Narcissist Uses You (Starts
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- Опубліковано 25 лис 2024
- Topic Starts 16:20. In early childhood, borderlines and narcissists fail to split the “dead mother” into good and bad objects or “breasts” (because she is all bad), so they split themselves instead (into a true self which is all bad, and a false self which is all good).
The narcissist tries to complete the early failed maternal splitting with his intimate partner (repetition compulsion) in three stages: 1. She is all good (idealization), he is all bad; 2. Co-idealization (if she is good, he must be good, too); and 3. Introjection (internalization/incorporation of the partner) which render him all good.
The narcissist constantly tests his intimate partner in order to make sure that she is, indeed, all good (an outcome of post-traumatic hypervigilance).
When she invariably and inevitably fails his tests, he reverses course: she is now all bad. To avoid narcissistic injury to his grandiose false self and to avoid co-devaluation - he discards her promptly.
Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: www.amazon.com...
It’s so weird feeling simultaneously sad for and resentful of the narcissist
I could see this horribly broken, inner child inside my narcissist... my heart aches for who I saw in there, but he broke me.
The minute you interacted with the narcissist you have been body snatched
Nah u can learn boundaries
As a young man,my stage ten narcissist mother body snatched me.I know this because, I've got low self esteem.And I always will,As of today my narcissist mother hasn't changed.My mother today is became worst. Sam , thank you
Still a fun ufo
The sad thing about falling into their clutches is they can cause people to neglect other responsibilities. So basically other people suffer when we fall into these people clutches because they can no longer rely on who we were because now we're acting like a freaking fool for the freaking narc
Yes, it really complicated some of my friendships. I would wait for him, become depressed and reclusive. Because of him, almost gave up hobbies.. I felt like my insides were gone. And it’s not likeI was spending all kinds of time with him. He disappeared a lot. I was a zombie.
@@dianevanderlinden3480 how long did it take you to get over this horrible feeling
@@globalprincess489 4 months after last disappearance and now in anger stage. Constructive anger tho.
Sad but true
@@globalprincess489 Well I have a bit of an update. It's been a year since I've spent any time with him. Back in November I was cleaning out some stuff and found some small items he had left at my place. About 2 months before that he texted me to 'feel free to let me know if you ever want to hang out with me again.' What? So I could text and call and get no answer ? I was going to throw the things out, but I thought let me send it to his workplace (which is a bar ,lol) just so he sees I want to forget him. They were small items, and that's the best 5 bucks I have spent in a long time. For the return address I used my UPS box and no name. He probably thought he was getting a present. Oh well dude.
The interesting feature of narcissism is that the apparently self absorbed individual is not actually connected to themselves at all, but to an infantile illusion of themselves which is unresolved by mirroring and interaction with a trusted 'other'. Unfortunately the prospect of abandoning this protective carapace is terrifying to the extent that it can never be bought into consciousness. So the narcissist is doomed to live in a strange parasitic world of fantasy and illusion which unfortunately can have disastrous consequences for those who interact with them if they themselves are unaware of the mechanisms at work.
you just explained my ex to a tee!
I am a 60 year old daughter of narcissist parents and a younger sister. I followed you and kept rewinding the video as I closed my eyes and pictured the times I saw my family behave just as you described. Even as a young child I couldn’t understand their behavior. They were school teachers. My grandmother filled the gap for my care and I always felt she was more like my actual mother. I thank you for helping me understand why they did the things they did, even until death. My mother died 7 months ago, still true to her narcissistic self. Fortunately my sister lives far away so I deal with her seldom. There are others in our family among the cousins who have all the narcissist traits, but no contact is necessary there. I am feeling a sigh of relief that my children and I steered clear of wanting to be with “people like that” for our life partners, and are free. Knowing and seeing what happened is sweet comfort after all these years. Thank you. ⭐️
I knew very early in relationship my now ex was a child inside. The action that sealed and validated my suspicion was out of nowhere he wept and threw back his head and wailed...”I neeeedddd yoouuu!” I knew without a doubt that something was terribly wrong. I feel so incredibly sorry for him ....but after 5 years I had to move on after going through the cyclic NPD playlist several times. I do not hate him...I somehow knew it was his mother who messed him up. Your video has helped me to understand more clearly what I already knew but did not know how to put it all together in words. Thank you.
Same. I feel incredibly sorry for them. The whole thing’s heartbreaking but try to help and they only pull you under with them unfortunately.
Same here. Time with Ex was just much shorter.
@@jullietmburu9672 🤢 wow, so sorry you experienced that. I would retch.
Something very similar happened to me. Mine once threatened to throw a fit on the floor of a store if I didn’t buy him sweeties (candy). He was 25. I kid you not. It’s funny how similar these people can behave.
My ex at the time was 58 years old when he displayed this first child-like behavior. At 60, I found him in the fetal position after breaking things after the loss of his favorite FB team.
What a pleasure to listen to a person with such a wonderful vocabulary in what I assume is not your native tongue.
The Vaknin Horror Show 😅 Aka "A History of Personal Relationships", or "Why I Am a Hermit/Single Forever".
@@sojoy4463 👏👏👏👏
@@jullietmburu9672 uh is 0⁰a the ⁹9and ⁰⁰p
"I couldn't split mommy so I split myself." Wow...
There is a possibility that mother will not let the child realize that she is bad, she will always say that all her problems are due to the child, when she becomes hapy rarely, the child will think that he must have done something good, when she is angry, abusive, frustated etc which is quite often, it will because of the child only. Mother will always substantiate that she is good because she is a mother and she will not do any bad, even to the point of not accepting her obvious day to day mistakes.
Is this why birthdays and holidays are so sucky with a narcissist because these are times of testing?
You opened my eyes to see what I have been through for these past 10 years! He has been using me in many ways. It is such an unbearable torment to be with a narcissist!
Mind blowing, most profound explanation! Btw love your jokes and sharp humour
This is one of the most amazing videos about narcissism that I ever seen!!!.
Absolutely brilliant. So glad I watched this video. So much content on narcissism only shows the abuse they perpetrate. Understanding the mechanisms like this is very eye opening and leads to much more objective thinking. Thank you.
It does but I hope u know u can’t be with ThEm tho
1❤
My God man this is unlocking so many things I've lived with since I was born. Thank you Sam.
Now I know how to name it when the term 'introject' applies to mass medias' influence on people's lives. TV does it deliberately and nowadays it's easy to tell which channel one watches once they speak :)
Thank you so much Sam, for another brilliant teaching video. I have learnt so much from you about myself and others in such a short amount of time.
Now I can successfully navigate my life through the tricks and traps of people who are the pretenders.
May you receive great abundance from freely sharing your knowledge.
Take care.
The Dr Jekyll analogy was mind blowing. For the first time I can truly see that I am, and have always been responsible for all my unconscious and conscious actions, which has always been the true reality. Ty, for helping me take full responsibility for myself. 💛
Wow! Thank you for a great lecture, prof. Vaknin! I got a huge heureka moment.
Kiitos paljon!
My ex narc always talked to himself in third person😕
Mine, uses his name. Don't play games with Paul instead of saying 'with me...lol
This explains the prolonged awful stares I endured while working in Taiwan,when in public spaces where I was forced to share spaces with men...or women..mostly men.The most horrific shameless unnatural stares I just couldnt deal with it anymore.This explains a lot of weird reactions even in meeting men and some women.This explains why I was seen as being "so beautiful" no matter what reality was.So much emphasis on beauty,but no depth.I even started blaming myself for not enduring it and not becoming accepting to it.This helps with healing.Thank you.Initially everything is calm and feels normal in your work space or living space and slowly but surely this uncomfortable feeling builds up to en extent where it is ready to explode.Weird things that dont go unnoticed.I guess many people dont pick up on this (especially men) who are not exposed to thisas much as women are.Very interesting and fascinating how it is explained away by projection.You are always made to feel guilty in any way possible.Equally fascinating how a majority of certain so-called professional foreigners (even women)choose countries where they know their psychological makeup will fit in and they can project onto others and derive sadist pleasure by knowing full well what happens in reality,but can play their fake games to their own advantage. It is clear that people derive super pleasure from the downfall of others.I love the moment when true colors come out.When fakes show their fakeness.
My narc spoke about himself as “we”
60 is the new 40. I am 61 and I am living my best life with my life time of experience, success and attained wisdom. Take that you millenials.
Maybe this is why my ex’s therapist who said he’s a Narcissist (but she didn’t say covert. She used another term that meant secret or hidden type) said she also thought he might have multiple personalities. His main topic was his Mom’s behaviors, who had passed 10 years before, but he also flipped between a childlike behavior to a blaming angry, but still charming towards her, grown man in his mid 40s. He was completely unwilling to admit blame for his own actions and felt it was the world around him holding him back and/or suppressing his talents and success.
Vulnerable Narcissist
Victim narc
תודה פרופסור ועקנין על כול המידע! זה תמיד מעניין ומענג להקשיב לך 😊
Thanks for one more very informative Video. I wait for and watch your videos end to end - and some parts more than once (to take notes) - Mechanism of switching was thought provoking. Look forward to your next video on contempt.
I was writing my question and heard Sam answer in my head, thank you Sam. 1:04:07
Love This Guy!! Always So Intriguing and Well Spoken!
Been following your significant work, Dr Vaknin. Thank you very much for so clearly explain the concept of splitting. Help me better understand how to deal with covert narcissists.
I thought the discard was to successfully seperate from thier mother, having turned the partner into a mother figure???
That's what I thought as well.
Thank You Master 😎❤🙏🌼
So well done, precise, fascinating.
Some professors were so fascinating I didn't have to take notes. They turn a different part of my brain on and I remember very clearly every concept if not every word. I wonder what that is? It has to be a topic of fascination to both me and the teacher. It's possible that it's a type of hypnosis or something that I can remember the words after hearing them once but I will remember these type of lectures long after the rest of education fades away. I've only had one other professor so fascinating before I found Sam's work here. Brilliant!!!!!!!
That's so deep and enlightening.💡 Thank you for your lectures.
1:17 I didn't just imagine the words; I said them out loud, in your accent!
@@raegirl5551 Are we being brainwashed? :o
This is so enlightening.
60 is the new 50!
60 is the pits, trust me.
@@samvaknin I concur
I am 65 and I love it 😊. Every day is unrepeatable and a gift🙏
@@oileengrace8228 Amen
@@samvaknin You look great, younger than 60. Funny, you: 21 April, me: 20 April two years later 😊
This is another great video, I've learned interesting new things 👌🏻 Thanks to your videos I know my now ex boyfriend better than he knows himself. All your information about narcissism was an eyeopener and helpt me to end the relationship. I also found out that my ex husband, from 35 years ago, was a narcissist. All pieces of the puzzle of that horrible 7 years of marriage did fall in to the right place. Thank you for your educational videos 👌🏻Kind regards from Amsterdam🌷
Thank you so much ! Vous êtes passionnant. Merci de partager avec nous !
Sam, you are my favorite introject.
When I say someone “is already old” what I mean is old before their time. So I understood the implication to be that at sixty, Descartes was seemingly much older.
@Angela van Erp. I agree with you. And that interpretation is pretty much confirmed by the context, in my opinion.
60 years on this earth is lucky Sam vaulkin
You could of died younger than your age
and none of us lost souls
would of had the pleasure and blessing of knowing you
And listening too your fascinating discussions
Aparantly we will be living till one hundred and twenty before long
Your only half way there my dear
A mere spring chicken in this world
Plenty more videos knowledge and chats and years ahead of you
Thank the Lord
I want a clone of you
or a robot
too sit in my house
and talk too me all day
and educate me with your amazing knowledge and insight
And how you explain human behaviour
and the world we live in
I wish I could of accessed these videos and got this information. as a teenager
God Would my life of panned out differently
You are amazing and have saved so many people in abusive situations
You don't just look at the abuser but you make us examine ourselves with a fine tooth comb as too why we would allow
the abuse too take place in the first place
And too try and understand it for what it is
And what is it that needs too be healed and examined and rectifyed internally
I know for sure that with the help of your videos
a person like that would never enter my life again
As I can see very clearly who they are and what there motives are
You do so much for humanity kind sir 😁🌺😁💐😁🌷
And of course let's not forget your other half beautiful Minnie
You know what they say behind every great man is a great women
Flowers for Minnie 🌸🐁🌺🐀💐🐭🌹🐀🌺🐁🏵️
I would love to hear your commentary on the Filicidal mother (or father), Sam. It's a topic that many therapists avoid discussing even though it's fairly common these days (with or without the suicidal parent).
@samvaknin
What happens if the narcissist fails at testing and the partner remains good? Or does the narcissist already see her as the bad one because of his inner dialect and interpretation of her. Like even if she remains good and doesn't fail the testing stage. He will split her anyways to be all bad??....
I want to know why do we keep repeating this cycle over and over. I feel I have been discarded MANY times. Tested and split. The relationship ends, and some time later we start again...
Watch the shared fantasy playlist.
Teaching myself to be an intro-jester and auto-muse! Thank you, Sam V!
You're back to black. This gonna be deep. Something I was wondering lately is, how is the dream life of a narcissist? I mean while sleeping, does the false self is persistent there?
samvak.tripod.master.com/texis/master/search/?q=dream
@@samvaknin thank you so much.
Proj. Ident. explains - perhaps - my fear of any form of imprisonment. That's how I perceive it
My ex only revealed his "bad" dreams to me the ones in which I had another lover or I was leaving. If I asked him about his dreams he claimed he didn't dream at all while sleeping. I always thought that odd I relish my dream states
Wow. I never understood how my husband can, in a matter of hours, talk himself into being absolutely enraged at me for actions / feelings / thoughts that are not mine. Then proceed to see me as the ultimate bad guy and punish me as such. Introjection. Well, shit.
No remorse whatsoever, ever. & They don't distinguish fantasy fr reality. Difficult to engage with em.
I completed the sentences aloud xD
Me too 🤦🏻♀️
lolllll
I was wondering then, if the intimate partner fails the test and can’t be their mommy, why do narcissist hoover the failed mommy back after some time? Can she really retake the test again?
@sylwiaprzezw7581 All of the narcissists (in)significant others live on in his mind as introjects. His repetition compulsion causes him to re-idealize (Hoover) past partners in times of need for narcissistic supply (or the three “s’s”). Unless a past partner has caused mortification to the narcissist, he could potentially Hoover them at anytime in the future. This is why “no contact” is imperative and Sam urges all to implement it if at all possible. Anytime a partner returns to the shared fantasy (fake relationship) with a narcissist, it is a repeat of every other entanglement and maybe worse. There is no happy ending or resolution with them. They are destined to remain on the hamster wheel that is their life of repeating failed relationships again and again, just changing out the partners. We were merely placeholders or numbers in the line of many. Losing the narcissist or leaving the narcissist was the greatest blessing, although difficult for a while.
You are hilarious but I mostly watch your videos in their entirety to get insight on how to best love my narcissistic husband. Maybe narcissist is just a shorter way to say “lovable asshole”. My husband says everyone considers him to be solely the latter half of that expression but I would like to focus on the lovable part of him which might not exist in his mind but will never leave mine.
See, I am such a co-dependent, I even think I could save you- and love you to health. 🤒😢 But oh, I just recalled that I am the sick one.
Sound like perfect supply to me😋
I thought the same thing about my partner. If I babied him enough, If I was super sweet to him all the time, that it could meet his childhood needs and he might change. That didn't work at all and it made me even more hurt because he didn't care or appreciate anything. So I eventually just started doing the minimum necessary for a relationship. He got upset when he stopped getting love notes and fresh baked cookies, etc. I told him that he discourages that with his rudeness and cruel careless ways. I was always worshipping him while he barely acted interested. But if I pulled back he would get upset I tried to explain that relationships are a two way street but he doesn't understand or care. And we have an age gap relationship which makes it even weirder with his immature, childish behavior. He supposed to be the one I look up to and learn from, but he's even more immature that guys my own age.
Really enjoyed this video. In a very broad and loose way, it might also explain the opioid effect and reliance on religion for most people in the world. God, as not in oneself but at a safe distance, and yet an externalized projection of the (delusional or wished for) self.
Without the belief of potential hope, the human mind has no reason to live. Why take it from others, lose it or give it away?
Genius
Is then devaluation phase a manifesto of a baby finally switching the roles and becoming now the all good baby?
Dr.Vaknin thank you for all the information you provide us with. I was wondering regarding the concept of snapshot - would the snapshot a narcissistic mother creates of her child be (and forever remain) that of the infant, or would it be an entirely made up image, especially for the scapegoat? Thank you.
Narcissists snapshot only potential partners in shared fantasies (in business, romantic relationships, friendships, etc.)
Thank you! That clarifies the issue!
A question about narcissists vs psychopathic narcissists within object relations theory-If narcissists have only internal objects and psychopaths have only external objects, do psychopathic narcissists have both internal and external objects?
Psychopathic (malignant) narcissists are psychopathic only in the sense that they display antisocial traits and behaviors. They are not psychopath in the full-fledged, psychodynamic sense.
Thank you !
Sam, Thank you very much for helping to dive into the unfortunate personality disorder occurrences. I unbooked my psychotherapist ever since I discovered your lectures. You are exceptionally deep into finding the art of words to explaining the unspeakable disease of the mind. My question now is - 1. Since a covert narcissist internalized the object much more than the psychopath do, does a covert narcissist become more like a walking zombie when the object imposes no contact ? 2. Question is - Since a convert narcissist internalize the object, do a narcissist think that the internalized object would feel the way he would when he abuses ?
I am not equipped with the terms of the disordered personality, but I hope you understand my questions.
1- Watch the videos about mortification 2-Yes.
Are those pocket doors? Because that molding is lovely.
Great video as usual! I learn so much from your videos and they provide so many answers to questions I have always wanted to ask my narcissistic dad and narc-sadistic brother but wouldn't be able to ask! I have downloaded some of your pdfs too and I always give you credit when I talk about narcissistic abuse and malignant narcissism - I am a true "Vakninist"! I will also purchase your book soon. 😊 I want to start digging into the subject of malignant narcissism on a more serious level, who is your favorite source of knowledge about your own field of expertise?
On malignant narcissism there is no one like Kernberg (he also coined the phrase).
@@samvaknin thanks, then I start my deeper research with you, then go to Kernberg!
Must listen a second time. Very densley packed with information. I would love to read the Hans Blintzhaur ? Spelling?? On 6 impulses of self expression...
Thank you, always rewarding to listen, I learn more about our human experience.
Sam if the mother is all bad and they don't develop gray areas to their thinking what age would they be stuck at in life? Thank you. Great video!
Im keen to see his answer but i'd imagine that they get stuck at the same age as the trauma? But let's see Sams take on it!
I have answered this question in at least 9 videos in the past three months alone. Quit wasting my time!
2 to 9 years old
I'm scared of my covert narcissist. We're separated and living together until financials have been decided on. I think I'm feeling this way because my gut says he's planning on something bad. He's doing odd things like going through my stuff, reading my personal mail, damaging certain things that are mine. Q: Should I be scared or is he just a small child having tantrums and therefore harmless?
I'd like to know how Dr V answers this. You're likely in a psychosis but if no one is validating you, you're pretty much fucked.
Watch the videos about persecutory objects. Still: take all precautions and prepare for the worst. Better safe than sorry!
Be afraid
Mine just did the unbelievable to me.
Be very afraid
Your fear is understandable because they are always plotting. But every time I go into prayer about these people they end up getting triple exposed. There is a Precinct that has been harassing my son as well as others including myself they were just on the news the other day because one of them is in trouble for child pronography. So while they are attacking us God sends Karma on them and they get caught in a whole different area
@@elizabethreeves2563Hope things worked out.
Sam, I don't think I understand the full meaning behind the mother seemingly churning out borderlines and narcissists. My son was diagnosed with bpd 3 times over but seems to also have co occuring narcissist traits. He is more of the grandiose variety. My husband is of the covert. Am I considered the dead mother? Is it because I failed in protecting him?
BPD has a strong genetic component and brain abnormalities (akin to autism). NPD is more environmental and the mother plays a crucial role in its pathogenesis.
Thank you Sam.
He and she can be interchanged, correct? As in, she the narcissist.
Yes samvak.tripod.com/faq34.html
Thank you Professor Vaknin
I really did complete the sentences in my head :D
Bought your books on apple thanks so much
Does that mean all narcissists are created because of cruel/abusive moms?
Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.
Sam - how do u stop the grieving? What r the steps to recover from complex grief?
I got your sense of humor.
We would do a lot better if we start thinking of narcissism as a disability rather than a disorder.
As their mindset is ability psychosis it is better to see it as an obsessional disorder, although its fearfull neurosis is a sort of disability. Awareness parameter is the 'fork stick'. What must control value has to be subject to it.
Is it possible that there is a subconscious part of the narcissist that retains the true self that may voice himself during sleep or hypnosis?
No. The True Self is hard bricked (look it up).
@@samvaknin will do - Thank you
Thank you for interesting video
narcs sooo i am borderline i have such trpuble staying ftom narcisitic petson it islike the awful exitement wen hes hpt on me but the horrfifykng pain pnce disguareded i can spell i have a poorly neck i love ur talks ur like addictive becuease we get wat it is u make tbe narcisostis seem less powerful whitch hflps thankupu
Sir does blocking them on all social media is a part of no contact? Or will it inflate their ego?
I am confused if blocked the person will think he is all powerful and still has his grasp on me.
Z G
Blocking them isn’t about them. It’s about you protecting yourself. IMHO it doesn’t matter what the narcissist thinks, it’s what you need to do to protect yourself regardless of their ego. They don’t have a grasp on you, once you stop giving them supply. I hope that makes sense.
@@blissfullyfree8536 yup! Thanks! Have blocked him on all social media just 2 days back.
Sam, do narcissist's include their children in their stages of shared fantasy?
Absolutely they do. Everyone is open for narc business 😅
Not all the time, mostly until adolescence samvak.tripod.com/faq22.html
I would like to know if this childs splitting is possible before the age of one year..when it was left by biological mother after birth and adopted as one y.o. probably by good mother..
Splitting can start as early as 6 months old.
@@samvaknin thank you!
So he never completes the process of splitting, I presume? I guess that is why he can never become a normal functioning adult, right?
One of the reasons. Watch more of my vids.
Thank you Sam. I am looking forward to more videos of yours. Your nothingness concept is soothing and a balm to inner wounds. I was drawn first by your video of poetry. Precious.
Can a four year old with disfunctional parents interject say..Darth Vader as a " mean good guy" and in fact say he is real and his sort of basic reality?
Watch my video on imaginary friends and paracosms.
Can you give the link of the relationship map that you mentioned in this video, please? Thank you.
Look at the description of the previous videos.
Is the first snap shot taken by a pathological person the one of themselves as they split or is it of the mother? Would you consider the false self technically a selfie?
Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.
Sam is this the same with narcissist parent/parents do they also have this snapshot of their child.I find this very educativ.And facinated to.
Yes, they do. Narcissists interact ONLY with internal objects.
Thank you so much for you answer dr. Vadkin.The narcissist mind and the psychology explanations behind this existing is very complex and facinating at the same time.Knowlegde is realy our power here.
@@hildesolstraleaksnes8390 yes the term internal object really opened it up for me.
So what happens if someone passes the narc test and becomes his mommy?
They live happily ever after.
@@samvaknin Until 20 year go by and the actual kids are grow and Mommy wants to retire.
I've actually seen this..spent three weeks with an elderly couple like that. the lady kept warning everyone about her husband's behavior..she really enjoys being a forever-mom/nurse..every 30 minutes she'd ask him how he felt and what was wrong and he'd often take time to make some ailment up. What a match made in heaven 🙄
@@shlok699 that's not cheating. you are both single adults.
@@shlok699 Yes, do whatever you want, be yourself. you choose for you! and yes, have your own fun - make your own life.
In my case - my introject developed… “grew” with me
Very clever man
Your as "old" as you "behave"
so is there any difference between borderline and narcissist? seems like they do the very same? idealize, test and then discard.. how come borderline could develop empathy and narcissist did not? was mommy better in bpd case?
Do your homework and search the channel before you bother everyone.
Hi Sam, in regards to narcissists who have a seemingly good and spoiled relationship with their mothers yet silently resent her behind closed doors, have they then successfully made the split?
No. He feels that she is ALL BAD. Which part of the phrase “split into good and bad” you find beyond your comprehension?
@@samvaknin As much as I find some of what you say to be helpful, being unkind for no necessary reason means you undermine the ability of the listeners to believe in the accuracy of what you say. Who knows where the shift in information is from accuracy to cruelty? Therefore I take what you say with a grain of salt. As I assume you make these videos to edify viewers, maybe that's something to chew on. I thought her question was thoughtful and respectful, so I see no reason to be disparaging of her intellect, except that you seem to enjoy that from time to time. In my experience, people who are willfully cruel lack the most important kind of intelligence, being emotional intelligence. Again, something you might want to consider.
Sam has stopped wearing the mask....
@@selenadiaz2665 bahahahaha
@gracieb.3054 he is narcissistic before anything else he does. I agree with you tho
Sam I have seen almost all videos. Could you Pont me the one that says more about narcissist's memory? I mean how quickly they forget what they said or some situations? I mentioned some significant event and situation and he looked like he seriously didn't remember that. Is he rebuilding everything every time he comes back?
Watch the vids about dissociation.
@@samvaknin thank you!
My ex would only "Black out" after drinking...his drinking, progressively..worsened
s.. over time...a while back, i realized that we were having conversations (the day after)...that he could not remember...he would laugh and say..."remind me"...
So, glad it s over.🙏
What about the absent mother, who has given the baby up. Does it effect the narcissist in the same way?
Absent mother is a dead mother, psychodynamically speaking.
How do narcs perceive foregiveness?
As unforgivable weakness.
@@samvaknin If love and forgiveness are rejected, qualities of a "good mother"...then perhaps they dont hate their mothers as much as they hate themselves for rejecting the cure .....but desperately craving it, I was told that I was his peace and sanity....it takes a very strong individual to love a narc...but strength is viewed as weakness....if the narc leaves and abandons the quote mother....are they fulfilling a self fulfilled prophesy....hurting themselves before they can be abandoned? or have they emotionally grown and left home and gone off to college,lol leaving mom behind so to speak......fly lil birdie fly....
I can't understand the name of the person Sam talks about who thinks Hope is a bad thing...Richard something. Does anyone know the last name?
Richard Grannon
Fairbairn is genius 😉
SIR,does the baby split himself consciously or unconsciously??Another doubt is how to make the narcisst know the difference BTW introverts and reality.?Why does the narcisst dont hve an ego??
If you family discussion as in any house could call spliting??
What???
Sam. You know how to think deeply. What is human consciousness to You?
A person sees the world subjectively, only through their sensory organs. A person cannot see the whole of reality until they divide it into parts. We don't even perceive sentences if there isn't a dot at the end of the sentence. Scientists of the mind refers to the thinking, I to attention. So what is consciousness?
Consciousness is that topic that no serious and even mildly intelligent person will attempt to discuss in a UA-cam comment.
Hope. Agreed. I feel like telling my daughter to always expect the worst, don't have faith in people. That way you'll never get disappointed or your heart hurt. I can't teach her this yet though, or can I..? She's 8😐😉
That may be a slippery slope to self fulfilling prophesy, if you teach her to "expect the worst in others." I suggest, instead, the art of emotional detachment and not thinking in terms of people being good or bad. In other words, in age-appropriate ways, maybe you can find ways to teach them empathy--to have your child think/feel as the other person does. Train them to put him in the other's shoes/point of view.
@@leonardascorpius5304 yes. I am doing so. Thank you though, so kind. Im often saying 'how would u feel' etc. I was just venting. Its true though, sometimes people continue to let you down. No empathy in the slightest, just out for themselves. Maybe its a survival thing. I would never actually tell her things like that as this has been my experience, not hers. She'll learn who & who not to give her energy to. Xx
@@adellelouise8596 You're a wonderful mother. Your daughter is very lucky to have you. Thank you taking my suggestion so graciously. 🙏🏽🤗
@@leonardascorpius5304 Thank you. Its nice to hear that sometimes. Xx
Noooooo !!!!
You are superior to Descartes(sp?), for one immediately apparent reason: you are physically (if not relationally!) alive -- whereas he is long dead. And you: owing to the applicability, validity and empirically study-based nature of your exegesis of Cluster B personalities and the world-wide readily availability of your data to the masses (not even remotely comparable to the extremely constricted communicative circumstance of his day and age! Tomes only available to the few literate, learned and elite of his era) are, no doubt, destined to be the Descartes of the 21st Century and beyond. Besides, 60 is not as ancient today as it was in the day of early, superstitional, risky and restrictively available health care of that century (narcissistically speaking, you are NOT OLD --as I am a year OLDER than you!)
* Jesus Christ Superstar brought this fact to light: (Judas said of Jesus) "If you had come today, you would have reached a whole nation. Israel in 4 BC had no mass communication."
You are an old man 🤪
Have you considered babies born with substance abuse? Please, do.