Yea, I feel grief struck randomly. Like, how long is this gonna last?.. Trauma bonds are terrible! Yeah, I know. As long as it takes to feel better about myself.
Here's the thing guys. We built this attachment up in our own minds. Thinking "this is the the one". But if it didn't work out, she wasn't the one. Focus on yourself and the Universe will bring you what you need.
There are loads of times things didn’t work out, but they still are the one. Sometimes we lose the best thing because of our own actions, simply saying ‘things ended so they aren’t the one’ can often deflect from accountability. Many a time changing and becoming better with self realisation attracts that ONE back. Something i disagree with him about is, there are people who are THAT special and not everyone else is like them. If YOU as an individual are like everyone else, then yes you’ll be able to be okay with anyone else and see that no one is that special. But if you yourself know you can’t just be with just anyone and a specific person, then you’ll understand not everyone else is like the person who meshed so well with you. Obv it’s his perspective but no, not mine.
And what if you had attachment issues that you’ve worked on since the breakup (issues that led to the breakup) what if you want a second chance to make things right?
Well muggins over here 🙋♀️ has this attachment to a toxic ex. Gaslight, manipulation, lying and the rest. All in one. And yet my heart cries for her touch. Its fucked up. I hate myself so much I'd rather end it all then see her with someone else, someone who treats her exactly how I did and yet will actually accept his efforts this time. Idk why she didn't accept my. First 3 month were great, then it all changed. 4 months of pure pain, horrible gut feelings, lack of reassurance, lack of sex.. and the rest. I just wanna be able to think clearly, just for.. 5 mins. But she's there. In my head none stop. It sucks 😪
You shouldn't hope at all as you are tying your happiness to the outcome you can't completely control due to, possibly unforeseen, outside circumstances. By hoping you just set yourself up for disappointment. Instead, you should just focus on what you do control and give it your all.
You haven't had a kidney stone blockage I take it. :^) That's the worst things I've ever felt. No heart break has come close to that... and I'm no stranger to receiving heart break...
For me letting go just leaves me alone. I can be content alone, but I don't understand these people who can let go and find something. I have to be actively searching to find something.
@@A_Mystery_Mani think anyone, who finds someone, has to be searching for that someone, in some sort of way. Even if the other person finds you, you still have to want, to be with that person:) so i dont think there is anything wrong in searching for love, as long as you remember to love yourself as well
...and if you love yourself, set yourself free. Do this for yourself. The other person already doesnt care about you. The key to freedom is in your own hand or literarly head 🙂
100% it's our ego that wants to stay attached because of what the relationship could be not what it is. It has a strong need for validation and acceptance which you have to give to yourself. Don't seek your worth in other people.
Absolutely. Realizing the other person isn’t as invested, attracted or interested as you can be devastating to your ego. Letting go of that person means accepting that you were rejected/abandoned by someone you highly valued and that can be such a blow to your confidence and self-esteem. I heard somewhere that the attachment is a reflection of an unmet need in your own life that you need to learn to address without relying on another person.
It's not the pain of them leaving for me. It's the pain of feeling like I was with someone I never really knew. Someone I thought was my best friend and my partner, someone I could confide in. It's hard to accept someone dropping you in the blink of an eye after having been through so much together.
Yes it is the betrayal at the heart of it. 37 years, as faithful as a swan for all those years. Committed all to my family to my detriment. Abuse grew and grew and I hoped it could get better. But I know now she never felt about our marriage as I did. The marriage was a vessel to be abused and levered rather than protected at all cost. So I now accept that she is unable of valuing interdependence and can only see life through her own selfish tunnel. I am imperfect but I think I am an ok guy. People trust me and see me as an honest straight chap. My children love me and they know I would step in front of a bus for them. They are my epicentre now and they will get everything my souls has left.
God has better plans, please don't loose hope...just keep breathing.... it's okay to be....just keep breathing and it'll be fine.... please, atleast for yourself!!
@tylaj19 I feel you! I get attached easily as well. I was talking to this girl for about 3 weeks and then boom I get a text saying she blocked me and she wants to stay single. But in reality I knew there was someone else on the other end. It’s scary how people can pretend so good. Peace and love bro keep your head up!!
I think the best advice is mentally going back into the relationship and reviewing everything, you’ll see that yeah maybe they were nice and it was good when it was good but if you look honestly you’ll see fundamentally there was something really wrong
As someone who is currently going through this I’m letting yall know now. This is literally the best advice ever. It’s literally a mental thing. The moment you realize it’s all in your head and tell yourself it’s over and that’s okay you’ll immediately begin to heal. Also do not expect a rekindle because you’ll be holding on to false hope LET GO!! It’s not the end of the world. Love yourself, self reflect, and most importantly MOVE FORWARD.
It’s painful as hell especially when jilted. To process & punish: I journal and ANYTIME they come to mind 30 pushups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, and squats per months together. At least I’m fit
One thing that I realized that could help you guys is that no matter how much you want to be with that person, they don’t want to be with you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you?
Yes! And let’s remember, the only person we’re always with is ourselves. So accept and make peace with yourself, then you’ll be at peace with others and you’ll be empowered to accept them as they truly are irrespective of their acceptance of you.
This is not a simple topic. My two cents is to not shame yourself if you are having a hard time letting go. Letting go can take a long time, but it will eventually happen. Use the process to learn about yourself.
yes what he says is perfectly true . but this video I think is about someone left you , sentimentally . I'm suffering another king of loss and is grief , I lost my parents in an interval of four months and as I had a very good relationship with them it's hard to get over ,even more being alone as I'm single ,😏 doctors say that I ll be fine ,but I miss them and I feel Kind of angry because they were still a few years ahead to live and it's so sad , I can't enjoy summer as before 😢
Yes I let them all go with zero contact. At this point though I feel nothing anymore and don't even want to try with so much effort and no return. Literally just went out to a nice restaurant on my own on a Friday night with a good book and can give zero fucks. 40 and still single and never really loved in the romantic sense sadly. I have been in therapy which has helped immensely and have so much to be thankful for from amazing health, no bad habits, creativity, world travel, no debts, high paying salary in my dream career, loving parents and friends, and lots of hobbies from my artwork to reading to film to travel. I'll probably live and die this life alone, but at least ill do so without holding onto lost hope and loving myself.
How are things looking for you? It's nice to know humans go through similar things despite being so different lol, I'm not even an adult yet. I got broken up with my one-year relationship yesterday because he wanted to "work on himself" to become a better person and it's the day after. So recent that he hasn't even removed my @ from his bio yet. He keeps saying it's for the better, but I was willing to do everything i can to stay together with him. That's when I realized that might be why-- he never felt the need to chase me because i was always chasing him. I hope i can get over this dagger in my heart before summer ends and i have to start school again. WIshing the best for everyone else in this comment section too. It's gonna hurt so much the first few weeks but learn to learn yourself.
@@ItsAllGodAnyway are you safe and on your way to healthy now? If you ever need to talk I am here, if you need to pray I am here! God bless you on your journey, you got this!!!!!
My Mom used to say to me whenever I went through a breakup. “ I was fine without you before I met you” it definitely put things into perspective. Better off alone than with toxic and abusive.
I started crying when you spoke the truth 1:44 This hurts so much. I've often felt hopeless and worthless for not being with them anymore, even though its for the best. Ruminating constantly, for the passed few months, over whether I did enough, tried hard enough, sacrificed enough, did I hold on long enough, was I patient enough, etc etc etc... The stonewalling, trauma and inconsistencies with my former partner should be enough to convince me its the right decision right?? So why doesn't my mind and heart want to accept it. "Facing the truth" seems so simple and easy... but Im really struggling
@@myselfasevan ive been split up 5 weeks, hit the bottle, painkillers the anxiety of it all is making me wanna end everything, i just want them all to go away 💔
@marcprobert1444 I'm with you . I've been going though this the past couple days. It hurts so much . They are letting us go. When we are still love with them. The memories and moments hurt
For me, it's just the fact that this person let me go for stupid reasons. I waited so long to try and find a good, loving, supportive partner... I'm 40 now and I don't know, the older I get, the more I am beginning to think true real love exists maybe only with parents (or even just yourself), other love is just a farce. If my ex thinks he can find someone prettier, kinder, etc. then so be it, I know my worth. And I know the special qualities I am able to share with someone and that's not something I take lightly, at least not anymore.
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I know it’s not easy. Love is a bit of a farce. In my opinion, most humans aren’t evolved enough to truly love another. Most of us haven’t even accepted ourselves fully. That’s why we’re still bouncing around from person to person like apes.
@@myselfasevan A lot of people are judgemental these days, including those I sadly got close to. Even people I WASN'T able to get close to. They were not only SELFISH in their ways, but yeah, judge left and right. It's SADLY become the norm (not to mention POPULAR) to do that, and to be a bad person. People have become too much in my (non-humble) opinion. They judge as if they are more perfect than you or better than you. Arrogant!
I think the point is to grow into love through the creation of family which is passed on through parent-child. Romance and s3xual passion aside from this important part are essentially meaningless because it does not fulfill what’s it’s ultimate end is meant to be.
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.
If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
My boyfriend just broke up with me and feel completely hopeless, like no one will ever understand me like he does but he doesn’t want to try to work through things and it hurts so bad
My ex didn't even bother to break up with me he just cut me off completely without any explanation. It wasn't a good relationship, but the way he ended it hurt because I didn't get closure. This video helps a little thank you
my bf of over a year (who i was living with) ghosted and disappeared, always remind yourself that disrespect and silence is all the closure/answer you need
I know your pain … so just remember when someone can do something cold such as this it shows their damage as they are broken … and let’s face it, this is not news to us … we will walk in the light 💜
I needed this. Was broken up with 2 weeks ago, and have been virtually housebound since, feel like my body is shutting down from the pain. I can't stop thinking about this person, but I know I must let them go in order to be truly free, that there's no going back. I realise this person would never get back together with me anyway, so what's the point in fantasy, but I cling to it anyway. Looking forward to finally being free.
I went through a breakup a few months ago. We were together 7 years. I was extremely attached and codependent. Needless to say it was very difficult and emotionally jarring. BUT I’ve grown so much from it. I’ve regained my independence and realized I never want to feel that dependent on another person for my needs ever again. I feel much more secure in myself. And currently casually dating another person but decided to take a break since they admitted they were getting attached and I feel just fine because I know I will be ok without anyone else.
Cool video. Unfortunately, my 4 year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me. I still love him so much and can't stop thinking about him. I've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail. avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
It's difficult to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my 12 year relationship ended. I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
@@sarahluis5532please don’t fall for this rubbish. Your ex left you. It’s very painful but you have to face up to it. I’ve been there myself and it’s very painful but eventually you have to ask yourself and realise why are you putting so much energy in to being with someone who does not want to be with you? Do this, accept the situation and move on and this will free you up to meeting someone else.
Once I fell really badly for one guy. It was just a fling for him, but I fell head over heels. A total catastrophe for me. I went to school I thought of him, I went out with friends I thought of him, I ate I thought of him, etc. And all I could see was, that he didnt care anymore at all. I was realistic about that. I served myself the truth. I could count on: he is not interrested, he doesnt care, he will never call me again and probably hes onto the next one and there is nothing I can do. And that was it. I was free.
@@varuntripathi8712 Until your comment I didnt know that what I had experienced was a chadstruck 😂 I just wanted to paint a picture that there is way out- the truth taken in rather brutal way.
It's very true leaning into it is the best solution...I suffer from anxiety and I find it's very similar to a panic attack, extreme discomfort but itl pass, and then come back and then pass again, you just need to ride those waves and slowly the waves get less and easier to wash over you.
100% the advice to follow on letting them go. It's alright to have put your whole heart into a relationship and believe that other person was "the one". Really, you should put your whole heart into any relationship if you believe in it and want it to be the one. Just remember it is OK if it doesn't work out and you are OK, you're only human. Letting go is hard. Experience those emotions, don't hide from them, and then let go. Don't torture yourself.
"If your attachment to that person that makes you think like they're so special. In reality there's no one that special. We are all just people. We all have been through different experiences and have done different things." .....when you become so hyper focused and your so attached to that. ....you ego . I like these lines. This really helped me. We put people on pedestal and worship them. And we are so miserable for them and they don't even care about us. May God help me to detach myself from these people.
Yeah bro it’s tough. I think especially after conflating your spiritual journey with a relationship be it through concepts of “twin flame” or “soul mates” you get extra attached to this idea that you need them to fulfill your spiritual purpose when that is not the case
Exactly! I once heard someone ask a spiritual teacher if soulmates were real. He replied "God is your true soulmate". It's so true. People can come and go, but God will never leave you.
What’s helping me but it’s hard still. “ Life is an experience and people are experiences too, it’s only right to move on to allow yourself to experience someone new who will truly align with what you bring to yourself and to the table period” 🙏🏽
@@mermaidlu5125 I know it in my head but my heart hurts. It’s my toxic sister and now she has my granddaughter giving me the silent treatment. I am heartbroken. Christian friends say I should be happy they aren’t in my life anymore
Be careful to not alienate yourself and call every little thing toxic. If you're making everyone walk on egg shells to conform to your definition of "not toxic" you might be the toxic one.
Did that for 7 (4 years is also a *very* long time!!), and let me tell you woman to woman, deciding the last time was going to be *the last*, was the best decision I’ve ever made. If I could go back and tell my younger self how much healthier, and freer I feel now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Just make sure to stay strong when they reach back out (bc they will)!! Change your # if it’s easier, block on everything else, eyes forward love.
@@i2pjd6hRw5P All good. I no longer want her. Even though we're on amicable terms and spoke on my bday last week, little does she know , I'll never answer or respond to her again 😂
I think it's a defense method people use to try to detach & not feel anything. Some people would rather you hate them so it's easier for them to move on which is immature & selfish
I was not ready, first heartbreak at 32 lost everything my home, girlfriend, plans of a future everything. The only thing that has saved me is cycling, I've rode hundreds of miles possibly even 1000+ in the last few months. Not only does it jabe me in amazing shape but mentally it helps so much. Its hard to be sad riding a bike.
@@i2pjd6hRw5P Hi, It's been two months and a half since the breakup and just under a month since our last interaction. It's painful. I'm much, much better but still, I feel the ache in the chest when I think about him still, and I do get sad. For me, the saddest part is not even the breakup itself, because much of it was mutual (lack of compatibility and different expectations), but the fact that it was done with such care and mutual affection and we promised we'd stay friends, and we were, for a while, before contact faded out (on his end), and without a final goodbye he just stopped initiating any conversations. I'm still wondering whether to wish him happy birthday in a weeks' time or just leave it be... I still care for him so much as a person, and I hope he's doing well. But his indifference, when he was the one begging me to stay in his life as friend (though I wanted it, too), hurts. But I chose to forgive him and my feelings toward him are good and I wish him best. I tried reaching out twice, asking him if he still wanted to stay in touch and twice he confirmed he did, but then not a word from him. And I doubt I'll hear from him ever again, maybe a "Thank you" if I decide to send him the B-day wishes. Not sure I should, though. Oh my, you were only asking how I was doing and here am I pouring out a longer story. Sorry about that!
It doesn't. But if you keep working on yourself then overtime you will feel lot better. We don't want to feel stuck and miserable so we have to put in work including watching this video. Think like losing weight, it's hard and painful but if you do you will lose weight and will have healthy body.
One thing that can help is Journaling. When i find myself obsessing over the relationship and how it was in the beginning and what i think could be, i reread my journal. I journal everything i am feeling and what my partner has done to me. Every argument. So, going back and seeing the patterns and all the hurt is helping me let go❤
thank you my man. And goodbye my first girlfirend. I value everything we lived, it is a shame it didnt work out, but I must let you go. I wanna be free again. You see, there is this really cool dude I must take care of, and I have been letting him down. And that is myself. Goodbye.
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low. Only hate the road when you're missing home Only know you love em when you let em go And you let em go 👌🏾
I’m going through the same emotion, I feel betrayed, and want to be the one to dump her. But at the end of the day, she was toxic. I feel sometimes getting her back would be the last thing that I want; but other times, it just feels like why couldn’t this work! It’s so frustrating when it takes a chunk of your energy, focus & time!
Thanks so much! Especially if the person is still married but separated. He was never emotionally available. Life is short, it's time and it's just a matter of time to feel better. Happiness can only be found inside yourself, not in other people.
I think the solution is found in Unconditional selflove. If we know how to truely love, then we will be at peace when they do not want us anymore or when we are no longer happy together because we want the best for both. Its still gonna be painful, but because you let go from a place of love its probably easier. The reason why now it is hard for many people is because their selfworh and selflove are dependent on another person loving them. Whatya think?
This really helps. I somewhat resent her, I could hate her in order to let go easily, but that's not who I am. I still want the best for her. Thinking of her reaching out is more than an ego trip for me, because deep down I know it wouldn't work despite putting effort as there are fundamental incompatibility issues, broken trust and lack of respect involved. It brings me peace of mind accepting she did the best she could with the tools she had (and so did I) in order to move on.
BRO!!! You have no idea how helpful this video is for me! I just let my best female friend/surf partner that I've known for over a year how I felt about her 2 nights ago. I made myself vulnerable and opened up my true feelings to her. She did not reciprocate or feel the same. She told me she only views me as a friend and nothing more. But interesting, she also asked if it was possible if we could continue to surf and remain friends. I told her that being friends was not an option and thanked her for all the fun times and wished her the best. Then blocked her everywhere, so that I can be strong and move forward with my life. It really hurt that she didn't feel the same, as I thought she sent mixed signals over that time we hung out. Anyway...as each day goes by, I am getting STRONGER 💪🙏🏽. Thanks also to AMAZING videos like this one. Keep up the great content. I am now subscribed! 💯
I can only hope it feels better. It's been 10 years and my ex still plays over in my head, I'm messed up- and no therapy has fixed me. I just accept I may always be this way. I let them go awhile ago. Some people rebound in a week. Try ten years. I am free. I am good. I am love- this is my philosophy now. I'm grateful for a lot in my life. I'm grateful for my body and its patience.
sending much love to you in your journey currently letting go of the one i love the most and what hurts about it is they love me back we just do not know how to be together peacefully. ❤️🩹
@@hbk2akajoker I felt that. My partner and I are similar- we love each other but our lives do not match and neither of us did good trying to do better. Thank you we will heal🙏✨ much love to you
Wow, 10 fricking years. I can't even imagine myself in that spot. She dumped me 3 weeks ago to be with someone else, I fear that I will never find someone like her. I barely function and it hurts like hell. I don't know how to move on, I want her back even if she is with someone else and can't stop these thoughts.
@@ferit7418 dude I feel you. It's the hardest feeling to cope with. I've dated since but nobody has fit the same, which makes the missing part harder. I feel strong now, I do have dreams tho still. You've got to love yourself during these times and know that there is someone out there who is searching for you just as much. Time heals, peace
@@coolbaj Man, I'm literally a mess. And hearing that so long you didnt find someone that made you happy like her doubles my anxiety. I'm trying so hard to heal but knowing she is with someone else, got over me and forgot me and knowing there wont be another chance and there is absolutely no one like her in the world is heartbreaking. I don't see an exit from this.
I find that when a relationship ends I feel more emotion than I ever did during the relationship. The grief of a relationship ending makes you forget the pain that you actually felt so often during the relationship. It helps to remember all the hard work that you put in and all all the time you invested just trying to keep the relationship working and trying to keep that person in your life. That's what you're grieving when it comes to an end: the time, energy and hope that you invested that you wont get back. Relationships are incredibly difficult, and they're not the solutions to all our problems that we hope they'll be.
Stay single. Enoy solitude and growth, and all of the rest of the drama, pain; self-doubt and suffering will dissipate into the ether. When you truly grasp the depth of joy in peace, you will wonder why it ever mattered to you in the first place. Have a purpose in life that exists outside of attachment to another. That is happiness. Only in that space can you be good for anyone else, and vice versa.
Evan, I want to tell you how appreciative I am to you. Thank you for your honesty. I have to admit, I was doing the same thing - I was playing it in my own mind that me and him would get back together, perhaps one day we could revisit it, etc. etc. etc. but it's just so toxic. I believe all it is is my own pain and trauma that I have to deal with. It's less to do with that person. Every time I thought I was getting better, I always slip back. I guess I just really should be patient with myself, and just repeat the whole process time and time again.
Its so exhausting yearning for someone who dosnt want you . I was with my partner they fell out of love still continued to pursue me and moved abroad and now he has found someone there . Its just so frustrating to be this person who lets them in regardless of what they do . I dont care how much strength it takes i will not look back
I stumbled upon this video at a time when my world feels like it's falling apart. Going through this breakup has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Each day is a battle, filled with overwhelming sadness, tears that seem endless, and nights where sleep is replaced by nightmares. I never imagined I'd be in this place, feeling this broken, but here I am, trying to navigate through the pain. This video has given me a glimmer of hope, a reminder that it's okay to let go, even when it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. Letting go of someone I once loved deeply is heart-wrenching, and the thought of moving forward seems impossible. But hearing these words, feeling the empathy and understanding behind them, brings a small measure of comfort. To anyone else who might be reading this and feeling the same way, know that you're not alone. We're all trying to heal, to find our way out of the darkness. Let's hold on to the promise that, in time, we will be okay. Thank you to the creator of this video for providing solace in such a raw and vulnerable moment.
What your saying is so true. But 22 years together and I feel I wasted a good portion of my life. That he could act like we never existed. And litterly just break my heart.
6:11 I feel the hardest part about this is that I start to notice all of the bad things that I did, I was loved so much and because I couldn’t just man up and hold myself accountable for my actions as well as how I conducted my feelings I lost someone who not only loved me but was also my best friend.
All great points! I had a co worker I knew for over 2 years who I thought was the coolest person ever, then when she quit without telling me, and I tried to reach out she ghosted. Shit hurts like hell, because there’s no closure there, and I was left wondering if it was me, then I realized it wasn’t. It just wasn’t meant to be. You learn to love yourself more and appreciate what you have to offer the world. And if the world doesn’t want it, give it to yourself. Great vid my man!
If you were married this looks different. Every guru telling you to detach trust me allow yourself to grieve as long as it takes even if it’s years. Don’t beat yourself up in the least. Detachment works when you were not covenantly attached. Meaning if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they were your spouse it will take time. Heal, therapy, one step infront of the other at a time. Small wins like making your bed, feeding yourself wholesome food, get sunlight, journal, cry, cry some more then some more. Show yourself grace and compassion because it’s not easy. You will heal and then the detachment will come. ❤
The way you talk is so soothing. Straight forward to listen to and cutting out all the bullshit. Thank you for your words. It has given me a great deal to think about. Admitting to everything and just accepting it for the now. Let the cry happen and then move forward. That’s where the healing starts. Thank you
Excuse me. I will not let go of my husband of 20 years, a happy life. The tapestry of life and intermingled us so much. Its not just a relationship between 2 people. 2 families, a life time of memories and a foundation for our future. I will keep asking for restoration. Its not an old fridge. Its a marvelous humanbeing.
I think this video came at the perfect time for me. If I was to watch this a few years ago, I wouldn't have been able to completely receive the message. I would have understood intellectually but not emotionally. After doing a lot of work on myself, I am at a place where I can listen to this message and truly apply it. Thank you for making this.
Watching this video amidst my heartbreak brings a sense of understanding and comfort. Every day feels like a struggle, filled with tears and sleepless nights haunted by nightmares. I never imagined I'd face such pain, but here I am, trying to find strength. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to let go, even when it feels impossible
@@MeMyselfandEye127 Hey, first off, don’t ever apologize for venting. I totally get where you're coming from. When you're going through something as raw and painful as heartbreak, it’s so hard to imagine life ever feeling normal again. I know what it’s like to stay up all night, feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on your chest, and staring at an empty space that was once filled by someone who meant everything to you. It’s okay to cry more than you think you should. Society often tells us how we should feel or act, especially as men, but emotions don’t work like that. It hits hard, and it’s real, and pretending it doesn’t affect us only makes it harder in the long run. I know it can feel like you’re drowning in your own thoughts sometimes, and there’s no clear way out. But trust me when I say, you’ll make it through this, one day at a time. This might be a chance to reconnect with yourself, to do things you enjoy, even if it feels pointless right now. You deserve peace and happiness, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment. It’s been two months since you left this comment, and I hope that by now, things are a little lighter for you. Healing doesn’t happen all at once, but I’m sure you're finding your way, piece by piece. I believe you’ll be okay. If you ever feel like talking or just letting it all out again, don't hesitate. We’re all just trying to heal in our own ways. Stay strong.. You’ll get through this. We both will.:)
If it’s helpful when you reach a certain age it gets easier because you have the wisdom of discernment in the first place not to be attached to the wrong person or situation. The ideal would be to gain this wisdom sooner than later to save you from the pain but it’s akso part of life’s homework and lessons ❤️
I'm shocked cause my bestie just left me last night I'm in unbelievable pain I was sobbing then your video popped up I really needed to hear this thank you May Allah bless you❤
Hi evan. I came across your video trying to look for help. Thanks for this. This is a tad too long but mine’s a bit more embarrassing. I found a group of idols a few years back and instantly fell in love with one of them because of their looks. Over time, I got to know more about her, her character, her humor, her kind soul, how she acted on and off camera/stage, and her balance between being timid and confident. This made me love her for who she is and not on looks anymore! We even have similar hobbies and mannerisms. This connection got deeper as I learned more about her past, about how she was hurt and harassed. I felt a stronger connection as I too was bullied when I was little. I often got beat by higher ups when I was a kid, to the point that I could not even take off my shirt at home so my parents wouldn’t see. This sort of sparked something in me to want to like “protect” her, to not let her be harmed more than I was anymore. My “obsession” wasn’t affecting me that much yet at the time, until last year when I got depressed. I started obsessing more, I started becoming defensive and hostile, I started wasting my time for her activities, I started to lose sense of who I was. Then something happened. I’m not exactly gonna say what, but it made me realize how much time has passed since I met her. I realized that we’re all growing older, that she may one day find a person she loves. Embarrassing yet the truth, I broke down, for a whole week. I did nothing but have delusional thoughts with partial weeping sessions. I still had some before opening UA-cam right now. It was mostly the pain of knowing that I would never be with her, that I wouldn’t be there to protect her, that I wouldn’t be with the woman I deemed to have the attributes I enjoyed being with. To cope with the pain, I’d punch the wall until my knuckles went black, I thought physical pain would be better than mental and emotional pain, but alas, night time came and here I am weeping again. In my years of being alive, I haven’t found nor even seen a person similar to her. It’s not the thought of “not being able to find someone” for me, it’s more of “not being able to be with the person I have heavy feelings for in my one and only lifetime” that is crushing me. Sure I may find someone else, but it’s not her. I know I still have problems and I’m trying to fix it, but it’s very painful. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. To those that might read this, apologies for a long story. I hope that both you and I can learn to move on, as Evan said.
This is very good advice. You have to decide 100 per cent it is not them and let them go, mourn. It can be hard to face the truth when the other person has constructed themself as a lie that they’ve presented as truth but once you see it, keep hold of that and don’t go back! You are worthy of being free and better will come once the blockage from that old energy is removed. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤
I genuinely wanted to get over this person, so what I did was I broke no contact to let myself get rejected utterly. It ended up helping in the long run since I stopped hoping for a future where they come back.
I really needed this video and I’m glad it popped up on my feed, my partner broke up with me about month ago and I was still attached to her and still am but since I found this video I feel like I can actually start letting go and focusing on myself and my goals. I’m going to better myself and hopefully find someone but right now I need to focus on myself and letting go so that I can be free.
Great video and advice. The only part I struggle with is 6:00. I think she really is that special. It’s been 3 years and in that time I’ve met and dated plenty of other people and none of them measure up to her.
It’s the most difficult when the people you want to let go is your mother and brother. If it’s intimate partner you don’t have to see that person ever again if choose not to. But it if it’s your family it’s doubly hard.
Also every desire is symbolic to the brain, you want someone because your brain associates their love with something. I had an eating disorder and I was terribly addicted to it until I realized I associated self destruction with the freedom of being loved out of pity. Pathetic, but I felt like the only way I could be loved is if I hurt myself and I associated that love with being free to be myself. I was insanely obsessed with a guy. I was experiencing limerence and he never even looked at me. I didn’t even want him, he was a drug addict, we were not a good match but for some reason he was my symbol of freedom, confidence and enjoying life. You don’t want the person. You don’t want the thing. You want the feeling. It’s all in you. NEVER forget that. The pain is real. But it’s not really heartbreak. It’s a break from who you really are and what you really want and what really makes you happy, you just experience it through losing a person but yourself is who you’ve lost long ago, they just remind you of the pain of that loss. Take your time to heal and create what they meant to you on your own.
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This I Was Involved With Someone Highly Manipulative/ Narcissistic This Person Has Destroyed My Life My Self Confidence And Self Esteem I Never In My Life Seen Such Evilness.He Discarded Me Like Trash Telling Me To Never Message Him Again.He Has Destroyed My Life.I Thought This Was The Cruelest Ever He Is Posting Photos Of His Girlfriend On Social Media After Discarding Me. I’m So Broken! I’m Severely Trauma Bonded To A Narcissistic/Monster.
Guided meditation for Letting Go:
ua-cam.com/video/w3wUwJt-f-M/v-deo.htmlsi=08arSyneySGvU_pl
😭
Yea, I feel grief struck randomly. Like, how long is this gonna last?.. Trauma bonds are terrible!
Yeah, I know. As long as it takes to feel better about myself.
Hurts like someone died, the grief is huge.
Live the grief once u feel the emotions, u gonna feel free
@@Jen53293when?
@chifaunsmiley6563 Every time you cry, it gonna hurt less and less
I refuse to let him go
how are you doing 3 weeks later?
"you can't let go of someone who is already gone."
or someone, who was never really there
This is the comment
Truth
You can let go of the perception of them being there
true
Here's the thing guys. We built this attachment up in our own minds. Thinking "this is the the one". But if it didn't work out, she wasn't the one. Focus on yourself and the Universe will bring you what you need.
Men date equal or above them, never below. My ex somehow thought I was below 😞. Oh well, that is all relative fortunately.
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984 it's not a competition
There are loads of times things didn’t work out, but they still are the one. Sometimes we lose the best thing because of our own actions, simply saying ‘things ended so they aren’t the one’ can often deflect from accountability. Many a time changing and becoming better with self realisation attracts that ONE back.
Something i disagree with him about is, there are people who are THAT special and not everyone else is like them. If YOU as an individual are like everyone else, then yes you’ll be able to be okay with anyone else and see that no one is that special. But if you yourself know you can’t just be with just anyone and a specific person, then you’ll understand not everyone else is like the person who meshed so well with you. Obv it’s his perspective but no, not mine.
And what if you had attachment issues that you’ve worked on since the breakup (issues that led to the breakup) what if you want a second chance to make things right?
Well muggins over here 🙋♀️ has this attachment to a toxic ex. Gaslight, manipulation, lying and the rest. All in one. And yet my heart cries for her touch. Its fucked up. I hate myself so much I'd rather end it all then see her with someone else, someone who treats her exactly how I did and yet will actually accept his efforts this time. Idk why she didn't accept my. First 3 month were great, then it all changed. 4 months of pure pain, horrible gut feelings, lack of reassurance, lack of sex.. and the rest. I just wanna be able to think clearly, just for.. 5 mins. But she's there. In my head none stop. It sucks 😪
Letting go of that hope is the worst pain imaginable.
@@JBakk007 100% but in the end it’s the best choice
hope is the worst thing in these situations.
Agreed
You shouldn't hope at all as you are tying your happiness to the outcome you can't completely control due to, possibly unforeseen, outside circumstances. By hoping you just set yourself up for disappointment. Instead, you should just focus on what you do control and give it your all.
You haven't had a kidney stone blockage I take it. :^)
That's the worst things I've ever felt. No heart break has come close to that... and I'm no stranger to receiving heart break...
Letting go gave me the love of my life
Wow u give me hope
For me letting go just leaves me alone. I can be content alone, but I don't understand these people who can let go and find something. I have to be actively searching to find something.
@@A_Mystery_Mani think anyone, who finds someone, has to be searching for that someone, in some sort of way. Even if the other person finds you, you still have to want, to be with that person:) so i dont think there is anything wrong in searching for love, as long as you remember to love yourself as well
Awwwww!!
I'm happy for you
The inability to let go also stems from unresolved abandonment issues.
and this is where therapy comes into play. 🙌🏻
Therapy which provides the basis for more human connection down the road once you’ve got all your wounding contained. You can’t heal alone ❤️🩹
100%. The WORST breakups are when it's not really about the breakup or that person 💔
Ya I hv lots of issues n I want him n never let go
@@amelie-db7guso true…mine is deep rejection wounds from the day I was born
"If you love somebody set them free"
If they come back , don’t take them back , no body wants them 😂😂😂😂
@@Sustainablewealth777 I needed this!!! lol thank you
@@Sustainablewealth777 what if they dont come back means theres soneone who wants them ?
...and if you love yourself, set yourself free. Do this for yourself. The other person already doesnt care about you. The key to freedom is in your own hand or literarly head 🙂
@@user-ik1xe9hs8l sometimes they are too proud to come back , so they suffer in silence
100% it's our ego that wants to stay attached because of what the relationship could be not what it is. It has a strong need for validation and acceptance which you have to give to yourself. Don't seek your worth in other people.
Absolutely. Realizing the other person isn’t as invested, attracted or interested as you can be devastating to your ego. Letting go of that person means accepting that you were rejected/abandoned by someone you highly valued and that can be such a blow to your confidence and self-esteem. I heard somewhere that the attachment is a reflection of an unmet need in your own life that you need to learn to address without relying on another person.
Even if its your parents :(
This is the best explanation by far
@@pizzelle2 That's right; it's called 'Attachment Theory'.
I would say self esteem, not ego.
“Your attachment to them is what makes them seem so special” bingo!!
may it be a friend too?
It's not the pain of them leaving for me. It's the pain of feeling like I was with someone I never really knew. Someone I thought was my best friend and my partner, someone I could confide in. It's hard to accept someone dropping you in the blink of an eye after having been through so much together.
Yep that’s a horrible feeling! Ugh
Yes. It the deception...... Thats the hardest part of it all.
Are you me? It’s so interesting how we’re truly not alone in our experiences…this sounds exactly how I feel. Hope I can let go.
Yes it is the betrayal at the heart of it. 37 years, as faithful as a swan for all those years. Committed all to my family to my detriment. Abuse grew and grew and I hoped it could get better. But I know now she never felt about our marriage as I did. The marriage was a vessel to be abused and levered rather than protected at all cost. So I now accept that she is unable of valuing interdependence and can only see life through her own selfish tunnel. I am imperfect but I think I am an ok guy. People trust me and see me as an honest straight chap. My children love me and they know I would step in front of a bus for them. They are my epicentre now and they will get everything my souls has left.
I am dead inside. I get attached so quickly and it’s takes forever to detach. I literally don’t even wanna be here anymore.
@@tylaj19 You have lots of love to give to someone that truly deserves it, you just haven't crossed paths with them yet. Hang in there.
God has better plans, please don't loose hope...just keep breathing.... it's okay to be....just keep breathing and it'll be fine.... please, atleast for yourself!!
@tylaj19 I feel you! I get attached easily as well. I was talking to this girl for about 3 weeks and then boom I get a text saying she blocked me and she wants to stay single. But in reality I knew there was someone else on the other end. It’s scary how people can pretend so good. Peace and love bro keep your head up!!
You can't be in two places at once..although we live our lives that way..mind far removed from the body..better to keep both present.
I feel your pain…it feels like my limb has been cut off😢
I think the best advice is mentally going back into the relationship and reviewing everything, you’ll see that yeah maybe they were nice and it was good when it was good but if you look honestly you’ll see fundamentally there was something really wrong
But it's hard to put myself out there again, but I'll do what I have to do .
Tell 'em!
Agree!!! When you look back you realize that you are just missing the good memories and not thinking about the bad times that caused you to break up.
@@Goodwillwinoverevil1984Stay alone…aren’t you much happier single like most humans?
@@DBrown-vg1fiHumans aren’t designed to be single. Stay strong, folks. It’ll happen one day even if you don’t want it to right now
As someone who is currently going through this I’m letting yall know now. This is literally the best advice ever. It’s literally a mental thing. The moment you realize it’s all in your head and tell yourself it’s over and that’s okay you’ll immediately begin to heal. Also do not expect a rekindle because you’ll be holding on to false hope LET GO!! It’s not the end of the world. Love yourself, self reflect, and most importantly MOVE FORWARD.
What about realising it’s over in your head. But the heart still feels and longs?
Thx bro needed this my gf of 12yrs just bounced on me and I feel like my walls are caving in😒
It’s painful as hell especially when jilted. To process & punish: I journal and ANYTIME they come to mind 30 pushups, sit-ups, jumping jacks, and squats per months together.
At least I’m fit
It’s so hard receiving mixed signals from them.
When that starts happening I show them my back- respect yourself and they will too
I’m glad I saw this comment because mixed signals is a no and that’s what I needed to hear to❤
That’s what happened to me. And then they wanted to play victim and act like they didn’t do anything.
Those mixed signals are a HUGE signal that they don’t want you.
@@ardenislandright.
One thing that I realized that could help you guys is that no matter how much you want to be with that person, they don’t want to be with you. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn’t want to be with you?
Truth. There’s no point, anything you thought was love was just infatuation. Never get it twisted
And forcing them to like,love, or be with us would be selfish. They would be very miserable and not happy.
Yes! And let’s remember, the only person we’re always with is ourselves. So accept and make peace with yourself, then you’ll be at peace with others and you’ll be empowered to accept them as they truly are irrespective of their acceptance of you.
This mindset doesn’t work for me; far too painful.
@@IIAmHorseLoverthat's the point, the immense pain should help you let go.
Your love makes them special, without your love, they are just shadow
Holy sh* I've never thought of it like this ...
This is not a simple topic. My two cents is to not shame yourself if you are having a hard time letting go. Letting go can take a long time, but it will eventually happen. Use the process to learn about yourself.
Bien dicho.. well said
Bien dicho... well said
That is correct
This is so true
This. Don’t feel ashamed
Goes for friendships too. Hardest thing ever.
PERIOD
Yep going through it right now , idk what to do
yes what he says is perfectly true . but this video I think is about someone left you , sentimentally . I'm suffering another king of loss and is grief , I lost my parents in an interval of four months and as I had a very good relationship with them it's hard to get over ,even more being alone as I'm single ,😏 doctors say that I ll be fine ,but I miss them and I feel Kind of angry because they were still a few years ahead to live and it's so sad , I can't enjoy summer as before 😢
@@dr3l959same hurts asf
The worse feeling is when you have no friends around you. Nobody to talk, no places to go out. There is - just you and your thoughts
i'm really sorry :(
Same here !😒
To quote NA: "My mind is like a bad neighborhood. I shouldn't go in alone".
@@Kepi_Kei yup. What helped me recently was psychotherapy and a new hobby (photography and calisthenics). I wish you all the best :)
@@HCforLife1 ❤
"Attached for years..." That's me... Irregardless of all the hurt.
Yes I let them all go with zero contact. At this point though I feel nothing anymore and don't even want to try with so much effort and no return. Literally just went out to a nice restaurant on my own on a Friday night with a good book and can give zero fucks. 40 and still single and never really loved in the romantic sense sadly. I have been in therapy which has helped immensely and have so much to be thankful for from amazing health, no bad habits, creativity, world travel, no debts, high paying salary in my dream career, loving parents and friends, and lots of hobbies from my artwork to reading to film to travel. I'll probably live and die this life alone, but at least ill do so without holding onto lost hope and loving myself.
I’m immortal, I’ll live alone for all eternity 🔥
Sounds awesome that's why I been focusing on myself and my passions
My uncle said to me some time ago that you have to worry about yourself,very true words.
How are things looking for you? It's nice to know humans go through similar things despite being so different lol, I'm not even an adult yet. I got broken up with my one-year relationship yesterday because he wanted to "work on himself" to become a better person and it's the day after. So recent that he hasn't even removed my @ from his bio yet. He keeps saying it's for the better, but I was willing to do everything i can to stay together with him. That's when I realized that might be why-- he never felt the need to chase me because i was always chasing him. I hope i can get over this dagger in my heart before summer ends and i have to start school again. WIshing the best for everyone else in this comment section too. It's gonna hurt so much the first few weeks but learn to learn yourself.
Hold on you said high paying salary?….hey boo❤
True love will never break your heart. Attachment does..
The hardest thing of all is to grieve someone who is still living.
It’s hard after 5 years, a waste of 5 years. But it’s also freeing to no longer be a slave to the abuse…
Better than 26 years 🙏🏻💛😘
@@ItsAllGodAnyway are you safe and on your way to healthy now? If you ever need to talk I am here, if you need to pray I am here! God bless you on your journey, you got this!!!!!
@@ItsAllGodAnywayholy shit, you wasted like 50% of your life then 😂
holy cow 5 years??!!
@@ridababar59 5 years isn’t too bad! Considering someone else lost 25! I should sit down and be quiet… lol
My Mom used to say to me whenever I went through a breakup. “ I was fine without you before I met you” it definitely put things into perspective. Better off alone than with toxic and abusive.
I started crying when you spoke the truth 1:44
This hurts so much. I've often felt hopeless and worthless for not being with them anymore, even though its for the best. Ruminating constantly, for the passed few months, over whether I did enough, tried hard enough, sacrificed enough, did I hold on long enough, was I patient enough, etc etc etc... The stonewalling, trauma and inconsistencies with my former partner should be enough to convince me its the right decision right?? So why doesn't my mind and heart want to accept it. "Facing the truth" seems so simple and easy... but Im really struggling
This comment made me cry. I relate to this heavy.
bro, its so hard.
I know brother.. i know. Stay strong.
Yes bro ...Stay strong
@@myselfasevan ive been split up 5 weeks, hit the bottle, painkillers the anxiety of it all is making me wanna end everything, i just want them all to go away 💔
@marcprobert1444 I'm with you . I've been going though this the past couple days. It hurts so much .
They are letting us go.
When we are still love with them.
The memories and moments hurt
@@mrovalle231 im going thro the no contact stage and its absolutely killing me
For me, it's just the fact that this person let me go for stupid reasons. I waited so long to try and find a good, loving, supportive partner... I'm 40 now and I don't know, the older I get, the more I am beginning to think true real love exists maybe only with parents (or even just yourself), other love is just a farce. If my ex thinks he can find someone prettier, kinder, etc. then so be it, I know my worth. And I know the special qualities I am able to share with someone and that's not something I take lightly, at least not anymore.
My heart goes out to you and what you went through. I know it’s not easy. Love is a bit of a farce. In my opinion, most humans aren’t evolved enough to truly love another. Most of us haven’t even accepted ourselves fully. That’s why we’re still bouncing around from person to person like apes.
@@myselfasevan A lot of people are judgemental these days, including those I sadly got close to. Even people I WASN'T able to get close to. They were not only SELFISH in their ways, but yeah, judge left and right. It's SADLY become the norm (not to mention POPULAR) to do that, and to be a bad person. People have become too much in my (non-humble) opinion. They judge as if they are more perfect than you or better than you. Arrogant!
I’m older than you and I completely understand and agree with what you are saying
I think the point is to grow into love through the creation of family which is passed on through parent-child. Romance and s3xual passion aside from this important part are essentially meaningless because it does not fulfill what’s it’s ultimate end is meant to be.
i am 27 and i think its over for me
I recently went through a difficult breakup. My five year relationship ended a month ago, and it's been incredibly hard. I still have so much love for my ex girlfriend, and I can't seem to get her out of my mind. Despite my best efforts to win her back, nothing has worked, and the thought of being with anyone else feels impossible right now. I know it might sound odd to share this here, but I miss her deeply and can't stop thinking about her.
I completely understand the pain of letting go of someone you love. I went through a similar experience when my 10 year relationship ended. I couldn't imagine my life without her, so I tried everything to rekindle our love. I eventually found guidance from a spiritual counselor, and their support helped me bring her back into my life.
If you're open to it, seeking help from a spiritual counselor might make a difference. How did you find your spiritual counselor, and how can I get in touch with them?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he's an incredible spiritual counselor known for helping restore relationships.
Thank you for sharing this valuable insight. I just looked him up, and I'm genuinely impressed.
My boyfriend just broke up with me and feel completely hopeless, like no one will ever understand me like he does but he doesn’t want to try to work through things and it hurts so bad
My ex didn't even bother to break up with me he just cut me off completely without any explanation. It wasn't a good relationship, but the way he ended it hurt because I didn't get closure. This video helps a little thank you
He didn’t have the skills or maturity to tell you why- it sucks, but it’s another reason to let him go
This happened to me when I talked to this one female I was I to and she just ghosted me and I never heard from her again
This happened to me too. Worst kind of cesspool humans there is.
my bf of over a year (who i was living with) ghosted and disappeared, always remind yourself that disrespect and silence is all the closure/answer you need
I know your pain … so just remember when someone can do something cold such as this it shows their damage as they are broken … and let’s face it, this is not news to us … we will walk in the light 💜
I needed this. Was broken up with 2 weeks ago, and have been virtually housebound since, feel like my body is shutting down from the pain. I can't stop thinking about this person, but I know I must let them go in order to be truly free, that there's no going back. I realise this person would never get back together with me anyway, so what's the point in fantasy, but I cling to it anyway. Looking forward to finally being free.
You will get there. The first few weeks will be the hardest. It gets easier as time goes on.. keep letting it go.
❤
Be patient with yourself, give it a few months!
Hope you’re doing well now 🥺
❤❤❤❤
I went through a breakup a few months ago. We were together 7 years. I was extremely attached and codependent. Needless to say it was very difficult and emotionally jarring. BUT I’ve grown so much from it. I’ve regained my independence and realized I never want to feel that dependent on another person for my needs ever again. I feel much more secure in myself. And currently casually dating another person but decided to take a break since they admitted they were getting attached and I feel just fine because I know I will be ok without anyone else.
Love this. I admire you
Cool video. Unfortunately, my 4 year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me. I still love him so much and can't stop thinking about him. I've tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail. avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
It's difficult to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my 12 year relationship ended. I couldn't just let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is fatherabulu , and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
@@sarahluis5532please don’t fall for this rubbish. Your ex left you. It’s very painful but you have to face up to it. I’ve been there myself and it’s very painful but eventually you have to ask yourself and realise why are you putting so much energy in to being with someone who does not want to be with you? Do this, accept the situation and move on and this will free you up to meeting someone else.
I'm hurting so bad right now going through this. My heart is broken. 😢
Me too
❤🩹
@@eliteflow4kings ❤🩹
I’m going through the same thing. It really sucks
I swear
Once I fell really badly for one guy. It was just a fling for him, but I fell head over heels. A total catastrophe for me. I went to school I thought of him, I went out with friends I thought of him, I ate I thought of him, etc. And all I could see was, that he didnt care anymore at all. I was realistic about that.
I served myself the truth. I could count on: he is not interrested, he doesnt care, he will never call me again and probably hes onto the next one and there is nothing I can do. And that was it. I was free.
Too many words for chadstruck.
@@varuntripathi8712 Until your comment I didnt know that what I had experienced was a chadstruck 😂
I just wanted to paint a picture that there is way out- the truth taken in rather brutal way.
I asked for a sign , and your video popped up. So I know what to do . Painful but true . Much love to all out there going through this ❤
I sign for us to chat?
It hurts for sure. But every day gets better
Hope you're doing well
I got this video earlier too it just popped up so I took it as a sign too
It’s called heartbreak for a reason it physically hurts like your heart is breaking. personally for me I feel like I’m suffocating without them.
@@girlygirl402 lean into it
It's very true leaning into it is the best solution...I suffer from anxiety and I find it's very similar to a panic attack, extreme discomfort but itl pass, and then come back and then pass again, you just need to ride those waves and slowly the waves get less and easier to wash over you.
100% the advice to follow on letting them go. It's alright to have put your whole heart into a relationship and believe that other person was "the one". Really, you should put your whole heart into any relationship if you believe in it and want it to be the one. Just remember it is OK if it doesn't work out and you are OK, you're only human. Letting go is hard. Experience those emotions, don't hide from them, and then let go. Don't torture yourself.
"If your attachment to that person that makes you think like they're so special. In reality there's no one that special. We are all just people. We all have been through different experiences and have done different things." .....when you become so hyper focused and your so attached to that. ....you ego .
I like these lines. This really helped me. We put people on pedestal and worship them. And we are so miserable for them and they don't even care about us. May God help me to detach myself from these people.
Yeah bro it’s tough. I think especially after conflating your spiritual journey with a relationship be it through concepts of “twin flame” or “soul mates” you get extra attached to this idea that you need them to fulfill your spiritual purpose when that is not the case
That’s a really good point!
Exactly!
I once heard someone ask a spiritual teacher if soulmates were real. He replied "God is your true soulmate". It's so true. People can come and go, but God will never leave you.
Yeah that’s BS tbh 😅
That's soo me
🙏💜
This is the best advice on breakups I’ve seen. Just feel the grief. Set yourself free.
What’s helping me but it’s hard still. “ Life is an experience and people are experiences too, it’s only right to move on to allow yourself to experience someone new who will truly align with what you bring to yourself and to the table period” 🙏🏽
Let go of family and toxic friends too .
Yup
Hard to let go of a toxic person when they are family that you love so much
@@jennaletizia5430 what ? If family loves you they wouldn’t be toxic
@@mermaidlu5125 I know it in my head but my heart hurts. It’s my toxic sister and now she has my granddaughter giving me the silent treatment. I am heartbroken. Christian friends say I should be happy they aren’t in my life anymore
Be careful to not alienate yourself and call every little thing toxic. If you're making everyone walk on egg shells to conform to your definition of "not toxic" you might be the toxic one.
Thank you ❤ just last night I realized after 4 years of “off and on” that I need to let go, he will never be with me.
Don’t look back. Keep walking. I wish you all the best
Did that for 7 (4 years is also a *very* long time!!), and let me tell you woman to woman, deciding the last time was going to be *the last*, was the best decision I’ve ever made. If I could go back and tell my younger self how much healthier, and freer I feel now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Just make sure to stay strong when they reach back out (bc they will)!! Change your # if it’s easier, block on everything else, eyes forward love.
@@liminal-cc3gohow did you cope with the initial empty feeling… breaking the habit of wanting to message… ?
If you love a flower, you don't pick it. You water it.
You leave it where it is, shine brighter, and let them bask.
It's the way she just turned cold towards me almost immediately post breakup.
Yep. That's the craziest part. Feels like a bad dream.
@@i2pjd6hRw5P All good. I no longer want her. Even though we're on amicable terms and spoke on my bday last week, little does she know , I'll never answer or respond to her again 😂
This part.
she started calling me ‘Dude’ right after break up… it was a reality check
I think it's a defense method people use to try to detach & not feel anything. Some people would rather you hate them so it's easier for them to move on which is immature & selfish
"The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal" - C.S. Lewis
I was not ready, first heartbreak at 32 lost everything my home, girlfriend, plans of a future everything. The only thing that has saved me is cycling, I've rode hundreds of miles possibly even 1000+ in the last few months. Not only does it jabe me in amazing shape but mentally it helps so much. Its hard to be sad riding a bike.
For me it was strength training. I hope we find peace within ourselves someday 🙏🏽
I realise all you're saying is true but it doesn't make it any easier on the heart 😢
@@anastazjamalczyk7683 how are you feeling one month later?
@@i2pjd6hRw5P Hi, It's been two months and a half since the breakup and just under a month since our last interaction. It's painful. I'm much, much better but still, I feel the ache in the chest when I think about him still, and I do get sad. For me, the saddest part is not even the breakup itself, because much of it was mutual (lack of compatibility and different expectations), but the fact that it was done with such care and mutual affection and we promised we'd stay friends, and we were, for a while, before contact faded out (on his end), and without a final goodbye he just stopped initiating any conversations. I'm still wondering whether to wish him happy birthday in a weeks' time or just leave it be... I still care for him so much as a person, and I hope he's doing well. But his indifference, when he was the one begging me to stay in his life as friend (though I wanted it, too), hurts. But I chose to forgive him and my feelings toward him are good and I wish him best. I tried reaching out twice, asking him if he still wanted to stay in touch and twice he confirmed he did, but then not a word from him. And I doubt I'll hear from him ever again, maybe a "Thank you" if I decide to send him the B-day wishes. Not sure I should, though. Oh my, you were only asking how I was doing and here am I pouring out a longer story. Sorry about that!
no, it doesn't, and that sucks
It doesn't. But if you keep working on yourself then overtime you will feel lot better. We don't want to feel stuck and miserable so we have to put in work including watching this video. Think like losing weight, it's hard and painful but if you do you will lose weight and will have healthy body.
@@EvaCFrickeit's been 3 years for me. Time for Therapy
One thing that can help is Journaling. When i find myself obsessing over the relationship and how it was in the beginning and what i think could be, i reread my journal. I journal everything i am feeling and what my partner has done to me. Every argument. So, going back and seeing the patterns and all the hurt is helping me let go❤
The timing that this video was recommended to me is impeccable.
Man why’s this mad so underrated when he’s the only one who made me feel good about my breakup
thank you my man. And goodbye my first girlfirend. I value everything we lived, it is a shame it didnt work out, but I must let you go. I wanna be free again. You see, there is this really cool dude I must take care of, and I have been letting him down. And that is myself. Goodbye.
🥹🥹🥹
Only know you've been high when you're feeling low.
Only hate the road when you're missing home
Only know you love em when you let em go
And you let em go 👌🏾
I can hear your comment haha
I’m going through the same emotion, I feel betrayed, and want to be the one to dump her. But at the end of the day, she was toxic. I feel sometimes getting her back would be the last thing that I want; but other times, it just feels like why couldn’t this work!
It’s so frustrating when it takes a chunk of your energy, focus & time!
“You don’t truly want to let it go, you have to want to”. Deep.
Thanks so much! Especially if the person is still married but separated. He was never emotionally available. Life is short, it's time and it's just a matter of time to feel better. Happiness can only be found inside yourself, not in other people.
I think the solution is found in
Unconditional selflove.
If we know how to truely love, then we will be at peace when they do not want us anymore or when we are no longer happy together because we want the best for both.
Its still gonna be painful, but because you let go from a place of love its probably easier.
The reason why now it is hard for many people is because their selfworh and selflove are dependent on another person loving them.
Whatya think?
True facts
Agree
This really helps. I somewhat resent her, I could hate her in order to let go easily, but that's not who I am. I still want the best for her. Thinking of her reaching out is more than an ego trip for me, because deep down I know it wouldn't work despite putting effort as there are fundamental incompatibility issues, broken trust and lack of respect involved. It brings me peace of mind accepting she did the best she could with the tools she had (and so did I) in order to move on.
I do believe this quote "Time heals all wounds"
BRO!!! You have no idea how helpful this video is for me! I just let my best female friend/surf partner that I've known for over a year how I felt about her 2 nights ago. I made myself vulnerable and opened up my true feelings to her. She did not reciprocate or feel the same. She told me she only views me as a friend and nothing more. But interesting, she also asked if it was possible if we could continue to surf and remain friends. I told her that being friends was not an option and thanked her for all the fun times and wished her the best. Then blocked her everywhere, so that I can be strong and move forward with my life. It really hurt that she didn't feel the same, as I thought she sent mixed signals over that time we hung out. Anyway...as each day goes by, I am getting STRONGER 💪🙏🏽. Thanks also to AMAZING videos like this one. Keep up the great content. I am now subscribed! 💯
I can only hope it feels better. It's been 10 years and my ex still plays over in my head, I'm messed up- and no therapy has fixed me. I just accept I may always be this way. I let them go awhile ago. Some people rebound in a week. Try ten years. I am free. I am good. I am love- this is my philosophy now. I'm grateful for a lot in my life. I'm grateful for my body and its patience.
sending much love to you in your journey
currently letting go of the one i love the most and what hurts about it is they love me back we just do not know how to be together peacefully. ❤️🩹
@@hbk2akajoker I felt that. My partner and I are similar- we love each other but our lives do not match and neither of us did good trying to do better.
Thank you we will heal🙏✨ much love to you
Wow, 10 fricking years. I can't even imagine myself in that spot. She dumped me 3 weeks ago to be with someone else, I fear that I will never find someone like her. I barely function and it hurts like hell. I don't know how to move on, I want her back even if she is with someone else and can't stop these thoughts.
@@ferit7418 dude I feel you. It's the hardest feeling to cope with. I've dated since but nobody has fit the same, which makes the missing part harder. I feel strong now, I do have dreams tho still. You've got to love yourself during these times and know that there is someone out there who is searching for you just as much. Time heals, peace
@@coolbaj Man, I'm literally a mess. And hearing that so long you didnt find someone that made you happy like her doubles my anxiety. I'm trying so hard to heal but knowing she is with someone else, got over me and forgot me and knowing there wont be another chance and there is absolutely no one like her in the world is heartbreaking. I don't see an exit from this.
I find that when a relationship ends I feel more emotion than I ever did during the relationship. The grief of a relationship ending makes you forget the pain that you actually felt so often during the relationship. It helps to remember all the hard work that you put in and all all the time you invested just trying to keep the relationship working and trying to keep that person in your life. That's what you're grieving when it comes to an end: the time, energy and hope that you invested that you wont get back. Relationships are incredibly difficult, and they're not the solutions to all our problems that we hope they'll be.
Stay single.
Enoy solitude and growth, and all of the rest of the drama, pain; self-doubt and suffering will dissipate into the ether.
When you truly grasp the depth of joy in peace, you will wonder why it ever mattered to you in the first place.
Have a purpose in life that exists outside of attachment to another.
That is happiness.
Only in that space can you be good for anyone else, and vice versa.
Thank you for your comments. It is helpful.
No why tf we waste our life for someone who never reciprocate our efforts
Evan, I want to tell you how appreciative I am to you. Thank you for your honesty. I have to admit, I was doing the same thing - I was playing it in my own mind that me and him would get back together, perhaps one day we could revisit it, etc. etc. etc. but it's just so toxic. I believe all it is is my own pain and trauma that I have to deal with. It's less to do with that person. Every time I thought I was getting better, I always slip back. I guess I just really should be patient with myself, and just repeat the whole process time and time again.
Its so exhausting yearning for someone who dosnt want you . I was with my partner they fell out of love still continued to pursue me and moved abroad and now he has found someone there . Its just so frustrating to be this person who lets them in regardless of what they do . I dont care how much strength it takes i will not look back
Everytime i get myself into a depressive rutt over my current breakup I'm going to watch this video. Thank you.
I stumbled upon this video at a time when my world feels like it's falling apart. Going through this breakup has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Each day is a battle, filled with overwhelming sadness, tears that seem endless, and nights where sleep is replaced by nightmares. I never imagined I'd be in this place, feeling this broken, but here I am, trying to navigate through the pain.
This video has given me a glimmer of hope, a reminder that it's okay to let go, even when it feels like I'm losing a part of myself. Letting go of someone I once loved deeply is heart-wrenching, and the thought of moving forward seems impossible. But hearing these words, feeling the empathy and understanding behind them, brings a small measure of comfort.
To anyone else who might be reading this and feeling the same way, know that you're not alone. We're all trying to heal, to find our way out of the darkness. Let's hold on to the promise that, in time, we will be okay. Thank you to the creator of this video for providing solace in such a raw and vulnerable moment.
What your saying is so true. But 22 years together and I feel I wasted a good portion of my life. That he could act like we never existed. And litterly just break my heart.
Going thru the same thing..but 21 years.He just left me yesterday
@@carolsealey538 I'm so sorry
@@Rinesmyth thank you
This !
That's heartbreaking 💔 you deserve so much better.
6:11 I feel the hardest part about this is that I start to notice all of the bad things that I did, I was loved so much and because I couldn’t just man up and hold myself accountable for my actions as well as how I conducted my feelings I lost someone who not only loved me but was also my best friend.
this couldn’t have showed up in my recommended at a better time. thank you for making this video dawg. much love.
All great points! I had a co worker I knew for over 2 years who I thought was the coolest person ever, then when she quit without telling me, and I tried to reach out she ghosted. Shit hurts like hell, because there’s no closure there, and I was left wondering if it was me, then I realized it wasn’t. It just wasn’t meant to be.
You learn to love yourself more and appreciate what you have to offer the world. And if the world doesn’t want it, give it to yourself. Great vid my man!
You’re right but it still hurts to think about it.
Just like you… a MILLION times I let it go… no contact and blocked for over a year and still I found your video today! Thank you for this!
If you were married this looks different. Every guru telling you to detach trust me allow yourself to grieve as long as it takes even if it’s years. Don’t beat yourself up in the least. Detachment works when you were not covenantly attached. Meaning if it was a boyfriend or girlfriend. If they were your spouse it will take time. Heal, therapy, one step infront of the other at a time. Small wins like making your bed, feeding yourself wholesome food, get sunlight, journal, cry, cry some more then some more. Show yourself grace and compassion because it’s not easy. You will heal and then the detachment will come. ❤
Bf and gf but if you’ve been together over 13 years it hurts all the same bcus you feel. Married to them
It's even harder when you were married to the first person you ever dated or kissed and you have a kid together. It's soul crushing.
The way you talk is so soothing. Straight forward to listen to and cutting out all the bullshit. Thank you for your words. It has given me a great deal to think about. Admitting to everything and just accepting it for the now. Let the cry happen and then move forward. That’s where the healing starts. Thank you
Excuse me. I will not let go of my husband of 20 years, a happy life. The tapestry of life and intermingled us so much. Its not just a relationship between 2 people. 2 families, a life time of memories and a foundation for our future.
I will keep asking for restoration. Its not an old fridge. Its a marvelous humanbeing.
@@gloriatucker9796 best of luck.
Whatvyou saying? He left and you keep asking for restoration?
Or am i picking up the story wrong?
Dont give up the memories give up the person he has become now that caused him to leave you. They cant take away your genuine happiness back then
I think this video came at the perfect time for me. If I was to watch this a few years ago, I wouldn't have been able to completely receive the message. I would have understood intellectually but not emotionally. After doing a lot of work on myself, I am at a place where I can listen to this message and truly apply it. Thank you for making this.
Watching this video amidst my heartbreak brings a sense of understanding and comfort. Every day feels like a struggle, filled with tears and sleepless nights haunted by nightmares. I never imagined I'd face such pain, but here I am, trying to find strength. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to let go, even when it feels impossible
@@MeMyselfandEye127 Hey, first off, don’t ever apologize for venting. I totally get where you're coming from. When you're going through something as raw and painful as heartbreak, it’s so hard to imagine life ever feeling normal again. I know what it’s like to stay up all night, feeling like the weight of the world is sitting on your chest, and staring at an empty space that was once filled by someone who meant everything to you.
It’s okay to cry more than you think you should. Society often tells us how we should feel or act, especially as men, but emotions don’t work like that. It hits hard, and it’s real, and pretending it doesn’t affect us only makes it harder in the long run. I know it can feel like you’re drowning in your own thoughts sometimes, and there’s no clear way out. But trust me when I say, you’ll make it through this, one day at a time.
This might be a chance to reconnect with yourself, to do things you enjoy, even if it feels pointless right now. You deserve peace and happiness, even if it doesn’t feel that way in the moment.
It’s been two months since you left this comment, and I hope that by now, things are a little lighter for you. Healing doesn’t happen all at once, but I’m sure you're finding your way, piece by piece. I believe you’ll be okay. If you ever feel like talking or just letting it all out again, don't hesitate. We’re all just trying to heal in our own ways. Stay strong.. You’ll get through this. We both will.:)
If it’s helpful when you reach a certain age it gets easier because you have the wisdom of discernment in the first place not to be attached to the wrong person or situation. The ideal would be to gain this wisdom sooner than later to save you from the pain but it’s akso part of life’s homework and lessons ❤️
I'm shocked cause my bestie just left me last night I'm in unbelievable pain I was sobbing then your video popped up I really needed to hear this thank you May Allah bless you❤
Same but I pleaded w God jesus
I dont think you understand how MUCH i needed to hear this. Thank you.
It hurts but it's for the best
hey man i just want to say thank you this actually helps and i hope others will get helped with this too God bless
This is the video I need to listen each day the moment I wake up before I do anything else.
Hi evan. I came across your video trying to look for help. Thanks for this. This is a tad too long but mine’s a bit more embarrassing.
I found a group of idols a few years back and instantly fell in love with one of them because of their looks. Over time, I got to know more about her, her character, her humor, her kind soul, how she acted on and off camera/stage, and her balance between being timid and confident. This made me love her for who she is and not on looks anymore! We even have similar hobbies and mannerisms. This connection got deeper as I learned more about her past, about how she was hurt and harassed. I felt a stronger connection as I too was bullied when I was little. I often got beat by higher ups when I was a kid, to the point that I could not even take off my shirt at home so my parents wouldn’t see. This sort of sparked something in me to want to like “protect” her, to not let her be harmed more than I was anymore. My “obsession” wasn’t affecting me that much yet at the time, until last year when I got depressed. I started obsessing more, I started becoming defensive and hostile, I started wasting my time for her activities, I started to lose sense of who I was. Then something happened. I’m not exactly gonna say what, but it made me realize how much time has passed since I met her. I realized that we’re all growing older, that she may one day find a person she loves. Embarrassing yet the truth, I broke down, for a whole week. I did nothing but have delusional thoughts with partial weeping sessions. I still had some before opening UA-cam right now. It was mostly the pain of knowing that I would never be with her, that I wouldn’t be there to protect her, that I wouldn’t be with the woman I deemed to have the attributes I enjoyed being with. To cope with the pain, I’d punch the wall until my knuckles went black, I thought physical pain would be better than mental and emotional pain, but alas, night time came and here I am weeping again. In my years of being alive, I haven’t found nor even seen a person similar to her. It’s not the thought of “not being able to find someone” for me, it’s more of “not being able to be with the person I have heavy feelings for in my one and only lifetime” that is crushing me. Sure I may find someone else, but it’s not her. I know I still have problems and I’m trying to fix it, but it’s very painful. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. To those that might read this, apologies for a long story. I hope that both you and I can learn to move on, as Evan said.
This is very good advice. You have to decide 100 per cent it is not them and let them go, mourn. It can be hard to face the truth when the other person has constructed themself as a lie that they’ve presented as truth but once you see it, keep hold of that and don’t go back! You are worthy of being free and better will come once the blockage from that old energy is removed. Thank you for sharing your wisdom ❤
didn't thought i would be needing to watch this while bawling my eyes out
the getting the last word in to feel like you rejected them is so real yet feels so toxic lmao, helps me keep my peace tho so wtv works
Thanks for this, saw this and felt nothing. I have let go of what was and are now open for what to come ❤
we got this i had to let go of a friend 2 days ago because the discredit was so loud but we got this ❤
I genuinely wanted to get over this person, so what I did was I broke no contact to let myself get rejected utterly. It ended up helping in the long run since I stopped hoping for a future where they come back.
Wish I would’ve heard this months ago. Everything you’re saying is completely accurate. Good and wise words for anyone going through detachment.
Been single for almost 8 years now and it’s been a blessing. 🙏🦋
Being single gives you so much peace.
@@Westindiangyal1111 amen 🙏 and much more… 🦋
@@infinitybless7132 so much more ❤️
I really needed this video and I’m glad it popped up on my feed, my partner broke up with me about month ago and I was still attached to her and still am but since I found this video I feel like I can actually start letting go and focusing on myself and my goals. I’m going to better myself and hopefully find someone but right now I need to focus on myself and letting go so that I can be free.
That was a helpful video. The moment you said « your mind is playing a trick on you » helped in particular.
Great video and advice. The only part I struggle with is 6:00. I think she really is that special. It’s been 3 years and in that time I’ve met and dated plenty of other people and none of them measure up to her.
It’s the most difficult when the people you want to let go is your mother and brother. If it’s intimate partner you don’t have to see that person ever again if choose not to. But it if it’s your family it’s doubly hard.
Also every desire is symbolic to the brain, you want someone because your brain associates their love with something.
I had an eating disorder and I was terribly addicted to it until I realized I associated self destruction with the freedom of being loved out of pity. Pathetic, but I felt like the only way I could be loved is if I hurt myself and I associated that love with being free to be myself.
I was insanely obsessed with a guy. I was experiencing limerence and he never even looked at me. I didn’t even want him, he was a drug addict, we were not a good match but for some reason he was my symbol of freedom, confidence and enjoying life.
You don’t want the person. You don’t want the thing. You want the feeling. It’s all in you. NEVER forget that.
The pain is real. But it’s not really heartbreak. It’s a break from who you really are and what you really want and what really makes you happy, you just experience it through losing a person but yourself is who you’ve lost long ago, they just remind you of the pain of that loss. Take your time to heal and create what they meant to you on your own.
Beautiful
7 months and still crying for her 😢
Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This I Was Involved With Someone Highly Manipulative/ Narcissistic This Person Has Destroyed My Life My Self Confidence And Self Esteem I Never In My Life Seen Such Evilness.He Discarded Me Like Trash Telling Me To Never Message Him Again.He Has Destroyed My Life.I Thought This Was The Cruelest Ever He Is Posting Photos Of His Girlfriend On Social Media After Discarding Me. I’m So Broken! I’m Severely Trauma Bonded To A Narcissistic/Monster.