“Don’t worry. I really need to have more than one child because I’m so anxious that having only one will mean that we’ll lose that child and I can’t think straight at work. But you’ll still be able to continue your education. Absolutely. We’re on the same team”. School didn’t happen, he found other reasons to not function at work, and then moved out and left me with two children.
The hardest part to accept / get over is that the person you fell in love with doesn't even exist. You fell in love with a mask that slipped and then sank into a murky quagmire!
It's only difficult for you currently because you're still in the process of healing. However once you've gone way past the process, and grown within yourself to levels of consciousness you didn't realize was possible, it will be the easiest part to accept. The grand cosmic scheme. And you'll truly see and completely understand the total perfection of it all.
I agree! And I add that the hardest part is to finally and totally accept forever and conclusively, that ANYONE CAN ACTUALLY BE SO HEARTLESS AND COLD AND CRUEL!!! BecayI cannot relate to that. BUT ITS A COLD HARD FACT. Like accepting a cancer diagnosis. I guess I don’t want to believe my ex or our adult daughter is so evil. But it’s right before my eyes. They must be wired differently in their brains.They make absolutely no sense.
Yes but if you listen carefully you can hear them telling on themselves. Remember they mirror you early on yo be more like you but flip the script and they think the mirror goes both ways. This is the real disorder the delusional thinking. They do this for a number of reasons but you don't have to accept their projection and their reverse confessions. It is done to manipulate so they can tell the story they want...it's all narrative with them and no substance...in the end they just don't know how to do it any different and do y see a need to change. It's very sad but you don't have to participate. Give yourself Forgiveness and do not copy their behaviors. Stay strong and true
My narcissist ex raised lying to an art form. He would say it was “theatrics.” I said, “Bull. It’s lying. And you need psychiatric help to figure out why you find it necessary.” I walked up on him telling someone he was a retired Air Force colonel. He had told me he got dishonorably discharged as an airman. I don’t know what was true but the closest he came to a colonel was at KFC. Always talked about honoring other people but was totally unable to extend honor to others. Needless to say, I left him in the dust. That man did not love me or anybody else. And I came to dislike him strongly because of his nutty behavior.
My husband cannot have ordinary basic conversations, ordinary day to day stuff. He can find fault, complain, talk down,scream, lie. And cannot answer a single question
I once was sleeping with a narc woman who had a tattoo that said “everyone has a purpose”. By that, she meant, every person in her life can be exploited in some way.
Currently divorcing a narcissist. Ironically my daughter and myself have been in therapy the better part of two years. Oddly enough the ex wife narcissist that had an affair and discarded us is not in therapy and believes she is living a great new fantasy. We are the wake of damage while she plows through the water like narcisstic arc.
Wowwwwww. After 40 years married to a covert narc, ive heard his incessant nostalgic stories of stuff he did with his pals a million times. Not ONCE have i ever heard him share a story of something we experienced together. Its like my part in his life never existed.
Wow, you're good, this was my relationship for 13 years, I broke up with him last month. Took me a long time to realize this, but I'm free now, starting to heal myself. Starting to feel relieved.. losing me is his karma, God's has something better for me in the future. Thanks
TOPIC SUGGESTION- Was it me or did anyone else notice that the narcissist uses words / themes throughout the relationship that you’ve actually never heard in any other relationship with another adult? Blame - it’s talked about non stop Punishment - you’re constantly accused of punishing them Respect - you’re constantly being told how you disrespect them or this person or that person disrespected them. It’s a non stop theme. Of course they command absolutely no respect but demand it. “You should be ashamed of yourself”. Who says that to another adult or even a child for that matter. Those are just a few. I got so sick of the word blame. It came up in every single conversation
Yes happened to me too. I think it’s a residue from their childhood from them being shamed by their parents so then they get this obsession with calling everything “blame” even if there’s no blame involved at all.
It took me a long time to realize that 100% of the narcs stories were all from the past and that her behavior never seemed to reflect any of those stories...
WOW! that's a mouthful of Truth! i've learned to now, watch for fruit in a person's life. a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. wish i would have payed more attention, but i was so caught up in the lies of commonality that seemed like we had.
It is really sad when you come to the truth you were raised in a narc family and you were never loved. I was the empath scapegoat. I knew they didn't care about me. But to know I was never loved was crushing. Even more so to discover they were incapable of loving. But all the actions made perfect sense to me coming upon this knowledge. No contact is a beautiful thing. Heal and live in peace and reality.
Narcissistic family too followed by marrying a narcissist.. my ex spouse destroyed me.. she lied about her past and it’s just sad that the marriage with children was all just a dumb lie.
@@kiddytube3915 What I think is the hardest part to swallow is that they never loved you and your life was just a game for them to play. We were all blind to who these people were at their core. But we know now the truth of their existence and why they behave like they do. Be patient. God would not have awakened you if He didn't have a plan for you. Over time it gets better and you will never allow another one of their kind to hurt you again. We are strong yet made to feel weak because of their delusions, selfishness and gaslighting. Stay strong and only let good people in your life. Validate yourself. I am sorry for what you went thru.
It really is soul crushing my experience is as you have described although I have only just had my mothers malignant narcissist personality confirmed by my therapist and the hardest most difficult part is being told my sister is likely to have NPD also and seeing and witnessing my elderly father being so severely effected by psychological manipulation but also knowing I have no choice than to focus on my and my sons safety to go no contact with all of them. Me finding this out in the most deadly way after 46 yrs old and being used to taking blame for things I was not blameworthy for and being used to excusing for the abuse my entire life.
@@paulasewart7037 I am sorry you are going thru this. Although you may not see this now, it is actually a huge blessing on so many levels. I cannot begin to explain the level of cruelty I endured over the years and manifesting into CPTSD. I was 55 when I finally walked. You are doing the right thing for yourself and children. It sucks to have to go no contact. I would say if possible have contact with your father. He doesn't deserve more heartache. Going forward test every spirit. If they are narc have nothing to do with them. It is good that you are awakening but it is no picnic. Be the loving parent to your children and teach them about these creatures so they do not hang around or date or one day marry one and have a miserable life. You still love your family and pray for them but you can do that without being in their presence. Learning of the narc existence is an eye opener. That is the first step in healing. Now it is time for you to learn to love yourself and that you matter too. I pray for a quick healing for you.
I'm back, totally agree, 😂thats why i can't bear being around them, they are a walking lie and then they demean you, to make themselves feel better, they are bent on making you the lowest of the low, you don't treat your loved ones like that, its madness!
It is really confusing when you think about the fact that narcissists have to have as much control as they possibly can externally, but then they act like they have no control over their own self internally. Like wtf. You know what I actually think it is? They don’t actually feel like someone. They are compensating for the fact that there is no one really inside them, and so if there is no one really inside them, how *could* they possibly control that nothingness? It’s like, when you look at them to take responsibility, they are like, oh, wait, you think I *am* someone? There’s no one really here. That is what all their abusive garbage is trying to hide
Rarely do I comment on videos although what you have covered here is so spot on and well put. Done in a refreshing and positive way with healthy expectations and respect for yourself and others. I know how hard it can be to recover from the shocking realization that you lived a complete lie. Thank you so much for this!
You have revealed the simple truth. Their tangled web totally destroyed my family, with everyone in counseling and addictions and confusion, while the originator Queen Narc, sits fat and happy, after feathering her own nest, with no guilt or remorse or even blinking an eye or skipping a beat. She had children not for the development of her children, but as slaves to her, possessions. Not disciplining her children because it might make them mad and leave. Enablers supreme to get their way. THEY ALWAYS GET THEIR WAY REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT DOES TO OTHERS.
Very well articulated. You have a good grasp on the subject. Narcissism is quite illogical and insane. If the person in your presence makes you feel weird, like, you can feel their bad vibes, trust your intuition and be careful.
I’ve got my ex Narc in so many lies and he would still claim he never lies, it’s comical like he has no long term memory . He will pretend he didn’t lie when I caught him lying 24 hours earlier.
Yes, my narc son the same, for example today he eats big piece of meat and after few days he says he don't eat meat. Like he is vegan, 🤣. I reminded him of eating meat few days ago. I am recording him and show people who don't believe what I am going through as mother sometimes he speaks also very bad about those people. Lie's and promesses. Now I have learned that he is narcissistic and take one other attitude towards him. No more games, now I play games with him.
They lie about what others say about you. And lie when they say they love you, but show you the opposite. She said she hated liars when we initially dated. I saw it only pertained to me, not her. I looked to you tube for understanding of her behavior, that's when I discovered narcissiam. I was hated for that. Why?😢
Thanks for helping us to “Make sense out of NONSENSE.” Wow. This content is _really_ helpful. 👍 SO crazy how this one narcissist targeted me, an attractive female doctor, married mother of four (at the time, now five), a full medical practice. After all THAT, she still had enough appetite to devour me too? HOLY COW.
I've watched many similar channels about this topic and nobody explains things as clearly as you do. You have such a good way of putting it into words. I just wish it was possible to get them to listen to this with an open, introspective view.
This is why narcissists hide in their homes. Extended family, work, and "friends" don't support their fantasy, so they stay home--work from home even--where they, their partners and/or children believe the fantasy. Because they know that the moment they step out of their house, they are not who they claim to be.... I personally know narcissists who make excuses to not get together because of this. And I love it! Because I don't have to see them nor listen to more of their "great" tales or victim stories.
Yes the narcissists that have been in my life, never had anything of substance to say, it was all just banter or sports talk, or talk about their own perceived achievements of the week, nothing deep or meaningful, just garbage really. Just years of useless meaningless banter that meant nothing, or gossip, they love gossip.
The reason they lie about themselves, and others, is due to their own self-perceived inferiority, the desire to overcome truths that keep slapping them in the face. Our mother was easily the most difficult person I've ever known: she spent her life comparing herself to and envying others, gaslighting and lying about her own children. Every attempt to face her with the facts was met with her rage, every compliment made to others in her presence met with her denial and/or projection. After 46 years of her abuse, I finally walked away, because it was clear she could not change, she could not relent. A close second to mother was our middle brother. He was subjected to our mother's abuses and observed her gaslighting and envy of others, as if taking lessons. He lived in the academic and athletic shadows of his older and younger brothers, and he lied to his kids by tearing us siblings down while simultaneously building himself up. He never participated in anything to have a have a good time: he was there to claim dominance even in the face of obvious contradictions. One day, he literally walked up to me, out of nowhere, and said, "My penis is bigger than yours". It gets even weirder and more ridiculous, to the point that I've asked my wife and kids if I've been lying to myself or hallucinating. I need to write a screenplay about these freaks.
My narc ex gf said honesty and communication are the most important things. She couldn’t stand liars. Also, cheating is the number one thing she’s against in life. Yet the only thing I can’t prove that she did was cheat.
This is the most accurate description of these people Ive heard in 60 years. It is what it is and it ain't no more. Their ability to go through life unnoticed is amazing. I had an adopted mother like this and i can honestly say you have to fight yourself to never have pity for anything they ever said to you about anything. Or anyone else from here on out. Its a habit they created in you to always feel "less than" and to never have a say or a voice. Its a horrible childhood being the child of one of these (nonpresent) robot like humans. Not only do they not have the ability to care about your emotional needs, they disconnect you from other people intentionally with their slanderous hateful opinions which they do to intentionally prop themselves up to the whole world at your expense. Theyll even slander their grandchildren behind your back to their family of origin. Mine tried to destroy me and i finally figured thus out 6-8 years after she passed. Relief is all i feel now. Thank God it's finally over. But my character assination will live on forever with her Family of origin. Its always a losing battle with these damaged children. .
Your videos are very good. My husband is a bottomless pit of attention seeking. He needs constant validation and gets hurt when he doesn’t get it. It’s so exhausting
Watching it the second time . They try to correct your perception of something that they have no direct experience with , your v-logs make me understand things that happened to me , better
Whenever I start thinking that maybe I’ve misinterpreted the situation I went through, I watch your videos and it helps frame the reality, and thus helps me heal tremendously. I can’t thank you enough.
He lied about everything but some of his lies were really psychotic such as that he has cancer ( he hasn't ) and that he'll make last dinner for friends in the mountains. How sick!
Very POWERFUL! I was the one after 22 years of all the abuse I just didn't see it blind.. and didn't understand just like you said why you do this and yeah I was angry but I end up going back with him after 22 years to him 23 years for him to do exactly what he did back then every single thing that you just that is him horrible and then I'm definitely going to write a book about this the whole 3 years that he was here he was manipulating a disabled girl right underneath me literally in my building same apartment and everything.. what pisses me off what really upsets me is that they go to go to hurt someone and they keep getting away I have to go to all the way to the they have to be stopped they should get arrested when a woman kills himself hurts himself they have to be stopped they should get arrested when a woman kills himself hurts himself they should not be able to hurt everybody yeah you go no contact but they're doing it to someone else and the cycle liver enzymes and they keep on and make it away with it has to end I used to feel sorry for him he knows what he's doing he's worse than a bottle feeding magnet one thing he did for meI'll never ever want to see his face again and I actually don't even care what the next person all the next person because he's going to end up alone very lonely sad.. so I don't feel sorry for them anymore I did but they know what they're doing and now he has no supply off to the race to continue to do it to her now.. but just a feeling of him downstairs I don't care as long as he leaves me alone.. because I will post his picture all over the place letting everyone know when he did and I am going to tell my neighbors they all of them as he was the greatest oh my god he's so apathetic .. but he hacked my computer is destroyed my laptops.. he was so jealous of my business he's a failure I have always be.. but now I can move on and be so happy take my advice they're not worth nothing.. sad pathetic disgusting.. Amen😊❤ very powerful thank you very much 🙏
When my dog died 🐕, my older sister and narcissistic husband at the time went with me to the vet, basically to euthanize her. I cried so deeply bcuz she was a part of me for over 15 years...my ex-husband was MAKING JOKES and smiling throughout the whole experience. When I got home, I told him, "You really have a problem with emotions. You have no emotional connection or emotional sympathy."
If i would of got home that day, i would of said i want to divorce. Smiling, joking at the vet basically killing the dog. Knowing you cry and are heartbroken. He did even not loved a dog ( who are precious beings to us ). I have rejected many men only for this reasons. Cold people are people who break your spirit to the point of no return. Horrible experience you had right there. I guess you have many experiences to tell. But you stay and he knows it. He fools you and keeps you fooling.
That’s why when you meet people. You have to do more listening than talking. Because a narcissist will want you too do a lot of talking, so they can arm themselves with arsenal.
Its very scary to see this play out in real time. I remember I caused a narc injury to my ex and told her about herself and she reinvented herself afterwards after we broke up. She became a whole new person and created a facade of why we broke up. It all became my fault and I was this horrible person overnight. I got smeared and everything. It scared me because she created an actual character because i exposed the character she was when she was with me. I was very unhappy. I felt like my life became one big lie and as long as I was playing my part pretending to be in a happy family she stayed happy. When I started questioning things and standing up for myself the devalue came. Then the discard after I told her about herself. Instead of her taking responsibility she just wanted to break up our family and create a new persona. It was sad and scary. And what you said at the end is true. It really hurts when you realize that the person you were with wasn’t even real. I fell for hoovers because i was still in love with the fake person that I fell in love with. Its almost like loosing someone to death almost. When you realize that you just have to mourn and accept that your person is gone.
OMG, what you said about their stories over time, they rewrite history. For example, my boyfriend and I were discussing how both of us never wanted children. For 2 1/2 years this story in his past never changed then one day he said "oh, me and my first wife tried to have a child by her having her tubes untied, but her doctor said it was not advisable " or something like that. It hits you like a ton of bricks when you realize they don't really have an identity and you don't really know them.
Can you make a video on when a narcissist does something for you ? I experienced a very difficult time yesterday where my narcissistic husband decided to do laundry while stonewalling me after being verbally abusive the night prior. I felt as though him doing this for me was a way of him saying he was sorry for calling me an idiot, retard, crazy, etc. I decided to go out to dinner with him. He got angry because I waved at a waiter and was demanding an explanation. Immediately when he had the chance he used the fact that he did my laundry against me and it was ridiculous. I felt like it was too good to be true and that is why I had thanked him SEVERAL times as he gave me pitiful looks rather than taking accountability for hurting my feelings and calling me names. I would like to really see a video from you on this topic !! It’s confusing and I’m not sure if I’m truly crazy at this point for not wanting to accept nice gestures or gifts because they constantly get thrown in my face when I “fuck up”. If anyone else has experienced anything similar please comment below as well or if you have any advice 😅
I’ve experienced that. Obviously he’s not doing laundry to be nice. He’s doing it to create a weapon that he can use to shame you and insult you. I’ve discussed this in my videos, but I’ll think of how I might do one specifically for this topic. Thanks for the idea!
Start asking why with a very plain faced low emotion way. Like I notice you are doing laundry for me after silent treatment and anger, I do like the laundry being done but can I ask why? What are you communicating to me? This is when the rubber meets the road and how to figure out just how malignant they are. It's probably a peace offering and they want one in return because they never see the need to apologize without also getting one. They have a script in their head and when you went off script at the restaurant the process had to hit restart. It's dysfunctional and disordered and sometimes they know exactly what they're doing and other times they done and are sort of re- enacting things of the past. I hope so e of this helps but if things get out of hand you need to leave before you get hurt physically and accused of affairs and crap just because you waived or smiled at someone...that's too scary
All relationships with a Narcissist are transactional. They NEVER do ANYTHING for ANYONE unless there is something for them to gain by doing so. One of the most important rules when dealing with a Narc. It doesn't matter what they give you. The price tag is too big and never worth it.
@@yulandarowe6166 well said, even in my comment you narrowed it down to transactional motivation. My point is getting them to admit it. And see if they can't and go to gaslighting or rage or whatever. If they will admit a quid pro quo and can verbalize it then they might be lower on scale and lower on malignancy, lean Autism spectrum, immature than toxic. There is possibility there if you can't go no contact and grey rocking gets poor results. Sometimes people dont feel like they can leave the relationships and that's who I am talking to. The ones who are in noncommittal or non family or not a boss and work type thing should leave ASAP, but not everyone can dot hat in a safe way. Don't poke the bear but also don't fool yourself into destroying everything out of knee jerk fear the moment you think you are dealing with a narcissist. They aren't all the same. Some are dangerous sadists and you need to plan carefully and be prepared for blowback no matter what, others are all bark and no bite and once you bore them they ghost anyhow. You need to be smart and try to keep emotions in check, there is time for emotions and healing later. I'm not really you Yulanda, because you seem super well educated, I'm typing to anyone reading this comment thread. Hoping to help people and pay it forward. ❤️
If you can get out, you should. These people only escalate these toxic behaviors. You’ll never get them to admit any wrongdoing against you unless it’s to manipulate further. Your mental and physical health will suffer greatly the longer you’re with them. If you can get out, get out and stay out. It’s for your own well-being.
So many things on point, my ex narc always said I know what you said but you really meant something else LoL, it used to drive me crazy. I would have to choose my words very carefully then explain them forward, backwards, and sideways and hope she didn't want pick a fight that day.
Omg your video was the best!!! Please keep making videos. I had to go for eval and they asked my that if the person I was with continued to contemplate suicide over the course of 10 years marriage how can I keep my International job that required me to travel several times a year. That's a really good question. This video helped explain to me why I continue to stay in this relationship in spite of all the abuse. If a person's never been an abusive relationship I don't know if they could fully understand. Why didn't have the luxury to stay home because I had to provide for my children. Also there is no instant cure for bad relationship and it takes time which I gave her. And then I believed the lies there's no perfect relationship everybody has issues you're a man you need to take it and you have to deal with it and man up.
Thank you. You are doing great work. Too bad we’re not all here for some other reason. What a bummer to waste your whole damn life with somebody who is just absolutely a big fat zero. It’s hard to wrap your mind around what these demons are capable of, because when you’re not a sociopath yourself, you give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust anyone ever again. I would’ve never thought he was capable of the things he was doing. It’s mind-boggling.
My ex had a tattoo that read "Trust No One." That should have been my first red flag. They do lie about everything. Sometines you sit and think "why lie about that?" My boyfriend's inability to just tell me the truth about his deceit just caused more problems because I already knew the truth.
I have had 2 put up with 3 of them, mother, 2 sisters, all lies, but I never grew up with mother or 1 sister, thank God, so many lies and I am always telling the truth, they all hate me, mother dead but they hate everyone, I just got to know my youngest sister more recently, I be Believed her when she told me she had all these friends but I know it's not possible now because they can't have friends because they can't get close to anyone, well I am the one who is alone whilst they have partners and children, but I heard their kids hate them, they are horrible people to be around for any length of time! I'd rather be alone w/ my beautiful ragdoll cat!
He tried to tell me that we “bought your parents a house!” (we didn’t- in fact my parents paid for half of our sons’ tuition, which he also denied). He told me that I never finish anything I start, while unable to provide an example. During one of his craziest rants he told me that I had hit him at some point in the past. He told me that straight to my face. I addressed it during marriage counseling and he said “Well she was standing near me and it felt like it could have been aggressive”. Even after that, he didn’t want to admit that there was a difference between someone hitting a person and just standing near them. I wonder how many people he told his alternate version of reality to, since he so easily told it to me. The one person who knew he was lying.
Can I just say how infuriating it is when a narcissist tries to tell you how you're feeling, thinking and have remembered things?! Can I get an AMEN if you agree?
"It's like they are living in the past". This is my experience living with and being married to an ex-wife I believe suffered from a cluster B disorder. She was quietly, but absolutely, consumed by the negative aspects of "what had happened to her", or "who had done to her". All of it was completely unprovable, but IMO was an effective strategy to paint herself as the perpetual victim, drawing people in for attention and to provoke their "knight in shining armour" sensibilities
They’re like a carnival worker moving from carnival to carnival-smiling, putting on a show, turning a few cartwheels, swallowing fire. It’s laughable really. A way of life. Until that final curtain drops.
Oh they very much know what they’re doing. Or at least the Machiavellian or malignant ones do. His behavior was about control and specific to the individual. I chose to go to the mental hospital 3 x , which was his goal. It was like a vacation. That’s when I knew I had to go no contact.
This totally explains why my husband was stalking his boss and totally obsessed with catching him with the cashier from work.. His married boss was boinking the cashier.. I was like why do u care so much.. Because proving it and catching him would elevate my husband's guilt or making him feel superior morally because he did that to me 25 years ago..
I met the narc at the end of august in a kind of working group, inmediately felt something wierd about her. Had a good time at the group, was very productive and was rather popular. And at the end of October,, it just happened and we started a 'ship' together. Much of bedtime. Already after 4 days, I heard her saying at her outdoor place, out of nothing, I was a loser..
I've had a problem...all of my life really with a sister than 10 years my senior. You hit on so many red flags I'm kind of bewildered. I haven't spoke to her in about 2 years and she's so toxic I just can't think of a way to address her. I've come to the conclusion that it's best to just not bother. I know the truth. I can see the facade and the false self. She's done a lot of damage over my lifetime and caused a lot of pain. It's pain to be distant but I haven't had half the anxiety I did when I did speak to her. It's just not worth it.
My sister is a narcissist too. I am 70,and finally broke free this year, along with her daughter. It weird and difficult because she is family, but I am happier. When my dad passed in March 2020, I knew I no longer had to tolerate her behavior to protect my dad. It took 3 years of me not allowing her behavior which escalated her cruelty to finally end it. I tried so hard to explain and work it out. At least I know I was kind and tried my best. I am now free and it feels good.
@@melindasmith3713Yes but if you were raised in a narc family and don't know it you think that your partner's behavior is normal. It was only when I realized that my partner was a narc that I realized that I was raised by narc's.
@@nicolaa9672 yeah I was raised like I was my dad's wife ! Even using me when I left home . He had my mom , she was there, she gave up and he took me . I'm just saying we had a choice in our partner and were dumb to it .
The narcissist wants a servant robot with their mouth, taped shut ….that just nods yes to everything waits on them hand and foot, dishes ,cooking ,pays the bills , cleans up after them …that’s all they want. They don’t want a real relationship. They’re sick! run fast!!!!
They😂 wanr to destroy your spirit, they are vampires, they seek to destroy you so you never grow ro your potential, they want u to be a being of the night!
This is 100% TRUE. my husband and his family. Lie about things when it's not even necessary.. Lie just to lie.. Oh my gosh.. Yes. He will say "that's not you talking. You sound like your dad or a family member.." I'll say that's weird because my dad doesn't believe what I'm trying to say, he thinks it's a conspiracy also.. My thoughts aren't mine according to him..
My ex narc LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING...But would say he was being so honest about everything....he said i was the liar but could never tell me what I lied about....he would always come out of the blue with things I was doing and would get pissed when i would say......"soooo thats what youre actually doing"....he saw me as the worst person when i would call him out....as i did most of the time until i started to realize it was no point....
Often the real person is a lot more appealing than the false persona they are trying to convince everyone of. I had to let go of 2 "friends" because of their abusive, toxic, parasitic egos. We had lots of fun for many years, but they became so abusive that I was miserable around them. They seemed to attack me the worst when I was going through the WORST time of my life. Does anyone know why some people become ok with themselves problems and all and some people can't and never will?
I believe myself to be a person with a lot of integrity now, anyway I wonder why i have been thrown into a family of such outrageous lack of integrity, although there are things they wouldn not do, their very life is a lie! There must be a lesson I need to LEARN, I am very shy with people and keep to myself now!
Future faking was the biggest lie.
Absolutely
Wow girl, you are right on!
👍👍
“Don’t worry. I really need to have more than one child because I’m so anxious that having only one will mean that we’ll lose that child and I can’t think straight at work. But you’ll still be able to continue your education. Absolutely. We’re on the same team”.
School didn’t happen, he found other reasons to not function at work, and then moved out and left me with two children.
The hardest part to accept / get over is that the person you fell in love with doesn't even exist.
You fell in love with a mask that slipped and then sank into a murky quagmire!
It's only difficult for you currently because you're still in the process of healing. However once you've gone way past the process, and grown within yourself to levels of consciousness you didn't realize was possible, it will be the easiest part to accept. The grand cosmic scheme. And you'll truly see and completely understand the total perfection of it all.
I agree! And I add that the hardest part is to finally and totally accept forever and conclusively, that ANYONE CAN ACTUALLY BE SO HEARTLESS AND COLD AND CRUEL!!! BecayI cannot relate to that. BUT ITS A COLD HARD FACT. Like accepting a cancer diagnosis. I guess I don’t want to believe my ex or our adult daughter is so evil. But it’s right before my eyes. They must be wired differently in their brains.They make absolutely no sense.
Lies of omission are incredibly deceptive and manipulative
Yep. They intentionally leave out or omit relevant information.
Just like current edition of gop liars x liars & control. Also you get fired.
The absolute worst.
Narcs are professionals at half truths and they love it. narcs think they’re so deviously creative.
"I didnt lie to you about seeing my ex, I just didn't tell you" it's called a lie of ommission.
Yes. They dont just lie to cover up something they did, they do lie just for the hell of it.
"They'll correct you about how you feel, or what you remember." I almost screamed after hearing this
🎯
Always gaslighting.
Mad at any given time without provocation.
Yes but if you listen carefully you can hear them telling on themselves. Remember they mirror you early on yo be more like you but flip the script and they think the mirror goes both ways. This is the real disorder the delusional thinking. They do this for a number of reasons but you don't have to accept their projection and their reverse confessions. It is done to manipulate so they can tell the story they want...it's all narrative with them and no substance...in the end they just don't know how to do it any different and do y see a need to change. It's very sad but you don't have to participate. Give yourself Forgiveness and do not copy their behaviors. Stay strong and true
My narcissist ex raised lying to an art form. He would say it was “theatrics.” I said, “Bull. It’s lying. And you need psychiatric help to figure out why you find it necessary.” I walked up on him telling someone he was a retired Air Force colonel. He had told me he got dishonorably discharged as an airman. I don’t know what was true but the closest he came to a colonel was at KFC. Always talked about honoring other people but was totally unable to extend honor to others. Needless to say, I left him in the dust. That man did not love me or anybody else. And I came to dislike him strongly because of his nutty behavior.
Truth isnt in a narcs vocabulary...even when they have no need to lie its so ingrained in them to lie, they will lie anyway...
Inner Light doesn't need the spotlight ... Infinite freedom.
My husband cannot have ordinary basic conversations, ordinary day to day stuff. He can find fault, complain, talk down,scream, lie. And cannot answer a single question
The grandiosity is sickening......
I once was sleeping with a narc woman who had a tattoo that said “everyone has a purpose”.
By that, she meant, every person in her life can be exploited in some way.
Scary. I hope you fled quickly.
Currently divorcing a narcissist. Ironically my daughter and myself have been in therapy the better part of two years. Oddly enough the ex wife narcissist that had an affair and discarded us is not in therapy and believes she is living a great new fantasy. We are the wake of damage while she plows through the water like narcisstic arc.
Yes. They have a disorder that puts everyone else but them into therapy.
Actually realizing that it was ALL a lie helped me move on and go no contact without looking back...
Great video 👍👏✨
Wowwwwww. After 40 years married to a covert narc, ive heard his incessant nostalgic stories of stuff he did with his pals a million times. Not ONCE have i ever heard him share a story of something we experienced together. Its like my part in his life never existed.
Same here. College stories and old military stories. Never stories about us or me.
@@emagnolie I’m so sorry. Praying total healing for u and each of us who has been subjected to this devaluing🙏🏼
Wow, now that I think about it, my husband does this too.
Wow, you're good, this was my relationship for 13 years, I broke up with him last month. Took me a long time to realize this, but I'm free now, starting to heal myself. Starting to feel relieved.. losing me is his karma, God's has something better for me in the future. Thanks
What you said about the narcissist 'wanting' to believe their lies about you hit a chord. It does make them look better, by comparison.
You are clearly very perceptive. I shudder to think what you may have lived through to be able to know so much about it.
You have a genuine way of explaining NPD. Specially the "why" they do this crap and lead destructive lives. Thank you.
Facts! Evil wicked demons!
TOPIC SUGGESTION-
Was it me or did anyone else notice that the narcissist uses words / themes throughout the relationship that you’ve actually never heard in any other relationship with another adult?
Blame - it’s talked about non stop
Punishment - you’re constantly accused of punishing them
Respect - you’re constantly being told how you disrespect them or this person or that person disrespected them. It’s a non stop theme. Of course they command absolutely no respect but demand it.
“You should be ashamed of yourself”. Who says that to another adult or even a child for that matter.
Those are just a few. I got so sick of the word blame. It came up in every single conversation
Yes happened to me too. I think it’s a residue from their childhood from them being shamed by their parents so then they get this obsession with calling everything “blame” even if there’s no blame involved at all.
Yes, I always heard "so, you are punishing me now?" I'm like WTF, are you 12?
It took me a long time to realize that 100% of the narcs stories were all from the past and that her behavior never seemed to reflect any of those stories...
WOW! that's a mouthful of Truth! i've learned to now, watch for fruit in a person's life. a good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit. wish i would have payed more attention, but i was so caught up in the lies of commonality that seemed like we had.
Matthew 7:17-23…🙏🙏💓📖
💯 yehhh ..there pastmakes no sense!
It is really sad when you come to the truth you were raised in a narc family and you were never loved. I was the empath scapegoat. I knew they didn't care about me. But to know I was never loved was crushing. Even more so to discover they were incapable of loving. But all the actions made perfect sense to me coming upon this knowledge. No contact is a beautiful thing. Heal and live in peace and reality.
Narcissistic family too followed by marrying a narcissist.. my ex spouse destroyed me.. she lied about her past and it’s just sad that the marriage with children was all just a dumb lie.
@@kiddytube3915 What I think is the hardest part to swallow is that they never loved you and your life was just a game for them to play. We were all blind to who these people were at their core. But we know now the truth of their existence and why they behave like they do. Be patient. God would not have awakened you if He didn't have a plan for you. Over time it gets better and you will never allow another one of their kind to hurt you again. We are strong yet made to feel weak because of their delusions, selfishness and gaslighting. Stay strong and only let good people in your life.
Validate yourself. I am sorry for what you went thru.
It really is soul crushing my experience is as you have described although I have only just had my mothers malignant narcissist personality confirmed by my therapist and the hardest most difficult part is being told my sister is likely to have NPD also and seeing and witnessing my elderly father being so severely effected by psychological manipulation but also knowing I have no choice than to focus on my and my sons safety to go no contact with all of them. Me finding this out in the most deadly way after 46 yrs old and being used to taking blame for things I was not blameworthy for and being used to excusing for the abuse my entire life.
@@paulasewart7037 I am sorry you are going thru this. Although you may not see this now, it is actually a huge blessing on so many levels. I cannot begin to explain the level of cruelty I endured over the years and manifesting into CPTSD. I was 55 when I finally walked. You are doing the right thing for yourself and children. It sucks to have to go no contact. I would say if possible have contact with your father. He doesn't deserve more heartache. Going forward test every spirit. If they are narc have nothing to do with them. It is good that you are awakening but it is no picnic. Be the loving parent to your children and teach them about these creatures so they do not hang around or date or one day marry one and have a miserable life. You still love your family and pray for them but you can do that without being in their presence. Learning of the narc existence is an eye opener. That is the first step in healing. Now it is time for you to learn to love yourself and that you matter too. I pray for a quick healing for you.
@@paulasewart7037 Same boat, friend. Focus on our kids and end the generational curse.
You hit the nail on the head with "How it makes them feel about themselves".
I'm back, totally agree, 😂thats why i can't bear being around them, they are a walking lie and then they demean you, to make themselves feel better, they are bent on making you the lowest of the low, you don't treat your loved ones like that, its madness!
It is really confusing when you think about the fact that narcissists have to have as much control as they possibly can externally, but then they act like they have no control over their own self internally. Like wtf. You know what I actually think it is? They don’t actually feel like someone. They are compensating for the fact that there is no one really inside them, and so if there is no one really inside them, how *could* they possibly control that nothingness? It’s like, when you look at them to take responsibility, they are like, oh, wait, you think I *am* someone? There’s no one really here. That is what all their abusive garbage is trying to hide
Rarely do I comment on videos although what you have covered here is so spot on and well put. Done in a refreshing and positive way with healthy expectations and respect for yourself and others. I know how hard it can be to recover from the shocking realization that you lived a complete lie. Thank you so much for this!
You have revealed the simple truth. Their tangled web totally destroyed my family, with everyone in counseling and addictions and confusion, while the originator Queen Narc, sits fat and happy, after feathering her own nest, with no guilt or remorse or even blinking an eye or skipping a beat. She had children not for the development of her children, but as slaves to her, possessions. Not disciplining her children because it might make them mad and leave. Enablers supreme to get their way. THEY ALWAYS GET THEIR WAY REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT DOES TO OTHERS.
Very well articulated. You have a good grasp on the subject. Narcissism is quite illogical and insane. If the person in your presence makes you feel weird, like, you can feel their bad vibes, trust your intuition and be careful.
I’ve got my ex Narc in so many lies and he would still claim he never lies, it’s comical like he has no long term memory . He will pretend he didn’t lie when I caught him lying 24 hours earlier.
Yes, my narc son the same, for example today he eats big piece of meat and after few days he says he don't eat meat. Like he is vegan, 🤣. I reminded him of eating meat few days ago. I am recording him and show people who don't believe what I am going through as mother sometimes he speaks also very bad about those people. Lie's and promesses. Now I have learned that he is narcissistic and take one other attitude towards him. No more games, now I play games with him.
They lie about what others say about you. And lie when they say they love you, but show you the opposite. She said she hated liars when we initially dated. I saw it only pertained to me, not her. I looked to you tube for understanding of her behavior, that's when I discovered narcissiam. I was hated for that. Why?😢
Thanks for helping us to “Make sense out of NONSENSE.” Wow. This content is _really_ helpful. 👍 SO crazy how this one narcissist targeted me, an attractive female doctor, married mother of four (at the time, now five), a full medical practice. After all THAT, she still had enough appetite to devour me too? HOLY COW.
It's so crazy, he lies about things he doesn't even have to.
I've watched many similar channels about this topic and nobody explains things as clearly as you do. You have such a good way of putting it into words. I just wish it was possible to get them to listen to this with an open, introspective view.
Don't try to reason with them. It's completely impossible and they will twist it back on you. They are maniacal.
Their inner enteties wont let them.....
Why not watch Denzo mos or Jesse Cabrera. His video "now you can see the spiritual war" is an eye opener...
He never cheats , lol. I can't cheat boy if I looked wrong
This is why narcissists hide in their homes. Extended family, work, and "friends" don't support their fantasy, so they stay home--work from home even--where they, their partners and/or children believe the fantasy. Because they know that the moment they step out of their house, they are not who they claim to be.... I personally know narcissists who make excuses to not get together because of this. And I love it! Because I don't have to see them nor listen to more of their "great" tales or victim stories.
Yes a covert narcissist is likely to hide away in their home. But a grandiose or malignant narcissist will get out and about seeking supply.
Everything w a narc comes and goes w the wind, perfectly said 👌🏻💯
Yes the narcissists that have been in my life, never had anything of substance to say, it was all just banter or sports talk, or talk about their own perceived achievements of the week, nothing deep or meaningful, just garbage really. Just years of useless meaningless banter that meant nothing, or gossip, they love gossip.
I told him all the time, "I don't Believe you". Haha, really shook him
The reason they lie about themselves, and others, is due to their own self-perceived inferiority, the desire to overcome truths that keep slapping them in the face.
Our mother was easily the most difficult person I've ever known: she spent her life comparing herself to and envying others, gaslighting and lying about her own children. Every attempt to face her with the facts was met with her rage, every compliment made to others in her presence met with her denial and/or projection. After 46 years of her abuse, I finally walked away, because it was clear she could not change, she could not relent.
A close second to mother was our middle brother. He was subjected to our mother's abuses and observed her gaslighting and envy of others, as if taking lessons. He lived in the academic and athletic shadows of his older and younger brothers, and he lied to his kids by tearing us siblings down while simultaneously building himself up. He never participated in anything to have a have a good time: he was there to claim dominance even in the face of obvious contradictions. One day, he literally walked up to me, out of nowhere, and said, "My penis is bigger than yours".
It gets even weirder and more ridiculous, to the point that I've asked my wife and kids if I've been lying to myself or hallucinating. I need to write a screenplay about these freaks.
My narc ex gf said honesty and communication are the most important things. She couldn’t stand liars. Also, cheating is the number one thing she’s against in life. Yet the only thing I can’t prove that she did was cheat.
Its hard to catch a narcissist
@@DOCTORSAMMYBAYA Indeed.
Oh wow, my feed is flooded with everyone except you for several months now! Glad I was able to catch your upload always so informative.
Devalue came when we had kids
They’re not the center of attention anymore. This is unbearable to them.
This is the most accurate description of these people Ive heard in 60 years. It is what it is and it ain't no more. Their ability to go through life unnoticed is amazing. I had an adopted mother like this and i can honestly say you have to fight yourself to never have pity for anything they ever said to you about anything. Or anyone else from here on out. Its a habit they created in you to always feel "less than" and to never have a say or a voice. Its a horrible childhood being the child of one of these (nonpresent) robot like humans. Not only do they not have the ability to care about your emotional needs, they disconnect you from other people intentionally with their slanderous hateful opinions which they do to intentionally prop themselves up to the whole world at your expense. Theyll even slander their grandchildren behind your back to their family of origin. Mine tried to destroy me and i finally figured thus out 6-8 years after she passed. Relief is all i feel now. Thank God it's finally over. But my character assination will live on forever with her Family of origin. Its always a losing battle with these damaged children. .
Your videos are very good. My husband is a bottomless pit of attention seeking. He needs constant validation and gets hurt when he doesn’t get it. It’s so exhausting
Please leave. These psychos don't change and they don't care about others.
Ur hubby needs to become your ex. Urgently.
32 years of chaos, save yourself
@@nialeilakande I was told 20 yrs ago I'm an emotional rollercoaster . Never knew what it meant
@@melindasmith3713 im sorry 😞
This Video absolutely details the “Root” of the problem of Narcissism…!!!
So pretty much the story they tell about everything leading up to this point in time..
Watching it the second time . They try to correct your perception of something that they have no direct experience with , your v-logs make me understand things that happened to me , better
That’s right constantly lying for no reason! Great vid
If they open their mouths expect a lie😅
Such depth of understanding!
Whenever I start thinking that maybe I’ve misinterpreted the situation I went through, I watch your videos and it helps frame the reality, and thus helps me heal tremendously. I can’t thank you enough.
He lied about everything but some of his lies were really psychotic such as that he has cancer ( he hasn't ) and that he'll make last dinner for friends in the mountains. How sick!
Very POWERFUL! I was the one after 22 years of all the abuse I just didn't see it blind.. and didn't understand just like you said why you do this and yeah I was angry but I end up going back with him after 22 years to him 23 years for him to do exactly what he did back then every single thing that you just that is him horrible and then I'm definitely going to write a book about this the whole 3 years that he was here he was manipulating a disabled girl right underneath me literally in my building same apartment and everything.. what pisses me off what really upsets me is that they go to go to hurt someone and they keep getting away I have to go to all the way to the they have to be stopped they should get arrested when a woman kills himself hurts himself they have to be stopped they should get arrested when a woman kills himself hurts himself they should not be able to hurt everybody yeah you go no contact but they're doing it to someone else and the cycle liver enzymes and they keep on and make it away with it has to end I used to feel sorry for him he knows what he's doing he's worse than a bottle feeding magnet one thing he did for meI'll never ever want to see his face again and I actually don't even care what the next person all the next person because he's going to end up alone very lonely sad.. so I don't feel sorry for them anymore I did but they know what they're doing and now he has no supply off to the race to continue to do it to her now.. but just a feeling of him downstairs I don't care as long as he leaves me alone.. because I will post his picture all over the place letting everyone know when he did and I am going to tell my neighbors they all of them as he was the greatest oh my god he's so apathetic .. but he hacked my computer is destroyed my laptops.. he was so jealous of my business he's a failure I have always be.. but now I can move on and be so happy take my advice they're not worth nothing.. sad pathetic disgusting.. Amen😊❤ very powerful thank you very much 🙏
I have an "older" sister who told me the biggest whopping lie about our childhood!. She seems to forget that I was alive then too!
Your explanations so validating and clear! Thank you!
They lie and justify the lie , like a good religious person
Omg I know
When my dog died 🐕, my older sister and narcissistic husband at the time went with me to the vet, basically to euthanize her. I cried so deeply bcuz she was a part of me for over 15 years...my ex-husband was MAKING JOKES and smiling throughout the whole experience. When I got home, I told him, "You really have a problem with emotions. You have no emotional connection or emotional sympathy."
They have no empathy lack any emotional intelligence or support …. Narcs are a waste of time.
If i would of got home that day, i would of said i want to divorce.
Smiling, joking at the vet basically killing the dog. Knowing you cry and are heartbroken. He did even not loved a dog ( who are precious beings to us ).
I have rejected many men only for this reasons.
Cold people are people who break your spirit to the point of no return.
Horrible experience you had right there.
I guess you have many experiences to tell.
But you stay and he knows it.
He fools you and keeps you fooling.
The dog was honest , f*ck all the liar narcs.
That’s why when you meet people. You have to do more listening than talking. Because a narcissist will want you too do a lot of talking, so they can arm themselves with arsenal.
Most professionals have no clue what it is like to be with a narcissist
Its very scary to see this play out in real time. I remember I caused a narc injury to my ex and told her about herself and she reinvented herself afterwards after we broke up. She became a whole new person and created a facade of why we broke up. It all became my fault and I was this horrible person overnight. I got smeared and everything. It scared me because she created an actual character because i exposed the character she was when she was with me. I was very unhappy. I felt like my life became one big lie and as long as I was playing my part pretending to be in a happy family she stayed happy. When I started questioning things and standing up for myself the devalue came. Then the discard after I told her about herself. Instead of her taking responsibility she just wanted to break up our family and create a new persona. It was sad and scary.
And what you said at the end is true. It really hurts when you realize that the person you were with wasn’t even real. I fell for hoovers because i was still in love with the fake person that I fell in love with. Its almost like loosing someone to death almost. When you realize that you just have to mourn and accept that your person is gone.
OMG, what you said about their stories over time, they rewrite history. For example, my boyfriend and I were discussing how both of us never wanted children. For 2 1/2 years this story in his past never changed then one day he said "oh, me and my first wife tried to have a child by her having her tubes untied, but her doctor said it was not advisable " or something like that. It hits you like a ton of bricks when you realize they don't really have an identity and you don't really know them.
Thank you for your videos. Much appreciated. You are so correct in your observations.
I feel guilty when I know they were lying, better I had not get it:) Thank You!!:))!!
Can you make a video on when a narcissist does something for you ? I experienced a very difficult time yesterday where my narcissistic husband decided to do laundry while stonewalling me after being verbally abusive the night prior. I felt as though him doing this for me was a way of him saying he was sorry for calling me an idiot, retard, crazy, etc. I decided to go out to dinner with him. He got angry because I waved at a waiter and was demanding an explanation. Immediately when he had the chance he used the fact that he did my laundry against me and it was ridiculous. I felt like it was too good to be true and that is why I had thanked him SEVERAL times as he gave me pitiful looks rather than taking accountability for hurting my feelings and calling me names. I would like to really see a video from you on this topic !! It’s confusing and I’m not sure if I’m truly crazy at this point for not wanting to accept nice gestures or gifts because they constantly get thrown in my face when I “fuck up”. If anyone else has experienced anything similar please comment below as well or if you have any advice 😅
I’ve experienced that. Obviously he’s not doing laundry to be nice. He’s doing it to create a weapon that he can use to shame you and insult you. I’ve discussed this in my videos, but I’ll think of how I might do one specifically for this topic. Thanks for the idea!
Start asking why with a very plain faced low emotion way. Like I notice you are doing laundry for me after silent treatment and anger, I do like the laundry being done but can I ask why? What are you communicating to me? This is when the rubber meets the road and how to figure out just how malignant they are. It's probably a peace offering and they want one in return because they never see the need to apologize without also getting one. They have a script in their head and when you went off script at the restaurant the process had to hit restart. It's dysfunctional and disordered and sometimes they know exactly what they're doing and other times they done and are sort of re- enacting things of the past. I hope so e of this helps but if things get out of hand you need to leave before you get hurt physically and accused of affairs and crap just because you waived or smiled at someone...that's too scary
All relationships with a Narcissist are transactional. They NEVER do ANYTHING for ANYONE unless there is something for them to gain by doing so. One of the most important rules when dealing with a Narc. It doesn't matter what they give you. The price tag is too big and never worth it.
@@yulandarowe6166 well said, even in my comment you narrowed it down to transactional motivation. My point is getting them to admit it. And see if they can't and go to gaslighting or rage or whatever. If they will admit a quid pro quo and can verbalize it then they might be lower on scale and lower on malignancy, lean Autism spectrum, immature than toxic. There is possibility there if you can't go no contact and grey rocking gets poor results. Sometimes people dont feel like they can leave the relationships and that's who I am talking to. The ones who are in noncommittal or non family or not a boss and work type thing should leave ASAP, but not everyone can dot hat in a safe way. Don't poke the bear but also don't fool yourself into destroying everything out of knee jerk fear the moment you think you are dealing with a narcissist. They aren't all the same. Some are dangerous sadists and you need to plan carefully and be prepared for blowback no matter what, others are all bark and no bite and once you bore them they ghost anyhow. You need to be smart and try to keep emotions in check, there is time for emotions and healing later. I'm not really you Yulanda, because you seem super well educated, I'm typing to anyone reading this comment thread. Hoping to help people and pay it forward. ❤️
If you can get out, you should. These people only escalate these toxic behaviors. You’ll never get them to admit any wrongdoing against you unless it’s to manipulate further. Your mental and physical health will suffer greatly the longer you’re with them. If you can get out, get out and stay out. It’s for your own well-being.
So many things on point, my ex narc always said I know what you said but you really meant something else LoL, it used to drive me crazy. I would have to choose my words very carefully then explain them forward, backwards, and sideways and hope she didn't want pick a fight that day.
Omg your video was the best!!! Please keep making videos. I had to go for eval and they asked my that if the person I was with continued to contemplate suicide over the course of 10 years marriage how can I keep my International job that required me to travel several times a year. That's a really good question. This video helped explain to me why I continue to stay in this relationship in spite of all the abuse. If a person's never been an abusive relationship I don't know if they could fully understand.
Why didn't have the luxury to stay home because I had to provide for my children. Also there is no instant cure for bad relationship and it takes time which I gave her. And then I believed the lies there's no perfect relationship everybody has issues you're a man you need to take it and you have to deal with it and man up.
Mommy Dearest and then Highjackled
Thank you. You are doing great work. Too bad we’re not all here for some other reason. What a bummer to waste your whole damn life with somebody who is just absolutely a big fat zero. It’s hard to wrap your mind around what these demons are capable of, because when you’re not a sociopath yourself, you give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust anyone ever again. I would’ve never thought he was capable of the things he was doing. It’s mind-boggling.
My ex had a tattoo that read "Trust No One." That should have been my first red flag.
They do lie about everything. Sometines you sit and think "why lie about that?"
My boyfriend's inability to just tell me the truth about his deceit just caused more problems because I already knew the truth.
I have had 2 put up with 3 of them, mother, 2 sisters, all lies, but I never grew up with mother or 1 sister, thank God, so many lies and I am always telling the truth, they all hate me, mother dead but they hate everyone, I just got to know my youngest sister more recently, I be
Believed her when she told me she had all these friends but I know it's not possible now because they can't have friends because they can't get close to anyone, well I am the one who is alone whilst they have partners and children, but I heard their kids hate them, they are horrible people to be around for any length of time! I'd rather be alone w/ my beautiful ragdoll cat!
He tried to tell me that we “bought your parents a house!”
(we didn’t- in fact my parents paid for half of our sons’ tuition, which he also denied).
He told me that I never finish anything I start, while unable to provide an example.
During one of his craziest rants he told me that I had hit him at some point in the past. He told me that straight to my face. I addressed it during marriage counseling and he said
“Well she was standing near me and it felt like it could have been aggressive”. Even after that, he didn’t want to admit that there was a difference between someone hitting a person and just standing near them. I wonder how many people he told his alternate version of reality to, since he so easily told it to me. The one person who knew he was lying.
One thing for sure ..your details are on par...
As always very informative and insightful 😊. Thank you 🙏🏻 😊
Can I just say how infuriating it is when a narcissist tries to tell you how you're feeling, thinking and have remembered things?! Can I get an AMEN if you agree?
Well said. Right on point. 3 thumbs up
Or ‘family is the most important thing to me’….then when you need them….
"It's like they are living in the past". This is my experience living with and being married to an ex-wife I believe suffered from a cluster B disorder. She was quietly, but absolutely, consumed by the negative aspects of "what had happened to her", or "who had done to her".
All of it was completely unprovable, but IMO was an effective strategy to paint herself as the perpetual victim, drawing people in for attention and to provoke their "knight in shining armour" sensibilities
They’re like a carnival worker moving from carnival to carnival-smiling, putting on a show, turning a few cartwheels, swallowing fire. It’s laughable really. A way of life. Until that final curtain drops.
Oh they very much know what they’re doing. Or at least the Machiavellian or malignant ones do. His behavior was about control and specific to the individual. I chose to go to the mental hospital 3 x , which was his goal. It was like a vacation. That’s when I knew I had to go no contact.
Telling a lie makes something a part of the future. Telling the truth makes it a part of the past 😊
This totally explains why my husband was stalking his boss and totally obsessed with catching him with the cashier from work.. His married boss was boinking the cashier.. I was like why do u care so much.. Because proving it and catching him would elevate my husband's guilt or making him feel superior morally because he did that to me 25 years ago..
Very informative! Thank you!!
Liar is their native language...I choose not to learn it. For fear of you reap what you sow.
I met the narc at the end of august in a kind of working group, inmediately felt something wierd about her. Had a good time at the group, was very productive and was rather popular. And at the end of October,, it just happened and we started a 'ship' together. Much of bedtime.
Already after 4 days, I heard her saying at her outdoor place, out of nothing, I was a loser..
Great insight!!! So true ❤
You are great. I listen to your words a lot very truth stuff
This was awesome! I love your content. Keep it coming! ❤
No I have just begun to give them boundaries
Thank You!
I've had a problem...all of my life really with a sister than 10 years my senior. You hit on so many red flags I'm kind of bewildered. I haven't spoke to her in about 2 years and she's so toxic I just can't think of a way to address her. I've come to the conclusion that it's best to just not bother. I know the truth. I can see the facade and the false self. She's done a lot of damage over my lifetime and caused a lot of pain. It's pain to be distant but I haven't had half the anxiety I did when I did speak to her. It's just not worth it.
Great video. Great information. Thank you so much.
My sister is a narcissist too. I am 70,and finally broke free this year, along with her daughter. It weird and difficult because she is family, but I am happier. When my dad passed in March 2020, I knew I no longer had to tolerate her behavior to protect my dad. It took 3 years of me not allowing her behavior which escalated her cruelty to finally end it. I tried so hard to explain and work it out. At least I know I was kind and tried my best. I am now free and it feels good.
Family is worse, we choose
Marriage, just dumb
@@melindasmith3713Yes but if you were raised in a narc family and don't know it you think that your partner's behavior is normal. It was only when I realized that my partner was a narc that I realized that I was raised by narc's.
@@nicolaa9672 yeah I was raised like I was my dad's wife ! Even using me when I left home . He had my mom , she was there, she gave up and he took me . I'm just saying we had a choice in our partner and were dumb to it .
The narcissist wants a servant robot with their mouth, taped shut ….that just nods yes to everything waits on them hand and foot, dishes ,cooking ,pays the bills , cleans up after them …that’s all they want. They don’t want a real relationship. They’re sick! run fast!!!!
I watch her videos, we must dated the same person. You are better then a doctor!
They😂 wanr to destroy your spirit, they are vampires, they seek to destroy you so you never grow ro your potential, they want u to be a being of the night!
This is 100% TRUE. my husband and his family. Lie about things when it's not even necessary.. Lie just to lie.. Oh my gosh.. Yes. He will say "that's not you talking. You sound like your dad or a family member.." I'll say that's weird because my dad doesn't believe what I'm trying to say, he thinks it's a conspiracy also.. My thoughts aren't mine according to him..
My ex narc LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING...But would say he was being so honest about everything....he said i was the liar but could never tell me what I lied about....he would always come out of the blue with things I was doing and would get pissed when i would say......"soooo thats what youre actually doing"....he saw me as the worst person when i would call him out....as i did most of the time until i started to realize it was no point....
Often the real person is a lot more appealing than the false persona they are trying to convince everyone of. I had to let go of 2 "friends" because of their abusive, toxic, parasitic egos. We had lots of fun for many years, but they became so abusive that I was miserable around them. They seemed to attack me the worst when I was going through the WORST time of my life. Does anyone know why some people become ok with themselves problems and all and some people can't and never will?
Omg I could’ve written that thx :)
Yes I'm never in the story .
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Your amazing just found you and subscribed!!!!!
Thank you!
The last time he tried love bombing I cringed so hard. I can’t stand him anymore
I believe myself to be a person with a lot of integrity now, anyway I wonder why i have been thrown into a family of such outrageous lack of integrity, although there are things they wouldn not do, their very life is a lie! There must be a lesson I need to
LEARN, I am very shy with people and keep to myself now!
They wil make up lies about you in their own mind then proceed to treat you like crap for something you actually never did . Huh???😢
Yep this is my boss.