DON'T LET THE NARCISSIST CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS

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  • Опубліковано 12 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 86

  • @rascallyrabbit
    @rascallyrabbit Рік тому +47

    we need to find people who build us up rather than tear us down.

    • @rmcgarra7
      @rmcgarra7 Рік тому +6

      Narcissists out number us.

    • @MsDreya22
      @MsDreya22 3 місяці тому

      Yes 😢

  • @victoriavitoroulis3273
    @victoriavitoroulis3273 Рік тому +16

    This reaction abuse always made me fall into their trap w explaining myself not realising I was feeding the monster 👹

  • @noormohamed2991
    @noormohamed2991 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank YOU for once again sharing this with us. Very helpful indeed! Am pleased that you recognised the abuse in 8 years some of us have spent 34 years! And still struggling 😢😢! You have given such good advice and very helpful tips!🙏

  • @joshuaanzalone2060
    @joshuaanzalone2060 Рік тому +11

    I am remaining no contact from all narcs.

  • @TheRealCompostMan
    @TheRealCompostMan Рік тому +7

    They are in the moment. They don't know what they really think, just that they want you to react. Let them be wrong. .... When you have lived your whole life in the forest you don't know it's shape. Your insights into what is going on are so helpful. Thank you!

  • @watchmeheal1176
    @watchmeheal1176 Рік тому +17

    It’s called deflection/ they MUST get the shame OUT of their vicinity. If you threatened their grandiose self- YOU are the abuser and they WILL hurt you!! The abuse WILL escalate!! If they see a certain ‘thing’ upsets you, they will use that and escalate to places you never even knew existed!!!

  • @CTSCAPER
    @CTSCAPER Рік тому +14

    It takes time to get better at not reacting. I am getting better at it but still have a way to go. Rather than getting angry with yourself for reacting turn your anger to compassion for yourself. You are already getting attacked by a toxic person. There is no need to attack yourself more.
    I first saw your channel a week or two ago. It amazes me how well you understand narcissism and you seem to be at a point where you are resistant to narcissists. Thank you for sharing the information and showing we can come through it stronger than before.

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  Рік тому +3

      It is an ongoing practice to improve our ability to not react. I like how you point out that we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for not getting it perfect all the time. It can be so hard to do sometimes. Thanks for watching!

    • @kimlarso
      @kimlarso 10 місяців тому +1

      Yes👉”Respond not React!”❤

    • @howdyhow2
      @howdyhow2 9 місяців тому

      same

  • @sueayres494
    @sueayres494 Рік тому +17

    I think it teaches us to listen to our intuition telling us something isn't right, having the courage to take a stand for ourselves, set boundaries and say no to what doesn't feel right to us, not to them.

    • @selfesteem3447
      @selfesteem3447 Рік тому +3

      Every one of us can look back and we did identify on how in the beginning our Soul knew something was wrong with these CRITTERS.
      I didn't learn anything on NARCISSISM until I was 50 yrs old.

  • @Winner1-c2u
    @Winner1-c2u Рік тому +6

    I'd tell him to grab me some donuts in my healed state. Thanks for your videos.

  • @bhabi7071
    @bhabi7071 Рік тому +6

    Please never apologize for the "poo poo head" toddler metaphor. It is so perfect and so true.
    I NEVER tire of it, or cease to smile hearing it
    CONGRATULATIONS on your upcoming marriage.
    You deserve a wonderful relationship!

  • @Inkironnrum
    @Inkironnrum Рік тому +26

    Been saying this all along. Works like a charm. Before the previous woman I became close with, I watched hundreds if not thousands of NA videos for three years. At least two hours per day.
    By the time I began this close bind with this woman, I was fully ready with the knowledge I had gained. She tried to pull all this crap on me and every single one of her antics failed.
    I have been commenting everywhere with the do not allow anyone to lead you with their emotions. It’s emotional and spiritual abuse to the core.

    • @tathe3786
      @tathe3786 Рік тому +1

      You mad it wow 🤩 wonderful

  • @daynaschmalenberg2291
    @daynaschmalenberg2291 Рік тому +21

    OMG this is so spot on! I really appreciate your videos. When I listen to them it is very therapeutic and helps me realize that I am not alone, and that I'm not crazy!

    • @BigRebel0802
      @BigRebel0802 7 місяців тому +1

      THEY are crazy 😜. Not us.

  • @amothergoddess2774
    @amothergoddess2774 Рік тому +9

    WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE CRUELTY SHE INFLICTED ON ME, IT MAKES ME REALLY ANGRY! SHE IS 4 YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME AND WE ARE IN OUR 60'S NOW, REALLY OLD RIGHT! SHE LIKES TO TREAT ME LIKE I'M A MORON, TALKING TO ME LIKE I'M 2 YEARS OLD, ITS A COMPETITION AND SHE IS WINNER, I HATE HER SO MUCH NOW, EVEN MORE THAN I HATE MY OTHER NARC. SISTER, SHE THOUGHT SHE GOT CONTROL OF ME WHEN I BECAME EXTREMELY ILL, 6 MONTHS IN HOSPITAL, I NEED TO NEVER LET HER BACK INTO MY LIFE, SHE IS POISON, THE ACT SHE PUTS ON IS VERY GOOD, YOU'D NEVER GUESS HOW NASTY THIS WOMAN IS, MY ADVICE TO ANYONE IS GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE, IT'LL DESTROY YOU! THANKS FOR YOUR VIDS!

  • @victoryamartin9773
    @victoryamartin9773 7 місяців тому +4

    After I tried to set up a plan for my homeless houseguests to find another place to live, the husband approached me as I was preparing for bedtime and screamed at me for what felt like a couple hours about how I don't appreciate his wife, even to the extent of imposing a fine on me if I ever try to speak to her again. His screaming incapacitated me from attempting to defend myself, so I spent the time considering how insane this man was sounding and actually began fearing that he would murder me if given the opportunity. Looking back on the event 5 months later, having lived no contact in the same house, their being more entrenched than ever in determination not to leave, I understand that the initial attack was not a cry for appreciation but a ploy to terrorize me into compliance with their intentions to take over my house, which they have done. From that, I learned that what comes out of their mouth is not the issue, but it will reveal the intentions of their heart.

    • @miraclesforus
      @miraclesforus 3 місяці тому

      What are you waiting for you ??????you know you need a lawyer to evict them.

  • @ardent9422
    @ardent9422 Рік тому +6

    I once stayed with a narcissistic uncle and cousin, I cooked dinner for them every couple nights for 3 months, then one day all of a sudden I was accused of only cooking for myself and using all their food, even though they ate most of the food that I cooked. What they didn't know is that I took pictures of all the meals that I cooked, I didn't share those pictures with them but I shared them with other family members in case my uncle tried to slander me, which he did, by claim that I ate all his food and searched his room, because of the photos I took other family members didn't believe him. I would also absolutely NEVER search another person's room in the way that he made it seem, it's accusations like this one that are really hard to let them be wrong about.

  • @stacygyuricza2187
    @stacygyuricza2187 Рік тому +6

    When they are talking shit about you to others is worse than them just coming at you. Most people can be so enabling to the narc.

  • @ritajohannessen9804
    @ritajohannessen9804 Рік тому +9

    This is the best I have ever heard, about narccisism! I started to pray to come to clearity, I felt I was in some kind of deception. The other experts just keep talking about how evil they are , but this makes more sense. This is spot on- light and truth.

  • @brendalentsch2335
    @brendalentsch2335 Рік тому +11

    This video is incredible, and by far has been in my opinion.. the most helpful and insightful of all narcissistic videos i have ever watched! I can't thank u enough for your insight and advice on this topic. I am sorry for all you have suffered in your past, to become so knowledgable on this topic, but i am extremely grateful that you have turned your negative situation into something so positive to help others. You are a very wise young lady for your sufferings. So much great advice and lightbulb moments and practical advice in this particular video, i had to save it to watch it again, because i will need to be reminded on occasion so i never forget....you are a beautiful person....thank you again so, so much❤

  • @ginamiller8554
    @ginamiller8554 Рік тому +6

    Excellent… hearing your explanations it seems that the narcissist is truly like a very unruly child trying to act out just to have a sense of dominance … sad stuff… they must feel very unsafe in the world… but project it out onto their target… & try to make them feel unsafe instead

  • @LRuth-vl9sy
    @LRuth-vl9sy Рік тому +10

    Dealing with all of this right now. Thank you so much.
    Love you.

  • @zion367
    @zion367 Рік тому +5

    Exactly... let them think what they want. You get it!

  • @michaelqueen440
    @michaelqueen440 Рік тому +14

    You're awesome! Very clear and organized...and that is exactly what is needed to combat the confusion that comes along with a relationship with a narcissist. Thank you for your awesome work

  • @sueayres494
    @sueayres494 Рік тому +5

    First t tme I"ve heard the trigger issue described so perfectly! What I thought, but no one validated before! Thank you!!

  • @TobiDilz
    @TobiDilz Рік тому +2

    Amazing insight 😳

  • @user-ky1rd4wf7z
    @user-ky1rd4wf7z 8 місяців тому +3

    Does not matter, he is an adult. If no food at home, he is responsible to stock food too. If he gets mad bec of “no food”, haha, he should be mad at himself for incapable of taking care of himself. Period!

  • @ianarn
    @ianarn Рік тому +2

    My ex girlfriend would go absolutely mental if you answered someone on a group chat 2 or 3 hours before you answered her! She was even like it with her female friends cold shouldering them for days.

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk 11 місяців тому +3

    It s all delusions and perceptions

  • @jenniferyates8100
    @jenniferyates8100 Рік тому +3

    A great video, thank you. Everything you have said resonates with me, going through this at the moment. Thank you for your good advice, appreciate it. ⭐👍💯

  • @gregorynicholls9991
    @gregorynicholls9991 Рік тому +7

    Thanks again, been with you from the beginning. I am always in awe at your dedication to heal humanity. The difference between you and others is that not only can one understand you clearly,but I can feel you,I feel your dedication and love for humanity. I see a strong lady with lots of faith. The channel had a rough start...look at it now. I feel so good for you. Remember I can see it,you are a Wonderwall. I think understanding narcissist and psychopathy is the transition into Superherodom . We need your type to build the new world so take good care of yourself.

  • @crystalgomez8040
    @crystalgomez8040 Рік тому +12

    i just wanted to say that i absolutely love your videos! you do such a great job at explaining these things! and i can relate to and understand and have personally experienced so much of the things that i've heard from you in many of your videos explaining how narcissists think and operate. It is so insanely crazy but very true and real. but what you've said in a lot of your videos is the best i've ever heard before in some ways about narcissists and how they really think and are, and i just really enjoy listening to what you have to say about everything so thanks for doing what you do!

    • @leannethomas9797
      @leannethomas9797 Рік тому +1

      It's so nice to know that I am not crazy 😅 that someone else gets it.

    • @crystalgomez8040
      @crystalgomez8040 Рік тому +1

      @@leannethomas9797 lol you're not crazy at all, but they sure are! and i've been dealing with some really extremely crazy and insane things with them that i feel like almost no one else would understand or even believe for 5 years now..but i'm moving towards a better life however i can day by day

  • @tutyadry
    @tutyadry Рік тому +4

    i descovered you today, i like how you expose the situations and i understand you, i been there too for 13 years , but God took me out from there and i wish you that God bless you !

  • @KleeKaiBreeders
    @KleeKaiBreeders Рік тому +1

    Excellent video✅

  • @watchmeheal1176
    @watchmeheal1176 Рік тому +3

    My toxic spouse of 23yrs has told me repeatedly that he MUST hurt me before I hurt him.

  • @kellye.274
    @kellye.274 Рік тому +4

    I am so glad I found your channel.

  • @KH-mq4rg
    @KH-mq4rg Рік тому +3

    This video helped a lot! You understand this better than most psychologists! Many thanks 😊

  • @lrpolo
    @lrpolo Рік тому +4

    Thank you, this happens to me all the time and we’re divorced 😭

  • @WilGoudswaard
    @WilGoudswaard 5 місяців тому +1

    You always say you are not a professional but to me you are ♥️

  • @selfesteem3447
    @selfesteem3447 Рік тому +6

    A NARCISSIST will NEVER participate in life.
    There is NO CURE for NARCISSISM.

  • @garyharris4366
    @garyharris4366 Рік тому +4

    Thank You for this video. It definitely helped. I just been struggling with internalizing what my covert EX has been saying about me since we separated. She's very passive aggressive and ignored my attempt to hash things out with her.

  • @peteradam4151
    @peteradam4151 8 місяців тому +1

    Very, very important knowledge! Thank you so much!

  • @dnorris724
    @dnorris724 22 дні тому

    I have view hundreds of videos and countless hours of all the UA-camrs dr Ramani, Lee H, and many others over 4 years wondering about my relationship with an incredibly beautiful drop dead gorgeous woman that I loved. Which cause me as a man to be blinded even more! Come on fells you know what I mean! The beauty the love it hooks us guys! This video is the most eye opening and helpful I’ve ever seen! Seriously thank you so much and If the publisher of this video is reading this I’ll agree to come on live videos and talk to you about my experiences. I think people need to know this that is going thru this because it is absolutely crazy and it ruins you as a person and makes you so anxious and every negative feeling you can feel!

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 7 місяців тому +1

    The Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis of Psychologist Hobart Mower in the 1950s says that frustration is the result of being blocked from reaching a goal, leading to higher and higher levels of aggression, sometimes leading to violence. And gut queeziness. Knowing this in dealing with a narc, I figure the best practical thing to do for me is to have no expected goal in their behavior! Just view any encounter with a narc as watching a phenomenon of nature, like watching a falling star . Expect nothing. Just watch in curiosity. Say, hmmm. That’s funny 😆. Belly laughs relieve the queeziness like laughing at a joke. Which they are!! Mocking laughter 😂

  • @kathyschneider5443
    @kathyschneider5443 6 місяців тому +1

    This is so hard. Thank for stressing how normal it is to want to react and defend ourselves. I'd love to hear advice about how to deal with a narcissist during a divorce. When to get a lawyer. How much a lawyer can do if have limited money. How to negotiate without losing your mind. I still get so hurt by the narcissist's lack of care! Money is king! Everything I scripted and saved and drove across town to get used from fb market place is now his to take? How and why? I put so much time and energy into getting things cheap so he wouldn't explode at me for spending money. Now those things are his? I'm so upset. Of course it doesn't make sense. It still hurts.

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 7 місяців тому +1

    Excellent advice!! And insight!!

  • @SuperBlakes2
    @SuperBlakes2 4 місяці тому

    Thank you. This is helping untwist the confusion.😊

  • @Rooster75
    @Rooster75 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for your videos. That have kept me grounded. You are a blessing!
    Do you have any videos regarding when a narcissist descends into delusional disorder?

    • @LookingBehindtheMirror
      @LookingBehindtheMirror  Рік тому +1

      Not specifically. I actually have not heard of that but I can look into it.

    • @Rooster75
      @Rooster75 Рік тому +1

      @@LookingBehindtheMirror thank you!

  • @Joseph-fc6ll
    @Joseph-fc6ll 25 днів тому

    I believe a big reason narcissists frustrate non narcs so much is because by nature most humans. try to be logical in our way of thinking and we try to apply this logical way of thinking to our daily interactions with, narcissists but this does not work in most cases because as the young lady in these videos states many many times, narcs emotions 9 times out of 10 will override whatever logic and reasonable thinking that they mave have within them .

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk 11 місяців тому +2

    😂😂😂😂😂 your right it s non sense😊

  • @Julia-ej4jz
    @Julia-ej4jz Рік тому +2

    Thank you very much 🌺🌺🌺

  • @Dastardly_X
    @Dastardly_X Рік тому +1

    🙏🏻 🌟 🙏

  • @moonchild-thirty-thr33
    @moonchild-thirty-thr33 Рік тому +2

    I'm so untrusting of people now because of my narc ex. How do I overcome this so I stop sabotaging my relationships?

  • @fatimaahmed445
    @fatimaahmed445 6 місяців тому

    Thank you very helpful bless you

  • @katarzynaklocek8881
    @katarzynaklocek8881 7 місяців тому

    Thank you so much♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

  • @joelrotiago3308
    @joelrotiago3308 Рік тому

    Thank you

  • @Horizon25
    @Horizon25 6 місяців тому

    Get your life back empaths

  • @eshita7390
    @eshita7390 2 місяці тому

    OMG yes

  • @annabanzon313
    @annabanzon313 4 місяці тому

    I suspect my hubby is a narc, but not the obvious malignant kind.

  • @SoniaProteau-cj6tk
    @SoniaProteau-cj6tk 11 місяців тому +3

    😂😂😂😂😂 😂

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 7 місяців тому

    😂😂😂😂😂 Exactly!

  • @BigRebel0802
    @BigRebel0802 7 місяців тому

    Narcs don’t live in reality 😮

  • @noormohamed2991
    @noormohamed2991 11 місяців тому +1

    And please don't apologise for repeating the content because it only helps to reinforce the message! This is such a difficult situation to be in x❤

  • @vinitawagh3223
    @vinitawagh3223 6 місяців тому

    Thank you so much 🙏🙏❤️❤️