@@lemaxx2638it’s easy to wonder that why are these people still with abusers? But real life is so complicated and every scenario is different maybe they have no family support, are trauma bonded, or are biding their time.
@@cleocatra9324 I understand. I used to be trauma bonded but when I understand that I was dealing with the devil, I start my healing journey far away from this individual. But when you know, there is really no excuses to stay.
1. Financially, partnership. My boss , the narc, is a financial advisor (aka crook)! 2. Believe opposite of what they say . (LIARS) 3. DO NOT go to therapy with them. It won't change them 4. Do not believe their hopeless hope of change. 5. Do not believe the nasty names they call you. 6. Do not give them access to your personal life. (My boss, Narc, wanted me available evenings and weekends! I said no. He fired me!) 7. Sunk cost. ( It has only been 5 days since I was fired and already my health is improved. I am happier and more at peace.I am sleeping better! worth it . I will find another job.)
I work part time in a small office of four staff. The support worker works 7 days per week with an occasional day off. She is a covert narc. The other one is bipolar and the third is covert narc with schizoid traits. My nerves are shaken. I have to get out of there even though I enjoy the job duties. Traps and set ups everywhere.
@@kerrytaggart8206 Yes, get out, don't tell anything to anybody, make sure new job has no way to talk to them: they like to sabotage and ruin your mental health and reputation until the end. I am finding Dan OConnor YT channel very helpful.
Are we the same cause my boss was also a narc. When I refused to be used without compensation he got angry. I feel lighter. Work environment became creepy real quick.
The monster way back went for therapy on his own. Of course, and the psychologist asked him to leave the room halfway during their session, and the reason was his incurable, psychologist also said after I'm done with you, I will be needing a psychiatrist.! And guess what? The idiot thought it was hilarious.
They will look a gift horse in the mouth.They will take kindness as weakness.When you show them generosity they will want more whilst shamelessly never returning the favour.
In my case I could never enjoy to the fullest with my wife.. lot of mood swings.. sometimes jumpy sometimes low.. upset with the pics I take.. pics are important than enjoying the time n nature.. cant explain but it's heavy feeling..
Oh yeh, some of the most horrible things he told me and the worst times he yelled at me where on vacation. Didn't have a good time like I was supposed to, it was quite the opposite.
Every single summer we went to his condo at the sea he would tell me that he will send me back. Like I am a child. Because I wasn't following his rules. He would start in the late spring, saying :"this year you are not going with us to vacation..." What a horrible human being does something like that to his wife of 18 years? Thank God, that He has freed me from this torture.
His own sister used to say, "Don't even think the worst might happen or he will make it happen!" I learned over time not to comment to him if I had concern over something.
Always expect the worst from a narcissist. Never believe a word they say but pay attention to what they do. They hate being exposed because it reveals how horrible they really are and don't want people to know. Keep away from them. Spot on video, Danish! 🎯
@@Cornusnuttallii well I haven't seen ALL his videos yet but his content is spot on considering the fact that he's a narcissistic abuse survivor and a professional himself. Thanks for concerning. Cheers 👍🏻
A narcissist thinks: Their money is their money, My money is their money, My family's money is their money, and The entire world's money is their money.
Right!! What’s up with them and money? I’m so tired of it all coming down to that. I’m slowly detaching from my family and I can see that all I’ve ever been to them is an ATM. The guilt is tremendous, though.
My ex narc hated me and barely have me enough money for gas groceries. If he he thought or I was having any fun or joy he resented it because he didn’t want to pay for it. I other words he was so hateful resentful of me not working snd if he thought I was having any joy or fun he would ruin it.
That's exactly what I just confronted my NH, about. He told me my money was his, I told him no! I bought a Firebox for my money, he got into my purse, and broke the one key and bent the other!, and I did confront him! I'm saving my money to get out, and I have my escape plan in place, in case he gets violent. He had triple by pass, colon cancer, prostrate cancer, 5 hours of gallbladder surgery, months of chemo, months of radiation. I told him I want a dissolution, he told me, ypu ain't staying here!! He has never loved me, and all this was proven that day I confronted him. It was worth it. Cuz he's a lonely old man now,and I don't care anymore.... phoohey on him.
True. My mother couldn't wait for her oldest sisters to pass. She told me she will go through their belongings and grab all their money and expensive items.Karma arrived: mother died first!
My narcissistic husband just spent almost all my inheritance on a new pickup truck and fishing boat for himself. Joint bank accounts are not a good idea with a narcissist!!!
I've been with my partner for 20 years and we have separate bank accounts - and that's the way I like it. I'm sorry that your husband felt so entitled to spend YOUR money on whatever he wanted for himself. How incredibly selfish of him!
I got a small inheritance from my father ,I had it in a bank account my brothers girlfriend gave me the best advice .Put it in superannuation so your ex wife can’t touch it .Best advice I received,I never got to thank her ,she died a few years later .
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
From one vet to another that was Very well said. I can relate to a lot that you've said. Thanks for taking the time to write that. However your last info abt the cyber person through me off bc so many of these are fake and set ups.
Thank you. well said. the last Cyber bit . Be careful of Frauds etc. Do it if you Savvy in that Area. it can lead to S'thing Ag. you. Eg. Stalking . etc.
So dying my hair, soing self care for myself, saying no to sex when i don't wanna have it and wearing makeup is a sign that i am a narcissist? What are you apostolic?
@@Yeehaw0588 I'm the only one dumb enough to respond to your absolute crazy comment. This video, and others like it, is way over your ability to grasp.
Loaned small amount to narc, he made one payment and threw a tantrum screaming yelling he didn't want to pay me back....Keep shinning the Light Bright Danish😊👍👍👍👍❤❤❤❤❤....this was a 52yr old man....
Mine took an entire year to give me my money back. Towards the end of the year, I told him it's time to give my money back. He has a good career but resented giving me my money back. These people have no morals and no integrity! 😮
I rebuke we all have our ways, but I believe these boneheads are demonic in nature. They can only hurt us because we love so deep. Anyone else would get smart and kick them to the curb. I have no where to go, little money to get there, and old enough where I'm not employable anymore. So I have to fight until I can leave. Hope your situation is better and continues to improve each day - - - YOU CAN DO IT!!!
My narcissist ex and I had 5 years of relationship therapy, which didn't help at all . He said : “ I thought the therapy was only just for you “ 😢 It was a torture chamber indeed …. Don’t ever go in there !!
Reminds me of this guy who went to a therapist and allegedly manipulated her to " diagnose" his problem for issues ( suspected marital abuse ) with the least "damaging" diagnosis he said. Situational depression?? lol There was nothing situational about it but his way of getting out of responsibility. Meanwhile, still a victim. They know all the angles and are very manipulative until competent and intelligent people catch on. Sadly, some never do. Thank you and love your informative channel. You are helping many people. 🙏
This is spot on and so helpful. Narcissists are so obsessed with money that they can't wait to get their hands on other people's by all means, they are not to be trusted at all, they are liars, traitors and thieves. Never show any weakness to them and avoid any exposure revealing information about yourself because they are hungry for anything to use it against you. Keep strong and safe. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻💜
So convincing. Oh my God. The things they say that you didn't do and you know you didn't do it. And they make you crazy, but half the battles, knowing it and I tell my daughters. I know it. No I just have to get out not that easy. It's almost impossible to escape bye. I'm an empath I can do it!
I married one unknowingly. I lasted 10 months and ran. before I ran I started smelling a rat. and quickly began closing any financial openings. and planned my escape. he drug the divorce on for a year. did everything possible to not leave my home. he left the evening before I brought in law enforcement.
My entire family are narcissists except for my two brothers and myself- We three have been robbed of any money from an inheritance, been called dirty names, told we should die, and my sisters all tried to have sex with my late husband, while my other three brothers have sex with anyone and everyone. My siblings murdered my little brother but they work and scheme as a group and I’m at a loss on how to prove what they did. Every single item Danish listed my father, mother, and six siblings have done and they seem to get away with all the damage they do to other people. To stop them from murdering me too, no contact with that entire group is the only thing to do. Please listen to what Danish is saying because he is telling us how to save ourselves.
How awful! I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I always say that a person's true colours come out when someone dies. When my grandfather died, other relatives went through his fishing gear, taking what they wanted before he was even buried. I know that's nothing compared to what happened to you. Just saying that the behaviour is disgusting in both cases.
Let it go, it will keep you there. Go forward, be happy in spite of your loss. I have experienced loss myself, and now i know, that it isn't worth thinking about, because the will attract more of the same. BE HAPPY!!! That's the best revenge. YOU CAN DO IT JEAN LEWIS.!!!💖
Everything you said is spot on. Narcisists are driven by evil forces and they bring drama, trauma, chaos and destruction everywhere they go and in everything they do. We must have nothing to do with evil. Thank you Danish 😊 God bless you ❤
It's my birthday today and what I'm going through, the ugliness, the abuse , the jealousy, the hurts, the pain and I look so ugly and old just after few hours I woke up, and I've been crying all day, again I couldn't get through... I feel what a fool I am I can't believe, I can't even admit how many years I've survived suffering...I can't get out
In my experience I finally connected with a real person, in person, who is kind and also tells me the truth. It took me 24 years (after narc trauma) just looking for that kind of friend. Going to co-dependents anonymous helped, since the group I go to actually cares about spiritual growth. Humans are made to get nourished from the outside of themselves
We have to create what we want. It isn't a fairy tale and some want us to believe we have no power, but we do. Think using the law of attraction. the more you focus on your abuse (I just had my second heart surgery due to nerves) the more we get of the same. Quit saying, "I can't get out." Think yourself out and happy. I just sent positive thoughts to you. YOU CAN DO IT! You and I are both - - - out! We are both living our dream, happy and at peace. Neville Goddard is a good one to listen to, there are thousands. Of course, Danish is number one.
I did "sunk cost" for a little while, but I finally chalked up the loss and moved on. Was it easy? Fk no. Am I glad that I moved on? Only every waking moment of my life! 🎉 Thank you for another great episode, Danish 🎉
Danish what I am aware of is that all those years where not wasted. I learned from it and became a better version of myself. Only thing is....I wiisse I heard more early about Narcissitic personality,s and there behaviour. Now it is more in the open. Thanks to Internet. Thank you Danish you are one of my beautifull teachers.
@@jacquelinemarie1078You can do it. You can. ❤️ I was married to a narc for 24 years. I’ve been out for nearly 12. I’m still healing (because they TAKE so much), but I’ve been SO much happier! Since the moment I decided to leave. Peace is Everything. You can do it! Sending BIG hugs! 🩷❤️🧡
It's very rare for anyone to talk about being financially dependant on a Narcissist as I was for over 20 years. I had to put up with all kinds of abuse because I couldn't afford to cut him off and walk away. These days, I have a better income but he's helped me all those years, and I feel I owe him for all his help. At the moment he's on a mental ward under a section. So that's giving me a much needed break, thank God.
It’s the worst kind of narcissistic abuse and it seems like a lot of people were lucky to not get to this point, I’m yet to see someone who suffered as much as I did😢
. I'm in that club. 50 yrs. I found out 10 yrs ago what was wrong with him. I was already devastated physically and emotionally. Now I'm non-functional and no income. They're EVIL.
Danish your fees are really high for people not earning in dollars and pounds.. people are watching you from different parts of the world.. try to make it 10 to 20 dollars for people who want to join from india.. you are doing a fantastic job.. keep it up
🎯 Two quick stories abt how true this is. My Narc mother bought me a car @ 19. That was my car. She literally charge me every month like a carnote $200 bucks. Mind you this like 2006 and the car was a fukin Two door grandam with no fukin air! Then she was trying to charge me every two weeks until i told her no one pays the same bill twice a month! After that i got my 1st good job at the hospital (sadly the hospital kept calling the house and she never said anything because she didn't want me too work because she knew her money train would leave and i had just had my son) So she started charging me like creatinf bills every month like cell phone, car insurance, etc. These mfs are wicked individuals, and yep 10:15 I never tell my mom anything dealing with success or my business smh.
Ikr like my ex did aloy of annoying things which I will not say on here because they are probably watching everything ummm yeah be careful with these people keep your expensive things close to you
@bella_bella85, I moved back home with my narc mom to save money because I was going out of state for college. This was pre-internet, so college acceptance letters were mailed. I applied to several Universities and never received one letter (acceptance or rejection) I was starting to panic because the fall semester was a few months away, and I still needed to move across the country if I was accepted. I decided to call my #1 pick Univ to see if I was accepted, I was told over the phone that I was accepted, and that they sent me the letter two months ago! I am sure that she threw my letters away… because who would take care of her every need if I moved! I left 14 days after that phone call! 💪🏼
@@rek8514 Shyt is really demonic! She probably opened them and knew you got in and did the same shyt my mother did and didn't tell you. These MFS are just pure evil, there are no other words to describe em. SMH
A certain family member let the narcissist be on the title to his house. The day they were supposed to move in together she threw a fit over something stupid and tried to file a false police report, he said maybe it’s not a good idea for her to move in, and she threatened that she would make him have to sell the house. Definitely don’t do anything financially with a narcissist or let them know where your finances are. Tell them nothing!
#7 was insidious for me in the marriage (17yrs). "Never give up, never surrender" is for movies and will NOT work with a narcspouse. Because of this whole "i must not be trying hard enough" mentality, i know i never would have left. It took outside factors (eg, the cops & state) to make the defining break, lest a breaking of bones and /or windows occurred. *You. Can't. Fix. It.* Whatever is in them was broken long ago, and they've plastered it all over into obscurity... which happens to be THE SAME PLACE they want to bury You.
I wish I had known this a long time ago. This is Probably the best information I could have ever known. If I could turn back time, I would do it all differently. If I'd have known it would end up like this, I would have run and never looked back. It wasn't worth everything I deal with now. Thank you for this information. This is life changing info right here!!
wow, that's so unfair. a degree is great, but not necessary. You may miss a lot by not listening to someone recording from their car. don't put those people down, many are doing good work. I've worked with hundreds of doctors and others with a degree, and some are dumber than dirt - - - and evil. Danish is a gem, he is wonderful and his degree helps, but i'll bet you his experience is what we're benefiting from, not his degree.
Danish.. I m crying the hell out of me listening to the lines,' who you were, how miserable you have become after staying for such a long time'.... What i have been facing for all these years... I m using all your teachings.. You are my guide dear... God bless you...!
Please keep listening and reading others as well. we don't have the information to fight this, so we need to read and watch videos like this. I hope the best for you, a lot of us are crying, hurting, suffering in many ways. We can get out, but we need to now what we're dealing with first. I wish the best for you, you are being punished for loving too much. STOP IT!!! Love yourself first.
At first I was astonished how far their actions were from their words. I couldn't believe such people exist. Now I remind them every day that they're living in the imaginary world in their head😊 And of course no. 5 - he doesn't know me, he knows someone with my face that's living only in his head
You don't fall, you get distracted. I saw an old movie where a black slave told the little white girl she was caring for, who was being neglected by her rich parents. "Repeat after me, " the slave woman said, "I is good, I is beautiful, and I is important." I think about that so many times and cry, it's so heartwarming. So - - - YOU IS GOOD, YOU IS BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU IS IMPORTANT! Believe it, it's true. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Better to cut your losses and be called a fool than to waste even more of your life and time with them and be the bigger fool! You are so right, Danish. Also, they tend to use the phrases 'frankly', 'honestly', 'to be honest' a LOT....and since it is always opposite day with them, the obvious point is made. They can NEVER be honest. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!❤
I spent 8 years with one in a relationship. 16-24. Parental lack of boundaries with the first one i was birthed to is why i stayed so long. Married another one..... that was even darker... Escaped.... anddddddss the Last one i spent a year with... while taking care of his health, dealing with his addictions, and my own, his lack of respect for others, my own constant emotional and physical pain and they refused to let me grieve for my recent losses. Instead weaponizing everything i told them in confidence, shining light on my short comings without ever acknowledging their own flaws, fake apologies, exploiting my emotions, anddddddd calling ME controlling when i would try to use boundaries. Discarded and moved on immediately. Any time i would have good things happen to me and work despite all my problems to help myself, they would take credit also. Or try to. Once i had enough, i waited for the tears, slowly backed up to "fawn" again when i knew they were becoming violent and eventually got them back to their homestate they only left to use me and my family as a free ride. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My narcissistic sister! Money, money, money. She "tries to" make me feel guilty for not spending my money the way she spends her money. For example, she will buy our dad a fast food dinner. She'll make a huge deal out of it. Then, commenting on how I don't do that. I will when I choose to but if you think I'll do it when she tries to guilt trip me into it...um...no.
I hear ya! My brother tries to guilt-trip me sometimes. But I know exactly what he's doing, so I don't fall for that shit. He can take his guilt trip and cram it. I just laugh and think to myself: "Nice try."
Don't worry, there are ways to deal with that. Just tell her "I don't spend money on rubbish" (edit: or tell her bluntly: "I don't buy rubbish") and when you can buy your dad something healthy that he likes (mine loved homemade porridge and thick creamy Greek yogurts), or cook his favourite meal if that's possible, better quality nutritious stuff for his health and more importantly, it's your genuine caring love and support for your dad on a daily basis what really counts. Don't let her upset you. Everything that comes out of a narcissist's mouth is pure sh!te. Hope it helps 🙏🏻🌷
Married to a survivor of a narcissistic mother and for the longest time I thought that she was a narcissist because of the trauma bond. She displayed all the signs of a narcissist but once we broke off all contact she became a totally different normal human being!!!! I was ready to leave and now I could never think about it anymore because she is a completely different person. This new journey has brought us closer and you my friend had a huge impact on us. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts 💕
You are so wonderful. Everything I have learned from you is so valid from my life. I was married to a narssisst for 23yrs. I have been blessed to be happily divorced 21yrs. Now a daughter was married to one 10yrs. He cheated and they got divorced. He defamed her and got their child. She did not know what she was dealing with. It has been a disaster. He now abuses my grand daughter. Threatens her. And he married another girl and had a baby by her. She is the evil step mother. All I can do is pray. Thank you for your videos.
I am number 7 for sure. Been married 30 years to this person I have lost my mom and dad with a year and he had me severed when I was in hospice with my mother. I feel like I am grieving myself to death and he has cut me off from everything and everyone. I don’t know what to do. I feel like there is no hope.
I am sorry for your loss 🙏🏼🕊️. I believe he gives one on one coaching (check the description box) try to find someone you trust to talk to and most importantly stay PRAYED UP. I hope things get better soon for you.
I am sorry for your loss 🙏🏼🕊️. I believe he gives one on one coaching (check the description box) try to find someone you trust to talk to and most importantly stay PRAYED UP. I hope things get better soon for you.
I was helped by a codependents anonymous group in my area. I started going because of the brain damage I received from listening to my narc husband. I became a people pleaser, an enabler. Interacting with other in-person people with similar stories has very slowly been healing me
Yes if you stay there is decay. Well said. She would have treated me like shit and my daughter would have seen her papa being treated like that on top of her behaviour influencing my daughter. Now I can be with my daughter half the time and naturally be me and give love understanding to my daughter.
Rhe 6th on he is doing it for me now...Knewing whats in my heart,he uses very much against me as a weapon..and making me trapped in the same sitaution.Really an eye opening video.I totally stopped sharing whats in my mind.I have to go out soon.
The last point was the most painful realization for me, i broke into tears because the sink cost fallacy resonated with my situation. I stayed longer hoping things would get better because i left everything behind including my job, my friends and family, my hobbies, my healing journey, my dreams and projects, moved into his country, got a baby with him and i didn’t want to believe i invested all those to break up and build my life from zero again with a baby.
these truths stung. but the composite of these truths in many of your chaptered videos are undeniably important to remember and meditate on. in another video you said that during departure you will realize that from lovebombing to the end, all of it was a lie. it is going to hurt but it is important to remember that it was not real. “yes it will hurt but don’t take it personally because this is not your reality, they’ve done the same thing to everyone else they have been with.” thank you so much danish.
My ex bargained he would agree to certain things if I went to the couples counsellor he chose - the counsellor told me I'm filled with anger inside - I looked inside and - nope! I was openly angry about trying to leave a relationship and my partner using forcing techniques to keep it going - if he'd been respectful, we could have reflected & considered, but it was inconsiderate nasty coercion all the way. He never stuck to his word on anything either- not even after he shook hands on something. Such a low life. I was glad to get out.
How convenient that he demanded you see a counsellor that HE chose. He probably manipulated the counsellor to side with him - much like Danish described in this video. I'm glad that you got out, too!
@stargazer6074 thank you. Prior to that, I had already suggested couples counselling at the best quality service available (most experienced at relationships and most expensive). I knew the relationship was getting too strained, but hadn't realised it was because he had a control vendetta against me. :-( took me years to understand the full extent of it. So I went to the counselling service alone, using my salary. He blamed my counsellor for my decision to leave, but i realised when i saw her that the relationship had completely exhausted me and I was done staying with someone so mean to me.
My second one did that. Early on, when I could see problems, I tried to get him to go to counseling. He wouldn't. Then, when it was obviously over, he tried to get me to go to counseling with the pastor of his church. I had quit going a few years earlier, because something was way off with the people there. I realized later that he had been spreading rumors, because he didn't want to take any blame for it. He spread rumors with his family, and with his work associates that I had to interact with in social gatherings. Everything seemed way off for quite awhile, and then the light went on in my head. I left while he was on a business trip, but did not touch the money, only took a few necessities and left all my expensive jewelry. He got served the night he got home. What a pathetic little man.
@@SpikeLover1863 he did. I went to one session and the entire opinion from the counsellor was that I had unjustified internal anger - I really didn't, any anger I had was having to drag out the separation due to a disrespectful combative obstructive husband.
@@Cornusnuttallii Precisely the same! My entire church community sided with him without ever asking me anything. I thought it was really nasty, plus some of the men including main pastor said or did inappropriate things.
Danish, you have helped so many. I wish you didn't have the personal experience and hell growing up with narcissistic parents, but the insight has been valuable to us that are out here suffering. Please know you have helped me tremendously, I will always be grateful.
Oh, I must say, every point you made was so true. I fell victim to this for so many years! Now, I steer clear of anyone who even hints at having narcissistic traits!
I used to accept occasional financial help from a certain narcissist in my life. OH did I ever find out the hard way just how much this eventually gets used against you and gives them a HUGE sense of power and control. Narcs are puppeteers and master manipulators. What better way than with money...especially when they know you're down and out. To be clear: I never ONCE asked this person for a dime. She offered. Big mistake. I'd much rather be broke than be treated like a pathetic charity case by a malignant narc.
Same here.. I used to take some financial help from my working wife.. she earns more than me.. I spent 80 percent of my salary at home. She spent 25 percent of what I used to spend. Not 25 percent of her monthly income.. my God, I had to hear that m a beggar and i married her for her money atleast million times in my life. She just wants to be treated like a princess. No responsibility. No accountability.. only rage abuse insult scream and victim card.. I got exhausted and ran away from her.. irony is I still care for her..
If you Stay there’s only Decay!!! Excellent Danish I always love your symbolism. The financial abuse is toxic, my soon to be ex husband lied for years about his salary and our investments. During discovery my attorneys found the truth and sorry for him but my kids and I will be comfortable for our lifetime. We deserve ever penny for what we survived. Peace and Love to everyone going through this 🙏🏻🙌🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
This is the living truth...hope I had your videos long back ago i would have never fallen for such a trap Your every word is 100 % correct Totally agree with what you say because I am living that at the moment God save people from this kind of devil's in human form When we look at them we feel sad as to why are they this way but that sadness is turned to frustration by them only
My God so true. My husband is a narcissist to the core. Wish I new all this 25 years back!! Have lost so much of money in all of my husband's business start up's. Bless you Danish beta for all this good work. Keep it up and keep going. Lots and lots of blessings.
I really like how you explain everything on your videos. What I most like is to hear from yourself about your experience with your parents. I identify myself a lot. Thanks you are helping a lot with your dedication.🙏
Danish your this video is again eye opener for me...The point about finance..it is absolutely true & correct 💯. every word is a real description abt my husband with whom was since last 41 yrs..I decided to leave him & booked a senior citizens 1BHK apt..He had snached my all FD...& torched me in so many ways.. Thank God I got it through Bank ,s manager help& guidance...now I living in this Apt easily.but not peacefully.bcoz he is trying to troubling me frequently..he had Lot of money..inpite this.. really Nars r a person with out soul.. cruelty is in their blood....By the God,s grace I saved my savings for my old days... Thank you Danish as ur studies abt these NARC is approvals for my this approach & attitude for a narc.. partner
Let’s get this straight to all people listen to this no one knows a narcissist until they have experienced the evil ways of the narcissist so if u never experienced how a narcissist move. U will never know u cannot judge someone been a narcissist for some things they do it takes time to figure them out I figured them out and it took time. So I understand the concept of this video but no one knows a narcissist unless they’re experienced the painful relationship and the evil things they do one super experienced it you have been saved by God I wish no one ever experience relationship with a narcissist. My point is if you don’t know what to expect from a narcissist you’ll find out in a painful way my point if any person man woman mother father brother sister lover friend if your disrespect cut them out of your life. Not easy but it will save your life And you will get the respect you deserve✌🏽🙏🏽
Once again thank you for this Wise video. It's just comforting to hear the validations because my ex-husband was exactly like this. My mother was a narcissist but she could be generous from time to time. She never kept throwing it back in my face only once in awhile maybe. But she was my mother not my life partner. My husband was a male and my husband and so I guess he was expecting a woman to constantly give her paycheck. When I stopped it was very stressful until I was able to leave how about 9 months later. He complained about my 401k in court to the judge and the judge just looked at me like oh you poor thing. 🙄👍
For years, I have been in the last item that he talks about (sunk cost fallacy). There is nothing out there for me as I am too old and poor health to start over. The problem is, is that it has gotten so bad that even the prospect of nothing is now looking like an improvement. I can't live like this anymore. She has taken my joy, self-esteem, even my will to live is practically gone. I am exhausted. I used to have friends before I met her, but one by one, those have been taken away because she didn't like them or feel that I needed to talk to them, to keep in touch. Always questioning what we talked about, what they said about her, even when the topic had absolutely nothing to do about her she would accuse. I bow have friend, just one. I can't stay with her any longer as I know it will be the end of what little is left of me. I can't take it anymore. I have prayed to God to just take me for so many years, but God doesn't answer. Does God exist or even care? I'm so tired of her never ending cycle that just goes round and round and only gets worse as time goes on. Why won't God answer my prayers, I'm too weak, too chicken, too much of a coward to do it on my own. I was too stupid in the beginning when I seen all of the red flags; young and dumb. Why didn't I run.
If that one friend is both honest and loving you have a reason to go on-or go on to find a friendship that is honest and loving. The lie you have been told is that you aren’t able to do that❤️
OMG , he's been talking about taking me to islands for 2 months, and OMG what ever events are coming , and all the beautiful things supposed to be happening to me... OMG
Thank you so much for your genuineness and such practical help! Such a blessing! Thank you so much for your understanding, patience, and help walking through this till we can get out
Danish - Could you please do a video about covert narc’s ploys they use for narc supply? My Mom is such as covert narc she tells people she is “the victim” of radiowaves (5g cellular is “hunting” her, lol), victim of gravity because earth is flat and gravity is a conspiracy theory, she believes she is the victim of everything. Mom is also so highly narcissistic she is a “sovereign citizen” which means she believes our laws don’t apply to her because of her fake superiority. We are mostly estranged and only text a couple times a year and she always pushes her latest ploys on me but I see right through her delusions so I don’t participate.
You just describe my mother and my lady like you know them personally wow this is mind blowing inside on the subject matter, I'm learning, thank you buddy excellent service and report, 🕊️💗👊🙏
I'm living in LA, the most NARCISSISTIC Psychopathic Entitled Spoiled city I have ever lived in. Wherever you go you only meet different snakes 🐍 in human body. It's very difficult to live in these circumstances but I didn't find a better place to live. Any ideas?
Sadly I’ve been there with several of these with both my “best friend” of eight years and my mother as well. It’s definitely been a hot mess. She got all my passwords and I started from scratch and only have one single social media account because of her. I had to put extra security around several things and let go of all the hacked social media accounts.
It's so weird how they make everyone close to them as an extension, but treat them so differently. A golden child is them. A scapegoat belongs to them.
I tried therapy with her, both group and individual. I had to suspend mine because I was paying for everything, and I ran into financial trouble. When I returned I told my therapist I had seen a regression in my ex and he said “I don’t see it”. 100% true
My narc parents borrowed and lost a lot of money on 2 businesses that failed...both of which they had no prior experience/expertise with. I thought at the time they were being overly optimistic....but after realizing they are narcs, it was their grandiosity that set them up for failure.
"A narcissist's accusations are their confessions." Perfect!
An it's constant relentless
Yes! It makes sense all the things my mom and dad called me. It's a projection of themselves.
Yes the narc was constantly accusing me of cheating...it was her who was cheating
💯💯💯
Very true. What they say you are or other people are is exactly what you see in them but they will never mention themselves
This video is why I treat my narcissistic husband as an annoying roommate. A roommate doesn't need to know my business!
I treat him like a room mate too. I don't see him as a family member
If is a narc, wtf u still with him ?
@@lemaxx2638it’s easy to wonder that why are these people still with abusers? But real life is so complicated and every scenario is different maybe they have no family support, are trauma bonded, or are biding their time.
@@cleocatra9324 I understand. I used to be trauma bonded but when I understand that I was dealing with the devil, I start my healing journey far away from this individual. But when you know, there is really no excuses to stay.
Absolutely... me too. Buying time before I move out
1. Financially, partnership.
My boss , the narc, is a financial advisor (aka crook)!
2. Believe opposite of what they say . (LIARS)
3. DO NOT go to therapy with them. It won't change them
4. Do not believe their hopeless hope of change.
5. Do not believe the nasty names they call you.
6. Do not give them access to your personal life. (My boss,
Narc, wanted me available evenings and weekends! I said no. He fired me!)
7. Sunk cost.
( It has only been 5 days since I was fired and already my health is improved. I am happier and more at peace.I am sleeping better! worth it . I will find another job.)
I work part time in a small office of four staff. The support worker works 7 days per week with an occasional day off. She is a covert narc. The other one is bipolar and the third is covert narc with schizoid traits. My nerves are shaken. I have to get out of there even though I enjoy the job duties. Traps and set ups everywhere.
@@kerrytaggart8206 Yes, get out, don't tell anything to anybody, make sure new job has no way to talk to them: they like to sabotage and ruin your mental health and reputation until the end. I am finding Dan OConnor YT channel very helpful.
Are we the same cause my boss was also a narc. When I refused to be used without compensation he got angry. I feel lighter. Work environment became creepy real quick.
The monster way back went for therapy on his own. Of course, and the psychologist asked him to leave the room halfway during their session, and the reason was his incurable, psychologist also said after I'm done with you, I will be needing a psychiatrist.!
And guess what? The idiot thought it was hilarious.
Wow. What a terrible person your boss was. Oh, my soul.
They will look a gift horse in the mouth.They will take kindness as weakness.When you show them generosity they will want more whilst shamelessly never returning the favour.
Spot on!
They may perform kindness, but it’s transactional. It’s a performance to keep you nearby for the taking.
They may perform kindness, but it’s transactional. It’s a performance to keep you nearby for the taking.
@@babetteshaw He would hold the door open for me to walk into the 4 walls where he could abuse me.
"Never go on vacation with them" instantly came to my mind when I saw the title. They are heavily traumatic times instead.
I end up paying for everything
Also they spoil the day
In my case I could never enjoy to the fullest with my wife.. lot of mood swings.. sometimes jumpy sometimes low.. upset with the pics I take.. pics are important than enjoying the time n nature.. cant explain but it's heavy feeling..
Oh yeh, some of the most horrible things he told me and the worst times he yelled at me where on vacation. Didn't have a good time like I was supposed to, it was quite the opposite.
Every single summer we went to his condo at the sea he would tell me that he will send me back. Like I am a child. Because I wasn't following his rules. He would start in the late spring, saying :"this year you are not going with us to vacation..." What a horrible human being does something like that to his wife of 18 years? Thank God, that He has freed me from this torture.
"Think the worst and you'll be certain" is the motto that always works with a narcissist.
His own sister used to say, "Don't even think the worst might happen or he will make it happen!" I learned over time not to comment to him if I had concern over something.
@@twovirginiacats3753 the least is said the better around these individuals since they use everything against you. Never trust them. Keep safe.
Always expect the worst from a narcissist. Never believe a word they say but pay attention to what they do. They hate being exposed because it reveals how horrible they really are and don't want people to know. Keep away from them. Spot on video, Danish! 🎯
ALL of his videos are spot on, right?
@@Cornusnuttallii well I haven't seen ALL his videos yet but his content is spot on considering the fact that he's a narcissistic abuse survivor and a professional himself. Thanks for concerning. Cheers 👍🏻
A narcissist thinks:
Their money is their money,
My money is their money,
My family's money is their money, and
The entire world's money is their money.
Right!! What’s up with them and money? I’m so tired of it all coming down to that. I’m slowly detaching from my family and I can see that all I’ve ever been to them is an ATM. The guilt is tremendous, though.
My ex narc hated me and barely have me enough money for gas groceries. If he he thought or I was having any fun or joy he resented it because he didn’t want to pay for it. I other words he was so hateful resentful of me not working snd if he thought I was having any joy or fun he would ruin it.
And everyone owes them a living.
That's exactly what I just confronted my NH, about. He told me my money was his, I told him no! I bought a Firebox for my money, he got into my purse, and broke the one key and bent the other!, and I did confront him! I'm saving my money to get out, and I have my escape plan in place, in case he gets violent. He had triple by pass, colon cancer, prostrate cancer, 5 hours of gallbladder surgery, months of chemo, months of radiation. I told him I want a dissolution, he told me, ypu ain't staying here!! He has never loved me, and all this was proven that day I confronted him. It was worth it. Cuz he's a lonely old man now,and I don't care anymore.... phoohey on him.
True. My mother couldn't wait for her oldest sisters to pass. She told me she will go through their belongings and grab all their money and expensive items.Karma arrived: mother died first!
My narcissistic husband just spent almost all my inheritance on a new pickup truck and fishing boat for himself. Joint bank accounts are not a good idea with a narcissist!!!
I've been with my partner for 20 years and we have separate bank accounts - and that's the way I like it. I'm sorry that your husband felt so entitled to spend YOUR money on whatever he wanted for himself. How incredibly selfish of him!
😮
@@SpikeLover1863 Just spent her family's hard earned money.
😢
I got a small inheritance from my father ,I had it in a bank account my brothers girlfriend gave me the best advice .Put it in superannuation so your ex wife can’t touch it .Best advice I received,I never got to thank her ,she died a few years later .
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at digitalinvestigate@gmail.com where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
From one vet to another that was Very well said. I can relate to a lot that you've said. Thanks for taking the time to write that. However your last info abt the cyber person through me off bc so many of these are fake and set ups.
Thank you. well said. the last Cyber bit . Be careful of Frauds etc. Do it if you Savvy in that Area. it can lead to S'thing Ag. you. Eg. Stalking . etc.
So dying my hair, soing self care for myself, saying no to sex when i don't wanna have it and wearing makeup is a sign that i am a narcissist? What are you apostolic?
@@Yeehaw0588 I'm the only one dumb enough to respond to your absolute crazy comment. This video, and others like it, is way over your ability to grasp.
Loaned small amount to narc, he made one payment and threw a tantrum screaming yelling he didn't want to pay me back....Keep shinning the Light Bright Danish😊👍👍👍👍❤❤❤❤❤....this was a 52yr old man....
Mine took an entire year to give me my money back. Towards the end of the year, I told him it's time to give my money back. He has a good career but resented giving me my money back. These people have no morals and no integrity! 😮
He, in some twisted way , believe they are entitled to what is yours. I won't ever understand them.
I rebuke we all have our ways, but I believe these boneheads are demonic in nature. They can only hurt us because we love so deep. Anyone else would get smart and kick them to the curb. I have no where to go, little money to get there, and old enough where I'm not employable anymore. So I have to fight until I can leave. Hope your situation is better and continues to improve each day - - - YOU CAN DO IT!!!
@@melisentiapheiffer3034 From my experience they cannot keep up with routine expenses like rent and other household bills.
My narcissist ex and I had 5 years of relationship therapy, which didn't help at all . He said : “ I thought the therapy was only just for you “ 😢
It was a torture chamber indeed ….
Don’t ever go in there !!
Damn. 😢
Oh hell's bells. That is such a classic narcissistic response.
@@renel7303 Your’re right ! It is ….🙁
Reminds me of this guy who went to a therapist and allegedly manipulated her to " diagnose" his problem for issues ( suspected marital abuse ) with the least "damaging" diagnosis he said. Situational depression?? lol
There was nothing situational about it but his way of getting out of responsibility.
Meanwhile, still a victim.
They know all the angles and are very manipulative until competent and intelligent people catch on.
Sadly, some never do.
Thank you and love your informative channel. You are helping many people.
🙏
I could see that it would just be a merry go round for him to keep stalling the end.
Working the system.
I refused
This is spot on and so helpful. Narcissists are so obsessed with money that they can't wait to get their hands on other people's by all means, they are not to be trusted at all, they are liars, traitors and thieves. Never show any weakness to them and avoid any exposure revealing information about yourself because they are hungry for anything to use it against you. Keep strong and safe. Thank you, Danish 🙏🏻💜
Their lies are huge and convincing!
Such believable liars 😢
So convincing. Oh my God. The things they say that you didn't do and you know you didn't do it. And they make you crazy, but half the battles, knowing it and I tell my daughters. I know it. No I just have to get out not that easy. It's almost impossible to escape bye. I'm an empath I can do it!
I married one unknowingly. I lasted 10 months and ran.
before I ran I started smelling a rat. and quickly began closing any financial openings. and planned my escape.
he drug the divorce on for a year. did everything possible to not leave my home. he left the evening before I brought in law enforcement.
Thank goodness your're FREE now! It was very smart of you to protect your finances before you were able to safely leave him behind.
Good for you!
Good for you. So glad you were paying attention. wow, that's great!!!
My entire family are narcissists except for my two brothers and myself- We three have been robbed of any money from an inheritance, been called dirty names, told we should die, and my sisters all tried to have sex with my late husband, while my other three brothers have sex with anyone and everyone. My siblings murdered my little brother but they work and scheme as a group and I’m at a loss on how to prove what they did. Every single item Danish listed my father, mother, and six siblings have done and they seem to get away with all the damage they do to other people. To stop them from murdering me too, no contact with that entire group is the only thing to do.
Please listen to what Danish is saying because he is telling us how to save ourselves.
Spot on!My Narc adoptive brother took my entire parent’s Estate.I lost everything including my School Reports!
They are thieves will rob you blind.
How awful! I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I always say that a person's true colours come out when someone dies. When my grandfather died, other relatives went through his fishing gear, taking what they wanted before he was even buried. I know that's nothing compared to what happened to you. Just saying that the behaviour is disgusting in both cases.
Can you talk to a lawyer? There are free services through the lawyers organizations. Also, many job benefits include free legal consultations.
Let it go, it will keep you there. Go forward, be happy in spite of your loss. I have experienced loss myself, and now i know, that it isn't worth thinking about, because the will attract more of the same. BE HAPPY!!! That's the best revenge. YOU CAN DO IT JEAN LEWIS.!!!💖
Everything you said is spot on. Narcisists are driven by evil forces and they bring drama, trauma, chaos and destruction everywhere they go and in everything they do. We must have nothing to do with evil. Thank you Danish 😊 God bless you ❤
It's my birthday today and what I'm going through, the ugliness, the abuse , the jealousy, the hurts, the pain and I look so ugly and old just after few hours I woke up, and I've been crying all day, again I couldn't get through... I feel what a fool I am I can't believe, I can't even admit how many years I've survived suffering...I can't get out
In my experience I finally connected with a real person, in person, who is kind and also tells me the truth. It took me 24 years (after narc trauma) just looking for that kind of friend. Going to co-dependents anonymous helped, since the group I go to actually cares about spiritual growth. Humans are made to get nourished from the outside of themselves
We have to create what we want. It isn't a fairy tale and some want us to believe we have no power, but we do. Think using the law of attraction. the more you focus on your abuse (I just had my second heart surgery due to nerves) the more we get of the same. Quit saying, "I can't get out." Think yourself out and happy. I just sent positive thoughts to you. YOU CAN DO IT! You and I are both - - - out! We are both living our dream, happy and at peace. Neville Goddard is a good one to listen to, there are thousands. Of course, Danish is number one.
I did "sunk cost" for a little while, but I finally chalked up the loss and moved on. Was it easy? Fk no. Am I glad that I moved on? Only every waking moment of my life! 🎉 Thank you for another great episode, Danish 🎉
We have to to be healthy again.
Let go of feeling foolish and ashamed.
I wasn't the con. .he was
Oooh I'm there right now....
Danish what I am aware of is that all those years where not wasted. I learned from it and became a better version of myself. Only thing is....I wiisse I heard more early about Narcissitic personality,s and there behaviour. Now it is more in the open. Thanks to Internet. Thank you Danish you are one of my beautifull teachers.
Never stay with one. You will have a horrible life.
Now you tell me, haha. I can't leave just yet, but I'm using my mind to create happiness and rebuke the evil. Your advise is so true.
@@jacquelinemarie1078You can do it. You can. ❤️
I was married to a narc for 24 years. I’ve been out for nearly 12. I’m still healing (because they TAKE so much), but I’ve been SO much happier! Since the moment I decided to leave. Peace is Everything.
You can do it! Sending BIG hugs!
🩷❤️🧡
It's very rare for anyone to talk about being financially dependant on a Narcissist as I was for over 20 years. I had to put up with all kinds of abuse because I couldn't afford to cut him off and walk away. These days, I have a better income but he's helped me all those years, and I feel I owe him for all his help. At the moment he's on a mental ward under a section. So that's giving me a much needed break, thank God.
Tell us the secret how to put them there
A break just run away already
It’s the worst kind of narcissistic abuse and it seems like a lot of people were lucky to not get to this point, I’m yet to see someone who suffered as much as I did😢
. I'm in that club. 50 yrs. I found out 10 yrs ago what was wrong with him. I was already devastated physically and emotionally. Now I'm non-functional and no income.
They're EVIL.
You owned him nothing!!! Get your thinking straight, he only helped because he needed you.
He is so on point with the finances part. Never loan them money!!!
Danish your fees are really high for people not earning in dollars and pounds.. people are watching you from different parts of the world.. try to make it 10 to 20 dollars for people who want to join from india.. you are doing a fantastic job.. keep it up
“Flawless door mat” 😂
Love it. Though, unfortunately it’s true!
🎯 Two quick stories abt how true this is. My Narc mother bought me a car @ 19. That was my car. She literally charge me every month like a carnote $200 bucks. Mind you this like 2006 and the car was a fukin Two door grandam with no fukin air! Then she was trying to charge me every two weeks until i told her no one pays the same bill twice a month! After that i got my 1st good job at the hospital (sadly the hospital kept calling the house and she never said anything because she didn't want me too work because she knew her money train would leave and i had just had my son) So she started charging me like creatinf bills every month like cell phone, car insurance, etc. These mfs are wicked individuals, and yep 10:15 I never tell my mom anything dealing with success or my business smh.
Control...
Ikr like my ex did aloy of annoying things which I will not say on here because they are probably watching everything ummm yeah be careful with these people keep your expensive things close to you
@bella_bella85, I moved back home with my narc mom to save money because I was going out of state for college. This was pre-internet, so college acceptance letters were mailed. I applied to several Universities and never received one letter (acceptance or rejection) I was starting to panic because the fall semester was a few months away, and I still needed to move across the country if I was accepted. I decided to call my #1 pick Univ to see if I was accepted, I was told over the phone that I was accepted, and that they sent me the letter two months ago! I am sure that she threw my letters away… because who would take care of her every need if I moved! I left 14 days after that phone call! 💪🏼
@@rek8514 Shyt is really demonic! She probably opened them and knew you got in and did the same shyt my mother did and didn't tell you. These MFS are just pure evil, there are no other words to describe em. SMH
A certain family member let the narcissist be on the title to his house. The day they were supposed to move in together she threw a fit over something stupid and tried to file a false police report, he said maybe it’s not a good idea for her to move in, and she threatened that she would make him have to sell the house. Definitely don’t do anything financially with a narcissist or let them know where your finances are. Tell them nothing!
BELIEVING THEM IN ANY SETTING IS LIKE BELIEVING 'SATAN' PROMISING HEAVEN. Thank you Danish.... 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 on Point.
I love that truth… “if you stay, there is decay”. Only direct experience with malignant narcissist’s understand that truth.
#7 was insidious for me in the marriage (17yrs). "Never give up, never surrender" is for movies and will NOT work with a narcspouse. Because of this whole "i must not be trying hard enough" mentality, i know i never would have left. It took outside factors (eg, the cops & state) to make the defining break, lest a breaking of bones and /or windows occurred. *You. Can't. Fix. It.* Whatever is in them was broken long ago, and they've plastered it all over into obscurity... which happens to be THE SAME PLACE they want to bury You.
Just realised what an Ass I have been. thankyou, I wish I heard or knew this much earlier.
I wish I had known this a long time ago. This is Probably the best information I could have ever known. If I could turn back time, I would do it all differently. If I'd have known it would end up like this, I would have run and never looked back. It wasn't worth everything I deal with now. Thank you for this information. This is life changing info right here!!
IKR!!! Now that we know, we waste no time identifying them and we are gone!
Your credentials are appreciated instead of someone with no degree sitting in their car talking about narcissists
wow, that's so unfair. a degree is great, but not necessary. You may miss a lot by not listening to someone recording from their car. don't put those people down, many are doing good work. I've worked with hundreds of doctors and others with a degree, and some are dumber than dirt - - - and evil. Danish is a gem, he is wonderful and his degree helps, but i'll bet you his experience is what we're benefiting from, not his degree.
Danish.. I m crying the hell out of me listening to the lines,' who you were, how miserable you have become after staying for such a long time'....
What i have been facing for all these years...
I m using all your teachings..
You are my guide dear... God bless you...!
Please keep listening and reading others as well. we don't have the information to fight this, so we need to read and watch videos like this. I hope the best for you, a lot of us are crying, hurting, suffering in many ways. We can get out, but we need to now what we're dealing with first. I wish the best for you, you are being punished for loving too much. STOP IT!!! Love yourself first.
At first I was astonished how far their actions were from their words. I couldn't believe such people exist. Now I remind them every day that they're living in the imaginary world in their head😊 And of course no. 5 - he doesn't know me, he knows someone with my face that's living only in his head
❤ DANISH, THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR INFORMATION. I HAVE LEARNED ALOT AND USE IT EVERYDAY. SOMETIMES I FALL😢. 🎉
You don't fall, you get distracted. I saw an old movie where a black slave told the little white girl she was caring for, who was being neglected by her rich parents. "Repeat after me, " the slave woman said, "I is good, I is beautiful, and I is important." I think about that so many times and cry, it's so heartwarming. So - - - YOU IS GOOD, YOU IS BEAUTIFUL, AND YOU IS IMPORTANT! Believe it, it's true. YOU CAN DO IT!!!
One of the best you have posted. A real help. Thanks dude!
I am going to use the rhyme that Danish mentioned: "If you stay, there is decay." Excellent! Thank you, Danish!
Better to cut your losses and be called a fool than to waste even more of your life and time with them and be the bigger fool! You are so right, Danish. Also, they tend to use the phrases 'frankly', 'honestly', 'to be honest' a LOT....and since it is always opposite day with them, the obvious point is made. They can NEVER be honest. Thank you for sharing your wisdom!!❤
I spent 8 years with one in a relationship. 16-24. Parental lack of boundaries with the first one i was birthed to is why i stayed so long.
Married another one..... that was even darker...
Escaped.... anddddddss the
Last one i spent a year with... while taking care of his health, dealing with his addictions, and my own, his lack of respect for others, my own constant emotional and physical pain and they refused to let me grieve for my recent losses. Instead weaponizing everything i told them in confidence, shining light on my short comings without ever acknowledging their own flaws, fake apologies, exploiting my emotions, anddddddd calling ME controlling when i would try to use boundaries.
Discarded and moved on immediately.
Any time i would have good things happen to me and work despite all my problems to help myself, they would take credit also. Or try to. Once i had enough, i waited for the tears, slowly backed up to "fawn" again when i knew they were becoming violent and eventually got them back to their homestate they only left to use me and my family as a free ride. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I loaned the narc a large amount of money. He took an entire year to give my money back! I was stuck considering my goals for that year. Never again!
My narcissistic sister! Money, money, money. She "tries to" make me feel guilty for not spending my money the way she spends her money. For example, she will buy our dad a fast food dinner. She'll make a huge deal out of it. Then, commenting on how I don't do that. I will when I choose to but if you think I'll do it when she tries to guilt trip me into it...um...no.
I hear ya! My brother tries to guilt-trip me sometimes. But I know exactly what he's doing, so I don't fall for that shit. He can take his guilt trip and cram it. I just laugh and think to myself: "Nice try."
Don't worry, there are ways to deal with that. Just tell her "I don't spend money on rubbish" (edit: or tell her bluntly: "I don't buy rubbish") and when you can buy your dad something healthy that he likes (mine loved homemade porridge and thick creamy Greek yogurts), or cook his favourite meal if that's possible, better quality nutritious stuff for his health and more importantly, it's your genuine caring love and support for your dad on a daily basis what really counts. Don't let her upset you. Everything that comes out of a narcissist's mouth is pure sh!te. Hope it helps 🙏🏻🌷
@@helpinyerdasellavon ~ Thank you! Yes, it does help. You're right.💜
@@SpikeLover1863 ~ I agree! Sorry you go through that but at least we both know we're not alone.
Married to a survivor of a narcissistic mother and for the longest time I thought that she was a narcissist because of the trauma bond. She displayed all the signs of a narcissist but once we broke off all contact she became a totally different normal human being!!!! I was ready to leave and now I could never think about it anymore because she is a completely different person. This new journey has brought us closer and you my friend had a huge impact on us. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts 💕
You are so wonderful. Everything I have learned from you is so valid from my life. I was married to a narssisst for 23yrs. I have been blessed to be happily divorced 21yrs. Now a daughter was married to one 10yrs. He cheated and they got divorced. He defamed her and got their child. She did not know what she was dealing with. It has been a disaster. He now abuses my grand daughter. Threatens her. And he married another girl and had a baby by her. She is the evil step mother. All I can do is pray. Thank you for your videos.
You have said it all Danish👏👏👏🤝💐
Thank you dear for understanding and guiding the victims of narcissist's abuse so well🎀🎀
God bless you✨✨✨
feeling guilty about not doing it won't solve the problem. i needed to hear that.
I am number 7 for sure. Been married 30 years to this person I have lost my mom and dad with a year and he had me severed when I was in hospice with my mother. I feel like I am grieving myself to death and he has cut me off from everything and everyone. I don’t know what to do. I feel like there is no hope.
I am sorry for your loss 🙏🏼🕊️. I believe he gives one on one coaching (check the description box) try to find someone you trust to talk to and most importantly stay PRAYED UP. I hope things get better soon for you.
I am sorry for your loss 🙏🏼🕊️. I believe he gives one on one coaching (check the description box) try to find someone you trust to talk to and most importantly stay PRAYED UP. I hope things get better soon for you.
There is hope in Jesus, don't give up ❤
I was helped by a codependents anonymous group in my area. I started going because of the brain damage I received from listening to my narc husband. I became a people pleaser, an enabler. Interacting with other in-person people with similar stories has very slowly been healing me
Now ex-husband
Another GREAT video!
Thanks Danish.
Yes if you stay there is decay. Well said. She would have treated me like shit and my daughter would have seen her papa being treated like that on top of her behaviour influencing my daughter. Now I can be with my daughter half the time and naturally be me and give love understanding to my daughter.
I can tell you love your daughter very much. Beautiful ending that you can both relax and enjoy your time together. Thanks for sharing.
"I wish you the best", he wrote me - and then? He is crazy, awful, creepy, no man😢
Rhe 6th on he is doing it for me now...Knewing whats in my heart,he uses very much against me as a weapon..and making me trapped in the same sitaution.Really an eye opening video.I totally stopped sharing whats in my mind.I have to go out soon.
The last point was the most painful realization for me, i broke into tears because the sink cost fallacy resonated with my situation. I stayed longer hoping things would get better because i left everything behind including my job, my friends and family, my hobbies, my healing journey, my dreams and projects, moved into his country, got a baby with him and i didn’t want to believe i invested all those to break up and build my life from zero again with a baby.
I am so sorry! I moved to another country for him too, wasted more than 20 years... you did great! Wishing you the very best!✨
You're so right. They don't change, but you do.
these truths stung. but the composite of these truths in many of your chaptered videos are undeniably important to remember and meditate on. in another video you said that during departure you will realize that from lovebombing to the end, all of it was a lie. it is going to hurt but it is important to remember that it was not real. “yes it will hurt but don’t take it personally because this is not your reality, they’ve done the same thing to everyone else they have been with.” thank you so much danish.
Danish, this is by far the best video on the problems with narcissists.
He has a lot of best videos😅
Very informative respected Sir!
My ex bargained he would agree to certain things if I went to the couples counsellor he chose - the counsellor told me I'm filled with anger inside - I looked inside and - nope! I was openly angry about trying to leave a relationship and my partner using forcing techniques to keep it going - if he'd been respectful, we could have reflected & considered, but it was inconsiderate nasty coercion all the way.
He never stuck to his word on anything either- not even after he shook hands on something. Such a low life. I was glad to get out.
How convenient that he demanded you see a counsellor that HE chose. He probably manipulated the counsellor to side with him - much like Danish described in this video. I'm glad that you got out, too!
@stargazer6074 thank you. Prior to that, I had already suggested couples counselling at the best quality service available (most experienced at relationships and most expensive). I knew the relationship was getting too strained, but hadn't realised it was because he had a control vendetta against me. :-( took me years to understand the full extent of it.
So I went to the counselling service alone, using my salary. He blamed my counsellor for my decision to leave, but i realised when i saw her that the relationship had completely exhausted me and I was done staying with someone so mean to me.
My second one did that. Early on, when I could see problems, I tried to get him to go to counseling. He wouldn't. Then, when it was obviously over, he tried to get me to go to counseling with the pastor of his church. I had quit going a few years earlier, because something was way off with the people there. I realized later that he had been spreading rumors, because he didn't want to take any blame for it. He spread rumors with his family, and with his work associates that I had to interact with in social gatherings. Everything seemed way off for quite awhile, and then the light went on in my head. I left while he was on a business trip, but did not touch the money, only took a few necessities and left all my expensive jewelry. He got served the night he got home. What a pathetic little man.
@@SpikeLover1863 he did. I went to one session and the entire opinion from the counsellor was that I had unjustified internal anger - I really didn't, any anger I had was having to drag out the separation due to a disrespectful combative obstructive husband.
@@Cornusnuttallii Precisely the same! My entire church community sided with him without ever asking me anything. I thought it was really nasty, plus some of the men including main pastor said or did inappropriate things.
NOW you tell me! YES all 7 are true. And I fell for it. Never again
Thank you for this extremely helpful video!!! ❤
Thank you for bringing this out. I am a cautious person because of what I have been through so if I feel cautious there is usually a reason.
Danish, you have helped so many. I wish you didn't have the personal experience and hell growing up with narcissistic parents, but the insight has been valuable to us that are out here suffering. Please know you have helped me tremendously, I will always be grateful.
Oh, I must say, every point you made was so true. I fell victim to this for so many years! Now, I steer clear of anyone who even hints at having narcissistic traits!
I used to accept occasional financial help from a certain narcissist in my life. OH did I ever find out the hard way just how much this eventually gets used against you and gives them a HUGE sense of power and control. Narcs are puppeteers and master manipulators. What better way than with money...especially when they know you're down and out. To be clear: I never ONCE asked this person for a dime. She offered. Big mistake. I'd much rather be broke than be treated like a pathetic charity case by a malignant narc.
Same here.. I used to take some financial help from my working wife.. she earns more than me.. I spent 80 percent of my salary at home. She spent 25 percent of what I used to spend. Not 25 percent of her monthly income.. my God, I had to hear that m a beggar and i married her for her money atleast million times in my life. She just wants to be treated like a princess. No responsibility. No accountability.. only rage abuse insult scream and victim card.. I got exhausted and ran away from her.. irony is I still care for her..
Wonderful video, Danish!! Absolutely love your work and appreciate all that you do to bring light to those dealing with narcissistic individuals. 💗
Exactly like my aunt is doing to me right now. She got more evil than ever when i got pregnant and i called her out for what she is doing
Just.... Never go on a 2nd date when you know the signs!
If you Stay there’s only Decay!!! Excellent Danish I always love your symbolism. The financial abuse is toxic, my soon to be ex husband lied for years about his salary and our investments. During discovery my attorneys found the truth and sorry for him but my kids and I will be comfortable for our lifetime. We deserve ever penny for what we survived. Peace and Love to everyone going through this 🙏🏻🙌🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋
This is the greatest quick analysis ive seen re the narcissist
This is the living truth...hope I had your videos long back ago i would have never fallen for such a trap
Your every word is 100 % correct
Totally agree with what you say because I am living that at the moment
God save people from this kind of devil's in human form
When we look at them we feel sad as to why are they this way but that sadness is turned to frustration by them only
You are guiding us truthfully, thank you
My God so true. My husband is a narcissist to the core. Wish I new all this 25 years back!!
Have lost so much of money in all of my husband's business start up's. Bless you Danish beta for all this good work. Keep it up and keep going. Lots and lots of blessings.
I really like how you explain everything on your videos. What I most like is to hear from yourself about your experience with your parents. I identify myself a lot. Thanks you are helping a lot with your dedication.🙏
Danish your this video is again eye opener for me...The point about finance..it is absolutely true & correct 💯. every word is a real description abt my husband with whom was since last 41 yrs..I decided to leave him & booked a senior citizens 1BHK apt..He had snached my all FD...& torched me in so many ways..
Thank God I got it through Bank ,s manager help& guidance...now I living in this Apt easily.but not peacefully.bcoz he is trying to troubling me frequently..he had Lot of money..inpite this.. really Nars r a person with out soul.. cruelty is in their blood....By the God,s grace I saved my savings for my old days... Thank you Danish as ur studies abt these NARC is approvals for my this approach & attitude for a narc.. partner
Let’s get this straight to all people listen to this no one knows a narcissist until they have experienced the evil ways of the narcissist so if u never experienced how a narcissist move. U will never know u cannot judge someone been a narcissist for some things they do it takes time to figure them out I figured them out and it took time. So I understand the concept of this video but no one knows a narcissist unless they’re experienced the painful relationship and the evil things they do one super experienced it you have been saved by God I wish no one ever experience relationship with a narcissist. My point is if you don’t know what to expect from a narcissist you’ll find out in a painful way my point if any person man woman mother father brother sister lover friend if your disrespect cut them out of your life. Not easy but it will save your life And you will get the respect you deserve✌🏽🙏🏽
Once again thank you for this Wise video. It's just comforting to hear the validations because my ex-husband was exactly like this. My mother was a narcissist but she could be generous from time to time. She never kept throwing it back in my face only once in awhile maybe. But she was my mother not my life partner. My husband was a male and my husband and so I guess he was expecting a woman to constantly give her paycheck. When I stopped it was very stressful until I was able to leave how about 9 months later. He complained about my 401k in court to the judge and the judge just looked at me like oh you poor thing. 🙄👍
For years, I have been in the last item that he talks about (sunk cost fallacy). There is nothing out there for me as I am too old and poor health to start over. The problem is, is that it has gotten so bad that even the prospect of nothing is now looking like an improvement. I can't live like this anymore. She has taken my joy, self-esteem, even my will to live is practically gone. I am exhausted. I used to have friends before I met her, but one by one, those have been taken away because she didn't like them or feel that I needed to talk to them, to keep in touch. Always questioning what we talked about, what they said about her, even when the topic had absolutely nothing to do about her she would accuse. I bow have friend, just one. I can't stay with her any longer as I know it will be the end of what little is left of me. I can't take it anymore. I have prayed to God to just take me for so many years, but God doesn't answer. Does God exist or even care? I'm so tired of her never ending cycle that just goes round and round and only gets worse as time goes on. Why won't God answer my prayers, I'm too weak, too chicken, too much of a coward to do it on my own. I was too stupid in the beginning when I seen all of the red flags; young and dumb. Why didn't I run.
Get some serious therapy just for you. I know for sure you will begin to see yourself and your future differently. 🌻
If that one friend is both honest and loving you have a reason to go on-or go on to find a friendship that is honest and loving. The lie you have been told is that you aren’t able to do that❤️
OMG , he's been talking about taking me to islands for 2 months, and OMG what ever events are coming , and all the beautiful things supposed to be happening to me... OMG
Never walk along a cliff edge with a narcissist. Even if it is your mother. Never.
1. Learnt it the hard way. £5500 never been paid back to me from my parents
Thank you so much for your genuineness and such practical help! Such a blessing! Thank you so much for your understanding, patience, and help walking through this till we can get out
All you said is
True thank you Brother
God Blesse
Danish - Could you please do a video about covert narc’s ploys they use for narc supply? My Mom is such as covert narc she tells people she is “the victim” of radiowaves (5g cellular is “hunting” her, lol), victim of gravity because earth is flat and gravity is a conspiracy theory, she believes she is the victim of everything. Mom is also so highly narcissistic she is a “sovereign citizen” which means she believes our laws don’t apply to her because of her fake superiority. We are mostly estranged and only text a couple times a year and she always pushes her latest ploys on me but I see right through her delusions so I don’t participate.
Seriously for real.
You just describe my mother and my lady like you know them personally wow this is mind blowing inside on the subject matter, I'm learning, thank you buddy excellent service and report, 🕊️💗👊🙏
All 7 things you have outlined in this video I have already done with my narcissistic mother .
I’m suffering terribly
I need help !
I'm assuming you are school age? Go to the school nurse, nobody else, and tell her that you want to see a counselor.
Thank you.
divert atleast 2 to 3 hour in different way.
Thank you.
Wonderful video thank you
Spending my life my precious time is unrepairable .
I'm living in LA, the most NARCISSISTIC Psychopathic Entitled Spoiled city I have ever lived in. Wherever you go you only meet different snakes 🐍 in human body. It's very difficult to live in these circumstances but I didn't find a better place to live. Any ideas?
Sadly I’ve been there with several of these with both my “best friend” of eight years and my mother as well. It’s definitely been a hot mess. She got all my passwords and I started from scratch and only have one single social media account because of her. I had to put extra security around several things and let go of all the hacked social media accounts.
It's so weird how they make everyone close to them as an extension, but treat them so differently. A golden child is them. A scapegoat belongs to them.
Absolute matching with fresh experiences...
I tried therapy with her, both group and individual. I had to suspend mine because I was paying for everything, and I ran into financial trouble.
When I returned I told my therapist I had seen a regression in my ex and he said “I don’t see it”.
100% true
Me too😂😂😂
There sperating the children from my family to their family alone....and I know God will reward them for who they are.
Yup! Learned all this the hard way
Never take one home lol
Brilliant
Thank you
I need both courses
Breaking trauma bond and coming parenting
I’m not sure what to do?
Keep going to court
Or stop
Thank you so much Danish, you’ve helped me tremendously ❤️
My narc parents borrowed and lost a lot of money on 2 businesses that failed...both of which they had no prior experience/expertise with. I thought at the time they were being overly optimistic....but after realizing they are narcs, it was their grandiosity that set them up for failure.