5 Psychological Techniques a Narcissist Uses To Destroy You

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  • Опубліковано 27 вер 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 123

  • @narcabusecoach
    @narcabusecoach  4 місяці тому +10

    Link to my best resources for healing:
    linktr.ee/narcabusecoach

    • @enosh_art
      @enosh_art 4 місяці тому +1

      I have paid amount for master co parenting.... where can I get all stuff. Please reply

  • @dj8422
    @dj8422 4 місяці тому +16

    Best example of that, when my alcoholic and narcissistic father tell me, how dare am I to think he is drinking??? Meanwhile, the bottle of alcohol is next to him on the table. And I show him the bottle and he behaves like he doesn't see it "I don't know what are you talking about???!". It's totally crazy how they can deny facts. I'm at my breaking point now, because he is not only twisting facts and evidence but somehow twisting my minds too....

  • @Isabela2024-yr
    @Isabela2024-yr 4 місяці тому +32

    You're on point, Danish. Narcissists are reading you wrongly, and they think they're always right. You know what? I counter attack that crazy assumptions of the narcissist. I told him, Stop complaining about me. If you are not happy, the door is open wide for you. Live somewhere else where you can be happy. No one is forcing you to stay with me. That's my answer to his accusations. He shut up because he knows he's wrong.

    • @Atheistbatman
      @Atheistbatman 4 місяці тому +11

      Run. He didn’t shut up because he’s wrong…they are not capable of that. He stopped because he will get you back. He will get revenge in some way later you can’t imagine.
      Run and do not look back

    • @tulip811
      @tulip811 4 місяці тому +3

      Girl YOU go pls

    • @76482
      @76482 4 місяці тому +8

      ​@@Atheistbatman, So many miserable levels to those narcs but I totally agree with you after 40 years married to one. Soon as we let up and think life is "normal" again, is when they'll ponce.

    • @AzuraShad0w
      @AzuraShad0w 4 місяці тому +5

      @@Atheistbatman I totally agree, they are not capable of accepting that they could ever be wrong , they plan ahead and will pay you back for even the smallest slight

  • @pheart2381
    @pheart2381 4 місяці тому +4

    I've just recalled something that recurred regularly throughout my parent's marriage. If my mum broke anything,or a bulb blew when she turned a light on he would shout at her for ages that it was "the way you THUMP the kettle down,its the way you SNAP the light switch on,its the way you SNATCH at the tap". Mum is so terrified of breaking anything she wouldnt even change the batteries in her own radio. She would put the batteries next to the silent radio for when he got home from work for him to do. How sad. He also had a near obsession with door slamming,or rather what he percieved as slamming. If we closed a door or even a cupboard loudly his reaction was completely disproportionate.

  • @CynthiaSchoenbauer
    @CynthiaSchoenbauer 4 місяці тому +21

    I see how you say they are rigid in their beliefs. It makes more and more sense.

  • @01splitpea
    @01splitpea 4 місяці тому +17

    My second spouse of 18 years was, as you describe, extremely rigid. I wasted years trying to force a square peg into a round hole. But, I finally learned I cannot control others, I can only control myself, and what I will and won't live with. My former spouses both had admirable qualities, but compromising was not one of them. Onward!

  • @01splitpea
    @01splitpea 4 місяці тому +13

    We can't make people want to change.

  • @matikramer9648
    @matikramer9648 4 місяці тому +18

    Thank you, Danish
    Looking back now I was right to leave them as they were and where they were
    I wish I knew about narcissism 20 'years ago
    It would have saved my life and saved my mental health

  • @sohinisen3042
    @sohinisen3042 4 місяці тому +13

    Each one of them is accurate. Very well explained as usual!
    They use these techniques in a very subtle way so that one is caught unawares. It takes some time to understand the workings of their mind and then you realise how insidious they actually are.
    They leave no stones unturned to kill/destroy your spirit. Never allow that to happen.
    Thank you for sharing this extremely insightful video. 🙏🏻

  • @AsifSyed123
    @AsifSyed123 4 місяці тому +21

    There are billions of these narcissists out there and they all seem to be connected remotely.

    • @Kelly-oe8kr
      @Kelly-oe8kr 4 місяці тому +5

      As unique and special as narcissists think they are it's remarkable how narcs all over the world, across different generations, who have never met each other before, all seem to use the same playbook.

    • @paulclinton6414
      @paulclinton6414 4 місяці тому +4

      No joke, there has to be at least a billion in the world by default.

    • @paulabowman3320
      @paulabowman3320 23 дні тому

      I have read estimates of the numbers of narcissists in the world by psychologists. One said that they estimate one in every seven in the world. Another said one in eleven. And this is worldwide. So there may be a billion, maybe 700 million. The numbers are staggering.

  • @Patricia-nx1so
    @Patricia-nx1so Місяць тому +1

    They assume knowing you better than yourself it’s their biggest mistake.

  • @sonjamccart1269
    @sonjamccart1269 4 місяці тому +6

    Once I understood that all of their nasty comments about me and my son were actually projecting their own thoughts, desires and insecurities....it all made total sense! Now I know that HE was the one that was using me financially, whose personality completely changed the second I could not turn around and move back to the state I had just moved from, etc. etc. Now it doesn't bother me, I could care less what he thinks. This has helped me plan and make arrangements to move back near my son and sister.

  • @kristineoietibbits596
    @kristineoietibbits596 4 місяці тому +15

    And the truth will set us free thanks again, my brother🚀

  • @toddaspaur
    @toddaspaur 4 місяці тому +8

    I know it's not a unique situation but mine is surviving a horrible car wreck with spinal injury facial disfigured and learning to walk again. But the recurring nightmares were nothing compared to finding my wife had an affair and a very narcissistic personality. The trauma from the complete abandonment and trying to completely destroy me, has been more than I can bare. There is no book to learn how to treat someone like me. I've isolated myself from everyone but I know this is not healthy.

    • @tinaureta9891
      @tinaureta9891 3 місяці тому +2

      Dear soul, YOU are IMPORTANT TO GOD… the Devil has come down upon us says the Bible. It’s absolutely imperative that You REMEMBER “YOU ARE NOT ALONE”. Thousands and thousands have and are experiencing the evil that you have been attacked with.
      Me..26 years.. the SAME STORY!
      But I DAILY REFUSE TO BE BROKEN. I DAILY read my Positive Affirmations, I DAILY seek the Lord reading the Book of Psalms.
      Never give up… keep going… go outside and SEE THE GLORIES OF GOD in Nature.
      Jesus Loves you

  • @prophet1782
    @prophet1782 4 місяці тому +6

    Wow. That is very deep. My narc mum never accepts if someone ssys he"s tired.
    A narc bro wouldnt accept if i was feeling sick.

    • @joseenoel8093
      @joseenoel8093 4 місяці тому

      No kidding they'll run when you mention something's wrong with you, wait 'till they bang their foot, I asked him if he wanted me to call him an ambulance 🚑 after having done so last week, no reply, omg he'd yelled out loud like he'd taken a bullet! 😊

  • @gazeup5655
    @gazeup5655 4 місяці тому +9

    Wow great advice I experienced all of that w my narc husband it made my head spin trying to find the truth. Thank God I know now that he was only using me

  • @tinaureta9891
    @tinaureta9891 4 місяці тому +7

    Wow!!! This is soooooo ACCURATE!
    I believe BASHIR is God sent! Thank youuuuuu Bashir. Thank youuu!
    😢😢

  • @msshan-l1y
    @msshan-l1y 4 місяці тому +3

    I signed up for a one on one , I cannot wait for danish to help me understand and confirm what I been asking for years !! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @bookmarkmonaco4255
    @bookmarkmonaco4255 4 місяці тому +4

    My narc ex husband had an argument with himself about what he decided I was thinking about him. He asked the question, answered it and has got mad at me.

  • @laxmitomar5254
    @laxmitomar5254 4 місяці тому +1

    They are proud of themselves
    That's confidence

  • @seekerofgrace2058
    @seekerofgrace2058 4 місяці тому +2

    Exactly. Crazy making.

  • @MeCynthiaAnn
    @MeCynthiaAnn 4 місяці тому +7

    Thank you again Danish..always such great truth you give in these videos.
    God bless you always.
    From JANESVILLE, WISCONSIN USA

    • @lindat1317
      @lindat1317 4 місяці тому +2

      I’m from Janesville ❤😅 in Columbia County now…

    • @MeCynthiaAnn
      @MeCynthiaAnn 4 місяці тому

      @@lindat1317 OOOOOOOOH WOOOOOOOOW…… You are from Janesville? How long has it been since you lived here? How awesome is that.

    • @jangunning1676
      @jangunning1676 4 місяці тому

      ​@@MeCynthiaAnn Hi! to you and @lindat1317 🙋😃. How interesting that you both are in Wisconsin and I'm new here also!! It's the Kenosha area for me. Looks like we all three have something in common besides being neighbors. Danish does fantastic in these videos. I've learned a great deal and he's been such a blessing in many ways. However, it helps to conversate with those who understand as well. We sure need all the support and encouragement we can acquire but there's blessings in being the supporter and encourager too.
      My story is a complex one and this year has been very hard from the start. I hope to tell my story where I can in hopes that it will create beauty for ashes not only in my life but for others as well. There's healing and strength for ourselves too in giving hope to others. Amen!
      I am currently still in my devastation of betrayal and chaos. I'm heartbroken many times over and it feels like there's too many shattered pieces to ever be made whole again. Even in the healing though, my wisdom assures me that I'll never be the same. My vision, my view of many things has been altered or completely changed. I feel the tremendous weight of it all both negative and positive. I'm learning too, that acceptance is vital to change. Your life really does depend on it because it determines your actions and you react accordingly. No matter what we do or say to try to "help" the person we love....we do not have the real power to do so. You can't help someone who has even turned away from their own beauty within and doesn't even believe their own truths. I have not only come face to face with what narcissism is, but it's reality that it devours so much and that it's a mental war declared and you didn't see it coming because you didn't want to see it at all. Denial. Denial about someone you love that you thought you knew, yet became your enemy of your well being. I've fought acceptance of these things and trying to "see the light" of peace and joy in the midst of it anyway. I've caused more problems for myself by not accepting reality of the situation. I have chronic health problems and all this and the situation plus unaccepting things has only prolonged my mental, psychological, emotional and physical pain. Now my health issues are increased in severity and the abuse of narcissism has created more. I've cried oceans and demand answers but the truths of those tears of pain are mixed with whispers of "knowing" that refuses to be denied. The depths of our soul and spirit longs for the sunshine to peer into every crack of our being....and those broken hearted pieces. I think the moment of the most powerful truths is when we hear our own souls gently tell us...... the only person we can really save is ourselves. Hope and faith are part of what acceptance is.
      I know I need help of various resources , new friends in a new state and city (I'm from Illinois) but I've taken the first step towards my own changes to rebuild my life and that's acceptance. As Joyce Meyer says: "I may not be where I need to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be"......(she's referring to changing mentally). We are all a work in progress. Keep the faith everyone and I sure hope I've helped in some way. Thank you for your time in reading all this. Stay strong and also accept that you are not alone spiritually or with people who understand and may we all help each other along our paths to greater light by being one.....🙂🙏🙏✝️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

  • @PolinaB.G
    @PolinaB.G 4 місяці тому +6

    I can confirm every word with 22 years of life with a narc husband now, without counting the previous 20 surviving my narc mother..

  • @VampBalletDancer
    @VampBalletDancer 4 місяці тому +1

    Gods! Did you know my narcissists? My father and my ex-partner got called out and described so accurately that it truly is eerie. Thank you for the reminder that my abuse stories aren't unique and none of us are alone in the terroristic hellscape that is the narcissist's world.

  • @User-vibes1523
    @User-vibes1523 4 місяці тому +4

    I'm eagerly waiting for this topic & wanna know about it.
    After listening the whole episode..I'm just speechless! How would you know every inch of this evil person!?

  • @lauraantic1384
    @lauraantic1384 4 місяці тому +4

    When i speak truth he became violent so to save my life i had to make things up to survive even today it breaks my heart couse i was forced to say things i never done and Danish is right they are cruel delusional dictators

  • @dclarke1896
    @dclarke1896 4 місяці тому

    I can't believe I have dealt with this for so long! Thank you, Danish! 🙏

  • @user-q992
    @user-q992 4 місяці тому +1

    Life with my narc mother who started abusing me from the age of 3 felt like moving forward with a sack of potatoes on my back!
    Managed to break free from her, only to end up with a malignant narc husband and life with him feels like carrying a sack of stones on my back😮

  • @PearlTheSpinster
    @PearlTheSpinster 4 місяці тому +5

    When you finally stand up for yourself and say you are bipolar and now you have to prove to CPS that they are lying. Proudly showed my Diagnosis that im not and kept it moving

  • @rolymishra-kb4th
    @rolymishra-kb4th 4 місяці тому

    Absolutely Right sir...

  • @BobTheSchipperke
    @BobTheSchipperke 4 місяці тому

    Proactive non-cooperation meets purposefully misunderstanding.

  • @jilll4649
    @jilll4649 4 місяці тому

    I find it hard to reflect on how much I’ve tolerated. It helps to learn all their tricks. It’s relief to know it’s not me. So many times I quiz myself and wonder if it’s me. Being able to see their behavior and place it in terms like gaslighting, projection, manipulation etc helps. Hindsight is 20/20.

  • @helpinyerdasellavon
    @helpinyerdasellavon 4 місяці тому

    So accurate. Thank you, Danish ❤

  • @prophet1782
    @prophet1782 4 місяці тому

    Very very Deep insight Danish.
    Now i can relate n understand certain people in my life.

  • @mashkr
    @mashkr 4 місяці тому +4

    Danish can you also do specific videos on narc abuse at workplaces?

  • @MMM-tp3hv
    @MMM-tp3hv 4 місяці тому +2

    People keep saying why don't you try couples counseling, after I've given up. And this rigidity of thinking and extrememe manipulation is the reason I don't want to (They can manipulate counselor too). How to convey that to others.

  • @rashmigama2417
    @rashmigama2417 4 місяці тому

    Spot on😊

  • @rh5273
    @rh5273 4 місяці тому

    Omg u are so spot on!!!

  • @jennelleschulzeck9426
    @jennelleschulzeck9426 4 місяці тому

    Everything you just stated, Danish, is my husband to a "T". Thank you for helping me to understand.

  • @Mirok605
    @Mirok605 4 місяці тому

    keep up the good work sir

  • @charlie-girl72
    @charlie-girl72 4 місяці тому

    All my parents... its absolutely torture❤

  • @bonitaclaireloveday-wp9rq
    @bonitaclaireloveday-wp9rq 4 місяці тому

    Thank you Danish
    Much L💚vE & Respect to you👏😊

  • @JanieceRiley
    @JanieceRiley 4 місяці тому

    So it's another win situation

  • @janetmcbee
    @janetmcbee 4 місяці тому

    I thank you.
    But I'm in a mad mode.
    I wouldn't dare ask those questions.
    I guess I'm in grief.
    I won't hold on to this anger, its a Negitive, and I chose to not hold negitivity inside myself.
    I think by telling you and everyone this, it has helped me
    Don't be quiet.
    I can't belive he still has a hold on me,,, to a point.

  • @olayinkafelicia353
    @olayinkafelicia353 Місяць тому

    How i wish i knew all these many years before now?

  • @mayhemslim1217
    @mayhemslim1217 4 місяці тому +1

    In the no contact fase ..... but my mind is only drifting to her ....... she broke my heart and spirit.

  • @JenniferHobbs-yo2tr
    @JenniferHobbs-yo2tr 4 місяці тому

    This guy is great!👻🧘👣

  • @faithsdaniels8366
    @faithsdaniels8366 3 місяці тому

    I was laughing at the rigid thinking. They expect you to get the million while they stay in bed. Dillusional for sure

  • @patlewkowicz6339
    @patlewkowicz6339 2 місяці тому

    Yes❤ !!!!!!

  • @yonettekelly2406
    @yonettekelly2406 4 місяці тому

    Okay so true
    So Danish how do I respond to these narcissist techniques? Please do a video on how to respond to these techniques they use on us in order to overcome them.

  • @prophet1782
    @prophet1782 4 місяці тому

    Danish ano v deep narc trait.
    When my narc mum wud see me n my eldest sis together it bugged her.
    Same with an Aunty if me n her eldest son. She'd go mean towards me.
    I'd like to know the precise pin point reason.

  • @sandradorsey5001
    @sandradorsey5001 4 місяці тому +3

    I 💬🤔 think this is in their 🧬 DNA, other ancestors, I'm sure they were this way. And some people it skips in family's. They are 👿 demonic as well because, they know what they are doing.

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 4 місяці тому +5

      It's in everyone's DNA ever since the fall. Some people choose to go with the evil and sear their conscience. They become their own god and see the mere mortals as playthings. They open up doors where demons can now use them as playthings.

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 4 місяці тому

      ​@@dakoderii4221💥

    • @lonnamercier7833
      @lonnamercier7833 4 місяці тому +2

      @@dakoderii4221. Perfect explanation.

    • @sandradorsey5001
      @sandradorsey5001 3 місяці тому +1

      So true

  • @EvelineChristian-z5m
    @EvelineChristian-z5m 21 день тому

    Hall Cynthia Moore Nancy Harris Lisa

  • @tulip811
    @tulip811 4 місяці тому +2

    I still don't understand how y'all lived like this for 20 years. Is 20 years the limit to endure the pain lol

  • @myisha9254
    @myisha9254 4 місяці тому +1

    First

  • @foelddraig142
    @foelddraig142 4 місяці тому

    Genuine question: If we know that narcissists are born from trauma and abuse at a young age.. dont they deserve some support and understanding? They didnt ask to be as they are.

    • @tommcewan7936
      @tommcewan7936 4 місяці тому +2

      They deserve it, but it's not safe to try and give it to them, and they are incapable of accepting it anyway. That's why the condition's so tragic, we all became their victims precisely because we tried to be reasonable, kind and understanding to them, and in their toxic shame they loathed us for it and compulsively used it to control us. You simply can't help them; they hate the mere idea of being helped so much that they'll react as if you'd tried to hurt them. The more kindness you show them, the more they will hate you.

    • @foelddraig142
      @foelddraig142 4 місяці тому +1

      @@tommcewan7936 I understand your view. However after being abused by a narcissist and learning about narcissism I reflected and realised I had been behaving in a narcissistic way myself all my life (but in a lesser way). I am trying not to be that way and it is a concerted effort to really think about how I behave and react. I dont want to be this way any more..

  • @duromusabc
    @duromusabc 4 місяці тому +36

    Numbers 2 and 3 are called narcissistic splitting
    They hate nuances and can’t understand nuances (shades of gray - mixed bag of pluses and minuses in working progress of growth) -
    Because of narcissistic splitting, narcissists cannot grow themselves

  • @Mirok605
    @Mirok605 4 місяці тому

    keep up the good work sir

  • @amitk2017ak
    @amitk2017ak 3 місяці тому +3

    This has to be one of the best and concise information channels. They way in which you describe these people is scarily accurate and spot on. Thank you for your great work. Until now I only used to describe what they were doing without knowing it was called narcissism.

  • @hettykoster9447
    @hettykoster9447 4 місяці тому +10

    Mind reading is the most dangerous one indeed !! It is mysterious and scary ….

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 4 місяці тому

      They hook into your psyche from the demonic realm.
      They have help.
      They're not that smart. They have arrested development.

  • @01splitpea
    @01splitpea 4 місяці тому +10

    You make absolute sense, Danish Bashir. I've endured 2 marriages totalling 30 years of all you're saying. Bad days then, but better now that those two husbands are in the rear view mirror. Keep up the great work! I've shared to my social media. Cheers!

  • @nicoloclemente6564
    @nicoloclemente6564 4 місяці тому +93

    Sending love to all those who are fighting these demons, especially if they are your 'parents'. We are the bravest, we have Satan in our home and we are still moving forward.🎉

    • @nikkitran3501
      @nikkitran3501 4 місяці тому +5

      🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @liseduedue2715
      @liseduedue2715 4 місяці тому +4

      Good explanation 😞😎🦁

    • @marijkevandermeer2772
      @marijkevandermeer2772 4 місяці тому +2

      Exactly 💯❤

    • @Melissa-cl2bl
      @Melissa-cl2bl 4 місяці тому +2

      🤗🤗🤗❤️

    • @rahulm2827
      @rahulm2827 4 місяці тому +4

      Thank you and lots of love and healing to you as well.
      I write really long posts on this channel which helps me to figure out things that actually happened and I did not realize the meaning of them ever in my life. Danish's explanations really help me to figure out many things I didnt even realize subcounsiously.

  • @theyellowshoe
    @theyellowshoe 4 місяці тому +5

    The more "research" I do I'm wondering if my (or any) narcissist has brain damage or some trauma he had. According to him he had a decent childhood, had both parents upper middle class, while myself I had a crappy childhood.

  • @VanessMorgan-bb6pp
    @VanessMorgan-bb6pp 4 місяці тому +2

    They're very cold-hearted and they have no sympathy for anybody yes they did I think they know everything but they don't know everything I was in a narcissistic relationship but I left it because it became it was hard to get out of that I left it I felt like I was walking on eggshells

  • @raidenewalden4354
    @raidenewalden4354 Місяць тому +1

    Wow ! That’s really scary . The more I have information about this narc the more nervous I am . I didn’t realise I’m dealing with one .

  • @Dsrgroup555
    @Dsrgroup555 4 місяці тому +2

    Ultimately my narcissistic wife will pay heavily for her actions And no will support her
    Bed ridden with no one

  • @KatHay27
    @KatHay27 4 місяці тому +2

    Perfect combination.
    Tough love yet soothing.
    Thank You

  • @vinaykeesara8273
    @vinaykeesara8273 3 місяці тому +1

    Do narcissists try to have a child with you to keep you in the relationship to control you?

  • @janetmcbee
    @janetmcbee 4 місяці тому +2

    I can't belive I feel stupid .

  • @gigiw.7650
    @gigiw.7650 3 місяці тому

    Because I lived with a Narc for so long, (24 years), I know how to deal with them. Shut down. She'll never be happy, so why make an effort? Stay out of her way as much as possible. Try to be supportive to my son but since he thinks that she can do no wrong I have to take care of myself by getting my own place.

  • @susanralph274
    @susanralph274 4 місяці тому +1

    so they are biometric devices.

  • @aparna1170
    @aparna1170 2 місяці тому

    Since we are family type people we see them also as family type people. But they are not. If we see
    Them as who they are we won’t be researching so much trying to understand them

  • @Itsmeandthatsok2
    @Itsmeandthatsok2 3 місяці тому

    My husband cheated and said, Well I came home to you.

  • @indukumhar4504
    @indukumhar4504 4 місяці тому

    Why they come in our dreams

  • @patlewkowicz6339
    @patlewkowicz6339 2 місяці тому

    Most definitely

  • @nikkitran3501
    @nikkitran3501 4 місяці тому +1

    Thank you so much

  • @trappers707
    @trappers707 4 місяці тому

    My narcissistic father hits all the points in this video. It's amazing and sad how he actually thinks this way and believes he's the one that should get the all the praise for everything, even though other people including myself have helped him throughout his journey smh🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @VanessMorgan-bb6pp
    @VanessMorgan-bb6pp 4 місяці тому

    An update believe what they want to believe and everything they say about me is not true because I keep putting me down and I'm still traumatized by this a little bit because it still keeps laying out my mind

  • @Atheistbatman
    @Atheistbatman 4 місяці тому

    No No No No No (with a scrunched up face) for 56 yrs…even if it’s what they said a week before or they’ll say No it’s (whatever I just said). Everything I uttered was answered with No…so quick and automatic and consistent.
    In February I said No More, No Mas no mas and have felt better every day
    No contact means No Contact and it is good

    • @Amanda-ev3lg
      @Amanda-ev3lg 4 місяці тому

      Oh goodness the sky is blue.."no.."

    • @Atheistbatman
      @Atheistbatman 4 місяці тому

      @@Amanda-ev3lg No it’s blue

  • @Sarah-qw7lj
    @Sarah-qw7lj 4 місяці тому

    Bless you