WHY TO NEVER GIVE AN ABUSIVE NARCISSIST ANOTHER CHANCE

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  • Опубліковано 27 кві 2024
  • #narcissismawareness #narcissisticabuse It's nice to give people a chance to redeem themselves and make things right, but when you're dealing with an abusive narcissist, that is exactly the wrong thing to do. Narcissists do not see second chances the same way that most people do, and will only punish the people that show them grace.
    My listeners receive 10% off their first month of professional counseling with Betterhelp by signing up through my sponsored link here: betterhelp.com/lookingbehindth... (Betterhelp is not for crisis situations. Please see below if you are in crisis.)
    Follow me on FaceBook: / lookingbehindthemirror
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    Here is contact information for when immediate help with abuse or self harm is needed. It is recommended that you use a computer or phone that your abuser cannot monitor:
    Emergency: 911
    National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
    National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
    Crisis Text Line: Text "DESERVE" TO 741-741
    Lifeline Crisis Chat (Online live messaging): suicidepreventionlifeline.org...
    Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
    www.ywca.org/what-we-do/domes...
    YWCA - 202-467-0801
    Canadian Assaulted Women's Helpline: 1-866-863-0511
    UK National Domestic Abuse Hotline: 0808 2000 247
    South Africa POWA: 011 642 434/6
    Australia: 1-800-RESPECT

КОМЕНТАРІ • 46

  • @ironfist859
    @ironfist859 23 дні тому +31

    They DO NOT get better. They only get worse as they age.

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 16 днів тому +8

    “I never said that!”
    “I didn’t say that!”

  • @monarene44
    @monarene44 23 дні тому +16

    I gave him another chance. He got 10x worse in less than 3 weeks. It’s a psychological whiplash. You can’t come back from that.

    • @BigRebel0802
      @BigRebel0802 16 днів тому +1

      I left my narc “adult “ daughter alone for a month. When I called her then, she exploded at me in one of the worst vitriolic tirades I’ve ever been subject to. Nice daughter 🧙‍♀️

  • @palma9835
    @palma9835 23 дні тому +13

    "I'm not doing anything wrong". "I only did it once and I didn't mean it".

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 16 днів тому +8

    “Wise Quote of the Day:
    "Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown. Blame yourself for going to the circus." -unknown 😁🥵🤔

  • @HarryBarker-yp1xv
    @HarryBarker-yp1xv 21 день тому +6

    Don't waste your life on these people.

  • @ZenZone-li4fr
    @ZenZone-li4fr 23 дні тому +10

    You're right, taking them back is telling them that there are no real consequences for what they've done. They get worse if you go back and they aren't satisfied or done with you until they end up kicking you to the curb.
    Thank you! ⚘️☀️🙏🏻

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 20 днів тому +6

    The person you fell in love with never existed!! In facing this reality you will begin to heal. The narcissist has no true identity. God bless you all on this journey

  • @ironfist859
    @ironfist859 23 дні тому +18

    Her apology, " I only slept with 2 guys". My jaw hit the floor.

    • @Kissthebottle68
      @Kissthebottle68 23 дні тому +4

      “Why are you worried about some 22 year old guy? It’s only sex.”
      Hurt so bad at the time . Now I just laugh .

    • @Colemanian91
      @Colemanian91 День тому

      Damn bro 😢

  • @yuvalgal-shahaf2782
    @yuvalgal-shahaf2782 23 дні тому +15

    I follow many channells about toxicity and narcissism, and i find yours to be super informative and proffesional. Thank u

  • @annettehovey6105
    @annettehovey6105 23 дні тому +13

    ThankYou! Bless all of us who have had to deal with this horror we’ve been put through in our lives by these monsters 💔

  • @PassionateFlower
    @PassionateFlower 14 днів тому +3

    "I never meant to hurt you"
    Yes. Yes they DID mean to hurt you. They did. They meant to hurt you. That was the goal. That was the mission. To hurt YOU.

  • @stuartwigmore3738
    @stuartwigmore3738 23 дні тому +10

    Never let them back. The chances are that you don't know what had been going on behind your back at the hands of someone who is a morally redundant, dangerous and manipulative liar. That's what I'm only now starting to find out fours YEARS after the end of my marriage to a woman who on the surface was smart, sweet and innocent but also a typical poor me, damsel in distress. I had no idea.
    Love Marshall!

  • @drlarrymitchell
    @drlarrymitchell 23 дні тому +13

    Marshall!

  • @clydare
    @clydare 23 дні тому +8

    This is so true. I love the term different realities. It helps me to understand how they function. I love Marshall. I have two little buddies Basil and Sage! Thank you for this video 🙏🙏🙏

  • @mintberrycrunch4333
    @mintberrycrunch4333 10 днів тому +3

    The depth and breadth of this lady's knowledge is as impressive as her ability to impart this knowledge.

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 20 днів тому +7

    28:37 they don’t even think of you as a human being. You are an appliance, something to be used for their convenience and then replaced if you stop working. With the same level of thought and emotion as throwing away a toaster that is broken and buying another one off the shelf.

  • @donnas.1576
    @donnas.1576 23 дні тому +13

    The "sorry, not sorry" story. Fifteen years ago, I made the mistake of accepting the I'm sorry story. I looked back at the "apology" email. He wrote he was sorry and that he behaved badly, BUT I was not doing things that make him feel like he was loved. It was the faux apology by blaming me. Unfortunately, I gave him a second chance because I didn't want to be the one to end his family. I believed he had seen the light of his bad behavior and assumed he would change. Four years ago, I ended our 35 year marriage because he never changed and had continued the same bad behavior. In fact it was deja vu. Great video!

    • @PattyHolmes-bg8kz
      @PattyHolmes-bg8kz 22 дні тому

      Congratulations on leaving! I am sure your life changed--for the better.

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 20 днів тому +5

    30:57 you are holding on to a trauma bond. There is no relationship. You are are on full blown dopamine, oxytocin withdrawal. This is harder to quit than a heroin addiction! Please remember that the kinds of abuse they use on you are actually the exact same ones used on prisoners of war. So show yourself some grace. Find out who YOU are. You are not meant to live like this! Put yourself first. And if it feels difficult putting yourself first. That is all the more proof that you have been abused. Set boundaries for EVERYONE in your life.

  • @sharon3108
    @sharon3108 21 день тому +2

    Two weeks after we got engaged: “she’s the one that made a pass at me, I didnt go looking for it”

  • @Evermore2017
    @Evermore2017 21 день тому +3

    Three conditions for entry. Cover charge if you will….
    1. Therapy for Narcissistic Personality Disorder for 3 Years (no missed appointments).
    2. Couples Therapy for Betrayal Trauma and Infidelity (minimum 1 year)
    3. Born Again through Baptism and Church twice weekly.
    4. Full Access Keyloggers on all devices.
    Any violation is the permanent end. Good faith on my part is I will pay half of couples therapy.
    This is just for access. To get into your life. No kissing, sex, courting. Friends and exclusivity (no dating or chatting up others).
    Too controlling? All the best.

  • @fruitypopwhickle6806
    @fruitypopwhickle6806 10 днів тому +2

    On the 29th of May I will be celebrating 2 years without that demon! Life only gets sweeter! 🌷🍇🥂🍾💃🏾❤💕🏖❤️

  • @Kaligod3
    @Kaligod3 9 днів тому

    My absolute fav statement:
    It wasn’t that bad, because if it was you wouldn’t still be here!

  • @gabrielamartiniuc6322
    @gabrielamartiniuc6322 20 днів тому +3

    Narcissistic person
    “We were mad at each other “
    That was his perspective of me cutting him off for some extreme disrespect! We were mad at each other ? 😳😳😳

  • @LeslieChis
    @LeslieChis 5 днів тому

    I cannot tell you how much you are helping me. You are such a blessing to all the people who are being abused in this toxicity. I have listened to a lot of professionals and you say you aren’t a professional but you explain things in such a way that shines light in my darkness. I have been in a fog of second guessing, thinking I don’t forgive enough, wondering if I am mean to say finally after almost 30 years that I can’t do this anymore. My soul is broken. Your video on how Narcissists see you was such a revelation to me. It cleared some of my fog and helped to see. Bless you, God Bless you is all I can say. Please keep doing these videos, you have a gift of explaining things and I don’t even know if that addresses it enough. You are just a blessing ❤

  • @ironfist859
    @ironfist859 23 дні тому +8

    Hey 🐈😺!

  • @ardent9422
    @ardent9422 23 дні тому +10

    Have you done any videos on why narcissists come back after years? You haven't had any contact with them in 10 years or more and all of a sudden they're trying to reconnect with you, why do they come back after years, are they hoping you'll just have forgotten everything they did?

    • @pipers-lildogadventures5360
      @pipers-lildogadventures5360 21 день тому +4

      We are all supply. They can hoover for one reason only. You are supply. They're always searching for someone, anyone, anytime, any place anywhere.
      #GREYROCK
      #BLOCK
      #DELETE
      #NOCONTACT
      #IMDONE 😅

    • @Tatjana.B
      @Tatjana.B 16 днів тому +2

      Mine ex came back after 5 yrs. But what I didn't know was that he got a child with another. At that point I suppose that she discarded him. I was only old supply.

  • @PattyHolmes-bg8kz
    @PattyHolmes-bg8kz 22 дні тому +3

    I like how you get to the point! One of the few channels on narcs I always go to immediately when a new video pops up.

  • @dorisbove2210
    @dorisbove2210 23 дні тому +3

    Thank you for this video ❤ this subject matter really gets to me because I have had so many remorseful breakups with narcissist, but I always knew if this man had treated me right, hell even treated me human i would never have broken up with him, I'm not a flighty person who takes relationships mildly, I only enter into passionate loyal relationships, not to mention I am a good character analyst. I love your kitty 🐈❤😇

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 20 днів тому +1

    Spread this information far and wide

  • @PenninkJacob
    @PenninkJacob 22 дні тому +6

    You are so awesome, sooo insightful, and articulate!!! you are so helpful, I wonder if you would ever collaborate with Dr. Ramani? You should get 1000 Nobel prizes! Thank you so much !!!! 👍❤❤❤

  • @kathyschneider5443
    @kathyschneider5443 12 днів тому +2

    This is so helpful. To know they have a different reality!! I really appreciate your videos!

  • @TheNonchalant854
    @TheNonchalant854 5 днів тому

    You are wonderful and such a beautiful person, I appreciate all you have shared. I've been through a lot , it's amazing how it all comes down me and recognize my growing up background. It takes so long to get here, to admit personally how we all live in a certain amount of denial, or self coping, or self protection...this is a huge topic and needs to be respected, it has become a buzz word now days.... thanks for all your doing

  • @jeanetteedwards3129
    @jeanetteedwards3129 19 днів тому +2

    Mine cheated and literally said to my face that it was my fault bc he’s been waiting for me to be women enough to leave him.. and that he was just using me for my energy

    • @Kaligod3
      @Kaligod3 9 днів тому

      I’m sorry, you deserve better. If he won’t apologize for that I will! I hope you have moved on.

  • @mppar3104
    @mppar3104 22 дні тому +1

    👍❤️😻

  • @noturbo
    @noturbo 8 днів тому +1

    and then i call her on the how many men she has and i am the bad guy lol got rid of her tho