I was watching porn everyday after school on my iPod touch on Instagram cause back then Instagram had real porn on it then I got on porn hub and that's when it all spiralled
I struggle with this everyday and I’m 27 now. Well here is to another day 1 of being “sober”. I pray you have better luck with this than I do brother !
Switch to the flip phone
I'm sorry this is your life.. This is my life as well but I'm on the other side. The wife, the love of his life that he can't stop hurting. It's been 30 years since our first kiss and 20 that we've been married with this addiction between us. You are still young with your whole life ahead of you. Now is the time to quit because every single day you wait it gets more difficult. Please think about your future and those who will be in it. You will not want to but you will eventually treat them the way you get off now. Good luck to you and GBY ❤️
You are not alone, my friend. Get up every time you fall. Eventually you'll stop falling.
as with every addiction the Temptation will never go away it comes down to being able to control the addiction
Never give up man you got this!
as an addict i can fully relate myself to that guy his every single word is true
This level of self-awareness can make you lonely simply because most people can't understand it.
Yea and it’s hard because you’d want to meet others and let them know stuff but the sad reality of society is, most people aren’t gonna respond well to personal issues like these, not everyone can look at someone in a vulnerable state and NOT judge them. That’s probably why most people just suffer in silence. You’d have a better chance opening up about this stuff to strangers than to those close to you.
Not saying you shouldn’t, you should definitely try to explain your troubles and such with family and such. But keep in mind that no matter what happens and who leaves you on your journey. You will commit and change yourself once and for all. That’s all that matters.
So much respect for this guy calling in and talking about such a sensitive topic! I don't know you, sir, but my husband and I are praying for you. Just to give you some encouragement; my husband had an addiction problem with porn when he was younger and God completely freed him from it! God restored all his natural affections and we have a wonderful marriage that includes the most wonderful and beautiful intimacy. Thank you for calling in to Dr. John! Much love and big hugs since your way.
Wow that's amazing to hear. My husband's let it rule his life and caused the end of our marriage(he even admits it led to cheating). So I always happy to hear the opposite. It's an evil insidious thing that will lead you where you don't want to go if you don't get a hold of it.
That's awesome to hear, your husband freed from it, I hope for the caller it's the same result.
This is one of the best calls I have seen John take, because this guy has a high level of insight and that is rare.
I agree, but Dr. John shines in crises. True crises. This is a crisis of sorts, but I heard grown men cry on there who lost their child. Dr. John is a crisis expert.
I’m in awe of how mature the caller was in spite of his age. I have no doubt in my mind he’ll make it out. I’ve made it out myself, and I can recognize the ingredients in someone who’s ready to put this addiction behind. His life will be a powerful testimony. We’re all rooting for you my friend 💯🙏🏾❤️
The courage it took for this man, I can feel it in his words as he speaks! Much love buddy!
Brother your the most masculine man there is. Your 18 and you just poured your heart out and completely opened up to every problem and you were completely honest even though it’s against your values . So much bravery brother fr I’m 25 and not sure I am that emotionally strong and I’m a father . Respect bro
Prayers to this young man. May God bless him and guide him through this difficult journey.
Props to this guy! Hope he stops putting women on a pedestal. Women want to be treated like a person first and foremost. Talk to a woman like you would to any human being. With respect and dignity.
Well, the problem is beyond that… he’s masturbating with other guys online. This is a sin problem. He’s in the snares of the devil, and needs the power of Jesus to realize it and break free! Hopefully this call is step one, bringing it to the light!
@@subjecttochrist no offense but not everyone believes that, yet it’s still an issue.
@@johnmoore1495 you can disbelieve in gravity, but it ain’t going to stop you from smashing into the ground when jumping off a building.
@@subjecttochrist gravity is provable, religion is not.
@@johnmoore1495 sure God is provable. Take a look outside. The order of creation: look in the mirror: your very existence. There is a creation, therefore there is a creator. You don’t really believe in the scientific impossibility that “nothing” created “everything,” do you?
This is a grown conscious man and I am SOOOOO proud on him. ❤
Praying for your recovery. You got this!!!!
This young man is so articulate and aware of himself and his feelings. I wish him nothing but the best in his life.
Damn the question about child pornagraphy almost made my heart drop...😢best of luck to this guy
Fr I was honestly relieved when he said it was just very hardcore but consensual videos, instead of with children. He can be fixed for sure
Yes, it's hard journey. If you don't guard yourself, you keep falling harder.
He hesitated. I think he's into kiddy porn
I've been a corn addict for 15 years and never did it cross my mind to seek child 🌽. @@ShiestyApe
@@doedoewski1939 Well thanks for telling me that
You’re YEARS ahead of me, kid. Good on you and more power!
Kudos to him for calling Dr. John! That's a huge first step!
I struggled with this too. I know a lot of women do. Look up a 12-Step program on this if you're struggling. I have and it's saved my life. The disease of porn addiction is really progressive and will lead to a super dark path and you can find grace from this, but white-knuckling or even sometimes therapy doesn't work for everyone. I'm now 3 years "sober" from this destructive lifestyle.
Congratulations
Exactly same for me. Couldn’t do it alone. Almost 2 years now
@@C63Bez great job!
@@perry6712 thank you!
Well done 🙌
I finally realized that I have an addiction to pornography, it has taken me over 20 years, my friends it’s a serious addiction and it can ruin life’s and relationships, im on one week and 2 days without watching porn, and it’s been tough to overcome it, im 32 years old never had a girlfriend, never been in a steady relationship, always been afraid to talk to women, but today my friends
My Journey has started, my recovery, my new life. It’s been a week since I stopped watching pornography, let’s keep it going, your stronger than you think . My name is Angel Gonzalez, stay strong my friends 💪❤️
Your honesty is refreshing
You can do it! I was similar to you and watched porn throughout my teens and early twenties it ruined my ability to communicate and have relationships with women. I overcame it and had my first girlfriend/relationship when i was 28
What do you think the reasons are for not being in a relationship for you?
Angel--Thank you. I broke down crying when I read your post. You give me hope. I've been sober for 3 days, which sounds pitiful, but I haven't been able to get this far in decades. I'm going to a 12 step meeting on Saturday. It's time to slay the dragon. Thank you.
Any updates, angel?😊
This addiction is terrible. I started watching it at 15. Fast forward to today, I'm 32, married and still doing it but about 95% less. I'm thankful for never spending a dime on porn but the addiction is terrible!!!
Bro the fact that you're questioning it early is a good start. Porn ruin lives.
I remember 1 year ago i decided to try and end my addiction, best thing i ever did, still struggle a bit but now 19 and feeling better than before
I hope this guy calls the show back in 6 mos/ 9 mos to give us an update on his porn addiction.
Dr. D did a great job on this call. I give him props.
From 30 times a day to only 5 times a day would that be ok for awhile?
@@Bmw-Hk Progress is progress. Sure, the goal is to stop and not watch porn at all, but Rome was not built in a day.
imagine he calls back and says he's going at it nothing changed lmao
@@skyscout3with how addicted this guy is I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s like this to this day
As a sex addict in recovery myself, I can tell you that John's advice was excellent. Get into 12 groups (SA, SAA, SLAA). And go see a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) specifically. You cannot do this alone, but you can absolutely recover.
Wow, a brave call to make. I hope this young man is able to get the help he needs. I know he felt shame talking about it, but I'm glad he was able to talk to an understanding and compassionate man who showed no judgment to him.
This was my first time seeing this channel but I got a lot of respect for this guy trying to help someone he doesn’t even know.We need more men like this in the world willing to try and help this younger generation
I was right there myself. I really resonate with this young man. I fought for 8 years to free myself from the curse of porn addiction. It took me 8 years to realize that I don't have the strength to overcome on my own. However, the Lord Jesus showed me mercy and manifested himself to me. I was baptized in his holy name, my sins of fornication and adultery were forgiven and I received the gift of the Holy Ghost. I won't lie and say I don't get tempted from time to time, but I am without a doubt free in Jesus name. Give your life to Jesus anyone who is struggling with this filthy habit. The Lord is freeing people from the bondage of sin every day and there's no reason why you can't be freed too. Amen. Praise King Jesus!!!
There's absolutely no way he can beat sins power without Jesus involved..
@@LukeJ2023 Amen! Yes! Praise the Lord Jesus!!!!
@@LukeJ2023 I know I couldn't do it alone. Jesus is the only way!!!
Thank you for your testimony! Jesus is able to deliver! Only by his power and grace can we be made whole! We still have free will and the enemy is busy but stay fasted and prayed up and you will be able to resist the wiles of the devil! Praise the Lord from a fellow sister baptized in Jesus name and filled with His Holy Ghost!!🙏🏽
Can you please pray for me brother. I was baptized in Jesus' name for the remission of my sins (Acts 2:38) in 2018 and recieved the gift of the Holy Ghost in February 2020.
However, I have really been struggling with my flesh my entire walk and this last year I've really fallen off. Please pray for me.
Been watching porn again, even drinking, smoking cannabis, vaping, and occasional cocaine use.
I'm terrified of hellfire. I feel trapped and like I have no control any more. I keep trying to repent and I might do well for a while and then I fail again. The bondage is so strong.
Please pray for me I am suffering.
I know an 18 year old man who struggles too. He said he does not do well with women. He clings onto women so they run. His mother abandoned him so he's looking for mom. He's open about his addiction. I pray both of these guys beat their addictions.
Is the young man you know in therapy or seeing a mental health professional? Parental abandonment is significant attachment trauma that should be addressed in tandem with his other concerns.
@@theshunnedBandersnatch He's part of a group I'm in. We all talk about our lives. He said the group is helping him a lot. The group was formed to help people connect with others and make life improvements. He was seeing a therapist but could no longer afford to go.
@@starrjohnson1327 Oh good! Sad he couldn't continue therapy but it can be prohibitively expensive, and with rising cost of living, it's easy to cut it out. I'm glad he's connecting with others and I hope he thrives with you all 😊
My issue as well, therapy helps a bit I guess. Still doesn’t heal 27 years of abandonment trauma, most porn addictions start from abandonment/trauma from unattuned or absent parents.
I feel like I’ve kicked the addiction now but I really still feel like it’s still with me and effecting me. Like a big giant scar on my life in a way.
I'm a drug addict. I would imagine being a porn addict is much of the same. Being an addict will follow you through life. Don't ever think you're over it or it will bite you on the ass.
@@darksu6947 Not a very optimal approach, Not everyone walks away 100% addiction free, but some do. Without any problems
@@vklkg5486 Yeah I never cared for the whole "you will always be an addict" nonsense. It's all learned behavior, it can be kicked. If it still "follows you" you haven't gotten to the root of the problem, you just disciplined yourself enough to quit
I wanted to ask you as a dug addict, did you notice a similarity between withdrawal asymptos of drug and porn addict, or porn withdrawal outweighs cocain ?
Porn addiction is the only addiction that has zero withdrawal, you only gain benefits freeing yourself from that trap.
Check the ebook easy peasy
The number one factor that's common amongst people addicted to pornography is meaninglessness.
And like any other addiction... You convince yourself that it helps you cope with that, but does it REALLY help?
Meaningless, loneliness, a lack of a sense of purpose. All addictions fill an emptiness in our hearts that we've failed to fill any other way, and we find this thing that finally works, and we embrace it full hog.
There's a reason porn is free. It's there to keep men weak and lonely. Breaking out of this addiction is just as hard as alcohol or any other drugs.
Not free. It is only snippets to get you to buy the good stuff. Ads if you will.
I was bordering porn addiction for several years. Every private moment I had I used to watch porn and for masturbation. I actually didn't do anything, one day I just stopped. I think my libido finally just dropped, thankfully. I hope this guy finds peace.
You werent "bordering" addiction, you were addicted. Your libido dropped because the excess dopamine production and consumption causes your brain to stop producing it as a self protection mechanism. This is why porn addicts experience erectile dysfunction, depression, loss of motivation, and low libido.
@@southwestxnorthwest ok that might be right. I thought one of the defining points of addiction is that it affected your day to day life. I functioned at work, with family, and socially ok, it didnt prevent me from living normally like the caller’s situation. Although it did prevented me from finding new hobbies and interests outside of those things, but I wouldn’t describe that it ever “destroyed” my life.
Did it stop you feeling pleasure with women?
Think of how much money and heart ache you saved yourself.
I got rid of my computer. Started going to church and reading the Bible. It helps like nothing else has.
I so appreciate this guy's call, and his honesty. This speaks to me as I've had a problem with this for quite some time, and it's chilling when Dr John says he's close to meet ups, I've experienced that personally and can say absolutely yes, that's where it leads. Standing in God's grace today taking one day at a time, stepping out of denial and opening to his love and the people around me 🙏🏼
Same for me brother you're not alone God is good He saved me from horrible things I did
I agree. Less the addiction which is outside of my skill set, alot of this sounds like teenage anxiety or growing pains. Remember, he is 18. If he was having these issues at my age 38 it would be a different story.
I put a few quotes on here about how much I praise and respect this young man. I am a straight man in mid 30 and have two quick questions. My meet ups did Dr. John mean meeting up with me to sleep with them? Also, why would a straight man want to do that with other men? I know sexuality is nuanced and he is a younger guy, but that seemed odd to me. Again, I said in a few posts I think he is a sweet kid and will get it under control.
@@DominickSpano Someone would do stuff like this because when you're this addicted to lust and porn and sex you'll do anything you can just to orgasm (getting your fix) including having sex with another man.
@@rodneyjones1990 He does have issues to work though.
I think we all have some addictions, to some degree. Here I am, on UA-cam. I spend too much time here.
I’ve been battling this addiction for a long time as well. I’m on day 8. Sounds like nothing but I can already feel the difference. A long time ago I went over 100 days without it and when I finally did relapse I felt dazed and horrible. I’m going to remind myself of that moment so I can finally overcome this.
Dude...get it together. Porn isn't real life, it's escapism.
I suggest not counting the days. There is really no need to do that. Honestly its a bit counterintuitive because it will have you thinking back to when you last watched it, and will make it more painful. You wouldnt want to get to a day where youre like “its day 1000”. Like sure that would be a great thing, but at day 1000 you wouldnt want to be thinking about the last time you watched porn. At that point porn should be out of your minds awareness. Focus on callousing your mind to the idea of porn, not counting the days. At the end of the day it’s a mindset, not a numbers game.
@@TheRealHerbaSchmurba that’s some good advice. I appreciate it.
@@island661 it’s not that simple. It’s something that I was exposed to as a teenager and have been using it since then. I’m 37 now. My body is chemically dependent on it. The withdrawal symptoms are nasty. Anxiety, insomnia, anger. It’s difficult going through the withdrawal while trying to be a functional human being. The world doesn’t stop for anyone just bc they have an addiction. I still have to go to work and all that.
@@Aquarat86 Rehab for a few months. I grew up with alcoholics too. It can be done if your really want it. Take medication until you get through it.
This poor young man. At least he, unlike too many psychological "experts" in the field, is more than a little aware that he has a very large issue that must be resolved in order to live a normal Life. Sex and pornography addiction are one of the greatest banes in our society. I hope he follows through with his treatment, especially with the fellowship he needs and deserves.
Well said
He could get a girlfriend easily if he wasn't looking for an airbrushed model. That's the trouble with porn: no real woman can measure up. Plus they fake orgasims, so guys who watch a lot of porn have no idea how to please a real woman or worse, they get mad at the woman for not coming like the porn woman. 100% he needs to shift his focus on learning about woman, what makes them happy, feel safe, find funny and then meet real women and get to know them as a person. And, when they're at a point in the relationship to get intimate, he'll have to spend a lot of time learning what she likes. It probably won't be anything he's seen in the films.
Hope he finds a way out.
I think that’s what wrong with dating. Expectations are off and a lot of porn a addicts are looking for a “fantasy” woman or man that doesn’t exist. Not looking for connection or love but a quick fix to satisfy their desires.
Nonsense.. amateur porn is huge ..and thankfully bi stuff is becoming more accepted especially in porn
I watched tons of porn before ever being with a woman but I never developed any of those weird expectations and have a healthy relationship with my wife today. You don’t watch a tv show and think that’s how reality works so why do some people have the impression that porn is reality? In fact I heard consistently throughout my life about how unrealistic pornography is. There is also a lot of pretty mild/sensual kind of stuff out there, if you’re attracted to the darker stuff then I think that was in you already.
@@thorneto2742 because porn was never the problem it's just a crutch. Something else is usually goin on . Just easier to blame porn on all problems
It's over. 80% of the women are dating the top 20% of men. We're regressing to a pre-civilizational "harem" model.
Brilliant segment Dr Delony 👍 you offered some excellent guidance on helping this young man with his addiction..I really question the integrity of people who supply this online porn - it’s devastating our younger generation who are very impressionable..👍🙏 I know it’s a sensitive subject but it needs to be addressed in schools - this man has been doing this since he was a child
You are right! It should give the student as a warning from school this addiction destroyed their life! Help us God! " My people destroyed the lack of knowledge! Hosea 4:6🙏🙏🙏
When it comes to actors in the mainstream industry, some were trafficked, others abused and forced into it and more. It's very shady and predatory, and actually quite a few Gen Zers and millennials have discussed the ethics of the industry at length and refuse to consume content from those mainstream companies because of its dubious origins.
It’s not just men who are in the same boat. Women have this addiction too. I’ve had it since I was in elementary school. I’m now 40 and it has been a struggle all of my life. I need to find a group and get help.
Mad respect for the maturity right here! Even at 18 to call for help…amazing
Damn this hits home, similar situation to this kid. I’m 28, not the 30 times a day but I can admit I have an issue. Thanks for giving me some Optimism joe and john. You got this kid, we got this!
30 times.. For me max was 3 but still doing that with porn for around 20 years( not sure when I exactly started) now I am 29 and huge part of life was wasted and now being close to 30 it's making this even harder. Glad for people who discover so early and will be able to kill that addiction.
What if i say i can end porn addiction of any men in 5 mins forever 100% permently, not only this i can make men ambitious, hard working, good after women. I can decrease rape & hatred towards women around the word in one month by 80%.
Huge respect to the gentlemen on the phone. I myself deal with addictions, not to porn, but to certain vices that really seem to control my life (thc and nicotine). Glad I found this channel
I wish this young man the best of luck.
I just left a relationship because of porn addiction. My ex boyfriend was following 2000+ hyper sexual accounts on Instagram and 1500+ hyper sexual accounts on TikTok. My sixteen year old daughter was the one who told me.
When you join TikTok, it asks if you want to follow people in your contacts. She said yes. That’s how she found out. Then she told me about it.
My 44 year old boyfriend was following two sixteen year old girls on TikTok. One of them he had been following for five months. When I confronted him about following a sixteen year old girl for five months, he told me that he didn’t know she was sixteen. Her original profile clearly stated she was 16. Both sixteen year old girls stated that they’re 16 on their accounts.
If he only had a porn addiction, we may have been able to work things out. Unfortunately, he also made sexually inappropriate comments to my daughter. Remember, she’s the same age as two of the girls he was following on TikTok.
Porn addiction is real and it has real consequences. It destroys relationships. It leads to ED. There are men in their twenties who have to use Viagra or Cialis in order to be physically intimate with their partners.
Young man, thank you for your bravery. Good luck.
Good lord 😨 I am so glad that he is an ex.
@@theshunnedBandersnatch Me, too.😆. My daughter’s glad, my mom is glad. My friends are glad.
Omg 😨 that is disturbing I’m glad you removed him from your life asap
@@seanm7539 I didn’t remove him from my life ASAP. It took me 20 years and a good counselor to figure it out. When I told my counselor that I felt like I went from living with a controlling mom to a controlling husband, my whole world shifted. She recommended that I read The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. Through that book I was able to see both my mom and my husband. After I finished The Verbally Abusive Relationship, I read the Verbally Abusive Man: Can He Change? By the same author. I was on the fence about what I should do. When my ex said, “Despite what you think, I like my temper,” I knew the relationship was over.
A while back, one of my ex’s cousin’s wives contacted me out of the blue. I had met this woman twice. I called her. She told me that she was getting divorced. One of the first things I asked her was who was ending the relationship. She told me it was her. I congratulated her for pulling her head out of her butt. She was going though the same stuff I was going through. Actually, hers was worse.
My ex and her ex are first cousins. I don’t know which family member started the abuse, but I do know that their grandfather was abusive. Before talking to her, I only knew the spaghetti story. Grandpa got mad and threw a plate of spaghetti at the wall. He was “mad at Grandma “ for some reason. She told me that Grandpa had broken my father-in-law’s nose a few times. She told me that my ex’s uncle (my father-in-law’s brother) would beat his wife. I told her that my father-in-law had once gotten physical with my brother-in-law. He was two at the time. My mother-in-law told him that if he did something like that again, she would leave. Physical and emotional abuse is a part of my ex’s family story. Unfortunately, they don’t talk about it, so it’s not allowed to be worked on.
I have come to see that abuse is very common. Once I told my counselor that my mom is controlling, my world shifted. My mom was controlling before I was born. I lived with thinking controlling behavior was normal until I was 43. It was normal for me to be controlled.
Once I revealed my truth to my counselor, I started talking to other people about it. I have had more than one discussion where I rank my controlling mom to someone else’s controlling mom. Me: My mom called me fat. My friend: My mom called me fat, in front of my friends. Me: Ok, You win. Your mom is more controlling. (I get my sarcasm from my dad.)
I’m sorry for such a long response. 😆.
I was addicted to porn for 12 years of my life. I got married in 2009, after I was completely sober for 6 months. Anyways I can vouch for the fact that Porn causes problems getting erections when you're with someone in person.
I remember getting married and being so excited to finally have real sex for the first time. I had a hard time getting an erection and I also remember not feeling turned on by her. Struggling to get an erection lasted... maybe 3 or 4 months. Thankfully that didnt last too long. But it happened and I was really baffled by that. Sadly we are not married anymore. She cheated on me in 2011, told me it was my fault, and left me. It has left a huge hole in me that took a long time to heal. I have not had sex not even once since december of 2011. I'm not happy about that. Its very sad and Im very lonely.
Anyway I just wanted to share what I struggled with right after getting married. Its true.
This poor guy! The first caller you can feel his desperation and he is so young. He is so brave to put this out in public. I hope he gets help!
We need more channels like this to make UA-cam the best place
Men seek purpose and when we cannot find purpose we fall for sedations.
Let’s not blame it on other people. People don’t make other people happy. Happiness comes from yourself. If you can’t be happy by yourself.. yes you will lead a miserable life no matter who is standing next to you. In turn you’ll drag them down with you, too.
There is no “purpose.” Anyone demanding that if life WHIKE threatening to act insane if they don’t find it is doomed to said insanity. Life is to be lived. You either do it well, neutrally or crappily. There is no purpose.
Very proud of this kid being able to talk about his problem. It takes a man to do that.
Yes he's so articulate for 18. Impressive.
I am so happy that John volunteered to take the journey towards recovery with this young man…I’m rooting for him!!! 👏👏👏👏
I’m 21, this spoke to me on so many levels, even more so when he says that guy’s name, because my name is Joseph.
Just seeing my own 18 year old self right after HS and how I have changed now abt to graduate Uni at 22, I have come so far. Bro you got this, change is hard but whatever is weighing on you don’t give up.
THANK YOU DR. JOHN. The kid started this whole conversation blaming other girls and saying it's a replacement for a girlfriend. It's absolutely not the same thing. He needed to hear that, I hope this kid gets to a better place and puts this chapter behind him. He has a lot of life left to live.
This guy needs a lifestyle hobby. Jujitsu, sports taekwondo (what i did) , boxing, etc would be a good option. Maybe a gaming store where he can play games (warhammer, trading card games)? Or a sports team like soccer or basketball? But he needs something to give him an identity other than "the porn guy."
isn't he in college? He could be 'I am the lawyer' guy or whatever his profession will be. Gaming is a bad hobby.- sitting on his ass all day by PC, probably eating just food as Americans like, he'll also be fat, which makes people more miserable and unhealthy. Sports suggestions are great.
@@marianemashkalo4182 Education and career is a profession, but not a substitute for an enjoyable passion. Many professionals live miserable lives.
I never suggested video games. I suggested face to face games. Warhammer in particular requires you to assemble and paint miniatures which exercises the artistic part of the brain. The game aspect requires face to face interactions with people to participate. As for the fat accusation, Henry Cavill (superman actor) plays warhammer. The guy is ripped. I also think Robin Williams did as well.
@@wfTitus oh I thought it was a video game, sorry about that.
As for career, if he chose well, it can be his identity partially of course. You're right about the hobby in general, he obviously has a lot of time for porn
@@wfTitus He did mention that he is having financial trouble though, so Warhammer and MtG might not be the best for his wallet lol. I agree that tabletop games can be a great hobby to connect with people though
@@AliciaMcIntire Yeah 😅 Warhammer is an expensive one. But it was more the type than the specific game. Kings of War, star wars, war machine. Something to get him in front of people and/or takes up his time. Heck, it could be a cooking class! Just something that fits his personality and interests.
I'm cheering you on dude!!! I quit porn about 2 years ago or so after using it for nearly 13 years. It doesn't magically change your life and make it better. But it shows you that you have agency over your life and enables you to make other changes that are lifechanging. It's the first domino that falls that can escalate to bigger and bigger change.
Wow, I'm honestly very proud of this young man for being so introspective and honest. I hope that he finds a good group of friends that are a positive, supportive, and active. Some people live in denial for DECADES before they face the truth and get some help! He can overcome.
The important part is this guy recognizes there is a problem and refuses to be in Denial, respect
Porn addiction ruined my marriage. It wrecked our lives and we divorced...stole our intimacy, he couldn't stop, and at the end of it all exposed our Son bc he wasn't being responsible where he watched it. It rewards the same receptors as cocaine and the material gets so graphic that it's SOOOO bad
So much truth here!! My ex exposed our kids to things they should have never seen and it has scared them. Selfish behaviors as he never could own up to it saying all me do it. Ruined so many things in my kids and my life. But he has friends who support him and his behaviors, including his own father. Just makes me sick!!!
As someone who is currently dating a man whose ex wife left him die to his porn addiction, this is really sobering to hear. I’m so sorry you went through this and I’m trying to figure out if I’m making the right decision.
@@lalala1813 well did you?
@@tatshmorningstar8811 I broke up with him and am now dating another guy our age who like me has never been married and doesn't watch porn. Much happier!
As a 22 year old Catholic who grew up struggling with porn addiction. A lot of what this kid said resonated very seeply with me. I feel like porn has ruined so many aspects of my life. It seems as if it detracts from enjoyment of hobbies, my speech ability, social participation and so much else. But the key, at least it seems so to me, is to stay positive and fill the vaccuum left by a porn addiction with something new and better. Not necessarily related to therapy, but rather an enjoyable social activity. I hope this kid is doing well.
I am a Catholic who is a struggling with porn addiction and masturbation. It has really taking a toll on my spiritual, mental, and physical wellbeing. I’ll go a week or 2 and then I’ll be right back to it. I feel so guilty and it pulls me farther away from the Church and from Christ. It feels impossible for me to conquer
The Catholic Church has a way of pushing you to perversion by making you hate who you are and that you will always be a pathetic sinner. I grew up Catholic and so many people growing up on the church fall into porn and promiscuity. I loathe the Church and what they do to children and how that helped me to hate my self.
I know for a fact that social media is the number one trigger of every porn addiction. I hope this guy actually listened and deleted his social media accounts, cuz my 27 year old husband thinks I'm crazy when I tell him that when he ends up on porn hup is because he's been watching a marathon of instagram and snapchat reels.
So bloody true.
You’re 1000000% correct. I’d even add that even if someone never watches porn, if they’re spending hours SOO scrolling, it’s destroying their dopamine receptors just the same.
It's true
Coming at this from another angle, first and foremost, this is eye opening, thank you for taking the time to work with this reality and confront this horrid addiction. Being in a relationship where your partner is engrossed in these activities manages to do the same thing to the partner. I'm not good enough, he needs these other women because I don't measure up. I'll never be good enough and then the self loathing creeps in. As a female, this is where my feminity goes to die. Feeling like a dump truck in the back of the salvage yard that nobody goes to visit, meanwhile all the brand new Ferrari's are up front all gleaming and beautiful. Loving this man with all my heart and yet losing all passion to even want to be in the room with him. It never occured to me that he would be thinking this about himself, but there were signs and this has made things crystal clear. What a horrible industry, everyone involved from the actors to the consumers and their partners alike, all devastated.
I was in his shoes for over 20yrs. God saved me from my porn addiction.
Any practical tips?
Been addicted since 11, I'm 19 now.
@@pep1679 Do drugs instead.
Advice please
@@pep1679 I also were addicted since 11! I'm 22 almost now. It's hell..
Gen Z and Gen Alpha are going to get absolutely destroyed in the coming years. Kids are getting addicted to this at 8-10 years old!!! That is crazy!!!!
Hmm, I can maybe see part of the origin story of "incels" in this call.
Much respect for this guy for trying to turn his world around.
I had the same thought.
Accepting you have a problem is the first step in recovery they always say. I'm sure he'll pull through
“You cannot get enough of what doesn’t satisfy.” - George N. Collins
The devil is after our men’s minds, he loves filling them with so much shame. Lord shine your face upon this young man and deliver him from these demonic addictions
I’m really liking these interviews and how real and upfront you are with your callers, asking the tough questions that the audience is also wondering 💯
I am free! I want everyone to know that you can overcome this addiction. I have been able to remove pornography from my life after about 30 years of it. I thank Dr. Delony for helping young men not waste their lives in this terrible addiction.
@sbcjusv im never free of the temptation but for about a year and a half
@sbcjusv i get erections talk to women gain more muscle sleep better less shame depression. Look people in the eye. Its really just watching another dude have sex with a chick that you want to. Once I started seeing it as that it helped. Good luck my friend
It’s nearly impossible to get away from sexual content on the internet. Every time I scroll Facebook I see women sexualizing themselves on reels and other outlets. Not to mention full on pornography available on twitter. Like you don’t even have to intentionally search it out anymore. It’s crazy out there.. and I sympathize with this guy😔
Dang. He came clean completely. He sounds more like a 34 year old than an 18 year old. Good on him. I hope he gets what he’s looking for. That’s tough dealing with that. My wife helped me overcome that shadow. I owe her everything
Such a good Dr.
Good job. Pray this guy recovers. Porn is destroying so many people.