Avoiding School Shootings and the Boy Crisis | Dr. Warren Farrell | EP 261
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- Опубліковано 30 кві 2024
- Dr. Warren Farrell is a political scientist, activist, speaker, and author of The Boy Crisis. He has been interviewed by Oprah, Barbara Walters, Tucker Carlson, Peter Jennings, and many others. Dr. Farrell conducts communication workshops, and his writings have been frequently featured in The New York Times.
In this episode, Dr. Farrell and I discuss issues that lead to mass homicides committed by young men. We also talk about child-rearing and boundary enforcement, discriminating between male competence and male power compulsion, and the importance of recognizing and rewarding a father’s contributions to their children’s development. Dr. Farrell and I also share a personal message to anyone who may be harboring vengeful fantasies.
-Links-
The Boys Crisis - warrenfarrell.com/product/the...
Follow Dr. Farrell on Twitter: / drwarrenfarrell
Website: warrenfarrell.com
Couples’ communication course: warrenfarrell.com/couples-com...
More books by Dr. Farrell: amazon.com/s?i=stripbooks&rh=...
-Chapters-
[0:00] Intro
[2:51] The Boy Crisis & Mass Shootings
[8:57] A Lack of Father Figures
[9:29] Differences Between Mothers, Fathers, & Boundary Enforcement
[13:42] Why Family Dinners Matter
[15:43] Frans de Waal, Chimp Behavior, & the Human Moral Ethos
[18:45] Why Involved Fathers Matter
[22:59] Psychology of School Shooters
[25:41] Dr. Farrell’s Similarities with the Uvalde Shooter
[33:25] Effects of ‘Toxic Masculinity’ & ‘Male Privilege’ on Young Men
[37:03] Male Competence vs. Male Power Compulsion
[42:15] Saying ‘No’ & Expecting Girls to Share Rejection-Risks
[44:49] Crumb & Psychopathological Fantasies
[47:00] Conflicting Emotions & Motivations
[49:22] “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”
[53:58] “When only one sex wins, both lose”
[54:12] On Feminism
[57:36] Empathy, Facades, & Male Vulnerability
[1:03:51] Why Play Matters
[1:12:33] Teasing, Bullying, & Resilience
[1:17:32] Rewarding Dads
[1:20:36] Appreciation Training
[1:24:07] Character Development
[1:29:07] Status, Negotiation, & Reconciliation
[1:33:34] Opponent Processing & Handling Criticism
[1:43:46] Words for Anyone Harboring Vengeful Fantasies
[1:46:51] Setting Families Up for Success
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May I offer a suggestion of speaking with Rabbi YY jacobson. You can look him up on youtube and the conversation about god would be wonderful
I have listened to your conversation with richard dawkins, sam harris, hamza yusuf,mohammad hijab and many others. I humbly suggest this name from a jewish perspective
God bless you forever and always Jordan! In Jesus Name amen💛🙏💪!
Listening to this podcast makes me want to throw up.
I think a discussion with Donald Hoffman would be brilliant 🤯
Imagine how different the world would be if most people watched and actually listened to conversations like this.
True, but it's too politically incorrect. Neo-marxist and feminists would fault it for being toxic masculinity and oppressive and misogyny.
Imagine how many people are being fooled by Farrell. He was elected to the board *three times* for one of the groups that helped to cause the problem that he now makes money writing & talking about. He made money on both ends of the crisis, and people still don't see that his incentive is to prolong, rather than solve the problem.
yeah. many or most people will tell you to relax if you stay in-touch with reality at all. sad
Exactly! the situation is, on one hand, disbelief in the truth (except their own) and the tyrannical imposition of their view on others. on the other hand, there's so much public and widespread pressure, that it's moment against the truth exerts a lot of pressure on people like us. travel wisely and strategically.
I hear ya - Lucas! Communication is Key, there would be less wars as well.
I have sympathy for damaged boys because I was raised by my sexist mother, with no male role models, so I hated men before I was even old enough to date. I am blessed to have my husband who got me away from her and now I'm blessed with a son who will never know this kind of neglect. Thank you so much for speaking to these lost people and being a lighthouse to them.
🙏🏼❤️
God bless you! You’re a good Mom.
Unfortunately there is nothing more damaging than this faux feminism that is really just a disguise for resentment towards failed relationships. My single mom constantly talked about how my dad was a psychopath and that all of her relationships were negative and that the patriarchy was responsible for a lot of her problems. there is some truth to that but god it was not what I should've heard as a young boy. It's taken years of self work to even begin to weed these destructive narratives from my subconscious. If you are taught as a kid that your own gender is inherently flawed and harmful, you are immediately weakened and separated from the whole self which is a combination of feminine and masculine.
Humanity still have future. Hope in humanity restored. They are not winning, and I hope to be able to do what your husband did one day and create a family too, despite the cruel things they teach woman nowadays .
Yes… my mother despised men. I was also hurt by this. But I also have sons - now grown. I had luck my mother never had… the ability to listen like good men like these sticking up for boys!!
So much of this hits home to me. I'm a 27 year old white male. My brother and I had one horrible stepfather for an eight year chunk of our youth. I didn't graduate highschool but did get a GED. My mother did everything she could and I have so much respect for her but now, after all this time, I'm hearing what boys like us turn into. I ended up in a mental health facility after I checked myself into the emergency room for suicidal thoughts, the only thing that stopped me from pulling the trigger was the fact that my Mom and brother would have to deal with that. For me, relationships are close to non-existent with the opposite sex, I have no idea how to initiate or progress and therefore no confidence in my ability to engage. I have never wanted to better myself until recently and I'm feeling much more masculine now that I have started working out. I no longer feel depressed and I feel like I'm just now starting to grow into a real person and I have people like these two doctors to thank for that. I want to have a family so I can be the best father I can, to see that more children don't go through that utter turmoil.
Thank you
@@LCmonman thanks that means a lot! I will certainly consider that.
You're not alone man, we are all around. It just isn't talked about, I don't feel comfortable being vulnerable around anyone, but its nice on the anonymity of the internet I can escape my anxiety and hope to send you words of encouragement. Like you say, quitting isn't an option, we didn't ask for this life but now we have it. I am so proud of you, other people probably don't understand but I have undergone a very similar history, and those victories are big. You can help other young men too, you don't have to be a father, but I wish you luck in that venture too. Look at JP here acting as such a powerful male role model for all of us, we can at least be grateful for that and try emulate it for others in our position.
Stay strong my young brother
Just remember, you didn’t eff up, but the adults in your life did. Go forward with your head up young man. I encourage you to watch Taylor Marshall, a Catholic father.
You are not alone there are females also who feel what you do but u would never know.never yield to any thing or one who make you feel undesirable use the negative to your advantage and grip your version of positive to bring you success ,woot to your mom's and bro =good ppl 💯👍
This conversation is GOLD. I can absolutely concur on ALL these "boy crisis" topics covered. I'm divorced and share custody of our four children with the ex. I have remained single because I know the absolute importance of being a father to my children. I have my young son involved in soccer and boxing. I love him endlessly but I hold him accountable for his mistakes. With me, my children never miss a day in school and I stay vigilant on their academic performances. Their mom soon remarried and is not as involved (in my opinion). When with her, my kids have missed school days multiple times, they have minimal supervision and she relies on her parents to watch them when she'saway.
Knowing what I know about fatherless children statistics, I doubled down on my role as a father. On weekends, we visit museums and do things that bond us. I talk to my children about everything and always let them know that I love them and will always be here for them. With their mom, they're mostly stuck at home, glued to their phones while she's out with her guy. That infuriates me!
My point is obvious; fathers are extremely important to the moral rearing of children, especially boys. I'm not perfect and sometimes I feel overwhelmed with my multiple roles at home and at work, but I'll be dammed if I allow my children to fail in society because I was absent . Thank you, Dr. Peterson, for this content. God bless you, sir 🇺🇸👍
Respect
Jeez u know what's up
Yup ... teach them how to be misogynistic homophobic incels
Hope your kids don’t think dad hates mom lol
If I ever have children I know my role model 🍻
I listened to this and ran to thank my husband for everything he is to our kids. Its a fact, I truly couldn't parent well without him, WE NEED STRONG MEN, MASCULINITY IS NOT TOXIC!!!
We'll have to wait a whole generation for that. For now we'll see how this social experiment of demasculinization will turn out. It will definitely weed out the weak ones.
Social men that develop great communication and relationships is the first trait of a good Alpha, and protective and providing at an individual level is secondary
@@jordanlyon7059 So you're basically saying it's more important to talk the talk than to walk the walk. Tells me you don't know the first thing about being an alpha.
@@JoaoCosta-ly1sw You do realize you can do both right? And he said "communication" not wishful words.
@@user-rx7uh9mg4f I never said you can't do both. In the real world, results matter more than words. Yes, a lot of women will go for the guy who says she has a beautiful smile, but smart women will go for the guy who puts food on the table and a roof over their heads. Protecting and providing are primary, not secondary.
Imagine how fantastic the world would be if every man knew how important fatherhood is to our society. Great discussion.
Agreed. And imagine how fantastic the world would be if every WOMAN knew how important fatherhood is to our society? We would be in even better condition.
Don't forget women who are the initiators of divorce most of the time and who get custody of the children by default. Also, women who have children outside of marriage.
What impresses me is how we had cultural and religious structures which codified fatherhood and responsibility into our societies and those cultural and religious structures have been completely undermined in my lifetime that what was once a worldwide tragedy is now commonplace misfortune.
yeah, or how toxic for us men, single motherhood it actually is...
Imagine how fantastic the world would be if every **WOMAN** knew how important fatherhood is to our society.
"A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." -African Proverb
Please do not stop talking about this subject…as a former school teacher and mother and grandmother I know how important your message is for society. Young men I know seem to have a fear of marriage and of being a parent. Little boys need to have both mom and dad and adults who can encourage and teach them that there is great reward if we learn how to communicate and listen. Connection…we always need it.
You're spot on a core of us are afraid. I do not want to be "MeAlso"d and reputation ruined, or divorced and taken for cash and prizes, and maybe my kids; or even imprisoned or bankrupted by courts that still too often behave as though we are in the 1930s, when it comes to gender dynamics.
I freely admit I may be missing out on having relationships, and tragically so are some women, but you actually also get ignored increasingly in dating anyway, unless you are a "Chad or Tyrone", to quote a "malesphere" quote.
I am sorry to have to say this, in 2022. But alongside the toxic men that are out there, some women don't understand just how much of the sisterhood behaving badly is also making good men look at women now as a dangerous possible liability to them, rather than an asset. It's terrible for connection, parenting, and society as you say: but it's been building like this for a while.
Agreed.
They tell us we are evil every day. What do you expect to see happen?
Your view is very heteronormative , children need loving caring parents , plenty of gay parents do a good job at raising their kids .
@@ramy8338 she, or any others here, I doubt have been deliberately excluding gay couples here.
She seemed to be trying to making a point about young hetero men, and hetero families.
The man I call Dad passed away August 31 of last year. I spent a while of my life resenting him because we were so different but I would give anything for 5 more minutes with him. Just to tell him thank you. Thank you for pushing me, challenging me, and even defending me at times when needed. I am a successful supervisor at my job, a better husband, and a better parent because of him. I will always love you because you taught me how. RIP Captain Mike Stokes. Until we meet again
My sincere condolences
Thank you for sharing with us
♥️🙏🏻😎
I am sorry for your loss.
Amen...
I can so relate to your story as mine is similar. I too would wish for just 5 minutes with him so I could tell him all the things I should have told him when he was alive. Unfortunately I only realised what a strong man he was after he passed. I always said he was not a good father but today I know that he was the best he knew how to be. (His father died when he was very young so he had no role model). My realisation, too late unfortunately, is that I was not the best son I could have been. His lessons did reach me however, even if many of them were only realised later, I am the man I am today because of him. I'm far from perfect but I think my morals and ethics are in the right place.
Rip
Thank you for commenting (again) on this issue. I myself am the child of two heroin addicted parents. When I was grown up, it became clear that I was suffering from Borderline personality disorder which was leading me into a very lonely life as a grown up. I almost succumbed to alcohol, like me father did, before he died (my mother had died from a sepsis in combination with AIDS when I was 9 years old) some years ago.
There are times, when I feel so damn lonely and left behind by every living being that it almost crushes me. If it would not have been because if my two cats, I would surely already be dead, after the love of my life (my only girlfriend ever, in 40 years of age) left me in 2016. When I was in my mid 20s, I was thinking about "going rampage on the streets", as well.
To me, life was feeling like complete, random chaos, which is absolutely unpredictable, but yet, everybody else seemed to not suffer from this "chaos". Everybody else seemed to get spared by that "chaos". I was feeling that I wanted to show them, how life feels to me, before I was "leaving myself" (i.e. ending myself). Luckily I did not do it. It remained a dark fantasy, deep in my heart. Thank god for that!
Much later, I realized that it was not the world, which was unfair to me while treating everybody else much better, it was me, who was wrong. I did suffer, because I was too afraid to get hurt by other people, so I locked myself in, retreating from the world. Staying alone, even when I was surrounded by other people. Even when I was TALKING with other people.
I thought people would hate (or fear) me, once I would really speak out what I was thinking and showing which strong emotions and impulses were lurking behind the surface of my seemingly shallow surface.
And maybe they would have. Maybe I was right, hiding all of that in front of them. Like I did with my girlfriend. My therapist was scolding me, for not speaking about my feelings with her and what I have experienced in my childhood years. But I realized that if I would have shown it to her, in the state of development, where I was stuck, then, I would have lost her, as well. She would have most propably been overpowered by that unfiltered stream of raw emotions and undifferenciated feelings.
It took me 6 full years and hard work to be able to understand those emotions better. Today, I would do it differently. If she would still be there (which she isn't since she is married now and has a child with her husband), I would be able to open up and tell her, what is going on inside of me, without just dumping all of it out in front of her.
Time can never be undone. I feel sad, when I think about it.
Like JBP says, I want to shake my hand at god and ask him, shout at him, "why do you do this to me?", "what have I done to deserve this?" and "have I not yet experienced enough suffering in all these years? Really?!".
But then I have to remind myself. You can not escape the suffering that comes with life. Years before, I was feeling the urge to hurt myself in similiar situations. To cut myself open or break my bones, to get the hope of atoning for my sins (i.e. my flaws). Now I realized that I was NOT atoning for my sins, by doing that. I was escaping the atoning by hurting and hating myself. There is only one thing a man like me can do to atone for his sins. To become the best version, he can be. Not for himself, but for the people around him. The people in his life. Even if it may be only a few of them.
THAT is atoning for your sins.
You may not get what you wish for in life. But there are other people around, who feel your pain, too. You are not alone.
Maybe it is too late to get a family on my own, now. I am not exactly a heart throb, after all. Maybe it is better, not to get a family, after all. Who knows, if my children would be forced to suffer, like I did. But this is a question which is not dependant on me, anymore. Either it will happen or it won't.
There are other things in life, which are worth fighting (and possibly living) for. Even small things. Make the life of your surrounding people a better life.
When I was doing the shopping, a few hours ago, I made eye contact with the cashier at the mall. She was around 10 years older than me. I smiled at her, to maybe brighten up her life a bit. And brightening up, she did. It was only a small gesture, nothing special. But sometimes, small things can make a big difference, in life.
Sorry for that wall of text, seemingly out of context. But it is not out of context. I have been one of those boys, myself, and I can feel their pain and their despair.
And there are so damn many young men (or maybe you could better call them boys) out there who are completely alone with their feelings of loneliness and isolation. And nobody, really nobody, cares for them. They are all alone. And the pain of being all alone makes them mad, like I was, in my own youth.
Thank god that, at least two good men, JBP and Warren Farrell are trying to help them. And thank to all the therapists out there, as well.
PS: I was thinking about something, I heard, a long time ago, when I was young. Somebody said: "If children [or adults] are loud, annoying or very active, I don't worry, at all. It's the quite ones, those who do not make any trouble, who do even seem to cooperate willfully to make the life of their parents (or other people, in general) easier, which give me the worries."
Thank you for writing this. I find it difficult to communicate in words the way this touched my heart. Your openness and raw truth, and that space where hope resides is very powerful. I wish you many good things on your path. Keep smiling.
Thank you brother. Keep strong. Much love from India
Shed a tear on this. I relate so much. Hope the best for you brother
Sorry to hear of your difficulties. You do write with passion and clarity.
Love and light ❤️
As a married mother I am grateful for this conversation and information. I was raised by a single mother and I can tell in my marriage and parenting I have gaps when understanding and working with my husband and his role as a father in the house.
U have no gaps just shortcomings that can be mended by your unique sense of honesty with yourself.
If I knew you I’d give you a hug. My son was abducted and torn away from me and your post here gave me hope
@@vinceocratic Very sorry to hear this. I assume it was by a family member.
I hope you find him.
Well he shouldn't have left. I'm glad mine did. I would have been shot.
Same. Sometimes o feel like my husband is too harsh, but the reality is that he is really just preparing them for real life. He is very loving and a great father. I can be hyper sensitive, especially not having a father in the home growing up.
The direct message to those struggling with the revengeful thought is more than what any politician has done.
I grew up without a father, but positive father figures saved my life throughout my teenage year.
Now, I am excited to be a father in a few weeks and I love my job as a Therapist helping teenagers with their challenges.
We need more conversations like this.
This comment section makes me cry in a good sense. What you are telling about yourself is something I want to tell in a few years too. I am 18 and slowly coming out of all this fatherlessness and lack of purpose and all the negative coming with it.
Your message really makes me cry so much it gives me hope and strength. Sometimes I feel like it is impossible to become a man without a man making me a man.
And in some way this message is part of that missing man.
Thank you and I wish you the very best.
Please be a man and a father
I salute you man. There was no father figure I felt like I could turn to when I was struggling so the only thing I had left was to see if we really have one up there. I know fine well that not enough boys (especially nowadays) have the common sense to do that. You've filled a deep void
I knew I had a great huge family and a grandfather and yes nowadays I still remembered meeting my real father who is in the US but even without a father or uncle around in my house and mostly with my mother I rely on good positive fathers in video games and other movies that has moral lessons, although I am stressed and depressed because of this god forbidden degenerate society in the modern age.
Wow man, that is just amazing. I had a bit of a rough patch as a teen and realized that there wasn’t really anyone that reached out to teens, especially boys, then. I wanted to be a councilor for teens when I became an adult. I never did but I appreciate seeing someone that did. You may not get many thank you’s so I want to say thank you. Thank you for being the counselor that I never had. You have probably done more for some people than you will ever know or be acknowledged for.
Oh wow I’m so happy for you bro, truly!! Therapist as a career is rewarding as your helping you’re self and people that are suffering
Drs. Farrell and Peterson, I am a retired teacher, a mother of 5, and grandmother of 8. I was born and raised in Uvalde, Texas. I believe your take on what is happening in the minds of boys is right on the mark. I would like to see your message for boys treated as a series of public service announcements on all forms of media all across the world. I have no idea how to get that done, but surely there is someone out there who would donate production costs, someone who would approach all forms of media including music, television, movies, newspapers, magazines, video games, internet, social media, radio, and even classrooms - whatever is out there that will reach all people. There NEEDS to be a way to inform people about the root causes of this problem, red flag warnings that people can watch for, outlets for young men to reach for help. The information NEEDS to be all pervading!
Single parent households withought a male influence.
99% of serial killers had mums who mentally abused them.
Its always bad parenting
I admire your optimism but the key problem is that the people who control mass communication would never allow this to be disseminated widely because the basic assumptions would undermine their entire worldview, their narrative, and consequently their control over others.
Unfortunately, mr vulpine is correct. But, hope is not lost. Send it to everybody you know, and ask them to do the same. I send stuff like this to the extended family group chat. You could share on social as well, which I something I cannot do.
I’m afraid most people won’t watch something as long as this video, though everyone should. That’s why a series of short PSA’s would be so worthwhile.
@@janetgrahamtheberge4772 I've been toying with that sort of idea for a while. I wish many of our outstanding thinkers along the lines of Jordan, Thomas Sowell, Mike Rowe....all with positive messages that we are sorely in need of, would each contribute to a series of pamphlets- almost like tracts- that could be printed and published very cheaply. Then they could be made available en masse, so that people like us could purchase them cheaply and then distribute them liberally. Either in person or through the mail or at our churches or however. To read, borrow, and share. To have on hand to give to that person in the grocery line. I would also like the idea that they would be copyright free, with the sole purpose of getting the messages out to anyone that we can. To work against some of the horrible and insane messaging that people are up against right now.
I went through a horrific period of isolation, rage and anger about thirty five years ago. My thinking terrified me. I was in recovery for alcohol and drug abuse for about eight years, thought I was doing all the right things, yet I relapsed. I had the courage to seek help, but one of my greatest recovery tools was Warren Farrells' book, Why Men Are the Way They Are. It was of enormous assistance in my recovery. It also started me on a quest to understand and assist other men. Thank you Dr. Warren Farrell
Tell me... Were you thinking of violence and revenge?
Ordered the book. Thank you.
Prayers
Thank you for sharing your story! I welled up with emotion when I read it.
Alan, do not dwell on relapse . Eight years is good work. Get back to work. Be thankful you have the tools to get clean.
"The boy crisis resides where dads do not reside." Dad, you matter to your son more than you can possibly fathom.
Not if your dad is a butthead
As a guy in his early 30s who has had an “ok” relationship with his father, and also has sole custody of twins (boy and girl), I have learned an invaluable amount from these two geniuses! Thank you Dr P for everything you continue to do for young men around the world.
I don’t think people understand how incredibly lucky we are to have this man live in our lifetimes, AND give his information out for FREE!
Agree, agree, agree!!!
Couldn't agree more!
I'm tearing up at 1 hr 20 min. recalling how my father despised/neglected us, we were so afraid of this cruel man. Drs. Peterson and Farrell you are such wonderful men; your children are very blesst! God keep you both well!
Me too. It caused such suffering.
Aye, my friend. When Jordan mentioned lack of a single kind word or word of encouragement, I identified completely.
Me as well. Made me terrified of all men.
Did you ever discover what made him what he was? When I did, I had great pity & empathy. Pain begets pain. Truth breaks the chains.
@@lisaanderson5940 Opposite to you, mother was abusive, created abusive siblings and certainly affected my ability to like women.
The best thing my wife and I ever did was getting over ourselves, putting our differences aside to raise two healthy boys. The one thing we agreed on was that our marriage was best for everyone in the family. As a male teacher I've seen what these two gentlemen are talking about up close in high resolution as Doc P would say. Almost every single boy that was troubled came from a single parent home. There's a surprising amount of single dads as well and they too really struggle.
I respect what you said about you and your wife's decision to get over yourselves. When we make the decision to have children, everything we do moving forward has to be what's best for those children. Marriage is work and parenting with marriage is double the work, but if done right the reward is priceless.
@@thetruthhurts599 Sadly for too many people having children isn't a decision, it's a consequence.
Shut up
I like that you said the marriage was best for EVERYONE in your family…husband, wife, and your two sons♥️beautifully said
I too am a high school teacher. I too am a husband and a father of two boys. I too have noticed a trend of struggling boys who lack fathers in the home. It breaks my heart and I would add that the girls suffer equally. Religious support in the home seems to be paramount.
Beautiful how he refers to the kids as our ‘sons’ and ‘daughters’
My wife taught me about avoiding blame (not that we can always manage it) and I added 'keep it small'. It's been 2 key pieces of making progress on solving problems together instead of amplifying each others' frustration. Both techniques were mentioned here, and it was a relief to hear it's recognized in clinical settings.
I am a man who had a tough childhood and young adulthood. My father died when I was 10 years old. I nervously rocked my head (like an autistic) for many years and was a social outcast as a teen. Being a computer nerd in the 90's was not a good way to become popular. I was bullied quite terribly, but was a very talented fist-fighter so I wasn't abused as badly as other people I have met. That didn't make it easy to deal with. I was quite vengeful and honestly believed that my life was not going to get better. If it had not been for my couple of friends and my mother supporting me, I could have become vastly more destructive. Now, at 40, my life is much better. I still have my problems, but they are more manageable. I am glad that I had support and didn't do anything as a teenager that would have destroyed my life and others lives. Bullying is a huge part of U.S. culture. It should be illegal to attack your classmates. Not one teacher ever broke up a fight that I was in. It was like they didn't care. Wish I knew the solution for that problem. I think people would have to care about bullying in order to stop it. Also, excellent podcast. Thanks.
Yes ur lucky u have two friends some people actually have zero social life and whats the point of living if you cant meet that basic need. So you take it out with revenge in some school.
I was lucky. I only had 2 friends, but they were good ones. Saved my life many times.
True friends are rare and few in this day and age. Born in 1991, I assume (correct me if I'm wrong) it was easier in general to find true, lifelong friends back in the day. I've had many acquaintances my whole life, but friends I ain't so sure exactly. Maybe it's the times, maybe it's just me, or maybe that's just life. Either way I'm OK. Society and social media is serving me much better these days than before. I have all that I need, and then some I don't need exactly.
I was also bullied and it was pretty traumatic because as a single child of a single mother, I had a very agreeable personality as well as social ineptitude and a diagnosis with high functioning autism ( I try not to put too much emphasis on the latter), I literally had no idea what to do when people insulted me or hurt me, I would just stand there and take it, I would just freeze. I'm 25 now and have panic attacks, social anxiety. I'm trying my absolute best to not get stuck in self pity or comfort zones, I am in therapy and constantly trying to improve myself.
Personally I would say bullying should not be illegal because the beaurocrats would make it so that "touching" becomes a bad thing. Touching, and rough play, is crucial for kids. Sometimes it really looks like bullying, but it might not be, it depends entirely on the power relationships and the inner feelings going on. I don't think it's easy to just have a rule for bullying. Bullying can also be extremely subtle with verbal abuse and even just looking at someone in a certain way. If you suppress the physical aspect of bullying the bullying will just become more abstract and sophisticated.
@@clarkbruce_swe91 1982. Interestingly, the friends I had then are gone now. Although I miss them sometimes, I am glad that they were there for me when I needed them. I don't really have friends now, but I have my wife and child. And that works for me, because they are my 2 favorite people. As for lifelong friends, I've only my family. My wife and child, and my mom and step-dad. They have done things to me that have been rough sometimes, and I have done bad things to them too, but our bond of family makes us inseparable. Very thankful for my family, both the ones who chose me, and the ones I have chosen.
It's tragic to see that even though research shows that growing up in a solid family can potentially prevent a lot of different issues later on (in both personal life as well as in society), the "well-meaning" people meanwhile have been making a sport out of trying to destroy family values.
Unfortunately, we are now experiencing the consequences of that.
Some of those "well-meaning" people were the National Organization for Women, and one of its *3 times elected* board members was Warren Farrell.
This statement is so vague it’s basically dog whistling to mean whatever you want.
@@harbingertheheretic3541 Okay, good observation, but I'm having trouble figuring out what the conclusion is to such an observation within such a circumstance. (But what does this mean?)
The destruction of the solid family unit suits an agenda
@@markw5170 Huh, I suppose I am confused by the fact that it appears that this Warren character is on the side of "solid family unit" and not against it.
Dr. Peterson, I think you nailed it when you said how unsophisticated it was not to have self-control.
This is absolutely one of the best discussions I have heard on your channel, Dr. P! As a father to a 4 year old daughter and a 9 month old son, so much of my waking hours are taken up with thinking and worrying about how to be a positive role model and force in their lives. This discussion will be one that I listen to often and critically thank you so much for what you do!
agree
Men and women are different and they have different needs in life. Mens needs aren't being met. They are being lied to from the moment they are born by the first world, by everyone. Their needs aren't being met and they are suffering in life in ways women and girls aren't. But because they are men they are invisible. In our culture we are obsessed with loving and protecting the girls and going on and on about how all women are victims and patriarchy. But mens issues are invisible to the world. We don't care about them. Even though ironically when the boys suffer indirectly it causes the women to suffer! Men are invisible and unloved and lied to all their lives. And they know it.... there is a reason males commit suicide at higher rates them women. But no one cares :D And they know it too. The west is destroying itself. The liberals in higher education and systems are so brain washed so out of touch with reality they are destroying our boys and dont even comprehend they are doing it! It is madening.
If a man commits a mass shooting. Everyone cries oh he was an Incel... HES the problem. Not society. He was evil... he is going to hell. Because its always the mans fault. Men always are at fault and are forced to man up and take the blame and responsibility for everything. Its cultural.
I bet you.. that if women commited a mass shooting and it became national news. Everyone would be arguing that she is a victim and asking what it was that brought her over the edge to bring her to do such heinous acts. They wouldnt shame her and laugh at her as an incel.
We live in a society that shames men and demonizes them and laughs at them. It is so normal that we dont even notice it or bat an eye lash at it. But if the roles were reversed everyone would cry sexism and abuse! When your a male and abused and suffering all your life and lied to about it. When your invisible That you dont matter, that you arent a victim. Treated like a problem. Like a wallet or a machine, like a worker with no soul or emotions or pain. And meanwhile only girls are victims. And all men are predators. Treated like your a predator by society because you were born with a Dk. As if that wouldn't break a person or cause them to go crazy or commit suicide? Society doesnt care. It doesn't listen or empathize with men. It empathizes with women and loves and protects women, but not men. It is a cultural issue. And there are so many women who hate men and take their anger out on men and hurt men and who do those men have to turn to? no one. They dont have social support networks like women. They dont have armies of simps online validating them online and giving them attention. They are invisible when it comes to social media unless you are rich or successful popular. But women all they have to do is be beautiful and they get all the attention be it in real life or on social media. They KNOW this and learn it at a young age. And they are taught men are predators and the problem all their lives ontop of it. Oh its incels thats the problem! they are all devil worshiping incels! People are so simple minded it is absurd. The conclusions they come to. Every single time..
And to make maters worse testosterone levels are low due to the chemicals in our environment which is further screwing these boys up in life.....
Another fact is that vaccines are toxic and deadly and cause autism. The reason autism is rising in boys is because the blood brain barrier in men is thinner then in women. So women aren't being damaged at the same rate as boys by these vaccines. The more vaccinated a populace is the higher their autism rates. Look at south korea.... they have the highest average IQ in the world but their autism rates are rising exponentially. Gee I wonder why? and its only boys affected by that. Girls blood brain barrier is stronger so they are protected from this. If it was affecting girls maybe people would care and do something about it... idk.
Good for you.
I know for me. My family had money, but wasn't happy.
I sure wish we would have traveled more, and gone out to more museums, plays, parks, etc.
Go out to new places, and do fun things!
I raised 4 kids (1 girl and 3 boys) from pre schoolers to adulthood, as a single Mum, without any help from the Father whatsoever (in fact he did a lot to damage us for a long time). I’d like to say that in addition to a child having no father, this child gets a “good enough mother” but a stressed, tired and often unavailable mother. Instead of a tribe with plenty of available adults the child now only has ‘half of one whole parent’. There is also a degree of trauma bonding in many single parent families. This is also one of the reasons the woman makes empathic choices instead of enforced boundary choices, in addition to natural selection favouring this tendency in women for human history. When faced with opportunities for either the hard lessons in life to be applied, I did in fact very often (but not always) opt for empathy and “The single encouraging word”. I made a conscious choice in this because life had already dealt my kids many hard life lessons and I felt the scales were already tipped against them- the reality of poverty of input and low socioeconomic status). I chose not to berate them in adolescence about all the things that were wrong with them but rather encourage and build their self esteem, especially maintaining their mental health. I focused on their social skills and matching their career choices to their personalities, self awareness and maintaining the family bonds. Most importantly I believe I became the person they could trust and I became the benchmark of how they could expect to be treated by others. I was also conscious of not overly taking the smother mother and angry woman role in order to not adversely affect the boys Oedipal crises in adulthood. Did it work? It was a bumpy ride for sure but they all were able to negotiate adulthood and find partners and true friends. I believe it did increase their success despite it not being optimal. (not that I was sure at the time). My daughter is a highly qualified nurse, the boys finished trades in electrical and carpentry and the youngest who is about to become a police officer, and probably suffered most, introduced me to you Jordan! You made a huge difference in his life when he was most at risk. So thanks Jordan, from this single Mum who spent her life being the best she could be in difficult circumstances of knowing she could never be all that her kids needed.
Much love mom💫♥️♥️ very encouraging...
I am in the same boat. As a single mother, I am aware of the fact that I need to use some of my masculine traits to guide my son through adolescence. When things get hard, I always tell my son that this is the hero's journey. You can do hard things. I balance empathy with enforcing boundaries. Well done on raising your kids.
@@fighting5706 🙏 thank you.
@@hope1416 Don't over do it. Its bad for a mother to take on a father's role.
@@hope1416 same to you Hope, thanks. You have a great attitude and grasping mythology and psychology also helped me throughout those years too. Long before I had ever heard of Jordan I understood Oedipal complexes and Narcisuss and his mother. I believe it’s really important to let our boys know the things we love about men too. I used my time with my boys to self reflect on that a lot.
You've been life changing Dr Peterson. I thank God for your work and for allowing me to discover it. I'm sharing all your lectures to the people I love. So thank you sir.
@@jackybogues2495 you ok?
Except I'm not doing it for attention. Dr Peterson is like a father figure for most young men. I'm simply just grateful.
I sincerely recommend watching his videos instead of just trolling the comment section. In bitterness
@@jackybogues2495 what kind of idiot says keep your comments to yourself with a comment? Hypocrisy is something most people understand by the time they experience lectures of mental strength. Congrats on being lost in a Forrest and making it obvious you are not.
@@jackybogues2495 smfd too if acronyms are the only way you can communicate. Btch
@@jackybogues2495 You are telling others to keep their opinion to themselves, yet you are happy to give your judgmental opinion at the same time. Isn't that a little hypocritical of you ?
As a male primary school teacher (teaching 9-10 year olds), I find that single mothers who are particularly overprotective of their children (like mother grizzly bear, id compare them to) produce some of the most troubled boys. These mothers have often experienced abusive and destructive relationships with a male partner (often the child's father) and as a result are highly suspicious and hostile to anyone that is found to criticise or discipline their child. One of these children literally told me, "You teachers are the same. You control us kids. You abuse us." When asked what he meant by abuse and to give examples he has seen in class, he was unable to respond. I know for sure that these mothers are teaching their kids to distrust teachers or people in positions of authority. It's so delusional and upsetting to see a child being misguided and at such an early age.
Some teachers are abusing kids by trying to indoctrinate them into gender ideology and the LGBT cult though sondistrust in teacher depending on the teacher is not always misguided.
@@Opal5674 what you say is true in some cases. Fortunately for me, I'm very much opposed to current leftist agenda and do not teach, nor am I required to teach such agendas. In the case I was speaking on, it was unrelated to do with any sort of indoctrination. It was just purely being in school and being educated. I do not consider my current school to be particularly politically inclined in any way, although they are a little too focused on inclusivitiy for my personal taste.
Watching Peterson over the years has been life-changing for me. He made me realize my value as a man in society. I was in a depressed state and had issues with attracting the people I wanted to have in my life. I'm so lucky to have a group of friends who have stuck with me since high school and have supportive parents who are still married after 40 years. I knew I wanted better for myself and at 32 I went back to college for a career change, took up new hobbies, and made more friends. I transformed my wardrobe. I just graduated college for the second time and now I'm the first person in my family who is going for a University degree and I've become more successful with dating. Thank you for giving me purpose Peterson.
25 minutes into this and I have to say this should be seen everywhere. Amazing lecture.
Edit: just finished the whole thing and I can confirm what I was saying....Jordan Peterson always delivers
They blame violent video games in the first five minutes.
I’m 5 minutes into meat after introductions and already think so too. Amazing
@@AL-lh2ht Warren is speaking to theories of what could be causing such a crisis in young men. He says “we look at violent video games” as one of such theories. Almost immediately after he says that young women are exposed to many of the same stimuli so it couldn’t fully explain the phenomenon.
@@Dylan-le7gl ...thanks, mate.
It's still always irritating to me how people obviously don't even try to listen (not to mention understanding), but instantly spill hate.
@@AL-lh2ht Just mentioning violent video games is not the same as blaming violent video games. I've listened to nearly the full hour and 52 minutes and he only discusses it for a couple of minutes (maybe 5% of the time).
I'm currently seeking "help" and let me tell you it seems like an endless process of just being handed off from one incompetent to another. Really wondering where anyone is able to actually get help that isn't just getting drugged or locked away.
I have been through the same thing. Help is only there when you can afford $80 na hour fees...
I'm not even part of a religion and in the past I've been even more atheistic but if you want that help for "free" you might want to go to a Christian church and talk to the people there. You don't even have to become religios and they might still be able to help you a lot
I don’t think anyone knows how to care anymore.
been through the same thing , i live in south east asia where its even harder to find a competent therapist that understand real psychology not pseudo ones. i ended up the one that more knowledgable than the therapists. for now i just resorts to self help books and podcasts
Not religious either, but don’t lose hope, brother! Good on you for being self-aware enough to seek help. Just that fact, shows me you are looking for answers and that very fact puts you in a better place than most, who don’t seek any answers but only looking for places to put the blame. Peace be with you and hang in there. You’re on the right path (which is better than no path at all).
Mad Respect to both these men
These videos should be mandatory in schools and for aspiring parents! So grateful to have amazing people like these considering the social climate we have
Being in a position to be able to speak towards a generation, for the betterment and uplifting of their spirit in the way Jordan Peterson does is my dream. As a young male who's been in the darkness and by God is coming out of it, I greatly admire what you've done
Do you want to know a horrific truth?
@@squeakypistonproductions2228 do you?
@@atlasfeynman1039 Sure. However I cant imagine anything worse than the truth I know.
@@squeakypistonproductions2228 Perhaps your imagination is limited or maybe you don't really know what you think you know?
@@atlasfeynman1039 Because genes deterioriate either half of everyones children die as infants or everyone grows up to be mentally and physically ill. So Ill that they stop re-producing until the medical infracture that keeps our children alive fails and most people die as children for a while. Eventually society resets. Modern medicine is re-invented and the cycle continues. Gene therapy would break the cycle but populations and infrastructure take too long to re-build to obtain that technology. This will be the story of humanity.
Thank God for that young man's moment of clarity. I honestly feel he should not be charged, since he stopped himself instead of carrying out what would have been a terrible tragedy.
Warren Farrell wrote the best ever book addressing what's happened between men and women, The Myth of Male Power. I love JP's work and it's great to see them together.
The most earnest tones and expressions of admission I've ever heard from teen boys was given to coaches who taught them regulation. Many boys on course for a criminal life at my high school were reorientrd by the wrestling coach who took no crap and taught fair fierce competition. He also had run a six minute mile with a 100lb. field pack on in Vietnam. He deserved admiration.
As a young father I appreciate this video a lot. Thank you to you both!
I just finished listening to Rule 8, and I don’t think anyone’s words have ever cut me so deeply, placed such a great burden on me, and yet simultaneously filled me with so much hope, vision for who I could be, and a desire to do better. Thank you so much.
Dr. Peterson I'm commenting because I feel compelled to tell you that I've been watching your videos and listening to your lectures for about a year and everytime I listen to one it only strengthens my appreciation for the wisdom you offer. I've recently gone through big change in my life. One thats an improvement but still one that will take a lot of work to adapt too. Suddenly everything I've learned from you about chaos and order has become extremely relevant to my success. This just continues reinforces my initial interpretation of someone like you manifesting at this point in my character development as synchronistic, and of course its not just for me but for the many in our Era who struggle with coming to grips with an increasingly chaotic society. Finally, I'd just like to add that you're looking and sounding better and healthier than ever. You project the energy of someone who's recently been reinvigorated in his sense of purpose. I love it. I wish you many more years of health and prosperity.
I love how Jordan has his entire kitchen behind him, he doesn't give a UCK and I love that about him, humble dude and a legend
As a proud mom of an 18 yo son, it makes me so sad to hear that young men lack so much encouragement. I wish I could take them all in! Thank you for this.
I am 18 too and do not have a dad as one would need. Thank you for your message and for being a father 👍
As a boy who was fatherless and aimless I wish i would have joined the navy and made a career out of it there needs to be more outlets and things to guide boys before they reach their most vulnerable times before 13 or 14 it starts earlier than dating and all that we need to guide our young men and give them purpose and an identity and selfworth
It's not too late. You're typing on the wonderful internet...how fabulous you would have seemed to anyone a generation ago...military person or otherwise, lol!
You just watched top gun didnt you?
@@josevanreyes no my Grandpa served in Korea and ive always been fascinated with ships
There is no purpose in regretting what you did not do years ago, my man. Do l’on linger on regrets and do what is possible now!
@@josevanreyes 🥇
I'm a marriage and family studies major and everything they are saying is so on point!! Politicians need to listen to what they are saying and create policies and programs that focus on strengthening the family. Way to go florida poloticans for setting the example. Praying for others to catch on and stop addressing symptoms.
Govt thrives & expands on societal chaos & mayhem. Never ever believe Politicians dont know exactly what causes the violence and cultural decay.
All men and young men should hear this. Thank you both!
The world needed this to be talked about thank-you
Great that you have dr. Farrell again! He's an extremely important figure for current times.
Yes he is. He was a board member of the National Organization for Women, one of the feminist groups that helped to create the problem that he is using to enrich himself now by pretending to care about men/boys in the general public.
Not really
He really should be heard by more people, especially the people "who have power". His research and approach is valuable. People who say otherwise need to disprove his claim scientifically and not just base arguments off emotion or just saying "not really".
Thank you gentlemen. Tell the North Carolina court system that fathers MUST be in their sons lives. Wish I could show this to the judge!!
I will need to rewatch this a couple more times to absorb all the parenting tips. Thank you Dr. Peterson and Dr. Farrell.
Jordan, you often talk about men that say you have been influential to them in their journey towards manhood and responsibility but honestly, for me, you've been the most influential for me with how I father my two young boys. Praise God for you man, we need you. Keep talking!
The world needs more guys like him and Matt Walsh.
@@CreativeUsernameEh what's wrong with Matt Walsh?
They are gonna be the last of their kind The men Society is making now are gonna be way way different due to Women empowerment/ to phones/ access to information etc. Then when these men where growing up. Probably gonna lead to caos. Society is not creating strong men and it's gonna destroy this country once the older generation dies
Weird comparison. I'd choose Jordan Peterson over Matt Walsh any day, even though I do like Walsh as well.
more like Jordan peterson and Andrew huberman
@@CreativeUsernameEh Well said! Walsh points out the obvious excesses of the left.
Peterson investigates the deepest aspects of the human psyche and spirit.
How many incredible insights on how to raise boys! One of my favorite interviews conducted by JP so far (and I've seen a lot of them). Thank you Dr. Peterson, for finding so many wise people for us whose voices need to be heard in this generation.
I’m in my late fifties and as usual in my life I always find the truth and advice I dearly needed way too late, like playing a game and losing only to find out the rules that would have helped after the game. I will try to make your advice available to my son and hope he at least can put them to good use.
Hahah, I'm 22 and I feel like I will have many of those moments if I make it to my fifties.
What I’d give to have a 20 minute talk with Dr. Jordan Peterson
Look for... for real dude 🙌
There are a lot of men and women who are knowledgeable and caring. If you really look for them. The older pastor of a church, a priest, a Christian or catholic counselor. Be aware that not all of these people are caring and thoughtful and some are not even good. But if you plan who you want to talk to, write out the requirements you need to see in a person you can trust, then identify them when you interview them before you talk to them. There are people who can help…who WANT to help. And that you can trust.
I would love for him to open up a clinical psychology school and be able to teach others to help people like he did, and hire other like-minded professors to do the same (because I'm sure there's no way he could handle that all on his own). The mental health crisis is spiraling out of control and we need more Jordan Petersons out there in the field now more than ever.
There was a time I desperately needed someone like him too. The first person I put my guard down with ended up going to jail for hurting people. The second took me on a spiritual path that was completely counter to what I wanted. And others followed in same manner. My point is - every person you will ever encounter has limitations. So what is there to do? Jesus. Human and divine. That’s been my experience. (I tell my own loved ones - there’s a limit to what I can do for you. Develop a relationship with Jesus)
Scott Adams was saying today, there is a new computer that talks, he thinks it is conscious. And that the computer should sit down, talk to Jordan Peterson.
“A government that is allowed to break the law during an emergency will create an emergency in order to break the law.” And make no mistake, gun regulation is breaking the law.
I’ve quoted this quite a bit lately but it’s just so fitting. We’ve let them get away with so much, they’re not even scared to do it anymore
@Jay Gee I don’t know if he sees it
of course!!!! every 18 year old should be allowed to carry AR-15. THAT IS THE LAW DERP DERP DERP DERP!!!!
@UCmMgDAvEDQKmSL15v-DYXKA You mean this comment or the others? Because OP said nothing about conspiracy theories. Just legalities according to constitution.
Depends what kind of gun regulation. Besides, here in Europe we have gun regulation and somehow everything is just fine.
@@ten_tego_teges Train bombings, grenade attacks, trucks plowing through Christmas markets. Just fine
I love it when you guys get together and speak about this critical subject that needs desperate attention yet continues to be ignored by the intelligentsia and politicos, which are really just ambassadors for oligarchs bent on bringing about this brave new world. It's the epitome of the 500lbs pink elephant in the room. I cherish these discussions, thank you Dr. Peterson and Dr. Farrell.
this is one of the best talks i’ve ever heard. 7 months pregnant and i wish every mother in the world could / would listen to this.
This has to be one of my favourite episodes. Thank you for this.
One example of this gender difference in parenting was very clear to me. Last year, our 14-year-old son had missed his train stop home and went on to the next station to see what would happen and couldn’t get out. He called me (mum) for advice and help. I prepared to go and pay for the extra ticket and pick him up from the station. I consulted my husband at work in the same town as my son was stuck, who absolutely is a great and loving father, immediately said, “Ah, tell him how to figure out his own way home.” I felt awful but told my son he must find his way home. My son did get home and he never took the wrong exit again.
What wisdom my husband had, I think, that did not even cross my empathetic maternal mind!
My first time walking home from school I turned 2 blocks early into a subdivision with them winding roads like my sister always took and it added another hour to my walk but when I got home mom scolded me for making her worry then her and dad took me to the right road to show me but needless to say I didn't make a wrong turn agein
I think at least some of the problem is how boys are treated in school. I remember every teacher I ever had made it seem like high school was the most important thing and if you didn't do well, you'd be a looser your entire life. It seemed as if, the world would treat you the same way you were treated in High School. This is just not true and you don't find this out until you've been out of High School for a while. I saw many people bloom after High School. I saw many popular kids, athletes, and people who were considered attractive go straight to hell after High School. Some of them ending up in low paying jobs, on drugs, even in prison. Being a super star in High School doesn't guarantee you anything in life. Your life really doesn't even begin until you leave High School. You're just a kid until that point. By all means take your education seriously but High School isn't what is going to determine what your life is going to be. Kids need to know this. All the teachers I ever had definitely made it seem like the opposite was true.
Schools are not designed well for child to be a child
That's because nowadays any idiot can become a highschool teacher. For most, teaching wasn't their first choice. They failed at pursuing their goals and settled for teaching, that's why it is one of the most mediocre careers in existence today. Most of them are resentful and have no incentive whatsoever to help kids develop. Quite the opposite, it seems as if they're just trying to make kids as mediocre as them.
@@JoaoCosta-ly1sw agree🎯
@@proudatheist2042 I don't think anyone is suggesting that someone shouldn't graduate High School. I'm only pointing out that every High School teacher I had displayed an attitude like it was the most important thing a person would do on their life and if you're a winner in High School you'll always be a winner. If you're a loser in High school you'll always be a loser. They help to put pressure on young men that is unnecessary. They make young men feel like there's nothing they can do to improve their situation in life. I never once heard a teacher tell the kid that was always getting picked on not to worry that your popularity in High School doesn't really mean anything in the real world. Most of the time, from what I saw, the teacher only made it worse. Of course I went to school in a different era. Maybe things have improved. I would suggest the evidence says it's not getting better, it's gotten worse.
@@JoaoCosta-ly1sw The way you just described what I've always sensed growing up is phenomenal. Most of the teachers I saw are borderline child-hating psychotics who love to take out their repressed resentment onto the next generation. Schoolteaching is a parasitic profession, and they don't "educate", they sort, classify, demean, belittle, mock and fear monger. Got to keep the next generation of mentally damaged corporate and government lemmings in their place so they don't rise up beyond themselves. A bunch of envious lames who love to humiliate kids and they only care about their paychecks, not each individual kids future. Reading, writing and math can be learned better, I think, from family instruction and the child's personal, quiet, uninterrupted discovery of new texts and equations of THEIR OWN CHOICE. passing multiple choice exams makes you a good mentally fragmented office clerk until retirement, learning how to get your hands dirty in arts, trades and crafts at a very young age actually matures a kid quickly. When we read what we love, we grow fond of reading. When reading is shoved down our throat so a parasite can get paid, we learn to associate reading, writing and math with misery and abuse. Ever since modern cultures removed traditional family labor from kids lives, we have been stunting, softening and retarding our kids for over a hundred years or so, at least ever since Horace Mann of Massachusetts introduced this Prussian school system to a once free Republic (of the United States).
My father died when I was only 2 and nothing could replace him. I agree with everything you say and will spend my life defending males who we have no idea how much we need. God bless you both for bringing attention the the crisis our sons, brother, and fathers are suffering through at the hands of the insane people in power.
Good man, Robin. You have your heart in the right place. Men are important! And amazing! I can’t believe I’m even writing that.
@@mudcast Even better, I'm female and I'm defending men. Modern women do not appreciate their men because men have given us an infrastructure that allows we women to think we can do without men. 1 week without power would lead to a much greater appreciation of our men.
@@robinlandry6 I hope you are happy in life. Thank you.
@@mudcast I am thank you. I’ve overcome the feminist brainwashing to get to get to a place where I can appreciate the men in my life. Kevin Samuels is also a gift to women if they can listen to what he has to say.
I lost my father at 22 and I still feel like I’ve missed out on so much by not having him here.
Man, you know, he will always be with you. I had similar loses in my own life. You are not alone, brother. Stay strong and have trust in yourself and what he had teached you in those years.
My heart is with you brother, please keep your chin up and make him proud.
I'm 23 now, and I lost my father to suicide at 15. I'm only just now feeling like my old self again. That void you feel, that empty feeling; I understand completely how you feel. And I'm sorry you have to join this "club" so soon.
God Speed, my friend.
HAPPY MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH! THANK YOU BOTH FOR ALL THE WORK YOU DO. HUGE GRATITUDE!
Everyday should be men's and women's health awareness
Really?🤠
Boy u better shut up bout to get me robbed out here
Watching from the Philippines 🇵🇭 Last June 12th my husband and I celebrated our 4th year kidney transplant anniversary. I was his donor. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade a thing for that decision, seeing him taking care and disciplining our boys aged 10 and 6 means the world to me. He listened to this talk awhile ago. Thank you Dr. Peterson and Dr. Farrell. Belated Happy Birthday as well. Glad we share important dates though we’re worlds apart-June 12th.
Wow. That’s powerful. Made me happy that someone does exist that would do such a thing.
This is 2 hours EVERYONE needs to know yet no one is taught.
Thank you both !!
I truly appreciate the two of you delving into this. I'm trying my best to be a decent Dad. This was encouraging.
Just reading these words gives me hope for the future of our society. I am sure you will be a great dad
Thank you for being the man to say these words. Please, let the ones who need to hear them be able to. And please, if you’re suffering, you’re not alone. Talk to someone. God bless 🇺🇸 🙏🏼💜 JP you look so healthy and sound better than ever.
Yes
❤
@@ruthanne6729 dressed sharp too
Just read the intro to Boy Crisis this morning. This is impeccable timing, Dr Peterson. Looking forward to hearing more.
That book should be taught in school
Two of my favourite modern thinkers together, digging at the core issues of the day. This is bliss.
We need eloquent and sharp witted men such as yourselves to continue speaking up for young men and boys... thank you very much
Kids needs to learn how to help other people. Give them a purpose in life to be a good person. Let them visit elderly homes and make them feel important by helping others at an very early age. Make them part of the community🤲♥️
That's an excellent point. I spent a lot of time with my Nan - generally helping her but mainly, accidentally, learning. She taught me how to chop wood for the fire, make simple meals, bake cakes, look after the garden, etc. I'm hindsight she taught me how to be content with very little money. There's a huge gap between the old and young these days and lots of life experience not being passed on.
How to help boys is giving them responsibility. Like what my parents did for me at age 12. They told me i was a man now, i felt purpose in my life and carried those big responsibilities as a man should and been trusted by them felt great. Having good teachers around me,who cared for my well being and giving me structure in my life. It takes a village to raise a young man.
why be good for the sake of it when it's never reciprocated and i get nothing out of it? nothing but lies that set men for foolishness and failure.
@@kubasniak ...to be at ease to not feel frustrated to feel valued to have a function. A beautiful car without a motor has no purpose it is just a shell.
As a mother of a 10 year old boy I worry about the teenage years.
Thank you for this first class conversation.
A
Try to find a positive male role model for him.
This is the conversation we need to be having on a broader scale if we ever want to solve this mass shooting crisis.
When I (72 female) watch this all I can think about is sitting on my bed at @30 - 50 wishing I were male so I could roam around the world and be accepted and safe! The grass IS always greener!🌾
You're a hero JP!
I really do love how the deepest of truths are simple - simple enough to “prove” in a 17 minutes Disney Pixar collaboration.
Wow! Two of my heroes on the same podcast having a most intelligent conversation on a very important relevant topic! This is heaven.
I think a lot of this discussion has merit. It’s incredibly how the book on young men saved his life and many others. Both of you are doing great work. Thank you.
I'm a shop steward under teamsters local 630 of Los Angeles..the board was pushing for gun control. I was the only one to stand up for our rights and explained why history does not bode well for the people whose leaders stripped their population of arms. I told them to read the gulag archipelago, and to also look at the fact that all these shooters are typically fatherless and have a drug/mental problem. The whole building was quiet as I spoke and the board was nervous..you cannot be afraid to speak even if you are alone. Thank you Dr. Peterson for teaching me how to collect my thoughts and express them clearly. I hope me saying what I had to say at least got some gears go start turning..
I had a dark fantasy of committing a mass shooting when I was 19 - 20. I was working in a place where I dint want to be and right before My shift ended, I had a very vivid imagining of committing a mass shooting against women specifically because they claimed my life easy, I don’t own any gun but I know I can get my hands on one and doesn’t take much to think of a place heavily populated all that stoped me was the thought of my mother, older sister and younger brother.
Thinking of going to back to school and becoming a physiologist or electrical engineer.
Those fantasies arise because of a lack of love bro. When you learn to love yourself unconditionally, you’ll stop caring about what others think, what they do, what obstacles you face, how or why people scheme against you, etc. You’ll also become healthier, more attractive, build muscle faster, get ill less and generally feel much less negative emotion.
Self love. That’s it. That’s the answer.
you are a WINNER, We all have our demons and you my friend just conquered yours.
Hang in there man try to find some type of activity that takes your mind off of things...I use to be this cynical and lost but once I started practicing my piano I felt as if a massive burden was removed from my shoulders. Blessings keep your self in a good mental state and try writing all your thoughts on a diary / journal.
@@117Industries Sounds like bullshit platitudes but ok
I would have gladly slaughtered every last one of my school teachers if I had access to a gun. I'm a different man now but I'm intimately familiar with my shadow.
I was heading into this expecting a very uncomfortable discussion, but I am glad I listened. This is very important information and may yet improve our society.
I suppose I have integrated my shadow for a long time now.
I am a woman but I was so blessed to have amazing parents who were cohesive & patient. My mother had me when she was 40 years old so my parents were older than all of my friends parents (dad was 32 when I was born). But I was so grateful of that because my parents had fully matured & were ready for the sacrifices of raising a child. They were definitely not rich, much closer to poverty on the spectrum. But I always had everything I needed, but not everything I wanted.
They are both still with me today. I appreciate every moment I have with them as they are aging quickly. But I wouldn't trade them for any parents in the world, flaws & all.
Yes!! More of this please .. and let’s teach the children to pay more attention to their emotions so they can learn to take responsibility for their feelings
Love you Dr Peterson. I lost my dad at the end of 2017 and I found your work shortly after. You have become a father figure to me, and for that I will be eternally grateful. God bless
My pleasure and privilege sir.
@@JordanBPeterson your reply means the world sir. I’m coming to one of your talks in September so I will show you this comment in my 15 seconds with you. I wish you and your family happiness and health sir, you have saved more of us than you will ever know. ❤️
Dr Peterson is a gift to the world. Not many things hurt me more than seeing him being attacked unfairly
@@mauropedrosa7317 couldn’t agree more. He’s a wonderful man and the one we so badly need in current times
Warren is truely a gem. I first saw him in the red pill documentary. Would love to see him again soon on your show! So much insight!
Truly excellent. This topic should be taught at schools and maybe introduce parent classes.
I am a wife and mother of two young girls, which might technically make me the demographic that would benefit least from a conversation about the problems facing young men, but on the contrary, I think women, especially those raising daughters, will gain a great deal from understanding what motivates men and boys and leads to successful relationships. The topic of the societal crisis afflicting our boys is crucial to everyone.
That's nice :) .., I'd like to chat with you here under the comment section by asking first a question. How would you end male violence ?
Wouldn’t matter. They will chose the highest status men. You will not find me any population that would marry a homeless man. In the other hand men are more than willing to marry homeless as long as the age range is 18-29 and not obese.
@@TankTheSpank oh that's actually true. I too would have no qualms dating a homeless girl. I'd take her to rehab first if she has drug issues or something.. a bit of therapy and even me caring for her and then woala :) got myself a companion to share and build strong bonds with.
I benifited so much from this as a young, unmarried woman.
This is really crucial to understanding men, boys.
@@agathachris9722 Hey.. Im single :3 Would u like to chat with me online?
As a young women, this topic saddens me to a great degree especially that I have many male siblings in my life. I can't even put to words how important having great male figures in both boys & women's lives is! I wouldn't trade millions of dollars in return for my male family members that after the grace God, helped me become the secure and confident woman I am today. I learned how to negotiate, set boundaries and be more assertive from them. For this reason and many more, I've been very careful in choosing a male partner because I want him to be a great role model for my future sons (God willing) and daughter. I realized the importance of positive male influence, and am trying my best to build that space in the future. For all the men out there, just know that your presence in people's lives are greatly appreciated. Your masculine energy IF harvested and channeled in the right direction, is a blessing to the world. If you ever feel worthless, know that there are woman out there that will appreciate you for your noble traits. A man's power lies in his gentleness. Cheers for men on your noble path & I wish for you the best!
You are a single mother?
@@nathanlacy5622 She has no children yet, from what I understand. Is vetting mates from the stance of finding someone who would be a good father to possible sons and daughters. („Future sons…“ were her words)
To OP. I agree wholeheartedly. I also had a wonderful father who helped me mature into a self-assured woman and still have a fabulous brother, husband and son. My marriage wasn’t always easy but so glad my husband and I sorted out our petty differences to put our boy’s well-being first. The masculine presence in his life has been very important. Not only from his father, but from my brother - his uncle - and my brother’s boys. When you have children, you have to suppress your ego and do what is necessary for them. That crucible of adaptation forms your character and if you see it through, you emerge a better person. And it goes without saying that your children do too.
She is a single mother to her daughter who would probably end up a single mother. Sounds like she learnt the lesson too late, she said future sons and slid in the part she is a single mother that most you you missed. Why not just say future children if she didn't already have one.
Some of your points are valid. But you exhibit the unfortunate trait of some women of imagining that YOU as a woman have the authority to lecture men on what they should and shouldn't be. Who on earth are you, that you believe you can lecture men on what the "right direction" of their masculine energy should be? What is your authority? Would you accept if men told YOU what the "right direction" of your feminine should be? No, of course you wouldn't. You obviously need to think and reflect more carefully about masculinity before you lecture men!
You nailed it talking about the problem of absent Dads. That is a huge problem with our inner city crime.
I wasn’t sure what to expect from this conversation, but it’s helping me gain a broader perspective.
I will ALWAYS be grateful to God and my parents, especially my father and the uncles I had in my life growing as a kid in Nigeria. The discipline and structure they drilled into me helped ensure I grew up into a well adjusted adult man.
You are blessed, never forget to teach that.
Will be rewatching this with the wife and teenage son. There are so many incredible/beautiful lessons in this. Thank you for another great source of intelligence.
Both of you are such a blessing and as a mother of three boys, two adults and one minor, It is so important for moms to understand the role that the fathers have for their sons. Mothers can give love and encourage them but dads are very much needed for discipline, boundaries and being a part of their education. My husband has that role down very well and I keep am there for them in other areas of parenting . He has a lot of dad and son time with them and he is the head of our home and we all respect him greatly. Raised in our neighborhood church and my eldest son leads a Bible study with his friend for college age young adults.
I passed this along to both of my sons. My eldest has bought for us tickets to Dr. Peterson's upcoming lecture in Hamilton.
Both of you are great examples for young men. We’ll figure it out. Always have, always will thanks to wise leaders like yourselves
There are so many gems in this conversation. I've had to listen to it a few times. The vital importance of fatherhood and the establishment of a masculine standard, the fantasized realities of these young men that we also saw in the character Joker, and just the notion of fantasy feeding. Evagrius of Ponticus discusses how these negative thoughts intrude into our mind and fester as logismoi (λογισμοι). The way they are entertained is like an illness that spreads from the soul through mental action to the body and manifests outwardly in behavior. This is one of the best, most useful conversations I've heard in a while.
Man....The more I listen to this man, the more the tears and regret build up in me. Jesus...I need therapy...
Happy Birthday Dr. Peterson! Your work continues to benefit mine and so many peoples lives. Thank you.
This was such a multi-dimensional conversation. My wife and I both enjoyed this so much! Thank you, gentlemen.
Thank you for having this conversation and making it available to the public.
I LOVE that he brought up the importance of family dinner time. Even single moms and dads can make that a priority, and it will have such a big impact over the long run of a child’s life 💕