5 Ways Your Silence Destroys a Narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 249

  • @narcabusecoach
    @narcabusecoach  7 місяців тому +22

    Link to my best resources for healing:
    linktr.ee/narcabusecoach

    • @SheenaMathew
      @SheenaMathew 7 місяців тому

      @@Spikypotato.p

    • @Portia620
      @Portia620 7 місяців тому +1

      Victims might not kiss the narcissist so that’s not always the case that you’re the narcissist just because you don’t kiss your husband or if you don’t have sex with him some narcissist, especially if you show me your little crazier than them they don’t raise their hand to you anymore and if they haven’t overreaching Parent like Their in-laws that have been involved over domestic then they’re more careful what they do remember they don’t want to be known they hide it so they find other ways to abuse you it’s not always physical abuse and it’s not always withholding sometimes the victim withhold sex and other things because they don’t want a venereal disease and again not narcissist physically abused there are times where they do throw things push you against the wall, but they’ll never leave evidence there’s a big difference so please clarify that

    • @SumaiyaFahmida-h9z
      @SumaiyaFahmida-h9z 2 місяці тому

      Danish,my husband is a narcissist,he is not taking any financial responsibility for our baby,I am pregnant,what should I do?

  • @darlamerrill8052
    @darlamerrill8052 7 місяців тому +166

    Sometimes they don't want u to sleep either. Sleep restores sanity and health.😊

    • @irenehamilton2981
      @irenehamilton2981 7 місяців тому +4

      Omg lights on for like 10 minutes I'm trying to sleep not cool

    • @soniaochieng
      @soniaochieng 7 місяців тому

      Not anymore it will all Fall back on them instead ! .

    • @xianning
      @xianning 7 місяців тому +3

      The narcissist in my life makes startling scary noises everytime he walks by (he would suddenly hit a pan while he is cooking). I tell him to stop and he blame shifts this and that. Deep down I know his intention is to abuse.

    • @ayashaloya
      @ayashaloya 7 місяців тому +5

      Very true! They know sleep will restore your thoughts and strengthen you. They prefer to keep your mind weak only so that they may control you.

    • @aiashapearson6126
      @aiashapearson6126 5 місяців тому +4

      Yes so true he will wake me up when I’m trying to sleep and have to work early in the morning to pick fights and drama

  • @user-dz7pi5wi6t
    @user-dz7pi5wi6t 7 місяців тому +96

    When you go no contact with a narc and don't give them a reaction, they will target someone else. They can't live without drama.

    • @vickibazter3446
      @vickibazter3446 7 місяців тому +2

      AMEN

    • @daryleverettjr.8881
      @daryleverettjr.8881 6 місяців тому +1

      So my baby mom is gonna target he new supply which is her new baby dad now since she's having their 4th child together.

    • @user-dz7pi5wi6t
      @user-dz7pi5wi6t 6 місяців тому

      @@daryleverettjr.8881 If she is a narc, her partner is probably an enabler.

    • @user-dz7pi5wi6t
      @user-dz7pi5wi6t 6 місяців тому

      @@daryleverettjr.8881 If she is a narc, her new partner is probably an enabler.

    • @LunaMoon518
      @LunaMoon518 4 місяці тому +1

      Or they recruit flying monkeys to harass/guilt trip you on their behalf.

  • @SaraX2024
    @SaraX2024 7 місяців тому +72

    When there is silence, they wonder what do you know....

  • @Shve18-o6x
    @Shve18-o6x 7 місяців тому +45

    Silence confuses and triggers them

  • @LowellHancock
    @LowellHancock 7 місяців тому +83

    Never interrupt a enemys mistake

  • @theresiacunha7433
    @theresiacunha7433 7 місяців тому +59

    And your happiness are their sadness.......

  • @Shve18-o6x
    @Shve18-o6x 7 місяців тому +49

    Silence is very intimidating to them

  • @xefirah8753
    @xefirah8753 7 місяців тому +96

    Their World is outside of them. Silence eliminates their Reality

    • @BlissfulBombshells
      @BlissfulBombshells 7 місяців тому

      🤔😨 Ohhhhh!!! You're SO RIGHT!!! BCUZ they're vapid & empty inside! They have ZERO substance! And without a human~puppet doing their bidding, they feel powerless & unable to control themselves & their environments!?!??💜🖤☄

  • @cindys.9688
    @cindys.9688 7 місяців тому +121

    Exactly! They aren't as good as they try to make us believe and we aren't as bad as they try to make us believe. Excellent point!💚

    • @matikramer9648
      @matikramer9648 7 місяців тому +7

      But we are very resilient
      And we can understand ourselves best
      And we can start to call for a manipulation by it's true name - MANIPULATION
      and we can keep our cards to ourselves

  • @Shve18-o6x
    @Shve18-o6x 7 місяців тому +40

    They push us through many derogatory ways to break our silence and make us react

  • @cassien7585
    @cassien7585 7 місяців тому +163

    One thing I recently noticed when I have to visit my narc inlaws, they ALWAYS have noise on. The tv at capacity, the nonstop noise from their tablets. All the lights on. It's overwhelming and chaotic. Before I realized they were narcissists, I'd tell them how the noise negatively affects the kids and of course they didn't listen. Thank God they don't stay in our house anymore. I have both of them blocked and they definitely try to send insipid texts. I know it enrages them. That part about the more silence the more clarity you get is 1000 percent true. That's literally why I don't speak to them. I know exactly who they are.

    • @audrablue515
      @audrablue515 7 місяців тому +8

      That makes sense looking back at my narc ex and his parents (he lived with them). The lights were always on even in the middle of the night, the sound on the tv was at full bore all the time. There was music in one room and tv in the other and then laptops and computers and smart phones....it was awful. I had to go outside to get some peace and quiet. His parents also had the tv in their bedroom going all night. My ex would also have some tv show playing on his screen while he slept as well. No wonder they were all stressed and tired all the time. All that stuff going into their subconsciouses all night. And my ex used to love shows about serial killers or war snipers or cop shows or air crash/car crash investigations. And he'd try and engage me in conversations about them all the time. It got to the point where I snapped at him that it was sick and twisted that he identified with serial killers. It was almost like he admired them and wished that he could be like them.
      I was glad when I went home after my visits to get some peace and quiet. Even now, I can't stand loud noises and enjoy just sitting and reading or knitting or sewing or painting something else quiet and productive. It's even better now that I've blocked him and gone complete no contact. He must be going nuts living on his own now, especially as he's alienated everyone who used to give him supply. What a moron.

    • @VadersGodchild
      @VadersGodchild 7 місяців тому +4

      You are AWESOME!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT!!!❤🎉

    • @athenagriego4561
      @athenagriego4561 7 місяців тому +3

      Lol I've just had an aah ha moment reading this comment. He would always try to blame me for the light bill being high. I said to him the lights are off when I'm home. When he comes back from his trips the next day he unpacks does his laundry and leaves the lights on and TVs on. I Said to myself "Im sorry but this man is crazy". Now I know why he leaves all the lights abd TVs on. Thank you for this video and comment.

    • @aiashapearson6126
      @aiashapearson6126 5 місяців тому +2

      Mine has lights on even in the day time all day, every room!! He always needs noise too

    • @Rohityourface
      @Rohityourface 4 місяці тому +1

      So true i was almost shocked when i dated a girl and her familys living room didnt have a tv. When it was so normal to my narc fam, i was like what. But now i understand.

  • @marcharsveld2914
    @marcharsveld2914 7 місяців тому +67

    Going no contact brought me peace. Never mind the five reasons why my silence destroys a narrcissist. I needed and still need that silence myself. To recover from the abuse and to grow into who I want to be. Thnx Danish for bringing me where I am now. Watching your vids a few years now. You among others made me recover and prosper. Not prosper again. Talking about my dad the narc. Like you do. Took me 54 years to find out. I am 58 now.. It has been a hell of a journey. Thnx again bro.

  • @popmonika
    @popmonika 7 місяців тому +55

    If you are going silent, make sure you have strong boundaries and/or you can go no contact. The hoovering will be very constant and can at times be destructive.

  • @jessparsons8515
    @jessparsons8515 5 місяців тому +15

    They hate to be ignored

    • @teresagarcia7580
      @teresagarcia7580 Місяць тому +1

      Why you should when you done with the relationship

  • @cindys.9688
    @cindys.9688 7 місяців тому +55

    I love and appreciate your teachings. This lesson on silence is perfect. My narcissistic sister can't stand when I'm silent against her. Drives her crazy. Yes, narcissists are paranoid. They don't care about other people. Unpredictability is awful to them. Thank you for everything you teach!💚

  • @rajbilla76
    @rajbilla76 7 місяців тому +45

    In your silence the narcissist will start to hum around you. 😂☠️😭

  • @eiehe93-
    @eiehe93- 2 місяці тому +50

    When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing.
    They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal.
    They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.
    Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out MetaspyClubLLC@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

  • @prophet1782
    @prophet1782 7 місяців тому +14

    WOW !! This is Deep fellas. 100% Correct. I'm from a narc family. 8 out of 11 were narcs Against me.
    Don't argue . Don't talk back. just walk away. BUT they'll keep coming at you. GO NO CONTACT. !!!

  • @godschildyes
    @godschildyes 7 місяців тому +40

    My ex-husband literally would say, "It's too quiet! I gotta go!" Then he would dash out of the door! Moreover, when I would go silent, he would literally go crazy and his eyes would become glassy. This is when he would become unhumanly "nice" and leave the house.

  • @susanmercurio1060
    @susanmercurio1060 7 місяців тому +32

    I "stopped listening" to my mother, who had never listened to me since I was born, but it looked like I wasn't speaking to her. I started when I was 25 years old and I figured that I had the next 25 years before I had to listen to her again.
    I'm not sure that she was actually a narcissist, but she did have some tendencies of it.
    This put her in the position of having silence from me. My sisters told me that she was crying a lot.
    After 15 years, she admitted that she had abused me while I was a child and apologized. I didn't talk to her right away, but after a couple of years I got in touch with her. Then we had the relationship that I had always wanted.
    I think that she got the space she apparently needed to take a look at herself.

    • @VadersGodchild
      @VadersGodchild 7 місяців тому +1

      You are a WARRIOR!! I appreciate your comment!!🎉🎉

  • @TheGreatPretender89
    @TheGreatPretender89 7 місяців тому +14

    I went no contact with my in-laws in January. I even blocked them via, online, email, and phone. Recently they came over and demanded to see us and then tried to pretend like nothing had happened. It was the oddest thing.

  • @cherylberk4593
    @cherylberk4593 7 місяців тому +14

    Right again! They have the need for a radio, tv, and other noises all at once, non stop crazy making.

  • @eco1937
    @eco1937 7 місяців тому +34

    Yes! 100%! Narcissist husband turns the tv on as soon as he comes in the door and watches it all evening, otherwise "It's too quiet". What does he mean?! The silence is glorious.
    He just loves to watch tv all of the time (instead of actually having a conversation with a real person in front of them) as it's "escapism from real life because real life is sooo depressing"...
    I understand his words differently now, having learned so much about narcissism recently.

  • @User_8847
    @User_8847 7 місяців тому +18

    I’ve not heard about “not being allowed to stay silent” in any videos until this one. My dad used to say “you’re not going anywhere until we figure this out” but it would most always be about a something he started. Same dude used to ask me “what I was smiling about” if I came home from school “too happy”. He’s since passed and I’m much happier these days but it’s nuts how long that mental warfare can affect us as adults.

    • @karnalsunita90
      @karnalsunita90 6 днів тому

      I can’t also forget the days that whenever I used to return home from office with a smile on my face, my husband used to talk to me in such a way that the smile could not remain on my face.

    • @User_8847
      @User_8847 6 днів тому

      @ I hope you are free from this now ♥️

    • @karnalsunita90
      @karnalsunita90 6 днів тому

      @@User_8847 Still on the journey of freedom

    • @User_8847
      @User_8847 6 днів тому

      @ stay strong 💪 I am wishing you the most luck and success possible

  • @sahajjeewanbydrlata
    @sahajjeewanbydrlata 7 місяців тому +13

    Danish you are an Angel who has suffered a lot to help others finally, God knows what you went through and is always there protecting you not allowing you to break down

  • @xianning
    @xianning 7 місяців тому +15

    The narcissist parent in my life sold my car while I was on vacation and he pocketed the amount for himself (he used it all on food). For quite some time I had to walk an hour to buy groceries even during winter. I didn't want to buy another car while he was still around because I know he would sell it again. Now my goal is to cheaply sell off my belongings, earn enough dough and move far away.

  • @RebelsBestFriend
    @RebelsBestFriend 7 місяців тому +20

    Danish, I really think you are a wonderful person. You have turned an extremely toxic, rotten, destructive, hateful, persons effect on you
    into something good for others. My goodness. I'm a victim like you are, and I have to confess staying silent is SO HARD because I want
    to tell my narc exactly what I think about her. And I know she enjoys it. But when all is said and done, no contact is more healing. My sister,
    Emily was the most evil person I have every had in my life and now I'm free. I check in with you now and again for a refresher.

    • @VadersGodchild
      @VadersGodchild 7 місяців тому

      Warrior!!! PERIODT 💯💯💯💯❤❤❤❤

  • @gigiw.7650
    @gigiw.7650 6 місяців тому +10

    Noise. They have to have it. Slam bang, crash. TV on high volume, yelling. I can be dead asleep, and one of them is hollering on the phone, early in the morning or late at night. It's insane! I used to tell my nephew if you want to talk to me, come in the house where I am, and talk in a normal voice. Don't sit on your butt and scream across the house. He was always very well behaved at my house. No yelling no disobedience, no breaking furniture. His parents couldn't believe it, lol. 😂
    My home was uncluttered and clean. Their house was dirty, cluttered and chaotic. They liked it that way!

  • @debayanghosh9228
    @debayanghosh9228 7 місяців тому +71

    This may come as an exaggeration but I have defeated TWO narcissists in their own game just by silence. It really is their Kryptonite.

  • @jenlovesthisstuff
    @jenlovesthisstuff 7 місяців тому +72

    They always make their phone calls on loudspeaker, no matter where they are or who else is in the room.

    • @Gigi0408
      @Gigi0408 7 місяців тому +11

      Oh my days. I never understood this at all.

    • @jenlovesthisstuff
      @jenlovesthisstuff 7 місяців тому +6

      @Gigi0408 I think it's actually a red flag that is easily identifiable but no one talks about

    • @jenlovesthisstuff
      @jenlovesthisstuff 7 місяців тому

      ​@ilovepeace-uq2hu🥰

    • @christinadimaggio410
      @christinadimaggio410 6 місяців тому +4

      I can’t stand this! I feel my ex did this to put on a show to gain sympathy from whoever was around because so many times she’d start saying things like “please stop, just stop”, or “you’re laughing at me?” “You think this is funny?”, and I’m on the other line like, hello? Who are you talking to? What’s going on? Finally I figured it out… she was pretending I was this heartless monster with her pretend a😊
      Sometimes I would call her out on what she was doing , or just speak the truth about something and she would get so mad and hang up right away because I was blowing her cover , that’s what it seemed like anyway.

    • @redefinedliving5974
      @redefinedliving5974 6 місяців тому

      How?​@@jenlovesthisstuff

  • @margaretvenson7595
    @margaretvenson7595 7 місяців тому +13

    Thank you for amazing video. I have to say this resonate with so much. Given the Narcissist SILENCE is the best medicine going for them. Keep up the great work .

  • @Godismyking7
    @Godismyking7 2 дні тому

    You are so right. This Narc abuses me and insults after two hours of ranting he than says “now tell why you like talking to me”
    It’s so twist and demented

  • @josephjoejat9569
    @josephjoejat9569 7 місяців тому +16

    I could not work out how my ex could fall asleep within seconds of us having serious words about our relationship..to which she could not answer my questions but obviously realised I was distraught....with a long smirk and the notorious eye colour change from gorgeous green to black in a split second....I sensed the feeling of her absorbing my energy and loving every moment of seing me in emotional distress and feeling very content with her purposeful actions....I thought 🤔....is this for real....is this really happening....?...not humane empathetic behaviour....animals exhibit more empathy towards each other......Not human just sick....... Very well explained Danish.....Thank You....much clearer now 👍

  • @magueysunset
    @magueysunset 7 місяців тому +10

    I had to overcome inner guilt, then I was a thousand times better. That workbook called 30 Days to Overcome Guilt by Harper Daniels was a huge help, taught me mindfulness stuff.

  • @wandaandre2341
    @wandaandre2341 7 місяців тому +13

    I have noticed that they laugh all the time, they say something and usually laugh, inappropriately usually.

  • @ummhasankhan4024
    @ummhasankhan4024 4 місяці тому +3

    Thanks a ton. Realisation is dawning. I hv been with this kind of spouse. Who sponges on me for every thing 24x7. Without acknowledge ment or appreciation.....

  • @kimberlyhansen6378
    @kimberlyhansen6378 7 місяців тому +4

    I so, so appreciate your insight and reassurance. Despite (finally!) removing two very influential narcissists from my life, I'm still processing a lifetime of confusion, dissonance, and grief. Your words help my brain rearrange itself so my heart can rest after so many years of trauma. Thank you. ♡

  • @faithfulone06
    @faithfulone06 7 місяців тому +16

    Your words are always on point. Thank you.

  • @annjohnson8437
    @annjohnson8437 7 місяців тому +26

    When my narc husband is home, he has to have the TV and his phone blaring from the time he wakes up until the time he goes to bed. I've begged him to use ear buds atleast for his phone, but he refuses. I can't freaking stand it, so I stay in my room, office, or outdoors as much as possible. The worst is he then comes to "check" on me to see what I'm "up to." There is no peace to be found when living with a paranoid narcissist. 😢

    • @tidycoat
      @tidycoat 7 місяців тому

      Omg my husband does this exact thing too and I stay in my bedroom as much as I can to get away for peace!!

    • @lpunder1
      @lpunder1 7 місяців тому +3

      Leave them!

    • @ShaliniVerma-qy7jl
      @ShaliniVerma-qy7jl 4 місяці тому

      True

  • @anasuyazula2831
    @anasuyazula2831 7 місяців тому +13

    I thought that only step father and step mother can behave like this but your story is miserable,but have faith in God he will endow your life with purest form of joy

  • @princessoftermina
    @princessoftermina 7 місяців тому +6

    Before i served divorce papers he screamed in my face he wanted a divorce even in front of his friends once... the last time he did i said okay and served him the next day stopped talking to him that day. He has not stopped trying to talk to me and trust me i want to respond but thats what my notes app is for lol every response is written out but i realize thats what he wants so ill never send. I also might be getting a restraining order because him and his "uncle" will not stop bothering me about nonsense when I specifically told him to leave me alone unless its in regards to the divorce papers.

  • @sheripacori2097
    @sheripacori2097 12 днів тому

    Yup loud slamming of cupboards, doors banging, loud walking, loud coughing, sneezing, etc

  • @alilagrant3677
    @alilagrant3677 7 місяців тому +15

    And I can't stand silence either.... but only because I hear my abusers in my head

  • @nikkitran3501
    @nikkitran3501 7 місяців тому +9

    Thank you God I got out just in time .. 🙏🙏

  • @atirliag2833
    @atirliag2833 7 місяців тому +7

    I like this one Danish, it is giving more motivation to stay silent.

  • @b8akaratn
    @b8akaratn 7 місяців тому +7

    This has been really encouraging for me, thank you. I only ever comment in video threads for my bit of group therapy and never to narcspouse. But even this has had me wondering if I'm not silent enough 😞

  • @NadinePanici-zh4tp
    @NadinePanici-zh4tp 6 місяців тому +7

    My NARC husband always...always has noise on. Headphones while mowing grass. Speakers on in bathroom while showering. Loud music in the garage. When coming home you can hear his music in the car a 1/2 block away. Can only sleep with television on. If I turn off the tv he immediately wakes up. Married to him 38 years...should have left a long time ago. Now I'm trapped financially and for health insurance. I am 71. He is 66 but never matured beyond 14.😢

    • @nowKissthaQueen
      @nowKissthaQueen Місяць тому

      opposite for me my room is closer to the living room I have to sleep with my TV on so that I don't hear the things that are being said or me changing from 1st shift to 2nd shift so that I could figure out how to get sleep without being miserable constantly complaining about not getting enough rest. No one cared that I had to get up at 5:30 am to go to work, never cared. I keep headphones on so I can ignore them trying to hurt my feelings by ignoring I caught myself damn near begging for their engagement

  • @peachesmcgee4795
    @peachesmcgee4795 7 місяців тому +5

    Both narcs in my life are extremely busy-out and about all the time. The lockdowns nearly finished them off mentally!

    • @moorbish
      @moorbish 5 місяців тому +1

      Mine ended up in jail during that time. She couldn't text me to kill myself so she started writing letters telling me to kill myself

  • @Hansi-cr3ft
    @Hansi-cr3ft 6 місяців тому +2

    Thanks Danish only after coming across your videos last year could I make sense of all that was happening to me both my partner and my in-laws and his siblings all are narcs only after watching your videos have I healed so much I now look at all of them like a third person I have stopped reacting and am so much at peace with myself now my children are grown up most of my family responsibilities are taken care of and I am finally coming to self love phase I am enjoying it and my sleep has improved tremendously a big thank you from the bottom of my heart to you Danish

  • @theyellowshoe
    @theyellowshoe 7 місяців тому +10

    I've been doing the grey rock method for a few months now. So this is why he's been such a pest, constantly asking what's wrong or did you call me? I'm in the living room doing what I enjoy while he's in the bedroom at the back of trailer.

  • @poppylester2513
    @poppylester2513 Місяць тому

    I agree with this 100% it sounds like my ex, he never stopped going on, and then he would tell me he couldn't believe I wasnt apologising for upsetting him , totally messes your head ❤

  • @Tracy-v8h
    @Tracy-v8h 28 днів тому

    Oh my god Danish 😳 😮wow bang on there,can't believe how spot 👌 on you are....yes they'll start an argument for no reason and hate it if you're happy,so silent is the way I think

  • @PriscillaMalama-l8g
    @PriscillaMalama-l8g 4 місяці тому +1

    Danish, l really appreciate your teaching most of the things u discuss are exactly what I went through in 10 years of my marriage. God bless u.

  • @raidenewalden4354
    @raidenewalden4354 4 місяці тому +2

    Wow! That’s mind blowing ! Thank you !

  • @kusumraghava
    @kusumraghava 2 місяці тому

    Danish, you just described the situations I face with my husband every day. Finally, someone understands me. Finally, I felt like heard. 🙏

  • @bonnieromick9397
    @bonnieromick9397 7 місяців тому +7

    Wished Id of been your sister. We would of coordinated. I had a narcissist mom anyway. Im healing dearie

  • @JohnSzwed327
    @JohnSzwed327 Місяць тому

    The sleep thing is so on point it always baffled my mind how she could keep me up fighting and then just roll over and be snoring within seconds. Truly crazy

    • @Ayebaybaye
      @Ayebaybaye 12 днів тому

      Evil people get no rest until they cause others harm

  • @alilagrant3677
    @alilagrant3677 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you.... I've been in so many narcissistic relationships....i can see it now.... thank you 💕

  • @sebony_
    @sebony_ 7 місяців тому +18

    He would fall asleep after a fight leaving me awake all night.😢

  • @SweetyJain-so2zr
    @SweetyJain-so2zr 7 місяців тому +6

    Thanks sir for this information, this ll help me a lot

  • @katesantos8473
    @katesantos8473 7 місяців тому +4

    The craziest thing is when they think we are plotting with them. instead , some ideas never came up into mind or heart.like: "aha! now I´ve catch you!"...rsrs....or like trying to read our minds. what a power, no?

    • @Freethnkr
      @Freethnkr 7 місяців тому +2

      Yelp that's exactly what my ex would do, after he had cheated multiple times, he started lurking around listening to my phone conversations, going through my stuff, going in yo my phone looking for his ah ha moment and admitting to me he thought the only reason I got back with him was to plot against him and seek revenge and it never crossed my mind.

  • @kokkiegrobler5749
    @kokkiegrobler5749 29 днів тому

    True. When you zip your lips they find something to ask you that they know interest you, in order to get you to speak. Very pathetic. If they left you, they will send you a short message falsely accuses you of something in the hope you will defend it, or try to correct him. They also knew exactly what will tiger your anger.

  • @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp
    @GloriaGonzalez-zz4wp 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you Danish for these words and God bless you I'm moving forward ⏩⏩⏩⏩ and God blessings 💞🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @sd-ud6iq
    @sd-ud6iq 7 місяців тому +3

    My narc mil daily shouts n morning after wake up scolding somebody,moving chair to wake others, breaking utensils n kitchen to prove she was the first to wake early morning

  • @GlenPage
    @GlenPage 7 місяців тому +2

    Danish, this is in your top 5 of videos. Thank you sir.

  • @michelleharkness7549
    @michelleharkness7549 29 днів тому +1

    Central Time Zone- Nortb America: btw: it’s so bizarre yet I have an acquaintance who at one time lived on my gated community and when she and her husband moved away they would come to my place unannounced and criticize my belongings, my style of arranging furniture and even pretend to be the owners of Whwre I live. When they wasted an afternoon of my time bringing in a shelf unit that was totally out of place in my place I put the shelving unit on my front stoop, told them to take it to their house, told them that they were blocked from my phone ( s ) and reminded them that they had personal property of mine that needed to be returned. It didn’t matter how they reacted or who they tried to turn against me because of this; they were being ridiculously unfair and I called them on it. 😮 Hopefully they are gone from my life forever

  • @user-ot8is1my1u
    @user-ot8is1my1u 3 місяці тому

    OMG JW 2 SAY TYSVM 4 THIS VIDEO. ITLL HELP SAVE MY LIFE!! Im a 53 yr old F w/ BPD married to a covert narc for 34 yrs n just left last nite. left once 17 yrs ago wen he tried 2 kill me with a hatchet but went back 4 yrs later. this time just found evidence of him cheating a cpl yrs ago. TY again!!!❤

  • @lisawells9905
    @lisawells9905 7 місяців тому +9

    The narcissist in my life kept asking why I was being so quiet?

    • @Freethnkr
      @Freethnkr 7 місяців тому +2

      Mine would ask the same. Never understanding I am an introvert and I don't really talk unless I need to..My narc ex was always talking and would get mad if I didn't run my mouth as much as he did, They equate silence as either you're angry or you're plotting against them. Because that's what they do...or it could be they just wanna drown out the voices in their head with a lot of noise and chatter, either way it's frustrating when you just want a quiet moment and they just gotta disturb your peace somehow.

  • @kavitathakur2223
    @kavitathakur2223 7 місяців тому +2

    I engaged in 2018 nd married in 2019 and I wondered in all these years where things gone wrong as I am in narcissistic family(in laws, husband)where all the member are same but now you are the one who gave me clarity...
    In all these years I lost my emotions feeling one by one.... I wondered how... But now I understand... Narcissistic people don't let you show sadness neither they want you to be happy and meanwhile they sucks everything from you.... Gave just rage.....
    Please tell me how to bring up a 3 year old male boy in this type of environment? Is divorce is solution or something else

  • @DayaMcCarthy
    @DayaMcCarthy 4 місяці тому +2

    I stopped responding to my narc dad that I live with. Ive been grey rocking him, it drives him crazy, but Ive been journalling and writing down my plan to leave and be independent. This man aka my narc dad stole pages of my diary, I entered his room and I found my pages with my plans in his briefcase. Now it makes sense how he knew exactly what to sabotage.
    I dont understand what he wants from me. He doesn't want me to be free and independent. What does he what. He already drove my mum crazy and gave her chronic stress till she died.
    I look exactly like my mum. Is that the case? He sabotage my finances, I now have absolutely no money.
    I had been grey rocking him for a while and he told me he booked me to go to the therapist, long story short after sharing everything to the "therapist" I found it it wasnt an actually therapist but the woman he was cheating on my mum with.
    All these things have happened but I haven't confronted him.
    I just want out.
    How can someone be so deceptive, malicious agaisnt their own child that wants nothing but to be loved by them and love them back.
    I love to love people but Ive noticed it has put me in hot soup when I try to love my father

    • @raindrop1215
      @raindrop1215 4 місяці тому

      I've had similar experiences with my dad. I finally escaped him when a good friend of the family brought me to stay with family out of state for a while. I got a job and got out on my own.
      Years later I discovered that the family members I was brought to were also narcs. But, at least I got away from my dad. He has more psychological power over me because he is my parent l. I pray that things go well for you.

  • @taibasohaib6352
    @taibasohaib6352 2 місяці тому

    I recently viewed your video and was surprised to learn that the information presented is accurate. My spouse exhibits similar behaviors.

  • @davidbrister7362
    @davidbrister7362 7 місяців тому

    What’s worse is the narcissist the child. He has put me thru since he was a young adult trying to out do me and win at a no contest way. I finally had enough of all his put downs since I had a heart attack but now silence is golden. Thank you for your insight I am healing now.

  • @momusicsounds7908
    @momusicsounds7908 7 місяців тому +5

    # 5 "Just do what I say."

  • @ipsitakar6684
    @ipsitakar6684 7 місяців тому +4

    what if the narcissistic person is giving you silence treatment? then how our silence will work?

  • @lolabear6788
    @lolabear6788 7 місяців тому +3

    Very very good video. Thank you so much!

  • @derek_the_great7455
    @derek_the_great7455 7 місяців тому +2

    Great video and spot on....agree 👌

  • @gaurs230
    @gaurs230 7 місяців тому +2

    Right makes so much sense

  • @sheetalsharma8756
    @sheetalsharma8756 7 місяців тому

    Your videos are really helpful in getting an insight about narcissistic behaviour. God bless you Danish.

  • @karnalsunita90
    @karnalsunita90 6 днів тому

    So accurate 👌🙏

  • @simonahandschuh6651
    @simonahandschuh6651 5 місяців тому

    Thanks for Your wonderful work helping us the empath community to survive from those pervert narcissists. In the video about silence You mention that a narcissist thinks everyone is functioning like him. How is it possible, doesn't he/ she recognize by observing that others don't humiliate each other neccessarily? If he/she can attack the guilt wound in the psyche of their victim, while as they have none such, don't they understand that the other person is quite the opposite of them? Thx for explaining a bit this point further, it kind of irritated me
    You're so wonderful. Thanks again, keep on the good work

  • @JennyParker-pl9op
    @JennyParker-pl9op 7 місяців тому +7

    And also plz in Urdu also so I can also share to all seniors and some other friends all can't go with this language sir

  • @soniaochieng
    @soniaochieng 7 місяців тому +2

    Not Anymore !.

  • @matikramer9648
    @matikramer9648 7 місяців тому +2

    Thank you, Danish

  • @brittpayne7198
    @brittpayne7198 7 місяців тому +5

    Do you think if being with a narcissist could train the normal person to mirror them? And thus become a narcissist, too? Accidentally, of course.

    • @cindys.9688
      @cindys.9688 7 місяців тому +4

      A true narcissist isn't trained. They are born that way - at least in my opinion. If a person "mimicks" a narcissist then I think it's done purposely. Whether the person realizes it or not.
      You know about the "fight or flight" responses I'm sure. I think a person (who is not a narcissist) will mimick a narcissist's words or behaviors strictly out of spite, or in the "fight" response. It's like, "Back at you!!"
      I've done something like that with my narcissistic sister - well, she's my sister, so...🤷🏼‍♀️ That's what sisters do sometimes. It's never gone well and she responds very loudly (ahem). I'd never recommend it, but she had it coming. We can only take so much.
      Take care of yourself! Hugs from California.🫂🌺

    • @Erica-cf1xb
      @Erica-cf1xb 7 місяців тому

      Yes, but I believe that the person who isn't naturally deviant will get hurt and eventually wake up. What they want to do is hurt the other enough where the identity swaps.

    • @brittpayne7198
      @brittpayne7198 7 місяців тому +2

      @@cindys.9688 thank you for that info! We all got to stick together. !

    • @thuurmichels763
      @thuurmichels763 7 місяців тому

      A narcissist craves control. They manipulate-isolate-control.
      So you are robbed of your social circle. In order to be a narcissist, you need to be apathic. No feelings whatsoever for nothing and no-one but themselves.
      So unless you are apathetic, chances of you becoming like them are slim. Especially because they want to keep the control over you.

    • @matikramer9648
      @matikramer9648 7 місяців тому

      Are you talking about reactive rage? When victim actually look like reacting like narcissistic person?
      From what I red that one question shows that 'ou are not narcissistic person

  • @PriscillaMalama-l8g
    @PriscillaMalama-l8g 3 місяці тому

    Danish, u are very correct my x husband did exactly what you said he just questioned me about something that happened a long time ago n why i said that what I meant n misunderstanding began i had to justify myself.

  • @potatochips9254
    @potatochips9254 3 місяці тому

    I wasnt gonna post this but it may help someone, am sending u support God bless u're not alone and have faith u'll get out of there one day and live the peaceful n well deserved life.
    Whats "funny" is the more u stay silent the more crazier they get the more they tell u what they are tryna cook themselves bc they are so desperate of an answer they literally try everything.
    They start asking u literally repeating themselves over n over again "whats going on inside ur head, tell me so i know what to do" "did u lost ur tongue" "are u gonna leave me speak to myself like a crazy person".
    They try to be gentle at 1st then if it doesnt work they go crazy, angry or even violent sometimes (like gettin thrown some stuffs at u and even being physically abusive) and guess what the cycle repeat back to square 1, being gentle and valuing u by complimenting u and so on like wtf is even that logic. 😂
    The most annoying thing is yes silence rly helps a ton but they get way too insistant, not leaving u alone or even breath so it can last a VERY VERY VERY long time & u just sit there wondering why u're forced to waste ur damn time w them when all they have been doing is repeating the same shit over n over again giving u an useless discours.
    But the sad part is u feel urself regressing u can feel ur inner child feeling soooo terrified of anything that can go wrong bc she doesnt feel safe at ALL. Feeling that fear feels so uncomfortable that its tempting to sometimes just answer shortly so it stops and tbh they only thing that works was doing that dropping the bomb they were scared to hear and just let them deal w it bc what is done is done and thats YOUR life ur decisions belongs to U not them.

  • @ritapeters1330
    @ritapeters1330 3 місяці тому +3

    Yea, cruel ..he fell asleep , me crying besides him

    • @Ayebaybaye
      @Ayebaybaye 12 днів тому

      They get off on it like a true sicko

  • @getfitwithlorna6671
    @getfitwithlorna6671 7 місяців тому +7

    My ex narc husband would always ask me what I'm thinking about and I've always found it weird as why I couldn't be in my thoughts. So my answer would be that I'm not thinking about anything just so that I wouldn't have to explain myself and enter a never ending draining and pointless discussion.

  • @JennyParker-pl9op
    @JennyParker-pl9op 7 місяців тому +5

    Aslam Alaykum,
    Thanks alot for all your videos with all the details given in simple emotional language which help to understand.
    I am facing real issues from my sister which is now socialy is being a threat also because of some properties issue involved
    Kindly try to give me. The idea how to stop them even legally. Because the mainly reason is she is narcissist but can't report legally .I think

  • @deirdremacdonald5543
    @deirdremacdonald5543 Місяць тому +1

    My neighbour is such a person, if she doesn't get a reaction, she damages cars and spreads evil gossip - not too easy to ignore!

  • @englishrose1636
    @englishrose1636 6 місяців тому +1

    Once i stopped reacting to my narc mother in law. She started hiding my breakfast and freezing and not giving milk packets of my 1 year old baby. I have no other option to keep silence.

  • @cm6338
    @cm6338 7 місяців тому +1

    I left my narcissist ex-husband 3yrs ago and he's still kinda stalking me. I won't talk to him and feel so good about it 😂
    He also hit on every friend I had and that my teenage daughter had in addition to pork and dating sex sites and always thought he was so slick which he wasn't.! I've found myself again and love life again. ❤❤❤❤

  • @christylee519
    @christylee519 4 місяці тому

    You have helped me so much

  • @sarojenidevi9283
    @sarojenidevi9283 2 місяці тому

    Very important thank you

  • @humeraahmed6477
    @humeraahmed6477 7 місяців тому

    I am experiencing the same! Great work on it!

  • @ritapeters1330
    @ritapeters1330 3 місяці тому +1

    My covert always has the tv on also while asleep ..he cannot stand the silence

  • @VadersGodchild
    @VadersGodchild 7 місяців тому

    Thank you so much Danish.. much love to u❤

  • @CandiceGoddard
    @CandiceGoddard 7 місяців тому

    I've found that this is true through experience. My mother is a narcissist and so are several other females on her side of the family.
    The worst thing I can do, what makes me into a demon. Is be silent or have nothing to do with them.
    My sister and I would be beaten often for being "too quiet". If I was in my room reading, even if my sister was asleep. It was an issue. When I was a teenager I thought my mother would antagonise us because she wanted to have something to complain about like other parents. Only later did I realise that she was a -satan- narcissist.

  • @sudhashukla8149
    @sudhashukla8149 Місяць тому

    Family shame.. social status...& Ideal parents role karna jaruri hai for children welfare....sahan karti rahi...i knew him as a egoistic & angry person.but he was a Narsist.. today his reality exposed..36 years i spent in this trauma world....pyar thaa hi nahi kabhi..aab i am freely living in a spritual ashram since last one year as i am financially independent.this became my strength..