When a Narcissist Can't Control You, They Try These 3 Tricks

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

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  • @Kris_Reece
    @Kris_Reece  3 місяці тому +291

    FREE Narcissist Survival Guide
    krisreece.com/narcissist-survival-guide/

    • @zenaidarodriguez332
      @zenaidarodriguez332 3 місяці тому +21

      I am always bei g blame for everything everything is all my fault even when my mom passed this year

    • @jeffreyoliver4735
      @jeffreyoliver4735 3 місяці тому +9

      Kris why does it choke us up when we pray a prayer admitting our sins to him and other people. I have taken responsibility my share of the problems in our marriage but I am finding mostly silence. If I am the problem why not just tell me and I can ask God to work on the problem through prayer.

    • @NoGMOGod
      @NoGMOGod 3 місяці тому +5

      @@Kris_Reece" FREE narcsisist Survial Guide"...I found this to be very humourous for some reason. My Mom ..yikes...is a control freak. I pray for her.

    • @NoGMOGod
      @NoGMOGod 3 місяці тому +1

      ​​@@zenaidarodriguez332 I'm presently awaiting my turn at being guilted after my mom passes. I left. Didnt care about inheritence, nothing. My mental health and dignity cant be bought.

    • @yamonagajraj8561
      @yamonagajraj8561 3 місяці тому +1

      N

  • @sandrathomas2893
    @sandrathomas2893 3 місяці тому +1308

    No empathy
    No regard
    No remorse
    No accountability
    No conscience
    IS VERY DANGEROUS!

  • @michaelmartin9335
    @michaelmartin9335 3 місяці тому +1455

    I was married to a narcissist who was hoarder for 35 years. I was diagnosed with cancer and I could no longer live in that house safely. They wouldn’t treat me until I found a safe place to go at that point she filed for divorce when she found out she could no longer control me. Praise God I’m free from the night nightmare I’m free from cancer now.

    • @kellymccance1342
      @kellymccance1342 3 місяці тому +70

      What a beautiful gift! Another chance! 🙏👏❤️🥛🍯

    • @ardellasmith6169
      @ardellasmith6169 3 місяці тому

      @@michaelmartin9335 Amen ❤️

    • @sherricharles8149
      @sherricharles8149 3 місяці тому +41

      Praise God!!!

    • @debbievoss3496
      @debbievoss3496 3 місяці тому +43

      Cancer came to me too. Enough is enough.

    • @cheanarchist2381
      @cheanarchist2381 3 місяці тому

      @@michaelmartin9335 your blessed u got out that easy , I was framed & sent to Prison & had both sons legally kidnapped at 3 & 7 , while I lost everything at 27 , I hope your doing well & recovered well from all you’ve faced with health , in Jesus name honey .

  • @heathermixson1265
    @heathermixson1265 3 місяці тому +1271

    Their mere presence is exhausting

  • @timothygrisack486
    @timothygrisack486 Місяць тому +20

    They do not have true empathy and zero accountability!!

  • @lilylane4246
    @lilylane4246 Місяць тому +416

    No contact and pure silence starves the narcissist.

    • @patriciawright8087
      @patriciawright8087 Місяць тому +12

      @@lilylane4246
      Mine uses silence won't even talk about anything important or just everyday conversation.
      I'm always the problem...if you would do this I'll talk to you, even if I did he don't remember what I said a minute ago. Always changes the subject, on walks away for for some reason that doesn't make sense.

    • @lilylane4246
      @lilylane4246 Місяць тому +8

      @patriciawright8087 I'm not doing this to hurt this person. I want this person out of my life and to stop harassing me. Done. Over, but I see it's different when you're trying to save your relationship and that it's worth it to you, and it very well may be. If I thought it was worth saving mine, I would try, but I have a different situation. This person is terribly toxic and detrimental to my life. I should have said in my circumstance. I n my opinion your person is quietly attacking you mentally. Do it your way always though, but I wouldnt give your person the time of day anymore, and if they don't get it together, they can just plan on going solo.

    • @patriciawright8087
      @patriciawright8087 Місяць тому

      @@lilylane4246 I'm strong with God and Jesus
      He has to be accountable with them.
      I have no fears facing them.

    • @parazazparazaz1996
      @parazazparazaz1996 Місяць тому +11

      Horrible individuals the narcissist I didn't even know there was such a thing until discovering it myself who was in a relationship with a narc for too long.

    • @labazoops
      @labazoops Місяць тому +12

      Passive aggressive covert narc!

  • @maaikw7645
    @maaikw7645 3 місяці тому +858

    When a narcisist thinks they are punishing you by giving you the silent treatment but you feel hopeful and happy because he finally respected your boundaries by giving you the space you need 😂

    • @teresagarcia7580
      @teresagarcia7580 3 місяці тому +12

      I just got a community discard lol😂 I think lol😂

    • @-norsecode-
      @-norsecode- 3 місяці тому +7

      PREACH.

    • @LydiaTheBusinessWoman
      @LydiaTheBusinessWoman 3 місяці тому +38

      Yup😅😂 that's my sister, haven't spoken to her since last summer. I'm so happy. I don't think she thinks she's respected my boundaries, I think she thinks she's punishing me lol

    • @Theresa-zl4pp
      @Theresa-zl4pp 3 місяці тому +8

      @@maaikw7645 Perfectly said lol I couldn't have said any better 😂😂😂🤣🤣

    • @tammyday2422
      @tammyday2422 3 місяці тому +14

      @maaikw7645 I clicked to read in case there was a surprise attack was a thing. I've watched NY weight go down and Blood pressure drop to normal. Anxiety gone due to leaving and just not caring at all!

  • @stephaniejones229
    @stephaniejones229 2 місяці тому +397

    'You go to them with an injury they have caused you, and they re-injure you all over again....HOW TRUE!!!!

    • @VijiThomson
      @VijiThomson Місяць тому +6

      @@stephaniejones229 very true

    • @kme3894
      @kme3894 Місяць тому +4

      this is how my recent relationship ended abruptly, over the phone. They said (yet again) something unnecessarily hurtful while I was sharing something very personal. I brought it up to them, calmly. They lashed out with rage saying they were "clearly" joking (it was a hurtful "joke" at best, then) and that I am not hurt (denying my own feelings) and I can't take a joke. Follows a monologue of how I am always ruining everything. No consideration for my hurt feelings whatsoever. The call gets interrupted by my dead battery. I text this to them. No reply. Silent treatment for the next 15 hours. Finally, a voice message stating they obviously cannot be themselves in front of me, so we need to break up.

    • @lionesss06
      @lionesss06 Місяць тому +4

      Yes! Ive been there

    • @laneneal3510
      @laneneal3510 Місяць тому +1

      Or just says no you don’t or so why do you feel that way?

    • @capnbly
      @capnbly Місяць тому

      @@kme3894 You cannot destroy the illusion they have created for themselves. Any threat to their illusion and they will use all tactics to CONTROL you and if that doesn't work, they will dump you in a heartbeat.

  • @bridgetwalker5249
    @bridgetwalker5249 22 дні тому +11

    Recovering from 47 yrs of an intimacy avoidant covert narc, who now hoovers our middle daughter who he preferred to neglect when she was an infant to an adult.. She no longer wants a relationship with me. I know he has given a load of lies to my friends... Despite me knowing them yrs... Being discarded was painful but i left at 72yrs and despite having CPTSD i have peace at home, i have control of my money, food and social life, i regained my self respect.....

  • @JAZZLlFE
    @JAZZLlFE 3 місяці тому +957

    The very kindness and understanding you give to a narc thinking it will help them heal are the very things that feeds the beast that is out to destroy you! Your compassion is their weapon!

  • @laridion7901
    @laridion7901 3 місяці тому +576

    Passive aggressive covert narcissistic 🙋‍♀️ I no longer look for closure. Fully trusting God for my closure, truth, and comfort. 👍

    • @heatherl.3919
      @heatherl.3919 3 місяці тому +11

      Yes...Me too ❤🙏🦋

    • @hmmmhmmm2477
      @hmmmhmmm2477 3 місяці тому +15

      And me. You will never have closure because the change too often, erratic emotions have no reasoning.

    • @janiecepoush1904
      @janiecepoush1904 3 місяці тому

      I studied extensively 6,000+ Hours. YES, you CAN have Closure… The Same as an obese Person can lose 2-500 pounds & develop Abdominal Muscles… If they take the correct steps, & are Consistent!
      I strive to Turn away from the PAIN & only use that pain as a CLUE, NOT a DESTINATION or INDITEMENT, for my Life!
      Then, I strive to fill my Life with JOY, Spiritual & Temporal, by Choosing Healthy People to Surround Me.
      But, my best Blessings, come from my pursuit of fulfilling: Hobbies, Interests, Work, & Passions! I strive to Cleanse my Inner-Heart, by not only Sweeping out the Toxic & Malignant, but then Filling my Life, my Heart, my Psyche, & my SPIRIT, with GOD’s JOYS!
      I try to Remember… My Life is a Journey toward Self-Actualization, which is a FULL LIFE, of my BEST POSSIBLE! An EMPTY HOUSE is NOT a HAPPY HOUSE. To accomplish anything worthwhile - I must TAKE ACTION. Even FAITH, is the ACTIONs of the HEART & MIND!
      🙏🏻Closure -Go Forward & Only Look Back for Learning & A Measure of your Current Change & JOY! 🙏🏻🌸☀️🕊🍃

    • @NoGMOGod
      @NoGMOGod 3 місяці тому +14

      Amen. Ive tried to be the most decent person I know how to be....it took me a LONG TIME to even believe God loved me. Finally........FINALLY I can believe it.
      And KNOW that he loves you so much too.

    • @shainanash8518
      @shainanash8518 3 місяці тому +3

      yay, for you. You are strong....

  • @pamelamism
    @pamelamism 2 місяці тому +454

    One thing I’ve noticed is they ask questions as though they’re interested, but actually just fishing to get some dirt , either on you or on someone else. They love gossip. Their questions is only a fishing exercise.

    • @jcubed821
      @jcubed821 2 місяці тому +17

      @@pamelamism Thank you for your comment! I never realized what he was really doing and why. You explained it perfectly.

    • @terileef8272
      @terileef8272 2 місяці тому +23

      The more they dig the more they will use it against you.

    • @cherryte689
      @cherryte689 2 місяці тому +13

      Oh when narcs questions more likely it's more than fishing around.
      They shameful people

    • @CollectivelyCraig
      @CollectivelyCraig 2 місяці тому

      ​@@cherryte689 but youll all be socratic method ?? Logos and socratic I am ? No thats gasligjting
      Intensifying my tactic

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      Hayyi Rabbi
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      In Mandaeism, Hayyi Rabbi (Neo-Mandaic; Classical Mandaic: ࡄࡉࡉࡀ ࡓࡁࡉࡀ, romanized: Hiia Rbia, lit. 'The Great Life'), 'The Great Living God',[1] is the supreme God from which all things emanate.
      Hayyi RabbiOther namesHayyi, Life, The Great Life, The First Life, Lord of Greatness (Mara ḏ-Rabuta), King of Light, The Great Mind, TruthAbodeWorld of LightSymbolLight, Living Water (Yardena)EquivalentsManichaean equivalentFather of GreatnessGnostic equivalentMonad
      Hayyi Rabbi is also known as "The First Life", since during the creation of the material world, Yushamin emanated from Hayyi Rabbi as the 'Second Life'.[2] According to Qais Al-Saadi,
      [T]he principles of the Mandaean doctrine: the belief of the only one great God, Hayyi Rabbi, to whom all absolute properties belong; He created all the worlds, formed the soul through his power, and placed it by means of angels into the human body. So He created Adam and Eve, the first man and woman.[3]
      Mandaeans recognize God to be the eternal, creator of all, the one and only in domination, who has no partner.[4] "God is worshiped alone and praised as the Supreme Force of the universe. He presides over all the worlds and all of creation."[5]: 40  In Mandaeism, sahduta is the belief in One God [5]: 43  (c.f. Middle Aramaic שָׂהֲדוּתָא "testimony"[6]).
      Names
      edit
      Hayyi Rabbi is also referred to in Mandaean scriptures as Hiia Rbia Qadmaiia ࡄࡉࡉࡀ ࡓࡁࡉࡀ ࡒࡀࡃࡌࡀࡉࡉࡀ ('The First Great Life') or Hiia Rbia Nukraiia ࡄࡉࡉࡀ ࡓࡁࡉࡀ ࡍࡅࡊࡓࡀࡉࡉࡀ ('The Alien/Transcendental Great Life').[7] Other names used are Mara ḏ-Rabuta ࡌࡀࡓࡀ ࡖࡓࡀࡁࡅࡕࡀ ('Lord of Greatness' or 'The Great Lord'), Mana Rabba ࡌࡀࡍࡀ ࡓࡁࡀ ('The Great Mind'), Malka ḏ-Nhura ࡌࡀࡋࡊࡀ ࡖࡍࡄࡅࡓࡀ ('King of Light') and Hayyi Qadmaiyi ࡄࡉࡉࡀ ࡒࡀࡃࡌࡀࡉࡉࡀ ('The First Life').[8][9] Kušṭa ('Truth', ࡊࡅࡔࡈࡀ) is also another name for Hayyi Rabbi, as well as Parṣupa Rba ('Great Immanence, Great Countenance'[10]: 1 ). In the Ginza Rabba (in Right Ginza books 1 and 2.1), the divine countenance of Hayyi Rabbi is referred to as the "Great Countenance of Glory" (ࡐࡀࡓࡑࡅࡐࡀ ࡓࡁࡀ ࡖࡏࡒࡀࡓࡀ, parṣufa in Neo-Mandaic).[11] In the Asut Malkia, a commonly recited Mandaean prayer, another name for Hayyi Rabbi is Aba Rba ḏ-ʿqara (ࡀࡁࡀ ࡓࡁࡀ ࡖࡏࡒࡀࡓࡀ 'Great Father of Glory').[12]
      According to E. S. Drower, the name Great Mind or Great Mana refers to the "over-soul" or "over-mind", the earliest manifestation of Hayyi, from which the soul of a human might be seen as a spark or temporarily detached part.[13] In book three of the Right Ginza, Hayyi is said to have "formed Himself in the likeness of the Great Mana, from which He emerged".[14]
      Brikha Nasoraia writes:
      Sabian Mandaeism is clearly a monotheistic religion but it treats the subject in its own unique way. The Sabian Mandaean view of God differs from the Abrahamic religions in an important way in that God is not the creator of this earthly world but the creator of the Light World[s] (Almia ḏ-Nhura). God is the First Cause of the creation of everything. He creates life as the 'First' manifestation. This First Life grows and emerges in various forms, levels and dimensions. God creates the 'Divine Primordial Elements' from which and by which the formation of the worlds and lives in all formed and emanated. God is worshiped alone and praised as the Supreme Force of the universe. He presides over all the worlds and all of creation. Yet the Sabian Mandaeans believe that the creation of the earthly life comes about through the command of God, but it is entrusted to a lesser emanation, also known as the fourth life (Ptahil) with the assistance of Gabriel (Hibil Ziwa) and other Beings... God has no father, no mother, no son, no brother. He is the First and the Last, because He is the Eternal One - the Pure Radiance and the Great Infinite Light. For the Sabian Mandaeans, God/Hiia [Hayyi] is the Creator of the Worlds of Light and the One who oversees every other aspect of creation. Although He is not the literal creator of the earthly world, He, nevertheless, is directly involved in the process of its salvation. When the world was created, it was not perfect as it was not created by the First Perfect Being (Hiia) [Hayyi]. Therefore, God (Hiia) [Hayyi] was moved by His compassion for life to inject Light, Life and Ethereal Water into the world in order for the earthly beings to gain redemption.[5]: 39-41 
      In prayers
      See also
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      Last edited 11 days ago by Nebulousquasar

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    • @CollectivelyCraig
      @CollectivelyCraig 2 місяці тому

      Kissing a man in supreme court. I finally all he can maybe do is make it. The wisdom is nothing. What we have for Jesus. Just in case. A flood. I dont hav3 a hedge of protection or an inner voice or baited. By who? I wish. Who?

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      Creatio ex nihilo
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      "Ex nihilo" redirects here. For creation from pre-existing matter, see Creatio ex materia.
      Creatio ex nihilo (Latin for "creation out of nothing") is the doctrine that matter is not eternal but had to be created by some divine creative act.[1] It is a theistic answer to the question of how the universe came to exist. It is in contrast to creation ex materia, sometimes framed in terms of the dictum Ex nihilo nihil fit or "nothing comes from nothing", meaning all things were formed ex materia (that is, from pre-existing things).
      Tree of Life by Eli Content at the Joods Historisch Museum. The Tree of Life, or Etz haChayim (עץ החיים) in Hebrew, is a mystical symbol used in the Kabbalah of esoteric Judaism to describe the path to HaShem and the manner in which he created the world ex nihilo (out of nothing).
      Creatio ex materia
      Creatio ex nihilo in religion
      In modern science
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      Last edited 11 days ago by Citation bot

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  • @Jake-eq7jz
    @Jake-eq7jz 14 днів тому +27

    If they're not blaming it on you they're projecting it on you. You're 100% right. Their image is what matters to them more than anything. And you wonder why they're even with you because they don't agree with anything you say.

  • @williamloree905
    @williamloree905 3 місяці тому +244

    They think their needs are more important than yours- I have to learn to take care of myself.

    • @SuzanMiller-ou5kq
      @SuzanMiller-ou5kq 2 місяці тому +7

      I have acquired some health issues since living with a narcissist and he is a doctor. He has told me he will not help me. He knows I am stuck here. I am not in a relationship with him thank goodness but still being in the same House with him is literally killing me.

    • @teri7206
      @teri7206 2 місяці тому +5

      @@williamloree905 They hate you for taking care of yourself. Even seem confused about the very idea.

    • @stephaniejones229
      @stephaniejones229 2 місяці тому +4

      Self love is needed and it has to be your focus.

    • @reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql
      @reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql 8 днів тому

      100%! They respect no boundaries, they just ram over… They will sulk, play victim, throw a tantrum, gaslight… whatever antics needed to obtain what they want. They are psychos.

    • @reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql
      @reginamemoriesforever-vc8ql 8 днів тому

      100%! They respect no boundaries, they just ram over… They will sulk, play victim, throw a tantrum,… whatever antics needed to obtain what they want. They are psychos.

  • @bethanybailey202
    @bethanybailey202 Місяць тому +145

    No weapons formed against me shall prosper❤!

    • @dahanabaxter4401
      @dahanabaxter4401 18 днів тому +2

      Amen.
      And every tongue that shall rise against you thou shalt condemn.
      PTL!!!

    • @kimber5965
      @kimber5965 7 днів тому

      Amen ❤

  • @hannice5592
    @hannice5592 2 місяці тому +102

    "Do not take your hurts to a narcissist" He will only make it worse. Believe me. Tested and proven. Regret comes after doing so. 💔

    • @上口秀文-c4y
      @上口秀文-c4y 2 години тому +1

      OHHH... HANNICELY... WHAT HAPPENED WITH SOMETHING JUST REMEMBER THIS... AND BLESSED YOU, AWAKEN HIM UP!!
      MY COMMERCING ON VIDEOS ABNORMAL YOUR AFFILIATES LIFE BY MY EMILY CAN'T GET BEFORE ENDED TO MISSED IT. MY MOM WASN'T CONVINCED TO WASTED YOUR TIME AFTER BY AFTER... AND MY 0000 CHRISTIANITIES GENERATIONAL OR SIXTHTIES CENTURY INSIDE WILL BACK... MY TIMES WASTED YOUR TIMES BEFORE MOM'S CONVINCED WAS TISSING ME... SHE DON'T W.C UNDERSTAND... YOU'LL NEVER WASTED MY TIMES AFTER CALL THE CONVINCE ANYMORE. UNTIL I REALIZED AND DON'T GO TO TOLERATED IN THE PASTED... AND DON'T WORRIED TO WASTED YOUR TIMES IF NEVER EVER UNTIL I REALIZED AFTER CALL THE CONVINCE HER ANYMORE. MY LITTLE FAR MILES AGO OF SANTA CLAUSLY PEOPLE IS COMING TO TOWN OF SAID AND EVERYONE WITH THERE LOVED ONES, HAVING FUN FOR THE APPRECIATES OF HOLIDAYS. OR CONFIRMATION CELEBRATE THE HAPPY NEW YEAR ANYMORE. THANKS FOR THE SHARING, KRIS REECELY.

  • @nadavodopija4162
    @nadavodopija4162 26 днів тому +33

    “God will wead out people they do not belong to you “ helps a lot

  • @susieq4123
    @susieq4123 2 місяці тому +204

    Married to someone like this who had complete control over me. When the last child married and moved out I told him he was not going to control me ever again. The explosion was unbelievable with him accusing me of every vile thing one can image. I left the next day and never looked back. Got counseling I needed and treatment for depression. The freedom I felt was undescribable.

    • @lynnpyka3103
      @lynnpyka3103 Місяць тому +1

      Harray!!!!👏🏼🙏🏼❤️

    • @mrs.h4484
      @mrs.h4484 4 дні тому

      @@susieq4123 you can bet once you left, they made up a lot of vile things about you.

  • @karenhinson8002
    @karenhinson8002 2 місяці тому +74

    Yep, trust...They. Do. NOT. Care. About. YOU. At all. Period.

    • @sharonsobolewski3707
      @sharonsobolewski3707 10 днів тому +3

      absolutely all their talk how they love you but their actions dont match one freakin bit

  • @RachelAnne32
    @RachelAnne32 2 місяці тому +228

    The accuracy is insane there isn’t one single word here that I didn’t experience first hand. The smear campaign is so real!! It’s sickening!

    • @str8_flashtv584
      @str8_flashtv584 2 місяці тому +6

      I know tell me about it smh

    • @MrProfessional777
      @MrProfessional777 2 місяці тому +3

      They're the devil in the flesh.

    • @lisamorrison1484
      @lisamorrison1484 2 місяці тому +4

      10,000,000% uncanny accuracy! 😦 😵 🥺

    • @reneewiemann
      @reneewiemann 2 місяці тому +7

      @RachelAnne32 You'd almost think we've all experienced a relationship with the same... the exact same person. It's weird how she can describe exactly how the behavior transitions from one tactic to another in the absolute correct order... just weird.

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 2 місяці тому +3

      @@reneewiemann not weird. It's the same spirit.(s) Jezebel and Leviathan spirits working together. They even say the exact same things.

  • @fattounaish
    @fattounaish 25 днів тому +23

    A narcissistic relationship shakes our entire being...our view of ourselves, of existence...of God...an earthquake that destroys us...we have to rebuild ourselves from scratch...thank you for the channel ...for your words of wisdom🌹🤍

    • @sharonsobolewski3707
      @sharonsobolewski3707 10 днів тому +3

      if you put god first god will build you up starting over the right way is always the best and thats with god

  • @dianaanderson4453
    @dianaanderson4453 2 місяці тому +188

    We want closure, we want to show the narcissist we’re onto them. But Kris is so correct that it only backfires on you. Your only closure comes from going no contact.
    And don’t ever defend yourself against any accusation they throw at you. You don’t owe them a response.

    • @Diamondsandpassion
      @Diamondsandpassion 2 місяці тому +7

      @dianneanderson4453 thank you for your comment. This really helps me. My biggest thing is the closure. I had no idea about this. I was worried it was just me and I was unworthy

    • @saragolightly
      @saragolightly 2 місяці тому +8

      I am really struggling with this right now. I want to tell him so bad. He is a bully. I know what he was doing. I see him.
      One thing I have learned in therapy is that it's ok to write this out if that helps. There's a huge difference between writing it and sending it.

    • @LisaNeWoman
      @LisaNeWoman Місяць тому

      It doesnt work in a toxic narcissist workplace where everyone is forcing you to not leave when they talk to you and then you cant even tell your narcissistic family that and they all blame me so how does one deal with this?
      It feels so isolating without anyone that supports me and im so selfish for standing up for myself to them gaslighting me for years.

  • @BOBBY-FRANKY
    @BOBBY-FRANKY 2 місяці тому +173

    The greatest problem, though, is when they gaslight you behind your back.
    Love to all who are here. ❤

    • @ninath13
      @ninath13 Місяць тому +9

      People looking at you like your the Crazy one

    • @BOBBY-FRANKY
      @BOBBY-FRANKY Місяць тому +7

      @@ninath13 Yeah, n gettin' feedback from the persons that the narcissist has bad mouthed you to. The narcissist tries to justify their bad treatment of you to them. Hope this never happens to you, my friend(s). ❤️🌹

    • @CeliaMitchell-ot5ir
      @CeliaMitchell-ot5ir Місяць тому

      WHOA. Gaslight you behind your back. YIKES!

    • @UltimatePowa
      @UltimatePowa 18 днів тому

      @BOBBY-FRANKY
      Don't view or treat them in the same way you view or treat most people.
      Not to say they ought to be viewed as not human, as they still are human, however they should not reasoned with, nor negotiated with, nor given the shoulder to cry on, nor the forgiveness.
      Forgive them for yourself, however never let them do such a thing again to you that would require such forgiveness.
      They will say what they are going to say, your actions and the way you love other people whom they attempt to turn against you will speak for itself over time, and such attempts will backfire against them.
      Let their own actions be the source of your justice/vengeance, and still back and watch the show.
      If they have done this to others, it'll only take a couple weeks, and if others are unaware of the narcissist, may take up to year.
      Recently lived through this myself.
      Play dumb, act like they do have control, don't let them know you know, and keep them at an arms distance. As long as they feel as if they are in control, they will play nice.
      Hard to do when leaving a relationship, though this tactic works with family and friends.

  • @AlfredaJones-ei2bs
    @AlfredaJones-ei2bs 3 місяці тому +256

    Narcissists are just like Judas can't be trusted they have too much darkness if you know God he will bring it to the light because God is light🙏🙏🙏

    • @JillLeVin-lg8qn
      @JillLeVin-lg8qn 3 місяці тому +9

      Please give a segment on how to help the young children in the family who are in the wake of this dysfunction.😢

    • @AlfredaJones-ei2bs
      @AlfredaJones-ei2bs 3 місяці тому +5

      Look for the normal things that they never did before that's awakening in the family learn how to trust them and don't just focus on their behavior all the time and do some good research on good motivation from coming out of awake dysfunction it's a lot of materials and resources out there 😃.

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 3 місяці тому +5

      @@AlfredaJones-ei2bs Dr. George K Simon( author In Sheep's Clothing) authored a great book 'The Judas Syndrome' A Christian perspective on narcissism.
      I highly recommend all his books. He's the authority on this subject IMHO.
      Psychology and UA-camrs group everyone that aligns with a narcissist as codependent and that's not the case at all so they never get the proper knowledge needed to avoid becoming ensnared by these folks.

    • @ruthvickrey4930
      @ruthvickrey4930 3 місяці тому +2

      Same. If they are teens show this video with them.

    • @Yvell
      @Yvell 3 місяці тому +3

      Descendants of Cain.

  • @chrislarsen8722
    @chrislarsen8722 Місяць тому +55

    Always back to the gaslighting. You will never get a straight answer. Don't waste your time, especially your energy. All of is this is spot on based on my experiences.

    • @ceceb9082
      @ceceb9082 Місяць тому +3

      Its maddening. I got so physically mentally everything exhausted from this. 4 days no contact and the peace I feel....God thank you for sending this beautiful messenger❤

  • @tastysidewalk4676
    @tastysidewalk4676 2 місяці тому +127

    Rage is terrifying. that's the intimidation.

    • @sangeethakalaivanan4127
      @sangeethakalaivanan4127 Місяць тому +4

      @@tastysidewalk4676 my husband when he is angry and in rage. My god his eyes comes out and he yells to the core

    • @psalm91.777
      @psalm91.777 Місяць тому +4

      Same here, I get so scared I shake,

    • @Ace.0.0.0.
      @Ace.0.0.0. Місяць тому +5

      @@tastysidewalk4676 rage/anger is an extreme example of fear.

    • @ancconsultant8667
      @ancconsultant8667 7 днів тому +1

      @@tastysidewalk4676 mine told me becarful what I say or I’ll have a early death.

  • @cindyhunker6474
    @cindyhunker6474 3 місяці тому +202

    I married one. Went from he worshipped the ground I walked on to 3 years of. Degrading , physical abuse, cheating , left Pennsylvania and drove to California, palms springs, till I felt I could deal with it. I am not worthless, God is good to me😊

    • @elenabuiles1370
      @elenabuiles1370 2 місяці тому +10

      You are so worthy.. “Narcs” they try to take away your self esteem. Make you believe you’re worthless, dumb etc, to gain control. I know exactly how you feel..
      I was married to a “narc” but we don’t know any better.
      I’m so glad you left..
      just keep telling yourself how amazing you are!! Start programming your “Mind set” you’re strong 💪 God bless you and stay positive and motivated..

    • @Techier868
      @Techier868 2 місяці тому +2

      🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

    • @Myamiler
      @Myamiler 2 місяці тому +3

      worshiped the ground u walked on for 3 years........RIGHT....

    • @patriciaalbertson5183
      @patriciaalbertson5183 2 місяці тому +3

      ​@@MyamilerExactly... "Love Bombing" First sign.... Too much, too fast, an act!

    • @SharonMalek
      @SharonMalek 2 місяці тому +4

      You got THAT right! None of God's children are worthless....never!

  • @judygustin8337
    @judygustin8337 Місяць тому +60

    Don’t take your hurt to your narcissist . Thank you . I really needed this .

  • @bbeckyy31
    @bbeckyy31 9 днів тому +5

    Married 34 years..im in shock right now..thank you ❤

  • @lukasjacobi627
    @lukasjacobi627 3 місяці тому +139

    AMEN. THEY HAVE SHOWN ME REPEATEDLY THEY DO NOT CARE. AMEN.

    • @anneyoung2310
      @anneyoung2310 3 місяці тому +3

      100's of times.

    • @lorihoop3831
      @lorihoop3831 3 місяці тому +4

      Yes, they have. I can take a hint and will not bother them again

  • @mariareis4621
    @mariareis4621 2 місяці тому +92

    I'm in tears after your prayer. The narcissist and eternal victim in my life is my mother. She's 89 years old and I've been her caregiver for the last 4 years (my 93 year old Dad passed away the end of July).
    I am so mentally, emotionally, and physically drained from my 'attempts' at making her realize or recognize her damage. My greatest pain was feeling she doesn't care.
    You have given me so much clarity in your video. Thank you!
    I can not abandon my own mother, but, with God's help, I will focus on my peace and let go. May almighty God help each and everyone struggling with this hurt and the many, many roller-coaster of emotions that, literally, sucks the air out of you.

    • @natashahall2134
      @natashahall2134 Місяць тому +3

      I'm praying for you and your mother ❤thank you and you're worthy and loved! Best of wishes to you and in the end God's will be done. Bless you ❤

    • @dritatahiri358
      @dritatahiri358 Місяць тому +6

      They are an emotional vampire

    • @judithnewell815
      @judithnewell815 Місяць тому +5

      You are a WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING, believe that and keep close to GOD.❤

    • @savannaalmaguer369
      @savannaalmaguer369 Місяць тому

      Omg this is spot on I am high empathy and feel when something is not right and I was right

    • @bunnycouture
      @bunnycouture Місяць тому

      Praying for yall🙏

  • @tanyaharkins5449
    @tanyaharkins5449 2 місяці тому +228

    Yes. A covert narcissist cult of two… God knows, and finally, so do I. Hardest truth I have ever faced in my 70 years. Watched my son stand over my grandsons, behind my back, unaware of my presence in the doorway, attack my character, accusing me of mental illness, of needing help, for my faith in God. I think narcissism is rooted in demonic spirits.

    • @allthings73hs1yf
      @allthings73hs1yf 2 місяці тому +25

      @@tanyaharkins5449 EXACTLY. We battle against principalitiesnot flesh and blood.

    • @deebee4622
      @deebee4622 2 місяці тому +23

      Absolutely spiritual warfare from Satan, however you will prevail because greater is He that is in you than he that’s in the world. Our God is an awesome God!

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 2 місяці тому

      @@tanyaharkins5449 Jezebel and Leviathan spirits working together. Highest ranking principalities. They come only to steal kill and destroy.
      GBY 🙏⚔️🙌

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 2 місяці тому +7

      @@deebee4622 AMEN 🙏

    • @melissagresham8763
      @melissagresham8763 2 місяці тому +6

      There's hope for me and my mom yet! I'm 47, she's 78.
      I got pocket calls from my ex . He was speaking with his previous ex-wife and heard lie after lie. Another time he called and I didn't answer. It was obvious call was unintentional. He was having a conversation with a woman about my many flaws, lack of intelligence, etc.

  • @rltreasure
    @rltreasure Місяць тому +22

    Anger, guilt, shame and then flat out hate filled madness.

    • @george-annwood7526
      @george-annwood7526 Місяць тому

      I will be still and know that God is the great IAM!!!! He is my Savior and He will fight my battles for me if I trust Him to be in control!

  • @laridion7901
    @laridion7901 3 місяці тому +200

    My favorite is, "That's not what I said," when it was very clearly something that was stated. 🙄😒

    • @melaniewilliamson318
      @melaniewilliamson318 3 місяці тому +14

      OR when they attribute words or meanings to you that you did not say or clearly did not mean,

    • @marquesmarques8611
      @marquesmarques8611 3 місяці тому +2

      @laridion7901 do you get I meant to say it this way too?

    • @-norsecode-
      @-norsecode- 3 місяці тому +12

      Along with, "It's all in your head."

    • @laurieduncan6096
      @laurieduncan6096 2 місяці тому +8

      Mine would say, “I’m sorry you perceived it that way”, whenever he would be hurtful. Like I was the problem. Then the flip side was , he is Mr. Sensitive and is hurt left and right, and YOU’RE the terrible person when he would twist my words.

    • @rossothecrimson7
      @rossothecrimson7 2 місяці тому +1

      @laridion7901 😅 Mine said that the first month of dating. He said something smart, thinking I didn't hear or see his mouth moving. That was almost 10 years ago. Why am I here still.

  • @lukasjacobi627
    @lukasjacobi627 3 місяці тому +174

    I totally changed discussion with prayer. It is 100% spiritual.

    • @diginandpitchin
      @diginandpitchin 3 місяці тому

      @@lukasjacobi627 🙏🏾

    • @Kat1791
      @Kat1791 3 місяці тому +43

      I agree! It is spiritual! and demonic. I don't think I'd still be alive if it wasn't for prayer.

    • @Amberwavesoftruth
      @Amberwavesoftruth 3 місяці тому +30

      @@lukasjacobi627 we not dealing with flesh and blood .💛🙏🏼💛

    • @lukasjacobi627
      @lukasjacobi627 3 місяці тому +12

      @@Amberwavesoftruth absolutely

    • @lukasjacobi627
      @lukasjacobi627 3 місяці тому +10

      @@Kat1791 Amen

  • @andreatocknell593
    @andreatocknell593 3 місяці тому +125

    Married to a covert narcissist for 25 years
    Dating a grandiose narcissist two and a half years. He’s even worse than my ex husband and just as abusive just not physically. Literally nothing left of me anymore
    About to leave at 54 and terrified this video has helped SOOOOO much. Thank you

    • @lorihoop3831
      @lorihoop3831 3 місяці тому +10

      I'm 54and same situation. There is victory in Jesus. He's got this and He's got us. I know you're tired like me. It is time to rest and restore, walking with Jesus the entire time.
      He will prepare a table for us amongst our enemies, and we will eat well and be merry.
      Thank you Jesus for helping us. I love you!🙏🙏🙏❤

    • @cheebasbass-ment9673
      @cheebasbass-ment9673 3 місяці тому +10

      Hang tough, you'll make it

    • @ruthvickrey4930
      @ruthvickrey4930 3 місяці тому +14

      Pray hard and get out!
      I had no idea about narcissism but I had a dream that woke me up to him discarding me like an old pair of boots! A year later I got out! Just b4 $1 mil life insurance policy was put on my life!

    • @paulstevenson789
      @paulstevenson789 3 місяці тому +12

      Don't worry, if you hang around long enough he will get physical!! Pray about it and Get Out while you can.

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 3 місяці тому

      @@andreatocknell593 that's where God does His best work! Only the Word can heal you from narcissist abuse.
      GBY 🙏⚔️🙌

  • @annenew8220
    @annenew8220 22 дні тому +7

    Spot on it ‼️ Finalized divorce, no longer dealing withvthe narc. Life is so peaceful🤗

  • @reneeantoniou9502
    @reneeantoniou9502 3 місяці тому +208

    Playing the victim. Telling others they’re the victim. Then say they’re going to pray about it.

    • @km_6181
      @km_6181 3 місяці тому +8

      And never pray about it

    • @annickmathe9463
      @annickmathe9463 3 місяці тому

      ​@@km_6181or pray fake prayers,.i.e. manipulating.and send curse with inappropriate out.of.context prayers and.verses

    • @brg2743
      @brg2743 3 місяці тому +11

      Or they are going to pray for you. Yeah right.

    • @DominieRobinson
      @DominieRobinson 3 місяці тому +4

      Yepp !

    • @CXtheproducer1
      @CXtheproducer1 3 місяці тому +4

      @@brg2743her favorite words

  • @ValerieAshen
    @ValerieAshen 3 місяці тому +93

    There is nothing equivalent to how much I feel grateful to you. I will be 78 on the 27th this month and I live alone estranged from my family but am content now, very happy it's all behind me now Thank The Lord. If only, if only, I had known what you've just taught me long ago 1964 when I was snared by a very devious family even though I knew the were a danger to me, I was tricked. I made the best of things up until my two children left home to start their own lives. Everthing you talked about was exactly howyou explained, even my own family believed the lies they were told, my own family!!! It is too late for me now, but I pass my time contentedly now. Thank You So Very Much. God Bless You. 36:14

    • @KarenMcbridek
      @KarenMcbridek 3 місяці тому +9

      @ValerieAshen Dear, it is never to late!!!

  • @lukasjacobi627
    @lukasjacobi627 3 місяці тому +149

    PRAYER IS THE ONE & ONLY THING TO DO.

    • @sandralogue1774
      @sandralogue1774 3 місяці тому +11

      Praying helps,but that alone won't save you.
      You need to act to save yourself,find a way out.
      You're fooling yourself if you think prayer will change the Narcissist,it will not,because they don't believe anything they are doing to you is wrong,they truly believe you deserve everything they do to you.
      There is a phrase God helps those who help themselves.
      By all means pray and have faith.
      I did,and it's the only thing that kept me alive until my Mo literally rescued me through my psychiatrist.

    • @lukasjacobi627
      @lukasjacobi627 3 місяці тому

      ​@sandralogue1774 ur experience

    • @rockyp32
      @rockyp32 3 місяці тому

      @@sandralogue1774 he means prayer to solve the issue. Not fix them

    • @lukasjacobi627
      @lukasjacobi627 21 день тому

      @@sandralogue1774 Wrong, as your words do not fit to the Word of God. But have fun trying. You will be fooling yourselve thinking you can free yourselve. You can't.

  • @LiveFreeOrD
    @LiveFreeOrD Місяць тому +5

    Just crossed 30 years of marriage with my narcissist wife. My divorce lawyer has been waiting for me to green light serving her for over 6 months, even though I clearly see that she is a high-ranking narcissist. I’ve been fighting to blame myself for many years, including the last few when she accused me of being one. Probably 100+ NPD videos with her average scores in the 98-110 percentile (yes, I score high in trauma bond)- I’m days away from pulling the trigger. Never imagined how complex it would feel given I’ve been the sole provider for her and two daughters (just finishing college) with my night job of pleaser, peace keeper, janitor… I’ve never watched your videos before, but I feel the new addiction coming, especially if I sit in my garage ruminating any longer (yes, still living under the same roof). Another 110% score - thanks for one of the best descriptions of my life as if you were in the car the entire ride. Wish me luck!

  • @Juamo-tn8we
    @Juamo-tn8we 3 місяці тому +260

    40 years of being married to a covert narcissist. Anniversary is literally one month away.
    I am done.
    I’m trauma bonded to a sick and twisted person with addictions to boot.
    My advice to everyone: get away from them- put physical distance between you and them.
    Limit or cut off communication.
    Gather a few people who you trust implicitly to be your support system and use them.
    Don’t wait 40 years to realize that you’re in an abusive relationship that isn’t going to change.

    • @DS-ge5ym
      @DS-ge5ym 3 місяці тому +14

      @@Juamo-tn8we I did 6 years w a covert & I am drained, you poor thing- prayers for you my friend

    • @denisevalley9021
      @denisevalley9021 3 місяці тому +15

      30 years for me with a covert narc!

    • @jkw5374
      @jkw5374 3 місяці тому +14

      I'd like to do that, but I am now 77 and so much of my life and family are set that I can't picture a good outcome.

    • @sergeantfury785
      @sergeantfury785 3 місяці тому +10

      I am 32 years in. I feel your pain.

    • @Juamo-tn8we
      @Juamo-tn8we 3 місяці тому

      @@jkw5374 I understand. I’m 62. I felt the same way but I’ve been in another state far away for 5 weeks now and have found my old self again and know if I go back I will die an early death - death by a thousand cuts.
      I have no idea how I’m going to support myself but I will figure it out.
      It has already changed the dynamic of our family but I still won’t and can’t go back and pretend. I was a zombie like shell of myself and my body and health has suffered so severely that I can’t choose that any more.

  • @thomasinagillum4527
    @thomasinagillum4527 Місяць тому +61

    A normal person goes into conflict resolution "in good faith" that you are going to work out your problems with them honorably. But the narc is going into conflict resolution thinking, " How can I get out of this situation without admitting any guilt and taking responsibility for my actions. This is a game and I have to win."

  • @JannietaHanekom
    @JannietaHanekom 2 місяці тому +47

    Your video was the most clearest explanation of a narssicist and how best to react to them, i've listened to

  • @Frodalee
    @Frodalee Місяць тому +30

    I dated that guy for about two months. Thank God I was already educated on this subject. I didn’t fall for it for a minute. In fact having this knowledge I was able to thwart his efforts at every turn. I broke it off. My lord, it was like the end of the world. The rage, the pleading, the self pity…wash, rinse, repeat! It didn’t work on me and that just made it worse, it was pathetic. Thank you for providing this information to others to spare them from the narcissist.

  • @whygohome172
    @whygohome172 2 місяці тому +43

    They are ALWAYS out for revenge.

  • @Moonstone2615
    @Moonstone2615 2 місяці тому +49

    22 years and still trapped in his clutches, but financially. I’ve watched a lot of people talk on this but you really touched my soul. Like it was my friend talking to me. Brought out lots of locked up pain and floods of tears. They’re soul less with a heart of coal.

    • @willystanford
      @willystanford Місяць тому

      Take heart. Similar situation of being financially constrained for the interim...found it changed a lot of things for me when I mentally/emotionally left the relationship and decided, as we are no longer a couple but by necessity just housemates, what my boundaries needed to be to continue sharing the house and what my attitudes would be about everything from civility to chores to cash to chatting. Husband has realised I have shut him out and he can't reach me to hurt me as I do not care anymore so has been busily hoovering for months now. It is interspersed with angry accusations, playing the victim, employing my family and others as flying monkeys etc. I have seen all the tactics many times over the past decades and so am immune to it all. My standard response to him when he tries to engender a dramatic argument or issue an ultimatum etc is 'sign the divorce papers'. He immediately becomes quiet and starts playing the hurt victim then after a day or so goes back to hoovering. Meantime hubby has already been on dating sites etc for years. He has also been lovebombing a friend's wife while he was in hospital for some months over the past couple of years until her hubby returned home and she lost interest. I would welcome him moving on to his next victim, although I would feel duty bound to warn her.

    • @rubyshoes1032
      @rubyshoes1032 Місяць тому

      You have to set yourself free, believe you are worth more, and your own lack of respect for yourself is keeping you there. Please find support and make your moves to remove yourself from the dynamic. I left with nothing. My home, my business, my pets, my personal items. I left it all, got in my car with my wallet. Sunglasses and the clothes I was wearing and left. Slept in my car and at friends until I get on my feet. It's worth it, my life now is amazing and I wouldn't change it. I believe in you. 🙏🏻

  • @sandralogue1774
    @sandralogue1774 3 місяці тому +192

    Denial of Affection is a very popular weapon used by Narcissists.
    With a Malignant it becomes a way of life.
    There is NOTHING you can do to change this,they will devalue you quicker than the value drop of driving a new car off a car lot.
    I was with a malevolent Narcissist for 18 years,I came out with complex PTSD,and Emotionally Unstable Personality disorder.
    Regardless of the subtype,once the discard phase starts,there is no mercy and no turning back,it will not get better.
    If you leave,cut them off,no contact period,any contact will be taken by the Narcissist the possibility of getting you back.
    They will say and promise anything to get you back,and then if you go back,it will be much worse.
    The thing that gets me through is remembering the relationship was built on a lie,nothing was true or real...
    Remember above all else, YOU are a child of GOD.

    • @metanoia5671
      @metanoia5671 3 місяці тому +15

      My husband denies me affection. It’s his favorite tool for abuse

    • @lisehrby2565
      @lisehrby2565 3 місяці тому +14

      Sounds extremely hard to endure this for 18 yrs. So sorry for you 😢. I only endured 4 yrs. I remember myself too, that all was a lie and of cause i was not in peace or happy, because i was not safe. Still healing from the gaslight. My trust in men is unfortunatly gone. I want to shout to the world Who he really is...but i know it not my job. I give it up to God

    • @lisehrby2565
      @lisehrby2565 3 місяці тому +7

      ​@@metanoia5671 so sorry you are going through this. The fact you're listening to this, is sign, that you are aware. I was not. He also withheld affection. Get out while you're still sane ❤

    • @sandralogue1774
      @sandralogue1774 3 місяці тому

      ​@@lisehrby2565 It took me a long time to become aware,a lot of reading and research and soul searching.
      And yeah,18 years was a long time,trauma bonding and isolation can paralyze you.
      I was fortunate that I had a therapist who could recognize the PTSD and trauma bonding.
      I'm a veteran,and was fortunate to see a therapist who was versed in PTSD,and Trauma bonding.
      If it weren't for my faith in God and the diligence of my therapist I wouldn't be here now.
      Part of the emotional instability is suicidal ideation.
      I attempted four times to make the anguish stop.
      I was in so much pain emotionally,and in such a mindset that I felt the world would be a better place with me gone.
      After the last time,I came home and sobbed for hours.
      I finally asked God to take it,and he did.
      For me there is absolutely no doubt we have a loving God and he asks so little of us.
      I consider myself a small miracle,and give our Lord thanks each day,even if things aren't going well,because they could be so much worse.

    • @belindaturner3899
      @belindaturner3899 3 місяці тому +6

      It is very hard to live with somebody who shows no affection No Love No kindness don't know the truth about that until you're already involved in it my husband is a narcissistic man denies affection he denies me a normal life oh my gosh it is worse I wanted divorce but he tells me he will tear the house apart everything is mine I have been taking care of him for 15 years he's a Latino with no papers I don't know what I've done to myself but I hate it I hate this life

  • @ranjinirajendram3435
    @ranjinirajendram3435 Місяць тому +2

    Thank you. Every word is absolutely true. Childish idiots

  • @KMG829
    @KMG829 3 місяці тому +75

    42 years then discarded cause I couldn't go along anymore even though I tried. I stayed too long to my detriment. I now see the reality of my life. While in a toxic relationship, you don't see the extent of what is going on. On the other side it is devastating when you start peeling back layers of your life. I have a hope and a future.....

    • @lisa.s.headley7
      @lisa.s.headley7 3 місяці тому +10

      ❤ You do have a hope and a future. Amen.

    • @janinesmith369
      @janinesmith369 3 місяці тому +4

      Know what you mean, my face only after four years is on the ground everyday. I just cannot wait until I save the money to leave my narc and not continue to deal with the unhappy everyday with him. There’s definitely better on the other side of this 💯

    • @missvegan1967
      @missvegan1967 3 місяці тому

      Are you still married.?

    • @lorihoop3831
      @lorihoop3831 3 місяці тому +1

      @lisa.s.headley7 yes! "For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to prosper you and NOT to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
      Jeremiah 29:11

  • @SusanB44
    @SusanB44 3 місяці тому +105

    So you're saying... Satan is the ultimate narcissist. I can apply this wisdom to the enemy.... When he can no longer control you with fear or unforgiveness, he pushes all those other buttons, lies and strongholds. Really great stuff and wisdom for such manipulative people. Thanks for taking on this complicated (in every facet of the word) topic!

  • @sheilagibson510
    @sheilagibson510 3 місяці тому +262

    Oh dear God! Do not go to counseling with the narcissist!!! Talk about giving them all the ammunition they need! One of the worst things I've done.

    • @CXtheproducer1
      @CXtheproducer1 3 місяці тому

      @@sheilagibson510 My covert Narc ex girlfriend manipulated her therapist

    • @ruthvickrey4930
      @ruthvickrey4930 3 місяці тому +16

      I wish I knew that 20 years ago that I was marrying one. Counseling did nothing except allowed him space to scream at me.

    • @healthsy485
      @healthsy485 3 місяці тому +5

      Your description of the nar is amazingly true.
      In my case, my husband can be very kind and generous if I dont confront him.
      Should I ignore his behavior now that I understand he's a sick person who deserves pity n not punishment

    • @kacheenasvariety9414
      @kacheenasvariety9414 2 місяці тому +5

      I did this a few times. My mom went to the "your my first born" excuse for being controlling "protective" it was a stressful session and she smear campaigns me and assume when I go on vacation I'm meeting men. Then it amps up to "you always do this!" Do what? Live my life away from you? 😑

    • @lifeisgood7740
      @lifeisgood7740 2 місяці тому +15

      Well, before I knew I was dealing with a BPD/NPD husband, we went to therapy. The doctor said that he wanted to see us separately next time. He wanted me first. I walked in and he handed me a copy of the book, I Hate You, Don't Leave Me." So, in this instance, therapy was an awakening. God, give me the strength to leave this man.

  • @Memoreism
    @Memoreism 17 днів тому +7

    I really needed to hear your words concerning this. I recently came out to my parents this year, and my dad's first reaction is to ban my partner from all family gatherings. So no more Thanksgiving, christmas, easter, mothers day, anything. So my response is that if he cant come with me, then i really dont feel comfortable coming either. but i know when im not there, my mom will talk to people and tell them how im just this horrible person for being gay (they are very religious) and paint themselves as the victims for me not coming alone. Its all about them and their image, has nothing to do with my feelings or my life. They've been wanting to control me for years. Thank you so much for your advice in this video.

  • @ChildoftheLIGHT
    @ChildoftheLIGHT 3 місяці тому +56

    playing victim is the go-to...totally agree, Kris!

  • @ChrisKRay
    @ChrisKRay 3 місяці тому +37

    I’m hurting so much after being punished for taking a stand for Truth, but this helped me realize others have been attacked the same way; and have overcome it through His grace.

  • @janeenwatson427
    @janeenwatson427 3 місяці тому +50

    Do not take your hurt to the narcissist! Amen! 🙏❤️💯 👍 Q & A! Moving right along! 🙌

  • @loiswall5601
    @loiswall5601 Місяць тому +1

    I have faith and hope still in my heart

  • @BlessedWomanVee
    @BlessedWomanVee 3 місяці тому +25

    Wow I never realized they don’t have their own identity but it makes so much sense.They copy everything about you. Will go out and buy the exact same outfit. Repeat your ideas/thoughts back to you as if the idea/thought didn’t originate with you in the first place…sir/ma’am, I told you the very thing you are now telling me last week. I don’t hate them but I can’t stand to be around them. Everything seems contrived. I’m so happy the Lord freed me from that situation. 🙏🏾❤️

    • @dreamyclouds5583
      @dreamyclouds5583 Місяць тому +1

      Now that we are over, I'm convinced that my ex is going to take on my personality, or try to. So gross

  • @heatherl.3919
    @heatherl.3919 3 місяці тому +196

    "I miss you"..."is there any way we could get back together?"...I said NO!

    • @TS-ns6zm
      @TS-ns6zm 3 місяці тому +12

      @@heatherl.3919 yup, that's what was said to me. Now I know it was love bombing

    • @NoGMOGod
      @NoGMOGod 3 місяці тому +9

      Lol! I know its not funny....but I loved your comment. We all have our limit on bull pucky. Humor is one of the things That has saved me.❤

    • @NoGMOGod
      @NoGMOGod 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@TS-ns6zmThank you!!! YES that is what she does,!!!

    • @CoCreatewithMe2
      @CoCreatewithMe2 3 місяці тому +12

      If he finds a PTSD therapist would I see him for an hour a week while he gets treatment. There is no rehab for narcissists. We are their drug

    • @KabirSingh-dy5hf
      @KabirSingh-dy5hf 3 місяці тому +2

      ​@@CoCreatewithMe2 well said 👍

  •  3 місяці тому +60

    Called out a Narc boss, RAGE, gaslighting, Held MY Ground.
    Uncomfortable, but I see how he operates. Looking to bail.

    • @kristahackleylmt2064
      @kristahackleylmt2064 Місяць тому +2

      Stood up to my boss.. got fired for telling him he's mean. 😂 They are big babies.

  • @oliviaNgZY
    @oliviaNgZY 26 днів тому +6

    First playing victim, then threats, planned things not going as it is, calling you crazy, dismissed your feelings…

  • @jaimegoodwyn4736
    @jaimegoodwyn4736 2 місяці тому +22

    I have never felt so understood. Thank you for validating what I am going through 🙌🏾🙏🏾❤️.

  • @Noshitsherlock67
    @Noshitsherlock67 3 місяці тому +22

    Every single thing youve said is true. Ive been there, suffered that and unfortunately bought the t-shirt. That being said, I eventually gathered my strength and after 18 years of misery, I kicked him to the kerb and have spent the last 27 years single but with peace of mind. His loss. He had a good woman but threw it all away.

  • @mariaallgood1420
    @mariaallgood1420 3 місяці тому +41

    Yes I'm dealing with a passive aggressive covert narcissist-with addiction issues! High School sweetheart-39 years of marriage-tried to divorce 2 twice-praying this 3rd time will stick. I finally understand the evil I'm dealing with. He uses my Christian faith to manipulate me-to top it off-he calls me the narcissist-the ultimate gaslight! I cling to Christ-my only hope❤

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 3 місяці тому +7

      The enemy INVERTS everything

    • @rosanocetti1916
      @rosanocetti1916 3 місяці тому

      They twist everything I’m going violent has began hitting me

  • @Ethel-AnneGundy
    @Ethel-AnneGundy Місяць тому +1

    Thank you very much. I finally know the truth. A cloud has lifted from me. Should I feel sorry for them?

  • @BLorenzoNutting
    @BLorenzoNutting Місяць тому +15

    Thank you Kris. I am 71 years old and I finally know what to call what my life has been like. Praise God He gave me so much dealing with things, which has only come from His Word.

  • @lizetbosch754
    @lizetbosch754 3 місяці тому +71

    Once you understand the evil in yourself you realize that the narcissistic is ONLY EVIL!!! There is no getting around it. Call evil what it is and stop making excuses for it. God have mercy on us. Thank you Lord 🙏🏻

    • @lizetbosch754
      @lizetbosch754 3 місяці тому +6

      O ja, Narcs don’t want love but worship !!!

    • @324cmac
      @324cmac 3 місяці тому +9

      One Narcissist can damage so many people. It's so sad.

    • @lorihoop3831
      @lorihoop3831 3 місяці тому +8

      One narc can destroy an entire family. I've seen it, it's pure evil

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 2 місяці тому

      @@lorihoop3831 I've not seen one that hasn't! They just don't always see who's doing IT as they keep everyone fighting each other while they're trying to " help"
      Okayyy Satan 🙄

    • @evalee7768
      @evalee7768 2 місяці тому

      Dang!! So many God praying here must be really bad

  • @jaysloan9032
    @jaysloan9032 2 місяці тому +9

    You know the truth , God knows the truth , nothing or no one else matter. ❤

    • @jaysloan9032
      @jaysloan9032 2 місяці тому

      Make your own friends ,make your own family ❤

  • @triciaoconnor5150
    @triciaoconnor5150 Місяць тому +1

    Amen, OMG…I needed to hear about how they will still your personality traits. I was in a long-term friendship, and this person has become me, and I feel like I was robbed, but then I see her with her new supply at work and she has controlled that relationship and she still acting like my personal traits. I did feel I had to fight back and explain myself to other people because I felt that she was manipulating and sucking the air out of the room. She even has turned my son against me. She’s also turned other friends against me and smeared my name at work. I was also her boss. I wish I would’ve figured it out that I should’ve not have fought and I shouldn’t have had to feel like defended myself. I just felt so robbed and still do feel robbed. I had to walk away and it’s my fault. She really believes that me being the boss ruined our friendship no, I just started seeing her for who she really has been. Now that I have been working on me and God put just sermon in my heart a few years ago when welived together. That’s a long story lol. .

  • @Kat1791
    @Kat1791 3 місяці тому +35

    Thank you, Kris for the survival guide. I'm the sole caretaker of my elderly narc mom, and I'm certainly in the lion's den. It's rough. She's insane and severely out to punish me for whatever she thinks I've done, or for breathing, or whatever. Lot's of love going your way.

    • @brg2743
      @brg2743 3 місяці тому +5

      Hopefully you can sit on porch away from here as much as possible.

    • @ArtNLuv444
      @ArtNLuv444 2 місяці тому

      Leave her to her own wicked devices. You don't owe her a single thing when she's trying to destroy you. She went insane as karma for the harm she does to others. You can literally walk out the door and never look back. Again, you owe her no loyalty despite what she has trained you to believe.
      When we stay with them, we receive their karma right alongside them. Do you deserve that? NO!

    • @KatherineHogue
      @KatherineHogue 2 місяці тому

      Been there and been through it. My female DNA donor was a N. Asked for help at 15 and left home begging to be institutionalized to get help to cope. Kept the witch at arms’ length. When the step dad passed the female DNA donor tried to commit suicide. She wasn’t able to take care of her finances so I stepped up after both uncles refused to have anything to do with her. She wanted to stay in a nursing home thinking she was going to be treated like a queen. I told her I’d take care of her in her own home because she’d wind up lying in her own s - - t. She wouldn’t listen and went into the nursing home and died there. Glad she’s gone. I didn’t cry a tear.

  • @Gemmarose9012
    @Gemmarose9012 2 місяці тому +10

    Yes my parent is passive aggressive, but I stopped playing their game and have extremely limited contact. They’ve shown me who they are. Thank you for your content, it validates that I’m doing the right thing.

  • @Sarahyoutubeaddict
    @Sarahyoutubeaddict 2 місяці тому +16

    No insight into their own behaviour, no comprehension of how they're really affecting others

  • @Flinshot1
    @Flinshot1 18 днів тому +1

    🎉Agreed.Amen😢 destroying is their end game.

  • @laura-2
    @laura-2 Місяць тому +114

    For me, the covert narcissist comes across as a people pleaser. They like to be in the spotlight to get the validation that they crave for, as other narcissists but at the same time, they pretend to be humble, simple, generous, over giving. The covert narcissist will take time to build a relationship/friendship with you. During this period, they will show their admiration and their devotion by helping you with everything that is you need. They will try to convince you that you are soulmates and that they understand you deeply. At the same time, you will see them being overly altruistic, maybe helping society by engaging in charities, activism. They feed the poor, take care of the homeless. All this makes you think how lucky you are for having met such a beautiful soul. You want to be by their side for ever.
    However, soon you notice how much they enjoy being invited in galas to talk about their achievements. But they don’t admit that. They still play the humble guy who doesn’t want all this. Who is beyond money, beyond fame and recognition, who wants to share the floor with other people. But their acts don’t match their words. You come to realise that this selfless soul is actually doing whatever it takes to be in the centre of attention. When you do something together be it at work or at home, they want to control everything about it. They just exerce their control in a more polite and implicit way, making you believe that your voice was heard whereas in reality you did what they wanted you to do. Covert narcissists have a smooth way of leading you on. They don’t shout, they don’t give orders. They are master actors. They convince you that you are together in this. What makes them a narcissist is that when the time comes for them to use you in order to draw certain benefits, they will do it without a second thought and you are not going to believe in your eyes.
    And when you stand up for yourself and raise your voice against them calling them for their phony identity, then you will see their rage for the first time and the mask will fall. Covert narcissists manipulate less with rage/exhibiting superiority and more with people pleasing behaviour/playing the eternal victim. They are not aggressive as overt narcissists. They are more cunning. What they both have in common is self-centered ness and lack of empathy. In the case of coverts, it will take you longer to find out.They knew what they wanted to get out of you from the beginning. They created a whole theatre play to fool you about who they are and their true motives. You will trust them with all your heart but when the time comes for them to prove their loyalty by choosing your bond over their personal gain, they will choose the latter with no remorse, without even taking any responsibility. Unlike the overt narcissist, they will have an eloquent excuse for doing so, rationalizing why they had to f@ck you over. They will pretend to be sorry about it because this is something that matches the image of modesty that they want to project but in reality they are not sorry at all. You will see them partying with your own money when they said they didn’t have enough to pay you back. You will see them being unfair and untrustworthy to other people as well. When the mask of the victim will fall, you will see the cruel smile of a perpetrator who managed to get what they want without deserving it. If you decide to unmask them run for your life.
    Moreover, Catching a cheating spouse might be difficult, and knowing what local laws say you can and cannot do might be even more difficult. To simplify the process, consider hiring a private investigator to do the sleuthing for you I genuinely appreciate how incredible you are and your work! Thank you for a job well done MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com.

    • @ballen8905
      @ballen8905 Місяць тому

      @@laura-2 you may suffer from mental illness based upon the length of this comment.

    • @kym393
      @kym393 Місяць тому +2

      @@ballen8905 it's not long.. You need glasses and you don't read fast enough.
      (My take on a narcissistic answer)

    • @QuantumAscensionAlchemist
      @QuantumAscensionAlchemist Місяць тому +2

      You described a functional Sociopath.

    • @ginger.that.
      @ginger.that. Місяць тому +1

      Described my situation perfectly…I don’t even know what to do next.😭

    • @patriciapaterna4564
      @patriciapaterna4564 Місяць тому +4

      Son uses excuse that wife will divorce him if he comes back. Also block grand children from your life.

  • @Sarahyoutubeaddict
    @Sarahyoutubeaddict 2 місяці тому +8

    Pray for peace
    Don't try and make sense where there is no sense, don't engage

  • @AlizaXYZ
    @AlizaXYZ 3 місяці тому +26

    Today, I discovered this channel by chance. I heard so much about narcissist behavior, but I learned the prayer in one of your shorts. I completely wrote word to word in my new notebook. I never thought about that angle of prayer. Thank you 😊 God bless you 💖

  • @PaulFortner-d7j
    @PaulFortner-d7j Місяць тому +9

    I am actually shocked at the reality you are sharing..its exactly what i endured for over 9 years..i feel a freedom in the explaining of what so few ever say . thank you.

  • @aprilboykin4607
    @aprilboykin4607 3 місяці тому +25

    Yep- when we bring what hurts us to them they use it even more to hurt us more. Such a sick game they play.

    • @324cmac
      @324cmac 3 місяці тому +2

      It gives them power.

  • @angelacash-hoyt1460
    @angelacash-hoyt1460 2 місяці тому +11

    This is my first time watching this video, and EVERYTHING you stated about a Narcissist was as if you were speaking directly to me! My ex-husband is the King of Narcissism, even to this day, and we’ve been divorced for almost six years. Looking forward to watching more of your videos! I pray daily for strength to not get sucked back in with his Narcissistic tactics.🙏🏾

  • @terrywong3223
    @terrywong3223 3 місяці тому +11

    Your insight into narcissism is so inspiring !
    I am a 77 yr old retiree. Throughout my life, I have encountered narcissists in the class, in the work field and recently in the church. Having viewing U-tube videos on narcissism, I have learned much, albeit late in the game. It is such a breath of fresh air to have a taste of Inner Peace. I will certainly continue to watch your videos. All right, Kris Reece .. you are an Angel .. aren't you ?!!! Thank you so much !

    • @ValerieAshen
      @ValerieAshen 3 місяці тому

      Snap. God is Awesome. X

    • @TheEmpressTish
      @TheEmpressTish День тому

      Learning anything is never too late, we all learn lessons at our own divine pace. You are now aware and have broken all narcissistic curses because u can spot them a mile away! 😊 Divine timing is NEVER too late! Congratulations 🎉🎉

  • @stephaniemariemcdonald9096
    @stephaniemariemcdonald9096 23 дні тому +1

    I am going to learn all I need to , kids need my help, including school kids ,that were not treated fair by my mother ❤

  • @ChristopherZain
    @ChristopherZain 2 місяці тому +11

    "Do not take your hurts to the narcissist." I wish I new that 20 years ago...glad I know that now. :)

  • @DebraHernandez-le7sj
    @DebraHernandez-le7sj 3 місяці тому +14

    Cover Me with Your Precious Blood 🙏 amen

  • @pauldaily6224
    @pauldaily6224 2 місяці тому +10

    Every time I listen to you it's like you were there. Listening and watching everything she said and did to me.

  • @pamelamacaluso5302
    @pamelamacaluso5302 17 днів тому +1

    Serenity prayer, looking to God to walk boldly. Co-dependent trauma bonding has left me looking up for His wide wings so I am protected in the wings down

  • @KathyRobnson-yb3ev
    @KathyRobnson-yb3ev 2 місяці тому +15

    Being in this caused my heart attack. So evil. Thank you for helping others to be free.

  • @michaelmartin9335
    @michaelmartin9335 2 місяці тому +10

    I can’t begin to tell you how much you have helped me with this relationship that I am in for the past 8 months. I can definitely see the manipulation that is being played on me right from the beginning. It was so difficult for me to realize what was going on because it starts out small and builds slowly. But after 8 months it is really coming on hard and fast. So now it is time to end it. I can’t believe I was so stumped to fall for this. Your totally correct no empathy and no love no willing to repent or to forgive and can outright deny any wrong doing.

  • @lisamarieclark6778
    @lisamarieclark6778 2 місяці тому +18

    I was raised to respect myself and the male ego. My sister told me how very fragile and unique the masculine energy's. I fell in love so hard it took our own children years later to open my eyes.
    You have no power over me anymore. I said you have no power over me. Those words are so powerful. Rabbit trails and red flags oh my...I lived threw the fire and ice.

  • @dwaynemorton2539
    @dwaynemorton2539 13 днів тому +2

    I LOVE your Christ-centered approach and solutions. This is what I've been searching for.

  • @virginiarowe4204
    @virginiarowe4204 3 місяці тому +9

    Yes, I'm dealing with a passive aggressive vulnerable narcissist ex husband. I asked God for help and the next day, my Ex told me he was moving out with his girlfriend. I tried to keep the marriage going for 39 years. After asking God for help, everything fell into place. Thank you for your channel, I have peace now after the divorce but still trying to be a good parent to my grown children. Thank you God for all that you have done for me. Kris, you are amazing thank you for all your wise words.

  • @magi22091972
    @magi22091972 3 місяці тому +63

    Yes, that's my husband polite for others and abusive for me. Always blame me gasslighting, smearing, and punishing by silence treatment .7 months like that, and as you say, getting more intense and awful

    • @mightyobserver12
      @mightyobserver12 3 місяці тому +2

      Get out

    • @robertstrayhall7386
      @robertstrayhall7386 3 місяці тому +3

      Get out of that it will get worse got that for 17 years I almost lost my mind thank the lord he made me mentally tough and they will blame yep they'll accuse u that your the narc yes they Will okay leave if u can god bless

    • @sandrathomas2893
      @sandrathomas2893 3 місяці тому +2

      Street angel 😇
      House devil 👿
      It only gets worse unfortunately.

    • @simplymeeh2509
      @simplymeeh2509 3 місяці тому +1

      Same my spouse d same always nicely to others😏

  • @heatherperez2137
    @heatherperez2137 3 місяці тому +15

    Thank you for your heartfelt prayer and ministry 🙏🏾

  • @HeatherHorton-f7u
    @HeatherHorton-f7u 21 день тому +2

    thank you so much, I have never heard the information you give about narcissisim so clearly, biblically , with such practical application! SO helpful! I have shared this with many!

  • @NancyMann-e9z
    @NancyMann-e9z Місяць тому +5

    I'm so glad I found your video. There are a lot of videos out there, but yours is the only one that I have seen that is faith based and Biblical. I have been divorced from my narcissist ex husband for a year. He was recently convicted of felony stalking of me, and is on 10 years probation but continues to stalk. I covet your prayers for protection and that the Lord will bring my situation to an end. Thank you for all you do! ❤

  • @DominieRobinson
    @DominieRobinson 3 місяці тому +103

    I just saw a documentary about a young woman stranded with no gas and dead cell phone offered a ride by a trucker who held a gun on her threatening to rape her she fought for her life , got out of the truck ran for help and someone stopped to help her offering their phone, there she was on the highway, missing one shoe from her desperate flight, blood running down her face, an ambulance came for her and Law enforcement caught up to the trucker, in an interview with the detective, the trucker claimed she was "trying to rob him" and painted himself as "the victim" authorities later found the bloody clothes of other women, weapons, firearms, bloody rope, handcuffs, hunting knives, a taser, and and entire ledger full of the names and locations of other women and children in several different states. It was absolutely chilling , but in the interview with the Detective, he went to Great lengths to convince the Detective that " he was just trying to help somebody out, and he was the victim ..."

    • @deborahgloria3867
      @deborahgloria3867 2 місяці тому +6

      Evil mind ungodly

    • @3imaginaryboys1972
      @3imaginaryboys1972 2 місяці тому +16

      That's a psychopath not a narcasist

    • @posyplanter
      @posyplanter 2 місяці тому

      Unbelievable

    • @lylux4985
      @lylux4985 2 місяці тому +9

      @@3imaginaryboys1972 A Psychopath can also be a Narcissist. It will be part of their cluster.

    • @jjlove13only1
      @jjlove13only1 2 місяці тому

      ​@@3imaginaryboys1972 Narcissists are definitely Psychopaths/Sociopaths.

  • @AprilMears-j7q
    @AprilMears-j7q 2 місяці тому +5

    You've helped me MORE THAN ANYONE ever has on UA-cam or anywhere for that matter. Every single thing you said above narcissistic abuse was so spot on. I feel like I'm "home" here with you! ❤

  • @crystalkellim9987
    @crystalkellim9987 25 днів тому +2

    He said that exactly that it was all me doing this

  • @tanyaharkins5449
    @tanyaharkins5449 2 місяці тому +7

    My heart breaks. Thank you for this guide.

  • @cynthialucasmoore6106
    @cynthialucasmoore6106 3 місяці тому +16

    This is my first time here,,,,in a live discussion. I love you Kris💕 I'm learning so much,,from you and everyone who posts of their experiences

  • @KAC-uj7lk
    @KAC-uj7lk 2 місяці тому +7

    I detest arrogance and the proverb you shared was foundational! One purpose I seem to have in this life is to be regularly in the company of haughty persons. It was not until a few years ago that I began recognizing that this proud behavior had a "name-" narcissism. I have been trying to learn more about the spectrum of behaviors and how this behavior positions with respect to sociopathy and psychopathy. I am new in this journey of discovery and as so many other comments attest, this is one of the most accessible tutorials and most loving approaches online. Thank you for your time and expertise. May God bless you in your ministry. All things are possible with Him who loves and gifts us beyond our imagination. And may God heal the hearts and lives of those who have been scathed. And may God bring something positive from your presence and your absence from these broken souls.