HOW THE NARCISSIST SEES YOU
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- Опубліковано 17 чер 2024
- #narcissist #narcissisticabuse The narcissist doesn't see people as people. Understanding how the narcissist sees us can help us realize how little we are losing when take the difficult steps of leaving a narcissist or distancing ourselves from the relationship.
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Here is contact information for when immediate help with abuse or self harm is needed. It is recommended that you use a computer or phone that your abuser cannot monitor:
Emergency: 911
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Crisis Text Line: Text "DESERVE" TO 741-741
Lifeline Crisis Chat (Online live messaging): suicidepreventionlifeline.org...
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
www.ywca.org/what-we-do/domes...
YWCA - 202-467-0801
Canadian Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511
UK National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 0808 2000 247
South Africa POWA: 011 642 434/6
Australia: 1-800-RESPECT
It's not that the narcissist can't find good people. It's that they have to project their ill feelings, ultimately about themselves, onto the other person. You are not allowed to be good. If they allow you to be good, that means they must be less than.
I think ppl need too realize that not only do they not see or hear you .. they think totally different than we do
This video is spot on. With the narcissist, today you can be the hero, and tomorrow you’ll be the zero - and that will cycle repeatedly over the years with them.
Sadly, I realized that I've been married 12 years to this user & abuser. He abruptly left in May to shack up with the secretary from his work. I didn't see it coming, he was still leaving me love notes daily before work. They know exactly what they are doing & it's evil 😈
I tried so hard to convince myself that my ex was not a Narcissist but this video describes her almost perfectly, it's scary ...
Good job! They also like to isolate people so they can have better control of people.
No wonder I saw that peculiar drunken look on his face just a few weeks into the relationship. And he told me he was "addicted" to me.
I didn't know what to think. On one hand, it was somewhat flattering, but on the other, I was starting to feel like I was in over my head. I was not really comfortable because it was an odd remark I could not entirely brush off.
So the next week I said I felt addicted to him, but I didn't mean it. I just said it because I thought I was supposed to. Actually, I was starting to feel lost.
Another word to watch out for is the word "special.". If someone new tells you that you make them feel special, or that the relationship is special, it's time to back off, at very least. Narcissists love feeling "special" far more than normal people, and they may actually use that word. Wanting to be special the way they want to be special is a mark of infantilism. They're in the process of turning you into their parent. And they hate that parent while being obsessed with them.
Narcissists are twisted, weird and abnormal. They're also a dead weight and liability on the rest of humanity.
They want to turn you into their mother, specifically--even if it's the woman who's the narcissist.
13:41 I would have a really great day. I would have had NO interaction with the narcissist ALL day long. Then I’d come and only _listen_ to absolutely EVERYTHING she had to and NEVER disagree with ANYTHING. Then she say, “I WAS having a really great day until this evening.” That basically it was only since I got home did her day start to go sour. It was apparently just my mere presence that was causing her universe to go dark. I wouldn’t even say one word about myself or how my day went.
After me addressing everything she would nitpick me about, she had finally run out of triggers. It was now just my existence that ruins her day.
Yes she was using my resources to impress every one around
This is so accurate and the best description of the situation. Right before things finally ended he came out and said “The problem is that you think you’re indispensable”.
No. The problem is you think I’m not. When you need someone in your life and care about them, they are indispensable to you.
You deserve so many more Subscribers. Peace
I’ve watched tons of videos on narcissists. this is one of the best videos and channels out there
Thank you!
I agree now I see why my husband walks in the door everyday after work with a big fat grin and says hi babe even knowing we had a fight in the morning, lunch and before work. Like not one genuine remorse, guilt, shame that his wife is upset,or angry or concerned or unheard or etc to many words to count. This is a sick individual sent by the devil to break up relationships especially marriages 🙏 Lord have mercy on everyone affected by this unnatural behaviour.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror please , now I know that he's looking at princess Diana when he sees me,
I remembered at our courtship time, I couldn't understand why he kept saying I'm perfect I became annoyed and corrected him. No I'm not perfect, and I wandered why he always felt he had to introduce me to every friend he passed by, till now I realised he was using me as a trophy, an object to show people he has a good girlfriend, pretty at that and I was again annoyed. I couldn't put my finger on it. Thank you for this great understanding of how they see you . God bless you 🙏
how should I act? Because he can't see the real person Infront of him? I'm unable to leave, until I'm financially stable. Any advice until then?
I agree
Insane ! .
The feeling creeps up on you as you get to know the Narcissist - that they can't see you or appreciate your uniqueness. So weird. He spoke about his exes a lot but never gave a sense of who they were as people. They were described in very surface terms, such as their physical appearance or their status. Big red flag.
And even if you serve them perfectly in every way, like you said, they still will want more.
No matter how hard you try, expect to feel like a failure when you’re w a narc.
Being w a narc becomes very predictable.
As much as I know about this topic, YOUR video made me FINALLY see and understand what that means. When ppl say the narcissist doesnt see YOU. You made me get it!!!! They see the fantasy person in THEIR mind!!! They project that fantasy upon us as the identity that THEY see!!! WoW!!!!!!!! How sick and self absorbed!!! So self absorbed that they dont even see their spouse or partner!!! Thanks for this video sis!!!!!!
They are delusional/psychotics 100% of time. That is why they do not see you. Kind of autistic...
They talk with your representation of you in their head.
When you are different from imagined picture they get hit of reality which is narcissistic injury.
And you get rage, silent treatment, ghosting etc.
Yes this is a wow factor 😮. I pray for all narcissist survivors just like myself. This was another way I didn't get before. I've tried to expose him and he keeps saying I love you but I see that you don't love me switcheroo gaslighting deep delusional thinking I'm princess Diana when I'm just his fricken wife he's abusing. Sick demonic possession of evil. Lord please come soon and rescue me out of here 🙏 forgive me for all my sins. No survivor or narcissist relationship should go through this emotional abuse...😢
I agree... she nailed it
This is so spot on! You give them the moon and the stars and they are mad you didn't get the sun too.
👏👏👏👏
After searching 20 years ago for answers to why he acted the way he did, I came up with nothing but mid-life crisis and cyber romance addiction as explanations. Even starting four years ago when another incident caused me to seriously question what was going on with him. I started finding more and more videos about narcissism. The pieces of the puzzle started coming together. But, a lot of the videos were so abstract to me, it was difficult to put my mind around it to understand what I'm experiencing and why he is acting and thinking differently than what I assumed. For some reason, it took me four years to find you and I am binge watching all your videos. Your down to earth explanations and real life examples make so much sense and are relatable. I think of you as a good, wise friend. Thank you so much for the time and thought you put into these insightful videos!! Please use an algorithm so more people can find you on UA-cam!!
Believe me, I try to do what I can to appeal to the algorithm. I’m glad you eventually found my channel and have enjoyed it!
You're awesome!
Thank you! That’s so nice.
I love your channel. The way you’re able to put the narcissist under the lens. So humorous.
This is exactly what I have experienced.. it took me 27 years to undo this I never knew and always wanted to know why I was being treated I'm this matter.. I looked for for answers and couldn't find them and I'm talking yearr thank you.. I would love to speak to you I'm actually writing a book.. I would love and want to help someone this has to STOP because of this horrific sickness people are taking their lives men woman because they don't understand.. if I can help someone each and everyday. And I pray that I can.. take your power back and it's never too late and it's definitely not your fault.. thank you so much for this video.. ❤
🙋👏🙋
This video is on a topic that when communicated beautifully, as you have done, brings peace to the person who lived through the exquisite confusion and pain.
Knowing how they see you un-does the fantasy they paste over you and themselves, that you cling to (because reality is incredibly hard to accept) that keeps you in false hope and optimism and wraps you in a spider web of inertia.
This is exactly to a tee that happen to me. Almost like you had psychic powers.
great, great, great !
This was eye opening for me. Im married to a narcissist and have been diagnosed as co-dependent myself. As I get older though I feel that Im getting tired of being someones savior. I feel my life is passing me by. My spouse, due to ill health has decided to crawl into a ball and do a woe is me move. Where as Im looking to enjoy some of the things I never could due to having all this responsibility from care taker. I know the more I assert my freedom to do things the nastier things will become. But its a path I must take for me. I believe that due to my honesty about my past it allowed my spouse to take advantage of me and try to mold me into his fantasy person. Ive fallen off that pedestal for sure.
I've heard that numerous time. When addressing the narcissist behaviour and asking questions about it. He claims it feels like someone is out to get him. My thing is if you feel that way then you know 💯 that you are doing something wrong and you to correct it. He claimed I was the one pretending. Self projection much.They also see everything that you do as nothing special. It's just normal to them. On the otherhand is spectacular because they are nicest people in the whole wide world. I think not😒.
💯 that’s my expierience too, with brother, husband off 22years and last boyfriend off 4,5 years!!! Its as you and behind the mirror said!
i look back and the whole thing was about some fairytale in her head that turned in to how much she could hurt me.
WOW, THIS IS SO BIZARRE, I KNEW MY SISTERS DIDN'T SEE ME, IF THEY SAW YOU THEY WOULDN'T TREAT YOU LIKE A 2 YEAR OLD, ONE DOES THIS, THE OTHER LIKE YOU'RE NOTHING, I CAN'T STAND BEING AROUND THEM ANYMORE, ALSO WHY THEY NEVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING, DON'T SAY THANKYOU, ETC. ETC.
it's sooo true !
God bless you !
My soon to be ex spouse used to say he hated my vehicle (2022 Hybrid CRV AWD) because it made a weird sound, didn't have enough power, weird dash controls, etc... but when we'd go somewhere where his teen son's friends would need a ride or strangers who were professionals would see us arrive, he wanted to take my car and be the one driving it!!!!! Just one example of a catalogue of hypocricies. Never grateful for the nice things, not to mention people in their life.
Definitely continue with these types of videos.. many blessings 🙏❤😊 ty
The timeline is an unmistakable tell, if you know how narcissism is predictable. The darker the disorder the quicker it shows itself. The rage, projection and intentional triangulation are not one offs. It is a boundary test. After your knowledge base is aquired, the overt, combo overt-covert doesn't have a chance going undetected. A cerebral covert may require a little more time but the toxic actions of Dark Persuasion indeed are there. Passive aggression, subtle off the wall humiliations and carrot chasing designed to keep you off kilter and in servitude. It may be better to have a full spectrum far end sociopath the first time, provided you survive. Any lesser narcopath or toxic interpersonal exploitation attempt is discerned quickly with the margin of possible error acceptable if it means your well being vs. arguing internally with your intuition. You become a cognitive dissonance free zone. If it means no longer associating in certain groups, gatherings, people, so be it. Some of common cultural locations, organizations are dens of optical deception. Your perception should not be looking for it in paranoid mode, but not ignore it once it cannot be unseen.
Agreed! Well said explanation to peeling apart the many layers of the Glass Onion of the narcissist (regardless of whether it's a super dark triad level or a lighter yet sometimes dangerous one: m.ua-cam.com/video/aBQIAWh3YBs/v-deo.html)
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Thank you for your content on this subject. You are definitely one of may favourite UA-camrs on this topic. I am finding the betrayal and constantly throwing his new life with the new supply in my face the hardest to heal from. I think I could heal faster if I could go complete no contact but due to shared children it’s not possible. More content on this would be awesome. I will be waiting for your next upload. Thank you again !
Thank you. That is such a tough situation you are in. I’ve been putting off doing a video on that topic because it’s so hard, but it’s probably time to tackle it. 😊
wow, thank you ⚘
Now that the world knows much more about narcs, the weired thing is that it continues to grow, more narcs everydays, because of selfies, egoism celebrated, infinite swipes possibilities, etc. In a world of replacability and individual priority, knowing the destructive side of it doesn't stop anything. I think society has turned itself in a big narc factory. I don't know why, I see how for a part, but I'm sure it's impossible to shut down. Sorry for my pessimistic comment but I'm very concern about the cultural catalysis of this pathology. It's not only a mind problem of certain people, it has become a civilisation model.
A million percent true!
I got spayed at 21 yrs of age and never looked back. Society is FUBAR!
Great video. Very insightful. Very relatable... Thank you!
Very great explanation on how they view us. Exactly what happened to me in the past, and I was wondering what I did so wrong & broken-hearted. ❤ so true that you cannot be this perfect god they want us to be. Thanks for sharing. I will try to share it as clear as you did 👍
Excellent video👍🏽
You hit the nail on the head. 🔨 You nailed it again! 🎯 💯
Hey happy Tuesday
I hope you've been doing great ☺.
I AM officially healed from that situation I told you about (regarding that female narc I told you about who smeared me). I am SO glad I understand that as long as I never expose her, she won't smear me unprovoked 😁🙏🏿🙌🏾
Such a great and accurate video, thank you! The fishing/bait analogy is particularly resonant and something that is very hard to come to terms with even over time.
Thanks so much for this video and for all of your videos. The information is very helpful and informative I greatly appreciate you. Thank you for sharing your knowledge on narcissistic people.
You’re welcome. Thank you for watching!
Amazing insight. Well explained in an area I haven’t heard addressed.
No Foreal
This is all so true!
it is 💯 my husband
Excellent explanation. Wished i cd hv known yrs ago
yeap i feel like a mullet 🐟🐬
They are offerings help to you but they are not at all. Thay are u using you and you don't see it. You think they love you but thay don't. I. No. Heart broken I'm. It not right at all just go that it get out good luck to all 🍀😘
then if they trap you in a relationship with promises and a baby and you escape they want you to chase them and beg for what the child needs. Put him on child support and of course he’s resentful and things not seeing our baby is going to hurt me.. I never knew peace like this❤
Is it wrong for me to have expected empathic behavior , in other words , that she owed me to show compassion ?